I'm Kourtnei. It's my thirteenth birthday. All my friends came. And so did a lot of cute boys.
Let us get one thing straight diary.
I do NOT wanna write in you. At all. Diaries for dorks, bitches, sluts, and whores. Not girls like me. Girls like Kourtnei Katzman and Vanessa Archambault DO NOT write in diaries. Girls like Kennedy Luong, Lainey Russell, and that fat slut Alice Grant do.
Kennedy is my friend and part of Vanessa and I's friend group. But she's too nice and dorky to be anything other than the butt of our jokes.
here are my friends
We're the tightest group of friends in school. We spend all weekend together. Doing the usual hangouts and shopping sprees and of course, posting it all on social media.
And of course, obsess over all the absolute sexiest boys in school. We even came up with a list
I'm Kourtnei Katzman and I'm fabulous and fabulous girls don't write in diaries.
Let me list the better gifts I got. Concert tickets, a new MacBook, a new iPhone, the latest fashions straight from Seventeen Magazine's Style Lab, jewelry, and of course a Nintendo Switch.
And then from my mother came you. A tacky light blue faux-cheetah print diary. She must be insane. She knows I don't want you yet she got me you as a gift anyway.
Now diary don't get me wrong. I'm just not a girl who will EVER WRITE IN YOU AGAIN.
Now that that's over with let's begin.
I'm one of the most popular girls in school. Everyone wants to be me besides my friends. We're all 10s unlike Kennedy, Lainey, and Alice who are all 3s at the best.
Don’t feel jealous dear diary that you aren’t as beautiful as me. And don’t worry about those freaks diary. They don’t feel a thing. My friends and I joke about them and call them sluts and whores. It’s all quite fun really. And all five of us end up howling in laughter afterwards and everyone else laughs along with us. So no harm done at all. And by the way everyone loves us.
It’s like Gossip girl, you know you love me. Xoxo.
I’m always looked upon for how absolutely gorgeous I am. And how talented I am too.
But whatever diary. I'll give you my appearance. Since this will be the first and last time we ever talk.
I'm medium height, model thin, I have a perfect body, flawless caramel skin, curly ebony hair, perfect amber eyes, natural pouty lips that absolutely every girl at school envies, and of course I keep up with all the latest trends. And I make them too! I'm fashionable and wear the best and most fashionable and on point makeup. I'm adored. I'm fabulous!
Now Diary that's me!
Bye forever! You slut!
-You know want me, Kourtnei Katzman xoxo, princess.