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Sasuke's Sweet Tooth

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Hey, SasuSaku and SSS Fam loves! Happy Halloween (+1 day)!  Sooo I have no explanation for this ridiculous fluffbomb other than it’s 100% @fatalfascination’s and @ladywithpurplehair‘s faults. LOL  Also, the title is subject to change ‘cause I forgot it needed one until just now. 

Anyways, hope you enjoy!

Sasuke's Sweet Tooth

He would never crave sweets. Even as a child, he never had much of a sweet tooth, …unlike his older brother and mother. 

But as he looked down at her, his little girl who barely reached his kneecap… He knew he’d be eating candy tonight. For they had taught their daughter the importance of…sharing. And he could deny her nothing. 

He was resigned to his fate.

The right corner of his mouth twitched, just once.

“Papa! Papa!” she giggled, pulling insistently on his cloak.

The left corner rose higher. His girl loved Halloween.

He had enjoyed the holiday when he was her age, too; he had the memories to prove it. Helping his mother decorate. Watching her elegant hands slice intricate designs into pumpkin flesh, those graceful fingers then helping his little ones wield a kunai to carve his own jack-o-lantern. Laughing with her at the ludicrous amount of sugar his brother ingested in the days before and after the 31st. Demanding that he and Itachi dress up in matching costumes, two dinosaurs, two ghosts… Trick-or-treating with his brother, confident in the fact that Itachi would rather be with him than friends his own age. The satisfaction and pride swelling in his chest as Itachi accepted his own candy haul with a poke to the forehead and a grateful smile… 

But the joy he’d once found in the holiday had halted entirely, ending with his and Itachi’s childhoods. He’d scoffed haughtily at the childish event in the academy and as a genin. He’d ignored it utterly in the dark period that followed…. 

Another tug on his slacks and an angelic voice brought him back to the present:

“Take these, Papa!” His girl’s eyes sparkled as she held out two pieces of candy corn.

He crouched down and laid his hand on her head, smiling gently at her. “What is it, peanut?”

Short arms rose and a little mouth opened for an excited explanation, but—

“Saradaaa! Come here, sweetheart,” Sakura called from their bedroom. “Let’s get your costume on and see if it’s spooooky enough to scare Papa!”

He could hear the grin in his wife’s voice, and he saw his daughter’s as clear as day.

It had taken years for him to accept the festivities again. It had taken Sakura, in truth. She had reminded him how important it was for him to participate in such community events; that Halloween was a time for all of Konoha—those of ancient clans, those of no clan; shinobi and civilians, alike—to give the village children an evening to be children. She’d opened his eyes gently, as only she could. Though he had acknowledged the holiday and had participated in the traditions—some more gladly than others—it had taken a few more years and the start of his family for him to truly remember the joy. That contentment was there even during those years when he wore a barely discernable yet undeniably pouty frown—those rare years when his wife had managed to…coerce…him into wearing some sort of ‘festive’ attire….

“Go on,” he urged softly, swiping a strand of jet hair behind her ear. “I want to see.”

This year, his girls had gone costume shopping when he’d been away on a mission, and they’d insisted on keeping their spoils a surprise. This year, it seemed Sakura would let him get away with not dressing up. A shame, really… A small smirk upturned his features. He wasn’t the dobe—he would never be one to enthusiastically mummify himself in toilet paper and limp after trick-or-treaters, alternating between groaning like the undead and cackling like an idiot. But he’d grown quite fond of his wife’s rather creative forms of…incentivizing.


Besides, he’d been a good sport even through last year’s fiasco, when Sarada had taken a keen interest in a rather specific facet of clan history….

He’d kept a straight face when his little peanut had drawn black whiskers on his face…and placed black kitty-cat ears on his head…. He’d kept that straight face even when he’d seen his wife biting down on her hand to mute her delighted giggles, lest she distract the whisker-artist; when she’d dug out her phone and utterly ignored his silent pleas, threats, and promises; when she’d instead made a great show of triumphantly poking the ‘record’ button; when he’d been unable to even mouth a single, hopeless ‘please no’ at her for fear of hurting his daughter’s feelings; when Sakura’s surgeon hands had shaken and quaked from her silent giggles; when she’d crept closer, closer, closer to capture the full glory of his transformation into a damned cat, …all while he was helpless to do a damned thing to stop it, …utterly at his girls’ mercy; even when her eyes had begun to water from the sheer effort of keeping her mirth quiet….

 He remembered it all perfectly….

“Mama”—Sarada whirled around to reveal her handiwork, leaving her father to finally reveal the full strength of his don’t-you-dare glower—“doesn’t Papa look cute?” 

That was all it took. Sakura’s hand fell from her mouth as she doubled over, barely managing to wave Sarada into her arms. 

“You did a-a…wonderful job, sweetheart,” she gasped, showering kiss and giggles all over their little girl. Then her fit ended, her laughter had just stopped completely. And she got that terrible, devious look on her face, then she winked right at him.

Please no.

“You know who would love to see your masterpiece, Sarada?”

Dear god, no, woman! 

“Uncle Naruto and Uncle ‘Kashi!” Sarada sang, always proud to give the correct answer.

He stared down his wife, mismatched eyes boring into her soul, silently imploring her one last time not to hit the ‘send’ button: Whatever you want, Sakura. However much of it you want. It’s yours. Just put the damn phone down!

She smiled a feline grin, jade eyes darkening to an evil emerald.

Oh, she knew exactly the sentiment he was trying to convey. She just didn’t care.

Sakura held the phone out to their daughter. “Here. Go ahead and show your uncles your hard work, sweetheart!” With Sarada distracted, she winked and blew him a kiss, brimming with nighttime promise.

His frown didn’t waver.

Then she mimed a cat claw, dragging her curled fingers slowly through the air, …pink eyebrows arching in lewd suggestion.

He felt a flash of different sort of heat—utterly distinct from his burning mortification—but even that barely put a dent in his bruised ego…. 

His wife’s phone sang out merrily.

He didn’t so much as glance at the video chat that followed. With the dobe’s booming guffaws and bellows of ‘Kitty-cat!’, and Kakashi’s cacophony of breathless chuckles all blasting through the phone’s speakers, …he knew he’d never hear the end of this. Not in ten years, not in twenty, not in thirty… His cheeks grew hot as he realized the depths of the hell into which his wife had just dropkicked him: the dobe would find a way to have Kitty-cat inscribed on his tombstone, Naruto would find a way!

But then his daughter interrupted, sagely, eruditely:

“Uncle Naru, Papa’s not just a ‘kitty-cat.’” Chin held high, index finger out—so much like her mother—she corrected quite seriously, “He’s an Uchiha Ninneko.

All his teammates, the two flailing on the splitscreen and the one flailing on the living floor, were wheezing from the cuteness, but he only rose and laid a firm, proud hand on his daughter’s shoulder.

Damn straight, Sarada. Head held just as high as the youngest Uchiha’s, he gave an unflinching nod, …and steadfastly ignored the bobbing of the kitty cat ears on his head, the cackles of Team 7…. Damn. Straight.

That made it all worth it, …even the trick-or-treating surprise he’d planned days ago for his girls, …the surprise that now promised to be the undoing of his sanity.

He wasn’t one for surprises, himself. Sakura, of course, was perfectly aware of that fact, but that never stopped her from injecting a little…spontaneity…in his life. Then again, her ‘thoughtful’ surprises usually only came as retaliation to one of his little teasing games…. But that was beside the point.

For once in his life, he had planned a surprise, and it was a good one:

Glad to further Sarada’s interest in her clan’s history and determined not to reveal just how…unenthusiastic…he was to dress up as a cat, he’d gone to Nekobaa to arrange a sort of escort. He’d asked Granny Cat and the proud Uchiha Ninneko if a few of them would like to accompany the Uchiha heiress—and he knew his girls were going to love it.

Sure, he now knew it would be the final nail in his coffin, what with Naruto’s new quest to change his nom de guerre from ‘Sharingan no Sasuke’ to ‘Neko no Sasuke.’ But at least Neko no Sasuke would meet his doom knowing the youngest Uchiha had enjoyed her Halloween to the fullest.

Once the clamor at his expense had finally quieted down, his girls hung up, finished getting ready, and gathered their supplies. Right on time, he sensed the ninja cats’ approach. He crept to door as Sarada watched, eagle-eyed. He crouched down and beckoned his little girl over, straightening her cat ears once she scampered over.

“Papa has a surprise for you, peanut,” he said, a sly hint to his voice. He grinned softly as her eyes lit up and her little hands clasped together.

“What is it? What is it?” she gasped, bouncing more like a bunny than a cat.

Sakura—now in full black cat attire, complete with tights, tutu, ears, and tail —popped over just in time to see him slowly pull the door open.

A girlish shriek of glee rang through the night.

And he’d thought Naruto could make his ears bleed…. Despite his pained grimace, he let out a low chuckle as Sarada ran out to greet her escorts. Sakura, suddenly a squealy twelve-year-old again, skipped over, hauled him up by the hand, and dragged him out the door. The indulgent little smirk he wore quickly widened into a narrow gape, however.

He’d asked for one or two—one or two!

Yet he saw a dozen Uchiwa-sporting ninneko. A dozen. And little Sarada was going up to each and every one, politely introducing herself. He couldn’t tell them to leave, …could he? No, not with Sarada bouncing around like that!

“You really ought to close your mouth, Sasuke-kun,” his wife purred to his ear, never missing an opportunity to tease him back, and draped herself over his side, “…or I might have to close it myself.”

His jaw snapped shut, his cheeks burned, …but his hand automatically went to tuck away the strand of pink her frolicking had shaken into her forehead.

“Just look at her, she’s so excited!” Sakura pointed towards their daughter: the ninja cats were fawning over Sarada. His wife rose to her tiptoes to kiss his cheek. “And you did that, anata.” She released him and retrieved her phone. “Just remember the look on her face when all fifteen of us see Naruto tonight, ‘kay?” She laughed and went off to corral the ninja cats for photos while the light still allowed.

The dobe…, he thought and took a steadying breath.

And so the Uchiha Clan had walked the spooky streets of Konoha, …dressed as cats, …and escorted by a clowder of actual cats. He’d imagined his face would be stained permanently red, given the massive bloodrush he’d endured for so many hours that Halloween. Once the Uzumakis arrived, however, he was certain he’d never regain his hearing. Not after having Naruto collapse against him, caught between gasping for air and yowling hysterics into his ear. “Teme, you… You brought an army…of cats with you?!”

By some miracle, he’d survived Naruto’s onslaught, …barely. He still heard an occasional whisper of ‘neko,’ but that was nothing a sharp glare couldn’t fix. 

Hell, he’d do it all over again in a heartbeat if his little peanut wanted to be an Uchiha Ninneko a second time. Granny Cat would love it, as would the ninneko, …and he certainly wouldn’t mind seeing his wife in that costume again….

“Papa!” Almost conspiratorially, Sarada waved him in closer, cutting off his reminiscing. Her little hand beckoned until he opened his palm for the two, multicolored candies. “Don’t eat these yet, Papa,” she told him sternly, hands on her hips, chin held high.

So much like her mother…

Promise?” She brandished a finger at him and narrowed her eyes behind her little glasses.

“Of course, peanut,” he agreed. Though he was, admittedly, confused. Perhaps he wouldn’t find himself in a sugar coma tonight after all….

As he waited for his girls to get dressed, he considered what Sarada had planned for those two pieces of candy corn, spinning them absently in his hand.

“We’re coming!” Sarada announced a few minutes later. “Close your eyes, okay?”

He grinned and did as she commanded. “Ready when you are.”

Her little footsteps sounded like pouring rain as she sped toward him, she was so small.

“Mama, are you ready??” she gasped, excitement coating every word.

“Mmmhmm! I think your father’s going to like your idea.”

There was something to his wife’s tone that made him want to peek….

“Okay,” Sarada agreed, her voice sounding suddenly muffled, “open!”

His mouth opened in time with his eyes, jaw hanging slightly agape. His daughter’s short, black hair was slicked back with gel; what little he could see of her face was powdered white. Yet her face wasn’t what caught his eye.

He hadn’t expected a costume so…familiar.

“Do you like it?” she asked from behind a swath of dark fabric, her words a coming out a little rubbery.

He looked up at his wife, who stood in the same mysterious pose with the same hairdo, …and the same outfit.

“What…? You’re…”

“Vvvampires!” Sarada shouted for him, flinging back her cape to show off her plastic fangs and the smudge of red at her lips. She grabbed Sakura’s hand to pirouette around her mother’s fingers, her black cape fanning out from a high collar, its purple lining fluttering up prettily to reveal something grey underneath.

His eyes narrowed. He knew that collar. He knew that lining. He was wearing that cloak, that vest!

He still hadn’t found his words, but realization hit him: It seemed he wasn’t included in this year’s Halloween shopping trip…because he was the costume. He glanced helplessly up at his wife, who only bit her red lip and crinkled her eyes in reply.

“Papa, I know you don’t like costumes, even if you say you do. And this way,” Sarada explained, noticing his blatant confusion, “we can all have matching costumes but you don’t have to dress up this time!”

My daughter… She saw through me last year…. He felt color rising in his cheeks again as he took in a deep breath. Sarada… She…she thinks I dress like a vampire?

“Isn’t your daughter thoughtful, Sasuke-kun? She came up with it all on her own!” came Sakura’s voice, shaking slightly with another round of suppressed laughter, cracking a bit around his name. She didn’t wait for an answer, likely afraid she’d let out a giggle if she did. “So do we make good vampires, or what?” She swooshed around in the cape she’d clearly stolen from his side of the closet and pinned up.

That was it. He closed his eyes with a shake of his head and a single chuckle, resigning himself to be forever haunted by Halloweens. But his laugh rattled the candies in his palm. “Ah.” He smiled tenderly down at his daughter and extended his hand. “These are so I wouldn’t have to put on the fangs, right?”

Sarada clapped her hands together and nodded, pleased he understood at last. “Mama and I decided we just need one picture of all of us in fangs, then you can eat them!”

Sakura brought out her phone...and a tube of red lipstick.

At that, he recoiled.

“Relax,” she soothed, leading him to the couch while Sarada made faces in hall mirror. She flung her cape out behind her and sat on his lap. “I’m just going to smudge it on you for a little fake blood. Oh, don’t pout, now!” she teased, slapping his chest before twisting the lipstick up.

Yet she didn’t reach for his face, instead she ran the red pigment over her own lips, rubbing them lightly together. “I’m sorry, dear,” she continued, capping the tube, “I just couldn’t resist. Sarada asked so sweetly, it almost broke my heart!”

His frown twitched.

She ran a hand through his hair. “You have to know I have no complaints about your looks. And besides…” She leaned in closer, holding him still as she pressed her lips just below his. “You know there’s always a…treat…to make up for my little tricks….” Avoiding his eyes, she ran her thumb over the mark, smoothing it out.

He smirked at the truth in her words.  

Just as his arm was circling around her waist, Sakura called out, “We’re ready for the photo, sweetheart! Grab the candy for your father!” She turned back to her husband and stroked his arm, murmuring, “Getting into character, ne, Sasuke-kun?” Again, she didn’t wait for an answer. She withdrew her fangs from her cloak pocket, nudged them into place, and smiled wide, eyes sparkling up at him.

With Sarada just around the corner, he leaned in close, smirking a kiss on her neck, and decided it was his wife’s turn to blush. He ran the flats of his nails over her arm, pulling her tighter. “I wonder if I’ll prefer last year’s claws or this year’s…”—he trailed off, bending to give her a single nibble on the ear—“…bite.

There it was. The pink he knew he’d bring to her cheeks…

Sarada chose that moment to dive on to the couch, fangs bared, fresh candy corn in hand. She squirmed into her mother’s lap, who then cuddled them both into her husband’s chest with a laugh. She then whipped out her phone and handed off the selfie-taking responsibility to the one with the longest wingspan, her husband. 

He switched the camera to selfie-mode, but the littlest vampire spoke up:

“Smile for your fangs first, Papa!” she ordered, a multicolored tooth in each hand.

Without a hint of hesitation, he did as she commanded and helped her push the pliable candies onto his canines, telling himself, Fangs over cat ears. Fangs over whiskers. “Weady?” he finally asked, craning his arm out, …only briefly wondering if he sounded more or less ridiculous than he looked.

Without looking at the screen, he had his answer: Both of his girls were trying desperately to avoid laughing their fearsome teeth out. Steadfast and straight-faced, he proceeded. He looked towards the camera screen, about to start the countdown.

But seeing the sheer delight reflected in his daughter’s face, in his wife’s, …a soft smile came naturally. Well, it would’ve, had there not been globs of candy in the way.

“Wun… Twuu… Twee.”


Phew. Okay. Second and last of my Halloween fanfic marathon! Omg. I don’t really know where this came from, but hope you at least kinda enjoyed my fluffy fluff bomb! If you did, please let me know!! :) These three deserve some levity and warmth, don’t they?? 

Oh, I should probs also mention that I have not read/watched after Shippuden ended. I have heard, however, that Sarada is basically an angel, so that’s my basis for this fic. ;)

PS: I had every intention of doing a NSFW Part II for this...but life. Maybe one day? ;)