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Scarred

‘Yosuke, you will never leave me. Haha…...hhhhhh…..HAHAHAHAHAHA!’

The mad laughter was still resounding in the darkened space when Yosuke was woken by the familiar tone ringing in his ears. Pushing himself off the hard floor, Yosuke held himself up weakly and midway, he had to pause. Panting, he stared intensely at the only light source in the room as the shadow moved to let more in, but the darkness, crawling in from the corner of his eyes, threatened to take them away.

Mustering his strength, Yosuke tried to shake the weakness away but in the end, exhaustion won. Giving in, he slowly lowered himself back onto the emotionless grey tiles, which was once yellow and orange, beautifully laid in a checkered pattern. When he first saw them, he complained. Those colours were too bright, he said. The floor practically reflected like a mirror if the light were on and almost blinded him, but still, they stuck because when his partner smiled at him and told Yosuke his reason, the half Vampire deflated.

’I think they are pretty and I chose them because they are the same colour as your eyes, warm just like the Sun,’ was what he said.

Sweet words meant only for him was now a distant memory, serving solely to make those same eyes squeezed themselves tightly to the reminder and pain that he’s never leaving this place...

.
..
...

‘Yosuke, I made you dinner. Give it a try.’

’Yosuke, I will walk you home.‘

’Yosuke, what do you think of me?‘

’Yosuke, I finally found you. Are you hiding from me?

’Yosuke, what do you think of this place? It’s close to the woods and your nest.‘

’Yosuke, do you think we should paint the walls rainbow? Or a plain colour?‘

’Yosuke, I have something important to tell you.‘

’Yosuke, don’t worry. I will never let anyone come between us.‘

‘Yosuke, I won. I beat the Duchess today.‘

’Yosuke, I’m okay. Don’t look so sad. It hurts me more to see you make this face.‘

’Yosuke, I said I’m fine. Why won’t you believe me?‘

’Yosuke, no, no, no, no. I refuse. I cannot. I just can’t. Please don’t leave me. Please….‘

’Yosuke, why are you leaving me?‘

’Yosuke, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry...‘

’Yosuke, this is the only way….no one will hurt you again.‘

‘Yosuke…..HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA….you will never leave me again..’

When he jolted up from his nightmare, the night has left and replaced was the sunlight stretching towards him. Instinctively, his body inched away, back into the corner where the burn cannot touch him, where nothing could.

Yosuke had no idea how much time has passed since he laid there. The clock above remained silent and his heavy breathing filled the emptiness. It could have been minutes. It could have been hours. Regardless, they were meaningless as he stayed, unmoving like everything else in the room, uncaring even though his searing throat urged him to feed.

Eat, eat, eat, eat, eat…..EAT! was a chant he heard at every waking moment, from a voice inside him, tempting him to take one step out of his hide, to let his teeth grow, to sink them into the neck of his prey and drink to his heart’s content. His eyes moved across the white curves and pointed edges widely spread across the room, and finally to the only vein that was still pumping in the room.

His body, compelled by hunger, sank his teeth into the thin wrist and the first taste of blood in a long while was sweet, quenching his parching thirst and it was painful, numbly painful. His last drop of sanity was all he had left to tear his only supply out of his clenched hard teeth. If he wasn’t this lost, he would have heard the torn of muscle.

Trembling uncontrollably, Yosuke hugged his legs to his chest and made himself as small as possible into the washed walls. Sobbing, he lost himself in the misery he brought upon himself.

He had only himself to blame. He was the one who chose to not believe in Souji’s strength, to not have enough faith in his sworn life partner. He thought leaving was the best way to turn their enemies’ attention away. How misplaced his determination was and how hurtful his words were when they left his mouth that he was leaving and to break their bond. Never did he realize the destructive consequences of a severed bond on a werewolf until it was too late.

The confusion in Souji’s eyes gradually turned into agony as he screamed and howled for the hollowness lodged deep into where his feelings for Yosuke once was. He still remembered the distress in those bloodshot eyes as they turned on him, red like the bites on him as Souji marked him over and over.

Never once had Souji treated him this roughly before. Perhaps it was insanity driven by desperation to regain the lost bond through their bodies; a question Yosuke will never know the answer to but there was one thing Yosuke knew. He was the one who drove Souji to madness, forced his beloved to smash their home into pieces.

He banged on the mirror, hoping Souji could hear his pleads.

‘Souji, let me out!’

‘Souji! They are coming for you! You need to leave!’

‘Souji, please stop this. Stop hurting yourself.’

‘Souji…..Souji….Souji...’

But his cries had gone unheard, drowned by Souji’s hysterical laughter. Each night, he could only cry while he tried to lace his hands with Souji’s, feeling only the cuts of the shards and his blood layered the lines crimson, mirroring Souji’s.

Gradually, he stopped because he could no longer feel his limbs. Even opening his eyes was too much effort but he forced himself to stay awake till the familiar silhouette appeared. Showing across the pieces was Souji’s smile, just how he always remembered his love would playfully do.

’Say that again. No, wait. Don’t. You must be insane. Until dawn?! Are you forgetting I am a vampire?’

’Half. You’re half vampire.‘

’It still hurts! Half or not! I’m going back! This. Is. Crazy. Bye.‘

’Don’t worry. It’s only till the last second, just before the sun comes out. The first sight of the sun is the most beautiful and I promise you I won’t let the first ray reaches you. I will carry you off bef—‘

If he could sit up, if he could reach across the broken mirror, there was one last thing he wanted to do. That was to lean up and give the thin lips a quick peck in the corner; just like that time when he ran away, leaving a bewildered Souji at the edge of the forest. One last time...

I’m sorry, Souji. Please…

...don’t forgive me…