The night felt light. It hasn't been a dark day like usual, it had actually been one full of paperwork. And coming home at a proper time felt absolutely amazing. They had only had paperwork to do at the office today. Tying up loose ends to a few of the latest cases. The two had come home together, greeted the kids and sent them off to bed after a good dinner with Lucy, paying her and thanking her before letting her be on her way. Now they sit at the dinner top nursing a sweet glass of wine. This felt right, this felt good. They could breathe. Amanda’s hair was down and she had shed her blazer leaving her sitting in a tank top and traded her slacks for shorts. Her holster, belt and badge had been shed along the way. Olivia, on the other hand, was still incomplete work attire. Unlike most days neither was tense.
Her hair falling in her face as she leaned over a bit settling her face on her palm. Tilting her head to the side to watch the golden-haired female a few feet from her. Noticing how the tank top was snug enough to show her fit and toned abdomen. Locks on one side of her neck exposing the strong muscles of the other side. Blue eyes gazed off into a distance. Olivia took the time to admire her while she wouldn't get caught. She had seen many beautiful women but there was just something about Amanda. The brunette thought it was in her smile, seeing Amanda smile was a beauty to behold. With only a few things (people) inducing a real one, it was like a cacti blooming. Not all did it and not all could but the ones that could and the ones that did, held such great beauty. Amanda turns her eyes on Olivia and catches her in the act. But she only smiles. And it's that smile. The one that lights up the room and induces the smile she returns.
Taking the last sip of her wine, Olivia decided she better not start on another and that she was too tired to stay up and finish /anything/. “I think-” she stood and ran a hand through her hair, “-we should head on to bed.” It’d probably be the one day in the week they got to go to bed before midnight. Placing the glass in the sink, she turned to gesture for Amanda to hand over hers. The blonde smiled and stood up, “You took care of the kids tonight. Let me clean the kitchen?” Her hands coming up intertwining with Olivia’s. The whiter hands bringing them to her lips and kissing the knuckles before kissing her nose. Pulling away blue orbs stared into brown again, “Go, I'll be in there in a moment.” Olivia couldn't help it. With such a gentle gesture, she couldn't deny her. “Okay. Hurry please.” Amanda nodded kissing the back of both the older woman's hands.
Olivia slowly headed to the bedroom stopping to look in on their kids first. Finally, in the bedroom, she took off her belt, gun, and badge. And then started unbuttoning her shirt. Rarely did she change or stript in front of a mirror. Her scars were something that she stared at, they often triggered memories and made her day worse. But when she did it was hard to stop her. She hasn't worn a button up in a while but it felt so good too. Reminded of a time when things were a lot simpler. Slowly one by one each button was undone showed more of her scars. The stitches, the cuts, the burns. They all had scars.
Olivia is so busy watching the scars appear she didn't see Amanda walk in. Cold slightly damp hands fell over hers, a body behind hers. Lips on her shoulder and neck, “You are still the most beautiful woman I will and have ever seen. Scars or not.” Hazel eyes looked into blue ones as she finished taking her shirt off. Blue orbs emitting love, security, protection, and admiration.
The first time Amanda saw them was by accident and they were fresh. A few weeks after they had gotten her back. Olivia was tired of Brian and Amanda had offered her to stay a few days instead of a hotel or the crib. The brunette was on the floor crying. One of the stitches had torn and it was just another bad moment to the day. When Amanda walked in she hadn't realized Olivia was shirtless. The younger detective merely doctored it and gave Olivia painkillers before helping her to bed and holding her. The brunette cried silently for hours but not because of her emptiness or sadness. It was because she had never felt so protect or secure. She'd felt loved but she wasn't sure any compared to this.
“I love you, Amanda Rollins.” Olivia’s fingers intertwined with the ones on her hip. “I know you do.” Amanda turned her and brought their hands together to her chest, kissing Olivia's cheek. “Come on let's go to bed.” The brunette stripped and put her NYPD T-shirt with a sports bra and boy shorts on. Crawling into bed beside the blonde who was laying in her back. It was still light outside. Perks of summer. Neither of their lights was on. The two laid under the covers, wrapped in each other. Arms wrapped around each other, holding them. Fingers moving slowly, along an arm. Along with a back. Up a spine. Drawing circles against a muscle.
Amanda leaned up so that she could look at Olivia, she smiled. The older woman raising her brow, “What is it?” The Georgian shook her head, “You look so different when you are stress-free and not being wonder woman.” She moved so she could get the right angle to kiss her lover. Slowly, passionately. Both signing into it. When Olivia pulled away she saw Amanda’s frown. “What?” The woman propped up on her pillow, “You are intoxicating. Your smell, your sight, you taste. Your heart and smile. Your soothing voice, the way you are with the kids and-”
Her statement was interrupted by a quick but gentle kiss. “I get it.” Amanda lays on her back and looks up to hazel eyes. Olivia runs her hand over the blonde's stomach. “Whether you keep it or not. I will still be here.” The older woman's hand on the opposite side of the small bump, her thumb rubbing circles around the small area. Amanda turned her head and let her nose fall across Olivia’s and gave a soft smell inhaling the rose scent. “I’m keeping it.” Olivia sat up on her elbow quickly more excited than anyone could have expected. “Really?” She purses her lips to hide the grin forming. Amanda smiles and giggles, “Yes really.”
Olivia looks down at the small bump forming and lets her smile show, “You’re having another baby.” A hand finds the top of hers. “Liv - you know it’s could be ours if you want.” Silence. The Southern woman picks her head up from the pillow and looks to the brunette’s face. Olivia is staring at the woman’s belly and Amanda can see the tears glossing her honey orbs. Feeling her hand being squeezed the CO is pulled from her trance. “It’s only if you want that.” Turning her head away to blink away the tears that were developing and then back to the blonde. Amanda frowned her brows in worry, “Olivia - I want this - with you. I want a family. I want you.”
They stared in each other's eyes, for a long moment. A silent one. At least to anyone listening. Their eyes spoke all the words that needed to be said. At the same moment, they moved to collide with each other. Olivia’s arm wrapped around the smaller woman to hold her close - the smaller of the two brought her hands to wrap around the woman’s neck. It was slow and intense. The brunette turning her head so that she had better access to deepen it.
Her hand moving from her stomach to the blonde woman's back. “Lay back?” She says after pulling away from the kiss. The woman does pulling Olivia down with her. “Olivia, we don't -” Am and was cut off by another kiss. “You don't have to return it. Besides I just want to feel you?” She waited for Amanda to nod to proceed. Amanda smiled looking up at Olivia and nodded. This was what Olivia loved, seeing Amanda away from the squad. Around the boys, she was tough and fit in with them a lot better than Olivia ever would have. She smiled but not like this. With them, it was laughing at jokes and beer talk. With her, it was a genuine smile. The one a person wears when they are happy. Her lips curled into this most beautiful shape that Olivia found it hard to resist kissing. Her face wrinkled a bit in a few places. But it didn't change how much of it she loves.
The brunette's hair fell around Amanda's face when she moved so that she was comfortably over her. Olivia laid on her side against Amanda, her hands wondering from the woman’s hip to her shoulder. Her fingers dragging softy against the skin. Her kisses are slow and gentle, some on the lips others on the forehead, cheek, nose, and even the blonde’s jawline. Olivia was in utter admiration of her lover. The glow that came with the pregnancy attracted her like a bug to a light in the night. The woman’s gentleness was rutted in this too. While she loved passionate lovemaking, gentle lovemaking, and rough “forget the pain” sex, the older woman didn’t mind occasional one-sided sex, especially when it was gentle. While Olivia fretted the idea of having sex while being pregnant, it was mainly the idea of penetration. And not one male she had ever been with was aware that stimulation is a critical part of her orgasm. And she knows quite well that her lover unlike herself could reach that high without penetration. Amanda was smiling and it made Olivia’s heart skip a beat. This was her person, that one that was the warmth that she went to sleep and woke up too. The one who’s vanilla scent was calming; the one who understood her like no other. The one who she held as tight as possible with the desire to give her everything the world says she couldn’t have. She was aware that she couldn’t make Amanda’s past go away, as much as she tried, but she was going to make sure that the rest of her life was the best it could be. Full of laugh, love, admiration, family, and happiness. The brunette pulled away and looked at the woman below her. Her ocean eyes were easy to get lost in, her lips a pale pink that people have to use lipstick to get, her nose just right to fit against her own when they kissed or rubbed noses. The under part of her eyes showing the marks of stress and exhaustion that came with having their job. Her hair a blonde that would put the most golden hair to shame. A wandering hand gathered a tank top in her fist to move it up her body. The woman’s tummy showing now and making them both grin wider than the Cheshire Cat. The younger woman shifts into her lover more and lets an arm fall over her back. Her fingers lightly running across the skin on her shoulder blade. The taller woman’s hand lifts and comes to caress the cheek of her partner. For a moment her thumb is just moving up and down against Amanda's cheek, put the it extends and gazes across her lips a few times; Amanda stopping the movement to kiss her thumb. The whole time the fingers on her shoulder blade are moving to spell a word. When it's done, she whimpers and leans down connecting her lips with the blues eyes woman below her. Soulmate. Olivia moves her kisses to the tender spot on her neck. Amanda’s eyes close and she extends her neck to the left. The Lieutenant starts with small kisses, followed by a caress. She can feel the other woman’s goose bumps. Her right hand slides against the tinier rib cage and over the sports bra. She can feel the woman’s breath hitch below her but she doesn’t expect the whimper that comes right after it. “Mhm. I forgot you were far enough along for that to have such an effect.” “I’m not. It’s just what you do to me.” Amanda’s hand moves up to push the dark hair to one side of her head, giving it a tug guiding the woman back to her lips. And Olivia did. Her nose smushed against the blonde’s face as she was pulled into a bone shaking kiss. Amanda’s entering her lover’s lips and her tongue taking charge. The Commanding Officer slips her hand under the small amount of fabric that covers the senior detectives breasts. “Don’t use your hands.” Liv pulls back from the kiss. She had no intention of this going into such a lustful moment. But then she forgot that her lover was pregnant. She nods and pushes the razor back bra up like she did with the blonde’s shirt. Pressing kisses on her neck again, before following them with bites, soft but enough to make Amanda bit her lip and arch a bit. Her journey ends at her shoulder and she moves pass the rolled up tank and bra. Nipping lightly around the sensitive nipple that was hard already. “Your-” Olivia puts her finger against the woman’s lips, “Shhh, I know.” They make eye contact for a brief moment before she continues her menstrations. Taking the skin between her tongue and her teeth. Amanda whimpers again but Olivia can only tell it from the vibration in her chest. Chocolate eyes look up and watch the woman carefully as she finally lets her tongue circle around and take the nipple in her mouth. Amanda can’t hold the eye contact, her eyes close and she arches a bit into her lover’s mouth. "Calm down Manda or this will be torturous.” The Commanding Officer moves and repeats the actions to the other breast. The blonde grips the sheets. Olivia’s hand slides repositioning over the fist holding the sheets and lacing their fingers together. Amanda opens her eyes again and ‘Liv is over her. “Hi.” The older woman bites her lip, “Hi.” “Please don’t stop.” Amanda rolls her hips and doesn’t expect to feel the stronger woman’s knee. Olivia rubs her cheek against the woman under hers. The blonde placed a kiss behind her ear. The older woman pulls away and kisses her forehead before descending again repeating her earlier teasing. Her kisses vear lower to the swell and back again. She knows in a moment like this having one of her gentle moments is not what would be expected but it’s who she is. And she knows it isn’t a turn off for Amanda though it does upset her at times like this when she is soaking and needs release. It is a whole 10 more minutes of those repeated menstrations before Olivia finally gives in and decides Amanda truly needs release. “Don’t take your eyes off me?” It isn’t a demand like usual, instead it’s a question. She has pushed the woman farther than she thought it was possible for her to go. The blonde squeeze her lover’s hand. Olivia didn’t let go but she manuveared so she was in between the woman’s legs. She kisses shivering thighs and pulls off the shorts and panties that are stuck to her from the juices. Brown eyes are locked with blue ones as she slowly licks through the soaked folds. Amanda’s moan is more high pitched than usually and her hips thrust forward. “Hey… Slow down.” Olivia wraps her left arm around Amanda’s leg to hold it down. “Olivia Margaret Benson if you prolo- oooh gooood - yes.” The woman bit and sucked at the throbbing nob. The swell of her lover’s tummy was not large enough yet to prevent their eye contact. Amanda let her head fall back, she hadn’t meant to but she couldn’t help it. Love and sex never really made a connection to Olivia like they did to everyone else. But there are times where she feels that her actions express more love than her words ever could. Not that this moment does. She can hear in Rollins moans that she is close. Olivia draws eights with her tongue between pulling the nub in her teeth and waits for Amanda to look at her before she sucks hard. The blonde is instantly trembling and Olivia moves so she can hold her. She kisses the woman’s cheek, head, chest, neck, and shoulder. The blonde trembling slightly still opens her eyes and sighs into the strong arms around her. Amanda turns and kisses the brunette pulling on the shirt. ‘Liv helps her and it falls on the floor. Amanda already naked having thrown her shirt off with the sports bra was hurting having being left over her boobs. The larger woman lays on her back pulling her lover to lay on her. Fingers ghost scars, it’s not something that she particularly likes but at times like these she acknowledges that the actions is loving. “Take your shorts off?” Olivia turns her head, “Amanda, that was for you. I’m fine.” "I know but it is my turn to feel you. And I mean, just feel you.” She understands. They have their nights. They have their moments. And this is one they share. Getting close to each other like this. Skin to skin. Breast to back. If that is how they sleep that is. It’s intimate without being intimate. She lifts her hips and slips out of her bottoms. Amanda lays back on her and sighs. “I love you Olivia Benson.” “I know.” The blonde falls asleep within minutes, Olivia’s hand running through her hair. “I love you both.” She mumbles before she closes her eyes and lets sleep take over, holding her soulmate.