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Of Desire and Denial

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Coming home from a week in the Hissing Wastes, Rhea Lavellan was a mixture of exhausted and sick of finding sand in unmentionable places. The first thing she did was soak in a warm bath and wash off all the dried blood and leftover sand she might have missed. The moment she stepped out of the bath, she thought about Blackwall. She missed him throughout the week and looked forward to seeing him again almost as much as her bath.

Approaching the barn, Rhea noticed that his back was facing her and he was staring deep into the miniature fire pit roaring away. She couldn't help but smile at the Griffon made of wood resting on his worktable. She moved on her toes toward him and gained his attention by wrapping her arms around his waist from behind him. Blackwall peeked over his shoulders at Rhea's goofy grin and smiled at her. Letting go momentarily, she nuzzled her way around and giggled as Blackwall's hand curved around her waist and pulled her in closer. Rhea lifted onto her tiptoes to meet his lips and sighed when he pulled her in for a kiss. When he pulled back, Rhea's eyes flickered open after savoring the moment.

"Want a drink? I've a hankering for company." Blackwall inquired and Rhea nodded with a simple smile. Taking her hand in his, Blackwall guided Rhea out of the barn and to the Herald's Rest. The two walked together, side by side up the staircase and through the mostly deserted courtyard. The only people to witness the Inquisitor and her Gray Warden lover roaming Skyhold together were a few soldiers stumbling drunk exiting the tavern. Upon reaching the Herald's Rest, Blackwall opened the door and allowed Rhea in before him. The two entered the empty tavern and sat at the bar. The bartender, Cabot, quickly served them some drinks before heading back into another room of the bar. Rhea sipped at her drink but set it down when she heard Blackwall sigh.

"You're brooding." Rhea declared, leaning back with her glass of ale and sipped at it. Her eyes searched his for an answer, but he avoided looking at her.

"I am not," Blackwall answered simply, but Rhea wasn't buying it.

"I like brooding." Rhea grinned and her fingers walked up to his arm as she leaned in close to him. She fluttered her lashes at him in the tiniest hint of seduction, hoping that she could elicit a blush out of him. However, Blackwall merely blinked at his lover with all seriousness.

"I was thinking about when we went to the ruin when we found the badge. Everything seemed clear then like I could do anything with you at my side. Anything. That's a hard word, you know? Means a lot." Blackwall mused and Rhea, so enamored by what he said, shifted in her seat and finished her drink in one go. At Blackwall's shock, she nudged him to do the same and he subsequently followed. Rhea slipped her hand into his and laced their fingers together.

"You mean a lot. Let's get out of here…" Rhea remarked and Blackwall rose from his seat. He didn't have to ask what she wanted; her eyes spoke volumes. The two left the tavern and headed back to the barn. Rhea bit down on her lip. She knew that she flirted so heavy-handed with Blackwall since day one and was fond of innuendos, but she never expected their first time to be so emotional. Within minutes, they arrived at the barn. Rhea wordlessly followed Blackwall up the stairs and up into the loft. Before anything could be said, the two were kissing and moving deeper into the loft. Blackwall suddenly pulled back from the embrace and when Rhea wanted to question what was bothering him, she felt something cool slip between his and her palms. Rhea glanced down to see the Warden badge before glancing back up to meet his eyes.

"You need to know that I'm not worthy of you. There's no future for us with me as a Warden." Blackwall whispered sadly, glancing down at the Warden badge resting between his and Rhea's hands. Rhea struggled with the right words that would convince him that what they wanted was possible, that they were possible. What he said at the tavern truly resonated with her and she refused to give up on her love for him.

"I'm here for you, no matter what comes." Rhea asserted, cupping the side of his face with one hand and the other tugged at his collar with an unhurried movement. Blackwall processed her declaration with some uncertainty but hovered closer into Rhea's space. She felt her breath hitch at the gleam in his grey eyes.

"Then, for now, let there be nothing else… no one else. Just you and me." Blackwall pulled Rhea into his chest and the two kissed brazenly, the taste of ale and hints of desire wavering on their tongues. Rhea relinquished any control she had the moments that Blackwall's lips caressed the underside of her neck. Needing to have his lips on hers, she pulled him back into her lips. Blackwall's coarse fingers slipped into Rhea's braided hair and tediously undid her braids until her golden tresses piled around her shoulders in soft, pleated waves. Rhea gasped slightly when the back of her knees bumped against the edge of Blackwall's bed, but that hardly stopped her from allowing herself to be laid down on it. Blackwall moved on top of her without breaking any contact between the two of them. Rhea moaned and grasped at his collar wantonly as Blackwall tugged at her shirt. He glanced up at that moment to meet Rhea's wild eyes to pose a silent question.

"Yes. Blackwall, please take me." Rhea whispered and that broke open Blackwall's restraint. He tugged away all of her clothes and discarded them alongside the bed. His rough, scarred hands moved with the most delicate of touches. Rhea lost herself in the sensations of his touches and his kisses. Her whimpers guided and beguiled Blackwall to elicit whatever response he could from her.

"I love you, Rhea…" Blackwall glanced down at the gorgeous, elven woman lying beneath him and how her smile glowed from the faint lighting of the fire reaching up into the loft. Seeing her filled him with warmth.

"I love you too..." Rhea replied as she worked his shirt off and carefully dropped it to the side, pulling him back in for another kiss. Blackwall and Rhea entered the night with the soft moans of passion and the release of each other driving them through the night and into the warm embrace of sleep.