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Like Lovers Do

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i see you watching me
eyes on your target
mix drinks and smoke rings
it’s already started
it won’t be too long before me and you
are doing what lovers do

Sixth day, sixth bar, sixth guy. Really, Whizzer found the numbers to be quite ironic. Three sixes. 666. Truthfully, though, the numbers felt so much higher than that.

Whizzer was bored. It was the same thing every week - always a different guy, but, really, did that even count when they all seemed the same anyway? The only differences were that some were out and some were closeted, some big and some small, some experienced and some very much not. The thing was, he’d been doing this for such a long time that he didn’t even notice the differences any more.

He felt a pair of eyes burning holes into the side of his head, from the far corner of the bar. He’d felt it for the past half hour, he was just waiting. At this point, though, it felt worthless, like he was wasting time. Whizzer let himself turn, now, brown eyes connecting with sharp, baby blue ones. There was something quite striking about the colour, he noted.

The blue eyed man in question was sat alone in a booth, and was seemingly shocked when Whizzer turned and met his gaze. Whizzer watched as the other’s eyes widened, and then the blue disappeared down to whatever the drink sat in front of him was.

Interesting.

Whizzer found himself slipping off the bar stool, abandoning his daiquiri in favor of something - someone - more compelling.

“Hi,” he greeted, as he sat in the booth seat across from the other man.

He watched the man jump, blue eyes snapping up from the drink. “Um–”

Whizzer smiled. “What’s your name?”

A pause. “Marvin.”

“Whizzer.”

“Whizzer. Can I buy you a drink?”

Suddenly, Whizzer wasn’t bored any more.

clothes on the floor
we’re exploring our bodies
getting you off is my new favourite hobby
lipstick on your neck brands like a tattoo
cause that’s just how lovers do

It was only supposed to be a one night stand. Whizzer’s rules were to not get attached. His rules were that he was supposed to stay alone. That it only ever got bad when things became anything more than a one night stand.

And, yet, here he was. Curled up at Marvin’s side, with his head on the shorter man’s chest. Marvin’s fingers were absently twirling around Whizzer’s hair, and his other hand was busy tracing shapes on his back. Whizzer shouldn’t have liked this. He shouldn’t have been here.

But he did. And he was.

He moved his eyes up to Marvin’s face, lingering for a moment at the marks he’d left on his neck. Whizzer couldn’t help but think about Marvin’s wife. His kid.

This was their fourth time. The fourth time Marvin watched him at the bar, the fourth time Whizzer approached him, the fourth time Marvin’s family was out of the house for the night.

“You’re staring.”

The comment made Whizzer smile. “Just admiring my work.”

Marvin hummed, his hand leaving Whizzer’s back in favour of one of the marks on his neck. “Are they dark?”

Whizzer nodded against the other’s bare chest. “Pretty dark. Just wear a collared shirt. Your wife won’t know.”

But Whizzer found himself wishing that Marvin’s wife would know. He found himself wishing that he and Marvin would become something more than just a four night stand.

oooh, love is just another four letter word
but that never stopped nobody
oooh, either way we lose
just like lovers, just like lovers do

“I got a divorce.”

It was Marvin who approached this time. Whizzer hadn’t even seen him come in. “Really?”

Marvin was smiling. “Really,” he repeated. He held his hand out to Whizzer, silently willing him to take it.

He did.

“Why?” Whizzer asked, trying to ignore that odd pit in the center of his chest. The odd, sharp, pang he felt from his heart.

“I love you, Whizzer.”

It felt too soon. It felt premature, like they didn’t know enough about each other to know that they loved each other. Marvin’s hand was still there, though, and his baby blue eyes were still locked on Whizzer’s brown ones.

He took Marvin’s hand without a second thought. No turning back now. Maybe he didn’t want to.

“I love you too.”

his and hers closets are perfect for skeletons
hiding resentment and shared infidelites
cheers to regret, wash it down with some booze
drinking like lovers do

It was late. After midnight. Technically, it was early. Whizzer didn’t care to get technical.

Marvin did.

“It’s three in the morning, Whizzer.”

Whizzer couldn’t help the roll of his eyes, pulling the door shut behind him, slipping his shoes off and shrugging off his coat. “Thanks, I couldn’t read the clock.”

Baby blue eyes glared at him. “Where were you?”

“Out.”

It was late. Early. Whatever. He was tired.

Whizzer didn’t care to explain. He shouldn’t even have to. Marvin didn’t need to know everything at every time.

“I worked today,” Marvin said. “You weren’t here to make dinner. Trina didn’t make dinner either. I had to eat by myself.”

“Oh, boo boo. I’m not your housewife,” Whizzer huffed. He tried to step past, to get to their bedroom. Marvin didn’t let him.

He felt oddly small in that moment, Marvin’s cold stare trained on him. He didn’t know why. Marvin had never hurt him, not physically. He never would.

“You smell like alcohol,” Marvin stated, his tone blank.

Whizzer shrugged, “I went out. To the bar. With some friends.”

Marvin scoffed. “Friends,” he said. He turned on his heel, shaking his head, and went into their bedroom.

Whizzer made the decision to sleep on the couch that night.

oooh, love is just another four letter word
but that never stopped nobody
oooh, either way we lose
just like lovers, just like lovers do

It was just supposed to be a friendly game of chess. It was to have fun, to pass time.

Whizzer had lost ten times in a row now. Marvin was treating him like he was dumb. Like he was stupid.

“Move the pawn.”

“Who?”

“Not the queen.”

The degrading tone in Marvin’s voice set Whizzer off. “Fine,” he huffed, resetting the board, ignoring Marvin’s eye roll. “Let me win.”

Marvin wasn’t listening. For once, it worked in Whizzer’s favor. “Yes, sir.”

Whizzer grinned, moving the chess piece across the board, laughing as he knocked Marvin’s off. “Ha! Whizzer wins.”

It was as if a tornado had struck through their apartment. In a huff, Marvin stood, knocking down his chair, flipping the chess table over, and storming out of the room. Whizzer was left sitting there in shock, the grin completely gone by now.

He turned, starting to get up from his own chair, before being met with a suitcase.

that’s how it goes
so take care like a grown up
life’s not a fairy tale, it’s hard to own up
hire a hitman to take care of you
and end it like lovers do

Sixth day, sixth bar, sixth guy. 666. It really was starting to feel like the Devil himself was after Whizzer. Maybe it wasn’t irony after all.

He laid in bed, oddly tired, watching as the other man put on his shoes and stood to leave. Whizzer didn’t remember this guy’s name. He didn’t remember any of their names. Names didn’t matter, he wasn’t going to see any of them again.

Nowadays, though, Whizzer often felt like he wasn’t going to see anyone again. Nowadays, Whizzer just wanted to lay alone in bed. Sleep, cry, stare at the ceiling. Not even screwing was nice any more.

He was tired. So tired. Sick, tired, and lonely. Sometimes, it felt like the loneliness was what was killing him. Other times, he swore the sickness was just a cold. Rarely, he wondered if he really was on the verge of dying. Most of the times, though, he knew that it all could have been made better if he and Marvin could have just talked things out rather than fought.

You never realize how much someone means to you until you lose them.

oooh, love is just another four letter word
but that never stopped nobody
oooh, either way we lose
just like lovers, just like lovers do

The baseball game was the best night of Whizzer’s life. Although it had been awkward, weird, strange, it was the thing to turn his life around.

He was back with Marvin. Back in their old apartment, back to sharing a bed. Better than ever.

Whizzer had changed. Marvin had changed. Life had changed.

He had learned to live life like it could end any moment. He had learned to love - he had learned what love really was - like he would lose his lover in the next few seconds.

They laid in bed together. Not sexual, but romantic. Loving. Caring. Safe. Whizzer was drifting in and out of consciousness. Marvin seemed to be wide awake.

Never once, in Whizzer’s forty-something years of living, had he felt so loved. Never once had he felt so warm, so safe, so cared for. And, never once had he ever loved, cared for, trusted someone as much as he trusted Marvin for the rest of his life.

Whizzer leaned up a bit, to plant a kiss on Marvin’s cheek, before finally letting sleep creep up on him and overtake, like it seemed to be doing more and more often recently.

i see you watching me
eyes on your target
mix drinks and smoke rings, it’s already started
let’s roll the dice and we’ll both make our moves
playing like lovers do

“You’re staring.”

Marvin chuckled a bit. Whizzer smiled.

It wasn’t often that they could laugh and smile. There wasn’t much to laugh and smile about in a hospital room, knowing that one of them was in the process of dying. Knowing that the other was bound to follow shortly after.

Love was such a game. You could never win, no matter what moves you made. No matter how happy you were, from the very start to the very end. You always lost.

It was a game that Whizzer was happy to have played. It was a game that, even as his eyes closed for the very last time, he was glad to have experienced.

He could only hope that Marvin felt the same way.