I don't normally write anything canon Xena because I prefer writing Alternate Universe stories but thought I should try something new for a change. I also don't write a lot of comedic stories either but here we are.
Thank you to my friend that helped me come up with this idea. You know who you are lol.
Raised By My Future
Xena knew this was a trap. This entire attack on Thessaly was a trap and she knew Ares was behind it all. He was always behind everything to do with violence and rage. He relished in the pain, agony, suffering, and most of all anger. Ares loved anger. It was like an aphrodisiac to him and Xena knew that he put on this big show just for her. He wanted her attention.
"Ares!" she yelled and unsheathed her sword. "I can smell you," she smirked.
The God of War appeared leaning on a tree with a big smirk on his face. "Xena, so glad you could make it. You're looking...well." his eyes scanned her body and didn't think she could look any more beautiful than before. She aged well, not like some of the other women in his life. Though, she was still young.
"Knock it off," she stepped closer to him, holding the sword in front of her with a frown on her lips. "Why are you attacking these people? They've done nothing to you."
He laughed loudly and reached out, touching her cheek softly. "I wanted to see you in action. It really gets my blood going, you know." He winked and she rolled her eyes.
She chuckled and pecked his chest with the edge of her blade. "Let me get this straight," she paused and stared into his dark eyes. "You started a meaningless war just so you could see me? Is that right?"
"It worked, didn't it?" he grinned mischievously and leaned down to kiss her lips.
Her eyes widened and she pushed him against the tree and held the sword against his neck. "You will never quit will you?"
He waft the sword away from his neck and grabbed her shoulder gruffly. "Never. You used to belong to me, Xena. We could rule the world together. We could rule Olympus!" he smiled and she stared into his wild eyes. "You give me a child and I give you the universe."
Xena scoffed and stepped away, sheathing her sword. She knew she couldn't really hurt Ares, but she wished she could. "I would never have a child with you, Ares. The thought of it makes me want to vomit."
He growled and grabbed her arm, pulling her close. "I need you, Xena. We are perfect together. We were before."
She lowered her eyes and felt his hand on the small of her back. "That was a long time ago, Ares. I will never go back to the way I was."
Gabrielle ran to the trees, breathing heavily. She saw Ares cuddling Xena and frowned heavily. Pulling out her Sais, she threw one directly at Ares and the God ducked. "Ares, of course. I should have known," she smirked.
Xena took a generous step backward from Ares and folded her arms. Gabrielle eyed her suspiciously, then Ares chuckled at the petite blonde. "You've got quite an arm now, Gabrielle. I am impressed."
"Call off your army, Ares. You have no business being in Thessaly," Gabrielle warned and he rolled his eyes.
Ares sighed heavily and smiled at Xena. "She really knows how to kill a party," he frowned then disappeared from the forest.
Gabrielle shook her head and sheathed her Sais in her boots. She looked over to Xena and saw that she was distant. Her eyes were filled with confusion, not anger. Normally Xena would be in an awful mood any time she saw Ares, but this time was different.
"Xena?" she grazed her fingers along the warrior's arm. "Are you alright? What did he say to you?"
Xena frowned and brushed by Gabrielle to oversee Ares' army, hoping that they would vacate the area. "Nothing that I haven't heard before."
She rubbed her chin and saw the army slowly retreating, which was odd. Ares had never been one to submit to anyone, especially a mortal, and even more so, to Gabrielle.
"Looks like the army is leaving," Gabrielle observed, standing beside Xena.
The warrior furrowed her eyebrows and nodded. "I know and that's what's strange." She walked out of the forest and watched the entire army retreating on foot and horseback. Meanwhile, the civilians were cheering, grateful that the army was vacating their villages and homes. Although, Ares' army had already destroyed so much in such a short time.
Later, Gabrielle rode on her horse, trotting beside Xena for a few miles in silence. She couldn't figure out what was bothering Xena for the life of her but she knew it had something to do with Ares. The God of War was a touchy subject for Xena and Gabrielle alike. He always had some way to anger Xena yet seduce her sometimes. There were times when Gabrielle thought that Ares would turn and help Xena, but he was never someone to keep promises.
"You've barely said a word since we left Thessaly. Is there something on your mind?" the bard asked.
Xena sighed heavily. "Ares always finds a way to get to me. He will stop at nothing to get my attention."
Gabrielle nodded. Now the truth comes out, she thought. "You're letting him to get to you, Xena. He has no power over you now, although sometimes I think you get some kind of enjoyment out of his antics," she chuckled under her breath.
Xena widened her eyes and halted Argo, glaring at her friend. "What makes you say that?"
"Well, it's just that you had feelings for him before. It's hard to get rid of those feelings, Xena. Not even you can deny that." Gabrielle felt herself being interrogated by Xena's steely gaze and avoided eye contact with her. She felt that she hit a nerve, but it was easy to do that if Ares was involved.
"I don't have feelings for Ares anymore," Xena frowned and trotted ahead of Gabrielle.
Ares transported himself into his temple and let out a loud cry up at the ceiling. He turned and blasted one of the marble columns, breaking it into a million pieces. He growled and unsheathed his sword and began smashing several statues and busts of himself gifted by his followers.
A light appeared in his temple and he swiftly spun around and saw his younger sister, Hebe, lounging on his throne. He scoffed and lowered his blade. "What are you doing here?" he spat.
Hebe twirled a curly strand of her dark hair around her finger and smiled at her irate brother. "You have such a bad temper, Ares. You should control yourself."
"What do you know?" he frowned and sheathed his sword.
She shrugged her shoulders and hopped out of his throne and began circling around the war god. She traced her fingers along his broad chest and he rolled his eyes. "What is troubling you now, brother? Did Hercules upset you again? Must be mother and her antics again. Or perhaps it is Aphrodite and her meddling in your wars?" she pried.
He grabbed her hand and plucked it off his chest and spun the petite goddess around. He looked into her sweet innocent face and shook his head. "No, it's someone else."
"Let me guess!" Hebe grinned with glee and tapped her cheek. "If it's not Hercules, mother or Aphrodite, then it must be someone really important to make you so angry!" she sighed and then snapped her fingers. "I know, it's a woman you love, isn't it?"
Ares plopped down on his throne and swung one leg over the armrest leisurely. "You have been hanging around Aphrodite too much. What are you doing here anyway? I don't need you popping in and out of my temple."
His younger sister smiled and knelt down in front of his throne. She batted her long eyelashes up at her brother sweetly. "Ares, when you are upset, it upsets me. You know that. I love –"
"Don't..." he lifted his finger, "say that word."
Hebe pursed her lips and sighed heavily. "Wow, you're deeply in love with this woman, aren't you?" she shook her head in disappointment. "Who is it?" she asked with a smug smile.
Ares was not interested in spilling his guts to his sister, but he knew if he didn't tell her she would keep fussing for an eternity. "Xena," he mumbled.
Hebe jumped to her feet and her eyes grew in shock. "Ares!" she placed her hands on her narrow small hips and raised her eyebrows. "You are in love with a mortal?!" she let out a loud screeching laugh and Ares buried his face in his hand, trying to hide his embarrassment.
"Don't you have some chariots to prepare for mother?" he mocked.
She grinned and hopped onto her brother's lap. "Oh Ares, I am surprised to hear this. You must really care for her. She is an interesting woman, for sure! Most of the Olympians despise her, yet you have a soft spot for her."
"Hebe, get out," he growled and shoved her off of his lap and she rolled onto the floor.
She huffed and rose to her feet, folding her arms. "Ares! I want to help you. Maybe help her fall in love with you, how does that sound?"
Ares chuckled. "Xena does not do well with Olympians. I do not want her love to come from a spell!"
She sighed and sat down on an invisible chair for a few silent moments. She then had a brilliant idea. Squealing in delight she ran to her brother and grasped his hand. "Oh Ares, I have the most perfect idea. I'm sure you will love it!"
"I don't want your help!" he shoved her away.
"Oh please, brother! I don't have to put a spell on her to make her love you. What if I could do something else? I owe you a favor for saving me from mother's wrath last century. Ares...come on," she wriggled her eyebrows and he grunted.
"Well," he smiled and rubbed his beard. "There might be something you can do for me, but I don't want any strings attached!" he warned.
"Oh, of course not, no." she smiled, agreeing to anything he said.
He transported to the other side of the temple, desperate to get away from his little sister. She was so sweet, yet she hung around him all the time. He couldn't figure out why she was so loyal to him. He folded his arms and smiled, thinking of Xena. She was perfect, too perfect, and perhaps that was her flaw.
"Xena was prime in her younger days. Now she has succumb to the good-doer lifestyle with...Gabrielle," he said with distain. "If I could go back and recapture her in her youth then I could make her mine forever."
Hebe grinned and ran over to her brother. "So you want to make her younger, huh?" she asked with a sly grin. "I could do that for you, brother."
He eyed her suspiciously. "No strings, Hebe."
"Right, yes." She nodded and circled around him playfully. "Consider it done, but I must warn you to be careful what you wish for, dear brother." She winked then disappeared from his temple.
Ares frowned and felt his sister was up to something, although Hebe, being the goddess of youth, never really bothered any of the other Olympians or meddled in mortals' lives either. He only felt suspicious of her gleeful disposition.
Aphrodite appeared in his hall of war and he rolled his eyes, running his hand across his face. "Ares!" she growled. "What do you think you're doing?!"
"Nothing that concerns you. Why don't you go back to...whatever it is that you do," he waved his hand dismissively.
She scoffed and crossed her arms. "If you wanted help to make Xena love you why didn't you call me?" she pouted, feeling a little bit insulted.
He sighed heavily and rose from his throne, marching to his sister. "Because you will just put her under a spell! I don't want Xena to be under a spell. I want her to love me naturally..."
"So you asked for Hebe's help?" she arched a brow and he laughed mockingly.
"You think you're so funny. Get out, Aphrodite. I have a lot of planning to do." His eyes lit up at the thought of seeing in her old ways again. He longed to see that fire in her again, that fire that she got rid of long ago. But not anymore.
She rolled her eyes. "You're going to regret this, bro." she was gone in a flash and he groaned lowly. Finally, she was gone, he thought.
Gabrielle was flapping her arms up and down, playing a game of charades with Xena. As she began her fourth charade she realized that Xena was really bad at this. Very bad, actually.
Xena's face contorted and her eyes widened. "A...bird?" she guessed.
Gabrielle half smiled and her arms dropped to her sides. "Oh right, Xena. Like I would be acting out a bird." She rolled her eyes.
"You aren't very good at this, you know," the warrior said.
The bard gasped and placed her hands on her hips. "ME? I'm not good at this? You've got to be kidding!" she scoffed and Xena half smiled, knowing that'd set the blonde off. "By the way, I was not a bird. I was Hermes."
"Hermes? You acted out Hermes?" Xena raised an eyebrow.
"Well, I was running out of ideas!" Gabrielle huffed and sat beside Xena by their small campfire. She began poking the fire with a long stick and playfully hit her knee against Xena's. "Are you alright? You're being really quiet."
Xena shrugged a shoulder and felt the bard's eyes focused on her from her peripheral vision. "It's Ares," she finally said.
The bard knew that was bothering Xena for some time now and was glad she admitted it. "You're letting him get to you again."
"Gabrielle. It's not that easy to let someone like that go," she said and sighed heavily. "He keeps asking me to be his stupid warrior queen and give him a child."
Gabrielle's eyes widened. "You said no, right?"
"Of course I said no!" the warrior spat, almost insulted that Gabrielle would even think that.
"Just making sure you weren't losing yourself," the bard smirked and Xena playfully nudged her arm. "I can't imagine you giving Ares a child."
Xena cringed, "Gabrielle. Don't go there. Just don't." she put up her hand and then lay down on the bed roll and sighed heavily, trying to focus on tomorrow. Tomorrow was a new day.
Gabrielle smiled and lay down beside Xena, staring at her backside. "Goodnight, Xena."
"Night, Gabrielle," she answered softly.
The youthful goddess, Hebe, appeared in front of the sleeping warrior and her bard. She smiled and knelt down beside Xena. Her face serene and unaware of what was to come.
"A deal is a deal," she whispered. She reached out and touched Xena's forehead and the warrior furrowed her eyebrows, stirring in her sleep. "Your youth will be restored by morning, sweet warrior princess," she giggled and then disappeared from the area.
She popped into Ares' hall of war as he sat at his desk, moving out chess pieces shaped in the men of Sparta and Athens. He flicked his finger and moved one of the Spartan soldiers, kicking the Athenian off the board. He grinned and groaned with delight seeing the Athenian killed from his playful game of chess.
"Playing a game with Athena again?" she spoke from behind him.
He waved his hand. "Not now, Hebe. Athena is about to make her move."
Though, Athena not present, she too was playing the game from her abode in Olympus. He watched the board carefully and clung to the table, leaning in close waiting for his sister's move. Slowly, an Athenian soldier moved a couple of steps forward, knocking out two of his men.
He slammed his fist on the table. "Damnit," he cursed beneath his breath.
Hebe sighed. "Ares..." her voice sweet and soft. He didn't bother to look at her and moved a chess piece across the board and bit his bottom lip as his soldier knocked out the 'queen' piece on the board.
He rose from his chair and threw his hands in the air. "Yes!" he yelled. "Victory is mine! Take that Athena!" he yelled and the chess board was flung across the room, not by him, but his sister in Olympus. He chuckled. "She was always a sore loser," he sighed, "Athens loses again. Wonder how her army is fairing now?" he scoffed.
"Ares!" her voice raised and he rolled his eyes.
"What do you want? You're spoiling my moment."
She smiled sweetly and bat her eyelashes. "I've completed the spell. Xena will be youthful again by morning."
He clapped his hands together and a devious grin appeared on his face. "A youthful Xena. A Xena filled with that fire that has been missing. That fire I long..." he clenched his fist and realized his sister still present and shot her a glare. "Do you mind?" he hissed.
"Do I get a thank you?" she folded her arms.
"Yeah, yeah. Thanks," he mumbled. "Now leave me to bask in the glory," he grinned and she sighed then left the hall of war. "You will be mine again, Xena."
The sun rose and Gabrielle groaned, slowly waking up. She expected Xena to wake her up like she normally did since she was up at the crack of dawn. But not today apparently. Xena had been merciful. She rose from the bed roll, stretching her arms over her head and yawned.
She looked over and saw Xena was still asleep, wrapped in a blanket. Raising an eyebrow she nudged her arm. "Xena," she said but the warrior only stirred and then rolled over onto her stomach. "Is she serious?" she muttered.
Gabrielle stood and began rolling up the mat. "It's not like you to sleep in, Xena. I know that Ares really riled you up but that's no excuse to sleep in. Come on." She grinned and saw Xena did not awake. Tossing the bed roll aside she frowned.
"This isn't funny anymore, Xena. Come on, wake up!" she knelt down and nudged her again and heard a soft moan and the warrior pulled the blanket over her head. "Xena? What's the matter with you?!"
Xena groaned and then rose from the bed roll giving Gabrielle a horrible glare. "Why are you interrupting my sleep?" she growled.
The bard's eyes widened and her jaw dropped as she lay eyes upon the warrior, except it wasn't Xena, at least, not the Xena she knew. The once tall and fierce woman that Gabrielle knew was gone. Her eyes roamed and saw the leather bodice that Xena wore had become loose and ill fitting her exceptionally smaller frame.
Xena was not a woman anymore. She was a teenager.
"You..." Gabrielle began and the young Xena kept glaring at her. "You...by the gods," she stood and placed her hand over her mouth. "What's happened to you?!"
Xena grumbled and the leather strap fell off her shoulder. She looked down and saw she was wearing a short leather outfit, though it didn't fit anywhere. "What is this?" she muttered and flung the blanket off and her eyes widened at the boots she wore that didn't fit either. She suddenly felt so exposed and wrapped her lanky arms around her body.
"Why am I wearing this?" she asked and Gabrielle stood in shock. Her eyes lifted to the blonde and frowned. "Who are you?"