I looked fucking hot today. My button up was perfectly pressed, my pants perfectly fitting on my waist. I looked very handsome and manly today. And then, all my bright confidence shattered like a light bulb slamming against the floor as my mother called for Sora. No matter how much I protested against her, she'd never realize that Sora died long ago.
It's stupid, at this point, to expect that Mama would call for Kihyun, call for me. I truly don't know why I'm expecting her to tell Kihyun to hurry up, or he'll miss the bus. Every school morning, it's the same speech. "Yoo Sora, get your ass down here and hurry before you miss your damn bus." It was almost my late alarm. In her eyes, Kihyun didn't exist. Sora would never be on time for school again. Kihyun would be though.
"I'm coming!" I yelled down the stairs as I sprayed on some cologne of mine.
As soon as I reached the bottom of the stairs, Mama scoffed at me. "Get to the bus stop, Sora." That was the famous scoff of disgust. The disgust with me dressing the way I want. At least I wasn't dressed heavily in gothic or emo attire. I only had a nice hair cut and a button down.
I bit my lip, standing the front door awkwardly. "Have a good day, Mama." I faked a smile and left my house. Other than to hurry me out of the house, my mother never talked to me. I should've been taking care of myself for how alone I was. I walked to the bus stop, throwing my earbuds in, drowning out the world.
As the bus pulled up, I instantly regretted getting out of bed. I forgot how awful the other citizens that took this bus were. Every day I went to work, I always looked a little bit more feminine than I normally would like to. And those people never let me forget it. I showed my bus pass to the driver before looking at who was on the bus. "If I sit behind you, will you be able to see me in a quick glance?" I asked the driver.
She shrugged me off. "Maybe, but I don't quickly glance often." It wasn't in a rude way, just more of a rushed answer. I decided to sit in the middle of the bus. The bus patrons began filling up as we made a second stop on the way to school. And with that, more men glared at me as they filled seats around me. I set my bag next to me to fill the seat next to me.
"Excuse me," a guy said, approaching me. "Is this seat taken?"
I looked at him, then at my bag, then back at him. "It's taken by my bag." The man picked my bag up and moved it to the floor. "That wasn't your invitation..." I mumbled, soon becoming too anxious to retort.
I had about half an hour before getting to school. I just tried to ignore my new bus partner as he began pushing me closer to the window. I froze up as his hand rested non-chalantly on my thigh. "I love the Ruby Rose look... Gets me going." I shook my head, trying to ignore him.
Me not saying anything urged him more. I dug my nails into his wrist, causing his hand to seize up. "Get your fucking hands off of me, you bastard."
He scoffed, setting his hand that I was attached to in his lap. My throat ran dry and fear courses through my veins. "Then fix this," he said, ripping his hand from my nails.
"Next stop: Northview High."
I was getting up before the bus ever stopped. The man grabbed my waist. "And honestly, you can't hide your body under those clothes." The bus lurched to a stop, which set me down in that man's lap. I got up immediately, not leaving room to be grabbed.
I turned to the driver as I left. "Glance back more often, goddamn it." I hurried to get off the bus, running to the entrance of my school. I went straight to the office. I had to take care of some things. "Hey, I just wanted to know is my name is changed on the roster?" I asked the lady at the front desk.
"What is it supposed to be changed to?" She asked, grabbing a senior homeroom roster.
I smiled softly. "It's getting changed from Yoo Sora to Yoo Kihyun." I watched as she wrote it down.
"It should be changed within a month, just go up to your teachers before class and tell them your name." I smiled and bowed slightly to her as I left the office.
I went along to my first class, AP Biology. Chae Hyunja was the teacher's name. That name was familiar. As I entered the classroom, my hopes of a better day were shattered. I timidly started walking toward the teacher. "Uhm... H-Hi," I said catching the attention of the teacher.
"Sora!" She smiled. "Oh, how are you?"
I smiled softly, nervous to talk to her. "Uhm... Well. On the roster, my name says Sora, but I want you to call me Kihyun. If that's not too much trouble. Oh, and uhm... Use masculine pronouns?" Of course it shouldn't be too much trouble. It was a simple thing to do.
She went to say something but was distracted by an email. I sighed, sitting in the back of the classroom. How did I know Mrs. Chae? My mother's best friend. My aunt. I immediately wanted to change teachers or drop the course. I didn't need this class anyway.
The bell rang and Mrs. Chae closed the door. "Good morning class, welcome to AP Biology. I'm going to go through and take attendance then get started on the syllabus." My anxiety engines revved up. "Boo Ara? Present, okay. Chwe Hansol?"
A guy with long curly hair raised his hand and spoke up. "Vernon," he corrected.
"Ah, yes of course," Mrs. Chae smiled. She ran through to Kim until she heard another correction. Another Hansol, this one named Minsung instead. I was pretty convinced that she'd have my back. "Alright, Yoo Ki?" I was so happy before I realized there was someone whose name was Ki. "Last but not least, my favorite niece, Yoo Sora?" My heart dropped immediately.
I cleared my throat, slowly raising my hand. "Uhm, it's Kihyun?" Everyone turned to look at me.
She pretended to not hear me. "Hey, Sora!" She sent in her attendance and began pass out her syllabus. I shook my head, grabbing my backpack. "Fuck this," I said, rushing by her.
Mrs. Chae frowned. "Where are you going?"
I glared at her as I came to the door. "My counselor," I said, beginning to walk out.
"You need a pass, Sora." She said, rolling her eyes.
I dipped back in for a second just to yell at her. "It's Kihyun. Fuck you," I slammed the door, heading down to the counselor's office.