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A Star in My Universe

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“Love is so short, forgetting is so long.”
Pablo Neruda, Love

Chapter One:

“Sesshomaru, there’s something I’ve been wanting to tell you—“ 

“What do you think of Kagura, Rin?’ He interrupted while he watched the demoness roam the hallways with her radiant smile and greeting the others with a wave or wink.

“I didn’t know dimwitted girls were your type” I answered while leaning against the locker next to Sesshomaru.

“Kagura is not like that she’s different Rin” Sesshomaru answered, I looked at him before ripping my locker door open.

Not bothering to give Sesshomaru a warning I was annoyed by that comment and I  didn’t know exactly why. Sesshomaru and I have been best friends since we were kids and stood by each other side when things got rough. He was my rock when my sister, Kagome, became very ill and we didn’t have the funds for a doctor. He was so generous that he paid for her hospital bills and treatment. I was his foundation when he was going off by the reins during his parents divorce, when his father got remarried and revealed he secretly had a love child around our age. We  helped each other through dark times and only grew closer in time. There were times I wondered why we were friends, we were from different worlds with different ambitions in mind. Waiting for the homeroom bell to ring, I secretly stole a glance at Sesshomaru who was too busy watching the stubby eighth grader roaming the halls in her hippie look. I rolled my eyes at the tree hugging air head, she was not right for Sesshomaru. She was stupid and that was just an understatement; one time Kagura didn’t know where the bathroom was and there was a sign of a girl on the door. I remember I literally had to walk her to the bathroom just so she wouldn’t go to the boys. I don’t understand what Sesshomaru sees in her, if anything I figured he wouldn’t be interested in anyone until marriage like myself. 

“She’s also an airhead with a great smile and can’t tell the difference between a haiku and a limerick” I added,

“No one else can Rin, you’re the like smartest girl in school so of course you could distinguish between the two” Sesshomaru replied

“Obviously but I always thought you would like a girl with an actual brain in her head instead of air; my Kami Sesshomaru I thought you had higher standards—“

“Rin, what has gotten into you?” Sesshomaru questioned “Why are you acting weird?”

His eyes were trained on me waiting for an answer; but I kept my eyes on Sesshomaru not afraid to challenge him. I was the only one who didn’t feel scared by his presence or felt like he could crush my existence. I simply would tell him point blank if he was doing something wrong or how I felt because to me there were no secrets between us. Yet, I  didn’t understand why I was getting worked up on Sesshomaru’s taste in women, he was known to be a player with no standards but whenever I  am around he would developed common sense. Looking down I  felt like a complete idiot for pulling that ac,t he was free to be interested in whomever he wanted so why did it bother me?

‘You just care about your best friend’s wellbeing’ I thought, I looked at him and thought back to the time we first met:

“Morning class, today we have two new students” The teacher announced.

I was quite excited to see who these new kids were, I was pretty much the welcoming committee when it comes to new kids. I looked over to Kagome and Sango, who could tell I was thrilled, they were curious to see.

“I wonder if they are ugly” Sango whispered, I giggled from her comment.

Sango never really liked boys because she thought they were stupid and a complete waste of time and normally I would agree with her. But my opinions suddenly changed when He walked in the class room. The teacher introduced him but he seemed so distant about it; the loud beating from my chest filled my ears. My palms grew sweaty and there were goosebumps all over my body. A cold shiver went down my spine causing my back to straighten. I didn’t pay too much attention to the other kid, Inuyasha but I noticed some similarities between the two.

‘Could they be related?’ I thought.

“Sesshomaru sit next to Rin” the teacher instructed, I was eternally grateful that we had name tags on our desk. My body was made of jelly that felt too heavy to move.

“Hi there, I’m Rin” I introduced, this was the first time I have been strongly bold to someone let alone a boy. My cheeks were suddenly hot and my tongue was dry but I did my best to not be awkward. Which was hard since I had a boy hair cut, metal wire filled my mouth and thick glasses with tape to hold the middle because some kids broke it to ‘complete my look’. 

“Go away” was all he said in a deep voice, it would make anyone run for the hills but simply smiled and shared my book with him. I could feel his eyes burning through my neck so I turned my head only to have them burn through mine. 

“I hope you like it here Sesshomaru” I replied, admiring his features; pure silky white as snow hair, pointy nose and sharp elf-like ears. I felt myself exhaling a lot of air out of me as my eyes traced his blue crest moon on his forehead and magenta stripes on each cheek of his face. 

‘Beautiful’ I thought.

“What is that?” I blurted out

“What is what?” He asked, I was still in a trance but drew circles around his face gesturing his marks. 

‘Even his skin is soft’ I thought, he looked surprised that I touched him but I was too enticed to care. 

“On your face, the purple stripes on your cheeks and crescent moon on your forehead” I asked again.

“I’m a full fledged demon” he answered, I was amazed that I was sitting next to a full-fledged demon what ever that means.

“Cool, is that like a club or something?” I asked I was pretty interested about it.

“No, it just runs in my family” he told me but I was too busy piecing the information together that I realized something.

“If it runs in your family then why doesn’t Inuyasha have them?” I asked

“How did you even know” He asked, his facial expression stayed the same but his eyes gave him away.

“You guys have the same hair color, eye color but the only difference is that Inuyasha’s eyes are a shade lighter than yours; you act pretty distant when he’s near you, so you must be the oldest and you flinch well your eyes darken when I mentioned his name” I answered “Plus you guys have the same last name, so its pretty much common sense” 

He chuckled so softly I couldn’t help but smile too, I felt like I did something pretty good.

“You truly are something special Rin” Sesshomaru stated before looking at the bored to follow the teacher. The smile I had on my face stayed the entire day, no one could ruin my day. I was in a good mood, even my heart skipped a beat and it was at that moment I knew I was going to be friends with Sesshomaru Takahashi.

 Snapping out of my trip down memory lane. I watched as that little kid transformed himself into the man right in front of me. I watched as his eyes darken and lighten up as he continued tto search for something in my eyes. I kept staring at him for some reason my eyes could not look away, I just wanted to look at him all day. 

“I’m sorry, I just want you to date a girl who is actually worthy of you. I hate seeing you be with girl’s that don’t deserve you” I explained, Sesshomaru lifted my chin up watching my messy bun come undone and letting a few pieces fall from my  hair to my  face. I  watched as his eyes sparkle—something I never knew—with excitement.

‘How come I never knew your eyes did that’ I  thought as I  felt his eyes reaching inside my soul.

“Sesshomaru?” He snapped out of his thoughts and looked at me in a platonic way, it’s  the same look I’ve grown accustomed to over the years. 

“Rin you’re—“but he couldn’t finish his thought. 

The whiff of nature filled his nose making him forget entirely what he wanted to say. Turning around he saw Kagura right behind him with a nervous look on her face and a crooked smile resting on her lips. I  wanted to melt from the sight of Kagura, I felt his hands drop from my face. Part of me wanted to ask him not to remove his hands but it wouldn’t mean anything. His attention was to his ‘dream girl’ the way he kept starting at her made me feel so inadequate. If he was like a normal kid then you would practically hear his heart pounding but he just stared at her.

“Hey Sesshomaru” Kagura smiled at him while brushing a piece of hair away from her face. 

I watched the girl fix her floral headband and looked at Sesshomaru with those unique red eyes. The more I stared at Kagura the bigger that black hole grew in my stomach; I didn’t understand why I  felt animosity towards the girl it didn’t bothered me that he was talking to her but it bothered me how he was giving her his time.  

“Kagura” Sesshomaru spat out.

Kagura giggled at him and rubbed her arm in a nervous manner.

“I was wondering if you don’t have plans tonight—no wait you probably do, but if you don’t have a date to Miroku’s party tonight with me?” She asked.

“ok” Sesshomaru answered while playing with his snow hair.

“And that’s my cue to leave” I slammed her locker shut once the bell rang and headed to class.

‘Stupid Kagura and her perfect skin and crooked smile with her perfect teeth and carefree attitude’ I thought as I held my books tight to my body fearing it would all fall apart.

“Rin, wait up!” Sesshomaru yelled, I wanted to keep walking and ignore my best friend who agreed to on a date with that airhead. 

Stopping at the corner I cling to my books even tighter as a life raft, not ready to tell Sesshomaru why I walked off so fast without waiting for him. I fixed her wired glasses with tape in the middle and tried not to seem like an even bigger nerd. As I waited for Sesshomaru I looked at the school’s mirror that is above the water fountain and quickly closed my eyes after seeing my reflection.

‘Why do i care about my appearance’ I thought.

 I knew I didn’t have a perfect smile the braces made sure of it, and my eye sight wasn’t the best because of the glasses. I never fully had time to do my hair so I kept it in one braid because I was too busy making straight A’s and being the perfect daughter.

“Why did you run off?” Sesshomaru asked

“I didn’t want to get in the way of your plans with Miss Popular” I answered sourly, I felt so childish but I just hated Kagura for some reason.

“Don’t be that way Rin”

“Sesshomaru you’ve been in love with that girl since first grade” Rin whispered when he didn’t say anything I knew I had to put the point in. 

“I just didn’t want you to miss your chance with her” I added

“Well too late for that,” He answered

“What do you mean?”

“I told her that I was taking you instead” Sesshomaru replied “I couldn’t let my best friend miss  Miroku’s party” 

I giggled at Sesshomaru and suddenly all of my insecurities vanish into thin air—like magic. I suddenly wanted to jump into his arms and hug him for thinking of me. I wished I stayed a little longer to see Kagura’s face when he told her that he was taking me instead of her. I felt victorious, like I won the grand prize. 

“So I’ll pick you up at eight,  dress to impress” Sesshomaru told me before ushering me to my Honor’s English Comp.

-o-

“I have nothing to wear!” I yelled  mentally cursed myself for going the conservative route.

“Rin?” Kagome called from the other side of the door. I ripped the door open, Kagome watched as I  fret and mumble how I  have nothing to wear to the party.

“What’s going on?” Kagome asked

“Sesshomaru asked me to go to Miroku’s party with him tonight and I have nothing to wear and he’s going to be here in an hour” I explained rather quickly. 

I never went to a party with him before and never bother attending one either. My head was spinning and my gut was filled with so many butterflies I  thought I was re-taste my lunch from today. 

“I make nonstop A’s and can answer any math equations but I can’t pick a freaking outfit for an eighth grade party” I frantically, I kept throwing all my clothes on the floor but would look on the floor at the same time in case the outfit was  considered decent to wear. I didn’t care that Kagome was still standing by the doorway watching me lose it, it was nerve wracking and her still doing nothing was making me dap my armpits nonstop with a towel.

“Could it be that you’re going with Sesshomaru?” Kagome questioned

“Kagome I just said he was taking me to a party, learn to listen” 

“No Rin, I meant could it be that you’re going with a guy you like?”

I stopped rummaging through my floor to look at my older sister, I shook my head from her statement. 

‘Not this again’ I thought.

For some odd reason, Kagome has this idiotic notion that I am in love with Sesshomaru. I kept telling her that he is nothing but my best friend and brother, I could never see Sesshomaru that kind of way. I wondered why she thought that, then it clicked; why Kagome had the slightest idea for me  ‘losing my mind’. Kagome believed that I  was finally going to a public event with the "love of my life”, Sesshomaru.  I kept telling her nonstop I don’t have feelings for Sesshomaru we were only friends but for some odd reason Kagome believed I  was in love with Sesshomaru but would never admit it to myself. I remembered when she tried to reason with me making me admit something that wasn’t true  but I just pushed her away and pretended Kagome said nothing. It was annoying then and it is annoying now how she constantly thinks when I lose my shit it is because of Sesshomaru.

‘No Kagome, I’m losing my shit because I don’t want to look like shit’ I thought but I rolled my eyes.

“Rin I know you’re not the most expressive person in the world but—“

“Oh Kami not this again” I muttered “I don’t love Sesshomaru, I just don’t want to look like an idiot” 

Kagome ran into her room but before I could get a world out she came back with her  emergency heartbeat  black and navy blue backless dress with the black stilettos 

“I was saving this dress in case I wanted to dump a guy but since that day never came; I figured you could use this dress” Kagome handed her the dress and heels.

I  stared at the dress then Kagome and hugged her tightly.

“Thank you” I whispered before running into the bathroom.

-o-

“How do I look?” 

I  stepped out of the bathroom with the dress on my body and heels on her feet. I put my hair in a long braid that rested on her shoulder. My  eyes had shimmery purple eye shadow and lips were tainted with a soft red lip stick. Kagome stared at me amazed how quickly I got dressed.

“You’re stunning Rin” Kagome answered, I smiled at her comment and looked at the mirror to see my reflection. I  didn’t really believe Kagome but it was nice to feel admired even if it were only for a night. I knew I  wasn’t stunning, my braces kept smearing the lipstick and my glasses covered majority of the makeup. Also the dress felt mildly uncomfortable on my skin, I felt like it was clinging all the wrong places making me feel like I’m having a panic attack. Yet, I was simply the same Rin but in a dress and heels. 

“I barely don’t even recognize the girl in the mirror” I whispered, 

“Rin, Sesshomaru is here” Keade called out. I smiled and made my way downstairs.

Descending down the staircase I felt my throat closing up; I could feel the butterflies fluttering inside my from the thought of going to a party. The idea scared me out of my mind that I  would be attending it with my best friend. Reaching the bottom stairs I looked at Sesshomaru who was busy talking to Keade who was talking about how she has a business trip in New York tomorrow. I stopped on the last step and cleared my throat to gain both party’s attention.

“Well, how do I look?” I asked, Sesshomaru turned away from Keade to look at me. I was nervous when Sesshomaru kept staring at me, I did not understand why though. I suddenly felt self conscious that I looked ugly and maybe that’s why he was looking at me for so long.

‘He would never tell me that’ I thought  I  knew he would tell me that I looked adequate or presentable. Never once have I heard Sesshomaru truly compliment me  but I secretly hoped tonight would be different but I didn’t dwell on it. 

“Look at my daughter, a beautiful princess” I  heard Keade say proudly.

“Rin you look amazing” Sesshomaru answered, I was stunned by his comment. I  knew Sesshomaru to be a man of a few words but I didn’t expect the word ‘amazing’ to be in his vocabulary. I marveled in his words, I wanted to float on a cloud feeling so elated that he thought I looked amazing.

“You too get in close I want to remember this moment until I die” Keade stated.

“Mom please, I don’t think Sesshomaru—“

“It’s fine Rin” Sesshomaru interrupted as he pulled me in close to his arms. I felt my cheeks getting red being this close to him. His scent smelled so intoxicating, I kept smelling him quietly. He felt so soft I wanted to melt even more into him.

‘He still feels like silk’ I thought.

I  could feel his eyes on me but I was too busy smiling at the camera. Something felt different I  couldn’t put my finger on it, but I knew deep down I  wanted Sesshomaru to hold me tight in his arms and never let me go.

‘He’s your best friend, he’s like a brother to you’ I thought, driving all weird thoughts of her best friend out of my head. But I couldn’t help myself, my body felt awkward around him and his eyes were practically glued on me making my cheeks grow even redder. I figured something was going on inside his head but I stayed quiet hoping that  the moment would continue a little longer.

“Sesshomaru you can let go now” I whispered “ The picture is over”

‘I wish it didn’t have to end’ I thought. I wanted to make the moment linger a little longer but I decided against it.

“Sorry about that” Sesshomaru muttered before releasing her.

I ignored him and headed outside waiting for him to follow. Miroku’s place wasn’t too far from mine, it was actually two blocks away so there was no need in asking for a ride from Keade; plus I wanted to enjoy the little time with Sesshomaru before he is grabbed by the popular crowd. I knew I didn’t belong in Shikon but with  Keade’s job located here it wasn’t like I  had a choice but to move there. The people here were so wild and carefree but they had a tinge of freedom attached to it; Kagome fit in perfectly to the town but I stuck out like a sore thumb. I was too busy trying to get the best grades and making sure I am the perfect daughter that I  ended up being labeled as “Stuck-up”.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Sesshomaru asked, I  looked up to Sesshomaru and smiled.

“Are you always this observant of me’ I thought.

“Just thinking about how much I stick out like a sore thumb in this town” I  answered, I  laughed at the thought but I just wanted to fool Sesshomaru. I  didn’t want him to figure out how insecure I feels in this town.

“I just feel like this town is too good for me you know?” I added, Sesshomaru didn’t say anything for a while, which made me feel like I said something stupid. I knew Sesshomaru wasn’t too keen on talking but when he did speak it would always be brief and concise. I rubbed my shoulders feeling the cold wind blowing through the thin fabric of this dress. I felt something warm over my shoulders when I finally looked up, Sesshomaru wrapped his jacket around my shoulders and left his hands there for a second longer. 

“I think you’re the one that too good for this town Rin” Sesshomaru answered before ushering me to walk in front of him to Miroku’s front door.  I  felt myself blush from that comment, this was the second time he’s complimented me and I  just did not know how to handle it. I buried my nose in his jacket, bathing in his scent hoping it would linger. It was moments like this that made me realize why we are friends to begin with and also make me want to enjoy his company even longer.

‘You always know just want to say’ I looked at him for another second before facing the door that contained the night i would have fun. 

  As Sesshomaru opened the door music was blaring loud that it could be heard the next town over, the lights flashed different colors every minute. I felt my heart pounded, and my hands began to feel clammy against the fabric of the dress. I began to rock back and forth, tapping my feet impatiently ion the concrete step as the music filled my ears. The idea watching everyone laugh and dance was made me want to hurl, and my heart was still threatening to burst forth from my ribcage. Yet at the same time I anticipated to  have fun and finally fit in and be at a party with my best friend. I knew at any moment Sesshomaru will disappear in the crowd and I won’t see him until the end of the party, if I plan to  stay that long. I hoped it wouldn’t be too late, I had to tell him something important and my time was running out.

“Sesshomaru, wait I have something to tell you” I called out but Miroku walked to his door to pull Sesshomaru in before I could even get a word out.

“And who might you be?” Miroku asked closing the door slightly preventing me from entering. I  never really liked Miroku, he was too perverted for my tastes; he never looked my way but tonight was an exception. He caressed my hand, I tried to snatch it back but he simply held my hand even tighter.

“Rin” I answered, I looked up to find a shocked Miroku staring at me.

“Stuck up Rin, you dress up quite nicely” He answered allowing me entrance to his ‘legnedary parties'. I gave Miroku a meek smile holding in the fact that he just insulted me before I stepped inside. 

“Yo Guys it’s Stuck Up Rin” Miroku announced, I  felt embarrassed from the announcement and tried to find the nearest corner to hide but it was impossible because every corner was filled with judging eyes that lived in Shikon. I wanted to desperately hide, it hasn’t even been five minutes and already I wanted to leave.

‘Sesshomaru took his time to brought me here, i should at least try to enjoy’ I thought.

I really didn’t want to be recognized and get more drama as to why I am here at this party. I watched as bodies were practically top of each other in the mansion, I could feel the heat coming towards me. Someone  pulled me to the dance floor making me dance with them, I was confused and intrigued. I started moving to the rhythm having fun, I laughed and danced until my feet were getting sore, so many males tried asking me to dance with them but I kindly turned them down and told them I wanted to have fun alone tonight. After another two hours of dancing I  decided to go to the bathroom and wait it out for an hour so I  could find Sesshomaru to talk to him. 

“Excuse me do you know where I can find the bathroom?” I tapped a girl’s shoulder only to find it to be one of Kagura’s loyal follower’s.

“It’s two doors down and the last door to the left” She answered before going back to her conversation with her friends.

“Thanks” I whispered but the girl wasn’t listening anymore. Following the directions I walked over to the last door I noticed that it quiet around this area and all the door handles had socks on them.

“What’s going on?” I whispered, arriving to the last door to the left I knocked it at first and opened it. 

“Oh Sesshomaru you’re such a good kisser” Kagura moaned.

“ Kagura” He whispered

“What is it Sesshomaru?” 

“Be my girlfriend” He told her.

“Yes Sesshomaru I will be”

I slammed the door and ran to the nearest exit. I didn’t understand why I felt so heartbroken from that scene.  Maybe it was the fact that Sesshomaru ditched me to ask Kagura to be his girlfriend, but I knew I didn’t have any feelings for Sesshomaru. He is my best friend, the brother I never had. I could never see him romantically.  

‘I didn’t care if he asked Kagura to be his girlfriend’ I thought but I knew I was only lying to myself. I cared that if those two started going out, i will lose the only friend I have in school; Kagome was too busy with Sango and I was too busy to notice. Sesshomaru gave me company without actually ever being present. It was the idea that I could always lean on him that gave me courage to turn the other cheek when kids would make fun of me or pick on me. Running back home I felt so empty inside that I couldn’t spare the thought of what happened.

“Rin you’re back early” Keade stated

“The party just wasn’t for me, I guess” I lied I headed up stairs but Keade stopped me.

“Could you get your sister from that party, we have an early morning” Keade asked, I smiled at Kaede but I didn’t want to go back to that hell hole but tomorrow was big day. Dropping Sesshomaru’s jacket on the floor I took a deep breath and mustered my strength. I was positive I was going to see the new couple but I didn’t really wanted to acknowledge them. I wanted to live in the lie a little longer that he didn’t ask her and that I’d still have my best friend.

“Sure” I  answered before heading back.

Dragging my  feet back to Miroku’s party I  silently prayed that I  could sneak in the party and grab Kagome. I  didn’t understand why I had to get Kagome, she was more than capable to handle herself. Rolling my eyes I slipped into the party and tried to locate my sister. The sea of people gathered in the living room in a huge circle, someone was in the middle of them. I grew curious what was going on, walking over I saw Kagura and some guy dance.

‘Weird, I never knew she could dance’ I thought I wanted to look away but it was like a car accident. I  couldn’t peel her eyes away from Kagura whose body was practically glued to that stranger. 

‘Where’s Sesshomaru?” I thought

“I still can’t believe he brought stuck up Rin” 

“Yeah, like when will he learn that she’s boring” 

“More like pathetic”

“well he did stayed friends with her out of pity” 

My lips twisted slightly as I heard the confessions of my fellow classmates, I  bit the inside of my cheek and pinched my sides preventing the tears from forming.  I always knew the kids at school didn’t like me and found me to be weird but I didn’t think they despised me that much. I could not let them see me down, to them I was the weird yet perfect “Stuck-Up” Rin. Finally released from my cemented position, I  tried to locate my sister. I checked every room and location but Kagome was no where to be found.

‘She probably went home’ I thought but I decided to keep checking just in case.

“Excuse me, have you seen Kagome?” I asked

“She went home like thirty minutes ago” the partygoer replied, I thanked the girl and decided to leave. 

“That ningen isn’t worth my time, like I told you I’ve only been friends with her out of pity” I  heard

‘That sounds like Sesshomaru’ I thought

I  decided to follow the voice, only to find  Sesshomaru talking to Inuyasha, his half brother and Miroku. I  watched as he was surrounded by his followers making cracks about me, I  always knew I  wasn’t the coolest person in school; but for my best friend to feel the same shook me to the core. I  cleared my throat gaining the attention of everyone including the boy whom I thought was my best friend. 

“I can’t believe you actually came thinking I wanted you to come; God, you’re just as dumb as I thought” He laughed as he came centimeters close to me, everyone started to laugh and point at me making me feel so small. My  face grew red as Sesshomaru continued to embarrass me, I felt the music stop and all eyes were suddenly on me again. Only this time it was to join Sesshomaru in his laughter, I tried to hold my tears I could not let them see me break.

“Sesshomaru that’s enough” I heard Miroku state but he growled at the host and continued to circle around me.

“Never  in a billion years would I associate myself  with someone as fat and ugly as you even if I were drunk” He yelled loud enough for the world to hear. 

“Sesshomaru” Inuyasha warned.

“So that’s how you really feel?” I asked, I chuckled lightly while shaking her head.

‘I’m such an idiot’ 

“Well you never have to worry about us being friends” 

I couldn’t take the humiliation anymore I walked out the door without looking back or expecting Sesshomaru to follow me. I didn’t need an explanation or an apology I simply wanted to walk home and never look back. I decided to stop for a second to allow the emotions that was rumbling inside my body to figure out what they wanted to do first. Taking a deep breath I came to my sense and swallowed everything inside of me. I  knew I shouldn’t have come and I  was a fool to think tonight would be the night I could be different.

“I guess I am too good for this town” I whispered as I walked inside. 

Chapter Text

“You can cut all the flowers but you cannot keep Spring from coming.” 

Pablo Neruda

Chapter Two:


 

Three Years Later…

 

The sun creeps into my window, placing its hand on my foot slowly rubbing upwards leaving a small prints of its rays on my skin. It felt weird but I would have rare occurrences when I could actually feel the sun kissing my skin and actually feel hands sending electric tingles all around my body.  As I eyes opened, greeted by the morning light, I tried to remember what happened last night but certain things were fuzzy, others were not so memorable. I remember the stabbing sensation in my heart and the jots of electricity jump starting my nerves. I looked around for some clues as to why I felt that way but all I found were packed boxes that I had to send to my dorm room. I sighed softly, as recollection of last night rolled through my mind like a movie and a aftertaste crept on my tongue. 

‘That’s right” I whispered “too many Tequila shots” 

Rolling out of bed I jumped in the shower hoping to use all the hot water I could muster up.  My  body felt stiff my head was pounding and my back was killing me, I made a mental note to never party the night before the first day. Getting out, I dried every inch and lotion my skin;  walking in my now empty closet I pulled out pull out my new junior uniform. It was a navy blue skirt with a matching blazer with the school’s crest on it: a rose held by a woman with a dragon surrounding my. Normally the crest would be a dragon but the school decided to revamp the uniforms to show homage to the founder. 

“I hurry up or you’ll be late for your junior year at Saint Lady Kanade” Kaede announced. 

“Coming” I called out.

I slipped on the skirt and tucked in my crisp white shirt inside, I tied the bow-tie before pulling the collar down and grabbed the blazer. I felt sick but I didn’t have much of a choice I had to go to school. Pulling my high thigh socks on, I felt like I was missing something but I knew I had everything. 

“Rin!” 

“Coming” I yelled as I galloped down the stairs, I tussled my long wavy hair back and grabbed an apple from the table. Breakfast was pretty nonexistent around here being that no one lives here and Kaede doesn’t have time to cook.  I was about to head out with a small box for my room when Kaede stepped in front of the door.

“Wait right there young lady”

“Ugh, I don’t need another stupid lecture Keade” I answered “I came home before curfew didn’t I?” 

“That’s not the point, since we moved to New York you’ve changed” 

“I thought that’s the whole point to a move?” I questioned while fixing last night’s makeup,  I corrected the eyeliner with my thumb. I checked to see if I got any makeup on my dragon head thumb ring but it was still perfect as the day I got it on my last birthday. 

“That crowd you hang out with they’re—“

“The best thing that’s every happened to me” I finished 

“Look, my grades haven’t slipped, I’m still class president and on track for valedictorian so what’s the real problem?” I asked, I saw how Kaede hesitated and I automatically knew what this conversation was about more like whom.

“Jūra is a bad influence and I don’t think you should see him anymore” Keade commanded.

“Well that’s too bad since he is my boyfriend” I pointed out 

“Rin, he’s trouble”

“Jūra is about as much threat to me as you’re presence at home” I stated

“It’s pretty nonexistent” I finished before leaving, I didn’t want to stick around for anymore of the parenting or lack thereof. I rolled my eyes it’s always like this every time I come home for the holidays or when the school year is over. Kaede would passively tell me how much she hates Jūra and I would tell her directly that I didn’t care how she felt. Since I stopped trying to be the perfect daughter at home I directed that energy elsewhere. Walking outside I shook my head completely unfazed by Kaede’s request, ever since I started dating Jūra Kaede has been on my ass nonstop. Jūra was the best thing that’s happened to I since I moved here; especially when Kagome got accepted into another private school where she would be living in another state.  I was practically alone no one was ever home anymore and Kaede and I only bud heads, so I decided to start living on campus after fall of my freshmen year and I haven’t regretted it since. It wasn’t like I had friends lined up waiting to hang out with me, I was even picked on my freshman year but I was grateful towards a certain demon that day:

Keeping my hands glued to my sides, crowds pushed their way through like high tidal waves. It was hard trying to figure my way through this private school and it was even harder doing it on the first day. It wasn’t just the first day for me but it was the first day for everyone else which made things ten times harder. Being pushed back and forth I started to get mad, subconsciously,  I did not know I was touching people until my hand brushed against some skin that felt extremely hot. Not aware of the effect, a jolt of electricity spIt through my veins. Causing me to stop everything I am doing, I felt an abstruse pull from nowhere. I turned around to be faced to face with a young demon with piercing gold eyes. He seemed annoyed but when he looked at me he looked pissed off.

“Watch where you’re going” he growled, I felt the breath being stuck in my lungs but I didn’t dare act upon this feeling.  Walking up the stairs I followed my gut instinct hoping when everybody disappears I will locate the office. Touching the very last step, my heart tickled my ribs creating a discomfort, , I felt my ribs expanding my chest , my palms grew sweaty, and my lungs suddenly disappeared. I looked around hoping to find the office but still nothing.

“Crap” I muttered

“Are you lost?” I heard, I turned around about to say no but I was faced with the boy with red eyes and a curious look on his face. I didn’t understand why I was going blank or why I couldn’t speak. I have not felt this way since...I do not even remember the last time I felt this way. Yet this feeling spoke on its own, it made me feel a small spark igniting inside me, feeling so familiar. I knew I should of let him helped me but I walked away because this feeling was too intense for me. As the crowd finally dispersed; I weaved my way past those that were going left and right. My gut told me to go straight no matter what, I listened after a few feet of going one solid direction I saw a head that clench my heart and produced more sweat. 

“Stop feeling so nervous” I whispered, finally finding my destination.

‘See and you didn’t need his help’ but a piece of me wanted to have him help me just so I could use the excuse of learning his name. I knew better than to let someone as gorgeous as him to help me no matter how dreamy he looked. Closing my eyes I managed to reimagine those sharp red eyes again and that made breath in my throat refused to move. How can I get this feeling for some stranger I barely knew?

“Snap out of it Rin” I muttered.

“Talking to yourself now?” I heard, I turned around only to be faced by the intense gold eyes again.

“You know we really need to stop meeting like this” I heard myself say, I mentally smacked myself in the head. I could not believe I just said that to him, now he probably thinks I’m nuts.

“we really should” he laughed, and suddenly a small weight was lifted off my shoulder. I smiled along with him not really sure why.

“My name is Jūra” 

“Rin. Rin Yamamoto” I answered, I didn’t understand why I gave him my whole government but I decided to roll with it.

“Well Rin, would you mind if I escort you to your classes?” He asked

“I wouldn’t mind it any other way, but first I need to get my schedule” I answered before giggling. 

He didn’t ask me out until our sophomore year because he was dating someone at the time and didn’t want to lose me as a friend. I was a bit heartbroken but I was glad that I waited because it made the moment even more special. We managed to make it work with our different schedules and aspirations.

“Your chariot awaits, m’lady” Jūra ushered me to my seat in his car and I just giggled. He always took the time to pick me up from school our freshman year when I didn’t live on campus and now that I do he picks me up to take me there. Being with Jūra, I suddenly felt more free. The girl who used to live in Shikon was long gone and in her place was someone who lived more in their skin. I was no longer “Stuck-Up” Rin, I was the most popular and smartest girl in school and everyone respected me for that sophomore year. 

“What took you so long?” He asked.

“Ugh, Kaede wanted to give me another ‘don’t see Jūra’ speech” I answered dully. 

“She really hates me huh?” 

“Yeah and I don’t know why?”

“She’s afraid you’re changing, I mean you did go out with Ayame the night before the first day”

“That’s because she needed a girl’s night out,out, new school year does that” I answered, 

“Ayame is always stressing about something” He added, I laughed and shrugged my shoulders knowing I wouldn’t be able to win that fight.

Jūra took my hand into his and caressed my skin. I stared at his hand amazed by how the touch of a demon was so gentle. I brought his hand to my face and rubbed it against my cheek to show him I appreciate his concern but I’m a big girl.

“I just don’t want you to lose yourself” he whispered before parking the car. 

I bit my lower lip suddenly understanding why Kaede and Jūra were so worried, I did go through a dramatic change last summer. I changed my entire wardrobe and partied so hard that I forgot where I lived. Kaede thought I was on drugs at one point and Jūra thought I was rebelling but all I wanted was a change. After learning partying everyday wasn’t my thing I only did it once a week and still maintain my image. I smiled when Jūra opened the door for me, he likes to be a gentlemen to me but a jerk towards his friends. I rolled my eyes to his logic but I simply kissed his cheek and told him thank you. 

“Oh and before I forget, we got some new students this year” He informed me, I nodded because that meant I would have to greet them and show them around.

‘One of the perks to being student body president’ I thought, I haven’t even settled in and already I had to show a group of kids around but if I didn’t do it then everything would fall apart. 

“Thank you, I just hope none of them ask if the dorm rooms are co-ed” I muttered, I hated always having to show kids around and get asked questions pertaining to their libido. I for one did not care much for sex it really was not on my mind; the only thing that concern me was my inevitable acceptance to the Hōraijima elite. Sex was far from my mind and if I were to have sex I would want my first to be when I was ready and for it to be with someone special. Nothing too cliche, but obviously romantic where it would take off some pressure since it would be my first time. Shaking my head I looked at my gorgeous boyfriend and told him that I’d meet him for lunch. Walking to the main office I greeted the secretary and she told me that the group of students were waiting in the east corridor. 

“Oh and Rin?” She called out

“Yeah?”

“These kids seem to have an edge on them, so be careful” She cautioned, I nodded and headed over to meet the newbies I’d have to tour around. I wasn’t scared to meet them, or talk to them I was just hoping they wouldn’t be a complete bag of dicks. 

“Sorry for keeping you waiting but welcome to Saint Lady’s Kanade, my name is Rin and I’ll be your—“ I stopped myself when I saw who I would be giving a tour too.

“Stuck-Up Rin?” I watched as my past was dressed in the school’s uniform faced right before me with shocked looks on their faces. 

‘This cannot be happening’ I thought, but it was.

“Wow, you grew into a fine young creature” Miroku flirted but I snatched my hand back and took a step back. 

‘No. No. No. NO’ I thought

“Why are you guys here?” I blurted out

“Shikon high burned down and we were sent to different districts but because a few of us are rich our parents decided to send us here” Inuyasha answered he looked around for someone, I knew he was looking for Kagome but I was too busy looking for…

“Hm” I accidentally crashed into someone without even looking, turning around everything seemed to be crashing and burning on me. My heart stopped beating, I think I forgot the key importance of air once my brown eyes laid eyes on him. Words were too rich for me to say anything, all I could do is drink him in with my eyes I prayed that this was just a dream but he felt like reality. My body screamed out to him kick him but I just stood there,  like a deer in headlights; what could I even do? The boy who crushed me was only a centimeter away from me but my feet molded in the ground. My heart finally awoken after flat lining on me and started racing like a NASCAR. I cannot breathe at all it was all too much to handle balling my hands in a fist I felt my nails ripping through my skin. It was a habit I picked up to keep my composure and stop myself from displaying unwanted emotions. Our eyes were locked on each other for a while, he stood there, ignoring everything around us. You know how in a romance movie when the guy and girl look into each other’s eyes and suddenly there’s this awkward orchestra music begin to play and instantly a connection is being displayed to the crowd. Well that is what’s happening right now. It was like everything happening around us moved very slowly,  a bunch of students who were talking in rapid motion are now awfully slow. Everything around us seemed to be put into retrospect, while only in this bubble, we seemed to fit perfectly is the present. I do not know how or why but I knew one thing for sure I could not take my eyes off him, nor did I want to. Realizing what I was doing and with whom I needed to snap out of this bubble.Clearing my throat I told everyone to stay together and hold all questions until the end.  Feeling uncomfortable, I started looking around to see if anyone else caught what just happened no one seemed to notice what happened a minute ago.

“Here at Saint Lady’s Kanade we take pride in our academics and sports, thus making us the first school to be unbeatable for three years straight” I explained. I tried my best to stick to the rehearsed script I would use on the new kids but my head kept replaying what happened between Sesshomaru and I. I wanted to die, I literally wanted to be swallowed by the earth and never see the light of day ever again. 

“This is the cafeteria, we have gourmet meals made by only the finest chefs in New York” 

After all this time, I was finally able to let go of my past but here it was enrolled in my school. I did my best not to look over to my shoulder, he was right there standing far to close to me. There was a point I could feel the heat radiating off him and unto me. 

‘Oh Kami, kill me now’ I thought.

“Here are the dorms, the boys are on the left and the girls on the right. And this concludes our tour” I finished “You will find a list to your roommate along with the name of your roommate, any questions you can call the head office”

“What if we wanted to be in contact with you?” I heard

“Being that I’m the student body president you can always find me on campus, or in the student lounge” I answered. 

“Could we call you” I heard someone laugh but I didn’t allow that to get to me, I was going to show them that this was my school, and I wasn’t the same girl they knew.  

“Listen here you little piece of shit, this is my school and if you get on my nerves I will make this the worst experience of your life” I stated low enough for him and all the demons to hear me. Walking away from the newbie I smiled at everyone else and instructed them to go to the dorms. Clenching my hands so hard, I didn’t realize that I was bleeding until the crimson red stained my perfectly white shirt. I couldn’t go to the nurse because she will report it and it would go on my record for Hōraijima elite to see. I took the time to head over to the student lounge to fix my wounds since I had the first two periods free. 

“Who pissed you off princess?” A familiar voice questioned me.

I  turned around to see Ryūra  behind me playing with guitar.  I immediately grew annoyed and stayed on high alert, ever since  Jūra introduced me to Ryūra he has been nothing but a pain in my ass. He was also the very beautiful demon I met my freshmen year, sadly that feeling died when we first met and he wanted to be a dick to me. I don’t understand what I ever did to piss him off but I simply just kept my guard up and never gave him the time of day, until now. If he saw my hands then he’d tell Jūra, because they tell each other everything and I did not need someone to worry about me. 

“Ryūra  what do you want” I  demanded, I hid my palms in my blazer. I  didn’t trust him there was something about him that rubbed me the wrong way. 

“Well I was simply going to the music room when I noticed your current display of a tantrum” He pointed out.

“Tantrum?” I  questioned. I  didn’t think that scene with the newbies as a tantrum, more of standing firm and displaying dominance. 

‘Was it a tantrum?’ I thought.

“Careful Princess, keep letting those wheels turn and you’ll burn a hole in the floor” Ryūra pointed out. 

I snapped out of my thoughts only to find him much closer than before, I took a step back keeping my guard up. I didn’t know why he decided to be so close to me thinking it would be okay, I should have ripped him a new one for being in my personal space. I looked at the bad boy only to notice a smirk on his face. He picked my hand up to see the blood stain on my shirt, I should have snatched my hand back but his eyes paralyzed me. He pulled the shirt back to reveal my crescent moons that have been engraved inside my palms for three years. 

“Interesting” He stated dropping my hands from his, he walked away not leaving much of an explanation or anything.

“Wait, you can’t just say something like that and disappear” I stated following him but he was no where to be found. I knew I should of let it alone but I simply tried to locate him to get him to explain how was my defense a tantrum. I also wanted to beg him not to tell Jūra what he saw because I was handling my situation on my own. It shouldn’t have really bothered me but Ryūra would always say something that would get under my skin and have me thinking. I quietly followed Ryūra’s path not sure why, he’s probably going to pick on  or hook up with some freshmen. However, Ryūra just walked inside the music room picked a spot and started to strum. I watched him through the window making sure he wouldn’t see me and watched as he played so freely. I always knew he could play but  never knew he could play so well, it made me wonder what other secrets the evil spawn was hiding. 

‘ But could you hide my secret?’ I thought. I stopped watching him for a while and started to listen to the music, it sounded painful yet beautiful at the same time. I found it to be haunting but the way he played it made it work. I found myself relaxing to the strings, it was as if he knew how caged I was feeling and he wanted to break me free. It made me feel emotions I’ve tried to hide--rare thing, but I liked the feeling. I looked at my watch only to find myself thirty minutes late for class.

“Shit” I muttered, I ran out the music hall and headed to class.

‘I’ll have to deal with Ryura another time’ I thought, I needed to make sure he doesn’t open his mouth and blab that I ‘hurt’ my self. I never really saw it as hurting myself, it was a way I relieved the pressure and stress. It helped me cope and breathed and if he took that away from me he will take everything I’ve worked so hard to build.

-o-

“So nice of you to join us Rin” The professor announced, I mouthed sorry before walking over to my seat. 

“Alright class, as I was stating in two weeks you have a test coming up  Miss Yamamoto being the student body president, you can tutor Mr. Takahashi so he’s caught up” He told me, I slightly paused when I heard that name.

“Excuse me?” I answered.

“You will be tutoring Mr. Takahashi, did you not hear me the first time?” 

“Why?”

“I’m sorry?” He questioned, I bit my tongue and corrected myself “no problem”. I turned my head to see Sesshomaru sitting two chairs behind me with his eyes closed. If I still cared I knew he was just as annoyed as I was but I had a reputation to uphold. Unlike him I wanted a good look because I am the face of this school and can be a shoe in for a spot in the Hōraijima elite. It’s easier to get into Harvard than in the Hōraijima elite. Which made the pressure come even harder, I had to get in if I wanted to secure my future for not only Harvard but as a whole.  This elite membership is made of supreme board made of only the best students in the entire state I heard the last kid that was tapped to be in was going to an ivy league. There was on spot left and Saint Lady Kanade is the last school they have looked at which is perfect because by the time I get in I’ll already have my electoral speech ready and be a shoe in for president, naturally. 

‘Harvard here I come’ I thought, I droned out the lesson and tried to keep my nerves calm I still needed to find Ryūra to keep him from talking. Normally during my free period I would hang out with Jūra but I got a text from the office that a newbie needed a private tour.

‘I’m sure he’ll understand’ I thought but I spotted Ryūra and decided the student will understand my tardiness.

I decided I could be five minutes late once I saw Ryūra heading over to the stalls, I needed to be alone with him. 

“Ryūra” I called out

“What do I owe this lovely surprise princess?” I rolled my eyes not wanting to waste any time beating around the bush.

“Have you told Jūra?” i asked

“Told him what?” He asked, I looked into his eyes trying to see if he was just playing another game with me or if he was actually being sincere.

“I don’t need anyone in my business, I’m fine” I finished before heading over to the classroom to meet with the student that requested help. 

“You’ve got to me kidding me” I did not bother to contain my distain towards the student I had to show around. I literally wanted to crawl under a hole, just when I thought I could get away from him Kami pulls the carpet right from under me. 

“You wanted a private tour?” I asked but no response.

“Great, you’re choosing to play the quiet game” I muttered, rolling my eyes I decided to focus on the homecoming dance I have to plan. I was on at least ten different committees as acting president (of course), president for the entire student body, a shoe in for valedictorian and on track to be tapped to the Hōraijima elite. It was times like this I wondered how do I even do it let alone have the energy to do it all.  I was busy trying praying that Ryūra would actually be a gentlemen and keep his mouth shut.

“Hn”. 

“Do you have any questions about our last class or about the school?” I asked, I tried to play nice because the headmaster mentioned that as Student body president and face of this school I will be closely watched and if I fail to do my task then she will make me step down causing everything to go in a downward spiral. I do not know about Mr. Takahashi over here but I do not want to give Kaede an excuse to ship me to boarding school in Siberia. It was bad enough she thinks I am being influenced by my friends to be a delinquent. He ignored my question by closing his eyes to fall asleep, I decided to give him time to sleep before I ask again.

Five minutes later…

“Any questions?” I asked again, it has been five minutes and he is still in the same position. I managed to create seven different themes for this homecoming dance and decided that a masquerade theme would be great, cliché but great. It gives people to show their hidden confidence and dance with people and be their true selves behind their mask.

“There is no privacy that cannot be penetrated. No secret can be kept in the world. Society is a masked ball where everyone hides his real character, then reveals it by hiding” I whispered it is by Ralph Waldo Emerson, it is one of my favorite quotes and when I thought of it the idea of a masquerade, voila homecoming’s theme is born.

“Ralph Waldo Emerson” I heard from the back.

‘oh, so he was listening to me’ rolling my eyes I ignore him and started drawing some designs for the school gym, I hummed a simple tune while drawing that inspired me for the dance.

“I guess you do a lot of reading when you’re not being a complete dick” I answered, I continued to draw more layout ideas, I took moment to write some words down hoping to create a name but instead circled the words ‘darkness’ and ‘masquerade’. 

“Why the words Darkness and Masquerade?” He asked, his words sounded much closer to my ear turning my head slightly around I could see he is in front of the desk that my back is resting on from behind. 

‘Why didn’t I hear him?’ I thought, he was very light on his feet but then again he is a demon, so they are incredible fast for no reason. Keeping those thoughts on the back burner while I admire my work.

“Ningen—“

“The name is Rin, not Ningen or did you forget?” I answered without facing him. Sighing to myself I decided to answer his question.

“I circled the word Masquerade because that will be the theme for the homecoming dance, where people can be anything they want and for one night have their dreams come true, even, if it is just for one hour” I answered I turned to look at him but wished I never did. Our eyes caught each other and I felt broken all over again. I felt my body shaking from the emotions I did not want to deal with from the past, I should have but instead I gripped dug my nails into my palm. Breaking away, I looked at my watch we only have ten more minutes and he has yet to ask me any questions.

“But why darkness?” he questioned. I brushed his question off and tapped the wooden desk hoping time would pass faster. Since he wanted to waste my time I decided to do the same with him. However his sudden need to know about my actions were starting to creep me out.

“You do not have to answer if you do not want to” He replied, I heard a tiny hint of genuine sincerity in his voice it threw me off, normally his voice held no emotions it would just be cold and harsh and that’s it. I felt slightly angry how he genuine he decided to be, as if the past three years never happened. Turning to face him my brown orbs stared into his golden ones once more to make sure that I am stuck in the same room with the cold hearted pompous asswipe who embarrassed me three years ago. 

“Why do you even want to know?” I asked, even his stance is annoyingly taciturn; everything about him is unsympathetic, it is hard to believe he have a soul underneath that cold exterior, it is hard to believe that he is the same man I considered to be my best friend…I am truly an idiot.

“Curious” he leaned over, mentally thanking kami that there is a desk between us I did not trust his motives. Staring deep down in his eyes, I really want to believe that this man before me is the same one I used to be friends with, one who was kind and compassionate, the one who was there for me when everything grew hard. 

My heart started to break again, I needed to let the past go because when I met the reality it was too hard to accept the facts. It was too painful to keep reliving the past it’s too hard to let years of friendship go but if it meant nothing to him, then why should it mean something to me.

‘Damnit, the truth really does hurt’ I thought, I tried rubbing the tears away but the more I rubbed the more they came, I truly feel like an idiot. I put my hands down because I didn’t need another demon to look at my hands. Looking at Sesshomaru, the beautiful man I decided to answer his question.

“I chose darkness, because, my life is in constant darkness” I confessed, time was finally up and I headed out.

“Time’s up“  I whispered when opening the door to free us both.

I turned to see his cold exterior come to play once more, he finally realized whom he was talking to and pushed me aside to be free from the cage we were locked in together.

‘So happy we are on the same page’ I thought while heading over to the cafeteria, I needed to see a familiar face that I actually like. Arriving to the cafeteria I walked over to Jūra and his little posse. I felt happy to see him and not my past, I did my best to ignore Ryūra but he just smirked my way before looking the other way.

‘What is his deal?’ I thought but turned my attention to my boyfriend. Giving Jūra a peck on the cheek he wrapped his arms around my shoulder causing me to nuzzle in his neck.

“How as the first day?” He whispered, I groaned not wanting to think about it.

“What’s wrong?”

“Those new kids are from my old school” I told him, I looked at him to see an angry Jūra.

“You mean those assholes that picked on you”

“yeah, but it’s in the past i don’t care anymore” I answered “I have you guys” 

“Excatly Rin, you don’t need those jerks” Jakotsu answered before sitting next to me.

“Tonight club Demon is opening; we need to go”  Ayame announced before dropping her salad to show us the flyer.

“Ayame is it possible for you to stay home and leave my girlfriend alone?” Jūra asked

“Umm Jūra is it possible for you to get your head out of Rin’s ass?” Ayame shot back

“I’m going to get lunch” I stated before walking over to the line.

“Hey Rin wait up” Jakotsu called out, I smiled when he jogged towards me. Jakotsu is pretty much my second boyfriend whenever Jūra is busy with his life. Jakotsu are on student council and homecoming committee together, we went shopping once together and we were glued to each other since. At first I thought he was interested in me romantically but after learning his interest involves boys I learned his love for me was only platonically. 

“How have you been doing?” He whispered, I looked at him and smiled 

“Perfect, I just couldn’t—“

“cut the bullshit Rin, Ryura told me what you did to your hands” Jakotsu cut me off, he looked upset and I knew I promised that I’d stop but I am already under immense pressure and it’s only been the first day.

“I thought you said you had this under control” 

“Today was just a minor set back I swear” 

“Rin I really think you need to talk to someone” He suggested but I shook my head, I knew I did not have a problem so it didn’t need help. I just needed a break, and I knew exactly what I needed to do to release some pressure.

“Look I’m just under a lot of pressure but tonight when I go out I will feel fine” I smiled at my friend who was shaking his head at me.

“I don’t want to lose my best friend” He walked away from me, making me feel like I disappointed him already. I walked towards the food line hoping to drown my feelings in something greasy. I was craving a pizza badly, I knew tonight I was going to go out with Ayame so I had to make sure I eat something at dinner time before she drags me. Paying for my pizza I saw a little commotion towards the south wing of the cafeteria, not sure why but I walked over to see what was going on.

“I’m going to make you eat those words you Dog!” 

I looked over to see Ryūra in a fight with Sesshomaru and without thinking I blocked Ryūra’s blow with my tray. 

"Do you have a fucking death wish?" I asked Ryūra who was too busy sizing up Sesshomaru.

“Rin stay out of this” Sesshomaru warned me but I didn’t listen I just walked in front of him to confront Ryūra.

“He’s not worth it, what ever is going on it’s not worth it” I told him but his eyes were trained on Sesshomaru.

“Hey!” I yelled, finally earning Ryūra’s attention I looked into his eyes hoping to reason with him. I didn’t understand why I immediately put myself in this fight, normally when Ryūra got into fights i would roll my eyes and continue with my day. However, today is different I couldn’t let him fight Sesshomaru and vice versa.

“I won’t let you fight him” I whispered, Ryūra’s eyes flickered for a bit then turned cold and without missing a beat he pushed me far away from him causing me to crash into the chair.

“Are you alright?” Inuyasha asked, I nodded and jumped between the two demons again only this time I was in defense mode. 

“If you want to pick on someone, pick on someone on your own size Ryūra” I yelled, I didn’t know what they were fighting about but I wasn’t going to let Ryūra fight.

“Why do you care, they were assholes to you Rin” Ryūra answered, eyes still trained on Sesshomaru it made me wonder what happened in just five minutes that caused him to be this aggressive. 

‘Why am I doing?’ I thought but I shook my head and looked at him showing him that I wasn’t going to stand down.

“It doesn’t matter, I am responsible for them” I lied, I was done being responsible for them once the tour was over but deep down I just did not want Ryūra to fight. 

“Listen here ningen, that Sesshomaru is going to feel my wrath if he thinks he’s stronger than me”

“You know only pompous assholes who think they are entitled, are in fact lacking in certain areas” I answered as I looked down at his ‘package’ and clicked my tongue to show him what I meant. 

‘What the hell are you doing Rin?’ I decided to ignore it once I saw a dangerous glint in Ryūra eyes. I knew Ryūra wanted to kill me but I was not afraid of him or any demon I knew I could handle myself. I was sure Jūra was going to be angry at me for fighting his best friend again but I needed to make sure Ryūra was stopped. 

“If you don’t want me to tell your secret, I suggest you move” he threaten but I stood my ground, I didn’t flinch when he tried to get the upper hand.

“Do what you must” I whispered.

“Rin, I’m warning you” 

“Ryūra, you don’t want to test me”

He charged towards me with full force, I sense he was going to aim towards my stomach. Shaking my head in disappointment I twirled to the side allowing Ryūra to keep running so his head could meet the brick wall of the of room. After hearing a thud, I could hear a quick shifting of feet by the weight of it I had a feeling that he was coming back; feeling the slice of air tapping my back i judged he might try to whack me over the head, dropping to the ground I slithered my way through his legs that way he can rejoin the way again. 

“Since when did you start being predictable?” I asked, Normally I could never figure out his moves and I would always be knocked out but for some reason he was holding back. Turning my body completely around I can see Sesshomaru and Inuyasha in pure shock, shaking my head I pushed him out of the way.

“Back down Rin, this has nothing to do with you” Sesshomaru answered, before I could answer Ryūra grabbed me by the throat we were face to face. Completely unfazed by his grip I wanted to figure out why he was holding back on me, he knew I could get out of any choke hold and yet he was doing it. I wondered what was going on in that dragon’s head but I rolled my eyes.

‘Well I can kiss Harvard goodbye’ I thought.

I pressed his knuckles down hard causing him to release his grip, I grabbed him by the arm and threw him across the room. Seeing him land on the top of the wall where his last two imprints were.

“You know better than that" I informed him, he charged at me in full speed once again.

“I’m warning you to stop" I said, I blocked and dodged all of his attacks until he started to get careless with his moves

‘You always calculate your moves’ I thought.

"My turn" I answered, punching him straight in the jaw I left him for a second before kicking him in the head. Landing a good punch I felt my hand connect with his ribs i even heard a few of them crack. His piercing scream filled the entire cafeteria but I did not stop there, I did a backflip making sure the tip of my foot holds the tip of his chin picking him up with me I flipped him to the other side making him collide back to the wall. Landing perfectly on my feet I turned to Sesshomaru handing him the broken tray.

“I can fight my own battles Sesshomaru” I told him, he looked at me and I took the time to do the same. He got taller over the years and his hair longer but he still looked the same.

‘He is so damn beautiful’

 His golden orbs are always stoic, never reveals anything his cold lonely walls never go down. The two purple jagged marks on each cheeks along with the crescent moon on his forehead, I wanted to trace those tattoos like I use to when I was kid but I rolled my eyes. However there was something in those cold eyes, I was lucky enough to catch it but it vanished quickly.

“Stupid Ningen” Sesshomaru muttered before walking away, as he walked away somehow a perfectly sour milk carton hit the back of his head and spilled all over him. Now I do not know how it got there, but I do know I will need some paper towels to dry my hands once this is over. He slowly turned around to face me and I looked him dead in the eye no hint of backing down, I could not read his eyes I figured he wanted to kill me but instead he walked away.

“What the hell Rin” Jūra stated I snapped out of the trance to look at my boyfriend who was helping his best friend up. I silently cursed myself for getting in a fight with Ryūra, I honestly don’t know what happened. Something possessed me to fight him and I really hurt him without even realizing it. Jūra took Ryūra to the infirmary but I sighed and headed to my dorm not in the mood to deal with the rest of the day. 

‘What a shitty first day this has been’ I thought.

 

 

 

Chapter Text

“And one by one the nights between our separated cities are joined to the night that unites us.” 

Pablo Neruda

Chapter Three: 


 

Arriving to my dorm, I ran upstairs to start getting ready, I am determine to have some fun tonight and I do not care what the cost may be. I left Jūra a note stating not to bother me I was gone with Ayame. He made it clear that he was pissed that I whopped Ryūra’s ass for the second time as a whole. The first time was Sophomore year when I started feeling more confident of myself but Ryūra, whom I didn’t know at the time, wanted to pick on me. Unfortunately for him I took some lessons since freshman year and I showed him I was not to be underestimated. Jūra made us promise to never fight again even if it comes down to physical blows and I broke that promise. Seems like I cannot catch a break tonight, I already lost when I defended Sesshomaru in front of the entire student body. . But when his body language screamed he does not want me or want anything to do with me, I am nothing but a bother to him yet I was quick to jump to the rescue.

‘There’s something wrong with me’ I thought.

 Throwing my current clothes on the floor I texted Ayame that I would be ready in an hour. I was sad that Jakotsu wanted to sit tonight out because he was already given a lot of homework and wanted to be free for the weekend. Getting an address to the night club called DEMON; the name seemed a bit vulgar and weird but the ratings says otherwise.

“A Night will change your perspective to life” I muttered the motto, shrugging I copied the address and hopped in the shower to get ready for this life changing event I will be signing up for. Standing in the shower I tried my hardest not to think about the cafeteria incident and the closeness we shared in the classroom if that desk wasn’t between us.  Shaking my head I jumped out the shower and walked to my closet to find something racy and vulgar to wear to match the club’s theme, but I do not want to be perceived as something unwanted and slutty. I decided to wear a Skin tight black lace overlay slip dress with adjustable straps and an asymmetric hem, the dress is so thin if your fingers get cut into the dress the dress is done, picking out a pair of black combat boots I was still not in the mood to wear something high on my feet. Grabbing a comb I started teasing the hair so it would be big and wild and out of control something that I want to reflect tonight. Putting some black make-up on I wanted to look like anyone but myself, applying the red lipstick on my lips I looked really good, close to a hooker but with taste of course. 

“Get ready to eat your heart out boys” I muttered fixing my black leather jacket on my me, the dress was beyond short I had to fix it every five minutes to bring it down and my boobs were on the verge of spilling out in other words I looked really good and tonight I will accomplish my agenda. Packing a few bills inside the jacket pocket, I pulled out my fake ID that I made during the summer. Slipping a few things inside the jacket pocket I debated if I wanted to bring my phone or not l thought about taking it with me in case Jūra wanted to call, suddenly my phone started ringing checking. 

“Hello?” 

“Rin"

“You have a lot of nerve calling me, how the hell did you get this number?” I questioned I really did not feel like talking to the one person who made my life hell in just one day.

“It was in the contact packet the Headmaster distributed” he answered then remain quiet on the phone, I was getting annoyed from this.

“Sesshomaru spit out what you have to say, I’m going out tonight” I told him hearing silence on the other end, I rolled my eyes and hung up tonight I am carefree and a girl who wants to have a butt-load of fun with a stranger tonight.

Calling up the cab company to pick me up and take me to DEMON the hottest club where in one of the reviews stated that one girl had total amnesia after spending one hour inside. Fixing my hair one last time I heard the taxi called me letting me know that they arrived, saying one final last goodbye to myself I decided to leave my phone behind on my bed.

“I’ll see you soon” I whispered to myself, walking out my room.

Meeting Ayame in front of the dorm entrance she decided to follow the same theme as me only in a crop top and a tight leather skirt.

“You totally need to wear lingerie to school” Ayame pointed out, I rolled my eyes before dropping my arm over her shoulder.

“I’m just so glad you’re the partying type” I told her which caused her to laugh. We headed towards the exit when I saw the one person I didn’t think I would see.

“Where are you going Rin?” Ryūra asked, I sighed and told Ayame to go ahead of me I will see her soon. I figured he was going to report to his master who still was not speaking to me. 

“I’m going out” I told him “I need to destress from today’s events” 

“I understand but that doesn’t mean you go out and party; it’s a school night”

“Gee mom, I didn’t think it would be bad to go to one little party” 

“I’m sorry Rin but—“
“Save it Ryūra, just tell your master I’m not home” I finished before walking away.

It was half past eight when I climbed in the cab next to Ayame, the ride to the club outside of New York would be about an hour which gave me more than enough time to clear my head. 

“You okay?” She asked

“hmm, oh yeah” I answered but she gave me this look like I was just bullshiting her

“Rin I am a human lie detector”

“I feel like I really screwed up today”

“You mean between you and Ryūra?” I nodded  

“Please, he had it coming you just did him a favor; I’m pretty sure that new kid was going to kill him” 

“If anything you saved Ryūra” Ayame finished, I smiled at her she knew how to make someone feel good even if her logic didn’t make any sense at all. I simply did not want to be in my thoughts anymore I wanted to dance and drink as much as my human body can handle. 

“Excuse me, how far are we?” I questioned

“Five more minutes miss” the taxi driver replied, nodding I looked out the window to see a huge sign it bright lights. There were lines to the lines to get inside to the hottest club also known as DEMON, my heart started to race in pure excitement I cannot believe this is actually happening I cannot believe that I am in front of the club. 

“Let’s go” Ayame sung, I was just as excited as her.

Throwing the wad of cash at the cab driver I told him thank you but he stopped me as soon as my hand touched the door.

“Miss, please be careful, there are demons that lurk about in that club and one whiff of you and you may never see tomorrow again” he warned me.

“I’m a big girl I can handle myself” I told him, thanking him one last time I walked out of the car with the zipper on my jacket down to reveal my outfit. Skipping the line and the remarks my way, I walked up to the bouncer smiled his way and without a second of hesitation he let me in. Entering inside the bizarre wonderland the first three Nano seconds inside I can smell the desire dripping off their bodies like a hot summer day in mid-July. Feeling a bit off by the ambience and strong sexual atmosphere, human women were practically naked dancing on the stage and cages while the neon lights flashed their scandalous body parts and the hungry eyes of the demons watched them while taking a sip of their expensive drinks, the bar was planted in the middle of the floor, stretched out as long as a condo in New York about five bartenders were tending the bar all at once in sync. Taking in the club it had a freeing feeling about it, you could do anything and people will either look the other way or encourage it, a couple were having on one of the many lounge chairs and there were a few roaming hands touching them and some were watching and touching themselves. 

“I’ll be at the bar” I told Ayame who made her way to the dance floor to find a lucky stranger to take home for the night. 

Rushing over to the bar, I quickly sat on the available stool and removed the jacket off my shoulders which immediately gained some attention from the bartenders and the wandering eyes.

“How can I help you” one bartender asked, his eyes were too busy roaming around my chest before they remembered my eyes were on my face.

“Six tequila shots” I ordered, he nodded before flipping six glasses on the table and did a few hand tricks with the tequila bottle before pouring my shots and serving me the six pieces of lime along with it. Without a second to waste I took the shot and sucked the lime right off and repeated the action about five times until I felt a slight buzz around me.

“Six more shots” I ordered.

Twenty four shots in, a cosmopolitan found my way to me looking at the bartender he smiled and pointed to a group of gentlemen on the farther side of the bar.

“They got it for you” he informed me, I felt too buzzed to care I shrugged my shoulders I slugged it back and slammed the glass down and asked for six more shots, I was not backing down. I’m planning to get hammered then dance my ass off and go home with the biggest hangover. Winking at the bartender I left my jacket behind and walked over the dance floor completely drunk but still had a piece of sense attached to my head. The DJ was playing some kind of beat but it did not matter to me, the alcohol surged through my veins and followed the beat on its own while my body just followed, somebody attached themselves to my body and decided to follow the beat with me. Shrugging my shoulders I did not mind that he followed but red flags flared inside my head saying to be careful, feeling dizzy I felt off my balance.

‘Something’s not right’ 

I tried to look for Ayame to tell her something was off but she was no where to be found, I tried to look all over for her in the club but I kept stumbling on my own two feet. 

“Let me take you home” he whispered in my ear, I tried saying no but I could no longer control my body, it felt like a huge weight that I was tugging on.

“Did you drug me?” I gasped but my speech slurred, I was slowly blacking out. 

‘Dear Kami help me’ I silently prayed the drink the guys sent me was drugged, I could not move my own body nor could I even keep my vision straight. The guy held me tight and his hands roamed my body hungrily I knew what was in stored for me if I don’t get out of here and hide but whatever they put in that drink made it impossible to function.

“Don’t worry my buddies and I will take good care of you” he whispered in my ear, struggling to free myself from his arms he held me tight making sure I would not escape.

“You are by far the hottest ningen I have ever seen” he whispered, I tried screaming for help but the music was beyond loud that no one would hear me or even bother because to them I look like a girl whose had way too much.

“Maybe she’s as good as she looks” I hear, I could not take another second I mustered all the strength I had and pushed him away from me giving me enough time to escape outside through the alleyway. The drug that was given to me was much stronger than roofies because normally roofies you black out but this made sure I was wake still to see what was going on and that my body was sluggish that I could not move at all. I heard of this  Demon drug used to drug other demons, to put them to sleep but a small dosage can be considered lethal to a human. Hearing the doors slam behind me I knew they found me and that I only have a few minutes to either try and flee or fight to the very end.

“You little bitch, you are going to get it” I can hear snickers from behind me as the ring leader who is in front of me walk up. Trying my best to clench my hands in a fist I tried holding my balance hoping I could defend myself to the finish. But my entire body felt like an open sandbag, I was sinking farther and farther away from my conscious state. 

“Leave me alone” I slurred, his demon buddies murmured among themselves stating how they are going to have some fun tonight. Trying to walk past the leader I did my best to throw a punch which cracked his jaw a bit but it did take him a second to slap me. The weight from his slap was weak but the drugs running through me said otherwise, I collapsed on the ground his buddies laughed around my body as they held me down. I tried fighting them off but I did not have a single fight inside me, I cried telling them to let me go but they just laughed.

“You bitch, you were asking for it and we are just filling your request” he told me, struggling my best to free myself his buddies tighten their grip on me as one of them lifted my dress up a bit while their leader fixed himself between my legs. I could not believe this was happening, I cried for help as loud as I could but he told me no one will hear me. I heard his zipper come down I struggled and fought as hard as I could but these drugs running through me prevent me from attempting to save my own life. I kept calling for help but nothing was happening, closing my eyes I prayed for Kami that I would die the minute he was done, I felt his hands on my knees rubbing my inner thighs. I kept praying to be taken away from here, to leave my body because I did not want to be here experience a bunch of men raping me. I thought of a place where I would be truly safe, where I am always safe mind, body and soul. Thinking hard I whispered:

“Sesshomaru” 

Whenever we were together as friends, I never once thought about my safety because I knew he would protect me. Awaiting for this to be over, nothing happened. I heard a huge growl that belted through the alley along with agonizing screams following. I opened my eyes to see that I was not held down against my own will anymore and that they men who were going to hurt me disappeared but was replaced by a huge white dog. The dog was as big as a moving truck, blood dripping from its sharp fangs he looked at me in bloodlust. Still drugged I tried picking myself up to walk over to the dog, I know I should be attempting to run because this dog looks like he is not done killing as I inched closer its blood red eyes lusted towards me for blood. 

‘Sesshomaru?’ I thought, I didn’t know if it was even him. For all I know it could just be a random demon dog ready to finish what these guys could have started. However I did not care if it killed me right there and then raising my hand towards the dog, showing that I am not going to harm him at first he snapped at me scaring me with an attempt bite towards my hand holding my hand back I had a feeling it wanted me to run away. Shaking my head no I whispered that it is okay, inching my hand closer I touching its snout before moving my hand long its head, passed the ears and then its back. Scratching the dog’s ears I felt myself drifting away from my body.

“You saved me” I whispered.

I blacked out and collapsed on the floor.

-o-

Waking up from the sun's rays, I twisted away shielding my poor eyes from the evil rays. While I shifted further away from the sun, I felt a small thump and stinging pain shooting in my neck, lifting my body up to see why I feel so uncomfortable. I realized I was not in my dorm or on the cold cement floor from last night when I woke up on a soft plushy bed. My body melted in with the feel of the fabric and the beyond soft silk sheets draped on my body, getting up slowly my head felt like it was being pounded by a hammer after all I had a lot of tequila shots and a drugged cosmopolitan. Remembering that I am in a stranger’s room, I checked myself quickly only to find everything intact and that I am in fact in the same outfit from last night. Looking around in the bare yet expensive furnished room I tried to figure out where the hell am I? I figured I was on campus because I could see Lady Kanade’s statue in the quads and from the angle of her statue I was not in the girl’s quarters. Getting out of the bed I wanted to get out of this now uncomfortable dress which holds terrible memories, rummaging through the Stranger who kidnapped me clothes, I found out I was indeed in the male quarters. Grabbing what looked like a small black t-shirt, I slipped off the dress and threw the t-shirt on my body and too my luck it stopped to my knees and made it look as if I am wearing an outdated dress. Shrugging I wanted to find something to add, to my luck I found an orange and red plaid shirt that I tied to my hips, slipping on my combat boots,  it looked as if I created a rebel skater girl style without trying. Silently remembering to thank the stranger who seemed to have old clothes that fits me, I looked through his stuff to try and get a sense of who kidnapped me so far I found my kidnapper has no personality, nothing, he is a clean freak because everything is neat and in order. Catching a glimpse of his book collection I suddenly forgot what I was doing and put my sole focus on the books before me, running my fingers through the spines of the books. My fingers stopped when I saw a book, 100 love sonnets by Pablo Neruda, he is my all-time favorite poet and I guess for the stranger as well, getting too caught up in the book I wanted to find a specific poem that I marked as my top favorite. But as I tried to locate the poem, a bookmark beat me to my favorite poem. It seems to be that not only did we have the same favorite poet but also the same poem that holds a spell over us.

“I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul.” I whispered, closing the book I decided to see who this mysterious man is that holds the very same interest in poetry as me. Looking through more of his stuff I noticed a photo on his desk, I was grateful to see an image of my savior/ kidnapper. Flipping it over I took a good look at it only to drop it. It was a picture of me standing next to Sesshomaru the night of Miroku’s party.

“Shit” I muttered, I was in Sessomaru’s room this was not good. 

“Kami just love playing games” I whispered as I walked to the door praying that no guy was in the hallway. To my luck it was complete empty, as I rushed out the door I knew if I could leave while being undetected I will never drink for the rest of my life. Running down the stairs I was almost home free when I stumbled into Jūra.

‘Deals off’ I thought. 

“Rin, what are you doing in the boy’s quarters?” He asked

“Looking for you” I lied, I didn’t know why I lied I should have just told him the truth that I was nearly raped and I some how ended up in Sesshomaru’s room. But it sounded so stupid I had a feeling that he wouldn’t understand.

“Why are you wearing boy’s clothes?” He asked, I was about to say something when Sesshomaru causally strolled down the stairs to head to the kitchen commons.

‘Fuck me’ I thought, Jūra looked at the direction Sesshomaru came from then looked at me and put the two together.

“Jūra, before you start nothing happened” I told him

“Did you sleep with him?” He asked

‘Well so much for not letting those wheels turn’ 

“I just said nothing happened, last night I was drugged and nearly raped” I told him

“then how come you ended up in Takahashi’s room?” He asked

“I don’t remember I was drugged” 

“You really expect me to believe that Rin?”

“why would I be in his room?”

“You tell me”

I looked at Jūra completely shocked as to why he would say something like that to me. If I had a clue as to why I was in Sesshomaru’s room then I would have told him but I don’t.

“Why would I sleep with the guy who hurt my feelings three years ago?” I questioned before Jūra could come up with some idiotic answer I cut him off “I hate him”

“Why did you defend him yesterday?”

“I am student body president, I have to make sure everyone is okay or else it is my head on the line or did you forget?” I answered 

“I don’t have feelings for Sesshomaru and I never will”

Jūra looked at me completely unsure if he should believe me or not but I sighed not really in the mood to deal with this. 

“Look when you decide to trust and believe me I’ll be in my room” I said over my shoulder as I left the dorms. 

‘Stupid Sesshomaru. Stupid Jūra. Stupid Ryura. Ugh Men’ 

-o-

Art Class. The only class where I  can truly be free; it is the only class where people appreciate art and it was the only reason I tolerated this school at first before branching out. Grabbing my portfolio and art supplies I knew the next two hours of my day will be an oasis.Leaving the dorm I heading outside where I could take in the perfect day by myself since Jūra decided not to believe me. It felt nice to walk through the campus where students actually respected me and didn’t give me dirty looks or called me “Stuck-Up Rin”.  Arriving to class I picked my seat next to the window where I could see the trees and take in the breeze. It felt nice to have artistic license in this class where I could do anything I wanted and didn’t have to apologize for it.  

“Rin?” The teacher called, I snapped out of my thoughts to look at her.

“Yes” I answered.

“I said we have a new transfer in the class and because you are ahead of the class I figured you could help him” She explained.

“Oh, of course I can help him” I smiled feeling my mood slightly brighten knowing I get to help someone with the one thing I love more than life itself.

“Great, you will sit next to mister Dragon” the teacher pointed out a chair next to the bad boy who had his feet up on the chair and was looking out the window.

I felt the record scratch and everything stop around me.

“Excuse me?” I questioned

“You will be helping Mr. Ryura Dragon” My teacher repeated

“But—“

My teacher pushed me towards the spawn of Satan without letting myself explain why this would be a bad idea. Being that he is the sole reason why my entire life has flipped upside down in the matter of two days since he’s got here. I have literally gotten on the bad side of my boyfriend and beat up his best friend in the time span of twenty four hours. I didn’t want to sit next to him. just when I think I’m safe in the only class that I don’t deal with the stress of being perfect; this spawn of Satan gets transferred to this class and now I have to help him catch up. Taking a deep breath I tried to look to the bright side of things, if I help Ryura maybe he will be nice to me and possibly not tell anyone about my secret. 

“Look here are the—“

“Look Ningen I am only here because the headmaster thought after yesterday events I am to be paired with you in every class until we work on our ‘issues’” He explained.

‘Ningen?’ I thought, I knew he would be mad at me but I didn't think it would result in such an insult. 

“Issues, but I don’t have any issues with you” I answered “It’s you who have the issues”

“Well the headmaster thought otherwise, we are to be paired until we learn to work together”

“But you started—“

I swear I literally think I heard a record scratch in this class when he told me how things were going to work from now on. So not only am I getting pushed for beating up Ryūra and getting drugged but I’m getting punished for a fight he started. 

“Or here’s a good suggestion, I talk to the headmaster and get his straighten out” I answered 

“I tried and she said no”

“that’s because you’re not student body president” I told him

 

That must have gotten his attention because he turned his head towards me and I felt my heart jump to my stomach. Rolling my eyes I had to look away before I started to blush or worse, do something completely stupid. “Look here Rin, I don’t want to be around you anymore than I need to” He stated I turned my head to him when he revealed he didn’t like it anymore than me, taking a deep breath I just wanted to get through this class before talking to the Headmaster. 

“Look Ryura, if we coexisted for three years I’m sure we can do it—

“Please, as if I  would be friends with such a pathetic Ningen.” He interrupted  

“I would never be friends with who has such a putrid smell to my nose.”

I couldn’t hold in my tears, they started to spill as his words sliced through me like a sword. I grabbed my things and left the class room without telling the teacher a word. Ryura was really mean and had no regards for a girl’s feelings. I don’t know why it bothered me when I hate him, maybe it’s because it’s coming from someone I thought I can consider to be  a friend. It was getting hard to trust someone when all they will do is hurt me.  Running to the nearest girl’s bathroom I locked myself in the nearest stall and started to cry. I cried for the party three years agoy I cried for years of false friendship I endured and lies that I believed.  I never felt so alone in this school and I wished my sister would be here to get me through it all. I always feared that no matter where I went I would feel alone Sesshomaru confirmed my fears when he came. And Ryura only made it worse when he hit below the belt. I tried my hardest to be happy and put on a brave face that Ryura’s words had no effect but I was wrong. 

Searching in my pockets I grabbed my phone and dialed Kagome’s number because I needed her words of encouragement right about now.

“What’s up bubble butt” Kagome answered, but I couldn’t bring myself to answer her all I did was cry.

“Rin what’s wrong?” Kagome asked “Is everything alright?”

“Kagome the kids from Shikon are back and Sesshomaru managed to turn my entire world upside down in two days ” I cried “And I’m stuck with Ryura who hates my guts more than usual”

“Oh Rin I am so sorry; I wish I could come over and kick their asses for you” Kagome replied it made me smile but I still felt sad.

“What did I do to deserve this?” I asked her

“Look what happened three years ago is in the past, you’ve evolved passed him” She stated.

“So you lay down the law, Rin you are so much stronger than this, you used to kick girl’s asses for picking on me our first year in New York.  I wish I could do the same for you now but you’re just gonna have to show them whose boss” Kagome explained 

“How?”

“Remind them that you’re not the same Rin” Kagome answered.

You’re right, I miss you” I whispered

“Rin I miss you so much, you better visit me when you go on break” she said.

I told her that I will and we both said our goodbyes before hanging up the phone. I felt ten times better talking to Kagome because she always knew what to say in any situation…Good or bad. Exiting out of the stall I decided to go back to class with my head held high and my pride still on the line. Opening the door I told the teacher that I was in the bathroom clearing my head and that I am ready to work with Ryura.

“Rin—“

“It’s fine, I can handle it ” I told her before moving back to Ryura who was too busy meditating.

I watched as he was trying to avoid human contact, he had no problem pretending I wasn’t there when I sat down and he had no problem pretending the last five minutes didn’t happen. I watched as his eyes  opened slowly and stared to the ceiling as a distraction but I noticed how empty and lonely they looked. 

“Loneliness can lead to despair with no hope…I’ve seen what it’s done to people and I don’t want you to go through that” Jūra told me as we sat on top of his car that was parked in front of the beach. My shades pulled my hair back and rested on top of my head. He wanted to ask me something so we decided to meet on the beach to watch the sunset. My head rested on his shoulder, his fingers lanced with mine, I smile at the mere innocent action. We haven’t always been so clear on our feelings since I moved here but it never stopped us from hanging out and being one with life. It was the end of the summer but the start of our Sophomore year and I just wanted to go far away. He knew I had a war going on inside my mind but I never had the courage to tell him why.

“You don’t have to be alone Rin. When you’re with me, loneliness will be far from your mind” He promised I chewed my gum and looked down at my pale legs and then at my outfit that consisted of a flannel shirt, white shorts and converses. I wondered why he wanted to be with me when we are from different worlds.

“Be with me Rin” Jūra whispered through my thoughts, I turned to face him and I smiled.

“Okay” I replied and kissed him. It was the first time I kissed him, it was from my own free will.

 

Snapping out of my thoughts, I didn’t understand why I would think about that moment I had nearly a year ago . Grabbing a piece of paper out of my bag and a charcoal pencil I started to sketch out that same moment only this time I did it through the eyes of the guy. I drew the girl in his eyes but instead of showing her face I drew her hair over her face but still left the shades on top of her head and made her look away from him. After drawing the flannel shirt, shorts and converses; I drew his hand out to her showing how much he wanted to save her but I also drew another hand that was much darker and her hand going to the darkness.  I drew a small speech bubble that said: “Be with me”. After I was done drawing the scene I decided to put a caption the exact opposite of what it’s supposed to mean.

“He wanted to be with her but the war in her mind still made her chose loneliness” I heard.

I turned to see Ryura staring at the drawing I noticed how something flickered in his eyes as if this drawing hit home for him. And that’s the beauty in art everyone develop their own interpretations on how the piece conveys what they truly feel. But when I took the time to really look into Ryura’s eyes I noticed how his eyes didn’t have a spark of an idea or an interpretation. His eyes screamed pain; it was as if I drew the worst memory to life and displayed it for the world to see.

“Why would you…”

“Its just a moment I experienced with Jūra only I put what should have been said” I answered.

I didn’t understand why I would tell  Ryura my thoughts when all he ever does is be a complete ass to me. Turning to face him he was now staring at me instead finding that jerk look on his face; instead he looked shocked or scared I couldn’t distinguish between the two. I could never truly tell with his facial expressions because they could mean a million of things from the guy who doesn’t do emotions. Shaking my head I put the picture away but Ryura placed his hand over the photo.

“What are you going to do with the picture?” He asked.

I looked down at his hand which was centimeters away from mine; I know I should keep my ground but the proximity of our hands made my stomach churn. I felt my knees grow weak and my palms growing sweaty.

“I’m going to either throw it away or put it in my folder” I told him, slowly I bat my eyes before raising them to look at Ryura.

Our eyes locked towards one another just like the day when we first met and I couldn’t bring myself to look away. Something was forming between us; a hidden communication was forming between us. It was like he was allowing me to get close without having to put out or anything, it almost felt serene but when I thought about what he did to me and the pain I endured I moved my hand away.

“Why do you want to know” I asked hoping the topic would change.

“I was wondering if I could keep it; I really like the picture” He replied, I stared at him bewildered as ever.

“Why would I give you a photo after you just insulted me?” I asked.

“It reminds me of a girl I lost a long time ago” He whispered as he still stared at the picture.

Suddenly it was my turn to be stoic with my emotions, I figured he was probably talking about Asagi since he did date her. I realized the picture did bring a painful memory of his past I just never thought it would lead to what he’d say next: “I regret my actions from earlier, Rin”. Staring at Ryura I looked around for any hidden cameras when i couldn’t find anything I figured he was actually being sincere. Something deep inside me wanted to tell him that it was alright and that I forgave him but I just couldn’t bring myself to those words. Clearing my throat I wanted to move away from this topic and unto another one.

“I’m going to go find the headmaster to have this straighten out” I stated leaving him alone with the picture. I was determine to shake Ryura off once and get rid of Sesshomaru from my sight, this school was big enough for the both of us to never see each other. Which is a reason why I came to love the school, I could hide from the world and the world can hide from me. I knew the headmaster would be in my favor, I mean I was student body president and practically the face of the school. 

‘How could she say no to me?’ I thought.

“What do you mean no?” I yelled

“I stand by my decision Rin, you showed you have suppressed anger issues in the cafeteria yesterday”

“So there was a food fight and a small brawl I don’t see the reason why I am on this  shit list out, it is not like anyone got hurt” I answered.

“Ryūra broke his leg” 

“It’s not like anyone was sent to the hospital”

“He was escorted to the hospital for immediate care because the nurses couldn’t help him” She answered.

“Yeah, but it’s not like anyone got seriously hurt” I told her, She stared at me not buying it one bit.

“You’re not going to let me win this one huh?” I asked, the headmaster shook her head no before laying out my new schedule.

“You cannot honestly be mad at me for that?” I asked grabbing the schedule I noticed that some of my classes were switched.

‘What the hell is this?” I thought.

“Why do I see Sesshomaru on the roster for my clubs?” I asked

“He wanted some clubs that would look good on his transcript”

“That’s not true” The head master sighed.

“I get you were trying to defend the new kids but you didn’t have to throw a milk carton at the boy” she answered

“He asked for it”

“Might I remind you that you could have gotten an expulsion for bullying” She explained

“No one asked you to allow those kids to attend this school” I defended, sighing I knew there was no getting out of it.

“The Takahashi’s and Dragons are the school’s biggest donors so in order to keep our funding, and the peace. You are required  to sit next to Ryura in every class you share. As well as  spend all after school activities with Sesshomaru as well as sit next to him as well. Basically you are to spend every waking moment with the two”

“But I don't share any classes with Ryura” I pointed out

“Congratulations, you do now” 

“Excuse me?”

“Think of this as a new found icebreaker of reworking your issues” she explained, I rolled my eyes

‘So much for getting out of this’ I thought.

“Does that mean Sesshomaru has to help me with homecoming too?”

“All after school activities Rin” 

“This is bullshit, why do i have to hang out with Ryura and Sesshomaru?” I asked

“Goodbye Rin, I hope you enjoy getting to know your new found friends” She finished.

I was already escorted out before I could even get a word in, I knew there was no getting out of it since I am to sit next to him and share every single class with him. 

“This is utter bullshit” I muttered before heading to my next class lunch was right around the corner and I knew Jūra would not be there, since he does not want to see me. 

“So much for working on my relationship” I rolled my eyes, I could not believe I got handed the shit stick when it was those two idiots who wanted to start a fucking fight. 

Arriving to class I sat in the front like I normally do and started to think about Jūra, I just wished he wouldn’t be such a guy. I get catching me in a compromising position speaks volumes but my word should still have some weight to it. I tried to figure out a way to get him to hear me out fully and if he still doesn’t want to deal with me then I’ll take a break from our relationship. I was not going to force him into being with me and I wasn’t going to dwell on it, I want to be with someone who will hear both sides of the story and still make a rightful decision. 

“Today class we will be reenacting great lines” The professor announced, I rolled my eyes because that means I have no choice but to be partnered with Sesshomaru. 

“For the next week or so you will be rehearsing a scene together, use your artistic license and interpret it as your own” The professor continued, I wanted to strangle myself for fighting Ryūra and getting myself in this situation.

I turned to find Sesshomaru far away from me, which made me want to strangle him because he was going to make this more difficult than it needed to be.

‘Great, I have to be cordial to a guy who doesn’t even want to be near me’ i thought. 

“Rin is there a reason you’re not sitting next to Sesshomaru?”

‘Well word travels fast here’ I rolled my eyes to pick my things up and walk all the way over to Sesshomaru. Dropping all my things on the empty desk next to him I plopped myself in the seat and continued to listen to the professor while figuring out a way to talk to Jūra. The professor came around and started handing us a sheet of paper with the lies we will be acting.

“I selected a perfect selection for you lovely love birds” The professor said before handing us the paper.

“We’re not love birds” I answered as I looked at the paper I immediately did not wait to say “You’ve got to be kidding me” 

“Now these requests are non negotiable so don’t even try it” He stated while looking directly at me.

‘Great, not only do I have to work with Sesshomaru but I have to pick a poem by the greatest love poet: Pablo Neruda’ I thought.

“This literally cannot get worse” I whispered

“Oh and for those of you who have a love poet you will be inserting a kiss”

“I seriously need to learn not to speak so soon”

Dropping my head on the desk I literally wanted to die, not only am I suppose to win my boyfriend back but i need to explain to him I have to kiss Sesshomaru.

‘Could this get any worse?’ I thought.

“Oh and rehearsals start tomorrow” 

‘I literally need to learn not to think so soon’ I thought.

 

 

Chapter Text

“Someday, somewhere - anywhere, unfailingly, you'll find yourself, and that, and only that, can be the happiest or bitterest hour of your life.” 

Pablo Neruda

Chapter Four:

 

“I swear that professor hates me” I muttered while sitting in front of Ayame at lunch. Ever since he announced his stupid project I’ve been trying to get Sesshomaru to work with me. But all I get is ‘hm’, ’ningen’, ’this sesshomaru will not tolerate this’, I have seriously been debating if failing is worth it. I would rather fail then work with someone that I hate and hates me and to put the icing on top of the cake we have to kiss. As if I didn’t already have enough problems on my plate. She looked at me to see if I were okay and like the hundredth time I kept telling her I’m okay just annoyed that she left me. Ayame kept apologizing when she learned after she left me I nearly got raped but luckily I was saved by some demon that I didn’t recognized. Jakotsu, on the other hand was not speaking to Ayame because it was careless of her to leave me to get laid.

“What’s Wrong?” She asked

“I have to reenact a poem made by Pablo Neruda, and my partner is a dick” I groaned

“why not do a sad poem?” She asked, ever since i told her about my dilemma she took it upon herself to broadcast it to the entire gang. Which in turn earn me another silent treatment from Jūra after we finally got to a good place. 

“Which are about love, this man is a literal genius but it’s all love; and the professor made sure i don’t weasel my way out” I muttered while chewing on a few fries. 

I looked around for Jūra but he was no where to be found and I started to feel worried.

‘Is he really avoiding me?’ I thought.

“Jūra decided to skip lunch today?” Ayame asked, I didn’t want her to know that we were having problems already then it would be the topic around here.

“You know him, always want to use the time to perfect his craft” I lied before stuffing my face with fries.

“We remained undefeated and we are going to state finals, how much does he want to practice. I mean it’s throwing a catching a ball” 

“Lacrosse has a lot to it” I told her.

“Thank god I just have to cheer to these things without really caring” 

“Hey did you find a place for the the Halloween party?” I asked hoping to change the subject. 

“Hmm?” She took a break from shoving her delicate face with greens to look at me, I was always curious how she managed to maintain a conversation without actually listening. 

“Halloween party, remember that you wanted to throw a huge rave?” I asked, when she showed no sign of recognizing what I was talking about I knew I had to do this all alone.

“Ayame, I asked you to do one freaking thing” I scolded 

“In my defense I had a lot on my plate”
“Partying until your liver stops is not a legitimate excuse” 

“In some countries—“

“Enough with the bullshit Ayame, all you had to do was find a venue so I can organized the rest, do you know how hard it’s going to be to find a venue last minute with a party literally a month away?”

“Kami how can you be so absent minded?” 

I didn’t wait to hear her excuse nor did I wanted to hear what she had to say, I simply grabbed my empty tray and headed over to the library. It pissed me off how careless Ayame can be especially when she’s been advertising this party. I would have cancelled the whole thing if people hadn’t already bought their tickets and all money would go to the damn Homecoming dance. Sometimes I find myself regretting for taking on so much without truly thinking all possibilities or outcomes. Suddenly I started to feel my chest tightening and my vision slowly begging to blur. Air was barely getting through to me and it was hard to take a minute to breathe when the world was crashing down to me.

“Shit” I whispered, I made it to the library only to hide between a places on would ever think to look. In between the encyclopedias and other older books that no one would dare to look for. Sitting in the corner, I tried her hardest to hold in my emotions. I squeezed my palms harder than I ever did causing me to bleed profusely, I watched as the blood escaped my body. It was bad enough to have so much pressure to be perfect and to also execute everything perfectly. It was so too much pressure but I tried to keep it together; unfortunately, I failed miserably once the first tear escaped my eye.

“Rin?”  Ryūra called out, I felt everything stop inside of me I did not expect anyone to find me or follow me. I  started to scramble everything around me in order to get myself together. If anyone me in tears or that I hurt myself then it will travel not only around the school but the headmaster and my image would be tarnished. The last thing I need is the whole world finding out that I can easily break. Drying the last of my pity tears, I pulled out the first book that is close to me and pretended to read it. I flinched when I pressed the books on my open wound but I had to keep it together. 

“Rin?” Ryūra called out walking towards my direction I found myself getting nervous, but I didn’t know why it was his fault I was left in the dark with Jūra. 

‘Why am I getting nervous over Ryūra?’ I thought. Maybe it was from yesterday in the art room it was so weird how moody he can be. Then he ask to keep my drawing which I never took him to be a collector.  I looked up from the book to see the stubborn blue haired boy, who always got under my skin.  He was dressed in his uniform but he had a boot on his foot which made me feel worse about my actions. Looking back I wondered why did he let me win so easily, Ryūra always demolished me in one move but that incident at the cafe was different. It was like he held back and barely tried, I remember whenever I fought him I would go home with bruises and broken bones.

‘Why did you go easy on me’ I thought as I looked into those fiery red eyes, his fair skin glowed under the florescent lights which only made his presence all more haunting.  His  scheming red  eyes looked so different today, normally they would look dull but today they looked worried.

‘What’s on your mind Ryūra?’ . 

“Hey Ryūra, what’s up?” I smiled, while trying to casually tried to stay calm. Any hint of my emotions haywire then it’s constantly being watched over like a hawk with no room to breathe. Ryūra’s piercing glare started to make me shift my body weight, ever since we met, Ryūra’s dominance loomed over me in an uncomfortable way. He didn’t care that it bothered me it wasn’t until I slowly started to show equal dominance like I wasn’t afraid of him for him to back off. However today  I couldn’t do it, I looked down hoping he would leave me alone and not tell Jūra or Jakotsu. 

“Spill your guts Yamamoto ” Ryūra demanded, whenever Ryūra knows something is going on he would say my last name not giving me any room to back out. I smiled at my boyfriend’s aggressive best friend it was somewhat assuring that with Ryūra I couldn’t hide but there were times it was annoying.

“I wanted to catch up on my reading” I replied.

“Really?” Ryūra asked, I can hear the sarcastic tone in his voice but I brushed it off.

“You know me the intelligent book worm” I  answered “How else would I get into Harvard?” 

“By reading a book from the eighties?” Ryūra pointed out. I looked at the spine of the book to see that it is really a book from the eighties.

“How did you—“

“Call it a lucky guess, Rin were you crying?” Ryūra questioned.

I immediately stayed quiet, I looked everywhere but him.

“No, I just had something in my eye” I  answered.

“Oh Really?” Ryūra questioned, he folded her arms while lifting his eyebrow to show me how that statement is complete and utter bullshit.

“Ryūra you know the books here are super old and dusty; so the dust got in my eye” I  defended. Ryūra still did not believe me, to him I am like an open book: easy to read and not that hard to figure out. When I didn’t say anything else he grabbed my hands to see the dried blood mixed with dirt. 

“Stupid Ningen” was all Ryūra said before ripping a piece of his shirt off he did his best to clean my wounds before covering them with another piece of his shirt. I was shocked by his actions but he stood up and pretended nothing happened just now. 

‘You’re always saving me, why is that?’ I let my mind wonder why is this demon being so nice to me in secret when all I’ve been is a raging perfectionist. 

“Well, it is almost the end of the day; Jūra wanted me to drag you back before you miss an entire day of school” Ryūra stated. 

I  grabbed my things and stood up only to be dangerously close to the guy I could never truly hide from. Looking into his eyes I felt something churn inside making me feel so vulnerable in front of him but Ryūra assured me that my little ‘secret’ would be between us.

“How’s the leg?” I asked

“It will be better tonight, you know how us demons heal” He answered, I giggled from his attempt at a joke and lightly punched him on the shoulder.

“It was times I wished i was one” I answered, we stared at each others eyes 

I should have freaked out being so close to Ryūra like this but I continued looking in his eyes. I thought they were fully red but I saw specks, I couldn’t really put my finger on it but it made Ryūra look more…humble. 

“Unique” I breathed out, I tried to cover my mouth before I let it slipped out but I was too late, those words were already floating in the air and I am positive they reached Ryūra’s ears, because a spark of amusement flashed through those unique eyes.

‘Why did I say that out loud’ I wanted to die in a hole, I didn’t know what came over me but I needed words to be said before a panic attack approaches, I hate uncomfortable situations and I hate silence when words should be said.

“I need a life” I muttered, silently smacking myself I still did not know what came over me to say that. Looking up I noticed Ryūra smile and then an idea sparked inside those mischievous eyes of his.

‘He’s never going to let this one down’ I thought.

“Let’s go Rin” was all he said as he ushered me out of the library. I silently prayed that tomorrow we forget this ever happened and go back to hating each other. I was not truly comfortable with this caring side of Ryūra and I don’t think I’ll ever be. 

-o-

 

I felt the vigorous sun kissing my neck as we rolled in the meadow of Sweet alyssums, daises, wild flowers, lily of the valley and the wisteria flowers covering us from the sun as it tries to peak through to get a hold of my skin again. We were wrestling based on a smart comment on his behalf, I told him to take it back but he refused so I tackled him, as we rolled through the sweet-smelling abyss we stopped by the creek with him on top of me winning; I always underestimate his strength, he never fully displays it around me since he treats me like fragile glass. I hate it when he treats me like glass it makes me feel weak and worse, not his equal but his inferior thing. 

“Stop letting those wheels turn” He whispered, his nose tickled the crook of my neck he pinned both my hands above my head so he can have better access, I tried to enjoy it but my mind is too focused on my abilities as a human. My lifespan is not that long, besides it is not like I am invincible or anything I am just a plain ole human being that bleeds easily when I fall. As his intoxicating ghostly kisses imprints my skin my mind slowly started to reel away from my fragile state and back to the demon who is seducing me without even trying.

“You play an unfair game” I whispered, his thin lips were pressed against each other to give me one soft seductive smirk but it quickly vanished because his body is not used to such emotions so when he is capable of showing it I have to look very fast for it will only last less than a minute. As he hovered over my face he leaned towards my forehead planted a soft kiss, and moved to my left cheek to repeat the same action, as he reached to my eyes his, he stared into my murky brown ones and we communicated a language that is too good for words. My greatest fears that I tried so hard to hide from him by guarding them behind my strong exterior walls slipped passed me like the wind and transformed as his fears. All my insecurities my sadness vanished into thin air and floated far away as I looked into his eyes, and once he was done stripping me away from the bad he started kissing me so the good can settle in. 

“I promised you before Rin, I will always save you no matter what” He whispered, his trails of kisses finally found its destination, as our lips played against each other in a sweet passion and erotic dance, his hands disappeared one in my hair the other to the hem of my blouse. My fingers slipped through his beautiful silky white hair, it was so easy getting lost in him he made me feel safe, feel like home is never too far as long as I am intertwine with him. He always takes away the fears for me, when I feel like I am not good enough to be on his side he makes me forget, just how I make him forget he is not a monster but a man, a man with a heart of pure gold. The universe never wanted us to be devoted to one another because once we are together we will never part, when I am with him I feel wild and completely and utterly free like I can run in the woods with my hair flowing and no clothes committed to my body without a care in the world. What is happening between us is more than just some physical connection it is much deeper than that. It is a gravitational force pulling us together forming a bond between the two of us and I did not want to fight it I just wanted to feel it. Feel it like a lover would feel her body with the lights on, such intimacy that one is not afraid to explore with confidence, and strength, that nothing is more important than to melt into your partner because you are finally whole.

“You’re always saving me” I whispered through our kiss, he makes a grunt and continues kissing me, it is his own way of telling me to stop worrying about it. As I pushed him down so I could be on top and I stared into his eyes, I started to get lost in him again I thought back on the time we played piano together in the meadows; I would close my eyes and float with each note in the sky on the musical sheet clouds, I paint such a vivid picture inside as my fingers touched the white keys, serenity hugs me close while passion whispers in my ears about the strong deep bars of this piece. I can taste the delight of sunshine and the cool waters of mystery in that song; I can hold its wonders in the palm of my hands, watching it unfold like a flower on a spring day. My shoulders begin to relax as I delve more into the mystery; my hunger for excitement expands as the sounds get louder and progress more, but as my fingers slow down my dream and the clouds slowly begin to fade away and I start to fall from the beautiful cloud nine into my body again as solidify myself back to be waken for the first time. Opening my eyes from the curtains before me I am in front of the piano and my beautiful fantasy is over. It felt like magic, pure and wholly sweet magic when I play with him; I just forget the world and only lay with him as it swallows us whole. It is then I realized for the first time of my life I am in control of everything including my fate and I had fallen dangerously and irrevocably in love with him. As he kissed my lips to awaken me, our tangled perilous matter separated from each other.

“It’s time to wake up” he whispered in my ear, I shook my head to refuse his words from coming true. I hated this part more than anything, I hated waking up. He is the first honest thing that ever made me feel so alive in the world, for the first time in seventeen years I am not alone, I am somewhere that I truly belong to. When we met the first time I tried so hard not to get attached but it was hard. I wanted only to be with him.

“Please don’t make me do this, I don’t want to be alone” I whispered, heartbroken tears started to fall on top of his face I saw how his image started to ripple, I was being ripped away from the man that made me feel. I tried hugging him tighter hoping if I wake up we would wake up together in each other’s arms but he pushed me away because he knew my heart would suffer from the results.

“I love you Rin” he whispered in my ear as he gives me one final kiss, I could not breath out the words back because my sadness took the chance to get in the way and rip me out his arms to bring me back to reality. 

“Ahhh” I yelled, I looked around only to see that I was alone in my room, I ran into my bathroom to splash cold water on my face. I didn’t understand why I had that dream especially with him. Shaking those thoughts out I didn’t want to dwell on it any longer because it didn’t mean anything. 

“you’re happy with your boyfriend, it’s normal to dream about other people. It doesn’t necessarily mean anything” I whispered before crawling back into bed silently praying that I would have a dreamless night. 

Waking up I honestly did not feel like getting out of bed, it’s been a week since they have come here and I feel like my world has been shaken. 

“It’s like I can never get what I want” I whispered. I placed my headphones in my ears listening to the smiths “Please, Please, Please let me get what I want” praying to Kami that there will be a slight chance I will get what I finally dreamed about with my heart. But I knew it is a long shot because nothing ever happens to the one that dreams about it the most with all their heart. I just hope I do not get all mopey and depressed about it.

Tick.Tock.Tick.Tock.Tick.Tock

Staring at my ceiling all I can hear right now is the sound of the miniature grandfather clock going tick tock downstairs.  I don’t know how long I’ve been in my room but I didn’t really care. I made no attempt to move from this spot, except to stare at the ceiling and hear the clock going tick tock. I can hear a bunch of cheerful and happy kids playing around in the “quad  so that means it’s probably morning, shrugging the feeling of knowing the type of day it is, I focused my attention back on the ceiling. I probably look like a depressed, seventeen year old brown eyed, pale skinned girl who likes to wear black and listen to sappy depressing songs because it feels so—well sappy. Shrugging the feeling I just stared at the ceiling with a box of Kleenex to the left of me and a pillow on the right. I probably look like a depressed, heartbroken seventeen year old brown eyed, pale skinned girl who likes to wear black and listen to depressing yet sappy songs because it feels—like my exact mood.

“Rin Yamamoto, get out of your room now!” a masculine voice yelled I grabbed the closet thing I could find which happens to be the Kleenex and threw it at the door as a sign to leave the animals when in mourning.

“Leave me alone!” I yelled, I knew it wasn’t Jūra because he would have barged in. Lately I haven’t really been seeing much of Jūra but that’s probably because he is working his ass off to be in top shape for the state championship. 

Hearing the door unlock shows just how much that person does not give a crap about me, I specifically made it clear that i wanted to be alone in my room. I needed the time so I can reinvent myself and try to start a whole new life but what do I get, an intruder who barges in.

“Now it’s been five whole hours we haven’t heard a word from you—“

“Save me the ‘we we’re worried about you’ speech Jakotsu” I interrupted grabbing my pillow, propping it over my face silently praying to kami he would go away.

“No Rin—“

“Ugh, why can’t they go to another school in New York, why did they have to come here” muffling it through the pillow silently praying to Kami to just kill me right about now.

“Rin , we’ve been invited to dinner by the Takahashi’s” Ayame stated,

“I’m not going” I answered

“But it’s thrown by the Takahashi and it’s social suicide not to go” Jakotsu answered

“Yes, but if Sesshomaru is going to be there, I’d rather sit this one out” 

“You won’t have to worry about him, he never really goes to his house, plus Inuyasha promised us that he won’t be there” Ayame added.

“Since when are you friends with them?” I asked no words came from them and before I could ask again, I felt the covers being ripped right from me. 

“That’s it young lady, you are going to change your attitude and get ready for this charity banquet we are required to go to tonight, no mishaps, no mischief and no attitude do you hear me Rin?”

“Crystal” I replied he shook her head and headed out of the room to allow me to get ready for this stupid charity banquet. Good thing he said nothing about bringing a little chaos along with me to the banquet, I just hope these rich people have the nearest Hospital on speed dial.

“ugh, so much for staying away” I muttered.

Jakotsu threw a dress my way hoping it would at least make me feel somewhat better even if it’s for a second. When I looked at the dress my breath of literally taken away from me, He has out done himself. It is a beautiful short strapless dress, rich oxblood sheer ombre dress. Not wasting a second to slip it on; strapping the blood red gladiator sandal heels, I felt like a goddess a fiery red phoenix goddess who is rising from the ashes. The dress made my ethereal pale skin glow more, I slipped the red ruby earrings on along with the matching cuff bangle with the ruby gem in the middle of the golden band. 

“You are about to rise from the ashes again, Rin” Jakotsu whispered, I smiled at him and took a minute to fix my hair. I decided to do an ‘s’ curl pattern for my hair that way I look elegant as well as enchanting. Ayame and Jakotsu looked at me impressed by my beauty I couldn't help but recall the moment how my biological would always pick out my clothes and make sure I’d look my best despite my protests. Her words still ring in my ears: “Rin Darling, you are the most beautiful girl in the universe I am just doing my mothering duties by making sure the world sees it” As we head inside the limo, I kept recalling my mother’s words and everything we use to do together before she died.  I bit my cheek making sure I wouldn’t cry not in front of my friends before they shower me with pity calling it sympathy. 

 Once we arrived at the beautiful hotel-like mansion my thoughts vanished, I mentally prepared myself now that I know Sesshomaru lives here and how he likes to have his ‘private parties’. I needed to mentally make sure that I avoid him at all cost to avoid a scene. As we rode up the stairs. Everyone from the school was paired up with someone and I was pretty much alone,

“Have you guys seen Jūra?”

“He said he was sitting this one out, sorry love” I smiled and told him it didn’t bother me. 

I could never get boys, Kaede always said that the right one will find me and when he does he will protect me no matter what, it is such a shame she didn’t see my generation in time before telling me this. Jūra and I would normally attend fancy parties together but tonight I would be riding solo. Lately he’s been so distant and I’m worried that i’m pushing him away with my antics of perfection.  Grabbing a flute of champagne I started to roam around admiring the beauty that never cease to amaze me, I felt as if I were falling in love with the house each time my eyes laid on a beautiful but expensive painting or the carefully picked furniture. One thing for sure, the Takahashi’s have exquisite taste for the finer and richer things in life.

“Rin?” I heard my name, turning around to the voice it was none other than Ryura presented to me in a beautiful tailored black suit.

“Ryura” I was excited to see yet another familiar face in this ocean of wealthy blue bloods. I wanted to hug him to show my excitement, but i caught myself and playfully punched his shoulders. I especially did not want to be close to him before he inspects any more injuries on my body.  I thought I would have to go exploring again and might catch another show of somebody’s “private party”. He wrapped his strong arms around me hugging me tight as he sniffed my hair. The champagne must have gotten to my head because I did not mind that he held me so close to his body where if one breathed the other would feel it; it actually felt nice being held and not judged for once. It felt real good being held in reality, I must be really desperate to enjoy and want another’s touch but I did not care. Clearing my throat hoping to break this awkward tension between us.

“I won’t break Ryura, you can let me go” I stated, he whispered sorry as he slowly let me go. He took the time to look at my outfit and drink me in.

“You look exquisite Rin” I felt myself blush from his compliment.

‘What the hell Rin!’ I mentally slapped myself.

“I didn’t peg you as the type of guy who compliments” 

“There’s a lot of things you don’t know about me Rin” He answered before walking away.

I honestly hated that he would do this, he would always disappear after giving me a cliff hanger line. Walking around, I nearly forgot how beautiful Sesshomaru’s house looks. There were at least three chandeliers horizontally across from each other in the middle was a grand staircase and to the left and right were massive rooms filled with exceedingly zealous pompous wealthy people.  Heading towards the kitchen I knew the servants would be stationed there chit chatting amongst themselves. Arriving discreetly, I took the servants stairs that way I am able to explore without being seen nor heard.  I always did this whenever I would go over Sesshomaru’s house because I felt his place was an adventure on its own. As I reached the final stairs, I looked in every room deeply impressed by the changes, a room filled with electronics, a room filled with trophies and more than the eye can see. I walked to the final door where I know for a fact has to be a library because it was my favorite room in the entire house. 

“What are you doing at my house” I hear, I turned around to see none other than Sesshomaru looking like a Greek god in his tux staring down at me with anger in his eyes. I made a mental note to kill Ayame and Jakotsu for lying to me. Looking at Sesshomaru, I could see that he my guts for reasons I will never understand or know. 

“I was invited because we go to the same school, so get used to seeing me often asshole” I answered, I started walking away because I refuse to deal with another confrontation especially with him.

“Father is such a weakling to invite a ningen” I was beginning to think Ningen is his own personal way of insulting me. I know it means human but Sesshomaru held such a distain for humans I use to think I was the exception. But later along the years I learned that Sesshomaru is nothing but a lying asshole. 

“Funny, because I could have sworn for a spilt second you weren’t being an asshole, my mistake you already are” I stated walking towards the pool I heard him follow me he turned me around so he could speak his mind yet again. A piece of me wanted to leap in his arms and remind him that he promised to protect me when another part of me wants to scream at him for being nothing but a bully to me; every day he would constantly remind me how much he hates me and wishes my kind would disappear off the face of the earth.

"Listen here you incompetent brat, you moved to this Sesshomaru's territory, you think you can own this place with a few cheap words?" He asked, he stood dangerously close, provoking me into a rage of the unknown. He has been nothing but an ass to me for the pass week after we were assigned to be lab partners and I just happened to school him in quantum physics.

“What happened to us Sesshomaru” I whispered, I looked up I must have surprised him with my answer but the truth was I felt tired. It was so exhausting always keeping a role that held constant pressure. I remember when we were ‘friends’ it felt so easy being free but now its like have a constant target on your back. 

"I want to know why" I told him. He looked at me not breaking our sudden gaze between us. He sighed slightly aggravated that he must explain himself once more.

"Why what Rin?"

"You know what I am talking about Sesshomaru so don't try to play dumb with me" I answered. He sighed once more not in the mood to deal with this but i had to know, i needed to know if it were my fault or if he just did it for sick kicks. I knew I should have let the past go but I honestly couldn’t because it keeps me up at night. When he didn’t answer me I started to feel aggravated, he was wasting my time looking at me without giving me so much as an answer. 

"Rin what happen to you" He asked "You changed fo—"

"Life" I cut him off, shifting my feet in my heels and trying to grasp my sobriety level for whatever I had left. After Three flutes of champagne who knows what might come out of my mouth. 

"Life happened to me, because a bastard whom I thought was my friend lied to me and embarrassed me" I explained he did not show the slightest emotion but I could tell from the flicker of his eyes that he realized what he’s done wasn’t something I could easily let go. I felt a million emotions and one of them being to cry my heart out for having this bastard hurt me to the point where I can no longer know what feeling is like.

"You don't deserve my tears Sesshomaru, and you have the nerve—no, you have the balls to ask me what happened to me" I continued. 

"Then you must only think about yourself then"

"Rin I never met to do it" He tried to explain. I smashed the glass in my hands not caring if it cut me and I started to bleed right on my dress.

"Shut the fuck up" I told him my anger came out I could not handle another lie that would come out of his mouth.

"I am not the same Rin you knew Sesshomaru; I will not believe the lie that will fly out of your ass"

"Rin—Listen"

"No- you- listen Sesshomaru, I’m not your friend anymore” I yelled. I got up and walked away with the need to drink something stronger but I stopped in my tracks to get one more thing off my chest. 

"Actually no, I don't need a few words to knock your pompous ass off your freaking high horse" I answered, without thinking, I pushed him off the ledge so he could fall into his deep pool. Squatting low enough for him to see my face looking directly at his, I smiled.

"All I need to do is catch you off your guard when you least expect it...asshole" I answered, raising up I walked back inside knowing that Jakotsu would be  worried where I ran off to after my disappearing act. I could not believe I pushed him in the pool but he had it coming and to be honest it felt so damn good, it did not entirely take off the weight off my shoulders but it was a small start.

“You will wish you’d never did that” he threaten he was in front of me in a blink of an eye. I looked at the pool and to the spot in front of me that he is standing. 

“I honestly don’t care anymore Sesshomaru“ I asked, he is dripping wet after having a quick dip in the pool but he ran so fast in front of me in a blink of an eye. Walking past him I walked back inside only to have my boyfriend finally in front of me.

“There you are” Jūra was happy to see me but I realized that I smashed a glass in my hand. Walking to the bathroom I knew I would catch hell for ignoring him like that but it was only fair since he’s been doing the same. 

“Rin!” I heard him call out, I knew I should have stopped and talked to him but I honestly needed to clean my hands before I’m caught.

“Rin, we need to talk” I heard Jūra call out sighing out loud I stopped my tracks to turn to him.

“whatever we need to talk about, can it wait five minutes?” I asked

“Rin we’ve been at a stand still for a week and some time and I think that we should—“

“Are you breaking up with me?” I asked, I started to feel my chest tightening, he can’t break up with me. Not when everything is crumbling around me, I can’t handle another piece of bad news. If anything I need my boyfriend more than ever, as my support and crunch until I can pick the pieces and restore them again.

“Rin”

“Are you shitting me?” I asked

When he didn’t say anything I had a feeling he was honestly going to break up with me.

“NO you do not get to break up with because I came out of Sesshoamaru’s room when I keep telling you I was drugged. I was nearly raped and someone saved me and the rest is fuzzy but I ended up in his room” I yelled.

“I have done nothing but be the perfect girlfriend, I always wore the right clothes and said the right stuff and made sure you always looked good” I didn’t stop, it was like vomit once you start there is no telling when it will end.

“I stayed up all night making sure your grades were subpar so you can stay on the team, and I had to study on top of that. I always made sure I made time for you, I went to all your games and even baked your teammate cookies for your away games. So no you do not have the right to break up with me; if anything I should break—“

“Rin I was going say I think we should start over, clean slate” he interrupted, I felt the blood rush to my cheeks. 

‘Well this is awkward’ I thought, I turned around and headed to the nearest bathroom hoping to clean my wounds. I felt so stupid exploding on Jūra like that, I felt so much pressure on me that I could not contain it any longer. I felt like a pressure cooker, I kept so much hot air in me who knows when I will finally snap. I tried picking out any glass that stayed hidden in my wound but I couldn’t really pick it out. Looking for a some tweezers, I was really unsuccessful in my search. 

Knock. Knock

“Someone is in here” I called out but that didn’t stop the person from opening the door. Before I could get a word out I was face to face in front of a certain wet white hair demon. 

“Sesshomaru, fancy meeting you here” I breathed out, I was hoping I’d never see him after my ‘badass’ moment. I felt the need to say something but before I could get a word out, he grabbed my hand and inspected it. I felt exposed by his actions, I snatched my hand back not ready for him to fully see my hands. I had one demon do it I was not ready for another one.

“Give me your hand Rin” he commanded, not breaking his eyes from me I twisted my body side to side hoping to waste his time.

“Ningen!” He growled, goosebumps rose from my skin causing my organs to flip and shiver. Giving him my hand again he inspected it and picked the glass out with his nails before placing it in the water. Gently squeezing some soap in my hand, Sesshomaru massaged around the wounds. I shivered from his touch not expecting this gentle side of a demon, he rinsed my hand once more and grabbed a dry towel to wrap it. Air was not entering inside my body as I looked at him it was too surreal how gentle he was being.

“Wha—“

No words could describe what just happened, I walked out hoping never to speak of this. Sadly I bumped into Jūra who only made me want to wish I stayed in the bathroom much longer.

“There you are I’ve been—“

Sesshomaru came out to hover around me, Jūra looked at us and already I could see those wheels beginning to turn. 

“What are you doing here” He asked, his voice belted out the entire house the room grew silent.

“Its my house” Sesshomaru answered but I knew that was not the question he was asking.

‘Is it possible to catch a break’ I thought, suddenly we were surrounded by all the kids from Saint Lady Kanade. 

“Are you serious Rin?” Jūra asked “With this mutt?”

“Are you that desperate for attention?”

I could not believe what I am hearing, how could he possibly know what happened between us. All Sesshomaru did was patch my wound which he caused me to have in the first place. I knew if I said that then I’d have to reveal my hands which will reveal the wounds and goodbye Harvard and Hello psych ward. 

“Jūra, I suggest you chose your next actions carefully” Sesshomaru stated, he walked in front of me blocking me from the scene and anything else that may happen.

“Well if it isn’t InuTashio’s proud Inu daiyokai son coming to save a ningen” he replied, Sesshomaru did not let the supposed insult to faze him instead he just seemed calm and held me behind him making sure I would not see anything or that I would not move.

“Listen here pup, what goes on between me and my girlfriend is between us, I suggest that you move out of my way and let me deal with that Ningen” he replied. 

‘Ningen?’ I thought, Sesshomaru’s grip on my arms tighten, snapping out of my thoughts I just realize that he is touching me after countless times he reminded me how much he would rather die than to touch my kind, yet here he is touching my bear arms with his hands that were incredibly smooth and soft. Something inside me sparked, his touch literally lit my skin on fire and turned my organs into mush, it felt like the fourth of July mixed with rapture; like the dream finally became a reality and to my luck my life had to be threatened, for him to touch me. I wanted to melt in his arms and tell him to take me away but I remembered that my social life is being threatened at the moment.

“Jūra, Sesshomaru was simply helping me with a cut on my hand” I told him

“And I’m suppose to believe that bullshit?” 

“How many times I have to tell you that there is nothing between Sesshomaru and I”

“I didn’t expect you to be this slutty—“

“I suggest that if you value your life you will leave this party” Sesshomaru interrupted , he sounds so calm yet deadly at the same time, I noticed how a few people visibly gulp by his threat.

‘Is no one really not going to do anything?’ I thought. I would have jumped in but my hands were stinging from too much pain this past week between me and the glass tonight. I had to sit this one out and with Sesshomaru’s grip on me I knew I couldn’t do anything even if I tried. 

“I thought you hated her, why all of a sudden you’re protecting Rin. Did you fall for a ningen like your father…as the saying goes like father like son” Jūra stated, that must of been the tipping point because Sesshomaru started shaking and his grip dug into my skin. I could not believe my ears, Jūra was being hurtful towards me. He was practically insulting me forgetting the fact that we are dating and I have no interest in Sesshomaru no matter how good his touch felt. 

“Sesshomaru, you’re hurting me” I told him but he ignored me.

“Sesshomaru he’s not worth it” A man stated, he too have beautiful white hair and golden eyes, he also had jagged markings across his face but they were not like Sesshomaru’s, he only had one blue jagged shape on each cheek while Sesshomaru had two on each cheek. 

Sesshomaru’s grip lessen on my arms, which I know will bruise by tomorrow but luckily for me it will be the weekend after tomorrow and I will not have to see any of these weirdos until Monday of course. Jūra walked out of the room, InuTashio told everyone to continue what they were doing and to go into the dining hall for dinner is finally served. Talk about dinner and a show. Me, on the other hand, I was too shaken up by this I needed to go home and take one long nap or perhaps a long soak in the hot springs after what just happened. Sesshomaru finally released my arms, and once again treated me like the plague he always assumes that I am.

‘Bi-polar asshole’.

“Rin, I saw everything are you okay?” Jakotsu asked, he hugged me and told me that everything is okay, and that I shouldn’t be scared. Was I scared? I started to feel my body shake in pure delight but to others it said otherwise but on the inside I did not feel scared because I felt safe when Sesshomaru shield me away from my boyfriend who became deranged. In fact I felt confused, one minute Jūra wanted to start over and now I think it’s back to the silent treatment. Turning my head I notice how Sesshomaru started intently at Jakotsu hugging me, I do not know why it bothered me or made me feel guilty but I cleared my throat for Jakotsu to let me go so I could fix myself.

“Yeah, no I’m fine I’m just shaken up by all this; I think I should go home to lay down” I answered, I saw Ayame rush up to me asking me if I am okay and I told  her the same thing I told Jakotsu.

“Are you sure, do you want us to come with you?” She asked I shook my head no.

“I’m sure I will find a ride home, you two enjoy the party and I’ll see you home soon” I told them before giving them a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

“Do you want me to take you home Rin?” Ryura offered, I smiled ready to tell him yes please but I felt a hand tug me out the door before I could even breathe a word. When I looked up I saw it was none other than Sesshomaru dragging me like rag doll to one of their many expensive cars to take me home.

“I didn’t ask you to take me and you don’t need to feel obligated to take me home, I could have easily found my own way home” I explained, waiting for him to give me something back all he said before shoving me inside the car and sitting in the driver’s seat to drive me home was “Hn”.