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Ouma Kokichi: Phantom Thief

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“You know,” Kokichi starts as though they’re not supposed to working on a class project, “I’ve always wanted to be a phantom thief.”

Shuichi can only stop, lifting his head up from the computer screen to stare with his eyebrow raised. “And how would that be any different than what you usually do?”

“How dare you make such cruel accusations!” He said with a fake gasp. “I have never stolen a single thing in my life! And even if I did there is absolutely no prove saying otherwise.” Tilting his head back to stare at the ceiling with a hand on his forehead as if he were staring in a shitty soap opera. “If I did steal things, which I don’t, then I wouldn’t be a phantom thief anyways. Stealing like that is all stealthy and quiet. A phantom thief has flair. An entrancing mystery as you wonder how someone so amazing could get away with such dangerous acts.”

“Well, you do have a love for drama.”

“You say that as if you don’t, Mr. Super-Serious-Detective. I know about those books you have hidden in your dorm. Which, by the way, are all about romance with this exact scenario. Face it, you love the idea of a phantom thief just as much as I do. You’d just rather be the pursuer than the pursued.”

Shuichi blushed, ducking his head as if to hide behind his now missing hat. “My book preference has nothing to do with this. All I’m saying is that you’re practically a phantom thief already with all the nonsense you get up too.”

“Pssh, you have no imagination. Just picture it, me a masked stranger dancing through the night. You a determined detective trying to end my reign of thievery before I can steal something truly irreplaceable, only to end up stealing your heart.”


“You’re no fun. At least I’m just imagining it rather than actually doing it. As if a little thievery would be beyond the SHSL Supreme Leader.”

“Just get back to work, please,” he says before turning back to his computer, “This paper isn’t going to write itself.”

“Fine fine. As you wish, my beloved detective.”


Shuichi’s dream ends up something like this.

“Nishishishi. Looks like I’ve caught you, Mr. Detective,” the masked thief says with a laugh. Stepping closer to admire his handiwork, he fingers the ropes keeping Shuichi bound. “You really should be more observant. You’re lucky it’s me who caught you, my followers might not be so... kind.

Shuichi struggles, pulling against the binds only to sag when he feels no give. He’s walked himself into a mess this time, the most he can do is stall and wait for help. “I don’t believe anyone could describe you as kind. More like a purple menace.”

The thief leans back with an exaggerated gasp while placing his hands over his heart. “How dare you make such cruel accusations. I am nothing like a menace. Rather I’m simply liberating lovely items back to where they belong.”

“So what? They belong with you?”

“Better than in some stuffy museum or mansion where no one can appreciate them,” he says with a shrug. “At least I take proper care of them, which is better than all of those fools.”

“And the pieces that end up on the market?”

“Forgeries and fakes, nothing more nothing less. You know you’re rather lovely yourself. Considering that your little chase has cost me my target,” he says, putting a finger under the detective’s chin lifting his head up to meet amethyst eyes with a dangerous glint.

“Why don’t I steal you instead?”

Shuichi reared back, eyes wide and mouth gaping. “Did you just- You just- What?!”

His smirk gets wider, although seeming to lack the expected mocking edge. “A little tongue tied? Not too unexpected, even I couldn’t have expected to make an offer like that.”

“Then why did you make it?!”

“We were talking about stealing treasures, and anyone with eyes would classify you as a treasure.”

“You- You’re just making fun of me, aren’t you?”

Letting out a chuckle he smiles, “Don’t pout now, not playing games. Not playing games right now at least. You truly are beautiful.”

The sound of sirens in the distance could be considered a blessing, even if only because it knocks some sense back into Shuichi.

“You… That doesn’t matter! You aren’t getting away with this, and you certainly aren’t getting away with- with me!” Shuichi is sure that his face is far too red for this situation, but he powers on anyways. “All you’re doing is making things worse for yourself. The best thing you can do now is let me go.”

Finally stepping away from his captive, Kokichi offers a shrug. “Really? I can think of something even better to do…”

“You-,” Shuichi’s words are cut off by a pair of lips with a searing kiss. He goes rigid with shock, but relaxes before he can think.

All too soon the kiss has ended, the thief stepping away with a flair of his cape. “You know, my beloved detective, if it’s you I might not mind being caught. But not tonight I’m afraid. See you soon, dear.”

Through some method, Shuichi’s bindings release the moment his captor has stepped through the window to lose himself in the night.

Rubbing at the light bruises from the ropes, he gets to his feet before stepping to the window to look out as if he could see where the other had gone.



Shuichi ended up spending a fair bit of the next morning looking out of it with a blush, his classmates were nice enough to not point it out.

Kokichi, on the other hand, could only smile, hoping the other had as nice a dream as he did.