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AO3, My Love! You will Love me too!

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You love AO3 so much.

So much…

Probably too much.

Definitely too much for it to be a platonic love anymore.

AO3 will definitely love you too.  You’re sure of it.


You’ve thought about waiting, but you assume there is so much mutual pining happening that you just can’t! You will not fall into that trope, dammit, you’ve given AO3 too much of your hard-earned money to back out now.

Besides, AO3 is a beta.  It’s not like they’ll get pregnant. 

You find AO3 hanging out with Open Doors and fanlore in their favorite coffee shop where boys, girls and otherwise gendered beings flirt freely and openly with each other.

You hesitate in the doorway, psyching yourself up.  Open Doors swings one of their own doors at you invitingly.  Fanlore and AO3 are too deep in conversation to look up.

“You can do this!” you say to yourself.  You step forward and the door’s bells tinkle merrily behind you like you’re stepping into a Christmas AU.

AO3 and fanlore look up.  AO3 brightens to see you.  “Hey,” they say.

“Hey,” you say back.  You can hardly acknowledge the others, so focused on AO3.  “You, uh…you wanna get out of here?”

AO3’s 3 twitches a little.  That has to be a good sign, right?  fanlore’s f and e both curve up like raised eyebrows.

“Yeah,” AO3 says getting up from the table.

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” Legal calls from their own table with fanhackers and TWC.

AO3 laughs while you sweat drop visibly. 

Two hours later, when you’re exhausted and panting and both of you are dripping with lube that is actually lube, you’re about to drift off when you hear AO3 laugh again, a low, ragged chuckle.

“What is it?” you ask, voice muffled by the O pressed against your lips.

“Now you just need OTW to approve.”

…Well shit.