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Home Is Where The Clocktower Chimes

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It was a fine Saturday morning, and Damian raced out into the garage to hop onto the back of Dick’s motorcycle. One day, he would be old enough to let Grayson ride behind him, and enjoy the wind in his hair for a change.

Dick and Wally came stumbling in after Damian and smiled. Damian glowered. “You know the drill, kid,” Wally smirked. “Scooch up.”

Growling, Damian allowed himself to be sandwiched between Dick and Wally, and they were off for their Saturday in the city to rescue Colin from his dreary orphanage, but sans the usual posse of Todd, Harper, and Gordon. Todd and Harper’s absence was explainable; they were on their second honeymoon in Bolivia, busting a drug cartel. “Where is Gordon?” Damian asked at a signal light.

“She said she’ll meet us at the orphanage,” Dick explained. “She’s got some work there.”

Damian frowned. When she was not controlling Everything form her position as Oracle, Gordon was a librarian. What could she be doing at the orphanage? Was Colin in trouble? Did Colin need him?

Dick stopped the bike in front of the orphanage and allowed Damian to run in ahead of them. “Colin! Colin, it is I, Damian, here to remove you from this ramshackle building!” At the reception, Sister Agnes frowned down at Damian. “It is rather ramshackle,” Damian pointed out. “If you’d just let me donate-“

“I am not taking a child’s money,” Sister Agnes said to Damian for the tenth time, rolling her eyes. “Besides, we are a church organization.”

“I am sure that God will agree with my logic,” Damian pressed.

Sister Agnes sighed. “We’ll talk about it when you’re twenty-one, and not a day sooner,” she said with faux sternness. “Colin is in a meeting right now, but he’ll be right out.”

Damian’s eyebrows did a complicated dance. “A meeting?”

Sister Agnes smiled with genuine happiness. “With his new mother. Colin has been adopted!”

The Earth stopped spinning. Color leeched out from the world, leaving only a lackluster greyscale palette in its wake. Colin had a new family. He was going to go away, leaving Damian behind like so many others had left before him-

“Dami?” Dick said softly, gently placing a hand on his shoulder. “Honey, it’s not what you think.”

Damian recovered his poise and blinked his tears away. “Bah. Of course not, Grayson. Colin is being adopted! He has the family he has always craved! I am...overjoyed.”

Dick smiled. “That’s very mature of you, Dami, but look,” he said pointing to the distance.

There, exiting the room, was an ebullient Colin, dragging a tiny suitcase with his worldly belongings, followed by...Barbara Gordon, who was wearing a shirt that declared her to be the “World’s Best Mom”.

Before he knew what he was doing, Damian was rushing towards Colin, who was rushing towards him with equal speed. They met in a powerful (cute) hug, bouncing and squealing. Dick cried and took pictures, Wally tried to pretend that he was not crying (he was), and Barbara smiled tenderly.

“Dami, I’m adopted!”

“Colin! You are Gordon’s son now and forevermore!”

“This is so great, I love my new mom!”

“I, too, love Gordon, despite her not informing me of this and causing me great emotional upheaval!”

Damian dashed over to Barbara and hugged her around her waist. “Thank you! Thank you!”

Barbara patted Damian’s back. “Aw, I love you too, Dames.”

Damian took Colin’s suitcase outside while Colin bid Sister Agnes farewell. After they had loaded up Barbara’s car, Damian came back in. “Sister Agnes,” he said, “just because Colin is no longer a resident of your establishment does not mean that you have escaped my donation. I shall return with my pocket money, or what is left of it after buying pet food for my dog, cat, and turkey.” So saying, Damian bowed and ran out, taking Colin with him and tumbling into the car waiting to take them to Wayne Manor.

Sister Agnes sighed and made to speak, but Dick raised his hand covertly. “I’ll take it back and substitute my own money,” he said, grinning conspiratorially. “A donation from an actual adult.”

Agnes smiled. What good boys Bruce Wayne had, even if a bit odd. If they were the future of Gotham, then she would not worry overmuch.


“You know that there are plenty of rooms in the Manor-“

Barbara glared. “I am not one of your children that you can emotionally blackmail me into moving back home, Bruce.”

Bruce grumbled and went back to punching a training dummy.


Life continued as normal after Colin’s adoption. Colin came over on weekends to hang out with Damian, Dick continued to be unbearably kawaii, Tim lusted after Kon, Kon lusted after Tim, and Jason continued to be the filial thorn in Bruce’s behind.

Barbara was also very happy to have a successor to her title as Oracle. She was training Colin in everything related to computers, and it was lucky that the boy was a quick study. When he was not being homeschooled by his new mom (new mom! Yay! Colin’s life was the best!), he was at Wayne Manor, playing in the backyard with Damian.

One lazy Satuday afternoon, Barbara wheeled herself out to said backyard to see Damian and Colin puttering around, ostensibly to forage for berries for fruit salad that night. In truth, they were actually playing Explorer, each berry being a nugget of gold.

Dick was bustling around beside her, dressed in his now customary apron, pouring out lemonade, arranging cupcakes, and other traditionally 70’s mom things.

“Hey Dick,” Barbara called, “I think your curlers are coming out.”

Dick turned and stared balefully at her. “Ha. Ha. Just because I have embraced the domestic arts does not make me a girl, Barbara Leslie Gordon.”

Barbara grinned. “Couldn’t resist. I always knew that you were a secret hen.”

“Then I cluck with pride,” Dick said, handing her a glass of lemonade. He looked out at the kids. “Did you ever think that we’d see this day?” He asked wistfully.

“That we would be mothers raising our kids alongside each other? Honestly, yes.”

Dick smiled, not even refuting the fact that he was Damian’s mom. “We did good, Babs.”

“We did good,” she echoed, toasting Dick. “Can you imagine what it’ll be like when Jason has babies? And you and Wally?”

“Oh my god,” Dick laughed, “Damian will start plotting his own little empire.”

“And Tim and Kon.”

“Tim secretly yearns to be a farmer’s wife,” Dick whispered. “To get up at the crack of dawn, harvest the wheat, milk the cows, and have apple pie ready for his husband in the evenings, when Kon will take him roughly up against the wall, while his tiny body writhes with the passion of their fantastic, sweaty, love.”

“Oh god.”

“Timmy’s fanfics are very detailed,” Dick said.

“What’s his username?”

“RedHotLoveThot,” Dick replied. “Bruce doesn’t know.”

“I should hope not,” Barbara said, giggling. Then she smiled. “We’re going to have a legacy,” she said. “We’ve really done it, Dickie. We made it.”

Dick smiled and took her hand. “We did it. Together.”

“To us,” Barbara said, raising her glass. “To our successes.”

Dick nodded, and raised his glass. “To our kids.”