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If You're Uselessly In Love With Your Best Friend, Clap Your Hands *Vigorous Clapping*

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She gets the call at 6:53 pm on a Tuesday. She’s just finished a contracting deal for the construction of a new lab and she could really use more than one drink. So when she sees “Kara Danvers <3” pop up on her phone screen, she picks up while relief tingles through her shoulders.

“Kara, hi, wha-”

“Lena, I need you to be my date to this party.”

The tingles spread from her shoulders to the entirety of her body. Her face flushes and she’s about to open her mouth to most-certainly protest because Kara hasn’t even mentioned wanting more let alone going outside together around camera!

“Because normally, I would force Alex to be my date,”


“but these people know that Alex is my sister and it’s a couple’s only event and Lennaaaaaa,”

Oh no.

“there’s an all-you-can-eat-buffet that’s supposed to be made by five-star chefs and I can’t not go!”

Of course.

The tingles settle heavily in her feet and all she wants to do is sleep for roughly five hundred years.

“Please say you’ll go! You get free food and I’ll let you choose the movie at our next movie night!”

That’s kind of tempting, at least she wouldn’t have to sit through another musical. And she could finally force Kara to watch the Vietnam documentary series from the BBC… hmm.

“I don’t know, Kara, I’m finishing up a contract right now and-”

“I’ll go to that kale place with you.”


Fantastic. Kale-itopia has been open for five weeks and she still hasn’t gone. She can’t just go alone though, and Sam’s already turned her down about eighteen times. She’s going to get a kale smoothie, kale chips, kale hummus… hopefully she can get that in takeaway containers…

“Awesome! The party’s this Friday, I’ll come and pick you up at seven pm. It’s really nice evening-wear attire, too.”

She’s going to have to change a meeting around and find something to wear but yeah, yeah, she can do this.

“That’s fine, I’ll see you Friday.”

Yes, the video conference with the Japanese site can be scheduled for Sunday, instead. Jess can handle the details and the-

“Thank you so much, Lena! I love you, bye!”

The call disconnects and she loves Lena. Loves Lena and they’re going as a couple. Will Kara kiss her cheek like two Thursdays ago? Oh god, what is she going to wear? What is Kara going to wear? What if Kara wears that backless dress?

The one with that accentuates every muscle in her entire body. The one that definitively proved that she was the extraterrestrial commonly referred to as Lena’s only other friend in National City because no mere mortal could get definition like that.

She won’t ruin their friendship, she won’t ruin their friendship by staring at her shoulders and imagining flying during life-threatening emergencies or sun-tanned skin on a beach or -

A text blinks through and it’s from “Kara Danvers <3” and all the tinglies come back which is weird and illogical and why are hormones even like this?

The text reads: “This is what I’m wearing if you want to match <3”

Of course she wants to match, she wants Kara Danvers to take her arm and whisk her into a poorly planned weddi-

Holy god.

There is no way a straight woman would wear that. There’s no way. It can’t happen. The universe has to have some form of justice, right?

Fuck .


Wednesday, she’s a mess.


Thursday, she’s the calm, cool, collected CEO everyone and her own mother expects her to be. She only opens the photo of Kara in a dark suit, navy blue tie, and hair up in a ponytail so immaculate it could convince an atheist that deities do exist, when she gets home.

She’s already specially ordered five different dresses and Sam verified that every single one is going to have the press salivating over her. It sounds gross, but if Kara’s going to look like that then Lena’s got to pull her own weight here.


Friday hits like a ballroom brawl. She’s twitchy and her makeup is terrible and somehow there’s glitter on her legs. At half-past five, Sam sits her down (twelve dozen eyerolls in) to “make Kara regret not asking you out for real.”

At 6:49, Sam takes the Grand Cru red wine, the six thousand dollar bottle, out of her wine collection and pops the cork before slouching on her couch.

“Literally eat her alive,” Sam states and proceeds to aerate the wine by swigging it directly from the bottle.

Precisely eleven minutes later, not that Lena’s been glancing at her phone timer for the past ten minutes, a knock sounds at her door. Lena’s heart jumps directly into her throat and maybe she should grab some Advil to keep this hammering down. Sam raises her bottle in a toast though, so Lena just opens the door because under no circumstances will she ever be able to close Kara Danvers out of her life.

The door swings open and there are times when one must take stock of one’s own bodily integrity. Where it is integral to the continued existence of oneself to regulate breathing and induce mental calmness.

This is not one of those times.

This is one of those times where one’s entire brain simply logs off on vacation.

“You look really nice.”

Smooth. That definitely covers the mind-numbing hotness of her best friend in National City, souped-up with heels and eyeliner, looking like some flawless blend of every conceivable gender.

“Wow! You look fantastic!”

She’s flushing, she knows. That’s just how it’s going to be tonight. Along with the never-ending pull Lena feels toward Kara’s entire face. It’s just reality. She’ll deal.

“Thank you.”

“Cool, let's go!”


Lena’s been almost-assassinated, murdered, mugged, shot and actually kidnapped multiple times. At no point has her adrenaline been as high as it is when Kara Danvers takes her hand while they drive to this god-forsaken party.


To say that the party is extravagant undersells the party. The party is beyond even the opulence Lena puts up with for the L-Corp holiday parties.

There are servers with trays of every delicacy the West Coast can find. The buffet is truly never-ending. The people are dressed in brands that even raise Lena’s eyebrows.

“Kara, what is this party for?”

Kara leans over, a smile playing across her lips, and all these people really don’t matter at all. What’s a little publicity if she can finally taste those lips? She’s dreamed about what they would taste like. But really, Kara’d probably just taste like whatever food she just ate as she never stops eating.

“It’s Bruce Wayne’s private birthday party.”

That makes her pause, heart still fluttering in her chest because it’s a traitor, though. Bruce Wayne as in… Gotham’s Bruce Wayne? The billionaire almost as rich as the Luthors?

“How did you get an invite?”

A man in a pink suit, arms overflowing with gifts, ambles by. A woman with two men and three women dogging her laughs like she has no cares in the world.

Kara aims them directly at the buffet.

“My cousin knows him.”


Fucking seriously? Batman is this playboy, rich kid? Jesus, no wonder Gotham’s still a hell hole.


Kara turns and smiles at her. There’s this funny thing with light and how it seems to gravitate toward Kara. Lena should really do tests on it, but she always gets distracted. Like now, with the light shimmering in Kara’s eyes like a thousand jewels, and how Lena just wants to press her face to Kara’s face and then press her face to Kara’s face again and then-

“Yeah, I hear he flew in actual Italian chefs to make the pizza and Chinese chefs to make the potstickers. He’s a little flouncy, but I have to admire his dedication to good food!”

Mental reminder: hire a personal chef to woo Kara.

“Uh, yeah, impressive.”

Kara grins again and loops her arm around Lena’s waist. Her hand rests on Lena’s hip. It’s warm. There are so many places Lena wants that hand and she really should not be thinking about that right now.

At least she’ll never have to go to the gym for cardio.


Kara keeps her away from the crowd, using the buffet as an impressive buffer zone, for quite some time. She’ll bite into a food, moan in a way that makes Lena weak in the knees, and then offer a bite to Lena. Like this is normal. Like straight girls watch each others’ lips with such intensity and zeal.

She bites into a truffle, held between Kara’s sure fingers-

Her dress is too low to get this flushed, no more thoughts of fingers and how easily they could pin her to-

And chocolate runs down to her chin. Kara’s thumb beats her to the drip and then Kara’s sucking the chocolate off her thumb and Lena’s not one for dramatics (despite what Sam will say) but Lena’s pretty sure she’s dead. Heaven was never a place Lena thought she’d get to, but here she is.

Then, of course, hell comes roaring back.

“Lena Luthor? Is that you?”

She’s never wanted to not be Lena Luthor more.

“Selina, it’s been ages, how are you?”

Selina grins, a weirdly cat-like grin, Lena’s pretty sure she didn’t grin like that the last time they met.

“Apparently not as good as you!”

And Selina gestures to Kara and laughs and Lena laughs and Kara laughs and Lena dies a little inside because way to rub her real circumstances directly in her face, life. Thanks for nothing.

Selina starts to say something but then a deep, jovial, and probably intoxicated voice calls to them. Or to Kara, specifically.

“Kara Danvers! I thought I’d banned you from my parties unless you actually bring a date. You know, if you eat all the potstickers again, I’ll have you clean the dishes!”

It’s Bruce Wayne, of course. Casual, no worries.

“Bruce! That only happened once and I didn’t eat all of them! Plus, I am here with a date!”

Kara gets this pretty flush on her face and sweet, lesbian jesus, she is the most radiant being Lena has ever met. Her little, shy smile and adjusting her glasses and she’s got chocolate on her teeth and nothing will ever top this moment in all of Lena’s life.

Bruce crashes into Kara, nearly lifting her up in a hug, and Kara laughs with her head tossed back. Lena is going to die here and that’s fine.

“So where is this date? Better not be your sister this time!”

Oh good, at least that bar is met. Kara slaps him on the shoulder like being buddy-buddy with Bruce Wayne is normal. Like dating Lena Luthor is normal. Like, how in the world does Kara keep her secret identity?

“Oh come on, I misunderstood that invitation! And my date is Lena!”

That fluttery-fluttery thing needs to calm its proverbial shit because Lena needs to be on her game around such a man. Not that Lena couldn’t just buy him out of his own company, but that would take nearly every penny she has and would come with some terrible press.

“Lenaaa, oh, Lena Luthor?”

Bruce turns and whatever he may have drunk tonight has not even come close to inebriating him. His eyes are cool and calculating. But at least that’s a look that Lena sees every day in the boardroom. It’s almost nice, stabilizing.

“It’s a pleasure to see you again, Mr. Wayne.”

“Ah, Lena, yes. So you’ve captured Kara’s heart hmm? How’d you do that?”

The question is innocuous enough but… there’s something in his eyes. Maybe it’s that he doesn’t believe they’re a couple or… oh. He would know who Kara is. Lex’s reputation precedes her and really that’s a low for the night-

“She wooed me with her extraordinarily good heart, philanthropic deeds, and a few lunch dates!”

Kara wraps her fingers in Lena’s and there’s another high. Her cheeks are already flushing and she can’t help the smile working at her lips and she probably looks like an idiot but… well she is.

“I think it was really the lunches that did it.”

She laughs, but it’s a tad breathy. A tad breathier because Kara brings their joined hands up to her lips and presses a warm, soft, wonderful kiss to the back of her hand. Exceptionally breathy because she very well might start hyperventilating if Kara keeps looking at her like that.

When Bruce chuckles, she looks back up and the glint in his eye is gone. He looks well and truly on his way to tipsy. No wonder no one’s figured out his identity yet. He’s certainly much better at this than Kara.

“Ah well, Kara is just as weak for a strong moral character as she is for a meal, don’t count yourself out so quickly, Ms. Luthor.”

Oh, well. Wow.

“Now if you two will excuse me, I saw a cat I have to go catch!”

Maybe L-Corp and Wayne Tech should do more functions together. They could do a lot of good with that kind of money behind them. Besides, they’re both into tech, maybe Bruce would be willing to look over some of her more finicky schematics. He troops around in a bat costume fighting clowns, he can’t be that bad.

Kara drops her hand and spins to watch Bruce go. It’s somewhat like when someone steps in front of you at a bonfire event, all the warmth just vacates immediately.

“Poor Bruce, he’s been trying to get Selina to marry him for ages. I don’t think he’ll ever convince her.”

Huh, what a shame, Bruce and her have a lot in common after all. Maybe they could commiserate over a new batarang design.

“Oh, Lena! They’ve finally turned on the chocolate fountain!”

Kara’s hand winds back around her waist, squeezing ever so slightly, and there goes her heart again. She’s likely going to have a heart attack before she’s thirty from stress anyway, or just get murdered, so why not let Kara kill her this way?

She watches as Kara grins so hard her eyes crinkle and yeah, yeah, at least this death will be pleasant.


A woman Lena doesn’t know squeals at them over the fondue table. She’s got the brightest green eyes Lena’s ever seen and deep red hair. Her voice is ever so slightly off and that’s probably because of the punch.

“Oh! You two are so cute! How long have you been together?”

“A couple of months now!”

Kara answers extraordinarily fast. Lena doesn’t let the surprise show on her face, though Kara’s hand has, once again, found its way to her hip. Her thumb rubs against the silk of Lena’s navy-blue dress and that’s a very, very nice feeling.

“Well, you’re adorable! Where did you two meet?”

“At her company, actually! I was assigned to interview her!”

And Kara answers immediately again and she smiles down at Lena and… and it’s really nice. She’s tucked in close to Kara’s side, an arm around her waist, and Lena’s never felt like she belonged somewhere so much. Kara shifts whenever Lena shifts, never pulls her along faster than Lena can keep up, always brings her leafy greens even though Kara can’t stand them…

She’s just the best thing Lena has and that little voice in the back of her head saying, “Don’t do it or you’ll lose her” is the absolute worst.

“Kara! Is that you? How’d you get past dad?”

The voice comes from behind them and Kara pulls away from Lena, turning to wrap a young man up in a hug. A very nice hug.

“Dick! Hi! And I brought a date, I followed the rules this time!”

The man, Dick apparently, grins and peers over Kara’s shoulder at her. He waggles his eyebrows and whistles and Lena kind of really likes Kara’s friends.


Kara hits him almost exactly like she hit Bruce.


But she’s laughing and Dick is too. The woman with red hair walks over to Dick and laces their fingers together. It’s so easy for them.

“Dick, who’s your friend? We’ve been talking for a little while!”

Dick leans up and presses a kiss to the woman’s cheek. It sends Lena’s traitorous eyes right to Kara. It’d be so easy for her to do the same.

“Kory, this is Kara Danvers, Kara this is Kory Anders, my girlfriend.”

“It’s so nice to meet you! And hey, this is my girlfriend, Lena Luthor!”

Kara holds out her hand. Girlfriend. Lena’s never hated a word that did not apply as much as girlfriend. But she takes Kara’s hand because apparently she likes to suffer and Kara pulls her back in, warm and safe.

Warm and safe.


Kara keeps chatting with an ever-growing group of exceptionally good-looking people. Lena’s not sure if all of them are superheroes or if it’s just her mind playing tricks on her. She’d bet good money that the tall woman with everything going on, truly, the hair, the legs, the face, everything, is Wonder Woman. But if that’s true, Lena may actually pass out.

She’s got a thing for strong women who can fly. Everyone has a type, it’s perfectly normal.

But Kara doesn’t need her around right now and Lena could use some air anyway.

Lena heads out to the balcony and sucks in the cool night air. She feels like a basketball in a championship game but no one’s making any baskets. Or goals. Or whatever. But she is definitely getting bounced and the highs feel like she could fly but these lows feel like she is definitely getting beaten against a sweaty, gym floor.

She shudders from the thought. Gyms have never been her thing.

Cloth slides over her shoulders and there’s that high again because Kara is behind her, jacket-less, and so incredibly beautiful, bathed in the soft light of the party, that Lena’s probably going to have to toss herself off this balcony, right now. Of course, then Kara would catch her and she’d be in a whole new predicament but at least she could scream as much as she wants to.

And the whole thing is so fucking stupid because Kara’s looking out over the city like some rom-com bullshit is about to happen and she’s smiling so fucking softly and Lena’s questioning her own sanity because straight girls just can’t look at each other like that, right?? And it’s been over a year of this!

Kara is the best thing that has happened in her life since Lex took a stroll down Insanity Lane and she’s not going to fuck this up just because her heart is going through a paper shredder in her chest. Unfortunately, every cell in her body wants to lean over and taste her best friend’s smile.

“Thank you for coming with me.”

She’s soft in this lighting. Lena just waves away her thanks and tears her eyes off of Kara. She kind of feels like crying right now, but that’d be hard to explain. A warm hand grasps her own and there’s a real lump in her throat now.

“Really, though, Bruce would have been fine with me coming alone but uh… I didn’t really want to.”

That’s kind of… weird. She looks over and Kara’s still holding her hand, but she’s leaned back away from the balcony railing, adjusting the glasses on her nose. She only does that when she’s nervous though.

“I kind of really wanted to ask you out.”

Lena’s heart’s been on her sleeve all evening, but now it’s sitting solidly where that lump in her throat was.

“Y’know, Alex kind of forced me to call you and she said I should ask you out and she thought I was really dumb when I asked you out on a fake date and I kind of agree with her but I couldn’t just, like, ask you! What if you’d said no? I prob-”

“I wouldn’t have.”

Kara stops and looks at her and there’s this thrumming in the back of Lena’s skull. It feels as though the whole world has quieted down and all Lena can hear is her own pulse.

“You… wouldn’t have said… no?”

Lena nods and squeezes Kara’s hand. A puff of breeze pushes some of her hair into her face and that would be her luck in this moment but, but before she can fix her hair, Kara’s hand is there.

She pushes Lena’s hair back and cups Lena’s cheek and her eyes look just like Supergirls’, so damn intent. She leans forward and Lena leans up and she’s so warm it feels like Lena’s going to catch fire-

“Oh, Kara! Apologies for the interruption, I just wanted to make sure that everyone was keeping their pants on, but I didn’t recognize you. Please, feel free to take yours off.”

Kara very nearly goes through the railing when she jerks back. She jerks back so hard, Lena falls forward with a tiny yelp. It’s maybe not Lena’s finest moment.


Kara’s bright red and scandalized and she’s so fucking beautiful.


She’s so beautiful that it tugs at Lena’s whole damn being. And Kara wanted to ask her out for real. Wanted to kiss her for real. Kara wants her.

“S-Sorry about that. Barbara’s really nice, but uh, kind of a brat really.”

She’s still pressed right up against Kara and, actually, fuck it.

“Er, Lena?”

She pulls Kara down by her shoulders and presses their lips together. She’s soft and warm and slightly surprised if her squeak is anything to go by. And cute. God, this woman is the brightest sunshine Lena’s ever had the good fortune to know.

Kara’s tongue slips out against her bottom lip and oh. Oh. Whoever that Barbara person is was right, Kara really should feel free to take her pants off.

Kara leans forward and pushes Lena back against the railing and wow. Wow, okay, Kara Danvers really knows how to kiss. Those hands find her hips again and maybe Kara actually has a thing for hips, not that Lena minds, Lena’s got a thing about lots of Kara, she’s got no room to judge.

She slips her own hands to the back of Kara’s neck. Her hair really needs to come down and Lena does her best with the hair tie but she’s really distracted when Kara nibbles on her lip.

“You taste like chocolate.”

It’s - that’s such a ridiculous thing to say! Of course she tastes like chocolate, Kara tastes like chocolate too. They’d eaten far more fondue than Lena ever should.

“And whose fault is that?”

Kara giggles and kisses her and that’s just, the best. It’s the best, so she leans up and kisses her best friend on this dark balcony with a preposterous number of superheroes inside.

A wolf whistle calls their attention and, yeah, that’s definitely Wonder Woman grinning at them from the door. She gives Kara a thumbs-up before heading back into the party.

“Was that really Wonder Woman?”

Kara laughs and nods, kissing her again and yup, she’s used to the kisses now. She’s going to need some of those every day going forward.

“Yeah, Diana said you were looking at me like I’d hung the moon. She pushed me to follow you out here.”

“Wow, who knew Wonder Woman would be my wingwoman.”

“Yeah, she’s surprisingly good at that.”

“Mhh, well, I’ll have to send her a ‘thank you’ note.”

That gets the exact reaction she’s looking for. Kara laughs, all head back and throaty, and Lena’s going to kiss her for however long she’s allowed to.

They don’t spend much more time on the balcony, Barbara did have a point after all, and snuggling without pants is the only true option.


“Wonder Woman was your wingwoman?”

Alex sounds the most betrayed, hand to her chest, shocked and dismayed.

“Mhmm, and Batgirl said your sister shouldn’t have to keep her pants on.”

That makes Alex grimace and Lena smirks. Kara’s in the kitchen, pouring drinks, and probably stealing bits of the tofu burgers she pretends to hate. It’s only been two weeks but Kara’s already practically moved in with her.

“Gross. But did you tell Barbara I said hi?”

Kara shakes her head, coming in with hands full and suspiciously chewing. Lena raises her brow but Kara doesn’t meet her gaze. Hmmm.

“Nope, you snooze, you lose.”

“Psh, I wish Wonder Woman would be my wingwoman.”

“You don’t need Wonder Woman, Sam’s already ready to climb you like a tree.”

Alex spits her wine directly onto the couch and ugh, Lena should have waited to say that. But the truth cannot be withheld, and the look on Kara’s face is worth every wine stain her furniture could ever endure.


Lena just laughs. They’ll figure it out. In the meantime, she has her own super girl to kiss and Lena’s going to do just that.