I was tired.
Mentally, emotionally and physically.
For a while now, it all felt too… monotone. Routine, ordinary life, same old same old. Meeting the same people every day, walking around the same streets, doing the same things.
It felt like something was missing. Like I had lost something very important that I couldn’t really remember. Something exciting, exhilarating and brilliant that made me feel motivated and alive.
But it was all probably a daydream. The longing for adventure, love, fantasy, danger even.
Yet I knew that no prince charming would come for me in his steed. There would be no adventures and no love. No nothing.
Just boring ordinary routine and monotony. Real life.
Like any other day, I was walking the streets of my crowded city, with headphones blasting music that distracted me from the mumbling and noise that surrounded me.
I glanced down the change the song and quickly looked back up so I wouldn’t walk into someone. And I frowned when I saw a peculiar looking man walking towards me.
It wasn’t that he looked strange or different but… that he felt so. And almost familiar as though I had seen him before.
A man dressed in a suit with white converse and a brown trench coat. He had brown hair combed up in a mess of scruffy locks. His eyes were brown, sweet but stern.
I observed him, curious about the determined look on his face. I wondered why it seemed like he was glancing directly at me.
But I told myself that he was probably walking my way and even if he were looking at me –which was unlikely- he wasn’t even aware that he was. He probably was too immersed into his own thoughts and his eyes happened to be on me.
Yet my stomach turned queasy, almost in excitement, wondering if he would say something to me. Like he was an old friend and I wanted to see if he recognized me.
I realized I was too bored of the routine to be thinking such thoughts.
He got closer and closer until he passed me by, completely ignoring my presence. I experienced both relief and disappointment.
So I carried on walking, forgetting any of that ever happened. Because nothing actually happened at all.
I just proceeded to continue with my day and be bored to death by it all.
A hand suddenly held my upper arm and I found myself walking with someone. I looked up to the man standing right next to me. It was him.
“Hello, Y/N” The man told me calmly, almost with familiarity. “Don’t be alarmed, just keep walking”
“How…? What…? Who…?” I struggled to decide which question I wanted answered first, but I easily made up my mind. “How do you know my name?”
“This is no time for jokes” He looked down at me, frowning in annoyance.
“Who are you?”
“I’m… the Doctor”
Something in his expression told me I left him completely puzzled.
“Just the Doctor” He replied absently, his eyes not leaving me. “What’s the matter, Y/N?”
“The matter is, Doctor” I said his name weirdly, letting him know that it was literally the first time I ever heard it. “Is that a stranger is taking me away against my will”
“That’s not…” He stopped walking and gently let go of my arm.
“What?” I urged him, uncomfortable, when he kept staring.
“Is it sarcasm? Am I not getting your sarcasm?”
“I’m not being sarcastic!”
His expression shifted from confused to concerned.
Very softly, he pulled at my sleeve so I would walk with him to the corner next to us, which wasn’t so crowded. I only allowed him to because he didn’t really look dangerous nor present an actual threat to me.
Then he took ahold of my face and analyzed me, almost examining me like an actual doctor. He gently moved my head around as he still observed me.
“What are you doing?” I took a step back to get away from him.
“Sorry” He apologized, yet absently. He definitely was equally concerned and confused.
“It’s okay” I didn’t want to be rude because it really seemed like the man didn’t mean to upset me. In fact, it seemed like he considered me his friend. “Just don’t… do that again”
“Are you feeling alright, Y/N?” He placed his hands on my arms, like a close friend would.
I wriggled away from his touch, giving him a strange look.
“I don’t know what’s going on here” With his face very close to mine, he observed me as though the answers to the mysteries of the world were written on my skin. “And I don’t like not knowing”
“I don’t either, so would you care to explain what you’re on about and why it feels like you know me?”
“I finally found you” Now the Doctor just looked sad, defeated. “And you don’t… remember me”
“We’ve been travelling together for so long…” The man made a pause, his face displaying an expression that broke my heart. “And you forgot about me”
I wanted to comfort that man.
I had never seen him before, but I felt the inexplicable need to make him feel better because it wasn’t pleasant to see him like that. Even if I was as confused as him, he looked so very sad.
Like his world was falling apart because I had apparently forgotten about him.
The man just sat there on the floor, brow furrowed in concentration. He was in deep thought, trying to figure out what happened that provoked my amnesia.
At last, he looked up at me in disbelief.
“You must remember me, surelly!” He stood up quickly, uneasy. “Not to show off, but I’m quite unique”
“I don’t see what can make you different”
“I have two hearts!” He proudly announced. “I’m a Time Lord”
“You’re a mad man” I corrected him, staring strangely at him.
“That too” He grinned, and I could almost see a lightbulb lighting up over his head. “A mad man with a blue box!”
It was strange, but I felt like I had seen that expression on his face before. I knew it meant excitement and wonder. I knew it meant he had a great idea, a ‘brilliant’ one as he would say.
And a hunch told me he was very smart. Unusually smart.
I stared at him as he paced up and down, frowning in that way again. I had to admit that I found it very… attractive.
“Maybe I can make you remember again” The Doctor turned to me and offered a hand for me to take. “Do you trust me?”
It was completely mad, but I did. I was willing to let him take me whenever he wanted to, because I trusted him with my life. It was against all logic, but I did.
Even if I had no memories of him, even if my brain didn’t remember him. But my instinct and my heart did somehow.
“I must be crazy” I mumbled with a sigh as I softly placed my hand over his.
To my surprise, he grinned at my comment. Almost as though he expected something like that coming from me. It really felt like he knew me for sure.
Gently, he closed his fingers around mine and his amused grin became a mildly mischievous one.
He pulled at my hand, taking me with him as he began running. Before I could even tell my legs to try and keep up with him, I was already running behind the Doctor.
It felt like I was used to that. Like I had done it before many times.
“Where are you taking me?” I asked, trying to ignore the euphoria that overcame me, the feeling of the adrenaline running through my veins and the butterflies in my stomach.
“To the TARDIS, of course!” I looked over his shoulder at me and smiled again.
It captivated me, every time he smiled I wanted to do so as well.
Soon enough, we were standing in front of a blue telephone box.
I was unimpressed by it, yet he was beaming as he glanced from it to me.
“What is this supposed to be?”
“Why don’t you come in and find out?”
He opened the door and invited me in. I stood there for a moment, not moving quite yet.
As he waited for me to walk in, he leaned his shoulder on the blue box and grinned. I looked at him strangely yet again.
The Doctor wiggled his eyebrows and pointed to the inside of the box with his head. Resigned, I walked into it.
I gasped in amazement when I found with something quite impossible. It was bigger on the inside!
Quickly, I ran out of it and met with him. I stared into his eyes with an inquiring look, but he just kept smiling in amusement.
“That box… it’s… it’s…”
“Bigger on the inside?”
“Would you look at that…”
“How is that even possible?!” I exclaimed in awe, urging him to answer to satisfy my curiosity.
Almost skipping, he went into the ‘TARDIS’ again. I stood outside, trying to let it all sink in while he began talking. I wasn’t really paying attention to him as I observed the outside of the box. He was probably rambling about it anyway.
Just then I realized something. If he had been searching for me, why didn’t he look that happy when he found me?
The first thing he did when he saw me was take me away from there, being discreet and subtle.
“Am I in danger?” I piped up, cutting his rambling immediately.
From where I was standing, I could see him heading outside to be closer to me. He didn’t reply.
I didn’t want him around anymore. Suddenly I was scared to be with him.
Because if I was suddenly in danger when he appeared it meant that he was dangerous. It wasn’t safe to be with him.
I got scared that the intriguing man that allegedly had two hearts and a mysterious police box that was bigger on the inside might get me in trouble.
“Y/N, wait!” He exclaimed, but I started to run away. “Listen to me”
“Get away from me! I was safe before you arrived!” It was all insane, too many things were happening in too little time.
“You are in danger, but I can protect you!” He shouted, agitated and yet concerned.
I shook my head, not ready to face any more of that. So I ran away.
It wasn’t the best idea, because I found face to face with some robotic like creatures immediately went after me.
“Doctor!” I screamt his name, almost instinctively.
I didn’t even remember he was called like that. And I didn’t even mean to call for him, it just… happened.
“Run!” He was suddenly next to me, holding my hand and pulling at it to make me do so.
The next thing I knew a heavy metallic hand, probably belonging to one of those creatures that chased us, fell on my shoudler. I was shook by an electric discharge and everything painfully turned to black.
My mind felt foggy, a complete mess. I was confused, in shock.
Did I pass out? I felt faint, to be honest. Tired, disoriented, shaky, fuzzy-headed.
I wasn’t quite aware of what was happening. And I couldn’t really remember what happened last at all.
“Y/N?” A familiar voice gently asked me.
I grimaced as my body felt sore and fluttered my eyes open.
“What happened?” I asked before anything, trying to very slowly sit up. “Where am I?”
“You’re in the TARDIS” The Doctor replied to me, sounding worried and observant. “The cybermen got ahold of you, but I managed to save you before they could ‘reprogram’ you or something as such”
“Again?” I moaned in disgust, rubbing my eyes feebly as I hoped I would quickly recover my strength. “You always wait right until the last minute”
“What did you just say?”
I glanced over at him and smiled a little when I realized he was wearing his glasses. I had always loved when the Doctor put them on, he looked even more attractive and intellectual.
It had been a while since I last saw him wearing them.
“I said that I feel bloody awful and you could have hurried it up” I stood up from the small chair and wobbled a little.
He was fast and managed to hold me by the waist and steady me. Even if I got dizzy because of the sudden change of height.
I closed my eyes tight, supporting myself on him by pressing my hands over his shoulders. The Doctor still held his hands over my waist, tight but gentle.
“Are you alright?” He asked me sweetly yet nervously.
“Always am” I opened my eyes to look at him and grinned.
Until I realized he was frowning, then the smile slowly fell apart.
“Why are you scowling at me?”
“I’m not scowling!” The Doctor exclaimed. “I’m confused!”
“Do you remember?”
I was about to ask him what he meant by that. And then it hit me.
Before I passed out because of the cybermen I did not remember the Doctor. Nor the adventures we shared, all the places we visited and the people we met.
But I did now.
Frantically, I rummaged through his jacket until I found a specific pocket and picked up the gizmo that shone with a dim blue light.
“Your screwdriver” I said, almost in happy tears. “It’s your sonic screwdriver!”
A smile of genuine delight suddenly lightened up his features. I remembered that grin because it filled me with joy. Mischievous, excited, adorable, sweet.
The Doctor’s pure, unique and heartfelt smile that passed over to his brown eyes.
“I remember everything” I uttered in shock and relief.
“It was a memory worm” He mumbled very quietly, his eyes fixed on me in awe. “I managed to rid you of it in the hopes that you got your memory back. I wasn’t quite sure if it worked”
“It worked” I felt like crying because I was overcome with so much happiness. With pure bliss because we were reunited. Because the Doctor was finally there.
I had missed him so much, even when I didn’t remember him. Deep down I never forgot him despite it all. That was how much I loved him.
“It definitely worked” I bit my lip, trying to conceal my tears, as I put the screwdriver back on his pocket.
“Welcome back, Y/N” The Doctor beamed, a spark shining in his eyes.
“Doctor” I could not believe I actually forgot about him! How could I forget him?! “Doctor…”
My voice was filled with relief yet it also displayed a much more complex mixture of emotions as noticeable by how shaky it was.
I collided with him in an urgent and very much needed hug as I saw I got him back. He had found me alright.
“It’s alright” Holding me tight against him, he whispered comforting words into my ear. “I’m here”
I just sobbed in his shoulder, being incredibly emotional. His touch was soothing, as was his calming and comforting presence, his soft but imposing demeanor and his extraordinary aura.
I had found him. He had found me.
We found each other, and what was even more important.
I remembered him.