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Say You Love Me

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"Cause when the loving starts, and the lights go down,
And there's not another living soul around,
Then you woo me until the sun comes up,
And you say that you love me."
Fleetwood Mac


Dark, lonely and cold room made a long shadow over the wood floor. Spencer was sat to the brown chair, and looked out of the misty window. Moon rise, houses and clouds everywhere. No peoples. Nothing couldn't stop him, even the small room was locked. He was sitting on his own little house somewhere in Virginia, and he couldn't be more happy it was weekend. No crimes, no anyone to calling him to safe. Just peace. Spencer took sharp and grey knife to his hand, and it flashed on the moonlight. Then with small and focused moves He put it close of his tiny, and little bit hairy wrist. Biting smootly his red lip, focusin to the target. "First cut was the hardest, then pain leaved" Spencer thought, and first queitly move made screaming red success. Blood was dripping out to black carpet, but it didn't matter. He finally got time. Got time to himself. Got time to forget all bad things, but mostly got time to remember.


At morning:

Spencer wokeup on the same chair. Back was hurting like hell. He moved his tired eyes to his wrist what had now red marks. Not too deep, but showing up clearly like a brown fox in the white snow. "Shower would be good." Spencer thought on his messy mind, and went up slowly. Holding his long back before stretching it out. It made a noise to the quiet room. He feeled how sweaty brown hair, was glued to his face, and moved it with quickly moves left side of his head. Spencer realized his white shirt was also full of red marks, and took it away. His nips react to the cold, and he shivered. He noticed his body's bones showed clearly on the bright winter morning sun. Spencer took white towel on the bed, and went to shower what was just around the corner. Thinking he should eat something after it.

After the shower:

Phone was ringing, one, two and three times before Spencer answered it.

" Hi Spence! I was wondered do you want to go bar tonight?"
It was J.J, only one who called him Spence.
" Thanks J.J but i want to read this weekend. "
Spencer answered, and after normal " sorry to hear" and "see you monday"
Talking, Spencer closed the phone. Silence. He knew who to call, who could understand him, who could even love him after that what he had done. Spencer picked up Hotch's number, and without even hesitation, he click the "call" button.
It rings couple of times, what was usual. Hotch was busy man. Finally after minute Spencer heard familiar voice, it was bright and loveable. Nothing like boss Hotch would be.
" Oh hi Reid!"
Hotch's sounded energy, but tired.
" I need you."
Spencer answered, and breathe in and out.
" I'm there in ten minute, stay alive okey?"
Hotch answered, and without any other word, call ended. Spencer looked out of the window, snowing weather was stardet.

At the Breakfast table:

" Ouch! Be careful love."
Spencer said, and blushed.
" Next time don't make cuts that deep."
Hotch said without sympathy, and seam with quickly moves Spencer's damaged wrist. It feeled painful to see his own lover doing that, but same time he was happy he could tell.
" two more, then it's over i promes."
Hotch said, and saw how Spencer bited his lip hard.
" You said that five minutes ago asshole."
Spencer said with ironic voice, and tried breathe in and out.
" Done."
Hotch said, and put needle and thread away.
" I want to kiss you."
Spencer said shyly, like it was wrong thing to say, after moment like that.
" Kiss me then idiot, who stops you"
Hotch said and smirked. Kiss feeled incredible, and good. Someone was there who cares, someone who don't judge. Someone who just love. It wasn't a long kiss, it was just a kiss what telled i'm there. I'll be there now, i'll be there always. Love is there. Spencer gived shy in love smile to Hotch, who just looked back with his blue sparkling eyes. Spencer wanted to move, but pain in hand was still too much. Hotch took Spencer's hand to his own. Fondly it gently.
" Just say you love me."
Spencer said with sweet tuned voice, and smiled.
" I love you."
Hotch answered wihout hesitation, and they kissed again.