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The Things We Used to Share

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You can have the toaster and the PC

Or even my Timothy Green DVD

The world seemed so bland. So boring. Ethan looked down at the broken computer. That was how he and Camden met. They both had accounts on this fanfiction site, and they became close friends. Very close. But it was all gone, gone, gone. Never coming back.

I’ll let you have the couch, and the TV

Hang onto that jacket that you bought for me.

Camden still had the jacket Ethan had made for him. Ethan made sure of that. It was the least he could do after all Camden had done for him. Ethan was Camden’s princess after Camden finally realized he was gay for Ethan. Ethan had known Camden wasn’t straight before Camden realized it; Ethan had an especially good gaydar.

I don’t really care,

You can keep the things we used to share.

But what did you do with my heart?

What did you do with my heart?

Ethan looked at the sunset. That had been the ending of their first date. It was quite cheesy, a romantic picnic on the beach. They had watched the sunset together. Actually, they had shared their first kiss in front of the sunset. It may have been cheesy, but Ethan loved it. And now he missed it.

No more fireworks, no more compass,

You didn’t leave a single butterfly in my stomach.

Fireworks brought a feeling of emptiness and sadness to Ethan. They had gone to a fourth of July celebration with Camden’s family. It was there that Camden had proposed. Sure, they were only 25, but they just clicked. Everyone knew they were meant for each other. Ethan had said yes, but the wedding never happened. Now Ethan cried whenever he saw the colors bursting in the sky.

You took my spyglass no knowing what lies ahead.

Took my warmth at night,

But left a dent in my bed.

Ethan rolled over, meaning to tell Camden something, only to be faced with air. It was then he remembered; Camden wasn’t coming back. Ever. Ethan didn’t sleep that night. All he could do was lay there, lost in his thoughts.

I don’t really care,

You can keep the things we used to share.

But what did you do with my heart?

What did you do with my heart?

Ethan looked out the window. It was five. That was usually when Camden came home after work. Ethan wanted to imagine that Camden was running late, that traffic was a b*tch. It was all false hope.

Stripped me of my pride,

That’s for the best.

But you also deprived me of a full night’s rest.

Ethan’s family was worried about the poor boy. It had been tough for all of them, but it hit him hardest. The bags under his eyes were visible. He wasn’t his normal, bubbly self. And as much as they wanted to help him, how could they? He didn’t want to believe it was real.

So no more dreams,

Where we pull through.

And I can’t collect my thoughts because they’re still with you.

Camden had given his all to Ethan. Ethan had given his all to Camden. And then it had happened. And Ethan still couldn’t get over him. It had been a year. So why was he still grieving? Shouldn’t he be over it?

I don’t really care,

You can keep the things we used to share.

But what did you do with my heart?

What did you do with my heart?

Ethan looked down at the golden lab puppy. Well, she wasn’t much of a puppy anymore. Jorja had been a gift to Camden for his birthday. The last birthday they would ever share. The last birthday he would ever have. It was Ethan’s job to look after Jorja now.

Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo

Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo

Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo

Doo doo doo doo doo

Ethan remembered everything. All the time they spent together. They had talked about adopting kids, a little boy and a little girl. Jorja was their test run. That wasn’t going to happen. There was so much they wanted to do, so much they wouldn’t get to do.

I wouldn’t take it back,

Even though I felt sore.

I meant it when I said what’s mine is yours.

But I need to know now that we’re apart,

What did you do?

It had been an accident. The guy had been drunk, wasn’t paying attention to what was going on. It had all been so fast, a blur. One minute, Camden was there, the next, he was gone.

I need to know now that we’re apart,

What did you do with my heart?

What did you do with my heart?

Ethan kneeled down by the grave. Camden Johnson, a loving son and boyfriend.

What did you do with my heart?

What did you do with my heart?

What did you do with my heart?

“What did you do with my heart, Camden?”