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Why Are We So Bad At Our Jobs?

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Group Chat: Shiny, TrueLeader, HumanLover

Shiny: hey @LM wtf 

[Shiny has sent an image]

HumanLover: i dont see the issue 

TrueLeader: ur cat shouldn’t be in our house 

HumanLover: ??? where do you want her to be??? 

TrueLeader: in your house fucker!! 

HumanLover: but vassago’s alergic and he’s staying over for the weekend 

Shiny: he is?? 

TrueLeader: belial don’t give in 

HumanLover: @lillith step tf up and take care of your grandkid 

Shiny: we have to 

TrueLeader: the vassago card was a dirty trick LM 

HumanLover: it’s true!! 

HumanLover: and it worked didn’t it? 

TrueLeader: i hate you 

HumanLover: (^˵◕ω◕˵^) 


Group Chat: The OGs 

FindersKeepers: !! im glad i was able to do this again!! 

LeaderInTitle: me too!!! it’s been so long vassy!! 

FindersKeepers: it has!! (ᵔ.ᵔ) 

LeaderInTitle: (≧◡≦) ♡ 

Shiny: im glad to see you back, vassago! do you want to meet up later?? 

FindersKeepers: sure!!! the usual place?? 

Shiny: of course! 

FindersKeepers: ill b there at the usual time!! 

Bee-Him-Off: how was earth this time?? 

FindersKeepers: constant suffering as usual!! but the human was fun this time 

FindersKeepers: it was actually a challenge to find what they wanted 

StarryEyed: its been awhile since thats happened huh 

FindersKeepers: yep 

FindersKeepers: humans are. such simple creatures 

LeaderInTitle: they cute tho 

StarryEyed: @vassago i can feel you looking into the camera stop it 

FindersKeepers: LM is so unashamedly open abt his taste and, while i admire that, i hate it in this specific scenario 

LeaderInTitle: asnfdn you say that like you haven’t agreed with me multiple times 

FinderKeepers: johnny was the cutest and nicest human ever born and you can’t change my mind 

FindersKeepers: but the rest of them. just. why 

LeaderInTitle: admittedly henry was a mistake but he was good 

TrueLeader: fucking ew stop 

LeaderInTitle: coward 

TrueLeader: meet me @ the pit in ten 

LeaderInTitle: no thanks 

Shiny: anyway!! you guys are having a sleepover?? 

FindersKeepers: LM isn’t home yet 

LeaderInTitle: you have a key don’t you?? 

FindersKeepers: no but you realize no one locks anything right 

FindersKeepers: and none of you are good at hiding things 

FindersKeepers: im actually the only one home and it feels really weird and empty here 

LeaderInTitle: ill be there soon!! nunzia threatened to kill me if i left before i finished the paperwork for this project 

StarryEyed: i always forget that there’s actual work you have to do 

Shiny: we’re disorganized and not formal in the slightest yes, but we have habits that we can’t drop 

TrueLeader: especially LM 

LeaderInTitle: that reminds me! 

TrueLeader: oh no 

LeaderInTitle: fuck you! 

LeaderInTitle: no but uhhh i met a human yesterday and i know we were just talking about this but 

LeaderInTitle: i love him??? so uh 

Shiny: you know we support you right?? so long as he’s, you know, not like henry... 

LeaderInTitle: he’s not!! 

LeaderInTitle: ive been texting him and he called yesterday and he’s really nice!! i think you’d like him!! 

Shiny: :) aww 

FindersKeepers: is he like johnny 

LeaderInTitle: i love him but he’s nowhere close sorry 

FindersKeepers: then i support you but i don’t want to meet him 

LeaderInTitle: i didn’t think you would! anyway nunzia just left so i think if im quiet, quick, and promise to give amy another cookie tomorrow so she doesn’t rat me out, i’ll be home in abt ten minutes!! 

FindersKeepers: don’t die

LeaderInTitle: i make no promises 


Group Chat: Y’all Live In MY House 

HumanLover: im home!!! amy wants three cookies so we gotta do that 

RedWing: why do you keep bribing her you're the boss 

HumanLover: not according to lillith 

Bathin: lilli’s always held more power than everyone tbh 

HumanLover: correct 

StrongBoi: we all agree on that but she didn’t lead??? how’d that happen? 

StarryEyed: she’s better at planning but she can’t get ppl on her side as easily as LM can 

StrongBoi: ah 

FindersKeepers: !!! HELLO!! @LM I SEE YOU 

HumanLover: AH!!!! GET OVER HERE!!! 

HumanLover: oh his hair got lonjndfjgn 

FindersKeepers: whoops 

Bathin: did. did you tackle him 

FindersKeepers: yes 

FindersKeepers: didn’t think he’d still have his phone out 

HumanLover: im good 

HumanLover: as i was saying 

HumanLover: his hair got longer 

FindersKeepers: (/ =ω=)/ i was getting kinda tired of it being what it was... 

HumanLover: its cute i like it 

RedWing: “““cute””” are we gonna cry over how hot he looks when we get back 

HumanLover: .... yes 

FindersKeepers: ksdmjkfn w h y 

HumanLover: listen im holding back literal tears rn ok 

StrongBoi: oh fuck im not prepared for this 

HumanLover: neither was i 

HumanLover: suffer w me 

Bathin: maybe samael will chill tf out abt none of us having long soft hair to touch 

FindersKeepers: x to doubt 

HumanLover: x 

RedWing: x 

StrongBoi: x 

StarryEyed: x 

Bathin: ... x 

FindersKeepers: @LM abt amy, i found a new recipe for cookies a while back, do you wanna make those?? 

HumanLover: !! of course!! 

StrongBoi: no wait for me im only two minutes away 

HumanLover: we’ll set up the stuff while we wait ok?? 

StrongBoi: !! thanks!! 

FindersKeepers: i can’t wait to see you all again!! 

FindersKeepers: including you lurkers don’t think i can’t see you 

RavenBaby: ;P 

RavenBaby: that’s from all of us still at work bc some of us take our jobs seriously 

HumanLover: look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t agree with my decision 

RavenBaby: listen 

RedWing: no fights 

HumanLover: (。•́︿•̀。) 

RavenBaby: ;(