Chapter 1: Chapter 1
"Come on Rosie, you can't back out of the Halloween Party!"
I rolled my eyes as my roommate Chloe sat on her bed, looking at me in shock.
"It's tradition to go Rose! You can't miss it especially not the last one you will ever have!"
“Considering I have never gone to one of these parties, I hardly think I can consider it a tradition to go,” I said, unable to hold myself back from laughing. I put my schoolbooks into my bag. “I told you that I have this essay in Arithmency. I really don’t want or need to go to this party. I’ve missed it the past six years, I would be okay missing it for a seventh.”
“Rose I think your essay due in two weeks can wait one night,” Chloe said. “Come on! Just ditch your school work and responsibilities for one night. They will still be there in the morning waiting for you.”
I was about to respond, but was cut off by our roommate Audrey, entering the room.
“Can you guys help me decide what to be tonight? I honestly can’t make a decision,” she said, carrying two garment bags with her.
“Why did you even get two costumes?” Chloe said, sitting up on her bed. “You should have just picked one and then you wouldn’t have this issue.”
“Well I tried that, but there was a special for buy one get one free and Rose refused to shop with me, so I got two, figuring she would wear the other one,” Audrey said, hanging the bags up.
“That would require actually getting her to go,” Chloe said. “She’s bailing for the library.”
“What?” Audrey said. She looked at me. “Rosie, tell me she’s kidding. Please tell me you are not bailing when you finally said you would go.”
I shrugged. “That essay is due in two weeks! If I want to follow my typical three draft process I have to start this weekend.”
“So start tomorrow!” Audrey said. She had a desperate look on her face. “Please, Rose, please! I already have two costumes and when I told some guys you were going to come they were super excited to get to hang out with you! Rose, this could be the first step towards you getting out there and starting to date!”
“I don’t need to date!” I said. “I don’t have time to date. You know that the top healing schools require the top grades and dating would distract me from that. I have you guys and my family and trust me, that is more than enough distractions. I see how much time Chloe has to spend with Al in order to maintain their relationship; I don’t have that time and even if I did, I would probably spend it maintaining my grades.”
“Al and I don’t spend time together to maintain our relationship,” Chloe chimed in from her bed. “We spend time together because we want to. We even study during that time. So, sorry, but your argument is invalid because you could just date someone who wanted to study as much as you do.”
“Thank you future Defense Wizard Council,” Audrey said, pointing to Chloe as their stood in solidarity against me. I rolled my eyes. “Rose come on. I’m not saying you actually have to hook up or date anyone tonight, but don’t use not having time as an excuse. It’s okay to want to date someone. I know my personal experiences with dating have not always been the best examples but look at Al and Chloe. Probably going to get married right out of Hogwarts. It’s all a process. I know you’re going to go to your fancy healing school and become a world class healer and protect everyone in the whole world and never take care of yourself, so what’s wrong with me wanting to make sure that you find someone to take care you? You probably won’t find your soulmate or anything tonight, but in order to find someone one day in the future, you may need to start actually socializing with the other gender.”
“I do socialize with the other gender,” I pointed out.
“Your family doesn’t count,” Chloe interjected and I threw a glare at her.
“I was talking about Sam,” I said, realizing that besides him, majority of my interactions with males were my family.
“Ah, that could be a good place to start,” Audrey said. “You know he likes you, why not just take it a little farther one day during rounds?”
“Because he’s Head Boy and I’m Head Girl and I would have to see him constantly afterwards and that would be awkward?” I said. “Besides I’m not attracted to him.”
“Okay valid,” Audrey said. “But you have start somewhere. Why not just go and try to talk to guys you are attracted to?”
“Why is your whole strategy of getting me to go to this Halloween party about guys?” I said. “Why not just a great night with friends? We are more than our relationships with guys you know.”
“Yes I do know,” Audrey said. “I am also a self-sufficient woman. But dating can be fun. It can suck, a lot, but it can also be fun. I guess my point is I want to see you happy with something besides school. And also, a lot of guys were excited to hear you were coming tonight. But if you would rather just focus on us hanging out, looking hot as hell, ignoring all the guys who fawn all over us, we can. I just, I don’t want you to get so caught up in books and studying and making the world so much of a better place that you avoid dating because you’re scared.”
“I am not scared of dating,” I said, under my breath. This earned me a disbelieving look from both Chloe and Audrey. “Fine, maybe I’m not thrilled with dating but still, scared is a little strong.”
“Scared, hesitant, frightened, you pick the adjective they all describe you Rose,” Chloe said.
Despite everything in me telling me that I shouldn’t say what I was about to say, I took a deep breath.
“Okay,” I said. “I’ll go. I might even talk to some guys. No promises though.”
Audrey broke out into a smile. “Yay!”
“I can’t believe you broke down,” Chloe said. “Al is going to be so confused when he sees you there in one of the costumes Audrey picked.”
“Yeah I should probably tell you, you won’t like the costumes I picked,” Audrey said, her face looking guilty. “They’re not your usual style. So you can pick first. Just remember Halloween is typically when people dress this way, so you won’t’ be the only one.”
She unzipped both the outfits and I groaned, wondering if I had just made an awful choice in going to this party.
“I can’t believe you chose these two outfits,” I said as we walked into the Room of Requirement.
“I can’t believe you actually chose to be the Devil,” Audrey said, adjusting her halo.
“This outfit covered up way more than that one,” I said, pointing at Audrey’s outfit. “I was lucky this skirt went to midthigh.”
“Unfortunately it is the patriarchy’s world Rose,” Audrey said. “The choices for women’s Halloween costumes is either sexy or mom. No in-between.”
“I think I would feel better in a mom costume,” I said, pulling my skirt down. “I feel like a slag.”
“Yeah well you look hot Rose,” Chloe said. She grabbed three shots from the bar handing one to each of us. “Take a drink and maybe you’ll start to feel more comfortable. Or at least start being less self-conscious.”
“I can’t drink,” I said. “I shouldn’t even be here, so I especially can’t drink. I’m Head Girl.”
“Sam is Head Boy and he is here and he is drinking,” Chloe said, pointing at Sam through the crowd. “Look you don’t have to if you don’t want to. But you’re here and this is a part of the experience.”
“You really don’t have to,” Audrey said. She downed her shot. “But it is a little fun to let loose once in a while. If you don’t want to that’s fine. If you really feel super uncomfortable in that dress and at this party you can leave. But, keep in mind that Luke Woods has been checking out since you got here and I know for a fact that you think he’s fit.”
I looked around and did in fact Luke Woods checking me out. He smiled at me and I gave a small smile back.
I glanced at my drink before looking at Chloe and Audrey.
“All a part of the experience?” I asked.
“Only if you want it to be,” Chloe said.
I poured the drink back into my mouth, feeling it burn down my throat. I scrunched up my face.
“I’m going to need another one of those before I forget what I’m wearing.”
“Ladies, I come bearing shots.”
"Al!” Chloe said, kissing him on the cheek as he approached us with a tray of shots.
“Hi babe,” he said, handing her a shot. “Audrey, Rose.” He frowned at me. “It’s nice to see you here, Rose but I wish I could see less of you.”
“Ha ha,” I said, grabbing a shot. “I’m not exactly thrilled about my outfit either.”
“Then why did you wear it?” Al asked.
“The Patriarchy, Al,” Audrey said. “The Patriarchy.”
“…right,” Al said, though he was clearly still confused. He gave a glance at Chloe, who just sent him a smile and wrapped her arms around him, tucking herself into him.
I felt a pull at my heart, seeing how safe Chloe looked and how Al held her like she was the most perfect thing in the world. As much as dating scared me, it was because the possibilities of getting what Chloe and Al have, something so wonderful and easy and perfect on the first try was near impossible.
And I was nothing if not a perfectionist.
“I um, I think I’m going to go walk around,” I said. “See if I can find Lily.”
“Do you want me to come with you?” Audrey asked. “I was hoping to find Louis anyway.”
“No, I can go on my own,” I said. “Thank you though. I’ll find you later okay?”
“Okay,” Audrey said. “Let me know if you leave or anything.”
“I will,” I said, walking away.
I took one last look at Al and Chloe, completely in their own world, and with the slightest bit of jealousy over what they have and turned around.
Where I saw the dance floor where everyone was dry humping each other. That was more of what I expected from dating. And it was something that I really wasn’t interested in.
I moseyed around the party for a little while, keeping my eyes out for Lily or Hugo, or anyone that I could talk with without feeling like they had other intentions. I felt eyes on me as I walked and was getting incredibly uncomfortable and was suddenly feeling desperate to hide myself. I eventually found an empty couch and, after much debate with myself, decided to sit down alone, feeling the side effects of my two shots catching up to me.
I had just begun to wonder if I should leave to go to bed or the library when someone joined me on the couch, nearly sitting on me in the process. I groaned internally, worrying that it was one of the invasive pairs of eyes I felt on me coming over to make a move.
“Ow,” I said, yanking my hand out from under their butt.
“Shit sorry,” he said.
I looked up to see Scorpius Malfoy sitting next to me.
Not that I ever would have admitted it to anyone, but I was grateful that it was Scorpius sitting next to me and not someone else. Although Scorpius and I weren’t friends by any means, we were always friendly towards each other; we didn’t have any of the sniping at each other that he had with my male relatives. He was always respectful towards me which is why, arguably for the first time in my life I felt more comfortable with Scorpius Malfoy than with any other boy in the room.
“Malfoy, you should really look before you sit down,” I said. I put my hand in his face, pretending to be dramatic. “You could have really hurt my hand with your butt.”
“Please, you’re just grateful that you got to touch my ass,” Scorpius said with a wink.
“You’re right I dream about you constantly,” I said, rolling my eyes.
“Well then at least my dreams about you aren’t for nothing,” he said, flashing me a smile.
Despite myself, I couldn’t help but feel myself flush at his comment. I awkwardly looked down at my legs, attempting to pull my skirt down since it had ridden up with I sat.
“How long does it take you to get drunk?” I asked randomly.
“What?” Scorpius said, confused.
“How long does it take you to get drunk?” I repeated. “Because I’ve only had two shots of firewhisky, but my head already feels light and dizzy almost? But like I’m not dizzy? My brain just feels like it’s light and spinning.”
Scorpius looked at me with a smile. “Well getting drunk varies for everyone. Since you’re not a drinker and you’re short, it will probably take less for you to get drunk than for me.”
“Hm,” I said, pondering this. “Interesting.”
“Is you being drunk why you’ve been so friendly during this exchange?”
“I’m always friendly!” I said. Scorpius raised his eyebrows at me. “At least with you. I always thought that we were very respectful and nice to each other.”
“We are, to a point,” Scorpius said. “You have never made an effort to actually have a conversation like this to me. Most of our conversations that have lasted this long were about school work.”
“Yes apparently that is an issue for me,” I said, more to myself than to him. “Audrey has informed me I spend too much time worry about school work and not enough about dating and boys.”
“Dating isn’t all it’s cracked up to be,” Scorpius said, taking a drink. “But is there a reason you haven’t dated anyone? Merlin knows there are plenty of willing guys?”
“Where are these guys?” I asked, confused. “You’re the second person to bring them up.”
Scorpius laughed. “So, specific reason for not dating?”
“I don’t know,” I said shrugging. “I guess, in truth, I haven’t really met anyone who I found interesting enough to date.” I put my hand over my eyes, realizing what that sounded like. “Oh Merlin did I just sound like a total snob?”
“No, just honest,” Scorpius said. “But if that’s the case, then you’re making the right choice. Dating someone who isn’t interesting isn’t all that great.”
“Well apparently I’m missing out,” I said.
“You’re not,” Scorpius said leaning his head back on the back of the couch. “Unless you enjoy being ignored by people you fancy and getting more attention from people you don’t.”
I leaned my head back on the couch, mirroring him. “Who would ignore Scorpius Malfoy, especially when he fancies them? My understanding was you could have anyone you wanted in this school.”
Scorpius laughed. “Don’t believe everything you hear.”
I smiled at him, suddenly realizing how close our faces were. Despite myself, I couldn’t help but admire his face. His features were pointy and he had the signature Malfoy blonde hair that went along with his pale skin. Although I had never thought anything about how Scorpius Malfoy looked, I found myself very content to keep looking at him for the rest of the night and never leaving this couch.
I noticed that he too, seemed to be taking my face in going over all my features before meeting my eyes again. I suddenly got the most overwhelming urge to lean forward and close the distance between us, especially since we had this whole couch to ourselves.
Audrey had said it was all a part of the experience right?
Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on how you look at it, we were interrupted.
I looked up, seeing a tall brunette, motioning Scorpius over. As I looked at her, seeing how utterly gorgeous she was, I felt my stomach drop, wondering why I had even thought that he was flirting with me and feeling like an idiot for thinking of kissing him, when this girl wanted his attention.
When Scorpius didn’t immediately get up, she gave him a pointed look, causing him to sigh. I looked at him; the look on his face seemed almost annoyed that this beautiful, model like girl was calling him over.
“Sorry I have to take care of something,” Scorpius said, his voice sounding slightly defeated. He stood up and offered a hand out to me.
“It’s okay,” I said, grabbing his hand and standing up as well. Once standing, I immediately dropped his hand, ignoring the emptiness I felt without it.
“If you drink some water it will help with the head dizziness,” Scorpius said. “It will just sober you up a little.”
“Oh, thank you!” I said. “Sorry for keeping you from…um…” I looked back at the beautiful girl, who was sending smirks to Scorp, which he met with a glare. “From your girl…person. I’ll see you class Monday okay?”
I left before he could finish, disliking all the feelings that I had and the disappointment I felt that he had to go. However, knowing that he was probably right about the water, I walked over to the bar.
“Could I get water please?” I asked the house elf there, knowing mum would lose her mind if she knew House Elves were working and also providing alcohol to underage students.
He handed me a water bottle. “It’s automatically refiling Miss.”
“Thank you so much,” I said. “You are getting paid for this right?”
“Oh yes,” the house elf said. “Mr. Potter and Mr. Weasley are most generous to us house elves! We are getting payment and clothes!”
I smiled, thrilled that my mum’s lecturing about House Elves rights had a lasting effect with Al and Louis. I went to open the bottle when I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned around to see my fellow Head, Sam Nathanson.
I had to withhold the groan I wanted at the sight of him.
Sam wasn’t a bad guy. He was just kind of annoying. Audrey was right when she said that he had a crush on me—he had asked me out on a few occasions and even though he was always respectful of me when I said no, I always got the feeling that whenever we did anything together or he did anything for me, that he was doing so to try to get me to feel the same way about him that he felt about me. And I just didn’t. I couldn’t even find him attractive, because he was just so…normal looking. He had dark hair and dark eyes and was average height and honestly just looked like a generic white guy.
I tended to like a guy who looked different from people. Who stood out from the crowd a little more.
My mind immediately brought a certain blond with pointy features into my head, which I took to mean I needed to drink some water to sober up.
“Hi Sam,” I said, before taking a huge gulp of water.
"Hey Rose," Sam said. He looked at me up and down, taking in my costume. "Nice costume."
“Um,” I said, suddenly feeling very self-conscious with his eyes on me. “Thanks?”
His eyes kept glancing downwards and I knew he was staring at my chest. “Can I buy you a drink?”
“No thank you,” I said. I held up my water. “I’m trying to sober up. I’m probably going to leave soon.”
Sam smirked and moved closer to me. “Really? Well maybe I’ll leave soon too.”
I may not have had a lot of experience with boys, but I knew enough to understand what he was implying. I immediately began looking for an escape, particularly someone that I knew.
Or maybe one of my overprotective male cousins or brother. Because this would have been a good time for them to show up.
Sam moved closer to me, putting his hand on my waist. “We could always just leave together.”
My heart immediately started beating faster as I began to go through all the statistics of situations that start like this. I tried quickly to think of a way out of this.
“Um, well, Sam-“
“Weasley there you are!”
Sam and I both looked up and saw the tall brunette that had called Scorpius away appear. Up close, I was able to recognize her as Emily Goyle, one of the seventh year Slytherins. She immediately pulled me out of Sam’s grasp and into a hug.
“Play along,” she whispered in my ear before letting me go. “Oh good you got the water. I’ll get one too. I was wondering where you went to! I’ve barely gotten to see you all night!”
“Yeah,” I said, trying to improvise on the spot. “I tried looking for you but couldn’t find you.”
“Well I found you now, so we finally get to hang out!” She said. She ordered water from the bar, giving a smile to the house elf before turning to Sam and immediately meeting him with a glare. “Nathanson.”
“Goyle,” Sam said. “Rose and I were actually just leaving-“
“No you weren’t,” Goyle said. Her tone was light, but there was an edge to it that could not be missed. “Weasley promised me we would finally hang out tonight so I’m not letting her leave with you! But have a good night!”
“Bye Nathanson!” Emily said, grabbing my hand and pulling me away.
Once she had dragged me away from the bar and out of Sam’s line of sight, she turned to me.
“Are you okay?” she asked, her tone serious.
“Yes,” I said. “Why did you do that back there?”
“Because you looked incredibly uncomfortable,” Emily said. “And scared. And I was not going to just see that and not do something. I don’t know what Nathanson is capable of but I’m not going to take a chance to find out. Also I know you don’t normally wear outfits like that, just like I don’t wear outfits like this, so I figured you might just be as uncomfortable as I am from all the outer male attention. And I wasn’t going to let a guy think your outfit meant something it didn’t.”
I nodded, understanding, hearing this type of rant of Audrey often.
“Well thank you,” I said. “I don’t think anything bad would have happened but in that off chance I appreciate it.”
“Yeah well if us girls don’t look out for each other who will?” Emily said. “I’m Emily Goyle. I know who you are, but I don’t think we’ve ever been properly introduced.”
“Rose Weasley,” I said, reaching my hand out to shake hers.
An awkward silence descended over us, so I took a drink of water.
“Sorry about pulling Scorpius earlier,” Emily said.
“Oh you’re fine,” I said. At the mention of Scorpius, I immediately tried to think of everything I had ever heard of her and Scorpius’s relationship. “You don’t have to apologize.”
“Well, it just seemed like you guys were, um, hitting it off,” she said, a sly grin on her face.
My face immediately flushed and I looked away from her at all the dancing bodies. “I mean, sure.”
“Scorp’s a really good guy,” Emily said. Although her tone was casual, as if she was just saying he was a good guy, I was having flashbacks of when Al liked Chloe and I was trying to set them up.
“I’m sure he is,” I said, suddenly feeling a whole different kind of uncomfortable. I was sure that Scorpius was a good guy, but the fact that my male cousins could barely stand to be in the same room as him made it near impossible to think of what him being a good guy could do with me. “You know, I actually think I am going to go.”
“Are you sure?” Emily said. “Do you want me to walk with you?”
“No I’ll just see if I can find one of my cousins,” I said, though I had no intention of doing that. “I have my wand anyway; I’ll just carry it so that I’m ready if I need it. Thank you so much for earlier, I’ll see you in class!”
“Bye,” Emily said, though I could tell she was confused as to my sudden departure.
I turned around, moving towards the door, keeping my eyes open for Audrey to see if maybe she would want to walk with me. Chloe I knew would be with Al, or could already be in the Gryffindor Tower with Al, so I had no expectations of seeing her anywhere.
I was so focused on looking for Audrey that I ran right in to somebody’s back.
“Oh, Merlin, I’m sorry!” I said. The person turned around and I almost had to scream at my luck.
“We sure seem to be accidentally hurting each other tonight don’t’ we?” Malfoy said with a sly smile.
“Yep,” I said, breathlessly. After everything that had happened tonight, running into Malfoy and suddenly feeling very flustered was not something I wanted.
“Ah, nearly empty water bottle,” Malfoy said, tapping my water with his fingers. “We won’t talk as much as we did earlier since your sober now. Probably just school.”
“You know I do talk about other things besides school when I’m sober,” I said, feeling defensive.
Scorpius shrugged. “Wouldn’t know. You always limit your conversations to just school with me.”
He sent me a smirk and, despite myself, I couldn’t help but smile back.
“Are you leaving?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I said, but I found that while I wanted to leave the party, now that I found Malfoy again, I didn’t really want to leave him. “Um, would you, um, would you want to go for a walk with me?”
“A walk?” Scorpius asked. His brows furrowed together and I could tell he was confused as to why I would ask him to walk with me.
“Yeah,” I said, suddenly losing all bravery I had in the one second I asked him to walk with him. “Don’t worry about it, it was stupid-“
“Yeah, um, yeah I’ll walk with you,” Scorpius said, seeming almost flustered. “Let me just, tell Alex where I’m going.”
I nodded and he walked over to a guy, Alex I assumed, telling him he was leaving. His friend looked at me and got a huge smirk on his face, slapping Scorpius on the back, causing Scorpius to glare at him. Scorpius said one last thing to him, still looking annoyed by his friend’s laughter, before walking over to me.
“What was all that about?” I asked.
“He’s just being Alex,” Scorpius said. “Nothing important. Ready to go?”
I nodded. Scorpius let me go first, placing his hand on the small of my back, guiding me forward and keeping us together as we moved through the large crowd. Once we exited the room, his hand dropped from my back.
“Is your head heavy again?” Scorpius asked. I frowned at him in confusion. “You said your head was light early when you were drinking. Since your sober I was wondering if maybe your head was heavy again.”
“Oh,” I said, remembering my rambling about my head weight. “Yeah, my head is heavy again. At least, heavier than it was when we last talked.”
Scorpius nodded and we walked in silence for a little bit, both of us unsure of what to say.
“Sorry about early,” Scorpius said. “Emily, the girl who pulled me away, she needed me. A guy kept bugging her and she couldn’t find Alex, so I had to hang out with her until the guy backed off.”
“It’s okay,” I said. “Um Emily actually did the same for me too, so I understand.”
“What do you mean?”
“Sam Nathanson? He was just hitting on me and as I tend to do when a guy shows interest in me I was very uncomfortable but didn’t know how to get out,” I said. “Emily came and brought me away.”
Scorpius nodded. “So Nathanson was hitting on you?”
“Yeah,” I said. “It’s not new. He’s fancied me for a while so I’m used to it. He was just a little more, um, persistent, I guess.”
“Wanker,” Scorpius said under his breath. I shot him a questioning look. “For being persistent. Glad Emily was there.”
“Yeah,” I said. “Probably would have been fine, but I’m grateful.”
Another silence fell over us.
“So where are we going?” Scorpius asked, looking around the corridor.
“I don’t know,” I admitted, suddenly feeling very stupid for inviting a guy I barely knew and didn’t even like out for a walk in the middle of the night. “I was planning on just going back to the Gryffindor Tower but then after running into you I just felt like a walk.”
I really hoped that didn’t sound as desperate out loud as it did in my head. I stared down at the ground, hoping to hide my mortification.
Maybe I was still drunk.
I snuck a peek over at Scorpius and saw that he had a small smile on his face.
“Sometimes a walk can be nice,” he said. “The castle is different at night.”
“Yeah,” I said. “Doing rounds are always weird to do at night. Although I refuse to do the dungeons by myself. Too creepy.”
“Oh come on, the dungeons are not that creepy at night,” Scorpius said, stopping in front of me and facing me. “You’re supposed to be a Gryffindor, where is all that bravery?”
“I have a theory that the Sorting Hat saw the red hair and heard the name Weasley and put me into Gryffindor without looking at what was really in my head,” I said, smiling at him. “I always thought I should have been in Ravenclaw.”
Scorpius smiled. “Well let’s go then.”
“Go where?” I asked.
“Down to the dungeons,” Scorpius said. I scoffed at him. “Come on, everyone is either at the party or asleep. It’s the perfect time. You don’t have to worry at about any mean Slytherins hiding to scare you.”
I laughed. “Yes that is definitely my worse fear.”
“Come on it would be fun. I’ll even show you the Slytherin Common Room if you want,” Scorpius said, a twinkle in his eye.
“Interesting,” I said. "But if this is one of your tricks to get me in bed it won't work Malfoy."
"I would never try to get you in bed," Scorpius said. "Your father would kill me."
I couldn’t help but laugh at his response. He looked down at me, smiling and my stomach was once again filled with the feeling I got from looking at him earlier.
“Okay,” I said, hoping that maybe, just maybe, my emotions would disappear if I started talking. “We can go. But only if you take me to the Slytherin Common Room.”
“Promise,” Scorpius said. He held his pinky out. “Pinky promise.”
I joined my pinky with his, solidifying his promise.
“Well let’s go then.”
As Scorpius and I walked down to the dungeons and all around them, we talked the whole time. He told me how he first started playing Quidditch and how he was an only child but he always wanted a sibling. I told him about what having a sibling is actually like and about wanting to be a Healer since I first went to a St. Mungo’s when I was 7 and got bit by a gnome.
“Alright here it is,” Scorpius said, motioning to a portrait. “Cover your ears so you don’t hear the password.”
“Seriously?” I said.
“Yes,” Scorpius responded. “I’m already showing you the Common Room. Merlin knows that is some sort of crime, especially since you’re a Gryffindor. We’re supposed to hate each other, remember?”
“Sure,” I said. “Fine, I’ll do it.”
I covered my ears and watched as Scorpius says the password before he led me into the dark Common Room.
“What do you think?” Scorpius said.
“It’s dark,” I said. “Which makes sense, since you guys are under the lake.”
“Yeah,” Scorpius said. “Gets cold down here sometimes.”
“I’m sure,” I said, walking towards the bookcase. “You guys have a great book selection.”
I felt Scorpius come up behind me, looking at the books over my head.
“Yeah, I don’t know how often they get read,” Scorpius said. He reached past my head and pulled a book out. “This is my favorite.”
He handed it down to me and I turned to face him.
“A History of Magic by Bathilda Bagshot,” I said, reading the title. “A good book. So you’re a big history fan? Or was this just the one book you actually made it through?”
“Oh ha ha,” Scorpius said. “Although it was one of the first books about magic that I got all the way through, I just liked it. Comprehensive stories of magic throughout time. Haven’t read the newest edition that includes your parents and my dad, but considering my father’s part during that time, I may skip it.”
I snuck a look at him. He was looking up at the other books, his sharp jaw locked, and I could tell that his father’s past made him upset.
“It’s hard when your parents are a part of history huh?” I said, relaxing against the bookcase, hoping to show him I understood.
“At least your parents were on the right side of history,” Scorpius said, his eyes meeting mine. They were intense, clearly feeling guilt for something he wasn’t even alive for. He grabbed the book, stepping forward slightly to put it away above my head.
“Still tough,” I said. “Expectations to be as good as them.”
“That might be worse that the expectation to be completely different and better than them,” Scorpius muttered.
I shrugged, looking up at him. “Not worse. Just different. Hard to be your own person with their shadows huh?”
Scorpius looked down at me, with a concentrated look, almost as if he couldn’t believe that he found someone who actually understood him. I couldn’t believe that I had found someone outside of my family who understood. I had thought no one would be able to understand.
“You know I never realized you probably would have understood this problem too,” Scorpius said, a smile on his face.
“Right back at ya,” I said, smiling up at him.
His eyes scanned my face again and his eyes landed on my lips, before he cleared his throat and broke eye contact.
“You probably want to go back to your dorm now,” he said and I felt slightly deflated at his words. “Since you’ve officially seen the Common Room.”
“Oh,” I said, my smile dropping. “I guess.”
“I can walk you back if you want,” Scorpius said. “You know, try to be chivalrous and all.”
“I thought chivalry was a Gryffindor trait?” I said. “Why would a Slytherin need to be chivalrous?”
“It’s like you said,” Scorpius shrugged. “Sometimes I think the Sorting Hat saw the blond hair and the Malfoy name and placed me without even looking at what’s actually in my head.” Scorpius sighed. “It’s that damn shadow again.”
I stared at him until he met my eyes again. As soon as his eyes met mine, I felt the room shift and all my focus turn onto him and his face. The room was quiet, and the only thing I could focus on was his breathing.
I gulped before speaking gently. “You know I’m starting to think you’re maybe the one person to really understand what it’s like with that shadow.”
“Yeah,” Scorpius said, nodding. “I think you may be the only person I know that understands it too.”
“Quite the connection we have,” I said quietly, looking up at him.
“Yeah,” he said softly, his eyes drifting down to my lips again before meeting my eyes once more.
His gaze was forceful and I found my heart was racing a thousand miles a minute. I was very aware of the bookcase on my back and the small distance between us; it would have been so easy to pull him down to me and sandwich myself between him and the bookcase.
Before my brain caught up with my body, I had reached forward on my tip toes, kissing him softly on the lips. He kissed me back, ever so softly and I felt his hands lightly touch my waist. His hands on my body sent a shock through me and I pulled away, as if realizing what I was doing, opening my eyes to look at Scorpius’s face.
His eyes were closed and his lips were parted, he was clearly still in shock by what had just happened, just as I was. His eyes opened and he looked at him his eyes a mixture of confusion, excitement, and I would even say want.
“I…” I tried to think of some excuse for my actions.
“Rose,” Scorpius said softly. He opened his mouth to say more, but I cut him off, suddenly overwhelmed by the way he said my name.
I grabbed his face with my hands and pulled him down again, attaching my lips to his. He met me enthusiastically, his arms wrapping around my waste, pulling me as close to him as possible.
I had never kissed someone like that, desperate, wanting, and personally hoping that it never had to end. Although I knew so many things about it was wrong, kissing Scorpius Malfoy in the Slytherin Common room was not exactly my idea of a perfect snog session, I couldn’t help but want him all the more for it. In this moment, he wasn’t Scorpius Malfoy, the boy my family detested, the boy I only talked to about school.
No, in that moment, he was simply Scorpius Malfoy, the one person who actually understood the pressure of living in someone’s shadow and all the issues that came from it.
And because of that, I only wanted more of him, to escape the shadows that casted us together. To escape the obsessive need to be as perfect as possible. To be so scared of making a mistake that I never took a risk.
I broke the kiss and looked up at him.
“Where’s your room?”
Scorpius looked down at me, clearly not expecting this from me. “What?”
“Where is your room?” I said, letting one of my hands fall from his face to his shoulder.
“Rose, we don’t have to-“
“I know,” I said. I ran my hand down from his shoulder to his hand, pulling it into mine and squeezing it, before pulling myself out of his grasp and pulling him towards the staircase, which I could only assume led to his dorm.
He let me lead him, giving me directions when I needed them, until I opened the door that read Seventh Year Boys.
Scorpius let go of my hand, walking over to what must have been his bed and sitting down on it. I walked over to him, inserting myself between his legs. I was about to lean in to kiss him again, but his hands caught at my waist, pushing me back.
“Just say stop and we will,” he whispered.
I kissed him, wrapping my arms around him and pulling him as close to me as possible as we fell back onto his bed.
I never asked him to stop. I never wanted him to.
So I didn’t, instead enjoying every moment of the escape from real life.
Chapter 2: Chapter 2
“How many healing schools are you actually applying to again?”
“Definitely applying to, at least 4 but I have a huge list of some that I want to look into further,” I said as we descended into the common room. “Need to make sure I will get into at least one school.”
When I woke up the next morning, the curtains around Scorpius’s bed were drawn, but there was no mistaking the gentle snores, meaning that his roommates were back. I felt Scorpius’s arms wrapped around me, holding me close to him, his chest pressed against my back and our hands intertwined. The gentle snores were a reminder that I had to somehow get out of here without anyone noticing me.
Because that was something I really didn’t want to deal with.
I rubbed my eyes, trying to wake myself up, my movement causing Scorpius to groan and pull me closer to his chest. He pressed a sleepy kiss to my neck before nuzzling into it.
Although I knew that I needed to leave, it was hard to ignore how wonderful it felt to be cuddled by him. It was a reminder to how nice the night before had been. Scorpius had been gentle and let me set the pace, asking me if I was sure before we started having sex. He made me feel safe the whole time.
And now, cuddling with him made me feel the same way too. Safe. But also, terrified.
Because I hadn’t thought any of my actions through last night. I was so enamored by Scorpius and feeling understood for once, that I got careless and didn’t think of the possible outcomes or repercussions of it.
Or at the very least how I was going to get out of the Slytherin dorms without anyone noticing me.
I pulled myself away from Scorpius slightly, opening the curtain just enough to grab his watch from his nightstand and look at the time. It said it was five forty seven in the morning, meaning that if I left now, I would probably be able to get out without anyone noticing me.
I looked around the bed, looking for my clothes and saw them folded at my feet. My heart fluttered, realizing Scorpius must have done this while I was sleeping, and suddenly I wanted to leave less than I did before, wanting instead to return to cuddling with him and dealing with the consequences later.
But, the logical part of my brain was wide awake, knowing that if I laid back down, I would have to deal not only with rumors flying around Hogwarts about me and Scorpius, but someone potentially leaking it to the press and ruining the spotless reputation I had upheld so far.
I moved myself out of Scorpius’s arms, moving towards the feet of the bed to put my clothes back on. Scorpius stirred when I moved myself away from him, his hand moving across where I had just been.
“Rose?” he said softly, before going back to sleep. I quickly put my costume on, grabbing my wand from the pocket it was stashed in.
“Lumos,” I whispered, thankful that I could finally see. I shivered, feeling cold, and noticed that at the bottom of my pile of clothes, under my shoes, there was a jacket, almost as if Scorpius knew that I would be cold.
I put the sweatshirt on, feeling cozy in the warmth and trying to not be happy about the fact that it smelled like Scorpius.
I crawled back up towards Scorpius, pushing his hair to the side of his face, taking in his features one last time before I left. I couldn’t help but lean down, kissing his forehead, before peeking out the curtain and tiptoeing out of the room.
I walked carefully out of the Slytherin Common room, making sure that no one was there before walking gently across the room and out the portrait. I continued walking carefully, listening for footsteps, but fortunately the castle was dead.
When I finally reached The Fat Lady, she berated me for waking her up and gave me a once over, before commenting on my outfit and letting me in.
I continued to walk carefully up to my dorm, closing the door gently before noticing that it was empty. I gave a sigh of relief before I walked to my trunk and grabbing my PJs and changing into them. I threw the devil costume on Audrey’s bed and, despite myself, pulled Scorpius’s blue sweatshirt over me, zipping it up, before crawling into my bed and going back to sleep.
I woke up when Audrey walked in the door the next morning shoes in hand.
“Morning,” I said, stretching.
“Morning,” Audrey said. “Merlin my head is killing me.”
“Too much fun last night?” I asked. “Where even did you sleep?”
“Just in Lou’s bed,” Audrey said. When I gave her a questioning look, she shook her head at me. “He slept on the ground. I just got a little too drunk last night and couldn’t make it to my dorm.”
“How chivalrous of him,” I said.
“Don’t do that,” Audrey said.
“Don’t do what?”
“The whole thing where you say something but you really mean something else,” Audrey said. “I know what you think of my friendship with Louis.”
“I think nothing of your friendship with Lou,” I said. “I just think that you sometimes fool yourself into thinking it is friendship when it’s not.”
Audrey sighed. “It is a friendship. Even if I felt differently I wouldn’t do anything about it. I am still recovering from the last time I tried that and all the wonderful mental health issues it contributed to.”
I noticed Audrey pulling down her sleeve, pulling my eyes away before she could see me.
“You know I made a rule. No dating until I am sure about the person and in a place where I feel mentally healthy enough that I won’t spiral.”
“And you’ve been in a mentally healthy place for two years now,” I said. “So are you not sure about Lou?”
“It has nothing to do with him,” Audrey said. “It’s seventh year. Too much is going to change come June. That is my focus. Dating is fun, yes, but I’ve done that a good amount. I’m not going to let societies expectations of me to only want to date and find a guy get in the way of my career at the Ministry. I didn’t do that internship with your mum this past summer for nothing. You of all people should understand that, Future Healer Weasley.” She finished changing. “Now Lou and I are going to get breakfast; do you want to come down to the Great Hall with us?”
“Yeah just give me one second to change,” I said, getting out of bed.
“So where did you end up running off too?” Audrey asked as I changed.
“What do you mean?”
“Last night?” Audrey said. “You left us and then I didn’t see you the rest of the night.”
“Oh,” I said. “I ended up coming back not long after we got there. The alcohol didn’t really agree with me.”
“Shame,” Audrey said. “There were some cute guys asking me about you.”
I felt my face flush. “Really?”
“Yeah,” Audrey said. “But it’s not a big deal. I more wanted you to go so you could realize you could date someone if you wanted to.”
A face flashed into my head and I quickly shook it out, feeling my neck grow hot at the thought of the night before and who that someone was. I knew that if I wanted to date someone, it would probably the one person I actually felt a connection to for the first time.
“Thanks but I don’t think I will be dating any time soon,” I said as I pulled my hair back into a ponytail. “Like you said, too much changing in June and too many other things to focus on. Ready?”
Audrey nodded and I followed her out of the room.
“How many healing schools are you actually applying to again?”
“Definitely applying to, at least 4 but I have a huge list of some that I want to look into further,” I said as we descended into the common room. “Need to make sure I will get into at least one school.”
“You’ll probably get into all of those schools,” Audrey said, waving at Louis where he stood next to the Portrait Hole.
“Finally,” he said. “Took you forever.”
“Well I found Rose and needed to wait for her to get ready,” Audrey said. “Aren’t you going to be thankful I brought your most favorite cousin to come to breakfast with us?”
“I’m always happy to see Rose, but I’m also starving and in desperate need of some hangover food,” Louis said. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders, giving me a small side hug. “Please do not feel like my lack of enthusiasm at seeing you have anything to do with you.”
“It’s okay Lou,” I said as we walked out of the Common Room. “I’m sure you’re hungry and irritable that you had to hear Chloe and Al doing it all night too.”
“I think they cast the charm last night,” Audrey said. “It was definitely quiet from his bed. Either that or they didn’t do anything, which is not them at all.”
“Seriously,” Louis said. “The amount of times I’ve had to pretend not to hear them is ridiculous. At least they’ve gotten better at closing the curtains all the way. There was one too many times of seeing Al’s butt for me to handle.”
“If you’re going to do it in a dorm room it’s just common courtesy to pull the blinds around the bed and cast a silencing charm,” Audrey said. “So take note of that Rose in case someone actually ever catches your fancy.”
My face immediately felt hot and flashes of the night before and the fact that we did pull the curtains and cast a silencing charm was very apparent to me. I bit my lip, suddenly wanting to go back in time and relive it, and even realizing that I could, since we did everything right the first time. A part of me though, wondered if it was right. Yes, there was the connection, but just because I connected with someone didn’t mean I had to sleep with them.
“Ew Audrey,” Louis said. “Please don’t talk about that.”
“She’s a human woman with needs, Louis,” Audrey said, matter-of-factly. “It’s going to happen eventually. Just hope it’s not with Sam and therefore not in your room.”
“I hate this conversation,” Louis said, looking incredibly uncomfortable. “Please, can we change the topic?”
“I second that,” I said as we walked toward the Great Hall.
“Merlin I hope they have pancakes today,” Louis said, veering to one side of the Gryffindor table, Audrey following behind him. I walked along the opposite side of the table, so that we’d be able to sit across from each other when the time came
“That’s what you want to change the topic to?” Audrey said. “How hungry you are?”
“Well it’s a great topic and also I can barely think of anything else when I am so hungry,” Louis said, sitting down on the bench.
“Well, be happy because there are pancakes,” Audrey said, sitting next to him. She watched him a small smile on her face, as he wiggled his shoulders in excitement before pulling a stack of pancakes onto his plate.
Audrey looked down before smiling to herself. She looked up at me and that smile immediately dropped at what I’m sure was a smug look on my face. She stuck her tongue out at me before reaching for the apple in front of her and breaking eye contact.
I laughed to myself before looking past her at the Ravenclaw table where a first year was looking very sick, yet continued to shove more chocolate into his face.
There was a lot of movement from behind him at the Slytherin table and I looked over to see Emily throwing tiny pieces of pancake into someone, who I recognized as Alex, the guy Scorpius talked to last night before we left. I immediately straightened up, realizing that if they were there, Scorpius must be close by. Despite myself, I immediately looked next to them to see Scorpius sitting next to Emily, laughing as Alex got hit in the face from a pancake.
He stretched his arms over his head, his blue eyes scanning the Great Hall as he did so. When his eyes reached mine, they stopped and he pulled his arms back down. Scorpius immediately straightened his back and gave me a smile. Despite myself, I gave him a smile back, feeling myself redden at his gaze. That strong pull to him that I felt last night returned, that connection that I had never felt before was full force in me. I suddenly felt very eager to be alone with him again, not just to repeat what happened last night, but also just to talk with him again. I broke eye contact, choosing instead to look at the table, feeling very flustered.
“You okay there Rosie?” Louis asked. “You have a weird look on your face.”
“Yeah I’m fine,” I said, trying to bring my face back to normal. “A first year over there just looks like he’s about to puke.”
Audrey and Lou look behind him.
"Ugh, poor kid,” Audrey said. “Too much candy will do that to you.”
"Not to mention the obnoxious arseholes behind him,” Louis said. “I feel like puking every time they’re near me too.
“Merlin, Lou, they’re not that bad,” Audrey said, shaking her head.
“I’ll say that Goyle isn’t that bad. She’s quiet and really is only competitive with Quidditch and doesn’t appear to have the same compensation issues the other two have,” Louis said, nodding at Alex and Scorpius.
“Your rivalry with them is stupid,” Audrey said. “It was a long time ago-“
“They’ve been bastards the whole time,” Louis said. “This is more than them pulling a dumb prank when we were 12. They’re pureblood arses who think they’re better than everyone else, just like all of the Slytherins. Zabini and Malfoy barely give anyone the time of day if they don’t deem them worthy enough. Not to mention how they go through girls.”
My head snapped up immediately at this. I had never paid much attention to the rumor mill, especially when it concerned Malfoy, but after what happened last night, I found myself immediately curious as to if I was one of many girls Scorpius Malfoy had slept with.
Curious as to if I had made up that connection I felt with him.
Curious if I had fallen for some trick.
“Yes because your so chaste,” Audrey said, rolling her eyes. “They’re dating habits are no different than yours.”
“Please I treat girls better than them. Zabini hooks up with so many girls and makes them think he’ll commit but then when they ask him, he immediately backs away. Probably because he’s too busy shagging Goyle to be willing to give that up,” Louis said.
“Not appreciating you calling Goyle ‘that’, Louis,” Audrey said, her voice stern.
“I didn’t call her that, I mean he’s not willing to stop sleeping with her,” Louis said. “Zero objectification intended. But it’s not even Zabini. At least he’s up front with girls. Malfoy knows exactly what to do to get into girls pants and then drops them without a second glance once he gets what he wants.”
My heart was beating fast at his words and I was trying to maintain a neutral expression so that my sudden guilt about what happened the night before didn’t come through.
I knew that Louis hated Malfoy. I knew that and I knew that what he was saying was probably skewed because of his opinions of Malfoy. But none of that mattered.
All I heard and all that mattered to me was the fact that Scorpius Malfoy apparently had a reputation for finding a way into girls’ pants. For finding some sort of connection with them, getting in their pants and then dropping them.
And I fell for it. I made a reckless decision to sleep with him, to have the first person I ever slept with be him, because I thought he understood the one thing that made my life so different and difficult and contributed to so many of my own issues. That he understood the pressures of the shadows of our parents.
“And these birds just fall for it and eat it up,” Louis said. “Doesn’t matter if they’re intelligent girls, as soon as Scorpius Malfoy is involved they all turn to putty.”
“Lou, girls do the same thing with you!” Audrey said. “You only hate them because they are you.”
“They’re worse,” Louis said. “Especially Malfoy. Bloke thinks he’s king of the castle and should get whatever he wants and that includes girls. Merlin, I’m just lucky that our family is all on the same page about him. I don’t know what I would do if someone ever did anything with either of them.”
I felt nauseous at his words. Not only did I fall for Malfoy’s stupid tricks, but in doing so I also felt as though I had betrayed my family because of their stupid rivalry with him.
The first time in so long that I had been careless, that I hadn’t thought my actions through, and I ended up losing my virginity to a guy who will just add a notch in belt and who my family couldn’t even stand.
Even if Malfoy wasn’t a jerk, the fact that my family despised him would make it impossible for it to ever go beyond that.
“I have to go,” I said suddenly, needing to be out of there so that I could process all of this. “I, um, just remembered that I left my Arithmency book in the library and I need to make sure I don’t lose it.”
"Are you okay?” Audrey asked giving me a funny look.
“Yeah, I just need to do that before I forget,” I said, standing up and not making eye contact with them.
“Rose you haven’t even eaten anything,” Louis said.
I grabbed a biscuit. “I’ll eat it on the way. Bye guys.”
I walked away quickly, taking a bite of the biscuit out of stress. As I exited out of the Great Hall, I took a sharp right, and slammed right into someone’s back.
“Ow!” I said, looking at the ground where my biscuit now sat.
I looked up at the body I ran into and wanted to scream.
Scorpius Malfoy gave me a smirk as he turned and I felt my insides churn.
“Hey Rose,” he said. “We got to stop meeting like this.”
“No,” I said, walking away. “No, no, no.”
“Rose?” Scorpius said, jogging to catch up with me. “Hey, woah are you okay? You look anxious.”
“I don’t want to talk to you,” I said, trying to keep moving. My heart was beating so fast I could hear it in my ears and all I wanted to be away and stop hearing you made a huge mistake playing over and over again my head.
“Wait, what?” Scorpius asked, confused. He grabbed my arm gently, slowing me down enough for him to get in front of me and stop me from walking. I was very grateful that during my speed walk, I had managed to walk far enough away that we couldn’t be seen from the Great Hall Entrance. “Rose what’s wrong?”
My heart skipped a beat at the fact that he had called me Rose this whole time, the fact that he seemed genuinely concerned about me.
My head however just kept replaying the words that Louis said about how he managed to fake a connection with girls.
“I don’t want to talk to you,” I said, feeling my blood pounding through me. “You don’t know me. And I don’t want you to.”
“What?” Scorpius said, seeming hurt by my words. “Rose if this is about last night-“
“I don’t want to talk about last night,” I said quickly. “I don’t want to talk to you. I want nothing to do with you.”
“No, we’re done,” I said. “I don’t want to talk to you, Malfoy.”
Scorpius looked at me, his mouth slightly open and his eyes confused. My heart was beating loud and I felt my blood coursing through my veins as if it was vibrating and I knew that an anxiety attack was coming, almost fully here, yet as I looked into Malfoy’s eyes, I almost felt myself calming down. I almost felt as though the connection we had the night before wasn’t made up in my head, that he did empathize with me and that if I told him what was going on, he would listen and understand what I was talking about.
But I heard Louis’s words more, heard myself saying not to fall for his tricks again, felt the anxiety coursing through at the fear of being made a fool of again, of disappointing my family again.
So with that I pulled my arm out of his grasp and walked swiftly away from him until I found an empty alcove by the kitchens, far away from anyone, and fell apart.
Since the day after Halloween, my life had more or less returned to normal. I had made peace with the fact that Scorpius and I had slept together and that I fell for his charms. I hadn’t told anyone about that night and, quite honestly, I wasn’t sure I was planning to.
But I did find myself wondering how true Louis’s words were about Scorpius and his love life. At least the part about him faking a connection and then tossing girls aside. His actual sexual history did not bother me.
I questioned Louis’s words because the day after Halloween, Scorpius had seen so sincere when asking me what was wrong and hurt when I lashed out at him. He was even acting as if I hurt him, or at least his ego the past few weeks.
He was avoiding looking at me and refused to speak to me. While we never spoke much anyway, he would sometimes greet me when we sit near each other in class or ask me questions about assignments when I saw him in the library. But that all disappeared. He was respecting the fact that I told him I didn’t want to talk to him. Even though I hadn’t given him a reason or a justification, he heard me and was doing it.
And it only stung a little that he no longer would look at me.
His behavior also made me wonder if he had told anyone. I had assumed that he would have and that some rumor would spread around, but I heard nothing. His friends Emily and Alex were the same to me as ever, being polite, but not overly friendly.
“What’s going on with you and Malfoy?” Chloe asked one day during Charms. Flitwick was lecturing, so we were sure to keep our voices down.
“What do you mean?” I asked, mimicking the motion Flitwick had just made.
“You guys aren’t talking,” Chloe whispered. “Not that you ever really talked but he doesn’t even look at you or greet you. He treats you like he treats Louis and Al, minus all the dumb masculinity stare contests.”
“I don’t know,” I said back, my gaze wondering to the back of Malfoy’s head, where he sat one row and three people to left of me. “We never talked much. It’s not a big deal.”
“It just seems weird,” Chloe said. “I don’t know, you guys were always friendly, and there always was this weird, flirtatious vibe whenever you guys would talk, even if you were just asking him about the Defense homework. It just seems like he’s avoiding you for some reason.”
I bit my lip, focusing on reading the section Flitwick just told us to read. Chloe too, started reading and dropped the topic of Malfoy’s sudden avoidance of me almost all together.
When class was over we stood up, and Chloe immediately started groaning.
“Ugh,” she said, putting a hand on her stomach. “My period is killing me this month.”
I frowned. “You are already on your period?”
“Yeah,” Chloe said, giving me a strange look. “Shouldn’t you have had yours last week? My potion makes me a week later than you right?
“I thought so,” I said, suddenly doing mental math, as we walked out of the room.
“I’m on day four of mine,” Chloe said. “So yours definitely should have started by now.”
“Yeah,” I said, my breath catching in my throat.
The Halloween Party was three and a half weeks ago. I was supposed to have my period seven days ago. I started thinking about how nauseous I had been lately, how I attributed that to stress and guilt and anxiety.
My mind filled with words about conception and ovulation and I was trying to remember more details about that night and if we were safe.
I saw Malfoy standing a little away from me and almost in a daze I immediately darted towards him, ignoring Chloe’s confused calls after me.
I walked right up to him, where he was talking with Zabini. Zabini must have heard Chloe’s calls after me, because he looked over at her with a confused expression. Malfoy however looked directly at me, probably confused as to why, after nearly four weeks of avoiding him, I was suddenly standing in front of him, my face white with anxiety.
“Did we use protection?” I blurted out.
Chloe had caught up to me, heard me ask Malfoy this, and I felt her and Zabini’s confused stares looking at me, and the looks of understanding when they connected the dots as to what exactly I was asking Malfoy.
Malfoy looked just as confused and alarmed. “What?”
“Did we use protection?” I asked, desperately hoping for him to say we did.
“Holy shit,” Chloe said to herself.
“Holy shit is right,” Alex said quietly in agreement.
“Malfoy?” I asked, feeling more and more nauseous by the minute.
“I don’t remember,” Malfoy said, still seemingly confused. “Why does it-“
And before he could finish his sentence, I puked all over his shoes.
Thank you so much for reading!
Chapter 3: Chapter 3
The more attention I kept off of myself, the more I could blend in and pretend, even for a little while, that I had a normal life.
“Oh gross,” Zabini said, as I puked my guts up onto Scorpius.
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” I said, using my sleeve to wipe my mouth. “I’m so, so, sorry.”
“It’s um, fine,” Malfoy said. “A little more concerned with what you were asking than the vomit, quite honestly.”
“Oh right,” I said. I pulled my wand out to clean the puke off of his shoes.
I tried to think of what to say, but how did you say that you suddenly realized that you hadn’t gotten your period with someone you had been ignoring since you slept with them?
Scorpius took in my silence before nodding. “We should probably get you to the hospital wing huh?”
I looked up at him, feeling grateful, before remembering why I had been ignoring him for four weeks. So instead of making my thanks known to him, I simply nodded.
Malfoy clapped Zabini on the shoulder. “I’ll see you later.”
“Rose do you want me to come with you?” Chloe asked, and I saw her looking at Scorpius as though she didn’t trust him.
“Um, no?” I said, not really sure what I wanted. I didn’t even want this to be happening, but I wasn’t exactly sure that I wanted a whole audience there as well.
Chloe raised her eyebrows at me, clearly wanting a more secure answer than that.
“I’ll be okay,” I said, trying to find more even tone of voice. “I’ll catch up with you later? Go meet up with Al; if we both don’t show up he’ll worry and I don’t really want that. Just, don’t tell him about this okay?”
Chloe nodded, but I could tell she still wasn’t thrilled about leaving me alone with Malfoy, making it clear that Al’s grudge against Malfoy had expanded to her too.
“Merlin, he already potentially knocked her up what else could he do to her?” Zabini said.
“I feel that is enough for me not to want him around her,” Chloe said. With one last dirty look at Malfoy and Zabini, and one last smile at me, Chloe walked away.
“Could you maybe not be a dick for once?” Malfoy asked, with an annoyed look at Zabini.
“Not a dick, just didn’t like how she was treating leaving Weasley with you like you were the antichrist,” Zabini said. “Well, I’m off to find Emily. Good luck you too. Here’s to hoping that this doesn’t get any worse than puking on his shoes. Hope the lack of protection was worth it.”
Malfoy flipped him off as he walked away, before turning to me.
“So, off we go, I guess,” Malfoy said.
“You’re coming?” I asked, slightly in shock.
“Yeah,” Malfoy said, starting in the direction of the hospital wing. “Just because you haven’t spoken to me in four weeks does not mean that I’m going to wait to find out if I’m a father until you decide to talk to me again.”
I was taken aback by how harsh his voice sounded, it was such a contrast to how he was talking before, but I also was able to understand his anger. He had been so nice to me, had tried to talk to me the day after, and I completely shut him out and probably never would have talked to him again if it hadn’t been for me realizing that I could potentially be pregnant.
I also knew that even if I wanted to talk to him more about it, that this was not the place, we had already risked being overheard by talking about it enough. I looked behind me, trying to make sure no one was near by and hoping that no one heard our conversations and leaked it to the press.
Being pregnant or potentially pregnant was one issue, I didn’t need the image of boring perfection to get ruined as well by some petty gossip. It was my role, my way of dealing with the fame that was forced upon me because of my parents. I was always polite to the press, got perfect grades, became Prefect and then Head Girl, always keeping my cool in front of the press, only to lose it in private.
But the perfect image had eventually begun to seep into my normal life too. As I got older and began to see the stress in my parents’ lives, between the jobs, family, raising me and Hugo, I realized that when I argued with them or did anything out of what was expected, I was causing more stress. So the need for perfection began to start to become a daily part of my life, always keeping cool even when my natural temper said otherwise, keeping my head down instead of standing up for myself, not going to parties or dating or even flirting with boys; the more attention I kept off of myself, the more I could blend in and pretend, even for a little while, that I had a normal life.
All of us kids had ways of dealing with the Potter-Weasley fame and while it certainly affected everyone, it affected us children of the Golden Trio the most, since there was more of an interest in what we were doing and if we were going to be like our parents. My way of dealing with it was being so perfect, I was boring and thus had no attention. James, however, did the opposite. James was Al’s older brother and had an image that he was more than okay with: Bad Boy with the Heart of Gold.
Since James was the oldest, he was naturally the one people were most interested in when he started Hogwarts, which James completely reveled in. He was charming, witty and good looking, meaning that any of the drunk escapades he got into or any of the fights he got into when the press got to close to him were quickly forgotten with a smile from him and an apology. Once he got drafted to Puddlemere United right out of Hogwarts helped him, since people just attributed any bad behavior of his to his athlete lifestyle, and not the truth that James knows he can do whatever he wants and therefore doesn’t set any boundries for himself.
Albus, on the other hand, didn’t seem to care about the press as much. He tended to try to just live his life as if the whole world isn’t watching his every move, which has made him boring to the press. He was really only ever in the paper if he was featured with Chloe. When Albus and Chloe started dating two years ago, they quickly became a favorite couple for the Prophet to post about, since they were the first relationship that any of us had.
Hugo and Lily were, fortunately, not prone to nearly as much attention from the press, especially since James’s bad boy habits elevated and Al and Chloe were dating. It was as if because they were the last two, people were less interested in them, especially when James, Al and I were given them so much to focus on.
Yes, despite my perfect, never stepping a toe out of line image, the press was still interested in me. It felt as though they were waiting for the façade to fall, for me to prove that I was not as perfect as I pretended to be.
And of course, the one time I hadn’t thought things through completely is what might lead me to shatter the perfect image I had created to everyone around me.
But even as I looked at Scorpius walking slightly ahead of me, his body language tense and still angry with me, I couldn’t make myself regret that night. I had been trying the past month to stop thinking about the way he kissed me and the pull I felt to him, knowing that it was probably a ruse to get in my pants didn’t stop me from wanting to spend more time with him. Knowing my perfect reputation might have one hell of a black mark on it made it difficult to even think of that night in a negative way because Malfoy had been so kind and gentle and I felt safe, which is why I slept with him.
I only wish that we had actually been safe protection wise as well.
“Mr. Malfoy, hello,” Madam Pomfrey said as we entered the Hospital wing. “Oh, Miss Weasley, nice to see you too. Must say, I am surprised to see the two of you together.”
Madam Pomfrey laughed, yet stopped when Scorpius and I didn’t join in. She cleared her throat before speaking again.
“Anyway, what can I do for you both?” she asked.
Scorpius looked at me, clearly expecting me to answer the question that awkwardly hung in the air.
“I…” I said, but I found I couldn’t get the words out as the realization hit me.
I could be pregnant. I needed a pregnancy test. I could have a person growing inside of me and I didn’t know what to do.
I started breathing heavily, trying to keep my anxieties down.
“Ms. Weasley are you alright?” Madam Pomfrey asked, noticing my change in breath.
“Um,” I said, trying to get the words out between breaths. “Um, I, uh, I need, um.”
I felt a hand tentatively touch the small of my back and saw see Scorpius’s arm reaching out to me, his hand barely touching my skin. I looked up at his face and noticed he wasn’t looking at me, instead looking at Madam Pomfrey. His face seemed completely calm and neutral and I was unsure how he could remain so during one of the potentially biggest turning points in both of our lives.
“We, um, we need a test,” Scorpius said quietly. “A pregnancy test.”
I looked around, feeling grateful that no one was in the Hospital Wing at that time. The words were echoing in my head and I felt so stupid for letting this happen. I felt myself move slightly closer to Scorpius, as if hoping to become calm like him simply through osmosis.
“Oh,” Madam Pomfrey said, her eyes wide and her shock hidden horribly. “Yes, of course. Follow me.”
Scorpius pulled his hand away from my back, following Madam Pomfrey, causing me to miss his touch and the weird, calming energy he seemed to have on me. Despite myself, I made a move to grab his hand, hoping to still feeling the calm, but as soon as our hands touched he pulled his hand out of my grasp and kept walking.
I then understood that he was still upset with me for not speaking to him for so long and that he only provided me comfort because I was so visibly upset.
“Mr. Malfoy, I’m assuming that you would be the father?” Madam Pomfrey asked as she showed us to the back bed of the hospital.
Scorpius held a hand out to help me onto the hospital bed, before sitting in the chair next to it. “Yes.”
“Alright then.” Madam Pomfrey waved her wand, causing the curtains to close around us, giving us some sort of privacy. She turned to me. “Ms. Weasley, is it okay if Mr. Malfoy is here for your test? You have every right to say no if you would rather he wait somewhere else. Your stomach will be exposed.”
Scorpius moved to stand up, clearly expecting me to ask him to leave.
“No, he can stay,” I said. “I want him to.” Scorpius looked at me, in shock over what I had just said. I turned my attention back to Madam Pomfrey as Scorpius slowly sat down. “What do you need me to do?
“Just lay down dear and pull your shirt up so that it doesn’t cover your belly,” Madam Pomfrey said.
I took my robe off and Scorpius held his hand out, offering to hold it for me. I gave him a small smile before laying down and pulling my sweater up to below my bra.
“Alright, Ms. Weasley,” Madam Pomfrey said. She pulled a small jar out. “I will be rubbing this on your stomach, over the uterus. It will turn to a jelly when it is done and I will take it back to my office, in order to pull the results from it.”
“Okay,” I said, my voice getting caught in my throat. I took some deep breaths, trying to keep the anxieties at bay.
The cream was cold when Madam Pomfrey applied it to my stomach and immediately my skin started tingling. Quickly, it turned to jelly and Madam Pomfrey waved her wand, and the jelly flew into an empty jar next to her.
“Alright then, I will be back in around 10 minutes,” she said.
“Could you close the curtains?” I asked. “I want to talk to Scorpius in private.
“Of course,” Madam Pomfrey said, screwing the cap on the jar.
“Thank you,” I said.
“Yes, thank you,” Scorpius said. When the curtains were all the way shut behind us, he looked at me. “What do you want to talk about Weasley?”
I frowned at his tone—it wasn’t angry or upset, if anything, it was almost casual, as if we had just ran into each other at Hogsmeade or I was asking him about an assignment.
“Don’t you want to know why I haven’t been talking to you?” I asked.
Scorpius shrugged. “I don’t know, you regretted what happened, you felt ashamed, you realized you hated me-“
“Those aren’t even close,” I said. “I didn’t regret it. I was happy when I woke up next to you. I didn’t want to leave that morning.”
“You did though,” Scorpius said. “Didn’t even say anything either.”
“I know,” I said. “I was so worried about getting out without anyone seeing me and if I woke you up I knew that I probably wouldn’t be able to.” I smiled at him. “Did you know that you said my name in your sleep?”
Scorpius’s eyes widened and his cheeks turned slightly pink. “What?”
“I moved away from you and immediately you said my name and moving your hand over where I had been sleeping, like you were looking for me,” I said.
“Merlin that’s embarrassing,” Scorpius said under his breath.
“I don’t think so,” I said softly. “To be fair I stole one of your jackets.”
Scorpius smirked at me. “Needed something to remember me by, huh Weasley?”
I rolled my eyes at him, feeling my face turn red.
“And then the next time I see you, you refuse to talk to me,” Scorpius said, bringing the light, almost flirtatious air to the conversation back to a serious tone. “And tell me we’re done. Then you go on to ignore me for four weeks until you run up to me, asking about whether we remembered to use protection and then throw up on my shoe.” Scorpius shook his head. “Yeah, I’m a little confused by your behavior, I guess. Because that was a shitty thing to do.”
“Like you were so hurt by it,” I said, more to myself than to him, recalling Louis’s words.
“I mean it didn’t feel great,” Scorpius defended. He stood up from his chair, walking around in the little space we had, clearly frustrated. “I’m not going to say that I thought we’d be off getting married, but I did think that maybe you would be able to talk to me or we could you know, go on a date or something? I kind of got the impression that maybe you thought I was an interesting bloke and I thought that maybe, just maybe, I was interesting enough for you to date.”
My heart spend up at his words and how he remembered my drunken rambles about why I didn’t date. But quickly, what Louis had said all came back. I shook my head, knowing that he was probably only doing this, saying this, so that he didn’t look like all he wanted was the
“You don’t have to do this Malfoy,” I said, hoping my voice sounded strong. “I know what your like with girls, you don’t need to pretend that night meant anything more—“
“What I’m like with girls?” Scorpius stopped pacing and looked at me, confused. “Merlin, what are you talking about?”
“You fake a connection with them!” I said, moving so that I was sitting on the edge of the bed. “You fake the connection with them so you can get into their pants and then you don’t talk to them again.”
“Oh Merlin, who told you that shit?” Scorpius said. “Listen, I’m not going to say I’ve been chaste or anything, but I didn’t just use girls for that. Vanessa Bauer was just not very pleased when I rejected her at the beginning of the year and decided to spread that around.”
I gulped listening to his words. Vanessa Bauer was Scorpius’s on and off again girlfriend and she had a habit of embellishing details in order to skew things her way. So the idea that she would say that Scorpius treats girls awfully definitely checked out.
“Weasley,” Scorpius said. He walked towards me so that he was only a foot or two away from where I sat on the bed. “I understand why you would believe that. I’m not exactly the best when it comes to dating. But I kind of wish you had talked about that with me before now, when we’re a high stress situation that could alter our lives completely.”
“So, if it didn’t mean nothing, what did that night mean to you?” I asked softly, unable to contain myself. I believed what he said, that while he wasn’t chaste, he also didn’t use girls just for sex, but I needed to know if what he was saying was actually true or just because we were in this situation. “Pretend that we’re not in the hospital wing, waiting to find out if I’m pregnant. Before any of the stuff that has happened the past four weeks happened, did that night mean anything to you?”
“Yeah,” Scorpius said. “It meant something. Rose…” I felt my stomach flip as he used my first name for the first time in this conversation. “Rose, it’s not like I’ve been secretly harboring a love for you or anything, but I always sort of liked you. I always thought that you were smart, intelligent and funny, in a weird sort of way that only you could be funny about school. I liked talking with you, which is why I would ask you so many questions about school. Do you really think I don’t pay attention in so many classes that I need to ask you what the homework is nearly everyday?”
“I never really thought about,” I confessed.
“Wow, you know how to make a man feel good,” he said, smirking. “I guess, I always kind of liked you and thought you were interesting and hell, forget what even happened that night, just talking to you was great. It was nice to know someone who understood what it was like to be in a parent’s shadow and when you kissed me, I don’t I guess that night really just made me think that something more was possible here than just classmates. Even though it would have pissed a lot of people off, it seemed like there was a connection between us that went beyond acquaintances.”
I took a deep breath, digesting his words. Slowly, I got up off the bed, taking the few steps I needed to to get closer to him.
“I thought so too,” I said softly. I slowly brought my eyes up to his. “But then I heard about how you treated girls and I just got worried and I freaked out. And I’m not really good at dealing with things when I am scared.”
“I understand,” Scorpius said. “Like I said, I wished we had talked about it earlier and not while in the Hospital Wing, waiting for some pretty life altering news, but it is what it is.”
“And you would have wanted to continue exploring whatever this is?” I asked. His gaze was intense on me and I couldn’t help but scan his face, my gaze stopping for just one second on his lips. “Even if we weren’t where we are right now?”
“Yeah,” Scorpius said. “I wanted to see what would have happened.”
I stood up on my toes, bringing my hands to his face. Slowly, and gently, I placed my lips on his, as if testing the waters. Scorpius kissed me back his hands finding a spot on my hips as he pulled me closer to him so that our bodies were flush against one another.
My hands moved down to his shoulders and inner locked behind his neck. Scorpius’s kisses were intoxicating and I found myself being completely removed from the current situation, and instead only focusing on how Scorpius’s mouth felt against mine.
“Excuse me,” Madam Pomfrey said quietly.
I immediately pulled away from Scorpius and I could feel my face heating up in embarrassment.
“So sorry,” I said quietly, trying to get my face to stop burning up.
“It’s quite alright,” Madam Pomfrey said. “What you two were doing was very mild compared to what some people have tried to do in the hospital wing.”
“Still, we’re very sorry,” Scorpius said quietly.
“Yes, well, it is what it is,” Madam Pomfrey said. “I have the results here.” Madam Pomfrey held up an envelope and I felt my whole body tense up at the reminder of why Scorpius and I were even here in the first place. “I can open it for you or I can leave and let you two open it in private.”
“Private,” I said quickly. I don’t think I could have handled hearing the possible words come out of her mouth if that test said the thing I was dreading.
“Alright then,” Madam Pomfrey said. “Please come find me before you leave.”
“Thank you Madam Pomfrey,” Scorpius said as she exited.
I slowly sat down on the bed, staring at the blank envelope. Scorpius sat down next to me.
“Do you want to open it?” I asked.
“I can if you want me to,” Scorpius said softly.
My heart was beating so intensely I felt it in my ears. I knew that the envelope would answer so many questions, however it could also bring a whole new series of complications into my life too.
So slowly, I began to open the envelope, pulling out the piece of parchment that was tucked inside. I held the parchment between me and Scorpius so that both of us could read it.
Results: Pregnant, 4 weeks
Projected due date: August 5th
Mother: Rose Weasley
Father: Scorpius Malfoy
Tears immediately sprang to my eyes and I took a deep breath in as I digested the words.
Next to me, Scorpius softly muttered “Fuck”, before slowly wrapping an arm around me.
I leaned into him, my face finding his chest, and feeling all emotions fade away from me as the words on the page repeated themselves in my head.
Pregnant. Four Weeks. Due Date August 5th.
I felt Scorpius rest his head on mine.
“What are we going to do?” I asked softly.
“I don’t know,” Scorpius said. “I don’t know.”
Thank you so much for reading!
For those who have read on other sites know, this story sometimes has alternating viewpoints, so you may see Scorpius soon! This is Rose's story first, bu there are certain scenes/situations/plot points that I have already told through his POV that I'm not sure how to rewrite. So there's a challenge for me and change in pace for you! Those will probably start to trickle their way in soon!
Chapter 4: Chapter 4
“This is quite the interesting development. I always thought that you two didn’t socialize very much.”
“We didn’t,” I said.
“And then we did,” Scorpius said. “And then we didn’t. And then she puked on my shoes. And now we’re here.
Warning: Discussion about ending pregnancy/abortion in the following chapter.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
“Ms. Weasley, Mr. Malfoy,” Professor McGonagall said when she opened the door into her office. “This is quite the surprise to see you both here, especially together. This is not a behavior visit I hope? You weren’t sent to see me?”
“Um, no Professor,” I said, walking over to the chair in front of her desk and sitting down. “It was recommended though.”
“Recommended?” McGonagall asked, motioning Scorpius to sit down in the chair next to me before she went to her seat behind her desk. She conjured a tea pot, pouring herself a cup. “Recommended by whom?”
I placed my book bag on my lap, trying to desperately to hide my stomach, as if I could somehow pretend that I had control on the situation. It had been roughly two hours since Scorpius and I had found out that I was pregnant. Madam Pomfrey had brought us into her office and explained the possible course of action we could take at this point in the pregnancy, before suggesting that we talk to McGonagall. She said by discussing it with McGonagall, she could set us up with professionals who could help guide our decision and that way it would be easier to make arrangements if we decided not to keep the baby. I held Scorpius’s hand through the whole meeting, needing something to ground me, because I was so full of anxiety about our decision that I was worried I would run away, cry, not learn about my options and have a baby because I didn’t learn what my options were.
“Madam Pomfrey,” Scorpius said quietly. I took a deep breath, the parchment in my bag that had the test results and the options for how to move forward feeling heavy in my bag.
McGonagall scowled, clearly confused. “Madam Pomfrey? Why on earth would she recommend you come to see me? Normally she only recommends students come see me in extreme health cases and never is it two students. Are both of you extremely ill?”
“I’m not ma’am,” Scorpius said. “I wouldn’t exactly use ill to describe Rose either.”
“Alright then,” McGonagall said. She put her tea down, clasping her hands together before leaning forward on the desk. “Then why are you both here under the recommendation of Madam Pomfrey?”
Scorpius looked at me, clearly unsure if it would be okay for him to tell her or if I wanted to tell her myself. I avoided eye contract with him, instead pulling at the zipper of my bag, ensuring that it was shut all the way.
“Rose?” Scorpius said quietly. “Is it okay if I tell her or do you want to?”
Damn him and his politeness and ensuring that it’s okay if he tells her. Damn him and his sweetness.
“Ms. Weasley?” McGonagall said, expectedly.
“I, um,” I said quietly. I gulped, looking McGonagall in the eye, trying to keep myself from throwing up as I said the words out loud for the first time.
I pushed all my feelings away, taking a deep breath, and refusing to allow myself to feel anything. If I allowed myself to feel something, to have any sort of reaction as to what I was going to say, anxiety, fear, nausea, and tears would set in and I would not be able to function. So I did what I always did when I was surrounded when I didn’t want to be. I pushed all of my emotions away and composed myself, feeling suddenly grateful for the years of not allowing myself to feel anything in front of the press.
“I- I’m pregnant,” I said, my voice flat and devoid of emotion.
McGonagall’s eyes widened, clearly not expecting that. She turned towards Scorpius.
“I am assuming that you are the father if you are here?” she said, bluntly.
“Yes,” Scorpius said, meeting her straight forward tone head on.
“Well then,” McGonagall said. “This is quite the interesting development. I always thought that you two didn’t socialize very much.”
“We didn’t,” I said.
“And then we did,” Scorpius said. “And then we didn’t. And then she puked on my shoes. And now we’re here.”
“Fascinating story, Mr. Malfoy,” McGonagall said, though she clearly thought that it was anything but. “Well, since you have already discussed it with Madam Pomfrey, I assume you know how far along you are?”
“Four weeks,” I said. “Projected due date August 5th.”
McGonagall nodded. “Well then. How can I help you both with this process? I assume that Pomfrey spoke to you about your options regarding your pregnancy, Ms. Weasley?”
“Yes she did,” I said.
“Do you have any inkling of which way you will decide?”
“No,” I said. “I am not sure what to do. Scorpius, do you have any opinions?”
Scorpius’s eyes widened, clearly in shock that I asked him this.
“Well, I have my own thoughts,” Scorpius said. “But I think that you need to do what is best for you Rose. You’re the one who is pregnant and will have to do most of the heavy lifting, so to me, your opinion and choice on that is more important than mine.”
I couldn’t help but smile at him but also feel curious as to what his feelings actually were regarding keeping the pregnancy or getting rid of it.
“Mr. Malfoy, that is very selfless of you to say,” McGonagall said. “Do keep in mind Ms. Weasley, that even if you decide to keep the pregnancy does not mean that you have to keep the child. There are many people in the Wizarding World who have trouble conceiving. Adoption is always an option as well.”
Scorpius frowned at this and clearly not a fan of the possible adoption.
“Thank you, Professor,” I said.
“Now, we will have to discuss your role as Head Girl,” McGonagall said, taking a sip of her tea.
My heart dropped at her words, the thought of losing my Head Girl position never occurring to me. I had worked so hard for the title of Head Girl, took so much pride in being Head Girl, knew that being Head Girl would help me get into healing schools, that knowing that being pregnant could affect that, could affect everything I had worked so hard for, made me want to make a decision right now that I had not fully thought through.
Scorpius, seeming to notice my change in demeanor, reached over, gently touching my hand, before grabbing it with his own. I squeezed it tightly, trying to bring myself to listen to what McGonagall had to say before running back to the hospital wing and Madam Pomfrey making everything like Halloween had never happened.
“A Head Girl is supposed to be an exemplary student, with a close to perfect record, someone who the student body of Hogwarts can look up to,” McGonagall said. “Your mother was an excellent Head Girl and this position helped her become the Minister of Magic. People in this position have the potential to do great things and are role models for all the students they lead.”
I nodded, feeling my heart breaking as I absorbed her words. I took a deep breath, forcing myself to push all my emotions inward. “I understand Professor.”
McGonagall looked at her, a stern expression on her face. “For many, an incident like this would be enough cause to lose that title, for the sheer irresponsibility that it shows. Many students wouldn’t even be able to continue their education at Hogwarts, especially with the course load that you are taking Ms. Weasley.”
I broke eye contact with her, squeezing Scorpius’s hand as I tried to keep myself composed.
“However, something that I have learned from educating you as well as both of your parents is that you are not like most people, Ms. Weasley,” McGonagall said, her tone shifting from discipline to almost praise. “You are a very bright and capable student Ms. Weasley, just like both your parents were before you. You have a spotless record, making this your first incident of concern, but it is not as though other people in this castle are not partaking in the activity that got you here as well. If you believe that you can handle it and you feel comfortable with all of your current responsibilities on top of this new challenge, I see no reason why you cannot continue to remain as Head Girl.”
Hearing her words, I immediately broke into a smile, feeling so incredibly undeserving of her faith in me.
“Now, if you begin to not be able to uphold your duties or the duties get to be too much for you, you can still step down. But I see no reason why I should ask you to step down yet,” McGonagall said, sending me a small smile. “You are unlike any other student before you, your mother included. I believe that you can do this. Do you?”
“Yes,” I said, feeling the weight of the fear of losing my spot taken off of my shoulders. “Yes, I believe I can do it.”
“Alright then,” McGonagall said. “Are the two of you planning to tell your parents?”
Scorpius and I both tensed up then, since the past two hours, we had been so concerned how this would affect us individually, that we hadn’t even thought about telling our families and how awful those interactions would probably go.
“We hadn’t thought about it,” Scorpius said. He looked at me questioningly. “But we probably should?”
I bit my lip, unsure. I knew that telling my parents, my dad especially, was going to be a disaster. But I also knew that I needed to tell them before they heard it elsewhere, such as if it somehow leaked.
“We should tell them,” I said. “They may be able to help with a decision about what to do.”
“Alright then. Would you like to tell them together or separately?”
“Well it’s going to be a shitshow no matter what, so why not together?” Scorpius said. McGonagall eyed him for swearing and he quickly corrected himself. “It’s going to be a disaster. Sorry Professor.”
“Well I can’t say I disagree with you Mr. Malfoy,” McGonagall said. “No matter. I will write owls to both of your families and have them meet this weekend? I will let them argue over at whose house and what time. Ms. Weasley would you like your brother there?”
“Yes please,” I said. “Hugo should know when my parents do.”
“Wonderful,” McGonagall said. “I will start that and make the proper arrangements. I will inform you both of the time that you are expected here this weekend to Floo to your parents. Do you have any other questions?”
“No,” we both said.
“Ms. Weasley, if you need anything from me or Madam Pomfrey, please ask us. We hope to help you in any way that we can.”
“Thank you Professor,” I said quietly.
"Well, goodnight to you both,” McGonagall said, standing up. Scorpius and I both took this as our cue to stand and head towards the door as well. “I will see you both this weekend when I send you both off to what I’m sure will be a very heated meeting with your parents.”
I gave her a half smile, feeling my shoulders tense up when thinking about how awfully that meeting would actually be. Scorpius, who had dropped my hand when we stood up, placed his palm in mine, interlocking our fingers.
“Goodnight Professor,” he said, before pulling me down the stairs gently.
McGonagall shut her door and I felt one weight lifted off my shoulders and another one added on. Scorpius slowly walked towards the statue to let us out, but I knew that as soon as we left this little private staircase, we wouldn’t be able to talk.
“Scorpius?” I said softly, pulling back on his hand slightly.
He turned around, giving me a questioning look. On the stairs, we were almost eyelevel. He smiled softly at me, clearly confused as to why I stopped him.
I reached forward, wrapping my hands around his neck and pushing myself as close to him as possible in a tight hug. He wrapped his arms around my waist and brought his face to my neck, breathing me in.
“Thank you for everything you’ve done the past few hours,” I whispered quietly. “I hate this situation that we are in but you’re helping a lot.”
“I’m glad,” Scorpius said. “Thank you for letting me be a part of it.”
He pulled back slightly, so that we were face to face. “What are you thinking regarding the pregnancy? We don’t need to tell our parents if you are going to get rid of it. May add a little too much extra drama and stress into our lives.”
“I don’t know,” I said. “But I think telling our parents might actually help me at least attempt to figure it out.”
Scorpius nodded, his brow furrowed.
“What would you want me to do?” I asked gently.
“It’s not really my place,” Scorpius said.
"Yeah, but I want to know,” I said. “The more information I have the more helpful it would be.”
Scorpius sighed. “Well, if you want me to be honest, I don’t want you to get rid of it. I would want to have the baby and raise it, with or without you. That’s my kid; I don’t really want it to be taken away.”
I took a deep breath and nodded, taking in his words.
“But, ultimately, you have to decide if you want to carry the baby. You’re the one that has to deal with the hard part, so my opinion means a lot less than yours does,” Scorpius said.
I smiled at him, feeling very grateful to be in this awful situation with him. Many people either would have chosen to not be honest if I asked or insist that I have the baby regardless, not even taking into account the physical, emotional, and mental toll it would take on me. My gaze wandered down to his lips, and I felt the overwhelming draw to them again.
I leaned forward, giving him a firm kiss, hoping that my gratitude of him would get across in that few second kiss before we pulled away.
“I should probably get back to the common room,” I said. “Chloe is probably worried.”
“Yeah I’m sure Alex has filled Emily in, so I have that to look forward to when I get to them,” Scorpius said.
“I don’t know about you, but I would rather tell as few people as possible until we know what we’re doing,” I said. “And to allow ourselves some time to actual process this with more than just two hours of knowing.”
“Okay,” Scorpius said. “Do you want me to walk you back to your Common Room?”
“No, I’ll be okay,” I said. I pulled myself closer to him one more time, resting my head on his shoulder letting out a very tired breath. “I’m pregnant.”
Scorpius ran a hand up and down my back soothingly. “Yeah.”
I pulled away, looking him in the eye. “See you Saturday?”
“Of course,” Scorpius replied. “I’ll see you then.”
Scorpius leaned forward, quickly kissing my head before I walked out the door of the office, and the farther away from him I got, the more I felt the anxiety rise in my chest.
I walked slowly to the Common Room, trying to count to one hundred in my head, a trick my mum had taught me to ground myself when everything felt as though it was up in the air. I was so focused on counting, that I completely ran into someone, causing myself to fall over and my book bag to fall off my shoulder and spill out across the ground.
I immediately looked for the parchment that had all the pregnancy options was not out in the open. I gave a small sigh of relieve when I saw them still in my bag, nearly out but not quite and pushed them all the way down.
“Rose are you okay?”
I looked up and saw Sam, clearly the body that I had run into when I was attempting to count.
“Yeah, sorry Sam,” I said, bending down to begin picking up my stuff. “I got very caught up in thinking and didn’t realize that I ran into you.”
Sam kneeled down across from me, picking up some of my stuff and handing it to me. “It’s okay. Anything you need to talk about?”
“No,” I said quickly. “It’s nothing. I just feel stupid for not watching where I’m going and running into you.”
“Not a big deal. Besides, if we hadn’t already met, this could qualify as a meet-cute,” Sam said, shooting me a smile.
I gave him a half smile back, feeling very uncomfortable and worried about where this conversation was going to go. Since Halloween, Sam had been nothing but nice and normal to me; we hadn’t talked about how strong he came on during the party, we went straight back into head duties, working well together as partners.
Sam handed me my last book before he stood up.
“Thanks Sam,” I said.
“You’re welcome,” Sam said, offering a hand out to help me up. I bit my lip, unsure of whether I should accept it or not, but knew that not accepting it would be more awkward than if I did. I grabbed his hand and he pulled me up, closer to him than I would have liked, before dropping my hand and allowing me to step away from him.
“Are you heading to the common room?” I ask.
“Yeah, heading there now,” Sam said. He suddenly seemed more hopeful than he had moments before. “No reason to not walk together?”
I smiled at him, nodding, but couldn’t ignore the knots in my stomach.
“How is this year treating you so far?” Sam asked. “Between your N.E.W.T.S., Head Girl duties, and healing applications?”
“It’s good,” I said. “It’s a lot and I barely have free time, but it’s going well.”
“No free time kind of sucks though,” Sam said.
I shrugged. “I don’t know what I would do with more free time, probably just study more, thus taking away free time.”
Sam laughed. “You’re very strange Rose.”
“Thank you?” I said, unsure how to take that. “How is this year for you?”
“Fine,” Sam said. “Not terribly more demanding than previous years.”
“Maybe you’re not challenging yourself enough,” I said.
“Maybe I just like to keep my time open in case someone decides to spend it with me,” Sam said, sending me a half smile.
My eyes widened at his words and I immediately broke eye contact with him, choosing instead to look at the ground a few feet ahead of me as I walked.
“Is there a reason why you always reject me, Rose?” Sam said.
“I’m not asking you out again, I’m just wondering why you always reject me, instead of just giving me a chance.”
“We are Heads together,” I said, giving the speech that I had given him twice this year already, and a modified version of the one I had given him years prior when we were Prefects together. “We work very closely together and McGonagall relies on us—“
“But what if we didn’t work together?” Sam said. “What if one of us wasn’t a Head anymore.”
“Sam, why do we need to talk about this-“
“Because I want to know if it’s just because we work together or if you actually don’t want anything to do with me,” Sam said, his voice, which had been attempting to be even getting slightly louder at the end. He took a deep breath, almost as if he was cooling himself off, before the fake sweet voice came on. “Just tell me Rose. Is the only reason you won’t date me because we work together? Because I think we would be really great as more than just Heads.”
“I…” I said, knowing the answer that I wanted to say. I understood why he thought we would be good together. We were both smart, worked hard, and had similar families. But despite the times I tried to find something about Sam I liked beyond friendship, I never was able to.
“Sam, I don’t want to hurt you,” I said, trying to put it as delicately as I could. I suddenly felt thankful that I was pregnant and Scorpius was in my life, because I was somewhat worried that if Sam had confronted me before today, I might have dated him simply to avoid awkwardness. “But I just don’t have feelings for you. And I don’t think I ever will. I’m just, not interested in dating you. I’m sorry.”
Sam nodded his jaw tight and I could tell that he wasn’t happy with what I said.
“Well fine,” Sam said. His voice was low and I could tell how angry he was. “It’s not like you’re so fucking great anyway, Weasley.”
Sam stormed off in front of me, making his way to the Common Room in a huff.
Even though I knew that I had only been honest and knew that even if I wanted to date Sam I couldn’t in my current situation, I felt incredibly guilty at causing him to have a reaction like that. He had always been very kind and understanding when I said no in the past, even though I could always tell that he was frustrated. He never took it out on me though and I was slightly shaken up by his words.
I walked into the common room quietly, feeling slightly relieved when I saw Al and Louis sitting by the fire, a game of Wizarding Chess in between them.
“Who’s winning?” I asked, sitting down next to Louis on the couch.
“Me,” they both said at the same time, before looking up at each other with an annoyed look.
“You think you’re winning?” Al said. “Are you mad?”
“Of course I’m winning,” Louis said. “I can get to your Queen in three moves.”
“Bull!” said Al. “There’s no way that you could.”
“Want to bet?”
“How about instead of arguing we actually hang out?” I suggested. “I haven’t seen you guys that much this year.”
“That’s because you’ve been too busy being Head Girl and applying to Healing Schools,” Al said, smirking. “Being Perfect Rose is very time consuming you know.”
“I am not perfect,” I said, though I knew that was a lie and in complete position to everything I tried to be. “Just ask Sam.”
“Merlin, what did the wanker do now?” Louis said.
“Asked me out again,” I said quietly. “And when I explained to him that I wasn’t interested in dating him because I didn’t have feelings for him, he got upset and said that I wasn’t special anyway before storming off.” I bit my lip. “I’ve never seen him angry like that before.”
“Is he up in the dorms?” Louis asked his voice low as he eyed the staircase to the boy’s dormitory.
“Lou, no,” I said quickly.
“Rose, the bloke is a wanker,” Louis said. “He needs to learn to take no for an answer and handle it like a fucking man.”
“It’s not okay that he gets mad at you for being honest,” Al said, glaring towards the boys dorms. “And then he wonders why you don’t want to go out with him. I think we should teach him a lesson, huh Lou?”
“Three steps ahead of you,” Louis mumbled.
“No, both of you, don’t,” I said, sternly. They looked at me, annoyed that I wasn’t letting them go. “It’s not important enough to get upset about. He will get over it and move on.”
“And if he doesn’t?” Louis asked.
“He will,” I said. “Sam is a rational, smart guy. If he truly thinks there is nothing special about me, then he’ll get over me.”
“He doesn’t need to be a dick though,” Louis said.
“I agree,” I said. “But you don’t need to be dicks either by immediately beating him up.”
“Rose it’s our duty,” Al said. “Not that you can’t take care of yourself, but when you are not being respected, we do get to hurt people not respecting you.”
“Or guys who are just arseholes in general to you,” Louis said. “Rose, we promised to protect you when we were five. We take that very seriously.”
“You don’t need to anymore,” I said, feeling slightly annoyed at their insistence. “I’m 17. I don’t need to be protected.”
“Yeah but we want to,” Al said. “So, if we promise not to do anything to Sam, will you please just let us silently think that we can protect you?”
I sighed. “Fine. That seems like as fair of a compromise as I’m going to get.”
“Probably,” Louis said, only half listening to me as Al moved his pawn.
I smiled at them, both not paying attention to me and focusing on the game, feeling very grateful to come back to them after a long, exhausting day full of one too big of a surprise. Thinking about my pregnancy, I suddenly realized that while Chloe was there to hear I might be, she didn’t know what actually happened.
“Hey Al, where’s Chloe?” I asked.
Al shrugged. “I don’t know.”
I frowned, confused. Chloe and Al almost always knew where each other were. “You don’t know?”
“She might be studying? I don’t know, I haven’t seen her since dinner,” Al said. His attention was fully on the game, not concerned that he didn’t know where his girlfriend was.
Which was very out of character for Al. He was the bloke who knew where his girlfriend was, who liked to make sure she was safe. During the summer when Chloe was travelling with her family, Chloe wrote Al whenever they went to a new hotel so that he could know where she was in case something happened. It was very odd for him not to know where she was and seem not to care at all.
“Okay,” I said. “Well, I’m going to go to bed then.”
“Bye Rose,” Al said.
“Bye Rosie,” Louis said. “See you tomorrow.”
I walked up my dorm, wondering if I should wait for Chloe to get back or if I should just go to sleep instead. The question ended up being answered for me though, since I opened the door and Chloe was sitting on her bed, a copy of one of Audrey’s Witch Weekly Magazines in her lap.
“Finally,” she said, closing her magazine. “I’ve been waiting for you all day!”
“I was just asking Al where you were,” I said, putting my bag down near my bed. “He said he didn’t know. Which I thought was incredibly out of character for him.”
Chloe frowned and sighed, throwing the magazine over onto Audrey’s bed.
“Yeah well, Al is a mystery,” she said quietly. “But enough about Al. What happened today? Are you okay?”
I crawled onto her bed, leaning against the footboard. “Depends on your definition of okay.”
Chloe didn’t say anything, instead giving me a concerned look, clearly not wanting to ask out loud what she wanted to know.
I sighed, looking down at her bed spread, unable to make eye contact with her.
“I’m pregnant,” I whispered. “I’m okay and healthy, but…yeah.”
I look up at Chloe, whose eyes were wide with concern at my news.
“What are you going to do?” she asked quietly.
I shrugged. “We have our options. I have them in my bag.”
I summoned my bag over, pulling out the parchment with all the options on it. I handed it to Chloe so she could look at it, before burying into my bag deeper, putting the contents in front of me.
“Is there more?” Chloe asked, clearly confused as to why I was emptying my bag onto her bed.
But I was too busy tearing my bag apart, that I didn’t hear her, instead I just heard sirens going off in my head at what I realized was missing.
The piece of paper that said I was pregnant, Scorpius was the father, and when I was due was gone.
Hi! Long time no see! I am sorry for how long this is taking to come out, I am ending up having to rewrite majority of these first few chapters because of how much I dislike the original ones. This chapter was hard too because I wanted a lot more to put in, however length wise and tonely, I thought the chapter should end here. Hopefully the next chapter (which involves telling the families and a Scorpius POV!) will be much easier to revise/rewrite and I can get it out quicker!
In the meantime, if you are craving more of my stories, please check out my other fics! Hopefully you like them just as much as you like this one :)
Thank you so much for taking time to review/kudos/bookmark/subscribe. It's so wonderful to see this story being well received! See you next time!
Chapter 5: Chapter 5
The room froze. Although no one had been moving, tiny things, like Dad’s bouncing leg, Hugo’s drumming fingers, and Mrs. Malfoy’s constant nervous adjustment of her clothes, all came to a tense halt at my words.
On Saturday, Scorpius and I found ourselves sitting on the loveseat of my parents’ house, waiting for Hugo to arrive. Despite the fact that Mum and Mrs. Malfoy were quietly discussing Mum’s job as Minister, the room was tense. Dad and Mr. Malfoy clearly weren’t happy to be in the same place, their childhood feud never fully ending, and there was the obvious tense, confused energy as to why we were all together.
Green flames appeared in the fire place and Hugo appeared, his confused expression resembling Dad.
“Hi Mum, hi Dad,” Hugo said. He looked around the room, saw Scorpius parents and Scorpius and I sitting next to each other. “What’s going on?”
“We’re not sure,” Mum said. “We were waiting for you so that Rose could tell us what is happening.”
“Probably nothing good,” Dad said under his breath. Mum elbowed him, giving him a stern look. He turned toward where Scorpius and I sat. “Rosie?”
I gulped, knowing what was supposed to come next. What I was supposed to say. Scorpius was looking at me, and I knew that I could have him say it, but I also knew that my dad was going to react better hearing it from me.
I squeezed my hand, feeling my nails hit my palm, wanting nothing more than to hold Scorpius’s hand, but also knowing that was one of the quickest ways to set my father and Hugo off.
“Well,” I started, hoping that my voice wasn’t shaking with anxiety. “Mum, Dad, Hugo…Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy…I’m…I’m pregnant.”
The room froze. Although no one had been moving, tiny things, like Dad’s bouncing leg, Hugo’s drumming fingers, and Mrs. Malfoy’s constant nervous adjustment of her clothes, all came to a tense halt at my words.
“I’m the father,” Scorpius said quietly from next to me. “Which is why I’m here.”
They were so quiet, so still, that you would have thought they were stupefied. Hugo, however, was the first to overcome this shock.
“I’m sorry, what?” Hugo said. All of the eyes snapped to him. “You’re what? Malfoy is what?”
“She’s pregnant with my baby,” Scorpius said. He was fighting it, but I could tell, he was trying so hard to not to get instantly annoyed with my brother, similar to how quickly he got annoyed by Al and especially Louis. I had not considered the bias that Scorpius held against my brother and my brother’s bias against Scorpius when inviting Hugo to be here.
“Oh you have got to be fucking kidding me,” Hugo exclaimed.
“Hugo! You know the rules on swearing,” Mum said, clearly keeping her swearing rules in place, despite the current situation.
“Mum, are you listening? She’s pregnant! With this arseholes baby! Merlin how can you just sit there and not say anything?”
“Hugo Weasley now is not the time for hysterics,” Mum said, keeping her perfectly composed and constantly practiced demeanor.
“I agree,” Mrs. Malfoy said. “I’m sure none of us are thrilled about this situation, but perhaps we should let the children talk?” Mrs. Malfoy turned to us and I felt Scorpius sit up straighter next to me under her gaze. “Now how did this happen?”
“Well, Mum, I think you know how babies are made,” Scorpius said, sending a smirk to his mum, who was not amused in the slightest. Scorpius wiped the smirk off of his face, dropping the sarcastic façade. “Halloween. After Potter and Weasley’s party.”
Mum frowned, glancing at Hugo, who just said, “Lou and Al.”
Based on the look on Hugo’s face, I knew that he was thinking how bad Louis and Al would take the news of my pregnancy happening because of their party.
“So, she would be what? A month along?” Mr. Malfoy said, looking at his wife for confirmation.
I nodded, though I don’t think it was necessary too.
“Well that leaves you both with some options still,” Mrs. Malfoy said.
“Yes it does,” Mum said. “Which is good. Do you both know the options available to you right now at this point in the pregnancy?”
“I think so,” Scorpius said. “Rose, you have all that information right?”
Scorpius turned to look at me, but I wasn’t looking at him. I was looking at my father who, in a very unconventional and unexpected response, was sitting quietly next to my mum, looking at his hands, his brow furrowed, clearly deep in thought.
I had expected yelling. I expected him to get upset, not think through his words and just say whatever he wanted; I expected emotion and Ron Weasley, who’s emotions were just like mine: strong, fierce and uncontrollable.
I never thought he would be silent.
“Dad?” I said quietly. “Dad, please say something.”
Dad looked up at me, sighing before rubbing a hand over his eyes.
“I don’t know what to say Rose,” Dad said. “I just…don’t know what to say.”
“What are you thinking?” I asked, despite the fact that I already felt as though I was shaking on the brink of a break down. I knew that it couldn’t be good, I saw Mum warn me with her eyes about the dangers of the question. But I needed something from him so that my world didn’t feel completely out of sync.
“Well, I’m thinking how disappointed I am that this happened,” Dad said. “I’m thinking how someone as smart as you let this happen, and I’m going over all the times that your mother and I talked to you about sex and trying to assure myself that I did everything I could to stop this from happening by informing you about protection.”
“You did,” Hugo said, earning a glare from Mum.
I sucked in my lips, listening to my dad’s questions, questions that had been going around in my head since I found out I was pregnant. Scorpius looked between me and my dad, and I could tell that he was getting upset with my dad’s words. I reached for his hand, intertwining it into my, half to calm him down and half to attempt to ground myself from going over the brink of emotion.
“I’m wondering why, if this had to happen, it had to happen with Malfoy’s kid,” Dad said. “I guess, I’m just wondering why Rosie. All I keep thinking about is how disappointed I am in you, a feeling I hate, and wondering why this happened.”
I took a deep breath in, squeezing Scorpius’s hand tightly, and letting a few tears fall down my face, trying to withhold full out sobs.
I was pregnant. My father was disappointed in me. Mum hadn’t said whether I disappointed her or not, but I could tell from the look on her face that she agreed with my father.
I was a disappointment.
“I need a minute,” I said, letting go of Scorpius’s hand.
“Rose-“ Scorpius started to say, but I cut him off.
“I need a minute to myself,” I said, running out of the room and up the stairs to my bedroom, where I shut the door and fell on the bed, the realities of my world crumbling upon me.
I watched Rose run up to her room and cringed when I heard the door slam, knowing that Rose was probably falling apart. A part of me wanted to run after her, make sure she was okay, to grab her and leave the house and go back to Hogwarts, where this whole situation didn’t seem nearly as bad.
But then I looked at Mr. Weasley, sitting there, his eyes closed and clearly angry at himself for how his words caused Rose to react, and I found I had a much stronger impulse to protect her from what had caused her pain.
Despite everything inside me telling me not too, I couldn’t help but look at Mr. Weasley with rage.
“How could you say that to her?” I said, the anger in my voice clear.
“Excuse me?” Mr. Weasley said.
“How could you say that you’re disappointed in her?” I said. “Merlin, you must know how that’s going to make her feel. You can’t be that dense.”
“Scorpius Hyperion!” Mum said. “I am so sorry, he didn’t mean-“
“Don’t apologize,” Mr. Weasley said. “He did mean it.”
“Wanker,” Hugo muttered under his breath while sending a glare my way. Mrs. Weasley gave him a warning look, clearly still threatening to send him to his room.
“So, Scorpius, let me ask you, do you think that I am happy with this situation?” Mr. Weasley said. He was, if my father’s stories were to be believed, unusually calm for this high stress situation. “Do you think this is what I wanted for Rose? That I wanted her to be 17, in her final year at Hogwarts, Head Girl, heading towards being a Healer, only to have all of that potential ruined by being pregnant?”
“She’s not going to ruin any chance of that-“ I started, only to get cut off.
“We don’t know that,” Mr. Weasley said, his voice raising. “Do you know that I once worked with someone who was training to be an Auror with goals to be Head Auror someday, citing Nymphadora Tonks and Mad-Eye Moody as some of her inspirations, get pregnant and abandon on that dream because it didn’t make sense to have such a dangerous her career? Her boyfriend at the time was able to continue his goals of working his way up in the ministry, but she had to abandon her dreams. Rose has wanted to be a Healer since she was a child. She would pretend to be my Healer when I had a cold so that she could ‘practice bedside manner’. I do not want her to abandon those dreams!”
“Ron, lower your voice,” Mrs. Weasley said softly to him.
“I will not lower my voice!” Mr. Weasley said. Mrs. Weasley shook her head, getting off of the sofa and heading up the stairs, probably to go check on Rose. “This boy believes that when my daughter asks me to tell her what I am thinking that I shouldn’t share that with her. He thinks that I don’t know what telling my daughter that she disappointed me would do to her. Believe me boy, I know. You may think that you know my daughter well because you got her pregnant, but I have known her for seventeen years. Rose and I are more similar than we let on. She may have her mother’s intelligence and composure, but her emotions and stubbornness are all Weasley. Her habit of running away when upset is Ron Weasley, not Hermione Granger.”
“Okay, I understand that you don’t want Rose to abandon those dreams she has,” I said. “I don’t either! But this situation does not mean it’s the end for her. You don’t need to be disappointed.”
Mr. Weasley gave a short laugh. “You think I’m the only person in this room who is disappointed? You think that your parents don’t feel the same way that I do?”
I look over at my parents, both of whom were looking down, avoiding my eye contact. I realized I had forgotten the cardinal rule of being a Malfoy.
Never talk about uncomfortable topics.
My parents avoiding my eye contact told me more than I wanted to know and I swallowed, knowing that I had disappointed my parents as well. Disappointing them wasn’t a new thing; I had disappointed them before with my choices to not bury the hatchet and befriend the Potter and Weasley family, when I brought Vanessa Bauer to the Christmas Ball and we both got drunk, but those were easy fixes that I was able to recover from.
Getting a girl pregnant at 17 while still in school? I wasn’t sure I would be able to recover from that in their eyes.
“Scorpius, you are a bright boy,” Mr. Weasley said, calming slightly. “Your parents did not want you to become a father at 17. Your father was just telling us about how you have shown interest in Curse Breaking. Do you think that hearing that his son got a girl pregnant and could be risking all of that is what they want to hear? We all want what is best for our children. Having a baby when you are still children yourself is not that.”
“We’re not children we’re 17,” I defended. “Legally, we’re adults.”
“Do you have any idea how to raise a child?” Mr. Weasley said. “How hard it is? Don’t you understand why the rate of teen fathers leaving their baby is so high?”
I immediately snapped my head up at what sounded like an accusation. “Are you suggesting that I am going to leave Rose with a baby?”
“Scorpius, that’s not what he meant,” Dad started to say. “He was pointing out the fact that often times teen fathers do leave their children.”
“Do both of you think that’s what I’m going to do?” I said, standing up at the claim. “Both of you think that if Rose has the baby that I’m going to leave her to pursue my own life.”
“Because I wouldn’t. I would never leave that baby,” I said. My blood was pumping so loud I could hear it in my ears. “If I was going to be a father, then I would be a father. Regardless of what it costs me.”
Holy shit. I was going to be a father.
“Son, you don’t understand what it takes to be a father,” Mr. Weasley said. At his words, I wanted to fight back, tell him I did understand, but I knew, deep down, that he was right. “It’s hard. Hermione and I both weren’t ready to be parents at 17 and I doubt your parents were too. Very few teenagers are. So I’m sorry if that offends you, but you are being naïve if you think this situation will be easy.”
I took a deep breath, digesting his words and realizing he was right. Since we found out about the baby a few days before, I had not actually understood what that meant.
I walked around the couch and into the kitchen, making sure to avoid eye contact with anyone. I was about to lose it as the impact of what Rose being pregnant meant. I raked my hands through my hair in frustration as all of Mr. Weasley’s words hit me. I remembered what my father was like when I was a kid and realized that in nine months, that was going to be me.
I hadn’t been thinking about the reality of the situation. I had been so focused on the fact that Rose was pregnant and the fact that she had let me be a part of it that I forgot to think about that. I was focused on the fact that Rose had kissed me twice since we found out, wondering what it had meant. I had been worried about a Potions essay due in two weeks more than I was worried about being a father.
Holy shit. I was going to be a father.
"Scorpius?" I heard from behind me, I turned and saw Mum, standing in the doorway. She looked at me and instantly said, "Oh, honey." She rushed over and brought me into a hug, pulling my head down on her shoulder.
That was when I lost it. I broke down, crying in my Mum's arms like a little boy.
"I'm so sorry, Mum," I cried into her shoulder. "I'm so sorry."
"I know, honey," she said, rubbing my back. "It’ll be okay sweetie, it’ll be okay."
"Rose?" Mum said, peaking in my door at me lying on my bed holding my teddy bear. "Can I come in?"
"I suppose," I said. Mum came in and sat down next to me. Below us, I could hear muffled shouting. "Will you and dad ever forgive me?”
“Rose, there is nothing to forgive,” Mum said. I gave her a look. “We both aren’t happy with the current situation, but we’re upset with the situation, not you.”
“Feels like there is no difference,” I said.
We heard footsteps come up the stairs and soon there was a quiet knock on my door.
“Come in, Ronald,” Mum said.
Dad entered the room, somewhat sheepishly, closing the door gently behind him.
“I’m sorry for what I said down there Rosie,” Dad said. “I should have been clearer. I am disappointed with the situation. I’m not disappointed in you.”
I wiped my nose. “Really? Because I think I am.”
“Rose, why would you say that?” Mom asked, handing me a tissue.
“Because, I shouldn’t have let this happen,” I said. “I should have used protection. But I didn’t. And now I’m screwing everything up. I could potentially be throwing away my chances at being a healer. Merlin, what will the press say when they find out?”
“Fuck the press,” Dad mumbled.
“Ron! Language!” Mum said. “Merlin and then you wonder why Hugo swears so much.” Mum turned back to me. “But, your father is right. Don’t worry about the press. We will protect this from them. We will protect you from them.”
“Just like we’ve always done,” Dad said.
I gave a sad smile. “I am sorry for this. I didn’t want today to go like this.”
Dad shrugged. “That was probably as close to positive as my reaction to you being pregnant, especially with Malfoy’s kid is going to be.”
I laughed, knowing that this was true.
“You three should probably get back to school,” Mum said. “I’m going to go tell Hugo to bring his wool socks to school, since he left them here in September.”
Mum left the room, leaving me and Dad alone for a few moments before we needed to head back down.
“Dad?” I said, getting off my bed and walking towards him. I gave him a hug. “I am sorry that I got into this situation.”
“Yeah,” Dad said. “Fancying a Malfoy is pretty shameful.”
“Dad!” I said, my face growing hot. “That’s not what’s going on.”
“Sure,” Dad said. “Let’s keep in mind you’re pregnant, so you fancying the boy who got you pregnant would be totally okay.”
I stammered, feeling very flustered at his accusation. I had known about my budding feelings for Scorpius. But I was hoping that they had remained at least a tiny bit hidden.
“Rose, if you want to date Malfoy, just do it,” Dad said. “I can handle it.”
“It’s not you I’m worried about,” I said, thinking of Louis and Al.
“They’ll deal with it,” Dad said. “You’re going to need someone by your side through this. Scorpius would probably be a good person to have. If he’s willing to yell at your dad in order to defend you, he can handle whatever will be thrown at you.”
Dad and I walked downstairs to where everyone else was waiting. Instantly, I was able to spot Scorpius sitting between his parents. His eyes were red, as if he had been crying and his mum had her arm on his back, soothingly rubbing it back and forth.
When he saw me enter, he stood up and walked across the room toward me and I met him in the middle, where I put my arms around his waist. I squeezed him tight, and he returned the action, pulling me as close to him as possible. I forgot that there were other people in the room until Hugo cleared his throat awkwardly.
Scorpius and I let go of each other, but I quickly grabbed his hand and squeezed it. I didn't want to let him go.
"Alright kids it’s probably time that you get back to school," Mum said.
I noticed that Hugo now had a pair of wool socks in his hands. He saw me staring and shrugged, as if he wasn’t sure why he would need wool socks in Scotland.
“Mum, Dad?” I said, surprising myself with what I wanted to ask. “Would it be okay if Scorpius came to Christmas? The family will probably know by then and if they don't then I'll have to tell them and I just...I want Scorpius there."
Everyone was looking at me in shock, especially Scorpius. I squeezed his hand tighter to assure him. Dad said I needed someone by my side and that it would be okay if it was Scorpius.
Mum, in true politician fashion, was able to compose herself first.
"Well, I don't see a problem with that," she said. "As long as his parents agree, of course."
We all looked at Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy. Mr. Malfoy was looking at Mrs. Malfoy, who clearly was the one who made most of the decisions in their family.
"That sounds fine," Mrs. Malfoy said. "If that is what Scorpius wants to do, then we can do it. We were just going to Paris anyway."
Scorpius looked down at me for confirmation that I wanted him there. I stared back at him with a pleading look, because the idea of not having him there for either telling my entire family or having them all walk awkwardly around me was horrible. I needed at least one ally.
Scorpius looked back at his parents. "I'll stay with them for Christmas."
"Good," Mr. Malfoy said. "Your mother and I could use a romantic vacation."
"Alright everyone," Dad said. "We should send the kids back to school."
We said our goodbyes before each going through the Floo; Hugo, me, then Scorpius. We landed in McGonagall’s office, and I was a little shocked that she was nowhere in sight.
"Where's McGonagall?" Scorpius asked Hugo, who was standing in the middle of the office.
Hugo held up a note. "Says she’s left for a meeting and that we should show ourselves out."
"Oh," Scorpius said.
Hugo played with the note. "So are you two going to tell anyone else? That way I don’t let things spill before I am supposed to."
Scorpius shrugged. “It’s up to Rose. I’m following her lead on most of this stuff.”
Hugo and Scorpius both looked at me and I thought for a second.
“I think I want to wait,” I said. “I haven’t decided what to do about the pregnancy and I think I want to wait and weigh all my options before I tell people.”
“Makes sense,” Hugo nodded. “Who knows?”
“The three of us, our parents, Chloe, and Scorpius’s friend Alex,” I said. “But no one else.”
“How does Chloe know?” Hugo asked.
“She was there when I realized that I could be pregnant,” I explained. “Thought it was only fair I tell her if I was or not.”
Hugo nodded. "Makes sense."
Hugo began to play with some of the knick-knacks on McGonagall’s desk, a clear sign to me that he was debating something in his head. Although Hugo had a habit to fidget, his fidgeting got particularly bad when he was arguing with himself.
"What are you debating?" I asked him. He looked up at me and was about to speak before I interrupted him. "And don't say nothing. You and I both know that's a lie."
"Rose it's creepy how you do that," Hugo said. He sighed, before putting a cat shaped tea pot down and looking at Scorpius and me. “I'm trying to decide how I feel about Malfoy. We were raised to dislike him. Our whole family dislikes him. He and I haven’t gotten along very well since I started Hogwarts because of his cocky attitude.”
“Yeah, it’s just him with the cocky attitude,” I said, giving Hugo a pointed look.
“The point is,” Hugo said, ignoring me. “The point is that he stood up to Dad today when Dad upset you. He argued with Dad about why Dad was wrong and I saw how upset he got when you ran out of the room. No one would look like that unless they really cared about you, Rosie.”
Despite myself, I couldn’t help but smile slightly. I snuck a peek at Scorpius and saw that he had a pink tint on his face at Hugo’s words.
"So, I have to like him for caring that much about you. But either way," Hugo said, looking at Scorpius. "If you ever hurt my sister or abandon her or your child, I will personally hunt you down."
"Hugo isn't that a little drama-" I started but Scorpius interrupted me.
“No, it’s fine,” Scorpius said. “It’s fair. I wouldn’t ever do that, so we don’t need to worry about that actually happening.”
Hugo nodded. "You're not bad Malfoy. I'm going to leave you two alone to talk about..." His gaze dropped down to my stomach. "To talk about my niece or nephew."
Once he was out of the room, I breathed a giant sigh of relief. "It's over. We did it."
“Wish that was the easy part,” Scorpius said. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” I said. “Are you?”
“I think so,” Scorpius said. “I just realized what you being pregnant actually meant for me.”
“Me too,” I said. “Pretty scary.”
Scorpius nodded in agreement. “Pretty scary.”
I moved so I was closer to Scorpius before wrapping my arms around his neck and burying my face into his chest.
“Now what do we do?” I asked him.
Scorpius sighed, wrapping his arms around my waist and holding me close.
“I have no idea.”
Thank you so much for reading! We finally got to see Scorpius's POV and it was tiny, but it was there! This story will be told primarily from Rose's POV, but we will switch occasionally. I hope you enjoyed!
Since you had to wait so long for the last chapter, I thought I would give this one to you quickly after in order to make up for it. Hopefully I can get the chapters out on a more regular schedule!
Chapter 6: Chapter 6
My heart dropped into my chest as I read the words printed on the page.
Over the next week, it became harder not being around Scorpius as much as I wanted to be. We had done a complete flip from right after Halloween; we were talking to each other more during class and would seek each other out when we were at the library together. We would, occasionally, sit at the same table together; however we still tried to keep somewhat of a distance after Louis started questioning me that Wednesday.
“What’s going on with you and Malfoy?” Louis asked me at lunch one day.
Scorpius and I had been talking in the hall, only for Audrey to pull me away when Louis spotted us. Audrey knew how deep the rivalry between Scorpius and Lou ran, knew that if Lou saw me talking to Scorpius he would immediately turn it into a bigger deal than it was. She lied to Louis, saying that we were just talking about school, but it was clear Louis didn’t believe her.
“I actually have to second this question,” Audrey said.
Audrey had also noticed mine and Scorpius’s friendliness, insisting on knowing what was happening between us. I always denied, not feeling ready to let them in on mine and Scorpius’s secret yet.
“Nothing,” I said, shrugging. “We’re the same as we’ve always been.”
“That’s not true,” Al said, putting ham on bread to make a sandwich. “You two have been way friendlier lately.”
“Not consciously,” I said, trying to brush it off. “Hey Louis, do you want me to go over your potions essay still?”
“Yes, but don’t avoid the question,” Louis said.
“I’m not!” I said. “There’s nothing to avoid.”
I saw Chloe enter the Great Hall, look at our table and sigh, clearly disappointed about something.
“Al,” Chloe said, when she reached us. “You said you were going to help me with my Transfiguration homework today. I’ve been in the library for an hour waiting for you.”
Al looked across the table at her, her eyes went wide. “That was today?”
“Yes,” Chloe said, sitting down next to me, her words short. “You said today was the only day that you could help me. This is the third time that you’ve bailed on me for this assignment. It’s due on Friday.”
“Well, let’s go now,” Al said, starting to stand up, but Chloe just shook her head.
“No,” Chloe said. Her eyes were cast downward and it was clear to everyone at the table how upset she was with Al. “It’s fine. I’ll ask for an extension or I’ll try to do it myself.”
“I can help you,” I said. “I don’t have to do rounds tonight, so I’m free to help you.”
“That’s nice that you don’t have to do rounds tonight,” Audrey said. “But I thought you always did rounds on Wednesdays?”
“Used to,” I said. “Sam asked to rearrange the schedule, so I did. Now I patrol with a fifth year instead of him on Tuesdays and Thursdays.”
“Wanker,” Louis said.
“Rose that would be great if you could help me,” Chloe said. She grabbed a slice of bread and some turkey, putting it together to make a sandwich like Al’s.
“Clo, I really am sorry,” Al said, guilt evident in his voice. “We’ve just bene having extra Quidditch Practice-“
“I know,” Chloe said.
The tension between the two of them was obvious. I looked at Audrey, who was biting her lip as she looked between the two of them, unsure of how to make this not awkward.
“Chloe, may I ask your opinion on something?” Louis asked, clearly attempting to divert the attention away from Chloe and Al’s impending argument.
“Yeah,” Chloe answered, turning away from Al to look at Louis.
“Do you think that Malfoy and Rose have been more friendly lately?”
“Oh Merlin,” I said, rolling my eyes.
As much as I acted like Louis’s accusations were completely out of the blue, I knew that he was right. Not only had we been more friendly with school, but I had also suggested to my patrolling partner to split up the castle, with me taking the top half of the castle and them the bottom, something Sam never would have agreed to.
During this time, Scorpius would meet me and do my patrols with me.
I loved my nights with Scorpius. We didn't do anything, he just helped me patrol, but I enjoyed being with him and not pretending that there was nothing happening between us. We were totally different than how we were during the day. Instead of giving each other small smiles and nods, we held hands and flirted. We didn't hide our feelings, we made them known to each other.
We acted like a couple.
We would walk through the castle, either holding hands or with his arm around me, talking about anything and everything, just enjoying each other’s company. We didn't really talk about the baby, which I was glad about, but it did come up sometimes. Mainly just when we were going to tell people, but we never remained on the subject for long. Our nights together were focused on us, not the impending explosion of when our friends and my family found out.
And I was okay with that. Getting to know Scorpius was probably the most fun I've had in a while.
He was funny, really funny, I laughed at nearly everything he said. He was so sarcastic that he rivaled James and we would often have full sarcastic conversations. He was a lot smarter than people, myself included, gave him credit for. He admitted to being a huge dork, despite the cool demeanor he put on at school.
I liked him.
I really, really liked him.
“Are you joking Louis?” Chloe said. “They’ve been normal with each other as ever.”
I sent a grateful smile to Chloe, the only person who knew about the pregnancy and my nights with Scorpius, for keeping the secret. I had assumed that she would have wanted to tell Al, but she didn’t disagree or argue with me when I asked her not to.
“Why are we only talking about my love life?” I asked, wanting to deflect the conversation. “Why not ask you or Audrey if something is happening, hmm Lou?”
“Because I obviously know the answer to that, Audrey tells mem everything,” Louis said.
Audrey snorted, causing Lou to give her a glare.
“So you know about the Ravenclaw she got caught snogging then?” Chloe asked. Audrey’s eyes widened and she gave Chloe a betrayed look.
Louis frowned. “No. What Ravenclaw?”
“Just a bloke,” Audrey said. “No big deal. We were just flirting and decided to snog. Was nothing more than that.”
“Right,” Louis said quietly.
Audrey watched him, a strange look coming over her face.
“We should probably get to class,” Al said. “Chloe do you want me to walk you to Charms?”
“No,” Chloe said, without looking at him. “Rose and I need to figure out our plan for us to meet tonight.”
“Oh,” Al said. “Okay.”
Chloe gave him a tight smile and Al’s shoulders slacked.
“Chloe, I’m sorry-“
“Al, it’s fine,” Chloe said. “I’m going to work with Rose to get it done. Have a good rest of your day and a good Quidditch Practice.”
“Okay,” Al said, clearly not believe that Chloe was okay.
I waved goodbye to Louis as he followed Al out, standing up while Audrey turned to Chloe.
“Chloe did you have to do that?” she asked.
“Do what?” Chloe said.
“Tell Louis about the Ravenclaw,” Audrey said. “You saw how weird he got.”
“He got weird because he fancies you,” Chloe said. “And you don’t like that I told him because you fancy him.”
“That’s not true,” Audrey said. “He just didn’t need to know that. It’s not like I’m going to hang out with that bloke again.”
“Okay, well, I’m sorry Audrey,” Chloe said. “I didn’t think telling him would be a big deal.”
“You know that I don’t talk to Louis about boys,” Audrey said. “It is the one topic I don’t discuss with him. You know that, Chloe.”
Chloe sighed. It was very clear that Audrey wasn’t going to back off, so Chloe gave in.
“I’m sorry,” Chloe said. “Just a lot going on right now.”
Audrey nodded. “Okay. Well I’ll see you guys later. I need to get to Muggle Studies.”
“Bye Audrey,” I said, giving her one last smile before she left.
Chloe rubbed her forehead with her hand, clearly frustrated. “Let’s go to class, Rose.”
“Are you sure you’re okay?” I asked.
“Nothing that can’t wait until after class.”
Chloe and I had been in the library for close to two hours, neither one of us bringing up Chloe’s fights with both Albus and Audrey.
I knew that Chloe and Audrey would end up being okay. They often got into little spats, but things were always quickly resolved as soon as they started. There were very few times in the friendship between the three of us that we weren’t speaking.
“I’m almost done,” Chloe said. “Just want to clarify this last answer. Thank you again for helping me on last minute notice.”
“No problem,” I said. “I was planning on coming to the library anyway to do homework.”
“Was a certain blond planning to join you?”
“No,” I said, feeling my face get warm. “He was hanging out with his friends Alex and Emily tonight.”
“Right,” Chloe said. “Well, I’m glad I’m not spoiling your night as well as my own.”
I frowned. “Are you okay?”
“Just frustrated,” Chloe said. “I needed to get this done earlier.”
“Al was supposed to help you right?” I asked.
“Yes,” Chloe said, furrowing her brows together. “Originally, he was supposed to help me on Saturday, but he forgot. Then he was supposed to help me on Monday, but he said he would tutor a first year in Transfiguration, forgetting that he already said he would tutor me. He promised me, promised that today at during our mutual free period before lunch, he would help me, because this was the one time that he had free. And he forgot.” Chloe sighed. “He forgot. And I waited here for an hour, attempting to do this assignment by myself, before going to the Great Hall to find him.”
“Well, he’s been busy lately, all of us have,” I said.
“I know,” Chloe said. “I’m not upset with him for being busy. Like you said, we all have been busy. I really needed his help, N.E.W.T. level Transfiguration has been kicking my arse this term and he’s one of the best in the year.”
“You could have asked me earlier,” I said. “You know that I am always happy to help.”
“I know, but I wanted Albus to help me. Al has always helped me before,” Chloe said. “He’s always wanted to help me before.”
“I bet he still wants to help you,” I defended. “You know how much he loves spending time with you.”
“Does he though?” Chloe said. She took a deep breath. “Rose, I haven’t told anyone this because I didn’t want to admit that it was an issue, but mine and Al’s relationship is falling apart.”
I frowned at her, confused. Yes, they had argued earlier today, but I hardly thought that meant they were falling apart.
“What do you mean?” I asked. “Because he forgot that he was supposed to help you study?”
“No,” Chloe said. “I mean, that isn’t helping but that isn’t the biggest issue. I don’t know I feel like he isn’t trying anymore. He barely makes an effort to spend time with me, he forgets when we do have plans, he doesn’t check on me like he used to…”
Chloe drifted off and her eyes filled with tears.
“He just doesn’t seem to care anymore,” Chloe whispered. “Every time I try to bring it up, when he bails on plans or doesn’t seemed bothered that we haven’t spent time together in two weeks, he brushes it off, saying that we’re fine. But I don’t feel fine Rose. I understand that he has a lot on his plate, we all do. But he has never had an issue spending time with me before, even when he was this busy.”
“You’ve tried talking to him about this?” I asked, despite the fact that she had just said that.
“Yes, he honestly doesn’t see why it makes me upset not to spend time with him,” Chloe said, wiping her eyes as a tear fell. “He doesn’t understand why I think it’s a big deal that we haven’t—“
Chloe immediately shut her mouth, not finishing her sentence.
“You haven’t what?”
Chloe bit her lip, clearly unsure of whether to say what she intended.
“Chloe,” I said reaching forward to hold her hand. “You can say whatever you want to me and I won’t tell anyone. If you’re upset, I want to help. You have been so wonderful to me the past week; you have been the only person besides a certain blond that I have been able to talk to about my situation. So, if you have something to say, this is a safe space to tell me and it won’t leave here.”
Chloe closed her eyes, thinking, before nodding.
“He doesn’t think it’s a big deal that we haven’t had sex since August,” Chloe whispered. “Not even just sex; we haven’t done anything physical, in four months. We didn’t even make it four months into our relationship without having sex for the first time. I know it’s not a main determination of how a relationship is doing but…the fact that we haven’t done anything physical for four months beyond kissing and he doesn’t seem to notice or care isn’t exactly making me feel like he’s all in.”
Chloe put her hand over her eyes, taking a deep breath, clearly trying to hold her emotions in since we were in the library.
“He just doesn’t care,” Chloe said. “Or at least he’s not showing it. And I can’t keep doing this. I love him so much, but I can’t be the only one working on our relationship.”
I was about to respond, but Madam Smith, the librarian, interrupted me as she approached our table.
“Library is closing girls,” she said. “There is only a half hour left until curfew.”
“Thank you,” I said.
Chloe immediately began putting her stuff away, wiping her eyes.
“Rose, I don’t really want to talk about this anymore,” Chloe said. “I don’t know what to do, but I don’t want to lose him. So I’ll just…wait to see if anything gets better.”
I bit my lip, keeping my thoughts to myself, feeling worried about my favorite couple.
Chloe and I walked into the Common Room and Al was sitting in the couch, chatting with his sister Lily. Out of all my cousins, Lily was one that I was very close to, but when we were at Hogwarts, we rarely saw each other, due to our very busy and very conflicting schedules. Despite the fact that she was one of my favorite cousins, our years kept us separate most of the time.
Upon seeing Al, Chloe gave a small, sad smile. It was very clear that even though they were having a lot of difficulties, she still loved him.
Al looked up when the Common Room door opened, quickly standing up and walking over to us when seeing us enter. I was disappointed to see one of Lily’s year mates come over and talk to her, meaning that she wouldn’t join us.
“Hi,” Al said. He gave Chloe a kiss, but she pulled away quickly, keeping the kiss short.
“Hey Al,” I said. Al gave me a small smile before looking back at Chloe.
“Did you finish your assignment?” Al asked.
“Yeah,” Chloe said. “Rose was a big help.”
“I’m really sorry I wasn’t able to help,” Al said, the guilt he felt evident in his face. “I’ve been so busy lately-“
“I know,” Chloe said. “It’s okay. It all worked out.”
“I should have been there though,” Al said. “I want to help you-“
“Al,” Chloe said. “It’s okay. I’m tired. Can we talk more about this tomorrow though?”
“Yeah,” Al said. “Yes, let’s talk more tomorrow.”
Chloe gave a small smile and gave Al a quick kiss.
“I’m going to head up to bed,” she said. “Are you coming Rose?”
“I’ll be up in a minute,” I said.
Chloe gave us one last smile and a quick “I love you” to Al, before heading up to bed.
“Al, you know you don’t have to wait for me,” I said. “You do this every night I’m out close to curfew.”
“I know, but I like to,” Al said. “I like to know you’re safe, Rosie.”
“Well thank you,” I said.
“Rose, can I ask you something?”
“Yes,” I said. “What is it?”
“It’s about what Louis was asking about during lunch,” Al said, and I felt my heart sink a little. “Is there something going on between you and Malfoy? Do you fancy him?”
I opened my mouth to call him crazy, but he cut me off.
“Rose, you two have been talking more lately. I understand why you wouldn’t tell Louis if you had feelings for him, Louis would go into a blind rage, but you know you can tell me,” Al said. “I don’t like the bloke, but I’m not going to completely disassociate from you if you did.”
“Al…” I said, feeling conflicted about how I wanted to answer.
On one hand, I knew that I could tell Al that I had feelings for Scorpius; I could even tell him I was pregnant, and things would be okay, or at least he would make more of an effort to understand. Louis was the hothead of the two of them. Albus was more rational, more understand, not as quick to anger. I could tell him everything and he would help me through it, and it could even help bridge the separation between him and Chloe.
But I wasn’t ready yet. To tell him about Scorpius or about the pregnancy.
“Nothing is going on with me and Malfoy,” I said. “We may have been friendlier lately, but that’s not because of anything in particular. We have never disliked each other the way that you and Lou dislike him.”
Al gave me a long look and I could tell he didn’t believe me. But, instead of pushing me, instead of calling my bluff, he only nodded.
“Okay,” Al said. “Well, I’ll see you tomorrow okay?”
“Yeah,” I said, smiling at him. “Night Al.”
"Rose, come on!" Audrey's voice pulled me out of my dreams and back to reality. I rubbed my eyes.
"What time is it?" I asked.
"Eight Twelve. Did you suddenly forget classes start at nine? You're normally up by now," she said. She had her robes on, her makeup done, and hair braided back. "Everyone went down to eat already."
“Crap,” I said, quickly getting out of bed. I ran to the bathroom, quickly washing my face before putting my robes on. I pulled half my hair back, wanting it out of my face.
“Okay, ready,” I said. Audrey held my book bag out to me and we started out of our dorm. “Thank you for waiting for me.”
“Of course,” Audrey said. “I feel as though I never see you anymore. And I also didn’t really feeling like walking down with Chloe after yesterday.”
“Aud, she was in a crappy mood and didn’t mean anything by it,” I said.
“I know,” Audrey said, shrugging. “Still, she didn’t need to take her relationship issues out on me.”
I sighed, knowing that Audrey had a fair point and that she was clearly too upset to forgive Chloe right now.
“Speaking of Chloe,” Audrey said, she bit her lip, showing that she was nervous to talk to me. “You two have been whispering secrets a lot lately. Anything you want to share?”
A sudden wave of guilt came over me, knowing how insecure Audrey always got when she felt as though she was being left out. I almost told her, right then, everything that was happening, but just like with Al, I didn’t feel ready to let that secret out of my little bubble yet.
“There’s nothing to share,” I said. “At least not from me”
Audrey gave me a smile that didn’t meet her eyes and I could tell she didn’t exactly believe me. “Okay.”
“What going on with you?” I asked, hoping to deflect. “How is harassing the Ministry to give you a job going? Any new leads on how to make the world a more equal and equitable place?”
For the rest of the way to the Great Hall, Audrey told me all about how she has discovered the areas of the Ministry she didn’t want to work in, and how she was still hoping that something would open in my mother’s office by the time we graduated, since she felt she could make the most difference there.
We entered the Great Hall and instantly, I noticed that it was louder than normal, with the whole student body talking very animatedly about something in the paper. A few staff members were sitting at the table, which wasn’t unusual, but all of them seemed curious as to why students were more chatty than normal.
I tried looking at the paper as we walked by, but was unable to see what exactly had people so excited.
“Clearly there is some good gossip going around,” Audrey said, picking up on the same energy I had.
I nodded, my eyes scanning for Louis, Al and Chloe at the table. I frowned when I saw them all sitting in silence, because that was something incredibly rare to see, especially when everyone else was so lively.
I sat down next to Louis, Audrey on the other side of him.
“Hey guys,” I said. “Know why everyone is so chatty this morning?”
I looked up at Chloe and saw her nearly on the verge of tears, Al sitting next to her, glaring at his food. Suddenly, I thought that maybe something happened with them, in front of everyone, and that’s why people were so animated. A public fight between such a solid couple would definitely cause people to freak out.
“Is it true?” Louis asked from next to me.
I turned to him, confused.
“Oh my god,” Audrey whispered as she looked down at the paper in front of Louis.
I immediately turned toward the paper, confused as to why whatever was in it would cause this reaction.
And when I read the headline, I couldn’t believe that I had been so stupid.
Rose Weasley and Scorpius Malfoy: First Comes a Teen Pregnancy!
My heart dropped into my chest as I read the words printed on the page.
Rose Weasley, 17, daughter of Wizarding World Heroes Ron and Hermione Weasley, is said to be just about 5 weeks pregnant with Scorpius Malfoy’s, also 17, son of former Death Eater Draco Malfoy, baby. Word on the street is that they weren’t dating until this. So how do we know this is true? Well, we have the pregnancy results right here, sent in to us from an anonymous source.
Results: Pregnant, 4 weeks
Projected due date: August 5th
Mother: Rose Weasley
Father: Scorpius Malfoy
The whole word suddenly felt as though it was spinning, as I felt anxiety and emotion begin to overflow me.
It was out.
I wasn’t ready to even tell the people closest to me.
And now everything was out for anyone to read.
"Is it true, Rose?" Louis said, snapping me out of my trance. The anger in his voice was obvious. "Are you having a baby? With Malfoy, of all people?"
I felt Al’s eyes on me, wanting to know the same thing, probably wanting to know why, when we were talking last night, I didn’t tell him.
“I…I…” I tried to say, but found I couldn’t even form a sentence.
Over Louis’s shoulder, I saw Scorpius walk in. He scanned the Great Hall, picking up on the unusual amount of energy, before he saw me. His face immediately shifted to concern and he took a couple steps towards me, before Alex grabbed him by the shoulder and talking to him. Scorpius’s face went white and I knew that Alex had told him the secret was out.
“I’m going to kill him,” Louis said. My eyes snapped back to him, and I saw that he was looking at Scorpius as well.
“Lou, don’t-“ I tried to say, but Louis was already up and walking towards Scorpius.
“Shit,” Al said, as he stood up to go after Louis, hopefully to stop him.
I got out of my seat and followed after them, trying to stop the explosion that I knew was coming.
But I wasn't fast enough.
“Hey Malfoy!” Louis yelled as he got close to Scorpius. As soon as Scorpius turned around, still white and shock written all over his face, Louis punched him straight in the jaw.
The Great Hall suddenly erupted into Chaos of everyone trying to get as close to the Entrance of the hall as possible, trying to see the fight. I pushed my way to the front, hoping that Albus had gotten there and was able to pull Louis off, but saw that hadn’t happened yet.
“Louis stop!” I yelled.
Louis tackled Scorpius, before Scorpius attempted to hit him in the chest. Scorpius gained advantage, pushing Louis off him. Alex and Emily tried to pull Scorpius away from the fray, but Scorpius was already just as heated as Louis was and wasn’t planning on walking away.
“Dammit Scorp!” I heard Emily yell. I looked over and saw that she was now holding Alex back from joining, as he was attempting to join and help Scorpius.
“Scorpius, stop!” I yelled as I made my way to the front, right as Scorpius struck a blow to Louis’s stomach, causing Louis to double over.
I ran in front of Scorpius, who was nearly breathing fire with rage, sticking myself in front of him and putting my hands on his chest.
“Scorpius,” I said. “Scorpius stop.”
“Tell him that,” Scorpius muttered, trying to get around me.
“Please Scorpius!” I pleaded. My voice sounded high and whiney, but I think my voice sounded so desperate, that I was able to pull Scorpius out of the blind rage he was in.
I turned around and saw that Al had made it to the front of the crowd and now was standing next to Louis, clearly trying to calm him down. I knew that Al was probably trying to get him to deal with this somewhere more private, but Louis just watched me and Scorpius, his eyes still ablaze.
"So it's true?" Louis asked. Audrey, Chloe and Lily were all standing behind him and Al, shock on Audrey and Lily’s faces, and guilt on Chloe’s. “Dammit Rose, is it true?”
I looked Louis dead in the eye, nodding slightly before speaking. “Yes. It’s true. I’m pregnant.”
The crowd immediately broke out into discussion. Louis became even more furious, while Al dropped his arms from in front of Louis, clearly in shock and even a little hurt to be hearing this while in a crowd, like we were a circus.
"What the hell, Rose?" Louis said, taking a few steps towards us now that Al wasn’t holding him back. His gaze found Scorpius and I knew that he was going to take all his anger out on him.
"No!" I yelled, positioning myself in front of Scorpius. The tears in my eyes were starting to escape as I felt the judgements of everyone around me. "You're not going to hurt him!"
"Like hell I'm not!" Louis said.
I looked at Al, to beg him to hold Louis back but saw that Albus was just looking at me in complete disappointment.
Thankfully my brother pushed his way through the crowd and blocked Lou's path, pushing him back.
"Whoa there, Lou," Hugo said, holding Louis shoulders to push him back to his side of the circle. "Just step back. Leave Malfoy alone."
"That son of a bitch," Louis kept muttering.
"Excuse me, what is going on here?" Sam's voice broke the silence. Instantly a place in the crowd separated and he appeared, looking from Scorpius and I at one end and my brother and cousins on the other.
"What's going on is that this bastard got my cousin pregnant!" Louis yelled. He said it with such disgust and was looking at me like he didn't even know who I was. Even more tears fell from my eyes and I faced the ground, unable to look at Lou's face anymore. "If this is your idea of a joke it's fucked up, Rose-"
"It's not a joke," Chloe said, separating herself from the crowd. I saw Audrey look between me and her with a hurt look on her face. "She's really pregnant."
“That’s fucked up,” Louis said. “This is so fucked up.”
"You knew?" Al asked said to Chloe. Chloe’s turned to him, and her face immediately dropped as she looked at the betrayed expression on Al’s face. "You knew and you didn't tell me?"
Chloe looked at Al, almost as if she was begging him not to have asked that question, and I wondered if she realized that the relationship she had been so worried about losing the day before could have been lost because of her loyalty to me.
I felt sick with guilt as I watched Chloe nod, Al immediately breaking eye contact and running his hands through his hair. From the look on his face, it was clear that he felt betrayed and that he was done.
"What the fuck?" Louis said to Chloe. "You knew our cousin was pregnant and you didn't tell us? Why would you do that? Why the hell would you keep this from us you-"
"Hey!" I yelled at Louis, suddenly pissed that he was taking out his anger on Chloe when it was my mistake he was mad at. "Stop yelling at her, Louis, it isn't her fault!"
"Stop talking, Rose!" he said, facing me. He was looking at me with such disgust, like he didn't even recognize me. "I don't care what you have to say, I never want to speak to you again! As far as I'm concerned, from this day on, you're dead to me!"
I was shocked into silence and I felt as though I had been slapped in the face. Louis, my best friend, my cousin who I grew up with, hated me. All the memories we had of growing up meant nothing to him because I made one mistake.
My knees buckled and I would’ve fallen to the ground but Scorpius caught me. I must have been crying hard because he turned me around and brought me to his chest. He held my waist with one arm and smoothed my hair with the other while saying, "Shh, it'll be okay. It will all be okay."
Behind me, Louis was about to go at Chloe again, but Albus stopped him. The next thing I heard was Chloe and Albus yelling at each other. I started to cry harder because even though I couldn't hear it clearly, I knew what was happening; I knew they were breaking up.
I couldn't handle it. I wanted to run away, somewhere no one could find me.
So I did just that.
I got out of Scorpius' grasp and ran. I ran as far as I could and went to the place where this whole mess started.
When I got to the Room of Requirement, I managed to think, "I need a place where no one can find me."
When the doors appeared, I ran in, sat on the couch and started sobbing.
For the first time in my whole Hogwarts career, I skipped my classes. I sat in the Room of Requirement all day doing nothing but crying, reading and sleeping.
I finally decided that I should leave when I realized that it was close to 8 at night, figuring that someone, probably Hugo and Scorpius, would be worried about where I was. It also occurred to me that they could be the only ones who were worried.
When I reached the Fat Lady, I dreaded what was inside, more for fear of being unsure of what to expect once I got inside. As soon as I had finally worked up the courage to enter and go find my brother, I was anxious the whole time. Fortunately, no one paid attention to me as I walked towards the staircase to the dorms.
That is until I was halfway across the room and I heard someone say, "Slut."
I turned around, trying to see who said it, and saw a bunch of fifth years, Lily sitting with them.
She didn't do anything. She didn't stand up for me, she didn't threaten to use the Boogy-Bat hex I knew she can do, she didn't even acknowledge my presence. I may as well have been a first year to her. She just sat there, looking at her Herbology book, clearly pretending like I wasn’t there.
"Why didn't you tell me?" I heard Audrey's voice say from behind me. Slowly, I turned and faced her. She didn't look mad, just hurt. "We're supposed to be best friends. We’re supposed to tell each other everything."
"Audrey, I wanted to bu-"
“But what?" she asked me. "What stopped you from telling me? Not once in our entire friendship have I lied to you yet you never tell me anything! For the past seven years, I thought we were best friends, I thought we could go to each other for anything."
She was holding back tears and I realized how much I had hurt her. Audrey never cried. At least, not the past few years. She claimed she had gone through too much when her depression was at its lowest to find anything as sad as that anymore.
"We can," I said, trying to reassure her. "We can always go to each oth-"
"No we can't! I came to you when I needed you most, but you have never returned the favor! You're my best friend Rose, you were there for me in fifth year after-" She squeezed her eyes together, as if to hold all the tears threatening to escape in "After he cheated. And after the depression and self-hate and self-harm that happened with that. You were there for all of it."
"That's not true-"
"When did you find out you were pregnant?" she asked me. "I don't even know. I don't even know if you fancy Scorpius or if you two are dating, but I bet Chloe does."
I looked down at the ground, unable to speak. I stopped trying to wipe the tears away and let them run down my face.
"She was the first person you told, wasn't she?" I had never heard Audrey sound so betrayed. "It's not even that you told her first. That's fine, it hurts but that's not what hurts most. It's that you didn't trust me with it after. Almost as if I wasn't good enough."
"Aud, you know I don't think that," I said, looking up at her to see all her make up smeared because of her tears.
"Really? Because you have a funny way of showing it," Audrey said. "I've felt that way for so long and you know that. You know that when he cheated on me, I got even worse and believed I wasn't even good enough to live. Remember those days? When I didn't feel like I would ever be good enough so I took it out on myself? Because I do. I remember it every day." Audrey pulls her sleeves down, covering the scars she has on her wrists. I remembered those days, those terrible days when I would find Audrey with fresh wounds, after she promised she'd stop, every day. And it hurt me to think about it. "But you made me stop. You picked me up and you made me see a therapist and you made me believe that maybe I was good enough. I wouldn’t be where I am today without you, because I thought that if someone like you cared that much about me, maybe I was good enough." She took a deep breath and looked me in the eyes. "I never thought the one person who made me believe I was enough, realized I wasn't."
I was speechless. Audrey pushed past me, straight toward Louis who had just walked in the portrait hole with Al. Louis held her in a hug and kissed her head. The way he was holding her, like she was the most perfect thing even though she was a mess, made me think he really cared about her, more than he let on. Although I never believed that Louis and Audrey’s relationship was strictly platonic, I was struck by how potentially unplatonic Louis’s feelings were for her.
He said something to her and she nodded, letting go of him. He intertwined their fingers and pulled her out of the Common Room, leaving Al standing at the entrance of the portrait hole.
Hesitantly, I walked towards Al. I wasn't sure how he felt about the whole thing, for he was mad in the Great Hall, but everyone was. I needed his opinion, his advice. He was my best friend, more like an older brother I never wanted than a cousin. He meant everything to me. Al was always the number one man in my life, tied with Dad and Hugo of course, he was my protector, my shoulder to cry on, the one who made me laugh.
There was absolutely nothing I wouldn't do for him. I could never be mad at him.
But I suddenly got the feeling that maybe it wasn’t the same for him.
Al saw me approaching, but he didn't do what I longed for him to do, what I would beg him to do, which was hold out his arms and hold me while I cried. He just stared at me, his normally expressive face unreadable.
And that scared me the most.
"Al," I somehow managed to say. I stared into his eyes and saw everything I didn't want to see: disappointment, disgust, betrayal. I had never seen him look at me, hell, look at anybody, like that. "Please don't look at me like that."
"Like what?" Albus said, his normally soothing and calm voice laced with venom.
"Like you've never been more disappointed," I said. I pleaded to Merlin that he would say something, anything but what he actually said.
"Well, I haven't been more disappointed in someone," Albus said, his voice hopeless. I dropped my head in shame. "How could this happen? And with Malfoy? What, were you just so drunk you couldn't keep your hands off each other?"
I shook my head. "It wasn't like that."
"Then have you been dating him in secret for months and none of us noticed?" Albus asked harshly. I looked up at him, trying to speak, but nothing came out. "Not that either? So it was just a one night stand where you were completely aware of what was happening?"
We stared at each other in silence, me with tears running down my face and Albus looking at me with all the disappointment in the world.
"Merlin, Rose," Albus said, raking a hand through his messy dark hair that was so similar to his dad's and James'. "I never thought you would be stupid enough to do something like this."
"So what?" I asked him, suddenly annoyed that all anyone could think about was how stupid I was for letting this happen, as if I hadn’t thought that myself. I understood that everyone needed their time to process, but why was their processing more important than ensuring that I was actually okay? "So I made a mistake and I'm pregnant. I don't need you lecturing me. What I need is the only boy I've been able to count on who wasn't my dad or Hugo to be there for me. I need him to take me in his arms and tell me everything is going to be okay and that no matter how bad this is that he still loves me. I need my big brother, Albus." I choked back the overflowing amounts of tears, as he stood there, staring at me. I looked into his wonderful green eyes, hoping to find comfort and not being able to read them, only seeing that they were softer than they were before. "Please don't agree with Louis. Please don't let me be dead to you." I was hysterical now, weeping and voice cracking. Many people were watching but I didn't care. All I cared about was Al. "Please, Al."
"Rosie..." Al said, looking at me. I begged him. I couldn't lose him. "I...I'm sorry."
And with that, my entire world shattered.
Albus wanted nothing to do with me.
I looked around at all the people in the Common Room. I saw Lily and made eye contact with her, only to have her look away. I looked around at all the faces, some of whom I've known for seven years and I just couldn't handle it. I couldn't be there anymore.
For the second time that day, I ran away. I pushed past Albus and out of the Common Room. I had no idea where I was going but I had to leave.
I didn't realize where I was going until I was already there. The dungeons were dark and cold, with low candles burning to light the way.
I made my way to the Slytherin Common Room and was almost there when I ran straight into somebody.
"Oh sorry," I heard a male voice say. I kept going, hoping that he wouldn't see who I was and that I was crying. I didn't need some Slytherin insulting me as well. But a hand grabbed my arm. "Rose?"
I turned and through my tears saw Alex Zabini, Scorpius' best friend.
"Are you alright?" he asked me, seeming genuinely concerned.
I shook my head and wiped snot from my nose. "Do you know where Scorpius is?"
"Yeah. Do you want me to bring you to him?" he asked me.
I nodded my head, not finding the will to speak. I just wanted to be with Scorpius.
"Follow me,” Alex said. He led me to the entrance, said the password, and walked in.
Wordlessly, I followed him into the Slytherin Common Room.
Hi! You didn't hear from me for like a month and now you got three chapters all in less than a week! Woo! This is partly because I want to share with you guys, but also because I had time and with the winter Holidays coming up (as well as finals) I want to update when I can :) Hopefully I'm done with all the major rewrites with this story so the updates can be more regular, like how it was with Madness (if any of you read that when I was posting it).
This is a monster of a chapter in length and in content, so please tell me what you think! So much happened!
Thank you always for reading, please feel free to kudos/comment/bookmark/subscribe to show how you feel! In case I don't get to say it, happy holidays!
Chapter 7: Chapter 7
I just stared at Hugo, tears forming in my eyes.
"What?" Hugo asked me. "What happened? Why are you crying? Who do I need to kill?"
All day I had been stressing over Rose. I hadn't seen her since she ran off from the Great Hall and I wasn't able to follow her because McGonagall dragged me to her office so we could figure out what to do about this. However I managed to postpone the meeting until I found Rose, considering she was the main one affected. And then she sent me to the Hospital Wing, claiming that the blood on my face was more critical than finding the emotional mother of my unborn child. After that, I had Potions and decided to skip in order to look for Rose. I had looked all over the castle, even the kitchens, before I decided that she was probably in class.
It was Rose. I was pretty sure she wouldn't miss class for anything.
But she wasn't there. And by lunch I was a nervous wreck wondering where she went.
"Mate," Alex said. "You got to eat something."
"I can't," I said. "Where is she?"
"She's probably just up in her dorms. Maybe she'll come down for lunch," Emily said. She grabbed my plate, putting some vegetables on it, before placing it in front of me, clearly expecting me to eat it.
I looked down at it before looking back up at the entrance to the Great Hall. I wanted Emily’s words to be true, but I had a sinking feeling that she wouldn’t after the blow up with her family.
“I don’t think she will,” I said. “I get the feeling Rose handles things by just hiding and running away until the worst is over.”
"Okay," Emily said. She sent a worrying look to Alex, who looked just as unsure of how to handle the situation as she did. "Just promise me you'll eat something? I don't think Rose needs you to end up in the hospital wing because you passed out from starvation."
I grabbed my fork, shoving a carrot into my mouth.
“Happy?” I asked.
“Mate, close your mouth when you have food in it,” Alex said.
I sent a glare to both Alex and Emily before I began to eat, realizing that Emily was right. I hadn’t been able to eat breakfast this morning because of the fact that Rose’s cousin greeted me with his fist.
I glanced over at the Gryffindor table, seeing that Rose’s friends, who normally sat in the same spot for every meal, were scattered throughout the table, all separate from each other. I was suddenly grateful Rose wasn’t in the Great Hall; seeing her friends not sitting together would have hurt her.
Alex and Emily both tried to distract me with other topics for the rest of lunch, but I didn’t partake. Eventually, they stopped trying to include me in their conversations when they realized I wasn’t going to join them.
When lunch was over, Rose still had yet to make an appearance.
“Maybe she’ll be in Charms,” Alex said as we stood up and walked out of the Great Hall.
“I’ll keep an eye out for her while I’m in Herbology,” Emily said. “I might ask Professor Longbottom if he’s seen her.”
“Okay,” I said. “Thanks Em.” I scanned the Entrance Hall, which was filled with students running to classes, and tried to spot Rose.
Emily looked at me. "Any sign of her?"
I shook my head look down at her in defeat. "Nothing."
I was worried sick. The day after Halloween, Rose clearly felt guilty about what happened between us and ran away from me, refusing to talk to me. I could only imagine what was going to do now, when it was clear she felt guilt not only about what happened between us, but also about how her family reacted.
Emily, who was tall for a girl, standing at about 5'11'', wrapped her arms around my neck. "She'll be okay," she said in my ear. "Rose will show up. She's dealing with a lot but she wouldn't do anything stupid."
I hugged Emily back. "I hope your right."
"Of course I'm right," Emily said. She let go of me and pushed some hair out of my eyes. "She'll turn up, Scorp. Just give her time.”
“Come on,” Alex said, clapping my shoulder. “We need to get to class.”
Nothing. The entire day and she was nowhere to be seen. Now it was about eight at night and I was about to have a panic attack.
"What if something happened to her?" I said, pacing the floor of the common room.
Alex sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Scorp, I'm sure she's fine."
"But she would've contacted me right?" I said. "I mean, if she was okay? She must know I'm worried."
Alex gave an exhausted look at Emily, who was sitting next to him.
"Scorpius, while it's wonderful that you care this much about her," Emily said, setting her book down. "You need to calm down. You're about to have a panic attack."
"I can't calm down!" I shouted. I sat down in the armchair and racked my hands through my hair. "All I can think is that something terrible happened to her. Or that she ran away and isn't coming back. Or that something happened that I can’t even think of.”
“She is probably still in the castle,” Alex said. “It’s not like she could sneak out or something.”
“Or maybe she went home,” Emily said. “McGonagall has allowed students to go visit home in extreme cases before.”
My leg was popping up and down, as it had been all day, before I stood up, unable to sit down.
"I am going to go find her,” I said, about to walk past Alex and Emily towards the exit to the Common Room.
"Oh no you aren't," Emily said, standing up and blocking my path. "You need to calm down. If you go out looking for her then you'll lose your mind trying to find her and end up having a nervous breakdown." She turned me around and pushed me toward the dorms. "You are going to go up to your dorm and stay there while Alex and I go look for her."
"What?" Alex said, looking at Emily with his signature annoyed and flirty look, reserved just for her. "Why do I have to get up? Why can't you just go?"
Emily glared at him and grabbed his hand to pull him up. "You," she said pointing at me. "Up to your room. And you," she turned to Alex, whose hand she was still holding. "Are coming with me."
"Hey, don't end up making out in some broom cupboard," I said. "Actually find Rose."
"Oh like that would ever happen," Emily said, with a disgusted look on her face.
"Well don't sound so disgusted Em," Alex said. "I know you want me."
Emily pulled her hand out of his. "Only in your dreams." She walked out of the Common Room.
"Yeah, it only is in my dreams," Alex said quietly and followed her out.
I sighed at them, feeling slightly annoyed that Alex was using my personal crisis to flirt with Emily.
I thought about sneaking out to go look for Rose on my own anyway, but knew that if Emily found out, she would have killed me. So I started walking up to my room.
However, halfway there, I ran into Vanessa Bauer. She stopped right in front of me and it took all I my strength not to outwardly groan when I saw the seductive look in her eye.
“Hey Scorp,” she said. She placed her hand on my arm and ran it up and down my forearm. “How are you doing?”
“Fine,” I said, pulling my arm out of her grasp.
“You seem stressed,” Vanessa said. She placed a hand on my chest. “Anything I can do to help you with that? You liked when I would help you destress last year.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t really need you for that anymore,” I said, removing her arm from my chest and walking past her. “Interested in someone else now.”
“Right,” Vanessa said, her voice venomous behind my back. “Your pregnant whore. I forgot about her.”
Although I wanted to tell Vanessa off for calling Rose a whore, I knew it wouldn’t make me feel better. I wasn’t in the mood to deal with her crap. Instead, I just walked to my dorm, slamming the door behind me.
I lay on my bed and images of me and Rose from Halloween filled my mind, just as they had every time I was on my bed since that night. I put my hands to my face, trying to take deep breaths in order to try to calm myself down and not tear the castle down in search of Rose.
I heard the door open, figuring it was Avery coming in, since there was no way that Emily or Alex had found Rose in that short of time.
"Hey Scorp?" I heard Alex say.
Instantly, I got up from lying down and looked at the door. Cowering behind Alex was Rose, her face wet and her eyes red and puffy from crying. She looked so small behind him, hiding her head, clearly trying not to let people see her face.
“Rose,” I said, the relief at seeing her obvious in my voice.
At her name, Rose looked up at me and let out a breath, a small, sad smile appearing on her face.
I got up off my bed and Alex moved out of the way so Rose could pass him. She ran straight into my arms and I held her as close to me as I possible.
She was safe. She was here, in my arms and for that one second, everything was okay.
"I'll leave you two alone," Alex said and shut the door.
I kissed Rose's head and held her tight. "I was so worried," I whispered to her.
"I know," she said. Her voice was scratchy, as if she had been crying all day. She pulled away from me, looking at me in the eyes. "And I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry that I ran away. I just couldn't deal with...everything."
"Shh...It’s okay," I said. I led her over to my bed and sat down. She sat down only to stand back up and face me head on.
"No it's not," she said. I reached up, trying to wipe her face dry with the sleeve of my sweater. "I shouldn't have done that. I knew you would be worried but I couldn't do it. I couldn't face them anymore."
By "them", I knew exactly who she was talking about. Her cousins, the ones who caused a scene in the Great Hall.
She looked up at me and saw the bruise on my face. Her eyes instantly became worried as she reached out and touched it. "Are you okay?"
"It's fine," I said and grabbed her hand away. "I was too busy worrying about you to even think about that."
She looked down like she was in shame.
“I am so sorry that I left,” she said, her voice quiet. “But I just can’t always deal with things like that head on. There was too much going on and I couldn’t process and I needed to get away.”
I nodded. “I understand. If you need to process everything on your own, that’s fine, but I was so worried about you Rose. If you need to be alone, that’s fine, but you need to at least let me know you were safe. Where even were you?”
“I was in the Room of Requirement,” Rose said. “I just didn’t want to be found. Not until I knew how I felt about this giant secret that I wasn’t even ready to tell my friends about yet was out for the whole world to know about.”
“And?” I asked.
Rose shrugged. “It’s out there. There isn’t much I can do. I just…have to live with the consequences of it.”
“You could always get rid of it,” I said quietly. Even though it wasn’t my first choice and Rose knew that, I also knew that if it was going to make her feel better about the situation, she had every valid right to do so.
“I don’t think that would help at all,” Rose said. “I had been considering it, but it never felt quite right. And now that it’s out…I don’t think it would help. Besides, we still have options.”
I nodded, angry at myself for being happy that getting rid of it was now off the table completely. While I wouldn’t have been angry at Rose for choosing that, I felt awful that my reaction to her deciding not to do it was joy, when she didn’t seem too thrilled either way.
“Yeah, we have options,” I said, though I knew that I only wanted one option.
That was my child. I wanted to raise it. With or without Rose.
“We’re in this together Weasley,” I said softly. Her leaned forward so her head rested against mine. “Everything, from here on out, we’re figuring it out together. It’s you and me against the world.”
She gave me an intense look, clearly absorbing the words I had just said before slowly nodding.
"You and me,” she said softly. Her gaze flickered to my lips and slowly, she leaned forward, pressing her lips to mine.
The room shifted as we kissed, almost as if we both understood that going forward, we needed to be a team. Today had raised the stakes and we could no longer pretend that we weren’t in this situation or that we were just two seventeen year olds dating; we were seventeen year olds, having a baby, trying to navigate that the best that we could, while also trying to figure out what our own relationship was.
Rose pulled away first, taking a deep breath. “I need to tell you something.”
“What?” I asked. I ran my hands up and down her side, trying to comfort her, since whatever she needed to tell me clearly was hurting her.
"Before I came here, I went to my Common Room," she said. Shit. That must not have been good. "Everyone hates me," she whispered. "Audrey is upset with me for not telling her, Lily won't even look at me and Al..." New tears started forming. "Al said he wanted nothing to do with me. He's like my brother and he wants nothing to do with me." She thought for a moment. "I don't even know if Hugo is still speaking to me now that the world knows."
It was taking every form of restraint to not go up to the Gryffindor Common Room and beat the shit out of Potter. How could he do that? To his own cousin? It was clear to everyone that Rose and Albus were close, to where many people forgot they weren’t siblings.
"Rose," I said, wiping the few tears that had fallen from her eyes. "They're all upset. I'm sure that they'll get over it. They're your family, they aren't going to desert you."
"How do you know?" Rose asked me.
"Because your family is weirdly close,” I said, teasing. She gave me an annoyed look, but I could see the smile she was trying to hide. “Besides, I will say just about anything right now to see my girlfriend smile.”
Rose’s eyes widened and she seemed at a loss of words for a few seconds.
"What?" Rose asked once she finally regained her voice. "What did you just call me?"
I frowned, thinking back on what I said, confused as to what would have caused that reaction.
Rose must have seen that I was confused so she answered for me. "You called me your girlfriend."
"Oh," I said, suddenly feeling embarrassed that had slipped out. I had been calling Rose that in my head lately, simply for lack of a better term, but Rose and I hadn’t officially discussed what exactly we were. "I didn't mean to say that. I totally get if you don't want to be my girlfriend."
“It's not that," she said. Oh thank Merlin. So there's a chance she does want to be my girlfriend and I didn't just make a complete idiot out of myself. "It's just...is that what we are? Boyfriend and girlfriend?"
I laced my fingers in hers. "Is that what you want to be? Because I'd be okay with that."
Rose looked down at our hands and smiled. "I'd like that," she looked back into my eyes. "I'd like that a lot."
"Well then, it looks like you got yourself a boyfriend Miss Weasley," I said and I lay down on the bed and pulled her on top of me. "And a mighty fit one too."
She laughed and the way the day had been going, I knew that it was probably the first laugh she had since breakfast. My insides filled at the sound of her laughter, feeling thankful that she wasn’t collapsing under the pressure of what today had thrown at her.
"While I'm glad," she said and rolled off me. She laid beside me and looked at me. "I don't really have a place to stay. I don't want to go back to the Gryffindor tower."
"Do you want to stay here?" I asked and turned onto my side to see her better.
"Would that be okay?" She asked and snuggled into my chest.
"Of course," I said, trying to suppress the huge smile that appeared on my face. "You can stay here for as long as you need."
After a couple of minutes of lying on Scorpius' chest, I fell fast asleep, feeling very worn from all the crying that I had done that day. I’m pretty sure that Scorpius fell asleep too, since we both jerked up at the sound of his door hitting the wall from being swung open.
"Emily, we shouldn't just barge in," I heard Alex say. I rubbed my eyes and saw that he was holding a tall, dark haired girl back, who, once my eyes stopped being blurry, was Emily Goyle.
"Alex," Emily said. "I think Rose would like to know that her best friend is here in tears."
"What?" I asked tiredly, and got of the bed. "What do you mean my best friend is here in tears?"
I tried to think of reasons as to why Audrey would be here in tears, causing me to move towards Emily and the door.
"Oh," she said. "Alex! Bring her up here. When Alex and I went looking for you, I found her. I figured I would bring her to you, since she was asking about you."
Emily opened the door and I saw Chloe crying into Alex's chest as he hugged her. I was surprised that it didn't seem very awkward at all, but natural almost, for him to comfort her. Emily watched them and tightened her jaw.
"Chloe?" I said, confused as to why she was here and suddenly feeling like a bad friend for immediately assuming that it was Audrey who was here and not her.
At my voice, Chloe immediately detached from Alex, moving towards me before holding me in a tight hug.
"I was so worried Rose," she said. She let go of me. "I was worried throughout the entire day and then I tried to steal the Map to find you and I couldn't get it because Albus was in his room and-" She sniffed. "We broke up. And I was so worried about you. So I just left and started looking. I had no idea where to find you but then I ran into Emily and she brought me here."
“I'm okay," I said. "I'm sorry for running off, I shouldn't have done that. But then I went to the Common Room and that was...bad. So I came here."
“At least you're safe," she said, smiling at Scorpius, who was still looking sleepily confused from where he sat on his bed.
"I'm staying here," I said. "I can't go back to our dorm. I'm staying here for as long as I need to."
“I'll miss you," she said. She looked over at Alex. "Would it be too much to ask if I could stay here to?"
Alex shook his head. "Sure take my bed."
Emily turned to him, confusion on her face.
"Where will you sleep?" Emily asked him.
"Well Chloe and I will share a bed," Alex said and Emily’s confused look was passed over by something else, before she forced a neutral expression onto her face. "I'm kidding Em. I'm going to sleep on the ground."
"Okay," Emily said, though her tone sounded a little more forced than before. "So I guess you both will need some clothes to wear to bed." She waved her wand and soon, pajamas, that were clearly Emily’s based on how long they were, appeared, and she handed them to each of us. “They may be a bit big and sorry about the Quidditch T-Shirts, it’s the only thing I sleep in.”
“Thank you,” Chloe said, walking over to the bathroom to change.
Alex had quickly changed on his bed with the curtains drawn before walking over to Emily.
“Are we still on for me to tutor you tomorrow in Ancient Runes?”
“Yes,” Emily said. “If you’re still free.”
“I should be,” Alex said. “I’ll let you know if something comes up, but I don’t think something will.”
Emily bit her lip and I could tell she wasn’t thrilled that he was being vague about the plans.
“Well, don’t feel pressure,” Emily said. “I can probably figure it out on my own, but I like having you there to help me when I get stuck.”
“I can also help,” I said, surprising myself and them. They looked over at me, almost as if they forgot Scorpius and I were there. “I’m also in Runes with you, so if Alex can’t help I can. I was actually planning on studying Runes tomorrow anyway.”
“Cool,” Alex said. “So between me and Rose, you will definitely have someone to study with tomorrow.”
Emily’s smile faltered and I suddenly wondered if I had butted in where I shouldn’t have.
Chloe then exited the bathroom and started towards Alex’s bed, pulling some blankets off and laying them on the ground. Alex immediately walked over to her to help her, grabbing extra blankets out of his side table, the two of them immediately disagreeing about who was going to sleep on the ground.
I walked over to Emily, my voice quiet. “I don’t have to help you tomorrow if you don’t want. I’m sorry that I butted in, I just wanted to offer to help out if you needed it.”
“You’re fine,” Emily said. “Thank you so much for offering. I may need you to help me. Sometimes Alex gets…” Her eyes flicked over to where Alex and Chloe were talking. “Distracted. And he forgets that I am not as good at Runes as he is and forgets about meeting me.”
She watched them for a few more seconds.
“Em,” Scorpius said, causing her to gaze over my head at him. I don’t know what he did, but she immediately frowned at him.
“Well, I’m going to go,” Emily said, with a sigh. “Night everyone.”
Everyone said they’re goodnights to Emily before she left, but the avoidance of looking at Alex and Chloe told me she wasn’t just leaving because she was tired.
I walked back towards Scorpius and where he lay in bed, still half asleep, changing into the pajamas Emily had given me, before crawling into bed next to him and drifting off to sleep, Alex and Chloe’s bickering about who gets the bed acting as my lullaby.
The next morning, I woke up from a dreamless sleep. Scorpius was still fast asleep, as was the rest of the dorm. I worked my way out of Scorpius' grasp and headed over to the bathroom. I rubbed my eyes as I walked, trying to wake up, noticing that Alex’s curtains weren’t drawn around his bed. My curiosity got the better of me and I looked to see who had won their bickering match as to where they would sleep.
At the sight, I was suddenly, wide awake.
I wasn't sure who had won. But I was betting that the fact that they both were in Alex’s bed was the compromise they came up with.
Alex was lying in his bed on his side, and Chloe was right against his chest, spooning him. His arm was over her torso and their hands were laced together.
Even though I knew that Chloe and Al had just broken up the day before, I couldn’t help but wonder if sleeping next to each other was all that happened between Alex and Chloe last night.
I went to the bathroom, washing my face and debating whether or not to wake Scorpius up to go to breakfast or go by myself. However, considering yesterday and how worried I could tell Scorpius was, I knew that not telling him could potentially send him into a panic again.
I walked back to Scorpius, sitting down next to him and shaking him awake lightly.
His eyes opened, seeing me, before he reached his arms over his head, groaning slightly.
"Hi," he said, groggily.
"Hi," I said. I moved some hair out of his face.
"Ready for today?" he asked me quietly.
I shook my head, sighing. "I don't want to go."
My anxiety had been active as soon as I woke up, but waking Scorpius up had added even more. Almost as if by waking him up, my anxiety was remembering all the people I would have to face today.
"Then don't," he said. "Maybe we'll both skip today."
"I can't skip anymore," I said, shaking my head. "One day is already too much. Between N.E.W.T.S. and Healing School, I can’t risk missing more information.”
Scorpius nodded. “Okay.”
"I would like to get an early breakfast if that's okay," I said. "I need to go talk to professors about missing yesterday.”
"Alright," he said. “Let me shower and then I can come with you.”
“Okay,” I said, smiling.
Scorpius walked towards the bathroom and I pulled the curtains around his bed, changing into my robes. I tried making his bed quietly, trying not to wake anyone else up.
An alarm clock next to someone's - I think it was Avery's - bed went off, telling me that it was 7:15.
"Turn it off, Rose," Chloe said, pulling Alex's arm tighter around her. Clearly she thought that she was still in our dorm. "Stop waking up so early."
"Avery, turn that fucking alarm off some of us are trying to sleep," Alex said, nuzzling his face in Chloe's hair.
Clearly, they both didn't seem fazed by any of their actions.
Avery turned off his alarm but didn't get out of bed. The room was once again silent besides Scorpius’s shower running.
Scorpius came out of the bathroom with his pants and shirt on, his hair wet.
He glanced over at Alex’s bed, doing a double take when he realized the position that Alex and Chloe were in. "How'd that happen?"
"I have no idea," I said to him. Scorpius grabbed his book bag from under his bed and I grabbed mine from next to his night stand. "Ready?"
"Yeah," he said, still looking at Chloe and Alex. "Should we wake them up?"
"I don't know," I said. "They look rather peaceful."
"Yeah," Scorpius said. "But I don't want Emily to see-"
"OI, ARSEHOLES GET OUT OF BED!" Emily's voice rang through the room as she walked in the door. "Scorpius, Rose," she said, nodding at us before walking over to Avery's bed. "Avery, their serving pancakes today at breakfast!"
Avery shot up out of his bed. "I'm up! Give me like five minutes."
Emily laughed and rolled her eyes and woke the other blokes up before going over to Alex's bed.
"Oi, Alex, get up!" Emily yelled. She walked around the bed so that she could see his face. Which meant that she could see Chloe. "Come on we don't have all-oh."
She took in the sight of them, Alex's face pressed into Chloe's hair, his arm wrapped around Chloe's waist and how their fingers were laced together. A look of hurt passed through her eyes.
"Alex," she said. "Wake up."
"Go away," Alex mumbled and pressed himself further into Chloe's back.
"Can everyone just be quiet?" Chloe said, still half asleep.
"Alex," Emily said, her voice more firm this time. “Wake up.”
Alex, clearly annoyed opened his eyes, and took in the position he was in. He looked at Chloe and then looked back at Emily, who was standing there with a hurt look on her face. Chloe had woken up too and appeared to be frozen in place.
"Shit," they said at the same time. They both scrambled to get as far away from the other one as they could, causing Alex to fall off the bed.
"Sleep nice?" Emily asked bitterly.
"Em, let me explain," Alex said.
"Why?" Emily said, giving him a hard look. "We're not together. Hell, I don't even like you like that. Feel free to fuck whoever you like."
"We didn't have sex," Chloe said defensively.
"Whatever," Emily said coldly. "I'm sure your boyfriend would love this."
"I don't have a boyfriend," Chloe said, tears filling her eyes. "We broke up."
"Wonder why," Emily muttered.
"Emily," Scorpius said, firmly. "Come with me."
Something about the way Scorpius said that had an effect on Emily and she stopped glaring at Chloe and Alex and looked at Scorpius.
"Fine," she said.
"I'll just be a few minutes," Scorpius said to me, kissing me. "Don't leave without me."
"Okay," I said. I sat down on Scorpius’s bed to wait for him.
Emily and Scorpius left the room, Chloe, Alex and I looking after them.
"So, um," Chloe said awkwardly. "Thanks for letting me stay."
"Yeah," Alex said back, just as awkward. "No problem. Really, anytime."
I frowned watching their awkward exchange.
Chloe nodded and grabbed her robes. Alex headed over to the bathroom and he and Chloe reached it at the same time.
"Um, you can, ugh," Alex said. "You can go in first."
"Thank you," she said, a blush coming across her face.
They were acting so awkwardly, it was just like when Audrey and Louis hooked up that one time in fourth year when they could barely look at each other.
My eyes widened at the realization of what happened and the sudden dread I felt regarding it.
Alex turned away from the bathroom door and looked at me. I raised my eyebrow at him expectantly.
"Um, hi?" he said. I gave him the look I gave Hugo when I knew he wasn't telling me something, hoping that he would break as easily as Hugo always did.
Five seconds went by of him avoiding my gaze, which only made me more suspicious. My anxiety, which had already been high because of my own stresses in life, was even higher and had morphed into protective anger at the thought of Chloe potentially hooking up with Alex not even a day after she and Al broke up.
I wasn’t sure who I was feeling more protective of in that moment. Chloe, who was in delicate place, or Al, who would probably be heartbroken upon hearing that Chloe did anything with anyone right after they broke up, but especially Zabini.
"Tell me," I said, my voice firm. "Now."
"Fine." He went over to his bed and sat down. "So we were arguing over who would get to sleep in the bed when suddenly, she started crying. And I went over and hugged her and tried to make her feel better. And then...she kissed me. I don't know why. But she did. And so we kissed for a little while. But that's it. We just fell asleep after."
"That's all that happened?" I asked him, the anger in my voice still obvious. “You swear?”
"Yes," he said, putting his hands up. “I offered to move to the floor and apologized for kissing her, but we ended up falling asleep before either of us could move.”
I nodded. “Okay.”
“So, you aren’t going to kill me?”
"Alex," I said, walking over to sit on his bed next to him. "She just got her heart broken. So please don't play her. Besides, if Al ever finds out about this, he will kill you."
“That’s comforting Rose,” Alex said. “If anything, that’s less comforting. Potter would actually be able to do the job.”
I shrugged. “Shouldn’t have kissed his girlfriend then.”
Alex shook her head, clearly about to make a remark back, but wasn’t able to, due to Scorpius and Emily walking back into the room. At the sight of them, Alex immediately looked worried again, his brows furrowing as he looked at Emily.
Chloe however, walked back into the room them, all changed, hair back in its signature waves and her face lightly made up.
“Is anyone else starving?” she asked.
"Yes," I said, feeling the emptiness in my stomach from not eating yesterday. "No point in stalling it any longer."
I walked over to Scorpius and he grabbed my hand and squeezed it.
"It'll be okay," he whispered to me as we walked behind the rest of the group.
I looked at Emily and Alex, now chatting as if nothing happened this morning, Chloe walking alongside them and joining in occasionally.
"What did you say to Emily?" I asked him.
"Nothing much," he said. "She denied having feelings for Alex so then I told her she shouldn't act like a jealous girlfriend. I was betting on Emily and Alex getting together but now..." He looked at Chloe and Alex, who were now flirting and walking next to each other, the awkwardness of the morning gone. "I'm not so sure."
"It should be an interesting year," I said, taking a deep breath as we reached the Great Hall. As the noises from inside got louder, so did the buzzing inside of my body, my anxiety being too afraid of what is behind the doors.
Scorpius pulled me to a side corridor.
"What are you doing?" I asked him, as he put my back against the wall and stood in front of me.
"I want you to know that whatever happens in there, I will stand by you," Scorpius said, squeezing my hands. "They will probably stare and call you names and I will try not to beat their arses because I will hold your hand through it all. I want you to know that nothing they say is true." He rested his forehead on mine. "I'm in this for the long haul. No matter what happens in there or anywhere else, I promise to protect you and our child."
I felt my face melt at his words, all of my anxiety slowly diminishing as I started at him. I went on my tiptoes and kissed his lips.
"You are the best boyfriend ever," I whispered. I kissed him again, trying to show my gratefulness to him, but knowing that it was not good enough.
"Ready?" Scorpius asked me.
"No," I admitted quietly. "But it doesn't really matter."
Scorpius and I left our hiding spot and entered the Great Hall. Maybe it was just my imagination but the normally noisy room got quiet as we entered. When people saw our hands, they started whispering and when it became clear I wasn't sitting at the Gryffindor table, even more whispers started. We sat down, across from Alex, Emily and Chloe, who seemed to have decided to sit with me instead of everyone else. I saw Albus looking at Chloe with a confused look on his face and when Alex put a hand on her shoulder, the confused look turned into one that could kill. But he never left his seat.
I saw Hugo enter with a group of fifth year boys. He noticed everyone whispering and as he passed Al and Louis, stopped to talk to them. They must have said something about me because Hugo looked over in my direction before turning his gaze back to them. He started getting upset with them, I could tell by his face before he walked off, clearly pissed off.
Hugo came to the Slytherin table and sat beside me.
"Bloody pricks they are," Hugo said, glaring at Albus and Louis. "Thinking they could just abandon you. Well you know what I say Rose? Fuck them. We don't need them."
"Hugo you don't have to sit here," I said to him. I didn't want him ruining his relationship with Albus and Louis because of me. "Go sit with your friends."
"No," Hugo said, defiantly. "You are here. My big sister needs me more than she has ever needed me and I am going to be here whether she accepts it or not." He looked around the hall. "I don't care what anyone else says. Family should always come first. It's taking all my willpower not to drag you home where you're safe and keep you there until the baby is born." He glared back at Albus, Louis and Lily, who had just joined them. "If they knew what family was they'd be over here too, trying to restrain themselves from killing everyone who turned their back on you."
I just stared at Hugo, tears forming in my eyes.
"What?" Hugo asked me. "What happened? Why are you crying? Who do I need to kill?"
"No one," I said, launching my arms around his neck and letting the tears fall. "You don't need to kill anyone, Hugo. You are the best little brother anyone could ever ask for." I used the shoulder of his shirt to dry my eyes. "I love you so much."
"I love you too, Rosie," he said, rubbing my back. "You don't deserve them turning on you."
"It doesn't matter, " I said. "I have you. I thought I might have lost you too and I'm so glad I didn't. I can deal with losing them as long as I don't lose you."
"You're never going to lose me Rose," Hugo said, holding me tighter. "You're my sister. No matter what."
Hugo and I let go of each other and I wiped my eyes. "Sorry about that."
"Pregnancy hormones kicking in?" Emily asked with a smile.
Scorpius put an arm around my waist and kissed my head. "My girlfriend has gone insane."
"So you're no longer just a baby daddy to my sister?" Hugo asked, smirking. "Good."
The rest of breakfast went relatively well. We all talked and ignored the looks and whispers we received. For the first time in a day, I felt like everything was going to be okay.
I knew who I had by my side and I knew they weren't going to leave me.
And I wouldn't have traded that for anything.
Chapter 8: Chapter 8
“You're right, there are a lot of things I would like to do more."
"Alright like what?"
"Like snog with my boyfriend."
"Ew," Hugo said and buried his face in his hands. "That's disgusting. I can't believe you've done that with a boy."
"Hugo, you remember that I'm pregnant right?" I asked him. "Mum and Dad told you were babies come from didn't they?"
Unfortunately, the rest of the day didn't go as well as breakfast did.
While walking to class with Scorpius, people made comments, lots of them. I tried not to let them bother me and for the most part they didn't. I had gotten used to people saying whatever they wanted thanks to the years of the press yelling comments at my family, particularly my parents, especially when there were rumors swirling that things were rocky between them. I asked my mother one time if that bothered her to have people say that stuff to her and she said that it does but that she found ignoring them and tuning them out better and not let it affect her as much. Harry and Ginny would often make jokes about whatever the press yelled at them, but I found my mother’s way of tuning the comments and noise out much easier to deal with. So, as the student body around me whispered and made comments as they passed by me, I instead tuned them out, focusing instead on Scorpius, who did not seem to be taking the comments quiet as well.
Scorpius, who had left breakfast with a smile, was now glaring at everyone who spoke around us, his jaw tight, clearly trying to suppress his anger. I figured that although we had shared the shadow of his parents, he, for the most part, didn’t get much of the fame that I got because of my parents. Scorpius’s parents seemed to try to avoid the limelight, with them being wealthy enough to not work, mainly traveled and did hobbies that kept them in their home, drawing as little attention to themselves and Scorpius as possible.
As we approached Defense class, I pulled to the side of the corridor.
"Scorpius," I said. "Are you okay?”
“Why do people think it’s any of their business to talk about you like that?” Scorpius said, glancing around at the people who were now quickly looking away before meeting his eye.
“Well my family is always in the press,” I shrugged. “For many people I don’t think they think about it. It’s not a big deal. I’m just trying not to let it bother me.”
“Yeah but how?” Scorpius asked. “They are mainly calling you awful names. That doesn’t bother you at all? Because let me tell you that bothers me a lot.”
“Scorp, I can’t change their minds if they think something,” I said. “Besides most of these people don’t know me at all; you just have to focus on the people you care about and not on anyone else.”
“That doesn’t exactly help me because people you care about are being stupid,” Scorpius muttered.
I felt my face fall which caused Scorpius to immediately look guilty.
“Shit, I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean to make you upset. I just meant that I still feel angry for you because the people you care about aren’t exactly being the best to you right now.”
“I know,” I said. “You aren’t wrong. I guess I’m just hoping that if they have time they’ll be able to realize it’s not so bad.”
“Rose,” Scorpius said. “No offense, but Al and Louis hate me. They might not come around simply because it’s me you’re having a baby with.”
“Yeah, well just because they hate you doesn’t mean they need to hate me,” I muttered.
Scorpius opened his mouth, clearly about to respond, but was cut off by Alex’s voice.
"Oi!" Alex yelled. “Are you two going to come to class or just stay there making eyes at each other?”
Chloe, who was next to him, snorted before shaking her head at Alex.
Scorpius sighed, before looking over at Alex.
"You're just jealous," he said, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me into a hug.
"Jealous that you're going to be a father? Nah," Alex said. "Jealous that you're making out with Rose? Maybe a little."
“Merlin Alex,” Emily muttered, clearly suppressing a laugh. Alex smiled over at her.
Scorpius frowned and pulled me tighter to him. "She's mine," he said, kissing my head. I laughed and smiled up at him, resting my chin against his chest.
"And what if she wants to try me out?" Alex said with a cocky smirk, only to receive a hit on the arm by Chloe. "What?"
"That's my best friend!" she said. "And your best friend's girlfriend. I don't want to see you putting the moves on her!"
"I'm sorry babe," Alex said, putting his arm around her. Chloe immediately turned pink and Emily’s smile fell and was replaced with a frown. She quickly looked away from them, down the hall, and raised her eyebrows at whatever she saw.
“Hate to break it to you Alex,” she said. “But I think Potter heard you.”
Alex immediately looked down the hall and removed his arm from Chloe’s shoulder, choosing instead to look at the ceiling when he saw Albus, Louis and Audrey standing at the end of the hall watching us. Chloe took a deep breath as she looked at Al, quietly saying “shit” to herself as she watched Al come closer, looking absolutely murderous.
"Babe?!" Albus said his tone rough and full of anger. He stopped walking down the hall when he was right at Chloe. "What, are you already hooking up with Zabini? That's a downgrade."
"No, I'm not hooking up with Alex," Chloe said back to Albus, matching his tone. "But it's not like it would be any of your business anyway since you broke up with me."
I flinched at both of their harsh voices. I had never seen either of them argue or be angry at each other and seeing it now, all the guilt that I had somehow been able to outrun this morning came flooding back.
"Come on, Aud, let's get to class," Louis said, walking by without even looking at me. Audrey looked in my direction and gave the smallest of smiles.
"I broke up with you for a good reason," Albus said.
"Bullshit," Alex said, coughing into his hand. He got a warning look from Emily, which clearly told him to stay out of it. Alex shrugged as if he had no idea what Emily was talking about.
"And you would know all about our break up, would you Zabini?" Albus said sarcastically, turning to Alex.
"I know that you broke up with her because she didn't tell you Rose was pregnant," Alex said. "That's the biggest dick move I've ever heard."
"Well, it takes a jerk to know one," Albus said, advancing toward Alex.
"Stop it Al," Chloe said, cutting in front of him and putting her hand on his chest. She pulled it away once she realized what she had did and I saw a look of hurt pass through her face as she quietly said, "This is between you and me."
"Yeah, it is," Albus said quietly, looking down at her and even though they were broken up, I could still see the love in his eyes. He looked back up at Alex and said in a stern tone, "It's between Chloe and I, no one else, Zabini."
A stern tone but not a rude one. Al was rarely rude.
"Yeah well she came crying to me last night," Alex said, smirking. I didn't know him well enough, but I'm pretty sure it's safe to say he was trying to piss Al off.
"Alex, stop it," Emily said, giving him a pointed look.
Albus looked over at her as if realizing that this was the first time she was there. "Emily Goyle," he said, nodding.
"Albus Severus Potter," she said smirking at him. "Lovely name you have there."
Al shrugged. “I had no say.”
Chloe watched Al, who was no longer looking at her but instead over her head at Emily. Alex was also looking at Emily with a confused look on his face.
“What a shame,” Emily said. “Because with the middle name of Severus…sounds like you want to sever us.”
Al gave her a disbelieving look, a small smile on his face. “That’s so stupid.”
“Fits your middle name then,” Emily said with a smile.
Al was about to respond, but was cut off when Chloe pushed him in the chest.
“What the hell?” he asked confused.
“Hey, remember me, arsehole?” she said. Her eyes were full of tears. “Remember how you were just yelling at Alex saying you were here because of me and that this was between you and me? And now you’re fucking flirting with someone else? As if I wasn’t even here?”
“No!” Chloe said cutting him off. “You don’t get to do that, you don’t get to act like I meant nothing to you by intentionally flirting with another girl in front of me. That’s not fair Al!”
“Al, I really don’t want to hear if you meant to do it or not,” Chloe said, wiping her face. “Because ultimately, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter if you flirt with another girl because you’re able to. You broke up with me. You-you aren’t mine anymore.”
“Love…” Al said softly. He reached out to her, but she pulled away from him.
“I’m sorry,” she said quietly before quickly walking away from him, clearly wanting nothing else to do with him right now.
I moved to follow after her, but Alex caught my arm.
“You’ll miss class,” he said. “I’ll go after her; I know you don’t want to miss more class.
"That's sweet," I said. "But I need to be there for her. Defense can wait."
Alex nodded and let go of me. Emily grabbed his arm, pulling him into Defense; probably before he did something like go after Al for upsetting Chloe. Scorpius gave me a smile before following them into class.
I turned, ready to go after Chloe, but stopped when I realized Al was still in the hall, looking at the ground with a strange look on his face.
I walked up to him and tentatively touched his shoulder. "Are you okay?"
Albus looked at me. His eyes were guarded and I knew that he was doing that thing where he was trying to show no emotion, trying to act like he was fine. He knew that I knew that was what he was doing too, so he slowly shook his head and then walked into class.
He still hadn't forgiven me.
But the fact that he even acknowledged my presence made me hope that he would soon.
I ran down the hall and turned the corner to see Chloe, sitting on the ground against the wall, hugging her knees tightly as she sobbed.
I sat down next to her and put my hand on her shoulder. "It will be okay," I whispered, soothingly rubbing my hand back and forth.
"But it won't be," she sobbed. "It won't be because I'm numb. I can't feel anything completely and in the rare cases that I do, I only feel sadness. I only feel the constant pain because I have a broken heart." She looked up and took a deep breath. "I'm just a pathetic girl, in love with a boy who doesn't want her.”
"You aren't pathetic," I said quietly. "You just had your first love break up with you. It's only been a day, sweetie."
"But he's doing fine!" Chloe cried. "He's able to flirt and be happy and doesn't even seem to give a shit that he left me completely shattered."
"He's not doing fine," I said. "Even though he hasn't talked to me, I know he's not doing fine."
"And how do you know that?" She asked me. "How could you possibly know that?"
"I know Al," I said. "I know that he loves you. He was upset and maybe he made a rash decision to break up with you, but he still loves you. He nearly bit Alex's head off for calling you babe. Albus freaked out because he assumed you moved on. And just now, I asked him if he was okay and he was doing that thing where he pretends he's fine but he's not. He's not okay. He misses you, I can tell even if he won't admit it."
"I doubt it," Chloe said sadly. "During the past few months, he was off. I don't know what it was but he wasn't himself. He would distance himself and he started saying that he loved me less and less." She rested her head on the wall. "I bet he doesn't even love me anymore."
"I don't think that's true," I said, quietly.
Chloe sighed and I saw tears coming back to her eyes.
"I know," she whispered. "But maybe if I tell myself that I'll stop loving him. I'll stop wanting to believe that there's still hope for us." A tear slid down her cheek. "I love him, Rosie. And a part of me knows that he still loves me because I still see it in him. We didn't fall apart because one of us stopped loving the other. I don't even know why we fell apart. But it’s easier for me to believe that we fell apart because he doesn't love me anymore."
"I don't think that's true," I said quietly. "But if it's what you need to believe then so be it. Just remember that it's only been one day."
"And what a horrible one day it's been," Chloe said and rested her head on my shoulder.
I started tracing the ground with a finger and Chloe was so quiet I had thought she had fallen asleep. I was startled when she whispered to me.
"It'll get easier right?"
I looked at her, her make up running down her face, looking at the wall as if it were the most fascinating thing ever. Her eyes were as hazel as ever, but they now held a sadness that wasn't there before. She just looked so brokenhearted and I wanted to do anything to fix her.
"I don't have any experience," I whispered back. "But it has to, right? Maybe it won't be easier in a week or even a few months, but each day it will get a little bit easier."
Chloe nodded and looked back at her hands.
"I'm going to sound stupid for saying this," she said quietly. "But I feel like I don't know who I am anymore. I don't know what to do when I have free time, I don't know who to talk to about certain things, and I don't even know where to go. Al, he was such a big part of my life and we were together for so long. I did everything with him. He wasn't the center of my world but we did everything together. I never wanted to be like this, one of the girls whose boyfriend was so important to her that when he's gone, she's lost. But it just feels like he took some part of me and I'm never going to get it back. I just don't know who I am."
"I know who you are," I said. "You're Chloe Miller. You are an amazing friend who put her relationship on the line for me. You try your hardest all the time and Merlin knows that you can handle any situation better than me. You'll get through this. I'll be by your side the entire way."
"Rose, you're pregnant," she said. "You can't be worrying about me, hell, I shouldn't even be worrying about me-"
"I'm going to worry about you no matter what you say," I said. "This baby doesn't change our friendship. I'm going to worry about you having a broken heart and you're going to worry about me being pregnant and we're just going to be two best friends constantly worrying about each other. Understand?"
Chloe cracked a small smile. "Your kid isn't going to get away with shit."
"Do you expect Scorpius to discipline a child?" I said, smiling back. "He would spoil his children so much. Someone needs to make sure they stay in line."
"I'm really glad you found him, Rose," she said, quietly. "I don't think anyone could have been more perfect for you."
I looked down at the ground and smiled.
My life was far from perfect right now.
But Scorpius was the only thing that was even close.
"Okay, so Scorp is a Chaser on the team," Alex said as we sat on the Slytherin side of the stands, waiting for the game to start. It was a few days after the explosion and, for the most part, the Slytherin house had become accustomed to having me around. I never went back to my dorm, so Chloe brought most of my clothes down to the dungeons. She had returned to the Gryffindor dorms, since everyone there did not despise her. "And what he is trying to do-"
"I know what he's trying to do," I said. "I grew up with Quidditch. Just because I'm unable to play doesn't mean that I don't understand it."
"Oh," Alex said. "Well then I'll just explain it to Chloe then." He turned to his other side and was about to explain to Chloe when she cut him off.
"I dated the Captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team for two years," she said. "I think I understand the game."
"Right," Alex said. "I forgot that Potter was the Seeker."
"A damn good one too," Chloe said. "It will be interesting to see how Emily does."
"It's only her first year," Alex said. "But man, she's a good Seeker."
"What's going on with you two, anyway?" I asked him.
"What do you mean?" he asked me, looking out at the field.
I raised my eyebrows at him. "You know what I mean, Alex. What is going on with you and Emily?"
"Nothing, we're friends," Alex said, shrugging.
"I got a different impression," I said to him. "Seems like you like her."
"Is Scorpius telling you that?" Alex asked me. "Because that's bullshit. Besides, after sharing a bed with Chloe, I'm more into her now anyway." He put his arm around Chloe and winked at her.
She laughed and pushed his arm off of her. "Right. You're safer liking Emily, since she actually seems to like you back."
"What?" Alex said, his cool facade suddenly gone. "You think that she could like me?"
"And you say you don't like her," Chloe said before standing up with the rest of the Slytherin crowd to cheer as the players came out.
“No, seriously, do you think she likes me?" Alex asked me, his eyes wide.
I rolled my eyes and stood up, pulling my jacket closer around me. It was a typical late November/early December day, in Scotland, snow on the field and freezing cold weather.
Alex stood up. "You guys can't do that to me, you know! If you think she could like me then you should tell me. Not because I like her, though. Just so I know."
"Just shut up and cheer for your girlfriend," Chloe said and I saw Alex's cheeks turn pink.
I looked down at the field and saw Scorpius shaking hands with the Ravenclaw captain before getting on his broom. I felt a bit of fear fly up in my stomach, almost as if the baby shared my same anxiety over the sport.
Part of the reason I didn't play Quidditch was because when I was about 8 or so, I saw my dad's old friend, Oliver Wood, get hurt while playing. He fell from about 80 feet up in the air and landed on the ground, not moving. I was really scared because I thought he had died. He just lay on the ground, his limbs in weird directions, unconscious. It scared me and every time I saw someone I cared about playing Quidditch, I saw them, lying on the ground in the same position.
I prayed to Merlin that Scorpius would be okay.
Of course, he was. But every time that he whizzed through the players or a bludger nearly hit him, I couldn't help but picture him, lying on the ground, dead.
It was rather terrifying.
"And Scorpius Malfoy, races down the field toward the Ravenclaw goals," the announcer said. "You would never guess that he has such a bad personal life right now. I mean, he's going to be a father and to Rose Weasley's baby too. That can't be easy."
"You've got to be kidding me," Alex said. "TALK ABOUT THE FUCKING GAME, DIMWIT. THIS ISN'T SOME GOSSIP SHOW."
"And Rose Weasley's having a rough time too. I mean, her entire family isn't talking to her, hell most people aren't. The only people who seem to have accepted her have been the Slytherins. Never would have seen her there. Oh well, I guess that there was nowhere else to go for her but the evil guys."
At them mention of my family, I automatically looked the Gryffindor stands, wondering if they were here. I couldn't see them, so I had no idea but I knew that it was probably safe to bet that they were.
The Slytherin students around me were infuriated, yelling profanities at the announcer for calling them evil.
"Don't listen to this asshole," a voice said from behind me. I turned and saw a guy I didn't recognize. "He doesn't know shit. We're not too bad."
"No, you aren't," I said. "I'm Rose."
"I'm Nick Greengrass," he said. "My cousin hasn't found the time to introduce us yet."
"You're Scorp's cousin?" I asked him. He and Scorp looked nothing alike. He had dark hair and dark eyes that contrasted with Scorp's light hair and eyes.
"I see he's talked a lot about me," Nick said, smirking.
Alex turned to look at me and noticed Nick. "Hey Nick. Haven't seen you around much."
"Fifth year is proving to have its challenges," Nick said. “Both academic and in other areas.”
"I bet," Alex said, looking back at the game. "Shit, what is she doing?"
I looked out at the game and saw Emily flying toward the announcer, a look of anger and determination on her face. The announcer was still talking about Scorpius and me and appeared not to realize Emily was heading straight for him.
"I mean, her family won't even talk to her," he said. "They're ashamed to be seen with her, simply because she's pregnant. She just disappointed every single one of them." I winced and tried not to let it affect me.. "She seems like the biggest screw up in that family and that's saying something. I don't blame Louis for saying she's dead to him-"
"WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP?!" Emily yelled as she landed next to him.
Her voice was played through the microphone, so everyone could hear what she was saying. The boy, who was clearly only about a third year, looked up at her, his eyes wide as if he hadn’t expected anything to actually happen when he started talking.
"This is not some fucking gossip show! Talk about the fucking game and not about my best friend's life or his girlfriend's life! You don't know shit about them or their situation or her family, so shut it. Just report the fucking game! Also, don't say anything bad about my house. Because I swear, if you say anything that isn't about the game, I will come up here and kick your ass. I also get the feeling that if you say anything more about Rose, Scorpius will join me." She pointed out to the field where Scorpius was sitting, not too far from me, holding the Quaffle very tightly and looking like he was about to murder the kid. I (somehow) managed to get his attention and told him to calm down. I gave him a thumbs up, telling him that I was fine and he stopped clutching the Quaffle as tightly. "Now, sit your ass down and report the game. You already don’t do a good job at that, so you might want to practice instead of gossiping."
Then she got on her broom and flew away, causing the Slytherins to start cheering.
"Yeah! That's my girl!" Alex yelled, pointing at Emily.
Chloe and I smirked at each other before smirking up at him.
"Yeah that is your girl!" I said, clapping with the rest of the crowd.
"She's totally your girl!" Chloe said as well.
Alex flushed a deep red. "I didn't mean it like that. She's my girl as in, ugh, as in she's my friend who happens to be a girl. But she's just a friend. Who's a girl."
Chloe rolled her eyes. "You two are getting married."
"Alex who are you marrying?" Nick asked from behind me.
"No one," Alex responded.
"He's marrying Emily Goyle," I said to Nick. "And they will be happy together forever."
"I hate you, Rose," Alex said. "I'm going to tell Scorp to dump you."
"He would never do that," I said and hugged Alex. "And I love you."
Alex grudgingly hugged me back. "I guess I love you too."
I smiled into the hug and almost forgot all the things that the announcer said.
Alex gave great hugs.
They weren't Albus' or Louis' hugs, but they were close.
If they didn't want me to be a part of their family anymore, fine. I would just find a new one
And Alex would be my pseudo brother.
Take that, Potter.
"Are you sure you don't want to come to the party?" Scorpius asked Hugo and me in the library that night.
"I don't care, I just don't want her to be alone," Hugo said.
Scorpius looked at me.
"I don't want to be at a Slytherin victory party," I said. "I figure I should let your house have something all to themselves without me crashing it."
"Come on, you know they don't care if you're there," Scorpius said. And it was true, they didn't. Besides if I went, I not only had Scorpius, Alex and Emily to talk to but my new friend Nick as well.
"I know," I said. I walked up to him and put my hands on either side of his face. "I'll be fine. I brought homework and nothing can happen to me because Hugo probably won't let me out of his sight. I'm not going anywhere."
Scorpius still didn't like leaving me on my own for fear I would run off. Unfortunately, Hugo didn't like leaving me on my own either, so I was often babysat by one of them.
I enjoyed when Scorpius watched over me.
Partially because a lot of times, we would end up snogging.
It was just better than hanging out in the library.
I never thought I would say that.
But it was true. If I had been dating Scorpius for most of Hogwarts, my grades would have tanked because I would be too busy making out with him to do anything else.
Scorpius sighed. "I'll be back in an hour."
"Stay for as long as you want to," I said. "I'll just be here."
"Good," Scorpius said and leaned down to kiss me. He started to pull away but I pushed my lips against his and started kissing him more deeply.
Merlin, his kisses were intoxicating.
"Um, guys," Hugo said and Scorpius quickly pulled away from me, a blush on his face. I couldn't help but frown a little. "I'm still here."
"I'm sorry," Scorpius said to Hugo.
"I'm not," I grumbled and Scorpius laughed.
Scorpius kissed me on the forehead. "I'll be back in an hour." He walked away from me. "Bye Hugo."
I turned back toward Hugo and saw him looking at me with a disgusted look on his face.
"Please never make out with your boyfriend in front of me again please," he said. "It was very disturbing."
I smiled at him and sat down. "Sorry." I opened my book and Hugo groaned.
"You're actually going to study?" Hugo asked me. "Can't we talk or something?"
"Well, what do you want to talk about?" I asked him.
"I don't know."
"Oh well that's helpful."
"Well what do you want to talk about, Miss High and Mighty?"
"You're the one that wanted to talk!"
"Yes and you are the smarter one so you should come up with something for us to talk about!"
"Hugo, I wanted to study."
"Studying is boring."
“You're right, there are a lot of things I would like to do more."
"Alright like what?"
"Like snog with my boyfriend."
"Ew," Hugo said and buried his face in his hands. "That's disgusting. I can't believe you've done that with a boy."
"Hugo, you remember that I'm pregnant right?" I asked him. "Mum and Dad told you were babies come from didn't they?"
"Rose, I refuse to think of you and Malfoy doing...that."
"Wow you're so mature, Hugo."
"Shut up, Rose."
"No you shut up."
"And I'm the immature one?"
"I never claimed I wasn't immature."
Hugo and I stopped our never ending sibling banter to look up at the new person who had joined us in the library. I felt a knot in my stomach at the sight of Lily.
"Hey Lils," Hugo said, nodding in her direction.
Lily looked nervously at me. "Hi Rose."
"Um, hi Lily," I said, my voice guarded.
It wasn't that I wasn't happy to see her. I was ecstatic to see her, especially since she was talking to me. She wasn't treating me like I was invisible like she had for the past few days. While Lily and I wouldn’t often spend time together at Hogwarts, the past few days she had been ignoring me completely, treating me like I wasn’t even there.
And now she was here, looking at me, her nervousness obvious.
"Rose, I'm so sorry," she said and her eyes started filling up with tears. "I'm such a horrible person. I don't know why I would treat you that way, it was horrible of me. You're one of my best friends and you're much more of a sister to me than a cousin. What the announcer said today wasn't true, I'm not ashamed of you. If anything I'm so proud of you. You are so strong, going through all this and you have almost no one since all of us turned our backs on you. I'm so sorry for that. I understand if you never want to speak to me again but I really miss you Rose and-"
"Lily!" I said, surprising myself with how loud I was. "I forgive you!"
"You do?" Lily asked me.
“Yeah," I said. I stood up and hugged her. "I've missed you."
"I've missed you too," Lily said, hugging me back. "I'm so sorry."
"It's okay, at least you came around," I said, thinking of Al and Louis.
"They'll come around," Lily said facing me. "No matter what either of them says, they love you. They were going crazy at the game today. Louis almost killed the announcer himself. They miss you, Rosie. Al's having a hard time with the break up, but he won't talk to anyone about it. They both need you."
"I know," I said. "But they're the ones who need to forgive me and I'm fine with waiting for them to."
Lily nodded and looked at Hugo. "Does this mean we're back to normal? I don't like only getting small talk from you."
Hugo smiled and pulled her into a hug. "Yeah, we're back to normal."
"Good," Lily said. She was about to continue speaking but another voice spoke first.
"So I was thinking that maybe you could help me out here, Scorp, please? Come on cousins help each other out with this sort of thing. It would be much easy for you to talk to her and maybe she can talk to-" Nick stopped talking as soon as Hugo, Lily and I came into view. His face paled slightly and he gulped. "Hey Rose, Hugo." He looked at Lily uneasily. "Lola."
"It's Lily," Lily said, clearly annoyed. "My name has always been Lily."
"...Right," Nick said, looking slightly nervous. "I knew that."
Lily rolled her eyes and looked at Scorpius, who was standing next to Nick. "I don't think we've officially met. I'm Lily Potter."
"Scorpius Malfoy," he said, shaking her hand.
"So you're dating my cousin?" Lily asked him and he nodded. "I'm not going to give you a huge list of rules you need to follow; Al can do that whenever he gets his act together. But treat my cousin right, or I swear I'll be your biggest worry."
"Alright," Scorpius said. "I'll treat her right."
"Good," Lily said and turned toward me, puling me into a hug. "Night Rose Bud. I've missed you."
"Night Lily Pad," I said back, squeezing her before handing her off to Hugo to say goodnight.
"You coming back up to the Gryffindor common room?" she asked him.
"Yeah, I'll walk with you," Hugo said, before hugging me and kissing my head. "See you tomorrow Rose. I'll eat breakfast with you and Scorp."
"Good," I said. "I've missed you over there.”
"Is it okay if I come to?" Lily asked and I smiled and nodded at her.
"Nick why don't you come to?" I asked him and I saw Lily's face deflate a bit.
"Um, yeah, sure sounds great," he said, his face flushing slightly.
"Come on Lils we better go," Hugo said. "Bye Scorp, Nick."
"See you tomorrow!" Lily said.
"Bye guys," Scorpius said.
"Bye Lily," Nick said, awkwardly scratching his neck. "Bye Hugo."
They walked out of the library and Nick turned toward Scorpius. "I told you I wasn't lying!”
"Lying about what?" I asked him.
Scorpius clamped Nick on the shoulder. "Dude, even I can't help you there."
"Um does someone want to clue me in?" I asked.
Scorpius smiled and put an arm around my shoulders. "You don't even want to know."
Thank you for reading! For those who celebrate Christmas, Merry Christmas!!! Happy holidays to all!
Chapter 9: Chapter 9
Nick helped me sort through all the letters and I was right; only seven of them were from my family.
Which meant that thirteen were from random strangers.
The next two weeks lagged on without much incident, for which I was incredibly grateful. People still whispered and watched me when I walked by, but nothing overly exciting happened and I had gone back to not having all attention on me at all times, which I was incredibly grateful for. There were two more days left until Christmas break and I was desperately looking forward to going home, especially since Scorpius would be coming home with me as well.
One morning, as I ate alone at the Slytherin table, Nick sat down in the seat across from me in the Great Hall and started piling food onto his plate.
"Where's your posse?" he asked me.
I swallowed my food before speaking. "Scorpius and Emily had practice, Alex wanted to sleep, and Hugo and Chloe are in the Gryffindor dorms."
"What about Lily?" he said as he ate some hash browns.
"She's in the Gryffindor dorms too," I said and looked toward the entrance. "Not many people like getting up at 7:30 in the morning on a Saturday."
I looked around the room at the few people who occupied each of the tables. There were only a few other people sitting at the Slytherin table yet they kept their distance from me. Although they had accepted that I was always in their common room and at their table, none of them besides Scorpius, Alex, Emily and Nick really went out of their way to make me feel welcome.
"Do you miss it?" Nick asked, with a nod to the table behind him. "The Gryffindor house?"
"Of course I do," I said, pushing my food around on my plate. "It's been my home for the past six and a half years."
"Why don't you ever go back?"
I looked at him with my eyebrows raised, trying hard not to burst out laughing at his ridiculous question.
"My entire family is ignoring my existence, all my friends are pissed at me, and, for the most part, the entire house calls me horrible names and looks at me like I'm about to give birth at any moment," I said. "Would you want to go back?"
"I guess not," he said, shrugging. "I just don't understand why you getting pregnant is such a big deal to everyone. So you're pregnant with Scorp's baby. Shouldn't they just be supportive of you instead of making this fifty times harder? I mean, it's already hard, you're having a baby at 17 and then you're going to have to deal with all the press and who knows what they've already written about you..."
I stopped listening to him to him as soon as he mentioned the press. With everything going on, I had completely forgotten about them. I was so busy dealing with my family not talking to me, Chloe being heartbroken, and making sure Scorp didn't kill someone that I forgot about the one thing that I had avoided my entire life.
They were probably having a field day with this. I was never in the papers. I never did anything wrong, I never went out with a boy; I purposely made sure I wasn't exciting enough to get into the papers. Even when I made Head Girl, the Prophet only mentioned it in a small article. The press never wanted me because they were too busy seeing if Victoire and Teddy were engaged yet, who Dom was dating now, what was going on with Fred's new branch of Wheeze’s but mainly with whatever scandal James decided to commit this week.
I wasn't interesting. Ever.
"Hey look, the mail's coming in early," Nick said and I saw a swarm of owls come into the Great Hall.
And they were all heading in one direction.
"Oh, come on, did you really need to land on all the food?" Nick whined the birds that landed in front of me.
"Holy shit," I said quietly as I looked at the twenty birds in front of me. I was expecting letters from my family but I knew that this surpassed even my huge family. It had taken my family two weeks to write, so while it was extremely possible that they all decided to write me ten different letters, I knew that it was not likely.
"These can't all be for you can they?" Nick asked me and started taking off some letters.
"Only one way to find out," I said and reached for the letters as well.
And sure enough, all of them were for me. Some were addressed to both Scorpius and I, but for the most part they were all for me.
"Let's sort them," I said and grabbed the letter I knew was Nana's. "If it has an orange stamp like this," I pointed to the stamp on the envelope. "Then it's from my family. If not, put it in a different pile."
Nick helped me sort through all the letters and I was right; only seven of them were from my family.
Which meant that thirteen were from random strangers.
I looked at the random strangers pile and decided that if I wanted to read those, I would read them in private.
The school had seen me cry too much already.
I sighed and picked up a letter from Nana and Grandpa. "Here goes nothing," I said to Nick and opened it.
"You sure you want to read those?" Nick asked me, picking feathers off his food.
"I don't really have a choice," I said, opening the letter. “But I’m just grateful that there isn’t a howler here.”
Your grandfather and I were shocked to hear that you were having a baby! At 17, too. But all the same, we are happy if you are happy. We would like to meet this Scorpius boy, if he has decided to take part in the baby’s life, as soon as possible. Perhaps you should bring him to Christmas? You know we always have room for more here!
Shall I knit you a baby sweater for Christmas? Do you know if it's a boy or a girl yet? Or should I stick with a neutral color?
I cannot wait to see you Rosie! Remember that your grandfather and I love you very much.
I smiled at Nana's letter. I knew that if Nana was upset, she would have just sent me a howler, so I knew that hers would be the safest to read. I handed it to Nick.
"I told you they won't be so bad," I said, picking up another one.
"It's your Nana," Nick said handing the letter back to me. "Of course she's going to love you no matter what."
"Well, hopefully she rubbed off on the rest of my family then," I said and got the four pieces of paper out of the next envelope. They were from Uncle Bill's family: Fleur, Teddy, Victoire and Dom each writing a letter to me.
Fleur and Victoire's were similar; they were both excited and told me not to listen to what anyone said. As long as I was happy, they were too. They said they were sorry about how Louis was treating me and Fleur promised me that she was going to have a stern talk with him when he got home for break. I smiled at that, imagining Fleur scolding Lou in her strong French accent.
Ted's was short and to the point.
Congrats. I'll beat Lou up for you.
Dom's letter though, was very different from all of them and totally typical Dom.
Finally, you're rebelling! I'm so proud of you! I'm glad to see that I wasn't the only one to hook up in Hogwarts. James will be annoyed that you are stealing his limelight but I figure that he can sit this week out. It's Rose's time to shine.
In all seriousness though, I'm proud of you. Not for getting pregnant at 17 but how you're handling it. It seems like you are handling it wonderfully; you aren't being one of those annoying people who constantly put themselves in the press and you aren't hiding away. From what I understand, you are just living your life.
I heard about Lou and Al. I can't believe them. I've probably sent about nineteen letters in the last two weeks to Louis, yelling at him for being such a jackass. I've talked to James and he said that if Al and Lou aren't talking to you at Christmas, he's going to beat them up and then make sure they don't get their presents.
Speaking of Al, is he okay? I know that he isn't talking to you but you always know what he's feeling. I know that his break up with Chloe must have hurt him a lot, especially losing you too. But, by the sound of things it seems like it's mainly his fault for both of those.
Okay, now onto your baby daddy. HE IS FUCKING HOT. I DO NOT BLAME YOU FOR GETTING ON THAT. Seriously. If I were you I wouldn't have been able to control myself either. Hermione told me he's coming for Christmas, and you're lucky he's your boyfriend; otherwise I would be all over that.
You know, if Lysander wasn't there.
Yeah, I forgot to tell you, Ly and I are dating now. He's coming for the holidays. So I guess no hooking up with Malfoy for me...dang.
Just kidding, I wouldn't do that to you.
Witch Weekly has already printed enough about the both of you anyway. Seriously, in two weeks you have made it in that magazine so much that they even made their own "Special Issue" about it.
What has our world come to?
I'm looking forward to seeing you (and the hot bf) during the holidays!
Hugs and kisses (don't you dare roll your eyes Rose),
I stared at the letter, my heart racing.
"Rose?" Nick asked me. "You okay?"
"No," I said quietly. "I'm not okay." I put the two piles of letters together but grabbing the letter I knew was Mum's and putting it in my pocket. "Can you bring these back to the dorms for me?"
"Um, yeah," he said. "Where are you going? Should I get Scorp?"
"No," I said and Nick gave me a hesitant look. "I'm not running away anywhere. I'm going to be safe. I just...there's something I need to do."
Slowly, and very unsurely, Nick nodded his head and let me go.
I stood in the doorway of my dorm room, trying to ignore the fact that I felt like I was walking into enemy territory.
My bed was just as I left it two weeks ago, completely made with my book sitting on the side table.
Audrey and Chloe were both still asleep, and their sides of the room looked the same; Audrey's side was a mess while Chloe's was only cluttered.
I was the neat one in the dorm.
At least, I used to be.
Everything looked exactly the same, even though so much had changed.
I sighed and took a step forward, heading towards Audrey's side of the room. Even though she was a messy person, there was one thing that she always put in the same place, making sure that they stayed in perfect condition.
Her subscription to Witch Weekly.
I went over to her dresser and opened the middle drawer. I peered inside and saw the stack of magazines, my face on the cover of the most recent ones. I grabbed the three that Dom had mentioned, the ones from the past two weeks and the "Special Issue" one.
I sat down on my bed and grabbed the magazine that was published first. The cover was a picture of me, from one of those fancy Ministry events I had to go to way too often, this picture looking like the most recent one they had. Despite it being scotching hot, I had to wear a ball gown with a pick up skirt. It was obvious how uncomfortable I was
The cover said, in big, obnoxious letters: Rose Weasley, 17 and Pregnant.
I gulped, trying to suppress my anxiety, and opened the page.
The first issue was a regular issue, but the story of my pregnancy was its main feature. It was very similar to the Prophet’s story and explained who I was, who my parents were, that I was at school and that there were no details yet, except for the fact that Scorpius was the father.
The second issue was much worse because not only was I the cover story again, but this time it was both Scorpius and I. Someone had leaked details and it explained that we were now dating. The magazine speculated that maybe we were holding a secret relationship, however an anonymous source told them that we barely spoke until Halloween.
It was just assumed that we hooked up randomly then.
I tried to not let it bother me that they made me sound like a total slag.
I was surprised that it included the fact that Louis, Al, Lily and Audrey weren't talking to me. It somehow got the direct quote of Louis saying I was dead to him. The article stated that the only people who were by my side were Scorpius, Hugo and Chloe.
My stomach churned as I saw what the next article was. I was already upset, on the verge of tears, but the next article caused them to brim over.
The article was explaining Chloe and Albus' break up. It said that the reason they broke up was because she knew that I was pregnant and kept it from him.
I couldn't help but read into that to mean that I ruined their relationship. And when I thought about it, I did.
The article had pictures of them together, showing their relationship. There were pictures from their first few dates when they were still nervous around each other and of the first kiss ever caught on camera. Then it went into pictures of them during Hogsmeade days, or days at the beach when we all took our beach vacation two summers ago. And even though Chloe had told me that she and Al were having problems that they hadn’t done anything physical in months, that she felt like he was pulling away, it was still so obvious that they were still in love and weren’t going to end anytime soon.
Until I ruined everything by not telling Al.
I felt my heart break, knowing that I had caused that. It was my fault they broke up.
Chloe was right, they didn't stop loving each other, they didn't stop trying, and they just fell apart. Someone ripped the ground right from under them and turned their whole world around.
And that someone was me.
I looked up at the sound of Audrey's voice and wiped some tears away. Audrey quietly got out of bed, walking towards me to see what I was looking at.
"Hi. Sorry about this," I said, waving my hand over her magazines. "I just...I..."
"I know you aren't used to it," Audrey said, quietly, taking in the magazines with my face all over them. "I know these two weeks have been hard and I'm sure those haven't made it any better."
"It's fine," I said, shrugging. I tried to compose myself. "My life can only go up from here. I mean it's not often someone gets pregnant, stops speaking to her closest family and friends, and break up her cousin's and best friend right?" I let out a small, dry laugh.
Audrey looked at me, her face full of worry. "That's not funny."
"I know," I said. "But I must be the world's biggest fuck up to do all that in a span of week."
"You, Rose Weasley, are anything but a fuck up," Audrey said quietly and sat down next to me. "Yes, you are pregnant. Big whoop. The press will move on to something else next week when they see that this isn't bothering you."
"I still managed to make most of my friends and family hate me," I said, looking up at her. "I made you hate me."
"Rose," she said and pulled me into a hug. It was strange, going from not talking to suddenly having her comfort me. "I don't hate you. I could never hate you. Not after everything you've helped me through." She pulled away. "It wasn't fair of me to do that to you. To abandon you. I realized that once these articles came out. I knew that you were dealing with a lot, but I was...I just felt like shit. And I blamed that on you when really, you probably felt more like shit than I did. And I wasn't there." She was looking down the whole time but she finally looked up and met my eyes. "But I'll be there for as long as you need me from now on. I promise you, I won't leave you ever again. I owe it to you to be there for you."
I smiled through my tears. "I missed you, Aud."
"I missed you too, Rosie," she said quietly. She looked down at the article about Chloe and Al lying on my lap. "Why did this one make you cry?"
I looked over at Chloe, who had to her back to us, still fast asleep. "It's my fault."
"What do you mean?" Audrey asked.
I sighed and wiped some tears away. "It's my fault that they broke up."
Audrey looked at me, confused. "How?"
"Chloe knew I was pregnant and I didn't tell Al or let her tell Al," I said. "If I had told Al before the article came out they would still be together."
"You don't know that," Audrey said, soothingly rubbing my back.
"Look at these pictures," I said, putting the article in her lap. "They're happy. And before that day there wasn't any sign that they were unhappy or heading toward a break up. I had to go get pregnant and ruin everything for them. I ruined their relationship."
"That's not true," Chloe said, slowly turning her towards us in her bed. She stayed under the covers but she looked at me, straight in the eye. "You didn't ruin our relationship. Please don't ever say that again." She got out of the bed and sat on the edge and I saw that she was still wearing Al's old shirt as a PJ shirt. "It is in no way your fault."
"Fine," I said, quietly. "But I still feel guilty about him flirting with Emily in front of you."
Al hadn't talked to Emily since two weeks ago, but that one time was enough for Chloe. She had been slightly colder to Emily since and had taken to avoiding the topic of Al completely.
"Don't be," she said, coming and sitting next to Audrey. "It'd be hypocritical of me to be mad at him anyway."
"Why?" Audrey asked.
"Because I snogged Alex the night before," Chloe said miserably. "And then the next day, when Al was flirting with Emily, I just go so upset and forgot that I did something so much worse." She started picking at the comforter on my bed. "If he ever knew, he'd be so hurt. He'd be pissed off, of course because he's Al, but then he'd be upset at the same time."
"You snogged Alex?" Audrey asked, shocked. "Was it good?"
"Audrey!" I said, hitting her arm since Chloe was on the verge of tears.
Despite her tears, Chloe let out a small laugh. "I was sobbing the entire time because I was too heartbroken over Al. I tried to use Alex to take my mind off of him, but the whole time I was just thinking how it wasn't as good as when Albus kissed me." She wiped a tear. "It was still a good kiss though, just not as good as Al's." Chloe sighed. "Merlin, I miss him."
"If it helps," Audrey said. "He misses you too. He hasn't been himself since you guys broke up. When you aren't here, he holes himself up in his dorm and only comes down when he hears that you're in the Common Room. Then he pretends he's fine, but he's not. Lou is worried about him, losing you and Rose in the same day...it isn't good for Al."
"Yeah, well those were all choices he made," Chloe said. Her voice was sharp, the anger in her voice apparent. "He was the one who ended us. He was the one who said he didn't want to see Rose anymore. He was the one who decided to break my heart."
Audrey put his arm around Chloe's shoulders. "I think you're forgetting that by breaking yours, he ended up breaking his too."
Chloe leaned onto Audrey's shoulder and I grabbed her hand.
"It just hurts," she whispered. "I just feel numb all the time."
"It's like that at first," Audrey said, the only one of us who had ever had experience with a broken heart. "But, after time the numbness goes away."
Chloe nodded. "I just hate that I still love him with my whole heart even though it's completely shattered."
Audrey and I looked at each other, unsure of what to say because we knew that nothing we could say would make her stop loving Al.
The three of us walked out of the dorms and toward the Great Hall, as Chloe and Audrey were hungry since, unlike me, they had not woken up early to eat.
We walked into the Great Hall and I started walking in the direction of the Slytherin table, simply out of habit from the past two weeks. I stopped when I realized that they weren't following me.
"What?" I asked them turning around.
"Do you want to sit there?" Chloe asked. I frowned, confused, before realizing that they hadn’t been sitting with me at the Slytherin table and that it didn't even occur to me that they might not want to sit there or sit at our own house’s table.
"Oh," I said. "I don't mind. We can sit at the Gryffindor table."
I hoped my fear of the Gryffindor table wasn’t obvious.
I started making my way toward the table only to have Audrey grab my arm.
"No," she said. "I want to meet Scorpius properly. And this Alex guy."
"You sure?" I asked her.
I smiled and lead them to the table where Scorpius, Alex and Emily were sitting.
"Hey Scorp," I said, kissing him quickly on the cheek. "I want you to meet my best friend, Audrey."
Scorpius stood up and thrust his hand out. "Scorpius. It's nice to meet you."
Audrey took his hand and shook it. "It's nice to meet you too." She sat down next to me and looked across the table. "I'm going to assume you two are Alex and Emily?"
"You assume right," Emily said, waving. "I'm Emily. This oaf here is Alex."
She elbowed Alex in the side and he smirked over at her.
"You know you love me Ems," he said. "It’s not that hard to figure out that you're in love with me."
He nodded at Audrey.
"So I'm going to assume they have a thing?" Audrey whispered in my ear.
"If by thing you mean that they're both in love with the other but don't do anything about it, then you would be right."
Audrey smiled and looked over at Chloe who was laughing at Alex and Emily bickering.
"Emily doesn't know about Chloe does she?" she whispered.
I shook my head. "You and I are the only people who know other than them."
Suddenly, Scorpius's face was right next to mine. "Why are we whispering?"
I smiled and kissed his cheek. "Just girl talk. Go back to eating."
"So demanding," Scorpius said and looked at Alex. "Do you see the abuse I have to deal with?"
Alex shook his head. "This is your punishment for getting her pregnant. Just wait until she gets even bigger, you'll practically be her slave."
"Well, you'll save me right?" Scorpius asked.
"Of course, dude," Alex said. "I need a wingman to get all the chicks."
"What chicks?" Emily asked him. "I haven't seen a single girl flirt with you this year."
"That's because they all know my heart belongs to you," Alex said, putting his hands over his heart. "They know they don't stand a chance."
I share a pointed look with Chloe.
Emily just rolled her eyes, but I saw a blush creep up her cheeks.
"What are you guys doing the rest of the day?" Audrey asked.
"I'm-" I started.
"Going to the library and studying," everyone said.
"No," I said and I received shocked glances. "Well, I am going to the library. But only because the librarian got some pregnancy books in for me."
"The joys of being the daughter of Ron and Hermione Weasley," Alex said. "I'll go with you. I need to get some books anyway."
"I should go too," Chloe said. "Merlin knows I should pick up a book to help me with my Charms essay."
"Damn, I forgot about that," Emily said. "Looks like I'm joining your little trip."
"What about you two?" I said, looking from Audrey to Scorpius.
"I got plans with Lou," she said. I couldn't help but raise my eyebrows at that. "Not like that, Rose. We're just friends."
"Well Scorp and I weren't even friends and look what happened to us," I said. "Imagine what could happen with you two."
"Until he starts speaking to you, nothing is going to happen," Audrey said. "I can't have a boyfriend who isn't speaking to my best friend."
I smiled at that.
"You seem like you got enough people going with you," Scorpius said. "I'll just meet you in the dorms."
"What?" I asked him and pushed my bottom lip out. "Don't you want to make out in the Restricted Section?"
"As great as that sounds," Scorpius said, leaning his forehead on mine. "I have to figure out new Quidditch plays."
"Ugh, fine," I said, standing up. I kissed Scorpius. "Have fun with your Quidditch plays."
"Have fun with your pregnancy books."
Chloe, Emily and Alex all stood and we made our way to the doors.
"I really wanted Scorpius to come," I said. "I've never snogged in the Restricted Section before."
"It's not all that great," Chloe commented. "Al and I snogged there all the time. It seems great, but you'd be surprised by the amount of people who need books from there."
"Still, it's an experience I'd like to have," I said.
Alex swung his arm around me. "Well, Rosie, I've been told I'm an excellent kisser."
"Too bad Scorp would kill you for even thinking that thought," Emily said as we turned the corner.
As we all came to view of what was in front of us, we all came to a halt. I looked at Chloe and saw her face go from happy to broken in a two second span before looking forward again at one of the last things I wanted to see right now.
Al was snogging some Ravenclaw girl up against a wall.
"10 points from Gryffindor and Ravenclaw for snogging in the hallways," I said quietly and Al and the girl came apart.
Al looked at me first, almost as if he was shocked that I would have ever taken points away from the Gryffindor house. His gaze quickly went over Alex and Emily and his eyes returned to me, before they slid over to Chloe.
Chloe had her head down and I saw that she was taking deep breaths.
I grabbed her hand and started pulling her past them. "Come on, Chloe."
Chloe pulled her hand away and brought her head up to meet Al's gaze. Al's face wasn't angry, or triumphant, but it wasn't impassive either. He looked like he knew he screwed up. The Ravenclaw took one look at Al’s face at Chloe before sighing and walking in the opposite direction, clearly wanting nothing to do with anything that was about to happen.
"Chloe," he said, taking a step towards her. "Clo, I'm sorry."
"Why?" Chloe asked him quietly, copying his movements and getting closer to him, “What do you need to be sorry for?"
"Because of this," Albus said, nodding to the Ravenclaw’s retreating back.
Chloe’s eyes followed his nod, the wheels in her brain clearly turning, before sighing.
"You shouldn't be sorry about kissing another girl," Chloe said quietly, playing with her fingers. She took a deep breath. "Because I kissed Alex."
"What?" Al said, and I saw his face fall. He looked up and glared at Alex, who was awkwardly looking away. "Why?"
Chloe looked down and I saw her face scrunch up as she held the tears back. "Because I was upset over you. But the entire time all I could think about was how it wasn't as good as kissing you, how it should have been you."
"I take offense to that," I heard Alex say and Emily swatted him, glaring at him the whole time. It was very clear that she was not thrilled that they had kissed.
Albus and Chloe stood there for a few seconds, Chloe with her head down, hiding her tears from Albus and Al, watching her.
I could still see the love in his eyes. It was so clear that he wanted nothing more than to take Chloe in his arms and hold her, making sure he never let go. He didn't care that she kissed someone else or that he had just been kissing someone else because all that mattered was them, as a couple. Al couldn't let her go no matter how hard he tried.
But Chloe didn't see that. She saw a boy who no longer loved her, even though loving her was something Al would probably do all his life.
"I'm so in love with you, Al," Chloe said, finally looking up at him. "I'm so in love with you and it's like you don't even care. I made one decision that you didn't agree with and suddenly you decided that it was over for us. You decided that was the final straw. You didn't love me enough to try and understand why I did it and know that I did it with good reason. You should know me well enough by now to know that I never do anything without considering all the options. That wasn't my secret to tell and you should have known that. But you didn't care. You took the opportunity to break up with me because you didn't love me enough."
"That's not true," Al said. "You know that's not true and that's not fair of you to accuse me of it. From the moment I fell in love with you, I never stopped. Don't you dare say that's not true, Chloe."
"But it is true," Chloe said slowly, shaking her head. "It's true because you're so much better than I am. You're Albus Potter, this perfect and wonderful boy who has all of the doors open to him. You don't need me like I need you. I have absolutely no idea what is going on in my life and all I know is that I love you. I know that we have been fighting more and getting on each other's nerves but I love you. I don't know what I want to do in my future or where I want to live or any of that stuff but I knew that if I had you by my side I'd be okay because I love you. I just...I'm in love with you Albus Severus Potter. I'm in love with everything about you, even your wonky middle name."
Chloe stopped talking and started sobbing again. I saw Alex take a small step forward, to try and comfort her, but stopped when he saw Al pull Chloe into his chest. She gave in, balling up his shirt in her fists and started sobbing even more. There was only one place that she knew it was okay to breakdown and I knew that it was with Al. Al held her tightly, rubbing her back and resting his cheek on her head. He kissed her head a few times and kept saying, "It's okay" over and over again.
Anyone could tell that they were still madly in love with each other.
The only person unable to see it was Chloe.
"I don't want to be in love with someone who doesn't love me back," she said into his chest. "It isn't fair."
"But you're not," Al said quietly, rubbing her back and looking like he never wanted this moment to end. "I'm in love with you. I'm so completely in love with you. I can't imagine a day I won't."
"Then why would you break my heart?" she cried, pulling away to look at him in the eyes. I noticed Al's face fell once she pulled away and saw that his hands lingered on her hips, as if he just wanted to pull her back into his grasp and never let her go, never let her get away from him again. "Why would you take my heart and smash it on the ground? I understand that you're upset with me, I really do, but why are you so willing to throw away everything because I didn't tell you something that wasn't my secret to tell?"
"I don't know," Al said quietly. Something in the way he said it made me want to run over and hug him. He sounded so sad. "I'm upset but I still love you. But I don't know if I can forgive you for not telling me."
"So if you won't forgive me, then will you ever forgive Rose?" she asked quietly. Al didn't respond. "She's your best friend, Al. So she slept with Scorpius, so she's pregnant, she's still your best friend. She's your cousin. The cousin you would do anything for and always be there for. She needs you the most right now, Al. I'm doing the best I can but I know it's not enough. Even Hugo isn't enough for her because she has two brothers, not just one. What happened to that guy who would do anything for his family no matter how badly they screwed up?" Chloe took a few steps back. "Because that's the boy I fell in love with. And I don't see him." She took a deep breath. "Maybe I'm just in love with someone who doesn't exist anymore."
With one last glance at Al, she walked in the opposite direction, pushing past Alex as she walked. Alex quickly grabbed Emily’s hand and pulled her along to follow Chloe, Emily giving one, pitying look at Al, before running ahead to catch up with Chloe, who appeared to be heading towards the girl’s bathroom.
Albus stood there for a few seconds, stunned before he reached up and ran his hand through his hair. He took a deep breath and took his eyes away from Chloe. His eyes met mine and I saw the guy Chloe fell in love with.
He was still there.
And his heart was breaking because the only girl he had ever loved was walking away from him.
Even though he would deny this, I knew that he was holding back tears.
And I knew that my heart was breaking with his.
Since my group abandoned me, I ended up going to the library by myself. I got all my books and, not feeling the want to remain in the library reading on pregnancy, I decided to head back to the Slytherin dorms. Scorpius wasn't there when I went down there, so I just sat down on his bed and started reading.
I read for most of the day and neither Alex nor Scorpius came up to the dorm. I was bored at that point, not really feeling like reading books on the wonderful experience birth would be and started wondering where everyone could be. I had no idea where Scorpius or Lily or Hugo were, Audrey was hanging out with Louis, and Chloe dragged Alex and Emily off somewhere, without bringing me along.
She left me awkwardly standing there with my cousin who I wasn't speaking too.
Al, for the most part, didn't even seem to notice my presence as he walked away, his face looking completely heartbroken.
I really wanted to run up and hug him. I was about to, but then I realized I was probably the last person he would want to talk to.
Someone knocked on the door and I frowned, wondering who would have knocked.
I walked over to the door and opened it up to see Nick, standing there with the pile of letters from this morning.
"Hey Rose!" he said. "I kind of forgot to put these up here this morning."
"Oh thanks!" I said, taking them from him. "I forgot about these actually."
"Busy day?" he asked.
"More like emotionally exhausting," I said and smiled at him. "You?"
"Nothing too exciting. I accidently hit Lily with mashed potatoes during lunch," Nick said, looking down almost ashamed. "She was coming over to ask where you were and I was in the middle of a food fight with my buddies and-"
"You hit her with mashed potatoes," I finished for him, imagining that scene in my head. In my head, Lily probably turned red with fury and had steam coming out of her ears. "She must have been pissed."
"Yeah," he said, twitching as he touched his shoulder. "She was. She punches real well."
"That's Lily for ya," I said. "Don't want to mess with her."
Nick nodded. "Does she hate me?"
"I don't think so," I said, giving him a strange look. "Why?"
"She just seems like she does," Nick said, sighing. "Anyway, I got to go. Bye Rose."
"Bye Nick," I said, confused as to why cared what Lily thought of him. As far as I knew, Lily had never really paid attention to Nick before.
That thought of Nick’s sudden interest in Lily’s opinion was quickly forgotten when I looked down at the letters in my hands. I felt anxiety rise up in my throat, one part of me wanting to just throw the letters away, not even daring to look at them, but the other part, the part that one, incredibly curious as to what these people had to say to me.
"Well," I said, sitting back on Scorp's bed. "Here goes nothing."
I opened up all of them, even the ones not from my family. The ones not from my family tended to be mean, criticizing Scorpius and I, calling us spoilt brats and that we weren't ready to bring a baby into the world, but there were a few that were nice. I tried not to let the mean ones bother me and just focused on what my family had to say.
For the most part, they were supportive. The only family that expressed disappointment was Percy's family, but that was not really a surprise. They're all a bunch of sticks in the mud anyway. But even though they were disappointed, they said they still support me.
Many of the letters were the same, especially the parents, but the one that mattered most to me was James's. He was very much a big brother to me and I was glad that he told me he wasn't going anywhere. He said that he'd figure out a way to make sure that the papers get off me and onto him, since he knew I couldn’t have been handling the attention well. He promised me that he was going to beat Lou and Al up and then steal their clothes and make them stay outside, in the snow, until they forgave me.
He said that if the choices were forgiving me or death, they’d pick me.
It wasn't until I read through all the letters that I remembered my parent’s letter was in my jacket pocket. I pulled it out and opened it, recognizing Mum's gentle scrawl immediately.
I hope you are doing well. Your father and I know that this can't be easy for you and he is trying to find a way to make sure the press doesn't violate your privacy. If you want it, he will make sure your name isn't printed ever again in the papers. I don't know how he will do this, but he says that if you wish it he will find a way to do it.
The family sends their love. Hugo owled us and told us what happened at the school, with you not speaking to Al or Lou and how you are now sleeping in the Slytherin dorms. I'm not going to ask where you are sleeping, I'm just going to assume that you are sleeping in the girl's dorm and not in Scorpius's bed.
That's what I'm telling your father anyway.
I figure that you are most likely doing otherwise.
On to happier topics, your dad and I are looking forward to having the three of you back for the holidays! I hope you have informed Scorpius of what it's going to be like, I would hate for him to be blindsided. If you two haven't gotten all of your presents, that's fine we can just go shopping after your doctor's appointment.
I know I should have owled you with this right away, but I figured that putting it at the end of this letter would be better. You have a doctor's appointment during the first week of break. It's all regulatory stuff, seeing how far along you are, making sure you're eating right, all that. But what I think will excite you and Scorpius the most is that you will get to see your baby! And hear its heartbeat. It's a very big moment and your father and I would like to be there, if you two will let us.
I stared at the letter in shock. I was going to get to see my baby. Even though it was only an inch long, I was going to get to see my child.
A wide grin spread across my face.
I needed to find Scorpius.
I ran out of the dorm, looking in the Common Room for him. I didn't see him, Emily or Alex, which disappointed me because I would have liked to share this news with someone.
Scorpius and I were going to see our child.
The thought made me giddy.
I raced out the dorm and decided that I would head towards the Gryffindor Common Room. If I couldn't find any of my Slytherin friends, I was sure I could find my Gryffindor ones and share it with them.
I didn't even care if Audrey was sitting with Louis and Albus, I was going to tell her.
I needed to tell someone.
I needed to squeal and jump around and freak out with somebody about this.
I ran up the steps of the Entrance Hall, still on a high, and instantly wished that I hadn't. I felt like I had been punched in the stomach and all of my happiness was gone as I stared at the scene in front of me.
Scorpius was leaning against a wall, snogging Vanessa Bauer.
I stood there, shocked into silence until I suddenly found my voice. "You arse!"
Scorpius pushed Vanessa away and looked at me with wide eyes. "Rose-"
But I didn't let him finish. I walked up to him, threw the letter at him and ran away as fast as I possibly could.
I ignored his calls as he raced after me and hated that all I wanted to do was hug him so I could feel better.
I kept running, trying to hold back the tears as I did so. I heard echoes of all the reasons why I didn’t want to date because it only lead to pain and wouldn’t be perfect all come back, telling me I had been right all along.
I should have known Scorpius was too good to be true.
I reached the Gryffindor Common Room, the place I ran away from weeks ago, now it was the place I was running to. I shouted the password and ran in, grateful that Scorpius wasn't able to let himself in.
I pushed through the crowded Common Room, keeping my head low, just trying to get to my dorms. I ran into someone and they gripped my shoulders, and I looked up, thinking that maybe it was Hugo. If it was Hugo, I could get one of his hugs and feel secure with the only guy who would never leave me.
But it wasn’t Hugo.
It was Louis.
He looked at me and his eyes filled with anger. But not at me. He was turning into protective Louis, the one who was going to murder Scorpius for making me cry.
"What the hell did he do?" he asked, in a low, scary voice.
"It doesn't matter," I said. I didn't want him to see how pathetic I was. I was 17, I was pregnant and my boyfriend had just cheated on me.
For all I knew, he had always been cheating on me.
"Yes, it does," he said firmly. "Tell me."
"I thought I was dead to you," I said, piercing him right where I knew there was a wound and using it as my opportunity to escape him.
That was what held us apart. He could have forgiven me, but those words held us apart. He needed to apologize for them. He could forgive me, just as I wanted him to, but we would not be back to normal until he apologized for that.
I ran up to my dorm, ignoring the looks I received. I just kept my head down and held my tears in the best I could.
When I got to my dorm, I ran straight towards my bed and started sobbing.
"Rose?" Chloe asked me, standing up off her bed, a worried expression on her face.
I didn't respond, I just kept sobbing. She came over and rubbed me on the back, trying to stay calm but I could hear the worry in her voice.
"He cheated," I said into my bed. "He cheated on me."
Saying the words made me replay the scene in my head. Him kissing her and feeling my heart lurch. Suddenly feeling like I needed to puke that had nothing to do with morning sickness. The taunts of the letters calling me stupid for getting into this situation. My own voice yelling at myself for even bothering to try to have a relationship, for not expecting things to go the way they did, and believing that things would be okay. Scorpius had been so wonderful, I had thought that he was the perfect boyfriend, the perfect partner to have in this situation. Yet I was wrong.
I squeezed my eyes shut, wanting to turn all the pain and voices in my head off. Hurt and shame coursed through me, and as Chloe comforted me, I immediately felt guilty for feeling this way, when it was probably only a fraction of what she felt.
But the anxiety that I had pushed away the past few weeks came back, taunting me, the image of Scorpius kissing Vanessa replaying in my head, my perfect relationship coming crashing down.
Thank you so much for reading! Please let me know what you think!
Chapter 10: Chapter 10
Unfortunately, she wasn't a bloke.
And if she was that would make her constant attempts to hook up with me even more disturbing.
Rose, Alex, Chloe and Emily went off to the library, leaving Audrey and I alone, finishing up our breakfast at the table.
"So you're dating Rose?" Audrey asked.
"Yeah," I said. "For a couple of weeks now."
"Good," she said with a smile. "I'm glad. She's been through a lot of shit lately and it's good to know that you aren't going to run away, even though she has a psychotic family that plots your death every night."
"They don't do that," I said, looking at her in disbelief.
"Al and Louis do every night," Audrey said. "If it were up to Lou you'd be dead by now. Al would let you live for the sake of the baby and Rose but Louis would just kill you. You have me to thank for your life."
"Why would Weasley care?" I said, anger flaring up inside me when I remembered his words to Rose... "Is he forgetting what he said?"
"He was angry," Audrey said quietly, picking at her plate with her fingers. "He didn't mean it-"
"Didn't mean it?" I growled, pounding my fist on the table. "Well why hasn't he apologized to her then?"
"It's a complicated situation-"
"Like hell it is!" I said, turning to face her. "He broke her. She has spent the past two weeks in my dorms because she's too afraid to go up to the Gryffindor Common Room. She spent the first week crying herself to sleep because she couldn't get over it. She couldn't believe her family abandoned her. And I couldn't do anything about it. I wanted to kill him for that but I couldn't because Rose needed me to be there for her because no one else was. She's 17, pregnant and scared as fuck. She needs her family. It's not a complicated situation. Weasley just needs to grow a pair and apologize to her and stop making her life so much more difficult."
I looked back at my plate, suddenly losing my appetite. My blood was boiling as the images of Rose crying in my bed haunted me.
I got out of the bathroom and heard the all too familiar sounds of Rose's sobs. I slowly walked over to my bed and saw her curled up under the covers clutching her stomach.
"Hey," I said, slowly getting into bed. I moved hair out of her face and kissed her temple. "Come here."
Rose hurried onto my chest, holding me close to her. She started sobbing into my shirt and I pulled her close to me, gently brushing more of her auburn hair out of her face. This had become a nightly ritual for us. The only night she didn't cry was the first night when Chloe was down here too. It had been exactly a week but I knew that this wasn't getting easier for her.
"Nothing," she whispered, clutching a handful of my shirt in her chest. "They won't even look at me. None of them will look at me."
I didn't say anything, knowing that Rose probably had more to say.
"Audrey avoids me at all costs, I even slammed my shoulder into her, hoping that she would look at me but she didn't. She was about to say sorry but when she realized it was me, she just walked away. But she's not even the worse. I feel like I have no family. I mean, I have Hugo and Lily but it's not the same. Al and Louis weren't just my family but my best friends as well. I miss them so much. I see them all the time and even make eye contact and, out of habit, will turn to say something to them in class only to remember they don't want me to. That they hate me." She turned her face into my shirt. "I'm dead to them."
"They'll come around," I said. "Just give it time."
Rose looked up at me, her cheeks streaked with tears and her brown eyes red and puffy. "But what if they don't?"
Rose hadn't asked this before. I didn’t think she had ever dared to think it before that moment.
And honestly, I had no fucking clue what to say. All I knew was that my girlfriend was crying, again, because of her asshole cousins. I knew that nothing I could say would make her feel better. I knew that I couldn't go beat them up because it would make her cry even more, even though it'd make me feel a lot better.
I pulled her closer to me and kissed her softly on the lips.
"Then it's their loss," I said, resting my forehead against hers. "They won't get to see the amazing person you are. They won't get to meet the baby and see how, even though you got pregnant at 17, you're an awesome mum. It's their loss Rose, because they're going to miss out on being a part of your life. And I've only been a part of your life for a little while and it's been pretty awesome so far. Now that I'm a part of your life, I know that I don't want to not be. They must feel the same way, since they were a part of your life for a longer time."
She nodded slowly and looked down. I kissed her forehead and squeezed her tightly.
"But they'll come around," I whispered. "I promise."
I shook my head, trying to shake the memory of Rose upset away.
"What's it going to take for them to forgive her?" I asked Audrey. "What more hell does she have to go through? It isn't bad enough that she's pregnant and kicked out of her dorm, she needs to go through more?"
"I don't know," Audrey said quietly.
"Well fuck them both," I said, standing up. "You can tell Weasley that he can only kill me if I don't kill him first."
I left the Slytherin table in a huff and it took all my restraint not to go over to Weasley and kick his ass due to all the anger inside of me, but decided to be productive with it. Instead I walked out of the Great Hall went to the Slytherin Common Room and grabbed all my Quidditch stuff, hoping the anger would make me motivated to create some game winning Quidditch plays.
While snogging in the library sounded fucking fantastic, I knew that I had to focus on Quidditch. I had fallen behind the past few weeks, canceling practices and not coming up with new plays because of the situation with Rose. While the team had understood of the situation with Rose, I knew they were annoyed that I was neglecting my duties.
So when I got to the Quidditch Pitch, I sat down in the stands and started to figure out plays, having everything else fall from my mind.
I was flying around the Pitch, trying to imagine the plays when Emily arrived in the stands.
"OI! MALFOY, GET YOUR ARSE DOWN HERE!" She yelled as she sat down next to my stuff.
I flew over and landed in front of her. "Language, Ems."
"Scorp, arse isn't a swear word," Emily said, looking down at my papers. "New plays?"
I nodded and sat down on the other side of the papers. "Yeah. Trying to make up for slacking off on my captain duties lately."
"You haven't been slacking off," Emily said, setting the newest play down. I gave her a look of disbelief. "Okay, maybe you haven't been on your A game as a captain but everyone on the team understands. Besides, our next match isn't until January, and late January at that. After everything you've gone through in the past few weeks none of us expect you to be completely focused on Quidditch. In fact, everyone thinks that you've been doing great at handling all this."
"I'm canceling practices left and right, I haven't had a new play in weeks, and when we have practice I can barely focus," I said and ran my hands though my hair. "That's not what a good captain does. No matter what shit is going on in his life."
I felt Emily's hand on my back, moving back and forth soothingly. "It'll get easier."
"It's only been a few weeks, Ems," I said, looking at her. "I doubt it will get easier. If anything it will get harder."
Emily sighed and leaned her head on my shoulder. "I'm sorry you're going through all this, Scorp."
"I'm not," I said truthfully, resting my head on top of hers. "If none of this had happened I wouldn't have Rose. Yeah, it's hard and scary but...I don't know. It's worth it because I get her."
Emily smiled. "Not to mention a baby, if you decide to keep it."
"Can I be honest with you?" I asked pulling my head off of hers. She adjusted her head so that she was still resting on my shoulder but was now facing me.
"Course," she said.
"I don't want to give the baby up," I said. "Even if Rose wants to, I don't. I'll take the baby and raise it myself if I have to. But that's my baby. No one else is going to get to raise it."
"Have you told Rose this?" Emily asked me.
I shook my head. "We haven't talked about what to do when the baby is born. We have time but...I don't need to think about my decision. I know what I want to do. I'm raising my child and if Rose wants to be there, then I'll be happy but if not...then I'll do it. By myself."
"Scorp, you wouldn't be alone," Emily said, lifting her head off my shoulder. "You know your parents would support you, your mum loves babies. As long as you didn't just dump the kid on them, they'd be fine having you live with them and babysitting if they need to. They want you to be responsible and if you decide to keep the baby you know they would give their total support as long as you proved to them that you were ready for this."
"Have you been talking to my parents again?" I asked her.
"No, but my mum has," she said, looking at me. "Ever since the story broke she's been owling more; she wanted to make sure you were okay and that you weren't lying to your mum in your letters."
"What did you tell her?" I asked, hoping she didn't mention how badly everyone was treating Rose.
"I told her that you and Rose were both fine," she said and I let out a sigh. "That you were both adjusting but were fine."
"Good," I said and looked out at the Pitch. The sun was setting and I realized how long I had been out here.
Emily eyed me. "You left out how bad things were for Rose, didn't you?"
"I didn't want Mum to worry," I said simply.
Emily nodded, accepting my answer. "Is she still crying herself to sleep?"
"Not the past few nights," I said. "I think that she still is crying but she's hiding it from me."
"Why would she do that?"
"I don't know," I said. I shook my head. "Did you ever think that this is how our seventh year would be?"
"No," Emily said, shaking her head. "I never thought you would be fathering someone's baby, much less Rose Weasley's baby. I mean, I knew you fancied her but I never thought this would have happened. I figured that you would keep denying your feelings by fucking Vanessa Bauer."
I scowled. "Don't remind me of those dark times."
"The sex was that bad, huh?"
"I'd rather not have to think about it."
Emily laughed and then looked at me, a soft smile on her face. "I'm glad that you're dating Rose. I really like her."
"Whoa there," I said. "Sounds like I have some competition for my girlfriend."
"Oh shut the hell up," she said, slapping my arm. "I meant that she's a good person."
"Yeah she is," I said, smiling.
"Please don't fuck this up," Emily said quietly. "I believe that you won't, but I know you. Sometimes- well actually most of the time- you do things without thinking. And I don't want you and Rose to go through what Al and Chloe are going through."
"What do you mean?" I asked, turning to look at her.
"Albus and Chloe are still completely in love with each other," Emily said simply. "Yet they're broken up. So they get jealous when they see the other even talking to a person of the opposite sex and know that each of them has snogged someone else. Or in Chloe's case, actually see them snog someone else."
"Chloe saw Al snogging someone?" I asked.
Emily nodded. "Yeah. She just broke down on him and told her how she's in love with him and how she wishes that he was in love with her too. And then Al went on to say that he was in love with her and it was really quite a touching scene but then somehow Rose came up and it ended with Chloe saying she didn't see the guy she fell in love with anymore because he doesn't exist."
"Harsh," I said.
"Yeah," Emily said. "Al looked like his heart just got broken when she said that." She bit her lip. "Although that might of had something to do with the fact that she also felt the need to tell him she snogged Alex."
I couldn't help but smirk at the jealous tone of her voice when she said that.
"I still can't believe Alex snogged her," Emily went on. "I mean, she just got broken up with by her first love. He's a bastard for making the moves on her. You don't do that. It's just wrong. Not to mention the fact that they've been all buddy-buddy now and Alex is probably just going to end up being a rebound. I mean seriously, whenever Chloe's upset it's like the world stops and Alex just has to be there by her side. I still can't believe he shared a bed with her that first night. I get it, she's attractive and sweet and just so fucking perfect but that doesn't mean that he has a right to-" Emily stopped midsentence when she noticed me smirking at her. "Why are you smirking at me?"
"Admit it," I said.
"Admit what?" Emily asked.
"You know what."
"Oh, Merlin, not this again."
"Come on, Ems. You've clearly fancied the bloke for years. Just admit it."
"Well I have nothing to adm-"
"Emily," I said, looking at her straight in the eye. "It's just me here. I'm not going to run off and tell him and make fun of you. You're my best friend and the fact that you just spent the last three minutes ranting about him and Chloe isn't helping your case here." Emily was silent and looked down at her hands. I bumped her softly with my shoulder. "I can see it just in the way you look at him. You should know me well enough by now to trust me."
Emily took a deep breath, still looking at her hands. "I feel so stupid."
"Because he doesn't fancy me," she said quietly. "He never will. Especially now that we're hanging out with Chloe more. Maybe when it was just the three of us I stood a chance but now..." Emily looked out across the field, avoiding eye contact. "Compare the two of us. You have Chloe, who is this gorgeous, petite girl who isn't afraid to go after what she wants. She's smart and loyal; she put her fucking relationship on the line for her best friend. She wears her heart on her sleeve and when she gets jealous, just tells the guy that she's in love with him. She's one of those fragile girls who doesn't play Quidditch because if she did she might break. She just looks delicate. She wears make up and is cute and is just such...a girl."
"And what are you?" I asked, unable to help myself. "A hippogriff?"
Emily didn't give me her signature death glare and tell me to fuck off like I expected her to. Instead she continued looking out onto the field, avoiding my eye contact all together.
"I may as well be," she said softly. "I'm just...me. I don't wear makeup and I'm tall and lanky and awkward. I play Quidditch and can run more laps around this Pitch than most people. I have a signature death glare that you say could kill. I'm not delicate or fragile or any of those things girls are supposed to be. I'm me. I don't like to cry and force myself not to if I can. When I get jealous, I turn into a bitch and end up being rude to the guy. I swear like a fucking sailor. I go after what I want but only to a certain extent. I hide my heart because I'm afraid to let people in. I'm afraid to let people see me like this."
Emily finally turned and looked at me and I could see that she had tears in her eyes. She was holding them back, doing anything she could to make sure they didn't brim over.
"I act confident and pretend that nothing will hurt me. I'm not afraid to yell at you when you do something stupid. When people insult my friends or family, I yell at them like I did at the Quidditch match. That's not attractive to most guys."
I saw a tear fall down her cheek. Emily quickly wiped it away.
"I'm not pretty. I don't know how to be pretty. You and Alex have both said it many times, I'm just one of the blokes to you. And I don't mind being one of the blokes because let's face it, I am. I have no girl friends. So it's fine to be one of the blokes. Even though I liked Alex it was always fine when he called me a bloke because there wasn't anyone that I was in direct competition with. I was still the girl he hung out with most. I was the girl that his girlfriends were worried about because they thought I might steal him away. There was still a chance that he had feelings for me, especially since he hasn't really seen any girls this year. I liked him for three years and I thought that he could have liked me. But then Chloe came along." She wiped tears from her cheeks. "And let's face it, who would pick the girl who's one of the blokes with a girl like Chloe around?"
I stared at Emily, in awe of what I saw. I had been friends with Emily Goyle my entire life and I had only seen her cry a few times. She was right: she didn't like to cry so she forced herself not to. The girl in front of me, the girl crying over a boy, wasn't a girl that I knew. Emily Goyle never cried, she never seemed sad. She was either happy or glaring. Those were the only two options.
But she was still my best friend, no matter what her emotions were.
I moved all the plays off the bench and pushed myself next to Emily. I wrapped my arm around her and pulled her face to my chest, letting her cry it all out.
"I'd pick you," I said, rubbing her arm and holding her close to me. "Maybe you aren't the girliest girl and yeah, you have a temper and swear a lot. But like you said, you're you. Chloe's great, but she isn't you. Like you said, you're one of the blokes. That's not a bad thing. Do you think Chloe would even try to play all those Muggle sports like you do? Do you think that she would tackle me or Alex because we're playing American Football? No. You're twice the girl she is. You're kind and loyal. You help anyone, no matter what. You aren't afraid to call people out on their shit and you take care of yourself. You're confident as hell, so you don't need all the make up most girls wear because you're your own sort of beautiful. Don't even try denying it Emily. I've known you since we were kids and there wasn't a day where you weren't pretty. And you're right, you aren't delicate or fragile. But that's not a bad thing. It's a good thing because you can take care of yourself. There's no need to worry about you whining because you broke a nail. I'd want that over a girly girl any day."
"Well I'm glad that's what you want," she said, her head resting on my chest. She sniffled and wiped her eyes but didn't try to move from my hug. "But, first of all, you have a girlfriend, who I'm pretty sure falls more in the girly girl category. Second of all, I don't like you like that."
"I know I have a girlfriend and she isn't a girly girl. She's a good middle. But anyway, I know that you don't like me like that. That would be really awkward," I said and I heard Emily let out a small laugh. "But I know Alex. I know him better than anyone. He's dated girls like Chloe, the ones that are girly and wear their hearts on their sleeves. But they never worked out for him. Want to know why? Because he got bored. Some of them were complete ditzes but most of them were nice girls. But in the end, they didn't challenge him. They didn't keep him interested long enough because they didn't push him. They didn't call him out on his shit. He needs someone to do that. He needs someone to tell him when he's gone too far and isn't afraid to piss him off. He needs someone who is willing to fight with him and have huge screaming matches with him. He needs someone who's going to push his buttons and drive him insane. But while he needs to be pushed, he also needs someone that knows when he's upset and that won't give up on him. She has to be able to tease him and have some banter and a sense of humor. He also needs someone that he won't give up on. Someone with layers who isn't afraid to let him in when she needs to. Someone where he can kick some guy's arse if he needs to. But he also wants a girl who is able to take care of herself and doesn't need him saving the day constantly." I frowned. "He needs a lot of things."
"The point is," I said, getting back to my original point before realizing how fucking complex my best mate was. "There has never been a girl who could fill all those things. If they were confident, they were bitches. If they were girly girls, they were weak. I don't think Chloe is weak, but...she's not you. You're the only girl that fits all those things that he needs. You're his perfect girl. He knows it too."
That shouldn't have slipped out.
Alex was going to kill me.
Emily was quiet against my chest, taking it all in. Slowly she pulled away, her dark blue eyes looking up at me.
"How could he know that?" she asked softly.
"Ems," I said, slowly, making sure that I didn't spill anymore of Alex's secrets. "I'm pretty sure everyone knows that."
"You're lying," she said, looking at me in the eye. "Tell me the truth Scorpius."
"Look," I said. "It's not my place to tell. You should talk to him."
"He's with Chloe," she said. "Are you forgetting the whole Albus thing? They're probably still together...probably shagging in some broom closet..."
"Talk to him."
"Why should I listen to you?"
"I just helped you!"
"Talk to him or I will."
Emily gave me her signature death glare and I couldn't help but smirk.
She was back.
"You wouldn't dare," she growled.
"...Fuck. Fine. I'll talk to him."
"Can you bring my stuff down to the dorms?" I asked Emily as we entered the castle. "I'm going to go up to see if Rose is still in the library."
"Sure," she said, grabbing my broom and my papers. She started walking towards the dungeons.
"Ems?" I called to her retreating figure.
"Yeah?" Emily asked, turning back towards me.
"Just talk to him," I said, looking at her at the end of the corridor. "Just take a chance and tell him how you feel. I promise that when you do it will be worth it."
"How do you know?" she asked. "How do you know it will be worth it?"
"I don't," I said honestly. "But I figure that there are only two options that could come of it."
Emily nodded and bit her lip.
"You don't need to tell him today or even tomorrow," I said. "But I think the sooner you tell him, the better."
Emily smiled at me. "Thanks Scorp."
I stood in the Entrance Hall, thinking about how dumb my two best mates were being.
"Merlin," I said, looking up to the sky as if talking to the bloke himself. "Please just let them get their acts together."
"I could say the same about you," a seductive voice said from behind me.
I hated that voice.
"Vanessa," I said, turning towards her. "Haven't seen you around lately."
"Yeah well, you've been busy with your little whore," Vanessa said. I clenched my fist. If she were a bloke I would have punched her and shut her up.
Unfortunately, she wasn't a bloke.
And if she was that would make her constant attempts to sleep with me even more disturbing.
"Watch it, Bauer," I said, walking past her in the direction of the library. "Don't talk about my girlfriend that way."
"Oh Scorp," she said, grabbing my hand and turning me back around. I pulled my hand out of her grip roughly, causing her to pout. "As I recall you don't like having girlfriends."
"As I recall, I only said that because you were the girl wanting to be my girlfriend," I said. "I think you're forgetting that you were only a shag to me."
"So what does she have that I don't?" Vanessa asked. "I'm pretty sure she was just a shag too, or is it because she's pregnant that she's getting special treatment?"
"No she's getting special treatment because I actually have feelings for her," I said, leaning back against the wall so that I could pull off the whole laid back, unpassed persona. "Unlike you."
"Scorp don't you remember all the good times we had together?" Vanessa asked, taking a few steps toward me.
I glared at her, causing her to take a step back. "Good times? Those didn't exist. Like I said, I used you because you were a shag. Not even a good one at that."
"Oh Scorp, you being in denial is so cute," Vanessa said, rubbing my arm, seductively.
I was pretty sure this bint was crazy.
I had insulted her more than I had ever insulted anyone in my life.
And she was still trying to get me to fuck her.
I moved my arm, causing her hand to fall off. "I have to go, my girlfriend is waiting for me."
"Just one more time?" Vanessa asked, cornering me in-between her body and the wall. "Just for old times’ sake."
"No," I said, starting to move. "Absolutely fucking no-"
And then she slammed her lips onto mine.
I could barely react before I heard her voice.
"You arse!" Rose yelled.
I pushed Vanessa away from me and looked at Rose, my eyes wide. "Rose-"
But she just threw a paper at me and started running.
"Shit," I said, grabbing the paper and running after her without a backwards glance at Vanessa.
"Rose!" I yelled, running after her. "Rose, let me explain!"
She didn't listen. She didn't even turn back. She just kept running away from me until she reached the Gryffindor tower.
She was going back there.
She ran away from there to me.
And now she was running away from me back to there.
"Rose!' I said making one last futile attempt before the portrait swung close. "Fuck!"
"Language!" The Fat Lady said.
"Let me in," I said. "Please."
"I can't let you in if you don't know the password, boy," she said.
"Look, I need you to let me in," I said, pleading with her. "Please, just let me in."
"The girl seemed quite upset," The Fat Lady said calmly. "Maybe just give her some time and she'll come to you."
"No!" I said. My heart was racing. I knew that every minute I didn't see Rose was a minute she thought I was cheating on her. I couldn't have her thinking that. I couldn't lose her. "Just let me in, let me make sure-"
"I'm sorry, young man!" She said, firmly. "But if you do not know the password you cannot be let in."
"FUCK!" I yelled. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!"
I ran a hand through my hair and walked a little ways away from the portrait. I needed to figure out what to do. I needed to find some way to get to Rose.
I needed to find a way to make sure that I didn't lose her.
And I was met with a fist to my jaw.
"What the fuck?!" I yelled and saw Louis Weasley standing in front of me and looking furious.
"I don't know what the fuck you did to my cousin," Louis said, his voice low and threatening. "But stay the hell away from her. You've messed up her life enough."
"And you know so much about her life, don't you Weasley?" I asked, my tone matching his. "She's been in my dorm for the past few weeks crying because her cousin said he was dead to her." I advanced on him. "You did more damage than I ever did."
"You fucking arse-"
We both looked over at Audrey who was now standing at the end of the hallway.
"Scorpius? What are you doing?" she said, rushing over to us.
"This arse did something to Rose," Louis said, shooting daggers at me. "She came into the Common Room crying."
Audrey turned at me, her eyes wide. "What did you do?"
"Nothing," I said and glared back at Weasley. "This prick doesn't know what he's talking about. Besides he doesn't have any right to care about her anymore. He's the one who said she was dead to him."
"She's my cousin and if some guy is screwing her over then it's my business, no matter what I said," Louis said, advancing on me.
"Hey! Hey," Audrey said, pushing herself in front of Louis to hold him back. "Calm down Lou."
"Just let me in the Common Room," I begged Audrey, allowing her to see how desperate I was. "Just let me talk to Rose."
Audrey looked at me, pity in her eyes. But then she looked up at Louis who was still glaring at me as if he could kill me with his eyes.
"I don't think that's a good idea," she said quietly. "You should give her time."
I looked at her, suddenly very angry. Angry at her, Weasley, Vanessa, and myself.
"Fuck you," I said and walked away.
My heart was hammering.
There was no way Rose was going to forgive me. Any chance I had with her was gone.
Any chance I had with the baby was gone.
I clenched my fists, feeling the need to punch something to let out all my anger. When I did so, I heard crumpling noise and remembered the paper Rose threw at me.
I pulled the paper and read through it. It was just a letter from her mum. I didn't understand why she threw this at me. If anything this made me madder, because clearly there was a reason she threw this at me. She wanted me to have it.
And then I found the reason.
I know I should have owled you with this right away, but I figured that putting it at the end of this letter would be better. You have a doctor's appointment during the first week of break. It's all regulatory stuff, seeing how far along you are, making sure you're eating right, all that. But what I think will excite you and Scorpius the most is that you will get to see your baby! And hear its heartbeat. It's a very big moment and your father and I would like to be there, if you two will let us.
I read through that paragraph probably four times.
We were going to get to see the baby. We were going to hear its heartbeat.
I slid down against the wall, suddenly unable to stand.
That would probably be the only time I would ever be able to see the baby. And maybe not even then. Rose might tell me to go back to my parents over break.
I lost her.
And by losing her, I lost my child.
All the decisions would be left up to Rose. She'd decide what she would want to do with the baby. She'd decide if she wanted to keep it or give it up for adoption. She wasn’t going to give it to me if she didn’t want it. It was all her decisions of what happened.
But she wouldn't let me back in.
I started hyperventilating.
I lost my child. I was never going to get to see my child or hold it in my arms or have it take its first steps or do any of that typical cliché father stuff.
I needed to get a grip. I knew that I needed to get a grip and spring into action trying to fix this.
But all I felt was a weight and numbness filling me.
I had lost Rose. I had lost the baby.
I lost everything.
"Scorp?" I heard a voice ask and I looked up and saw Emily standing there, a concerned look on her face. When she saw me, she instantly ran to my side and pulled me into her shoulder.
And I started crying. Just like I started crying on my mum's shoulder the day that we told our parents. I couldn't hold it in anymore. It felt like my entire world was crashing down around me.
"I lost her," I said into Emily's hair. "I lost her and the baby. I lost everything."
Emily held me tight, and I heard her whisper, "It's going to be alright, Scorpius. You haven't lost them."
"Yeah, I have," I said. "I fucked up."
"It'll be okay," she said softly, pulling me as close to her as possible. "It'll be okay."
I didn't miss how her voice cracked as she talked.
She was lying.
HAPPY NEW YEAR'S EVE EVERYONE! I hope you have a great night tonight and be safe! Here's to 2019!
Please let me know what you thought!
Chapter 11: Chapter 11
"So she ran off, crying."
"You didn't follow her? Are you an idiot? You always follow the crying girl!"
"So she just showed up crying? Did she say why?"
"No. She just came and lay on the bed, sobbing. All I know is that it had something to do with Scorpius."
"That's what Louis said too. He said she just came into the Common Room sobbing and wouldn't tell him why. He figured Scorpius did something though."
"Well it wasn't too difficult to figure that he did something wrong."
I opened my eyes at the mention of Scorpius and saw Chloe and Audrey, sitting on Chloe's bed. For a minute, I wondered what they were talking about, wondered what they meant.
But then I remembered.
Scorpius was kissing Vanessa.
And the weight in my chest returned.
"Whatever happened, Scorpius feels terrible," Audrey said. "He was begging me to let him into the Common Room so he could talk to her."
Scorpius was outside of the Common Room. He wanted to talk to me, explain why he was kissing Vanessa.
But it was pretty easy to guess why he was kissing her.
He didn't want me.
Or the baby.
He was still the same jerk I once thought he was. He had used me, just like Louis said he used girls.
"Why didn't you let him in?" Chloe asked.
"I figured Rose would need time to deal with whatever happened between them. You know she's not good with confrontation," Audrey said, biting her lip. "And Lou was pretty pissed. He was about to kick Malfoy’s arse."
Chloe nodded as if she understood. But I didn't understand.
"Why would he care?" I asked, sitting up in bed. Audrey and Chloe looked at me, shocked that I was awake. "Why would Louis care? I'm dead to him."
"He cares because you're his cousin," Audrey said. "No matter what he said, you are still his blood. He doesn't want you to be hurt."
"Well he hurt me too," I pointed out.
"He knows that," Audrey said. "But you know he still cares about you."
"Could've fooled me,” I said quietly.
The three of us say in silence for a few seconds. I saw Audrey and Chile giving each other pointed looks in my direction. I looked down at my bed, strangely upset that the sheets were a bold red and not the cool green that was in the Slytherin dorms.
I didn't like waking up alone. I didn't like being back in the dorm I grew up in. I didn't like not having Scorpius by my side, holding me while I slept.
But he didn't want me. He cheated on me.
He didn't want the baby.
Scorpius was the one person who had made this tough situation not seem so bad. He had been so attentive and accepting of me, he had made me feel safe and calm when I didn’t think it was possible. I had thought that natural pull I felt to him on Halloween wasn’t just a fluke, but actually something real.
But I was wrong.
I wondered if this meant that Alex and Emily wouldn't be in my life either. Maybe they were only pretending to like me, like Scorp was.
"Rose?" Audrey asked tentatively. I looked up at her. "Could you tell us what happened?"
I looked at Chloe, who knew what happened. I had managed to say that much before completely sobbing over until I eventually fell asleep. I was slightly shocked that she didn't tell Audrey, hoping that maybe if she told Audrey then I wouldn’t have to.
"I'd rather not talk about it," I said truthfully.
"Okay,” Audrey said. "But of you need to talk, we're here."
"I know," I said, joining them on Chloe's bed.
And I did. I knew that if I needed to talk, they'd be all ears. Chloe knew that he cheated but she knew that I wouldn't be talking. If I could help it, no one would know that he cheated on me. That he didn't want me.
That I really was just meaningless shag.
"Okay," Audrey said, standing up. "Well, I told Lou I'd meet him so that we could go to Hogsmeade for the day."
"You're sneaking out?" Chloe asked.
"I guess," Audrey said, shrugging. "He said he knew a way out of the castle that went straight into Hogsmeade. I figured it'd be better to get him out of the castle so that he doesn't kill Malfoy." Audrey looked at her hands uncomfortably. "I thought that it'd be easier to give you guys a chance to talk without Lou around. I don't know if it will help but...I figured I'd try to help in any way I could to make up for the past few weeks."
"Audrey, I told you that it's fine," I said, waving it off. "Just go on your date."
"It's not a date," Audrey said, putting a scarf around her neck. "He's just my friend."
"Yeah, sure," I said, rolling my eyes.
"I'll see you guys later," Audrey said, walking out the door and rolling her eyes. I laughed slightly, but stopped when I looked at Chloe.
"So do you want to tell me what actually happened last night?" She asked. I casted my eyes downward and didn't say anything. "Rose, you can't just come in here saying that Scorp cheated and then not explain."
I picked at her bed.
"Rose..." Chloe said, sighing. "I'm not going to say that it'll help you to tell me. But I want to understand what even happened. I know I wasn't there for you yesterday after the whole Albus thing but when I last saw you and Scorp at breakfast, you guys were fine. More than fine. You were so happy with him. And then I don't see you all day and suddenly you come in here, sobbing, and saying that he cheated on you. I find that hard to believe because he was so happy with you. I don't think I've ever seen someone that happy for a while. Merlin, just the way he looked at you-"
"Chlo, is there a point?" I interrupted. "I don't mean to be rude but-"
"No, I get it," Chloe said, brushing off my rude interruption. "The point is: Scorpius is crazy about you. Anyone with a pair of eyes can see that the boy thinks you're an angel sent from heaven and that he's constantly falling for you. I've even heard some people betting on when he'll drop the L word."
My head snapped up, shocked. Scorpius wasn't falling in love with me. That was insane.
Yet my heart was pumping harder and faster than it ever had, almost as if I was hoping he was falling in love with me too.
Was...was I falling in love with Scorpius?
"Boys don't just cheat on girls that they are falling in love with," Chloe said, as if saying that word wasn’t a big deal. "Especially someone as loyal as Scorp is. Ever since you found out you were pregnant, the boy has stayed by your side, taken punches for you, didn't kill people who called you a name and basically lived with you."
"But maybe it was too much," I interjected. "Maybe all of that was too much for him."
"I doubt it," Chloe said. “Now can you please just tell me what happened?"
I bit my lip, not wanting to relive last night’s experience. But I knew that the only way to get passed this was to tell her what I saw. To relive the pain, to realize that maybe Scorpius was a better actor than all of us gave him credit for.
I tried to suppress the hope that this was all a big misunderstanding.
So I told her. I told her about the letters and then how I saw him and Vanessa. I started crying, unable to contain it.
I just didn't understand. What did I do wrong? Why didn't he want me anymore? Why wasn't I enough? Why wasn't the baby enough?
Chloe didn't have answers for this and I didn't expect her to. But she told me exactly what I didn't want to hear.
She told me to try talking to him. To find out what actually happened. She said that for all I know, Vanessa kissed him because she’s a psychotic, jealous bitch (Chloe’s words, not mine).
And yes, logically talking to him was what I should have done. And I was planning on doing that.
Until I saw him outside of the Great Hall.
Chloe and I were walking down the steps and of course, he was standing out of the Great Hall, looking over the heads of students, looking for me.
"Talk to him," Chloe said, squeezing my arm and walking away. She gave him a small smile before walking into the Great Hall.
I stood, rooted in my spot, unable to move. I watched Scorpius walk towards me, my heart fluttering and my eyes filling with tears.
All I could see was him with Vanessa. Him snogging her.
No matter how hard I tried to push that image out of my mind, it was all I could see.
And as he got closer to me, the image became harder to push away and I felt more and more tears well up.
I trusted him. He was the one person who made this situation okay. He made me believe I could do this, without my family. He told me that he was going to be there for me, through everything.
"Rose," he said when he reached me. "Can I talk to you?"
I stood there, not looking at him, unsure of what to say.
All I could see was Vanessa, pushing him against the wall and snogging him.
I felt my chest get heavy.
And I felt the tears fall onto my cheeks.
"Rose, please," Scorpius said, more desperately this time. I could tell that he was anxious about this. He needed to speak with me, right away. He stepped closer to me and cupped my face, wiping some tears away. I kept my eyes on the ground, not wanting to meet his. "Please just let me explain. Please just...just look at me."
Slowly, I shook my head. I stepped away from him, letting his hand fall from my face.
"No," I whispered. "No."
"Rose, just let me explain and I promise-"
"No," I said, finally looking up at him. And when I did, I felt like my heart was breaking again. Scorp's eyes were wide with fear, like he thought that I was saying no, I didn't want to talk to him, I didn't want him to explain because it didn't matter to me. I wanted to tell him he was wrong, that I wasn't saying no to him, but to myself. I was telling myself that I couldn't cry that I shouldn't want to hold him and have him wipe away my tears. I shouldn't want to not hear the full story. I was telling myself not to back down, to let Scorpius know that he didn't lose me.
But I couldn't. Every time I opened my mouth, all that came out was "No."
His face fell and he stopped trying to talk to me. Instead he tried grabbing my hand and pulling me toward him, so that he could hold me and wipe away my tears, to do exactly what I wanted.
But I couldn't do that. Some part of me was too upset, too emotional, that I couldn't think straight.
So I went against my own heart.
"No!" I yelled, pulling my arm out of his grasp and pushing him away from me. His face, already so sad, became even more broken, and when he tried to take another step towards me, I took one back, wiping my tears away.
"Please," Scorpius said his voice cracking. "I'll do anything, just please-"
I slapped him before I even knew what I was doing. All I could see was him kissing her and it made me think that this probably wasn’t the first time; he has probably cheated on me multiple times. He was a jerk and he always would be, no matter what.
But even through the hormones and pain, I knew that wasn't true. I knew that he wasn't a jerk. But I wasn’t listening to that part of my brain, the logical part that told me that I was being irrational and immature. I was listening to the emotional side.
And that side was the one that caused me to slap him.
I pulled my hand away from his face and watched his shocked face turn back to me.
"No," I whispered, holding back the sob that threatened to escape. And then I did what I had become awfully good at.
I ran away.
I didn't even hear Scorpius behind me.
I reached the Gryffindor Common Room and ran up the boy’s stairs to the fifth year dorms, looking for Hugo. He wasn't there, but I climbed into his bed anyway, crying into his pillow, until I fell asleep.
I looked up at the ceiling, feeling Emily's soft breaths next to me. She insisted on staying with me through the night, not trusting me to not do something rash and stupid, like break into the Gryffindor dorms and beg for Rose's forgiveness.
Not that I would have done that.
Emily turned toward me, burying her face in the pillow. The moment we went to bed, she fell asleep, while I spent the entire night staring at my ceiling, feeling like the biggest fuck up ever.
I should've kept walking. I should've ignored Vanessa and went to the library or my dorm or anywhere. If I did I wouldn't be in this mess.
I made this mess. I caused this.
I lost her. I lost my baby. I lost everything.
I sighed and put my hands to my face.
I felt hands grab my wrist and pull one hand off of my face.
"Scorp?" Emily said quietly.
I turned my head and looked at her. "Hi."
"Hi," Emily said, releasing her grip on my wrist. "How are you feeling?"
"Like complete and utter shit," I said. "I feel like a piece of shit and like the biggest fuck up ever. I should have left Vanessa. I shouldn't have talked to her. I should've ran faster when chasing Rose. I should've tried harder to get into the Common Room." My voice cracked. "I should've held my ground. I should've-"
"Scorp calm down," Emily said, wrapping an arm around my chest and pulling me close to her. While the gesture was supposed to be comforting, it had the opposite effect. All I could think of was how Rose used to do this exact thing, every night for the past few weeks.
It made me miss her a lot.
"It'll be okay," Emily said, holding my close.
"No it won't," I said, pushing her off me and sitting up. "She won't talk to me. She hates me."
"But she doesn't," Emily said softly. "She could never hate you. You're the father of her baby; you're the guy she turns to for everything. Trust me; the girl...the girl is crazy for you."
I was quiet and looked down at my hands. Emily put a soothing hand on my back.
"Fight for her," Emily whispered. "Make sure that she knows that you didn't kiss Vanessa willing, that Vanessa kissed you. Don't give up on her."
"I'm not giving up on her," I said. "But I think she already gave up on me."
Emily leaned her head against my shoulder. "Well don't let her."
We sat like that for a while; me sitting up and Emily leaning on my shoulder, rubbing my back.
Alex stirred in his bed and Emily snapped her head up, looking at him.
"I-I should probably go," Emily said, getting out of my bed, avoiding looking at Alex's sleeping figure.
"Why?" I asked confused. She was fine two seconds ago. Why was she freaking out because Alex woke up?
"That doesn't sound like Rose's voice," Alex said sleepily.
Emily looked at him and I wasn't be sure, but I could've sworn that her eyes were glistening. She turned away from me.
"I just need to go Scorpius," Emily said softly, walking toward the door and closing it behind her.
"Who was that?" Alex asked, stretching.
"Ems," I said, looking at him.
He stopped stretching for a minute and looked at the door. "Um, why'd she leave?"
I shrugged. "She said she needed to."
"Oh," Alex said. He looked around the room. "Where's Rose?"
"I-I don't know," I said. "I think she's in the Gryffindor Common Room."
Alex frowned. "Why the hell would she be there?" He looked over at me. "What happened?"
"Vanessa fucking Bauer decided to ruin my life," I said. "She snogged me right as Rose walked by."
"Shit," Alex said, leaning back and putting his hands behind his head.
"Yeah," I said. "Now Rose thinks I'm cheating on her and I...I have no idea what that means for me."
"You know what you got to do," Alex said. "You’ve got to fight for her."
"That's exactly what Emily said."
Alex gulped and looked up at the ceiling. "Yeah well she's a smart girl," he said softly.
I looked at him, confused by his tone of voice. He looked thoughtful, almost like he was recalling a memory of something.
In short, he was brooding.
It was clearly something about Emily that made him look that way.
"Are you and Emily okay, dude?" I asked.
"We're fine," Alex said, shrugging. He looked at the clock. "You should probably head down to breakfast so you can meet Rose."
"Right," I said, getting out of bed and grabbing a pair of jeans to change into. "Thanks."
Alex nodded and I left the room, walking towards the Great Hall.
During the walk, I tried to come up with what to say to her. I didn't want to have this conversation in public because, if I could help it, I didn't want this to get out. Rose had dealt with enough; she didn't need any more attention from the press.
I walked into the Great Hall and scanned the tables, looking for any sign of Rose. She wasn't in there, so I figured that I better wait outside. I leaned against the door and watched the stairs, waiting to see her auburn head.
I stood up straight at the sight of red hair bopping up and down as it ran down the stairs, but leaned back in disappointment when I saw it was Lily. She was about to walk into the Great Hall but stopped when she saw me.
"Scorp?" She asked, walking toward me. "What are you doing out here?"
"Waiting for Rose," I said, never taking my eyes off of the stairs.
Lily frowned. "Why? Hasn't she been sleeping with you? I mean, of course she's slept with you, since she's, you know, pregnant, but like...hasn't she been sleeping in your dorm?"
"Yeah but she went back to the Gryffindor Common Room last night," I said.
"Why would she-" Lily appeared to have a sudden realization. She scowled at me. "What the bloody hell did you do?"
"Why does everyone automatically assume I fucked up?" I asked, frowning at her.
Lily raised her eyebrows. "Because I know Rose, and she's absolutely crazy about you. Rose wouldn't leave your side if everything was okay. Especially since Al and Lou still aren't talking to her. So what did you do?"
"Let's just leave it at me just fucked up, okay?" I said, kicking the ground. "But not in the way that Rose seems to think. I just need to explain it all to her."
"She's not going to want to talk to you on her own," Lily said. "She hates confrontation; I would go as far to say that she's scared of it. She would rather avoid the issue then talk about it."
"I know that," I said.
"So it may take a while, but you do need to keep trying. Eventually she’ll listen,” Lily said.
Lily laid a hand on my arm. "She'll come around. No matter what you did, she'll forgive you because you hold her heart. She'll try to avoid you and probably try to take her heart back, but you can't let her. You can't let her take her heart away from you. Just don't give up on her."
"Thanks Lily," I said.
"No problem," she said and looked past me. "Oh Merlin."
I looked over and saw Nick walking towards us, a nervous smile on his face as he glanced at Lily.
Merlin that boy had it bad for her.
"Hey Scorp," Nick said when he reached us. "Lily."
"Nick," Lily said curtly.
"Um, are you guys going in?" Nick asked, nodding to the doors.
"I'm not," I said. "But Lily was about to go in."
I felt Lily glare at me.
Nick smiled. "Well then, I guess we should go in. Are you going to sit at the Slytherin table today?"
"Probably not," Lily said and I saw Nick deflate a little. Lily must have noticed because she sighed and said, "Um, do you want to eat with Hugo and me at the Gryffindor table?"
I could hear the hope that he wouldn't in her voice.
But Nick didn't seem to notice.
"Yeah, that sounds great," Nick said, and I noticed Lily deflate.
"Well, come on then," Lily said, begrudgingly and turned to walk into the Great Hall.
"Thanks dude!" Nick whispered to me. "I don't know what you said, but thanks!"
I didn't have the heart to tell him that I didn't say anything to her and that her opinion of him hadn't changed.
He bounced off after Lily and sat down next to her and across from Hugo, much to Lily's dismay. She tried scooting down away from him, but ended up having to scoot back next to him because the person next to her got mad at her sudden close proximity. Nick was talking to both her and Hugo, but most of his attention was on her.
I stopped watching my cousin and looked back up at the stairs, still searching for Rose.
I saw her and Chloe walking down the stairs. She stopped when she saw me, but Chloe gave her an encouraging smile and squeeze on the arm before walking down the rest of the stairs.
My heart was hammering in my chest.
Chloe smiled at me and whispered, "You got this."
I walked toward Rose and met her at the bottom of the stairs.
"Rose," I said, hoping that my nervousness didn't show through. "Can I talk to you?"
She didn't look at me. Hell she didn't even show any sign that she knew I was there.
And then a tear fell down her cheek.
I started panicking. I couldn't lose her. I couldn't lose the baby.
"Rose, please," I said, hating the desperation in my voice. I didn't know what to do or say to her to make this better. More tears fell down her face and before I could tell myself not to, I stepped closer to her and cupped her face so I could wipe some tears away. But she never looked at me. She kept her eyes firmly on the ground. "Please just let me explain. Please just...just look at me."
She needed to look at me. If she looked at me, then there was still a chance.
But she didn't look at me. She stepped away from me, shaking her head slowly.
"No," she whispered, so quietly that I barely heard her. "No."
My heart was racing and I felt like my entire world was getting away from me.
"Rose, just let me explain and I promise-"
"No," she said, and she finally looked up at me. Her face dropped and I could see the pain in her eyes. I saw how much I hurt her. She just kept saying, "No" over and over again.
And each time she said it, I felt my heart go into overdrive.
She didn't want me to explain.
She didn't even want me to say sorry.
She didn't want me.
I tried to speak, but found that I couldn't. I remembered Lily's words about how she thought Rose wanted me to hold her while she cried and I knew there was nothing more I wanted to do in that moment. She told me that Rose's heart was mine and that she wasn't going to try to take it away from me, but I just had to hold onto her.
So I grabbed her hand and pulled her towards me, trying to fix this mess. I wasn't going to let her walk away. I wasn't going to let her take her heart away from me.
Her heart was mine. Just like mine was hers.
"No!" She yelled, pulling out of my grasp and pushing me away. I tried stepping towards her again, tried to pull her towards me, but she countered it with a step back.
"Please," I said, and I heard my voice crack. "I'll do anything, just please-"
She slapped me across the face before I could even finish.
I looked back at her, shocked, and I saw that she was holding back a giant sob.
And even though I knew that she would slap me again if I tried, I just wanted to hold her until she was okay. Until we were okay.
"No," she whispered, so quietly that I barely heard it.
That's all it took. Her whispering that last, final no to cause me to stand still, unable to move. I felt like that hurt more than the slap. To see her, trying not to cry in front of me and saying no, almost begging me to give up, to let her take her heart away from me.
And she did. She saw the moment of weakness in me and took her heart and walked away from me.
I stared after her, fighting an internal battle with myself to not move or go after her.
I just sat there, watching her take her heart and walk away.
All because of this fucking mess.
"Excuse me; don't you all have somewhere else to be?" I heard Emily's voice say.
"Oi, mind your own business and get the hell out of here," Alex's voice said.
I looked around and saw that there was indeed a crowd around me, all of whom must have been watching the scene between Rose and me.
I felt Emily's hand wrap around mine and tug. "Come on, Scorp."
"I thought we told you lot to get lost?" Alex said to people who were still milling around. He came over to Emily and me. "You okay, mate?"
I didn't respond.
"We should get him out of here," Emily said, squeezing my hand. "Come on." I saw her reach for Alex's hand, so that she could drag him wherever we were going, only to pull back quickly. "Just follow me."
"Okay," Alex said and I saw him looking down at the hand that had reached out towards his before looking away.
"Come on," Emily said again, pulling my hand. I let her pull me away this time and she dragged me down to the dungeons, straight to my dorm.
She sat me down on my bed and stood in front of me, Alex at her side. The looked down at me, both of their faces filled with concern.
They looked like worried parents.
I half expected Alex to put his hand on Emily's shoulder to show that they were a team or something.
He didn't though. He just stood next to her, closer than normal. I could tell Emily felt uncomfortable by this, for whatever reason. She normally didn’t get bothered when Alex stood close to her; in fact, due to her feelings for him, she tends to rather enjoy those moments. But now she stiffened up and took a small step closer to me, putting a tiny distance between her and Alex.
"Are you okay?" Emily asked me softly. When I shook my head, she reached out and grabbed my hand squeezing it tightly. "What do you need me to do?"
"Us," Alex said from behind her. "What do you need us to do?"
I shrugged. "Unless you can convince Rose to talk to me again, to give me the chance to explain...there's really nothing you can do."
Emily looked down at me and bit her lip. "She'll come around. I promise, she'll come around, you just have to keep trying-"
"Ems," Alex interrupted her. Emily looked back at him. "Just let it alone."
"No," she said, letting go of my hand and turning on Alex. "I will not let it alone. He's our best friend. And he's helped me with a lot, and now I'm going to repay him. Even though some of his advice was totally and completely useless, that wasn't his fault."
"You're seriously bringing this up?" Alex asked. "Now?"
"I'm not bringing anything up!" Emily said. "I'm saying that he has been my friend, has given me advice, and while all of it didn't end well, he still tried to help me. And because of that, I'm going to help him."
I looked between them, confused. They were pissed at each other. I had never seen them more pissed off at each other before.
"Really? So you weren't trying to just take a low blow at me?" Alex asked accusingly. "Because it sure seemed like it with your completely useless advice talk."
"Well whose fault is it that it was completely useless?" Emily yelled, suddenly. "Who basically called me an idiot for following Scorp’s advice?"
My eyes widened as I realized what they must have been talking about. Emily told Alex she had feelings for him.
"I didn't call you an idiot!" Alex retorted.
"You may as well have!" Emily yelled. "I put myself on the line, I put our fucking friendship on the line, and you don't even have the decency to let me down easily. You had to be such a fucking douchebag about it, acting like it was completely my fault. Well here's some news for you, arsehole, you can't help who you fall for! And maybe you're right; maybe I am a complete idiot for falling for you."
Emily turned back to me and I saw that she was holding back tears, pretending to be the tough, take-no-shit girl that everyone believed she was.
"I'm sorry Scorp," Emily said, coming and kissing my cheek. "I can't be here anymore. If you need me, you know where to find me."
Emily walked away from me, keeping her eyes on the ground the entire time. She was almost at the door when Alex called for her.
"Emily," Alex said, but Emily didn't let him finish.
"Tell Chloe I say hello," she said, gripping the door handle and looking straight into Alex's eyes. "You know, since you said that it'd be easier for you to have feelings for her."
"Ems, I didn't mean-"
But he didn't get to finish because Emily walked out the door.
There was a stony silence in the dorm, Alex staring at the door and me staring at Alex.
"What the fuck," I said, breaking the silence, "did you do?"
Alex turned back to me. "I fucked up."
"Clearly," I said. "From what I gather, she took my advice and told you how she felt, and you responded by saying she was an idiot."
"Basically what happened," Alex said, walking over and lying on his bed. "Last night, she came up and told me that she needed to talk to me so we went on a walk and were talking about random things before she came out and told me she fancied me. I was a little freaked out by that and may have blamed it on her, saying that she shouldn't have fallen for me, she should've stopped herself. And then...she started crying. I mean, she tried to walk away from me but I saw that she was crying." Alex was quiet. "She's never cried in front of me before. That's when I knew that she really liked me. I knew that she must really fancy me if what I said could make her cry.”
I looked at the ceiling, trying to sort it out.
Emily told Alex that she had feelings for him and Alex freaked and said she shouldn’t, that she was dumb to.
But he had feelings for her.
Which was what made this whole thing really confusing.
"Here's what I don't get," I said. "Why would you screw this up when you fancy her just as much as she fancies you?"
"Because I'm a complete fuckhead," Alex said. "I screw up my chance with the girl I've liked for ages all because I'm too fucking scared to let my pride go and admit it to her." Alex pulled open his bedside drawer and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. "I fucking stopped smoking because she said it disgusted her. I was able to stop smoking, cold turkey, but I wasn't able to tell her that I felt the exact same." He threw the pack across the room and it hit the wall behind Avery's bed and fell behind the headrest. "Emily deserves someone better than me. Someone who isn't afraid to tell her how amazing she is and doesn't say fucked up things; like that they could have feelings for some other girl easier than they could for her."
"Mate, why would you bring Chloe into this?" I asked. "You should know that's a soft spot for Emily. Hell, that'd be a soft spot for any girl with feelings for you."
"I know, but for the record, I didn't bring Chloe into it," Alex said. "Emily did. She accused me of having feelings for Chloe and I may not have denied it, partly because I was in shock that this entire thing was happening. So she just assumed and then ran off, crying."
"You didn't follow her?" I asked. "Are you a bloody idiot? You always follow the crying girl!"
"I followed her! Trust me, even I'm not that much of an idiot," Alex said. "But when I found her, she was with you, crying. I assumed that she told you everything and that I should leave you guys alone, partly because I figured you would want to kill me, but now I'm guessing that part of it was because of all your issues."
"Yeah," I said, remembering how Emily's voice cracked yesterday. I thought it was because she was upset about my problems, I didn't even think that she was having her own. "Probably."
We both sat in silence unsure of what to say.
"We both totally fucked up didn't we?" I asked Alex.
Alex nodded. "We fucked up big time."
"Well at least we fucked up at the same time."
"Not the normal thing to be happy about."
"Oh trust me, I'm not happy about that. I'd much rather you fuck up all on your own."
Thank you for reading! Please let me know what you think and I hope you're having a great start to the new year!
Chapter 12: Chapter 12
"Alright, you're sure you are all packed?" Emily asked later that night as she folded my socks and put them in my trunk.
"Yes, Mum, I believe so," I said, smirking at her, throwing a shirt in my trunk.
I felt someone nudge my side, clearly trying to wake me up.
"Come on, Rosie; get up, the train leaves in a few hours."
I rubbed my eyes, confused, and saw Hugo sitting on the bed next to me.
"The train is leaving tomorrow," I said, groggily. "It leaves on Monday. It's only Sunday."
"No," Hugo said, shaking his head. "It's Monday. You slept here overnight. I had to sleep on the ground."
"Oh," I said, looking at his bedside clock and seeing that it said seven fifteen. "Sorry for sleeping in your bed. I guess I slept through Sunday then."
"Yeah, you did," Hugo said and pushed some hair out of my face. "You okay?"
I shook my head and looked up at him, his red, almost brown, hair in twenty different directions.
"Want to tell me why?"
"Not particularly," I muttered. It wasn’t that I didn't trust Hugo with it, I did, but every time I thought about Scorpius and Vanessa kissing, my heart learched in a million directions.
"Well then," Hugo said. "I guess it's a good thing Scorpius told me."
I snapped into a sitting position and stared at Hugo. "What do you mean he told you?"
"He told me Vanessa Bauer kissed him right as you walked up," Hugo said. "And that you haven't given him the chance to explain that to you."
"Hugo, he cheated on me," I said. "He didn't want to be with me, so he cheated with Vanessa."
"That's not true Rose," Hugo said. "You know Scorpius wouldn't do that to you, you just need to talk to him."
"No," I said, shaking my head. "I'm not talking to him, not after what he did."
"And what did he do Rose?" Hugo asked, raising his voice. "Some girl kissed him and before he could push her off or do anything about it, you walked up and then ran away from him before he could explain! And then he tried to talk to you yesterday morning and you didn't listen, you didn't even try to! You just ran away from the conflict, just like always."
"You don't know anything about my relationship with Scorpius!" I said. "You don't get it- he kissed another girl! I'm pregnant and he kissed someone else!"
"No he didn't!" Hugo cried, getting off his bed and raking a hand through his hair. "Vanessa kissed him. He didn't respond to it, in fact he was about to push her off when you walked up. Rose, Scorpius wouldn't hurt you, I know that. You just need to talk to him."
"I'm not talking to him!" I yelled. Hugo was always the one person that I was able to fight with and not worry about the consequences. He was my brother, he would love me no matter what and wouldn’t tell anyone if I got upset or yelled at him. "Don't you get it, Hugo? I can't talk to him, it hurts to see him. All I want to do is be rid of him right now because I hate that even though I am so hurt, he is still the one I want to make it better! I'm better with him out of my life, he makes me weak and I can't be weak right now! There's too much going on; I don't have time to deal with relationship problems!"
"So that's it then?" Hugo asked, looking down at me with disappointment written all over his face. "You and Scorpius are over? Just because some girl who is known to be obsessed with him made a move on him, a move he didn't respond to, you're ending it with him?"
"I told you, he's not good for me, it’s better that he's not in my life-"
"That's the biggest bullshit I've ever heard," Hugo spat. "I never thought I'd say this, but Malfoy is the best thing that ever happened to you. But if you're going to be fucking stubborn, then think of it this way: maybe it’s better that Scorpius isn't in your life, but what about the baby's life?"
"What do you mean?"
"That baby is just as much Scorp's as it is yours," Hugo said. "Just because it's inside you doesn't mean that it is any less his child. It takes two to tango and it takes two to make a baby and you have no right to just take his child away from him." I looked down, knowing it was true. If I left Scorpius’s life, the baby would come with me, just because it was inside me. "That would destroy him if you did that and you know it. You say that you don't have time to deal with your relationship drama? Well deal with it. Because whether you like it or not, he is the father of your child and it isn't fair of you to take the opportunity of being a dad away from him." Hugo walked over to the door and was about to leave when he looked back at me. "And he's still coming for Christmas. I don't care what relationship issues you are having, you are going to fix them. After everything he has done for you the past few weeks, you owe him that much."
And then he walked out of the room without looking back once.
"So let me get this straight," I said to Hugo at lunch on Sunday. "Even though your sister and I are...well I don't know, not on good terms right now, you are telling me that I'm still to come to Christmas?"
Hugo nodded. "Rosie isn't going to talk to you if she doesn't have to. If you're at Christmas, then she'll be forced to talk to you, because I know that she'd probably rather fix things with you then have to answer our family's questions as to why you aren't there."
I chewed my food and thought about it.
"Look, Malfoy," Hugo said, setting his fork down and looking at me. "I don't know what's going on with you and Rose right now. I know that you didn’t cheat on her and all, and honestly, I don't really give a fuck if you guys are broken up." I flinched, knowing that there was a very good chance that we were broken up. "But my niece or nephew is going to be born in a few months and they deserve to have a mother and father. You deserve the chance to have your child. Rose is prone to running recently, but I won't let her run away from you this time. You two are fixing this; at least so that you can decide what is best for your kid." Hugo stood up. "Got it?"
I nodded. "Do you think I still have a chance with her?"
Hugo thought about this.
"I think so," he said after a moment. "Once Rose stops being so stubborn, I bet she'll come around and forgive you. I'm not a hundred percent certain though."
I sighed and looked down at my food. "Okay. Thanks Hugo."
I picked at my food and looked back up and was shocked to see that Hugo was still there, watching me.
"You really care about her don't you?" Hugo asked me.
"Yeah," I said. ''I really do."
Hugo nodded before leaving the table, going over to the Gryffindor table to talk to Lily about something.
Rose hadn't come down to lunch. I hadn't seen her since she ran away from me before breakfast. I wanted to see her; I did partly because I wanted to know what was going on with us. I fucked up, big time. But just because I fucked up didn't mean we were broken up.
I banged my head against the table, knowing that on a scale of 1 to 10 of how broken up we were, 1 being not broken up at all and 10 being completely over, I was probably at a 9.
"Alright, you're sure you are all packed?" Emily asked later that night as she folded my socks and put them in my trunk.
"Yes, Mum, I believe so," I said, smirking at her, throwing a shirt in my trunk.
"Don't get cheeky with me for wanting to make sure that you look decent for Christmas with your girlfriend's family," Emily said. I was about to interrupt her but she cut me off. "And don't say that she might not even be your girlfriend anymore, because you two are going to work it out."
"How do you know that?" I asked her.
"I figure there are only two options," Emily said, repeating my words to her. She gave me a small smile that didn't meet her eyes and then went back to folding my shirts that I had just thrown in my trunk. Once she looked down, I could see her face fall, as if her repeating those words hurt her.
She and Alex weren't speaking to each other. It had only been a day, but they had managed avoiding each other at all costs. If one of them walked in the room while the other was there, one or both of them walked out. I was surprised that she was even in my dorm, since there was a very high chance that Alex could walk in the door.
"Hey," I said, touching her arm. "You okay?"
Emily stopped folding and took a deep breath, her eyes closed. "I'm such an idiot for telling him."
"No you're not-"
"Yes, Scorp, I am," Emily said, throwing my shirts in the trunk, giving up trying to fold them. "If I knew that this would happen, I wouldn't have told him. I knew there was a chance that he wouldn't feel the same, hell I almost was sure of it, yet I took the dumb risk and told him anyway. I ruined our friendship and humiliated myself."
"You didn't ruin your friendship," I said, trying to restrain myself from yelling at her that Alex is completely crazy for her but is too much of an idiot to say so himself. "Trust me, you didn't humiliate yourself-"
"Really Scorpius?" Emily asked, turning on me. "Don't you get it? He rejected me! I know you think that we'd be great together and I know that you think I did the right thing, but he doesn't want me! He rejected me; he told me that he wouldn't choose me. He's proved that by being with Chloe all day." She wiped a tear from her eye. "You're a great friend, Scorpius, but can you please let this go? Yes, I fancy him, but I need to do myself a favor and try to move on."
"Why do you need to move on? Why can't you just believe me that Alex freaked out and that you need to try again?"
"Because I don't want to feel like this anymore!" Emily said firmly, causing a silence between us. She lowered her voice tremendously when she spoke again. "I don't want to feel like a complete moron for liking him when he's taken. I just want to fancy someone who actually likes me back, and isn't afraid to tell me. If things are meant to work out for Alex and me, then they will, in time."
"Hey, Scorp, have you seen my game of Exploding Snap?" Alex asked, walking in the door. He stopped short when he saw Emily and me, Emily's back to him, meaning that she couldn't see the look on his face when he saw her. And Alex couldn't see the look on Emily's face, like she was forcing herself not to look at him.
"I think it's under your bed," I said, trying to ignore the awkward tension in the air. I looked back down at Emily and lowered her voice. "Ems, think about what I said."
Emily looked up at me, her eyes filled with sadness. "I wish I could, but I have to go."
She turned and I saw her head turn in the direction of Alex, who was looking under his bed for his game before snapping quickly back to the door.
"Why do you have to go?" I asked her. "Why don't you just hang out here?"
Emily reached the door and turned back and smiled at me. "I'd like to, but I have a date."
"What?" Alex yelled from under his bed, before hitting his head from trying to stand up. He pulled his head out and then stood up, his game of Exploding Snap in his hand. His eyebrows were furrowed, his jaw was locked and he looked pissed off. "With who?"
"Not that it's any of your business," Emily said, curtly. "But Vance Aarons asked me to eat dinner with him tonight."
Vance Aarons was a seventh year Ravenclaw who has been asking Emily out for a couple of years, even though she constantly said no. He backed off when Alex threatened him last year, but my guess was that he heard that they weren't speaking and decided now was a good of time as ever to try to win Emily's heart again.
"You actually said yes to that creep?" Alex said.
"He's not a creep!" Emily said. "You don't know him."
"And neither do you!" Alex said. "Are you forgetting that I had to threaten him in order to get him to stop asking you out?"
"I didn't ask you to do that!" Emily cried. "You did that all by yourself!"
"You’re the one who is always talking about the importance of guy’s understanding “no”. Well I knew you were never going to say yes and that he wouldn’t back off, so I stepped in!"
"How could you possibly know that I was never going to say yes?"
"Because he's Vance Fucking Aarons! You have better taste than that!"
"Oh you mean like you?" Emily asked. "Yeah, really great taste there. Look how well that turned out for me."
"Emily, look, just let me explain-"
"No," Emily said. "No, I'm not going to let you try to change your words or somehow make this better. You were a jerk to me and you can't change that. Now, I'm moving on from you. I have a date and I would like to not be late for it."
She slammed the door as she left.
"FUCK!" Alex yelled and through his game at the door. "Fuck! Just fuck everything! How could she say yes to him? How could she agree to go on a date with Vance Fucking Aarons just one day after she told me she fancied me? She didn't even give me the chance to explain!"
"Mate," I said. "Calm down."
Alex huffed and opened his bedside table. "Fuck, where the fuck are my cigarettes? Never mind, can I just borrow yours?"
"You sure?" I asked him. "You stopped smoking-"
"Yeah, we both did, remember?" Alex asked. "But right now I could use a fucking smoke because the girl I fancy is going on a date with Vance Fucking Aarons."
"Fine," I said, reaching into my bedside table and pulling out the pack of cigarettes that I hadn't used in two years. I tossed them at him. "Here."
"Thanks," Alex said, putting one in his mouth and holding his lighter up. He sat like that for a while, the cigarette in his mouth, the unlit lighter just a few centimeters away, waiting to be lit so he could smoke.
I awkwardly folded my shirts that Emily had thrown in my trunk.
"Fuck," Alex said quietly, putting the lighter down and pulling the ciggy out of his mouth. "Can't even smoke without her getting in my head." He stared at the cigarette in his hand. "Vance Fucking Aarons? That's my competition now?"
"Yeah," I said. "Vance Fucking Aarons."
Dinner went like this:
"Merlin, just look at him. He's such an oaf."
"I don't know what Emily sees in him."
"I'm so much more attractive than him."
"It's not even a good date. They're still on school grounds. They're in the Great Hall. Merlin, he doesn't even know how to treat her right."
"Fuck, is Emily wearing makeup?"
"She's bloody wearing makeup. Have you ever seen her wear make up on a normal day? She didn't even wear make up to tell me she fancied me."
"I bet Vance Fucking Aarons thinks she looks better with makeup. I mean, yeah she looks good, but she always looks good. She could be wearing sweats and still look better than most girls."
"Shit, I fucked up big time."
Emily was sitting at the end of the Ravenclaw table with Vance Fucking Aarons, as Alex and I came to call him, facing us, eating her dinner and making small talk with him. Alex was right- the guy was an oaf. He was huge, easily 6 foot 5, and weighed at least 250, most of that muscle mass.
I still can't believe that Alex threatened the dude last year.
I was fucking terrified of him.
I sat there in my usual seat, facing toward the Ravenclaw table, with Alex next to me, as he insisted that he had to watch their date "in case Vance Fucking Aarons tries to make a move on my girl".
I didn't bother pointing out that Emily wasn't "his girl" since he fucked up when he had the chance to make him his girl.
Alex nearly went over there to punch him when he tried to hold Emily's hand, but she politely pulled her hand away and smiled. I had to hold Alex down because he was set on finding any reason to go over there and ruin her date.
The bloke said Aarons drank his pumpkin juice wrong, so he should go punch him.
And, although it probably makes me a terrible friend to Emily, I almost let him. I hadn’t fully forgiven him for his disregard for Emily rejecting him, something Emily herself always said was unforgiveable.
Apparently Alex needed to piss her off enough to use Vance’s persistence to her advantage.
Emily and Vance Fucking Aarons got up from the table, finished with their dinner, and when he reached for her hand, she didn't pull away.
Alex was up and following them within a number of seconds.
"Alex," I said, getting up and following him. "You know that he could kill you."
"I'm not going to kick his ass," Alex said, exiting the Great Hall. "Unless he does something to make me."
We followed them down to the Common Room, Alex a few steps ahead of me in order to stay close to them.
"I had a really nice time tonight," Emily said nicely, once she reached the stairs down to the dungeon.
"I'm glad," Vance Fucking Aarons said, placing his hand on the wall behind Emily's hand, trapping her in while holding her other hand. "Do you want to get together over break?"
Emily looked down a bit her lip. "Vance you're a really great guy-"
Alex snorted. "I'm better," he said under his breath.
"-but I just...I don't like you like that."
Vance frowned. "Then why did you agree to come out with me?"
"You offered and I figured I'd give it a shot," Emily said, shrugging. "You seem like a nice guy-"
"So this has nothing to do with Zabini?" Vance Fucking Aarons interrupted. Emily's head snapped up and she looked at him with wide eyes.
"What does that mean?"
"Come on, Emily, everyone knows you guys have thing," he said. "Or at least that you wish you guys did."
Emily’s frowned deepend and I saw her anger begin to boil.
"You don't know anything-"
"So you deny fancying Zabini?" Vance Fucking Aarons asked and Emily was silent. "So what happened? He's been hanging out with that Chloe Miller from Gryffindor a lot lately; did he realize that she was better than you? Or did he hook up with her? Merlin, why do you fancy him? Don't you get that he's a complete arse who is clearly, a total idiot too-"
"Don't talk about him like that!" Emily said, pulling her hand out of his hand and trying to walk away.
"And you're still crazy about him!" Vance Fucking Aarons yelled. "Don't you get that he's a jerk? That he'd probably just use you and then run off? That's what he does! He's probably hooked up with Miller already and that's why you guys aren't talking!"
"That's not it," Emily said.
"Then what? Did you actually think you stood a shot with him, Emily?"
"I- he's one of my best friends. Don't say bad things about him or I swear, you'll wish you were never bor-"
"Oh cut the tough girl act," Vance Fucking Aarons scoffed. "Did you ever think this is why he doesn't fancy you? Because you act all tough and punch people. I hate to break it to you but no guy wants that, especially not Zabini. You're not his type. He doesn't want your type of girl."
"And what exactly is 'my type of girl'?" Emily asked, folding her arms.
"The tomboy type," Vance Fucking Aarons said. "You don't act like most girls. You would rather play Quidditch than do anything else and you know more stats on the Professionals than anyone else. Hell, most of our date was you talking about Quidditch. You don't do your hair, most of the time you just let it lay there. I'm surprised to see it done tonight. You don't wear makeup, which causes people, especially Zabini, to look over you. You're not his type and you just need to accept that and move on-"
I didn't notice that Alex was no longer next to me until it was too late.
"Hey, wanker," Alex said, walking up to Emily and Vance Fucking Aarons. Emily looked at him, her eyes wide and pissed off, yet a little grateful at the same time.
That is until Alex punched him in the jaw and caused him to fall down.
"Alex!" Emily yelled.
"You don't know my fucking type," Alex said looking down at Vance Fucking Aarons, squirm on the ground. "And stay the fuck away from Emily."
And then he grabbed Emily's hand and pulled her into the Common Room.
I followed them, making sure to avoid Vance's large figure.
"You can't just do that!" I heard Emily's voice say when I walked in.
Well this wasn't going in Alex's favor.
"Can't do what, defend you?" Alex responded. I walked into the Common Room to see them standing in the middle of the room, arguing.
"You weren't defending me! You were trying to prove some sort of point that he really is just a creep!" Emily said.
"No I wasn't! I was trying to tell him that he doesn't know my type!"
"Oh really? Because he seemed pretty accurate with it!"
"Yeah, well, he wasn't!"
"Who have you been interested in that's a tomboy?"
"Well, there's you, isn't there?"
Emily was suddenly, silent staring at Alex with a look of extreme shock on her face.
"Wh-What?" She said.
"You heard me," Alex said, still looking extremely determined. He took a few steps closer to her. "I said that there's you."
Emily was still looking up at him, her face full of disbelief.
"You say I don't like the tomboy type, well you're wrong," he said, pushing a loose hair out of her face. "Because I like you."
My best mate was smooth.
They stared at each other for a few seconds and, for a moment I thought they were going to kiss.
I was pretty sure that Alex was leaning in.
But then Emily pulled away.
"That's not fair," she said, pulling away from him. "You don't get to say you fancy me right when I'm trying to move on. That's not fair to me for you to try to make me still have feelings for you, when you have no intention of being with me."
"Wait, what?" Alex said, clearly confused. "Ems, I have feelings-"
"Dammit, Alex, don't do this to me!" Emily said. She ran a hand through her long hair, messing it up. "Don't act like you care about me in that way! I know you don't!" She took a deep breath, looking down at the ground before looking up at Alex. "Let me move on. It's really hard for me to see you and Chloe together. Look, I want you to be happy and if she makes you happy then...that's great. But you need to let me move on. It's not fair to Chloe for you to be stringing me along." She walked over to the stairs to the girl’s dorms before looking back at Alex. "I really am happy for you and Chloe," she said forcefully, before walking up the stairs.
Alex was standing there, the same bewildered expression on his face. "Scorp?"
"What the bloody fuck just happened?" he asked me.
"I think she thinks you're dating Chloe," I said slowly.
Alex slammed down on the couch, like he was suddenly exhausted. "That girl is going to be the death of me."
"Have you talked to Lily recently?" I asked Nick as we walked toward the front of the Hogwarts Express, trying to find the food trolley.
"Not too much," Nick said from behind me. "Every time I try to talk to her, I somehow end up doing something wrong and screw it up. Like at breakfast yesterday, I ended up spilling my pumpkin juice on her."
"She must have been thrilled about that," I muttered, looking into one of the compartments for a sign of Rose.
I told Nick that we were going to get food, but in reality I was looking for Rose, trying to see if I could talk to her before we got to her house. I wanted to know if she was going to ignore me, or just know what our relationship status was.
I needed to know if she was going to give me another chance.
"Yeah?" I responded pulling my gaze away from the compartment full of first year Ravenclaws and turning toward Nick.
"We aren't looking for the food trolley are we?" Nick said. "You're looking for Rose."
"Yeah," I said. "I am. I just need to talk to her."
"Does this have anything to do with what happened in the Entrance Hall before breakfast yesterday?"
"Yeah," I said. "Let's just leave it at the fact that I fucked up."
"Well that's surprising," a sarcastic voice said from behind me.
I turned and saw Sam Nathanson standing before me.
Fuck, I had forgotten about him. After the whole Prophet debacle, he kind of disappeared for a while.
Those were nice times.
"I'm not at all surprised that you fucked up your relationship with Rose," Nathanson said, his Head Boy badge, gleaming obnoxiously on his chest.
"Yeah, well at least I had a relationship to fuck up," I said. "Unlike you."
"So what did you do?" Nathanson asked in a condescending tone. "I mean, it's not surprising that you did something wrong, but I'm still curious as to what exactly you did."
"Well, how about you mind your own fucking business?" I said and pushed past him, continuing my search for Rose.
"You know I wonder how the Prophet would feel about this," Sam said. "I'm sure they'd love to know that you two aren't speaking anymore. They're very generous when they get brand new information in and I could use some extra Galleons."
And that was when I knew.
I turned around and grabbed Nathanson's collar, slamming him against the wall, ignoring Nick telling me to put him down.
"You fucking arse," I said, my voice angry as I tightened my grip on his collar. "You told the Prophet about Rose's pregnancy, didn't you?"
"Well, it took you long enough to figure out," Nathanson said, a smirk sliding onto his face.
That was all it took to set me off.
I slammed my fist into his face, knocking the smirk right off it. Nathanson tried to retaliate, but the fact that I had about four inches on him, not to mention actual muscles, meant that he didn't stand a chance.
He came at me, tackling me to the ground, but I quickly pushed him off and gained the advantage. I sat on top of him, punching him over and over again until I felt someone pull me off.
"Scorpius, get off!" Rose yelled as she pulled me back. She placed herself in front of me, blocking my path to Nathanson, who was now standing up slowly. We had a crowd around us, all packed into the narrow walkways.
"Yeah, better have your girlfriend come and pull you off before you do anything to fuck up anymore parts of your life," Nathanson sneered.
I stepped forward, ready to launch myself at him again, but Rose stopped me.
"Scorp, stop it!" She said, putting her hands on my chest and holding me in place. "Leave him alone."
I looked down at her, my breathing heavy. "He's the one who told the Prophet."
Rose's eyebrows furrowed. "What?"
"About you're pregnancy," I said, using her hands on my chest as a way to make sure I kept my temper down. "He was the one who told the Prophet you were pregnant."
Rose's eyes fell from mine and she removed her hands from my chest as she turned around, but not before grabbing one of mine in hers and holding it behind her.
"Is that true?" Rose asked her voice loud and daring. I had never seen her like this, never seen her so determined to get an answer.
"Rose, come on-"
"Answer the question, Sam," she said her voice firm. She fooled everyone into thinking that she was strong about this, like she could do this, but from the way she was squeezing my hand, I knew that she was scared out of her mind and only pretending to be strong.
"So what if I did?" Sam scoffed. Rose's glare hardened and Sam backed out of the I-don't-give-a-fuck attitude. "Yeah, I told them."
Rose's grip on my hand tightened.
I never thought I would be so happy that my fingers felt like they were about to fall off.
"I hope you enjoyed your last few days as Head Boy," Rose said. "Because I can promise you that McGonagall isn't going to think you're suitable if you sell out your classmate's personal lives."
"You wouldn't tell McGonagall," Sam said.
"Try me," Rose responded, her voice low. She looked around and saw the crowd around us. "Don't you all have your own business to attend to?"
Instantly the crowd disappeared, with Sam glaring at Rose and me as he went in the opposite direction.
Nick whistled. "Nice going, Rose. Your kid isn't getting away with shit."
Rose smiled smally. "Yeah, I've heard that a few times. Do you mind giving Scorp and me a minute? Hugo and Lily are in that compartment there." She nodded to a compartment only a few down from where we stood.
At the mention of Lily, Nick's face instantly lit up and he was heading down in the direction of the compartment without so much as a goodbye. Rose smiled and turned back to me.
Once she turned back to me, her smile fell and she rested her head on my chest, her arms at her sides. "I can't believe Sam told."
"I know," I said, wrapping my arms loosely around her. "Are you really going to write McGonagall?"
Rose nodded against my chest. "I have to. She told me if I ever found out whom it was or any clues as to whom it was to tell her because the student will be punished."
"Well at least that problem is solved," I said, resting my cheek on her head.
"Yeah," Rose said.
We were quiet for a few seconds before she pulled away.
"I should go," she said, quietly, as she pulled away.
"Rose," I said, grabbing her hand. "Can we talk about it? Will you let me explain?"
"I-I can't right now," Rose said. "I will, eventually but right now...it just hurts too much."
"If you let me explain-"
"Scorp," Rose said. "I promise I will let you explain, but I'm not ready right now." She gave me a quick kiss on the cheek. "Thanks for punching Sam for telling."
"That article hurt you," I said, looking down at our hands. "And no one hurts my family."
Rose nodded and pulled away, walking back to her compartment. I knew that Emily was in a compartment right in the front of the train, so I walked down in that direction, looking into the Rose's compartment as I passed.
Rose was sitting with Hugo, her head on his shoulder, while Lily and Nick sat on the same side, Lily's feet in Nick's lap. Lily was teasing him about something, laughing as his face turned bright red. Rose laughed, her face lighting up.
I walked away quickly, knowing that I would rather be in that compartment than anywhere else.
"Rose, what's going on with you and Scorpius?" Mum asked as I helped her clean the kitchen after dinner.
"What do you mean?" I said.
"Honey, you've barely said anything to him," Mum said, waving her wand to dry the dishes. "Not to mention the fact that you didn't sit next to him at dinner tonight and the last time I saw you two, you could barely keep away from each other." I looked down. "Rose, you could tell me anything, you know that right?"
"Of course," I said, sighing. "It's nothing major, we're just...we're dealing with relationship stuff. It's complicated. I'm a little scared we won't work through it."
"Honey, does he make you happy?" Mum asked.
I nodded. "Even when the story first broke and I was basically alienated from everyone, he made me happy." I couldn't help but smile. "He makes me happier than I've ever been."
"Oh Rosie," Mum said, pulling me into a hug and kissing my head. "Then you'll work it out."
"I really care about him, Mum," I said softly.
"I know," she said. "I know he feels the same about you." She gave me a quick squeeze. "You'll work it out. Whatever problem you are having now, you'll work through it. You just need to make the first move to fix the problem."
I nodded and went back to putting away dishes.
Mum's words repeated in my head as I lay in bed that night. I couldn't sleep because I felt this nagging feeling inside me that Scorpius was in the room right next to me, yet he felt so far away.
I looked at the clock and saw that it said it was two in the morning. I got out of bed, knowing that it was probably not the best idea to do this, but I couldn't keep feeling like this.
I needed to make the first move to fix the problem.
I tiptoed over to the door of the guest room, where Scorpius was sleeping, and opened it, making sure to shut it softly.
He was asleep on his side, keeping to one part of the double bed. I knew that I should let him sleep, to just make up with him in the morning, but I found myself being drawn to the bed. I lifted up the covers and slid under the covers, lying on my side so that I was facing him.
"Scorp," I said, poking his chest softly. "Wake up."
He muttered something and pushed his face into the pillow.
"Scorpius," I said, poking him harder. "Wake up. It's me."
He groaned and slowly opened his eyes, clearly unhappy to be woken up. His eyes widened slightly when he saw me lying next to him.
"Hi," I said, softly.
"Hi," he said back, his voice just as soft.
There was an unnatural quiet between us before I spoke.
"I'm sorry," I said. "I should have listened to you."
"No, you have nothing to be sorry about," Scorpius said. "If I were in your position, I probably would have thought the same thing. I'm sorry. I swear, I didn't kiss her, she kissed me-"
"I don't want to hear about it," I said. I moved so that my face was against his chest and wrapped my arms around him, hugging him to me. I inhaled his scent. "I know that you didn't do anything wrong but I really just don't want to hear about how she kissed you."
"Okay," Scorpius said, and I felt his arms wrap around me. I looked up with him and he brushed some hair out of my face. "I just want you to know that I would never, ever cheat on you. I care too much about you."
"I care about you too," I said, and pressed my face against his chest again. "I...I think I'm falling in love with you."
Scorpius, who had been stroking my hair, froze when I said that. He pulled away so that he could look at me. "What?"
"I..." I gulped, suddenly, feeling very nervous. "I think I'm falling in love with you."
I nervously waited to hear Scorpius's response.
But he didn't say anything. Instead he brought me closed to him and kissed me.
We ended up snogging on his bed for a few minutes before he pulled away and put his forehead on mine.
"Really?" he asked me.
"Um, yeah," I said and he broke out in a huge grin.
He gave me a quick kiss. "I think I'm falling in love with you too."
I smiled and settled in his chest. "I've missed you."
"I missed you too," Scorpius said. "Even though it was only two days. But for most of those two days, I thought we were broken up."
"Well, we weren't," I said. "Though I can see how you would think that." I intertwined my fingers with his. "I'm glad you're here."
Hello friends! I have a lot of updates for you!
I have officially edited all of the rest of the already written chapters (up to Chapter 21)! I will be updating these soon! What's exciting about this means that I am officially beginning to write the following chapters. I am thrilled about this because that means that I get to continue working on finishing this story by actively writing instead of editing. What will make writing future chapters easier is the fact that I have all the future chapters planned out and outlined. In fact, there may even end up being more than the planned 35 chapters...
Because I have so many chapters written and edited I am hoping to update once a week. This may not work out, I am starting a new and more hectic school term, but I am hoping to be able to update often. I am hoping that now that I have finished editing the other chapters, I will be able to get ahead in writing chapter 22 and forward. I will try to keep you guys updated if there will be an extremely long wait, but I'm hoping I won't have to wait too long to share!
I hope you guys enjoy the rest of the story! I am so excited to share it with you and very excited for the direction it is headed!
Chapter 13: Chapter 13
It was actually quite nice being pregnant.
You could blame a lot of your sudden laziness on it.
Scorpius and I sat in the waiting room of St. Mungo's. I held his hand tightly and leaned my head on his shoulder, exhausted.
For whatever reason, my morning sickness had gotten worse since being home. I had stayed up the past two nights, puking my guts out, trying to sleep on the bathroom floor when I could. I barely ate anything because I would instantly throw it up.
I was really scared that something was wrong with the baby.
Most of the time, when I was throwing up, Scorpius was right next to me, holding my hair or rubbing my back, with a glass of water and a towel at his side so that I could wipe my face and clean my mouth out. He told me that there was probably nothing wrong with the baby that my morning sickness was just finally getting to the point it needed to be, since I was now about 7 weeks along.
"You okay?" Scorpius asked me as I leaned my head against him.
I nodded. "Are my parents back yet?"
"Your mum just got to the front of the checkin line and your dad is still in the restroom. They'll be back soon though," Scorpius said, detaching out hands so that he could throw his arm around my shoulders and pull me closer to him. He played with my hair and my stomach made a groaning noise, causing Scorpius to smirk. "Are you hungry?"
"Starving," I said. "But it's not like it would matter since I'll probably just puke whatever I eat up in five minutes."
Scorpius smiled and kissed my head. "Ah, I love it when the girl I'm falling in love with talks about puking. Such a turn on."
"Get used to it, Malfoy," I said. I opened my eyes at the sound of Mum's heels against the tile floor.
"Alright, the nurse said that the Healer will be with us in a few minutes," Mum said, sitting down next to Scorpius and putting her purse at her feet. "Do you kids need anything?"
I was about to decline when Scorpius said, "Actually, Rose is a little hungry, Mrs. Weasley."
I frowned up at him as Mum grabbed her purse from the ground. "No, I'm fine, Mum. I'll end up throwing up if I eat anything."
"I had the same problem when I was pregnant with Hugo," Mum said, still digging in her purse. "But I found that I could still eat crackers and be fine. I brought some in case you were hungry." She pulled some out and handed them to me. "Eat. It will make you feel better."
I ate my crackers, ignoring Scorp's triumphant smirk, and looked up to see Dad walking towards us.
"How much longer?" he asked as he sat down.
"Not too long," Mum said, flipping through a magazine that was on the table in front of our seats.
I looked around the waiting room and right when I did, I noticed that many people's eyes snapped away from me, like I had caught them staring at me. One woman (who was very, very pregnant) was still looking at me over her magazine, as if I couldn't see her. I swallowed my crackers and balled the bag that the crackers were in up, and averted my eyes from the stares.
Only so that they could land on the latest issue of Witch Weekly, that, once again, Scorp and I were on the cover for.
And I suddenly felt like a very small person, with everyone watching me, seeing if I would screw up.
"I, um," I said, standing up. "I have to go to the bathroom."
"Honey, the healer will be ready soon," Mum said.
"Yeah, I just need to pee," I said. "I'll be quick, I swear."
Mum sighed, so I took that as a sign that I could go. I didn't look at Dad or Scorpius, who shared a disbelieving look and walked toward the bathroom. My back burned as I felt the stares from the rest of the room on me. I saw people whispering and I quickened my pace, keeping myself together until I locked the door of the bathroom.
I took a deep breath and rested my head against the door before going to sink and splashing my face with water. I had been naive enough to think that I wouldn't be stared at, that I wouldn't be scrutinized whenever I stepped out of the house. At Hogwarts, people had adjusted and I was rarely stared at anymore. I had gotten so used to it that I barely noticed when my classmates were whispering about me. At Hogwarts, it was almost normal.
But I had forgot that there was a world outside of Hogwarts.
Everyone stared at me. Getting off the train was terrible because all of the parents looked at me like I was the plague. I hadn't left my house until today, since Scorpius and I were hanging out and helping my mum around the house. I was going to go out to shop for Christmas presents in Diagon Alley, but Mum told me that it was bad enough for her to go down there since she got bombarded with questions about me by the press. Dad offered to get me a bodyguard so that I could go, but I turned him down, instead giving my list to Chloe when she went.
I hated it. All of it.
There was a knock on the door and I looked up at the mirror while saying, "Just a minute."
"It's me," I heard Dad's voice say on the other side. "Can you let me in?"
I walked over to the door, unlocked it and let Dad in. Then I went and put the toilet seat down so that I could sit on it.
"Hey," Dad said.
"Hi," I said, softly. "Sorry, I took a little longer than I thought I would. Just tell Mum I'll be a minute."
"That's not why I'm here," he said, looking around the bathroom. "Why'd you run off back there? And don't say you had to actually use the bathroom, I saw the look on your face. What's wrong?"
I took a deep breath. "Everyone was staring at me," I said weakly. "Everyone was staring at whispering and I...I just couldn't take it."
Dad nodded. "I understand the feeling." He leaned against the sink. "Your mother and I haven't exactly given you the normal childhood we wanted for you and Hugo."
"You saved the Wizarding World," I said. "I think that having a free world is worth the whispering and stares."
And glares and name-calling and constant press attention and gossip.
"But you shouldn't have to deal with this all at once," Dad said. "Look, I told you when you told us that you were pregnant that you aren't a little girl anymore. And you aren't. But I know this is scary and that finally realizing how much press attention we get isn't helping. You are so used to just running away and hiding from the problem and you can't do that anymore, Rosie. If it were up to me, I'd let you constantly be running back to me and I'd take care of your problems. But I can't do that."
"Why not?" I asked. "Why can't you just take care of all of it?"
"Because I got to let you go," Dad said. "I have to let you live your life and make your own mistakes and learn from them. I'll always be here. But I have to let my little girl grow up into the beautiful woman I know she is. Scorpius told me about everything that happened at school since you found out you were pregnant. Seems like you got a bit of a running away problem, for starters. But when you aren't running away, you do handle everything well." He walked over and knelt down in front of me. "You are so much like your mother. I am so proud of you for everything you've done. I know that you're scared and I know that the stares aren't easy. But I know you're stronger than that. You have me, your mum, Hugo and most of all Scorpius on your side. So, you know what I say? Fuck everyone else." I giggled at Dad swearing. "You have your family. You know the truth. And if people are going to judge you and Scorpius for getting pregnant so young, you don't need them."
"Thank you, Daddy," I said, standing up with him. He unlocked the door and I followed him out. He put a comforting arm around my shoulders.
"Scorp was worried about you," Dad said, nodding to where Scorp paced, looking nervous, next to Mum.
"He does that a lot," I said, looking up at Dad. "Do you like him?"
He shrugged. "More than I would like to admit," he said with a smirk. "He's a good guy for you."
I smiled and looked at Scorp, who now stopped pacing, and said, "Yeah, he is."
If anything, he was perfect for me.
He was the most perfect person in the world.
He was flawed, there was no doubt about that, and he made mistakes, often. But he was perfect.
And I fell more in love with him every passing moment.
"Hey," Scorpius said when we reached them.
"Hey," I said, smiling up at him.
"Hermione, why don't we go into the office and let these kids have a minute before the appointment," Dad said, before turning to Scorpius. "No funny business though. Keep your hands in appropriate places."
"Dad," I said, my face reddening.
"I'm just teasing you, Rosie," Dad said, before turning back to Scorpius. "But I'm not teasing you."
"Okay, Ron, that's enough threatening of the boyfriend," Mum said, grabbing his hand and pulling him away. "Don't be too long, okay? I would like to see my grandchild soon."
"I'm going to a grandpa!" Dad said as he walked away with Mum. "I'm too young to be a grandpa!"
"Oh, shush, Ronald," Mum said, swinging his arm so that it was now around her waist. "You're plenty old."
I smiled at them before turning to Scorpius and putting my arms around him. "Hi."
"Hi," he said, holding me close in a hug. "Okay?"
"Okay," I said, looking up at him. "Just a little spooked."
"Me too," Scorp said, squeezing me tighter. "We're seeing our baby."
"Yeah," I said. "We're seeing our baby."
"We still need to figure out what we're going to do with it after it's born."
"Yes, we should probably figure that out."
"And how the adoption process works, if we decide that."
"That would be important."
"And if we decide to keep it, we would need to figure out all that stuff that goes along with keeping a baby."
"Yeah," I said, nodding. In that moment, I knew what I wanted to do. I wanted to keep the baby. I wanted to stay with Scorpius and raise our child together. We wouldn't get married, or anything. We would just be together and raise our child.
It sounded simple, like it was so easy to do.
But I knew it wasn't. I knew that there would be the issue of where we would live and trying to figure out who will work when and we would need a crib and baby toys and all that other stuff.
And I would want to work things out with Louis and Al. I know them and I know that they would love to be around a baby. Besides, I don't think that I could do it without them.
"But we can talk about that later," I said, reaching down and grabbing his hand. "Right now, we get to see our kid."
Scorpius smiled and we walked down to the room, where the Healer was waiting for us.
"So what is that you're putting on?" I asked as the Healer (Healer Knight) put a thing of gel onto my stomach.
"It’s a potion in a gel form, that will make it so that we are able to see the baby on here," she said, tapping the screen. "It won't affect the baby or you. Our Healers created it quite some time ago and it is completely safe."
"Okay," I said. I reached out and grabbed Scorpius's hand.
I was currently lying on a table, having gel applied to my abdomen, while Scorpius sat next to me, my parents behind us.
"Will we get to find out if it's a boy or girl?" Scorpius asked.
"Not yet," Healer Knight said, pulling out her wand. "You find that out at 18 weeks and your wife is only at 7 weeks."
"We're, um, we're not married," Scorpius said, awkwardly. "Just dating."
"Oh, I'm sorry," she said. "I forgot that you were still in school."
"Yep," I said. "Seventh year. Our N.E.W.T.S are in May."
"Any idea of what you want to do?" Healer Knight asked as she waved her wand over my stomach.
"A Healer," I said. "I'm not sure what I want to specialize in, though."
"That was one of my toughest decisions going through Healing School. There are so many options." She looked at Scorpius. "And what about you, Mr. Malfoy?"
"I'm not really sure," he said awkwardly. "Lots of options don't really know which one to pick."
"Oh, you'll figure something out," she said, turning the screen towards us. "Now, if you'll look here, the image should be appearing any moment now."
Mum and Dad rushed around me and the four of us looked up at the screen. I pushed myself up into a sitting position to get a better view.
"You hear that beating sound?" Healer Knight asked and I nodded. "That's your baby's heartbeat."
I listened, to the slow gentle rhythm and looked up at the screen. There wasn't much there, really. It was just a giant case, it looked like. But there was something small in the corner, only the size of a peanut.
And that was our baby.
I felt Scorpius squeeze my hand and sat down next to me. I rested my head on his shoulder, letting some tears fall from my face.
"Oh my," Mum said, her eyes tearing up.
"Bloody hell," Dad said. "That's my grandchild. I'm going to be a grandpa."
"I'm going to be a mum," I said softly.
"Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, why don't we let them have a minute alone with the baby. I'm sure you remember what it was like to see your child for the first time," Healer Knight said and my parents nodded.
They left and Scorpius and I sat there in silence. We held hands and stared at our child.
"Fuck," Scorpius said quietly. "Holy fuck. That's our baby." He touched the screen. "We made that."
"We did," I said, reaching my hand to touch the screen as well. "Hi little baby."
" Hi," Scorpius said. "We're your parents."
"Hi love," I said, tears falling. "Merlin. Listen to the heartbeat. Our baby's heartbeat."
We listened, the soft thumping playing around us.
And I couldn't help but think that it was the best sound I ever heard.
I squeezed Scorp's hand and brought it around to my waist so that I was able to tuck myself into his chest.
This was my family. The three of us.
And I couldn't think of a time I had been happier.
"Wait, where is it?"
I sighed and grabbed the picture from Chloe. "It's right here." I said, pointing at my baby. "That's my baby."
"Oh," Chloe said, frowning. "Doesn't look like much."
"I'm only 7 weeks along," I said. "It's not supposed to look like much. The baby is in good health, though."
"Well, that's good," Chloe said, dropping the bags she brought over. "Okay, I got all your gifts, even the ones for Al and Louis. Remind me why you're getting them gifts again?”
"They're my cousins," I said, pulling gifts out of the bags. "I still care about them. Besides it's not like we haven't had any communication. They still care. I know they do."
"But what if they didn't get you any gifts?"
I shrugged and put all the gifts in my closet. "I don't mind. It was their decision to get me a gift and as we haven't spoken in two months, I'm going to assume that they didn't get me one. But I felt like getting them gifts, so I bought those ones. If they have a problem with it, then they can deal with it."
"Wow," Chloe said. "Where did this sassy, independent Rose come from?"
"I'm growing up," I said. "I need to grow up and face reality. I need to stop running away. I want to fix things with them, so I'm going to try." The doorbell rang. "That'll be Emily."
"Emily's coming?" Chloe asked and I heard Mum let Emily in downstairs.
"Yeah," I said. I looked at Chloe and saw that she was biting her lip nervously. "That's okay, right?"
"it's fine," Chloe said. "She just thinks that Alex and I are dating."
"Oh," I said, frowning. "You aren't right?"
"No!" Chloe said. "I'm still madly in love with your cousin, in case you forgot."
"Just checking," I said. "Just explain to her that you aren't."
Chloe sighed. "I suppose I'll do that if she doesn't kill me first."
"She's not going to kill you," I said.
"Hey Rosie," Emily said, walking in the door. "I made cookies!"
"Ems!" I said, going over and taking the plate from her hands. "Thanks. But I won't eat them since I've been throwing up a lot lately. You and Chloe can chow down though."
"Oh," Emily said, stopping when she saw Chloe. She smiled at her. "Hey. Didn't see you there."
"Yeah," Chloe said, awkwardly. "How have you been?"
Emily's smile faltered, but she quickly plastered a fake one on. "I'm fine. You?"
"Just sitting in my room which has way too many pictures of the boy I used to be in love with and trying not to let my heartache get the best of me," Chloe said, shrugging. "But other than that I'm fine."
"Oh," Emily said, a shocked look on her face. "Well, um, how's, ugh, Alex?"
"I don't know," Chloe said. "We haven't talked that much lately."
"But aren't you dating?" Emily blurted out before widening her eyes. "I mean- ugh, you know, aren't you two going out? So isn't it weird that you aren't talking?"
"No," Chloe said. "Alex and I aren't going out."
"But I thought..."
"Did you miss the whole 'I'm still in love with Al' thing I just said? Where I can't even take down his pictures from my room because I don't want to admit to myself that it's over because I'm terribly pathetic?" Chloe asked. "Why would I date Alex when I have feelings for someone else?"
Emily groaned and fell onto my bed, face first. "I'm such a fucking idiot."
Chloe patted her back. "There, there. You and Alex will work it out."
Emily made another groaning noise into my bed.
"Um, Ems?" I asked and she made a noise to let me know that she heard me. "Would you mind letting me know what the hell is going on with you and Alex?"
Emily sat up and looked at Chloe. "You didn't tell her?"
"Why would I tell her?" Chloe asked. "It's your business!"
"She's your best friend! You tell her everything!"
"Not when it isn't my business I don't!"
"Can someone fill me in please?" I asked.
Emily sighed. "I told Alex I fancied him."
"Oh that's so cute!" I said.
"No, it's not," Emily said. "Because he basically told me that I was an idiot and that he would have feelings for Chloe easier than me."
"Which is total and complete bullshit," Chloe said.
"No it's not," Emily said. "But it gets worse. Every time that he tried to talk to me or explain it to me, I would blow up on him and not let him speak. He even told me he fancied me and I still blew up on him."
"And she went on a date with Vance Fucking Aarons," Chloe said, earning a glare from Emily. "What? You did."
"And it ended so well," Emily said, falling back on my bed. "And now, I'm currently not talking to Alex."
Chloe fell back on the bed next to her. "And I'm not at all over my ex-boyfriend and can barely say his name without wanting to burst into tears."
"Our love lives suck."
"Tell me about it, Ems."
I stood there, watching the two of them lie on my bed. And I couldn't help but tell them my exciting news.
"Scorpius and I are falling in love."
I was met with groans of annoyance and pillow thrown at my face from Emily.
Chloe left long before Emily did, saying that her dad wasn't feeling well so she had to go help out at the Three Broomsticks, which her family owned. She gladly took half the cookies Emily made at my house, since they ran out after having their little pity party and keeping me out because I have a boyfriend.
I found it funny that they were super awkward with each other about five minutes before they decided that they could bond through the patheticness of their love lives.
Emily, Hugo and I were in the living room, watching a Professional Quidditch game when someone knocked on the door.
"Rose can you get that?" Mum yelled from her study.
"I'm pregnant!" I said. "Can't Hugo get it?"
"That's not going to work for another five months, Rose!" Mum said. "You aren't showing, so get your butt up and answer the door."
"Fine," I said and drug my arse off the couch. The person knocked again. "I'm coming, I'm coming. Merlin, be patient, I'm with child."
It was actually quite nice being pregnant.
You could blame a lot of your sudden laziness on it.
I went to the front door and opened it, only to see no one there. I heard someone knock again and realized that they were knocking on the kitchen door.
No one knocked on that door. Not unless they're family anyway.
I walked over to it and opened it up.
I was nearly stunned into silence at who was before me.
"Hi," I said to Al.
"Hey," he said. "Can I come in? I didn't exactly wear the right clothes for winter." I noticed that he only had on a jacket, despite the fact that it was below freezing.
"Of course, yeah," I said, standing aside to let him in. I shut the door and turned back towards him. "So...you want me to get Hugo for you?"
"No, I'm not here to see Hugo," he said, causing me to frown.
"Well, my mum's in her office if you need her," I said, confused as to why he was here. "But Dad's still at work, so you'll have to wait for him to get home."
"I'm not here for them either," Albus said, which caused me even more confusion.
"Well, Chloe just left so if you were looking for her-"
"I wasn't looking for Chloe," Albus said.
"Then why are you here?" I asked.
"I'm here because I wanted to talk to you," he said. "No one else. I'm here because I needed to talk to you."
There was a moment of silence as I digested what he said.
He needed to talk to me.
He wanted to talk to me.
"Oh," I said. "Okay then. Why don't we..." I motioned to the chairs. "...sit."
"Sounds good," Al said, pulling out my chair before sitting in his. We sat in silence and Al looked around. "Not much has changed since we were kids."
I looked around the kitchen. "I guess you're right."
"Remember when we used to play in cabinets when we were five?" Al asked. "Your mum got so mad because she thought we broke all her pots."
"She was so pissed," I said, cracking a smile at the memory of a smaller Albus sitting in the cabinet. "I don't know how we ever fit in there."
"You were tiny," Al said. I didn't know how to respond to that, so once again a silence filled the air.
Al looked at the counter and frowned before getting up and grabbing whatever it was and bringing it back on the table. "What's this?"
I looked down at it and saw that it was Mum's copy of the picture of the baby.
"Oh," I said, nervously. "It's...it's a picture of the baby."
Al looked up at me, a strange look on his face, before looking back down. "Where is it?"
I pointed. "Right there."
"Looks like you," he joked awkwardly. I smiled, more in hopes that it would diffuse the tension more than anything else.
This was new territory for us. We barely spoke since he found out I was pregnant and we definitely didn't talk about my pregnancy.
"You're really having a baby aren't you?" he asked softly, looking down at the photo.
"Yeah," I said, looking at the photo in his hand. "I'm really having a baby."
Al set the picture flat on the table and looked at me. "I've been a shit cousin haven't I?"
"You haven't been picture perfect," I said.
"I'm sorry," he said. "Merlin Rose, I'm so sorry. I let you go through so much shit on your own. Hell, I caused half that shit. I've been terrible. And not just to you but to Chloe and Malfoy too. I totally fucked up with Chloe and I didn't even give Malfoy a chance." I was quiet, watching Al as he talked. "I've been terrible, I really have. I never should have abandoned you. You're like my sister for Merlin's sake. And all that shit you were going through, I should have been there. I should have kicked Malfoy's arse for whatever he did to you last week. I should have been the brother I promised to be when we were five." He ran a hand through his hair. "I'm so sorry Rose. I'm so, terribly sorry for all the pain I've caused you and for ignoring you and just for being the biggest prick on the planet."
Tears pricked my eyes.
He was coming back to me.
"Oh, shit," Al said. "Why are you crying? I didn't want to make you cry. I just wanted to apologize- fuck, I screwed this up didn't I? I didn't mean-"
"You idiot," I said, launching myself at him and hugging him tightly. "Of course I forgive you! I'm crying because I'm so happy!"
"Oh," Al said, hugging me back. "Good. So we're back to normal?"
"Yes!" I cried, squeezing him before letting go. "I've missed you, Al."
Al smiled. "I missed you too Rose."
"Rose, you haven't been kidnapped have you?" Emily asked and I heard her footsteps heading toward us. "Because I'm pretty sure Scorp would kill me if you were." She walked into the kitchen and stopped when she saw Al. She glared at him. "Oh. You."
"Me," Albus said, sending me a worried glance. "Hi?"
Emily's glare deepened.
She was probably pissed about what he did to Chloe. You know, since she and Chloe had spent three hours talking about how much Al and Alex suck and eating all the sweets possible while I was kicked out and forced to hang out with Hugo because I wouldn't talk about how much Scorpius sucked.
"What are you doing here?" Emily asked. "Why is Rose crying? I swear to Merlin, Potter, I will kick your arse-"
"Ems, it's fine," I said and her head jerked over to me. "We made up."
"Oh," Emily said, dropping her glare for an unsure look. "Okay then."
Yet another awkward silence filled the air.
"So, Al," I said as Emily sat down next to me. "How have your life been?"
Al shrugged. "It's been up and down, lately."
Emily held in a laugh at that, causing her to earn a glare from me.
She's so immature.
"That's not what I meant," Al said, smirking slightly at Emily. She smiled back at him. "What I meant was that I've been okay. There's a shit load of bad stuff right now, but I got some good news to."
"Like what?" I asked.
"I'm getting scouted to play Professionals."
"No way!" Emily said, suddenly very excited. "By which teams?"
Oh, Merlin, we were getting into a Quidditch talk.
"Canons, Falcons, Arrows, Tornados and Puddlemere." Al smirked. "James isn't too thrilled that we could be on the same team."
"I went to the Puddlemere vs. Harpies game when he was playing this past summer!" Emily said. I moved so that we could switch seats. She slid over quickly. "He did amazing! Puddlemere is a great team and he definitely works well there."
"Yeah, I'm not too sure I have the talent to get on there," Al said. I picked at the table since I couldn't really contribute to the conversation.
"That's bullshit!" Emily cried. "You're easily the best seeker Hogwarts has ever seen!"
Al smiled and waved her off. "You flatter me."
"Oh, don't be modest, Potter," Emily said. "Honestly, you're amazing. I've never seen a Wronski Feint in person before and trust me; I go to my fair share of Quidditch games during the summer."
"That was pretty cool wasn't it?" Al asked, smirking slightly.
"Pretty cool?!" Emily cried. "It was awesome! You don't know what I would do to learn that!"
"I'll teach you," Al said, shrugging like he offered to teach cool Quidditch moves every day.
"You'll teach me?" Emily asked her eyes wide and excited. "You'll teach me how to do a Wronski Feint and not kill myself in the process?"
"Yeah," Al said. "I'll Apparate home and get my broom and you get yours and then we'll meet back here so I can teach you."
"You live next door, Al," I pointed out. "Why would you Apparate?"
"Because it's cooler," Al said. "I could always just let you borrow a broom, Emily."
"That's fine," Emily said a huge smile on her face.
"I'll go get them, then," Al said, standing up. "See you two lovely ladies in a few."
Emily giggled before turning to me. "He's a lot sweeter than I thought he was." She got up and grabbed her jacket, putting it on, and the smile still in place.
And I couldn't help but think that the whole Al/Chloe/Emily/Alex love square thing just got way more complicated.
"So you didn't cry, then?" Alex asked me as we walked back to Rose's house. "I mean, it was your child that you saw. Some guys cry because they are so overwhelmed."
"No," I said. "I did not fucking cry. Please stop asking me that."
Alex smirked. "I bet you sobbing like a little baby."
"You're an idiot," I said.
Alex shrugged. "So have you talked to Emily since break started?"
I shrugged. "Not too much. I think Rose invited her over today though."
"She did?" Alex asked as I opened the front door. "And you didn't tell me?"
"Well, think of it this way, maybe she'll actually acknowledge your presence without trying to punch you in the face," I said and Alex glared at me.
"Not helping mate," he mumbled as we walked into the living room.
"Hey Hugh," I said. "Where's Rose?"
"Outside with Emily," Hugo said. "Emily and Chloe spent three hours bitching about Alex and Al earlier."
"Great," Alex said under his breath. "Just fucking great."
"Yeah," Hugo said. "Rose was kicked out because she wouldn't bitch about you, Scorp."
I smiled triumphantly.
That's my girl.
I lead Alex outside to where Rose was sitting in a chair, bundled up in blankets.
"Hey," I said as I approached her. "Isn't it a little cold to be out here?"
She got up from the seat and I sat down, pulling her down on top of me. "I wanted to watch." She nodded to the backyard.
"Are you fucking kidding me right now?" Alex asked, looking up at the sky.
I looked and saw Al and Emily on their broomsticks, appearing to be talking about something serious.
"She's hanging out with Potter?" Alex asked the words sharp on his tongue. "Fuck. Out of all the guys- what does she think that this will somehow make up for her dumb idea that Chloe and I are dating? To go after Chloe's ex?"
"She knows you and Chloe aren't dating," Rose said. "She just wants to learn to do some sort of trick."
Alex watched Emily as she dove to the ground before pulling back up quickly. "Yeah, sure. That's why she has that huge smile on her face every time he fucking looks at her."
It was true. Emily smiled at Al with her bright white teeth and even giggled when he said something funny to her.
But what Alex didn't know was that Emily gave him smiles like that. Hell, they were even bigger. And when she wasn't smiling at him, she was often sneaking glances at him.
The bird was crazy about him.
And he felt threatened.
Because he was crazy about her too.
Merlin, these two just need to get their shit together.
"Thanks for the invite for dinner," Alex said, turning away from them. "But I think I'm going to go."
"You don't have to," Rose said. "We have plenty of food."
"No, it's fine," Alex said. Behind him, Emily looked down and saw him. "See you."
"See you," Rose said before leaning back into me. "Why do I feel like the whole situation with the Al, Chloe, Emily and Alex just became way more complicated?"
I sighed. "Because it has."
Emily and Al flew down to us, landing a few feet away.
"Was that Alex?" Emily asked, looking after him, almost as if she was considering going after him.
"Yeah," I said. "He decided not to stay for dinner."
"Oh," Emily said a disappointed look on her face. Al reached out and touched her shoulder, comforting her, like he knew exactly what was going on with that situation. Emily looked at him and smiled and sent another look, this time a guilty looking on, in the direction Alex had gone.
Oh yeah. Things had gotten way more complicated.
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