Chapter 1: Chapter 1
"Come on Rosie, you can't back out of the Halloween Party!"
I rolled my eyes as my roommate Chloe sat on her bed, looking at me in shock.
"It's tradition to go Rose! You can't miss it especially not the last one you will ever have!"
“Considering I have never gone to one of these parties, I hardly think I can consider it a tradition to go,” I said, unable to hold myself back from laughing. I put my schoolbooks into my bag. “I told you that I have this essay in Arithmency. I really don’t want or need to go to this party. I’ve missed it the past six years, I would be okay missing it for a seventh.”
“Rose I think your essay due in two weeks can wait one night,” Chloe said. “Come on! Just ditch your school work and responsibilities for one night. They will still be there in the morning waiting for you.”
I was about to respond, but was cut off by our roommate Audrey, entering the room.
“Can you guys help me decide what to be tonight? I honestly can’t make a decision,” she said, carrying two garment bags with her.
“Why did you even get two costumes?” Chloe said, sitting up on her bed. “You should have just picked one and then you wouldn’t have this issue.”
“Well I tried that, but there was a special for buy one get one free and Rose refused to shop with me, so I got two, figuring she would wear the other one,” Audrey said, hanging the bags up.
“That would require actually getting her to go,” Chloe said. “She’s bailing for the library.”
“What?” Audrey said. She looked at me. “Rosie, tell me she’s kidding. Please tell me you are not bailing when you finally said you would go.”
I shrugged. “That essay is due in two weeks! If I want to follow my typical three draft process I have to start this weekend.”
“So start tomorrow!” Audrey said. She had a desperate look on her face. “Please, Rose, please! I already have two costumes and when I told some guys you were going to come they were super excited to get to hang out with you! Rose, this could be the first step towards you getting out there and starting to date!”
“I don’t need to date!” I said. “I don’t have time to date. You know that the top healing schools require the top grades and dating would distract me from that. I have you guys and my family and trust me, that is more than enough distractions. I see how much time Chloe has to spend with Al in order to maintain their relationship; I don’t have that time and even if I did, I would probably spend it maintaining my grades.”
“Al and I don’t spend time together to maintain our relationship,” Chloe chimed in from her bed. “We spend time together because we want to. We even study during that time. So, sorry, but your argument is invalid because you could just date someone who wanted to study as much as you do.”
“Thank you future Defense Wizard Council,” Audrey said, pointing to Chloe as their stood in solidarity against me. I rolled my eyes. “Rose come on. I’m not saying you actually have to hook up or date anyone tonight, but don’t use not having time as an excuse. It’s okay to want to date someone. I know my personal experiences with dating have not always been the best examples but look at Al and Chloe. Probably going to get married right out of Hogwarts. It’s all a process. I know you’re going to go to your fancy healing school and become a world class healer and protect everyone in the whole world and never take care of yourself, so what’s wrong with me wanting to make sure that you find someone to take care you? You probably won’t find your soulmate or anything tonight, but in order to find someone one day in the future, you may need to start actually socializing with the other gender.”
“I do socialize with the other gender,” I pointed out.
“Your family doesn’t count,” Chloe interjected and I threw a glare at her.
“I was talking about Sam,” I said, realizing that besides him, majority of my interactions with males were my family.
“Ah, that could be a good place to start,” Audrey said. “You know he likes you, why not just take it a little farther one day during rounds?”
“Because he’s Head Boy and I’m Head Girl and I would have to see him constantly afterwards and that would be awkward?” I said. “Besides I’m not attracted to him.”
“Okay valid,” Audrey said. “But you have start somewhere. Why not just go and try to talk to guys you are attracted to?”
“Why is your whole strategy of getting me to go to this Halloween party about guys?” I said. “Why not just a great night with friends? We are more than our relationships with guys you know.”
“Yes I do know,” Audrey said. “I am also a self-sufficient woman. But dating can be fun. It can suck, a lot, but it can also be fun. I guess my point is I want to see you happy with something besides school. And also, a lot of guys were excited to hear you were coming tonight. But if you would rather just focus on us hanging out, looking hot as hell, ignoring all the guys who fawn all over us, we can. I just, I don’t want you to get so caught up in books and studying and making the world so much of a better place that you avoid dating because you’re scared.”
“I am not scared of dating,” I said, under my breath. This earned me a disbelieving look from both Chloe and Audrey. “Fine, maybe I’m not thrilled with dating but still, scared is a little strong.”
“Scared, hesitant, frightened, you pick the adjective they all describe you Rose,” Chloe said.
Despite everything in me telling me that I shouldn’t say what I was about to say, I took a deep breath.
“Okay,” I said. “I’ll go. I might even talk to some guys. No promises though.”
Audrey broke out into a smile. “Yay!”
“I can’t believe you broke down,” Chloe said. “Al is going to be so confused when he sees you there in one of the costumes Audrey picked.”
“Yeah I should probably tell you, you won’t like the costumes I picked,” Audrey said, her face looking guilty. “They’re not your usual style. So you can pick first. Just remember Halloween is typically when people dress this way, so you won’t’ be the only one.”
She unzipped both the outfits and I groaned, wondering if I had just made an awful choice in going to this party.
“I can’t believe you chose these two outfits,” I said as we walked into the Room of Requirement.
“I can’t believe you actually chose to be the Devil,” Audrey said, adjusting her halo.
“This outfit covered up way more than that one,” I said, pointing at Audrey’s outfit. “I was lucky this skirt went to midthigh.”
“Unfortunately it is the patriarchy’s world Rose,” Audrey said. “The choices for women’s Halloween costumes is either sexy or mom. No in-between.”
“I think I would feel better in a mom costume,” I said, pulling my skirt down. “I feel like a slag.”
“Yeah well you look hot Rose,” Chloe said. She grabbed three shots from the bar handing one to each of us. “Take a drink and maybe you’ll start to feel more comfortable. Or at least start being less self-conscious.”
“I can’t drink,” I said. “I shouldn’t even be here, so I especially can’t drink. I’m Head Girl.”
“Sam is Head Boy and he is here and he is drinking,” Chloe said, pointing at Sam through the crowd. “Look you don’t have to if you don’t want to. But you’re here and this is a part of the experience.”
“You really don’t have to,” Audrey said. She downed her shot. “But it is a little fun to let loose once in a while. If you don’t want to that’s fine. If you really feel super uncomfortable in that dress and at this party you can leave. But, keep in mind that Luke Woods has been checking out since you got here and I know for a fact that you think he’s fit.”
I looked around and did in fact Luke Woods checking me out. He smiled at me and I gave a small smile back.
I glanced at my drink before looking at Chloe and Audrey.
“All a part of the experience?” I asked.
“Only if you want it to be,” Chloe said.
I poured the drink back into my mouth, feeling it burn down my throat. I scrunched up my face.
“I’m going to need another one of those before I forget what I’m wearing.”
“Ladies, I come bearing shots.”
"Al!” Chloe said, kissing him on the cheek as he approached us with a tray of shots.
“Hi babe,” he said, handing her a shot. “Audrey, Rose.” He frowned at me. “It’s nice to see you here, Rose but I wish I could see less of you.”
“Ha ha,” I said, grabbing a shot. “I’m not exactly thrilled about my outfit either.”
“Then why did you wear it?” Al asked.
“The Patriarchy, Al,” Audrey said. “The Patriarchy.”
“…right,” Al said, though he was clearly still confused. He gave a glance at Chloe, who just sent him a smile and wrapped her arms around him, tucking herself into him.
I felt a pull at my heart, seeing how safe Chloe looked and how Al held her like she was the most perfect thing in the world. As much as dating scared me, it was because the possibilities of getting what Chloe and Al have, something so wonderful and easy and perfect on the first try was near impossible.
And I was nothing if not a perfectionist.
“I um, I think I’m going to go walk around,” I said. “See if I can find Lily.”
“Do you want me to come with you?” Audrey asked. “I was hoping to find Louis anyway.”
“No, I can go on my own,” I said. “Thank you though. I’ll find you later okay?”
“Okay,” Audrey said. “Let me know if you leave or anything.”
“I will,” I said, walking away.
I took one last look at Al and Chloe, completely in their own world, and with the slightest bit of jealousy over what they have and turned around.
Where I saw the dance floor where everyone was dry humping each other. That was more of what I expected from dating. And it was something that I really wasn’t interested in.
I moseyed around the party for a little while, keeping my eyes out for Lily or Hugo, or anyone that I could talk with without feeling like they had other intentions. I felt eyes on me as I walked and was getting incredibly uncomfortable and was suddenly feeling desperate to hide myself. I eventually found an empty couch and, after much debate with myself, decided to sit down alone, feeling the side effects of my two shots catching up to me.
I had just begun to wonder if I should leave to go to bed or the library when someone joined me on the couch, nearly sitting on me in the process. I groaned internally, worrying that it was one of the invasive pairs of eyes I felt on me coming over to make a move.
“Ow,” I said, yanking my hand out from under their butt.
“Shit sorry,” he said.
I looked up to see Scorpius Malfoy sitting next to me.
Not that I ever would have admitted it to anyone, but I was grateful that it was Scorpius sitting next to me and not someone else. Although Scorpius and I weren’t friends by any means, we were always friendly towards each other; we didn’t have any of the sniping at each other that he had with my male relatives. He was always respectful towards me which is why, arguably for the first time in my life I felt more comfortable with Scorpius Malfoy than with any other boy in the room.
“Malfoy, you should really look before you sit down,” I said. I put my hand in his face, pretending to be dramatic. “You could have really hurt my hand with your butt.”
“Please, you’re just grateful that you got to touch my ass,” Scorpius said with a wink.
“You’re right I dream about you constantly,” I said, rolling my eyes.
“Well then at least my dreams about you aren’t for nothing,” he said, flashing me a smile.
Despite myself, I couldn’t help but feel myself flush at his comment. I awkwardly looked down at my legs, attempting to pull my skirt down since it had ridden up with I sat.
“How long does it take you to get drunk?” I asked randomly.
“What?” Scorpius said, confused.
“How long does it take you to get drunk?” I repeated. “Because I’ve only had two shots of firewhisky, but my head already feels light and dizzy almost? But like I’m not dizzy? My brain just feels like it’s light and spinning.”
Scorpius looked at me with a smile. “Well getting drunk varies for everyone. Since you’re not a drinker and you’re short, it will probably take less for you to get drunk than for me.”
“Hm,” I said, pondering this. “Interesting.”
“Is you being drunk why you’ve been so friendly during this exchange?”
“I’m always friendly!” I said. Scorpius raised his eyebrows at me. “At least with you. I always thought that we were very respectful and nice to each other.”
“We are, to a point,” Scorpius said. “You have never made an effort to actually have a conversation like this to me. Most of our conversations that have lasted this long were about school work.”
“Yes apparently that is an issue for me,” I said, more to myself than to him. “Audrey has informed me I spend too much time worry about school work and not enough about dating and boys.”
“Dating isn’t all it’s cracked up to be,” Scorpius said, taking a drink. “But is there a reason you haven’t dated anyone? Merlin knows there are plenty of willing guys?”
“Where are these guys?” I asked, confused. “You’re the second person to bring them up.”
Scorpius laughed. “So, specific reason for not dating?”
“I don’t know,” I said shrugging. “I guess, in truth, I haven’t really met anyone who I found interesting enough to date.” I put my hand over my eyes, realizing what that sounded like. “Oh Merlin did I just sound like a total snob?”
“No, just honest,” Scorpius said. “But if that’s the case, then you’re making the right choice. Dating someone who isn’t interesting isn’t all that great.”
“Well apparently I’m missing out,” I said.
“You’re not,” Scorpius said leaning his head back on the back of the couch. “Unless you enjoy being ignored by people you fancy and getting more attention from people you don’t.”
I leaned my head back on the couch, mirroring him. “Who would ignore Scorpius Malfoy, especially when he fancies them? My understanding was you could have anyone you wanted in this school.”
Scorpius laughed. “Don’t believe everything you hear.”
I smiled at him, suddenly realizing how close our faces were. Despite myself, I couldn’t help but admire his face. His features were pointy and he had the signature Malfoy blonde hair that went along with his pale skin. Although I had never thought anything about how Scorpius Malfoy looked, I found myself very content to keep looking at him for the rest of the night and never leaving this couch.
I noticed that he too, seemed to be taking my face in going over all my features before meeting my eyes again. I suddenly got the most overwhelming urge to lean forward and close the distance between us, especially since we had this whole couch to ourselves.
Audrey had said it was all a part of the experience right?
Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on how you look at it, we were interrupted.
I looked up, seeing a tall brunette, motioning Scorpius over. As I looked at her, seeing how utterly gorgeous she was, I felt my stomach drop, wondering why I had even thought that he was flirting with me and feeling like an idiot for thinking of kissing him, when this girl wanted his attention.
When Scorpius didn’t immediately get up, she gave him a pointed look, causing him to sigh. I looked at him; the look on his face seemed almost annoyed that this beautiful, model like girl was calling him over.
“Sorry I have to take care of something,” Scorpius said, his voice sounding slightly defeated. He stood up and offered a hand out to me.
“It’s okay,” I said, grabbing his hand and standing up as well. Once standing, I immediately dropped his hand, ignoring the emptiness I felt without it.
“If you drink some water it will help with the head dizziness,” Scorpius said. “It will just sober you up a little.”
“Oh, thank you!” I said. “Sorry for keeping you from…um…” I looked back at the beautiful girl, who was sending smirks to Scorp, which he met with a glare. “From your girl…person. I’ll see you class Monday okay?”
I left before he could finish, disliking all the feelings that I had and the disappointment I felt that he had to go. However, knowing that he was probably right about the water, I walked over to the bar.
“Could I get water please?” I asked the house elf there, knowing mum would lose her mind if she knew House Elves were working and also providing alcohol to underage students.
He handed me a water bottle. “It’s automatically refiling Miss.”
“Thank you so much,” I said. “You are getting paid for this right?”
“Oh yes,” the house elf said. “Mr. Potter and Mr. Weasley are most generous to us house elves! We are getting payment and clothes!”
I smiled, thrilled that my mum’s lecturing about House Elves rights had a lasting effect with Al and Louis. I went to open the bottle when I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned around to see my fellow Head, Sam Nathanson.
I had to withhold the groan I wanted at the sight of him.
Sam wasn’t a bad guy. He was just kind of annoying. Audrey was right when she said that he had a crush on me—he had asked me out on a few occasions and even though he was always respectful of me when I said no, I always got the feeling that whenever we did anything together or he did anything for me, that he was doing so to try to get me to feel the same way about him that he felt about me. And I just didn’t. I couldn’t even find him attractive, because he was just so…normal looking. He had dark hair and dark eyes and was average height and honestly just looked like a generic white guy.
I tended to like a guy who looked different from people. Who stood out from the crowd a little more.
My mind immediately brought a certain blond with pointy features into my head, which I took to mean I needed to drink some water to sober up.
“Hi Sam,” I said, before taking a huge gulp of water.
"Hey Rose," Sam said. He looked at me up and down, taking in my costume. "Nice costume."
“Um,” I said, suddenly feeling very self-conscious with his eyes on me. “Thanks?”
His eyes kept glancing downwards and I knew he was staring at my chest. “Can I buy you a drink?”
“No thank you,” I said. I held up my water. “I’m trying to sober up. I’m probably going to leave soon.”
Sam smirked and moved closer to me. “Really? Well maybe I’ll leave soon too.”
I may not have had a lot of experience with boys, but I knew enough to understand what he was implying. I immediately began looking for an escape, particularly someone that I knew.
Or maybe one of my overprotective male cousins or brother. Because this would have been a good time for them to show up.
Sam moved closer to me, putting his hand on my waist. “We could always just leave together.”
My heart immediately started beating faster as I began to go through all the statistics of situations that start like this. I tried quickly to think of a way out of this.
“Um, well, Sam-“
“Weasley there you are!”
Sam and I both looked up and saw the tall brunette that had called Scorpius away appear. Up close, I was able to recognize her as Emily Goyle, one of the seventh year Slytherins. She immediately pulled me out of Sam’s grasp and into a hug.
“Play along,” she whispered in my ear before letting me go. “Oh good you got the water. I’ll get one too. I was wondering where you went to! I’ve barely gotten to see you all night!”
“Yeah,” I said, trying to improvise on the spot. “I tried looking for you but couldn’t find you.”
“Well I found you now, so we finally get to hang out!” She said. She ordered water from the bar, giving a smile to the house elf before turning to Sam and immediately meeting him with a glare. “Nathanson.”
“Goyle,” Sam said. “Rose and I were actually just leaving-“
“No you weren’t,” Goyle said. Her tone was light, but there was an edge to it that could not be missed. “Weasley promised me we would finally hang out tonight so I’m not letting her leave with you! But have a good night!”
“Bye Nathanson!” Emily said, grabbing my hand and pulling me away.
Once she had dragged me away from the bar and out of Sam’s line of sight, she turned to me.
“Are you okay?” she asked, her tone serious.
“Yes,” I said. “Why did you do that back there?”
“Because you looked incredibly uncomfortable,” Emily said. “And scared. And I was not going to just see that and not do something. I don’t know what Nathanson is capable of but I’m not going to take a chance to find out. Also I know you don’t normally wear outfits like that, just like I don’t wear outfits like this, so I figured you might just be as uncomfortable as I am from all the outer male attention. And I wasn’t going to let a guy think your outfit meant something it didn’t.”
I nodded, understanding, hearing this type of rant of Audrey often.
“Well thank you,” I said. “I don’t think anything bad would have happened but in that off chance I appreciate it.”
“Yeah well if us girls don’t look out for each other who will?” Emily said. “I’m Emily Goyle. I know who you are, but I don’t think we’ve ever been properly introduced.”
“Rose Weasley,” I said, reaching my hand out to shake hers.
An awkward silence descended over us, so I took a drink of water.
“Sorry about pulling Scorpius earlier,” Emily said.
“Oh you’re fine,” I said. At the mention of Scorpius, I immediately tried to think of everything I had ever heard of her and Scorpius’s relationship. “You don’t have to apologize.”
“Well, it just seemed like you guys were, um, hitting it off,” she said, a sly grin on her face.
My face immediately flushed and I looked away from her at all the dancing bodies. “I mean, sure.”
“Scorp’s a really good guy,” Emily said. Although her tone was casual, as if she was just saying he was a good guy, I was having flashbacks of when Al liked Chloe and I was trying to set them up.
“I’m sure he is,” I said, suddenly feeling a whole different kind of uncomfortable. I was sure that Scorpius was a good guy, but the fact that my male cousins could barely stand to be in the same room as him made it near impossible to think of what him being a good guy could do with me. “You know, I actually think I am going to go.”
“Are you sure?” Emily said. “Do you want me to walk with you?”
“No I’ll just see if I can find one of my cousins,” I said, though I had no intention of doing that. “I have my wand anyway; I’ll just carry it so that I’m ready if I need it. Thank you so much for earlier, I’ll see you in class!”
“Bye,” Emily said, though I could tell she was confused as to my sudden departure.
I turned around, moving towards the door, keeping my eyes open for Audrey to see if maybe she would want to walk with me. Chloe I knew would be with Al, or could already be in the Gryffindor Tower with Al, so I had no expectations of seeing her anywhere.
I was so focused on looking for Audrey that I ran right in to somebody’s back.
“Oh, Merlin, I’m sorry!” I said. The person turned around and I almost had to scream at my luck.
“We sure seem to be accidentally hurting each other tonight don’t’ we?” Malfoy said with a sly smile.
“Yep,” I said, breathlessly. After everything that had happened tonight, running into Malfoy and suddenly feeling very flustered was not something I wanted.
“Ah, nearly empty water bottle,” Malfoy said, tapping my water with his fingers. “We won’t talk as much as we did earlier since your sober now. Probably just school.”
“You know I do talk about other things besides school when I’m sober,” I said, feeling defensive.
Scorpius shrugged. “Wouldn’t know. You always limit your conversations to just school with me.”
He sent me a smirk and, despite myself, I couldn’t help but smile back.
“Are you leaving?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I said, but I found that while I wanted to leave the party, now that I found Malfoy again, I didn’t really want to leave him. “Um, would you, um, would you want to go for a walk with me?”
“A walk?” Scorpius asked. His brows furrowed together and I could tell he was confused as to why I would ask him to walk with me.
“Yeah,” I said, suddenly losing all bravery I had in the one second I asked him to walk with him. “Don’t worry about it, it was stupid-“
“Yeah, um, yeah I’ll walk with you,” Scorpius said, seeming almost flustered. “Let me just, tell Alex where I’m going.”
I nodded and he walked over to a guy, Alex I assumed, telling him he was leaving. His friend looked at me and got a huge smirk on his face, slapping Scorpius on the back, causing Scorpius to glare at him. Scorpius said one last thing to him, still looking annoyed by his friend’s laughter, before walking over to me.
“What was all that about?” I asked.
“He’s just being Alex,” Scorpius said. “Nothing important. Ready to go?”
I nodded. Scorpius let me go first, placing his hand on the small of my back, guiding me forward and keeping us together as we moved through the large crowd. Once we exited the room, his hand dropped from my back.
“Is your head heavy again?” Scorpius asked. I frowned at him in confusion. “You said your head was light early when you were drinking. Since your sober I was wondering if maybe your head was heavy again.”
“Oh,” I said, remembering my rambling about my head weight. “Yeah, my head is heavy again. At least, heavier than it was when we last talked.”
Scorpius nodded and we walked in silence for a little bit, both of us unsure of what to say.
“Sorry about early,” Scorpius said. “Emily, the girl who pulled me away, she needed me. A guy kept bugging her and she couldn’t find Alex, so I had to hang out with her until the guy backed off.”
“It’s okay,” I said. “Um Emily actually did the same for me too, so I understand.”
“What do you mean?”
“Sam Nathanson? He was just hitting on me and as I tend to do when a guy shows interest in me I was very uncomfortable but didn’t know how to get out,” I said. “Emily came and brought me away.”
Scorpius nodded. “So Nathanson was hitting on you?”
“Yeah,” I said. “It’s not new. He’s fancied me for a while so I’m used to it. He was just a little more, um, persistent, I guess.”
“Wanker,” Scorpius said under his breath. I shot him a questioning look. “For being persistent. Glad Emily was there.”
“Yeah,” I said. “Probably would have been fine, but I’m grateful.”
Another silence fell over us.
“So where are we going?” Scorpius asked, looking around the corridor.
“I don’t know,” I admitted, suddenly feeling very stupid for inviting a guy I barely knew and didn’t even like out for a walk in the middle of the night. “I was planning on just going back to the Gryffindor Tower but then after running into you I just felt like a walk.”
I really hoped that didn’t sound as desperate out loud as it did in my head. I stared down at the ground, hoping to hide my mortification.
Maybe I was still drunk.
I snuck a peek over at Scorpius and saw that he had a small smile on his face.
“Sometimes a walk can be nice,” he said. “The castle is different at night.”
“Yeah,” I said. “Doing rounds are always weird to do at night. Although I refuse to do the dungeons by myself. Too creepy.”
“Oh come on, the dungeons are not that creepy at night,” Scorpius said, stopping in front of me and facing me. “You’re supposed to be a Gryffindor, where is all that bravery?”
“I have a theory that the Sorting Hat saw the red hair and heard the name Weasley and put me into Gryffindor without looking at what was really in my head,” I said, smiling at him. “I always thought I should have been in Ravenclaw.”
Scorpius smiled. “Well let’s go then.”
“Go where?” I asked.
“Down to the dungeons,” Scorpius said. I scoffed at him. “Come on, everyone is either at the party or asleep. It’s the perfect time. You don’t have to worry at about any mean Slytherins hiding to scare you.”
I laughed. “Yes that is definitely my worse fear.”
“Come on it would be fun. I’ll even show you the Slytherin Common Room if you want,” Scorpius said, a twinkle in his eye.
“Interesting,” I said. "But if this is one of your tricks to get me in bed it won't work Malfoy."
"I would never try to get you in bed," Scorpius said. "Your father would kill me."
I couldn’t help but laugh at his response. He looked down at me, smiling and my stomach was once again filled with the feeling I got from looking at him earlier.
“Okay,” I said, hoping that maybe, just maybe, my emotions would disappear if I started talking. “We can go. But only if you take me to the Slytherin Common Room.”
“Promise,” Scorpius said. He held his pinky out. “Pinky promise.”
I joined my pinky with his, solidifying his promise.
“Well let’s go then.”
As Scorpius and I walked down to the dungeons and all around them, we talked the whole time. He told me how he first started playing Quidditch and how he was an only child but he always wanted a sibling. I told him about what having a sibling is actually like and about wanting to be a Healer since I first went to a St. Mungo’s when I was 7 and got bit by a gnome.
“Alright here it is,” Scorpius said, motioning to a portrait. “Cover your ears so you don’t hear the password.”
“Seriously?” I said.
“Yes,” Scorpius responded. “I’m already showing you the Common Room. Merlin knows that is some sort of crime, especially since you’re a Gryffindor. We’re supposed to hate each other, remember?”
“Sure,” I said. “Fine, I’ll do it.”
I covered my ears and watched as Scorpius says the password before he led me into the dark Common Room.
“What do you think?” Scorpius said.
“It’s dark,” I said. “Which makes sense, since you guys are under the lake.”
“Yeah,” Scorpius said. “Gets cold down here sometimes.”
“I’m sure,” I said, walking towards the bookcase. “You guys have a great book selection.”
I felt Scorpius come up behind me, looking at the books over my head.
“Yeah, I don’t know how often they get read,” Scorpius said. He reached past my head and pulled a book out. “This is my favorite.”
He handed it down to me and I turned to face him.
“A History of Magic by Bathilda Bagshot,” I said, reading the title. “A good book. So you’re a big history fan? Or was this just the one book you actually made it through?”
“Oh ha ha,” Scorpius said. “Although it was one of the first books about magic that I got all the way through, I just liked it. Comprehensive stories of magic throughout time. Haven’t read the newest edition that includes your parents and my dad, but considering my father’s part during that time, I may skip it.”
I snuck a look at him. He was looking up at the other books, his sharp jaw locked, and I could tell that his father’s past made him upset.
“It’s hard when your parents are a part of history huh?” I said, relaxing against the bookcase, hoping to show him I understood.
“At least your parents were on the right side of history,” Scorpius said, his eyes meeting mine. They were intense, clearly feeling guilt for something he wasn’t even alive for. He grabbed the book, stepping forward slightly to put it away above my head.
“Still tough,” I said. “Expectations to be as good as them.”
“That might be worse that the expectation to be completely different and better than them,” Scorpius muttered.
I shrugged, looking up at him. “Not worse. Just different. Hard to be your own person with their shadows huh?”
Scorpius looked down at me, with a concentrated look, almost as if he couldn’t believe that he found someone who actually understood him. I couldn’t believe that I had found someone outside of my family who understood. I had thought no one would be able to understand.
“You know I never realized you probably would have understood this problem too,” Scorpius said, a smile on his face.
“Right back at ya,” I said, smiling up at him.
His eyes scanned my face again and his eyes landed on my lips, before he cleared his throat and broke eye contact.
“You probably want to go back to your dorm now,” he said and I felt slightly deflated at his words. “Since you’ve officially seen the Common Room.”
“Oh,” I said, my smile dropping. “I guess.”
“I can walk you back if you want,” Scorpius said. “You know, try to be chivalrous and all.”
“I thought chivalry was a Gryffindor trait?” I said. “Why would a Slytherin need to be chivalrous?”
“It’s like you said,” Scorpius shrugged. “Sometimes I think the Sorting Hat saw the blond hair and the Malfoy name and placed me without even looking at what’s actually in my head.” Scorpius sighed. “It’s that damn shadow again.”
I stared at him until he met my eyes again. As soon as his eyes met mine, I felt the room shift and all my focus turn onto him and his face. The room was quiet, and the only thing I could focus on was his breathing.
I gulped before speaking gently. “You know I’m starting to think you’re maybe the one person to really understand what it’s like with that shadow.”
“Yeah,” Scorpius said, nodding. “I think you may be the only person I know that understands it too.”
“Quite the connection we have,” I said quietly, looking up at him.
“Yeah,” he said softly, his eyes drifting down to my lips again before meeting my eyes once more.
His gaze was forceful and I found my heart was racing a thousand miles a minute. I was very aware of the bookcase on my back and the small distance between us; it would have been so easy to pull him down to me and sandwich myself between him and the bookcase.
Before my brain caught up with my body, I had reached forward on my tip toes, kissing him softly on the lips. He kissed me back, ever so softly and I felt his hands lightly touch my waist. His hands on my body sent a shock through me and I pulled away, as if realizing what I was doing, opening my eyes to look at Scorpius’s face.
His eyes were closed and his lips were parted, he was clearly still in shock by what had just happened, just as I was. His eyes opened and he looked at him his eyes a mixture of confusion, excitement, and I would even say want.
“I…” I tried to think of some excuse for my actions.
“Rose,” Scorpius said softly. He opened his mouth to say more, but I cut him off, suddenly overwhelmed by the way he said my name.
I grabbed his face with my hands and pulled him down again, attaching my lips to his. He met me enthusiastically, his arms wrapping around my waste, pulling me as close to him as possible.
I had never kissed someone like that, desperate, wanting, and personally hoping that it never had to end. Although I knew so many things about it was wrong, kissing Scorpius Malfoy in the Slytherin Common room was not exactly my idea of a perfect snog session, I couldn’t help but want him all the more for it. In this moment, he wasn’t Scorpius Malfoy, the boy my family detested, the boy I only talked to about school.
No, in that moment, he was simply Scorpius Malfoy, the one person who actually understood the pressure of living in someone’s shadow and all the issues that came from it.
And because of that, I only wanted more of him, to escape the shadows that casted us together. To escape the obsessive need to be as perfect as possible. To be so scared of making a mistake that I never took a risk.
I broke the kiss and looked up at him.
“Where’s your room?”
Scorpius looked down at me, clearly not expecting this from me. “What?”
“Where is your room?” I said, letting one of my hands fall from his face to his shoulder.
“Rose, we don’t have to-“
“I know,” I said. I ran my hand down from his shoulder to his hand, pulling it into mine and squeezing it, before pulling myself out of his grasp and pulling him towards the staircase, which I could only assume led to his dorm.
He let me lead him, giving me directions when I needed them, until I opened the door that read Seventh Year Boys.
Scorpius let go of my hand, walking over to what must have been his bed and sitting down on it. I walked over to him, inserting myself between his legs. I was about to lean in to kiss him again, but his hands caught at my waist, pushing me back.
“Just say stop and we will,” he whispered.
I kissed him, wrapping my arms around him and pulling him as close to me as possible as we fell back onto his bed.
I never asked him to stop. I never wanted him to.
So I didn’t, instead enjoying every moment of the escape from real life.
Chapter 2: Chapter 2
“How many healing schools are you actually applying to again?”
“Definitely applying to, at least 4 but I have a huge list of some that I want to look into further,” I said as we descended into the common room. “Need to make sure I will get into at least one school.”
When I woke up the next morning, the curtains around Scorpius’s bed were drawn, but there was no mistaking the gentle snores, meaning that his roommates were back. I felt Scorpius’s arms wrapped around me, holding me close to him, his chest pressed against my back and our hands intertwined. The gentle snores were a reminder that I had to somehow get out of here without anyone noticing me.
Because that was something I really didn’t want to deal with.
I rubbed my eyes, trying to wake myself up, my movement causing Scorpius to groan and pull me closer to his chest. He pressed a sleepy kiss to my neck before nuzzling into it.
Although I knew that I needed to leave, it was hard to ignore how wonderful it felt to be cuddled by him. It was a reminder to how nice the night before had been. Scorpius had been gentle and let me set the pace, asking me if I was sure before we started having sex. He made me feel safe the whole time.
And now, cuddling with him made me feel the same way too. Safe. But also, terrified.
Because I hadn’t thought any of my actions through last night. I was so enamored by Scorpius and feeling understood for once, that I got careless and didn’t think of the possible outcomes or repercussions of it.
Or at the very least how I was going to get out of the Slytherin dorms without anyone noticing me.
I pulled myself away from Scorpius slightly, opening the curtain just enough to grab his watch from his nightstand and look at the time. It said it was five forty seven in the morning, meaning that if I left now, I would probably be able to get out without anyone noticing me.
I looked around the bed, looking for my clothes and saw them folded at my feet. My heart fluttered, realizing Scorpius must have done this while I was sleeping, and suddenly I wanted to leave less than I did before, wanting instead to return to cuddling with him and dealing with the consequences later.
But, the logical part of my brain was wide awake, knowing that if I laid back down, I would have to deal not only with rumors flying around Hogwarts about me and Scorpius, but someone potentially leaking it to the press and ruining the spotless reputation I had upheld so far.
I moved myself out of Scorpius’s arms, moving towards the feet of the bed to put my clothes back on. Scorpius stirred when I moved myself away from him, his hand moving across where I had just been.
“Rose?” he said softly, before going back to sleep. I quickly put my costume on, grabbing my wand from the pocket it was stashed in.
“Lumos,” I whispered, thankful that I could finally see. I shivered, feeling cold, and noticed that at the bottom of my pile of clothes, under my shoes, there was a jacket, almost as if Scorpius knew that I would be cold.
I put the sweatshirt on, feeling cozy in the warmth and trying to not be happy about the fact that it smelled like Scorpius.
I crawled back up towards Scorpius, pushing his hair to the side of his face, taking in his features one last time before I left. I couldn’t help but lean down, kissing his forehead, before peeking out the curtain and tiptoeing out of the room.
I walked carefully out of the Slytherin Common room, making sure that no one was there before walking gently across the room and out the portrait. I continued walking carefully, listening for footsteps, but fortunately the castle was dead.
When I finally reached The Fat Lady, she berated me for waking her up and gave me a once over, before commenting on my outfit and letting me in.
I continued to walk carefully up to my dorm, closing the door gently before noticing that it was empty. I gave a sigh of relief before I walked to my trunk and grabbing my PJs and changing into them. I threw the devil costume on Audrey’s bed and, despite myself, pulled Scorpius’s blue sweatshirt over me, zipping it up, before crawling into my bed and going back to sleep.
I woke up when Audrey walked in the door the next morning shoes in hand.
“Morning,” I said, stretching.
“Morning,” Audrey said. “Merlin my head is killing me.”
“Too much fun last night?” I asked. “Where even did you sleep?”
“Just in Lou’s bed,” Audrey said. When I gave her a questioning look, she shook her head at me. “He slept on the ground. I just got a little too drunk last night and couldn’t make it to my dorm.”
“How chivalrous of him,” I said.
“Don’t do that,” Audrey said.
“Don’t do what?”
“The whole thing where you say something but you really mean something else,” Audrey said. “I know what you think of my friendship with Louis.”
“I think nothing of your friendship with Lou,” I said. “I just think that you sometimes fool yourself into thinking it is friendship when it’s not.”
Audrey sighed. “It is a friendship. Even if I felt differently I wouldn’t do anything about it. I am still recovering from the last time I tried that and all the wonderful mental health issues it contributed to.”
I noticed Audrey pulling down her sleeve, pulling my eyes away before she could see me.
“You know I made a rule. No dating until I am sure about the person and in a place where I feel mentally healthy enough that I won’t spiral.”
“And you’ve been in a mentally healthy place for two years now,” I said. “So are you not sure about Lou?”
“It has nothing to do with him,” Audrey said. “It’s seventh year. Too much is going to change come June. That is my focus. Dating is fun, yes, but I’ve done that a good amount. I’m not going to let societies expectations of me to only want to date and find a guy get in the way of my career at the Ministry. I didn’t do that internship with your mum this past summer for nothing. You of all people should understand that, Future Healer Weasley.” She finished changing. “Now Lou and I are going to get breakfast; do you want to come down to the Great Hall with us?”
“Yeah just give me one second to change,” I said, getting out of bed.
“So where did you end up running off too?” Audrey asked as I changed.
“What do you mean?”
“Last night?” Audrey said. “You left us and then I didn’t see you the rest of the night.”
“Oh,” I said. “I ended up coming back not long after we got there. The alcohol didn’t really agree with me.”
“Shame,” Audrey said. “There were some cute guys asking me about you.”
I felt my face flush. “Really?”
“Yeah,” Audrey said. “But it’s not a big deal. I more wanted you to go so you could realize you could date someone if you wanted to.”
A face flashed into my head and I quickly shook it out, feeling my neck grow hot at the thought of the night before and who that someone was. I knew that if I wanted to date someone, it would probably the one person I actually felt a connection to for the first time.
“Thanks but I don’t think I will be dating any time soon,” I said as I pulled my hair back into a ponytail. “Like you said, too much changing in June and too many other things to focus on. Ready?”
Audrey nodded and I followed her out of the room.
“How many healing schools are you actually applying to again?”
“Definitely applying to, at least 4 but I have a huge list of some that I want to look into further,” I said as we descended into the common room. “Need to make sure I will get into at least one school.”
“You’ll probably get into all of those schools,” Audrey said, waving at Louis where he stood next to the Portrait Hole.
“Finally,” he said. “Took you forever.”
“Well I found Rose and needed to wait for her to get ready,” Audrey said. “Aren’t you going to be thankful I brought your most favorite cousin to come to breakfast with us?”
“I’m always happy to see Rose, but I’m also starving and in desperate need of some hangover food,” Louis said. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders, giving me a small side hug. “Please do not feel like my lack of enthusiasm at seeing you have anything to do with you.”
“It’s okay Lou,” I said as we walked out of the Common Room. “I’m sure you’re hungry and irritable that you had to hear Chloe and Al doing it all night too.”
“I think they cast the charm last night,” Audrey said. “It was definitely quiet from his bed. Either that or they didn’t do anything, which is not them at all.”
“Seriously,” Louis said. “The amount of times I’ve had to pretend not to hear them is ridiculous. At least they’ve gotten better at closing the curtains all the way. There was one too many times of seeing Al’s butt for me to handle.”
“If you’re going to do it in a dorm room it’s just common courtesy to pull the blinds around the bed and cast a silencing charm,” Audrey said. “So take note of that Rose in case someone actually ever catches your fancy.”
My face immediately felt hot and flashes of the night before and the fact that we did pull the curtains and cast a silencing charm was very apparent to me. I bit my lip, suddenly wanting to go back in time and relive it, and even realizing that I could, since we did everything right the first time. A part of me though, wondered if it was right. Yes, there was the connection, but just because I connected with someone didn’t mean I had to sleep with them.
“Ew Audrey,” Louis said. “Please don’t talk about that.”
“She’s a human woman with needs, Louis,” Audrey said, matter-of-factly. “It’s going to happen eventually. Just hope it’s not with Sam and therefore not in your room.”
“I hate this conversation,” Louis said, looking incredibly uncomfortable. “Please, can we change the topic?”
“I second that,” I said as we walked toward the Great Hall.
“Merlin I hope they have pancakes today,” Louis said, veering to one side of the Gryffindor table, Audrey following behind him. I walked along the opposite side of the table, so that we’d be able to sit across from each other when the time came
“That’s what you want to change the topic to?” Audrey said. “How hungry you are?”
“Well it’s a great topic and also I can barely think of anything else when I am so hungry,” Louis said, sitting down on the bench.
“Well, be happy because there are pancakes,” Audrey said, sitting next to him. She watched him a small smile on her face, as he wiggled his shoulders in excitement before pulling a stack of pancakes onto his plate.
Audrey looked down before smiling to herself. She looked up at me and that smile immediately dropped at what I’m sure was a smug look on my face. She stuck her tongue out at me before reaching for the apple in front of her and breaking eye contact.
I laughed to myself before looking past her at the Ravenclaw table where a first year was looking very sick, yet continued to shove more chocolate into his face.
There was a lot of movement from behind him at the Slytherin table and I looked over to see Emily throwing tiny pieces of pancake into someone, who I recognized as Alex, the guy Scorpius talked to last night before we left. I immediately straightened up, realizing that if they were there, Scorpius must be close by. Despite myself, I immediately looked next to them to see Scorpius sitting next to Emily, laughing as Alex got hit in the face from a pancake.
He stretched his arms over his head, his blue eyes scanning the Great Hall as he did so. When his eyes reached mine, they stopped and he pulled his arms back down. Scorpius immediately straightened his back and gave me a smile. Despite myself, I gave him a smile back, feeling myself redden at his gaze. That strong pull to him that I felt last night returned, that connection that I had never felt before was full force in me. I suddenly felt very eager to be alone with him again, not just to repeat what happened last night, but also just to talk with him again. I broke eye contact, choosing instead to look at the table, feeling very flustered.
“You okay there Rosie?” Louis asked. “You have a weird look on your face.”
“Yeah I’m fine,” I said, trying to bring my face back to normal. “A first year over there just looks like he’s about to puke.”
Audrey and Lou look behind him.
"Ugh, poor kid,” Audrey said. “Too much candy will do that to you.”
"Not to mention the obnoxious arseholes behind him,” Louis said. “I feel like puking every time they’re near me too.
“Merlin, Lou, they’re not that bad,” Audrey said, shaking her head.
“I’ll say that Goyle isn’t that bad. She’s quiet and really is only competitive with Quidditch and doesn’t appear to have the same compensation issues the other two have,” Louis said, nodding at Alex and Scorpius.
“Your rivalry with them is stupid,” Audrey said. “It was a long time ago-“
“They’ve been bastards the whole time,” Louis said. “This is more than them pulling a dumb prank when we were 12. They’re pureblood arses who think they’re better than everyone else, just like all of the Slytherins. Zabini and Malfoy barely give anyone the time of day if they don’t deem them worthy enough. Not to mention how they go through girls.”
My head snapped up immediately at this. I had never paid much attention to the rumor mill, especially when it concerned Malfoy, but after what happened last night, I found myself immediately curious as to if I was one of many girls Scorpius Malfoy had slept with.
Curious as to if I had made up that connection I felt with him.
Curious if I had fallen for some trick.
“Yes because your so chaste,” Audrey said, rolling her eyes. “They’re dating habits are no different than yours.”
“Please I treat girls better than them. Zabini hooks up with so many girls and makes them think he’ll commit but then when they ask him, he immediately backs away. Probably because he’s too busy shagging Goyle to be willing to give that up,” Louis said.
“Not appreciating you calling Goyle ‘that’, Louis,” Audrey said, her voice stern.
“I didn’t call her that, I mean he’s not willing to stop sleeping with her,” Louis said. “Zero objectification intended. But it’s not even Zabini. At least he’s up front with girls. Malfoy knows exactly what to do to get into girls pants and then drops them without a second glance once he gets what he wants.”
My heart was beating fast at his words and I was trying to maintain a neutral expression so that my sudden guilt about what happened the night before didn’t come through.
I knew that Louis hated Malfoy. I knew that and I knew that what he was saying was probably skewed because of his opinions of Malfoy. But none of that mattered.
All I heard and all that mattered to me was the fact that Scorpius Malfoy apparently had a reputation for finding a way into girls’ pants. For finding some sort of connection with them, getting in their pants and then dropping them.
And I fell for it. I made a reckless decision to sleep with him, to have the first person I ever slept with be him, because I thought he understood the one thing that made my life so different and difficult and contributed to so many of my own issues. That he understood the pressures of the shadows of our parents.
“And these birds just fall for it and eat it up,” Louis said. “Doesn’t matter if they’re intelligent girls, as soon as Scorpius Malfoy is involved they all turn to putty.”
“Lou, girls do the same thing with you!” Audrey said. “You only hate them because they are you.”
“They’re worse,” Louis said. “Especially Malfoy. Bloke thinks he’s king of the castle and should get whatever he wants and that includes girls. Merlin, I’m just lucky that our family is all on the same page about him. I don’t know what I would do if someone ever did anything with either of them.”
I felt nauseous at his words. Not only did I fall for Malfoy’s stupid tricks, but in doing so I also felt as though I had betrayed my family because of their stupid rivalry with him.
The first time in so long that I had been careless, that I hadn’t thought my actions through, and I ended up losing my virginity to a guy who will just add a notch in belt and who my family couldn’t even stand.
Even if Malfoy wasn’t a jerk, the fact that my family despised him would make it impossible for it to ever go beyond that.
“I have to go,” I said suddenly, needing to be out of there so that I could process all of this. “I, um, just remembered that I left my Arithmency book in the library and I need to make sure I don’t lose it.”
"Are you okay?” Audrey asked giving me a funny look.
“Yeah, I just need to do that before I forget,” I said, standing up and not making eye contact with them.
“Rose you haven’t even eaten anything,” Louis said.
I grabbed a biscuit. “I’ll eat it on the way. Bye guys.”
I walked away quickly, taking a bite of the biscuit out of stress. As I exited out of the Great Hall, I took a sharp right, and slammed right into someone’s back.
“Ow!” I said, looking at the ground where my biscuit now sat.
I looked up at the body I ran into and wanted to scream.
Scorpius Malfoy gave me a smirk as he turned and I felt my insides churn.
“Hey Rose,” he said. “We got to stop meeting like this.”
“No,” I said, walking away. “No, no, no.”
“Rose?” Scorpius said, jogging to catch up with me. “Hey, woah are you okay? You look anxious.”
“I don’t want to talk to you,” I said, trying to keep moving. My heart was beating so fast I could hear it in my ears and all I wanted to be away and stop hearing you made a huge mistake playing over and over again my head.
“Wait, what?” Scorpius asked, confused. He grabbed my arm gently, slowing me down enough for him to get in front of me and stop me from walking. I was very grateful that during my speed walk, I had managed to walk far enough away that we couldn’t be seen from the Great Hall Entrance. “Rose what’s wrong?”
My heart skipped a beat at the fact that he had called me Rose this whole time, the fact that he seemed genuinely concerned about me.
My head however just kept replaying the words that Louis said about how he managed to fake a connection with girls.
“I don’t want to talk to you,” I said, feeling my blood pounding through me. “You don’t know me. And I don’t want you to.”
“What?” Scorpius said, seeming hurt by my words. “Rose if this is about last night-“
“I don’t want to talk about last night,” I said quickly. “I don’t want to talk to you. I want nothing to do with you.”
“No, we’re done,” I said. “I don’t want to talk to you, Malfoy.”
Scorpius looked at me, his mouth slightly open and his eyes confused. My heart was beating loud and I felt my blood coursing through my veins as if it was vibrating and I knew that an anxiety attack was coming, almost fully here, yet as I looked into Malfoy’s eyes, I almost felt myself calming down. I almost felt as though the connection we had the night before wasn’t made up in my head, that he did empathize with me and that if I told him what was going on, he would listen and understand what I was talking about.
But I heard Louis’s words more, heard myself saying not to fall for his tricks again, felt the anxiety coursing through at the fear of being made a fool of again, of disappointing my family again.
So with that I pulled my arm out of his grasp and walked swiftly away from him until I found an empty alcove by the kitchens, far away from anyone, and fell apart.
Since the day after Halloween, my life had more or less returned to normal. I had made peace with the fact that Scorpius and I had slept together and that I fell for his charms. I hadn’t told anyone about that night and, quite honestly, I wasn’t sure I was planning to.
But I did find myself wondering how true Louis’s words were about Scorpius and his love life. At least the part about him faking a connection and then tossing girls aside. His actual sexual history did not bother me.
I questioned Louis’s words because the day after Halloween, Scorpius had seen so sincere when asking me what was wrong and hurt when I lashed out at him. He was even acting as if I hurt him, or at least his ego the past few weeks.
He was avoiding looking at me and refused to speak to me. While we never spoke much anyway, he would sometimes greet me when we sit near each other in class or ask me questions about assignments when I saw him in the library. But that all disappeared. He was respecting the fact that I told him I didn’t want to talk to him. Even though I hadn’t given him a reason or a justification, he heard me and was doing it.
And it only stung a little that he no longer would look at me.
His behavior also made me wonder if he had told anyone. I had assumed that he would have and that some rumor would spread around, but I heard nothing. His friends Emily and Alex were the same to me as ever, being polite, but not overly friendly.
“What’s going on with you and Malfoy?” Chloe asked one day during Charms. Flitwick was lecturing, so we were sure to keep our voices down.
“What do you mean?” I asked, mimicking the motion Flitwick had just made.
“You guys aren’t talking,” Chloe whispered. “Not that you ever really talked but he doesn’t even look at you or greet you. He treats you like he treats Louis and Al, minus all the dumb masculinity stare contests.”
“I don’t know,” I said back, my gaze wondering to the back of Malfoy’s head, where he sat one row and three people to left of me. “We never talked much. It’s not a big deal.”
“It just seems weird,” Chloe said. “I don’t know, you guys were always friendly, and there always was this weird, flirtatious vibe whenever you guys would talk, even if you were just asking him about the Defense homework. It just seems like he’s avoiding you for some reason.”
I bit my lip, focusing on reading the section Flitwick just told us to read. Chloe too, started reading and dropped the topic of Malfoy’s sudden avoidance of me almost all together.
When class was over we stood up, and Chloe immediately started groaning.
“Ugh,” she said, putting a hand on her stomach. “My period is killing me this month.”
I frowned. “You are already on your period?”
“Yeah,” Chloe said, giving me a strange look. “Shouldn’t you have had yours last week? My potion makes me a week later than you right?
“I thought so,” I said, suddenly doing mental math, as we walked out of the room.
“I’m on day four of mine,” Chloe said. “So yours definitely should have started by now.”
“Yeah,” I said, my breath catching in my throat.
The Halloween Party was three and a half weeks ago. I was supposed to have my period seven days ago. I started thinking about how nauseous I had been lately, how I attributed that to stress and guilt and anxiety.
My mind filled with words about conception and ovulation and I was trying to remember more details about that night and if we were safe.
I saw Malfoy standing a little away from me and almost in a daze I immediately darted towards him, ignoring Chloe’s confused calls after me.
I walked right up to him, where he was talking with Zabini. Zabini must have heard Chloe’s calls after me, because he looked over at her with a confused expression. Malfoy however looked directly at me, probably confused as to why, after nearly four weeks of avoiding him, I was suddenly standing in front of him, my face white with anxiety.
“Did we use protection?” I blurted out.
Chloe had caught up to me, heard me ask Malfoy this, and I felt her and Zabini’s confused stares looking at me, and the looks of understanding when they connected the dots as to what exactly I was asking Malfoy.
Malfoy looked just as confused and alarmed. “What?”
“Did we use protection?” I asked, desperately hoping for him to say we did.
“Holy shit,” Chloe said to herself.
“Holy shit is right,” Alex said quietly in agreement.
“Malfoy?” I asked, feeling more and more nauseous by the minute.
“I don’t remember,” Malfoy said, still seemingly confused. “Why does it-“
And before he could finish his sentence, I puked all over his shoes.
Thank you so much for reading!
Chapter 3: Chapter 3
The more attention I kept off of myself, the more I could blend in and pretend, even for a little while, that I had a normal life.
“Oh gross,” Zabini said, as I puked my guts up onto Scorpius.
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” I said, using my sleeve to wipe my mouth. “I’m so, so, sorry.”
“It’s um, fine,” Malfoy said. “A little more concerned with what you were asking than the vomit, quite honestly.”
“Oh right,” I said. I pulled my wand out to clean the puke off of his shoes.
I tried to think of what to say, but how did you say that you suddenly realized that you hadn’t gotten your period with someone you had been ignoring since you slept with them?
Scorpius took in my silence before nodding. “We should probably get you to the hospital wing huh?”
I looked up at him, feeling grateful, before remembering why I had been ignoring him for four weeks. So instead of making my thanks known to him, I simply nodded.
Malfoy clapped Zabini on the shoulder. “I’ll see you later.”
“Rose do you want me to come with you?” Chloe asked, and I saw her looking at Scorpius as though she didn’t trust him.
“Um, no?” I said, not really sure what I wanted. I didn’t even want this to be happening, but I wasn’t exactly sure that I wanted a whole audience there as well.
Chloe raised her eyebrows at me, clearly wanting a more secure answer than that.
“I’ll be okay,” I said, trying to find more even tone of voice. “I’ll catch up with you later? Go meet up with Al; if we both don’t show up he’ll worry and I don’t really want that. Just, don’t tell him about this okay?”
Chloe nodded, but I could tell she still wasn’t thrilled about leaving me alone with Malfoy, making it clear that Al’s grudge against Malfoy had expanded to her too.
“Merlin, he already potentially knocked her up what else could he do to her?” Zabini said.
“I feel that is enough for me not to want him around her,” Chloe said. With one last dirty look at Malfoy and Zabini, and one last smile at me, Chloe walked away.
“Could you maybe not be a dick for once?” Malfoy asked, with an annoyed look at Zabini.
“Not a dick, just didn’t like how she was treating leaving Weasley with you like you were the antichrist,” Zabini said. “Well, I’m off to find Emily. Good luck you too. Here’s to hoping that this doesn’t get any worse than puking on his shoes. Hope the lack of protection was worth it.”
Malfoy flipped him off as he walked away, before turning to me.
“So, off we go, I guess,” Malfoy said.
“You’re coming?” I asked, slightly in shock.
“Yeah,” Malfoy said, starting in the direction of the hospital wing. “Just because you haven’t spoken to me in four weeks does not mean that I’m going to wait to find out if I’m a father until you decide to talk to me again.”
I was taken aback by how harsh his voice sounded, it was such a contrast to how he was talking before, but I also was able to understand his anger. He had been so nice to me, had tried to talk to me the day after, and I completely shut him out and probably never would have talked to him again if it hadn’t been for me realizing that I could potentially be pregnant.
I also knew that even if I wanted to talk to him more about it, that this was not the place, we had already risked being overheard by talking about it enough. I looked behind me, trying to make sure no one was near by and hoping that no one heard our conversations and leaked it to the press.
Being pregnant or potentially pregnant was one issue, I didn’t need the image of boring perfection to get ruined as well by some petty gossip. It was my role, my way of dealing with the fame that was forced upon me because of my parents. I was always polite to the press, got perfect grades, became Prefect and then Head Girl, always keeping my cool in front of the press, only to lose it in private.
But the perfect image had eventually begun to seep into my normal life too. As I got older and began to see the stress in my parents’ lives, between the jobs, family, raising me and Hugo, I realized that when I argued with them or did anything out of what was expected, I was causing more stress. So the need for perfection began to start to become a daily part of my life, always keeping cool even when my natural temper said otherwise, keeping my head down instead of standing up for myself, not going to parties or dating or even flirting with boys; the more attention I kept off of myself, the more I could blend in and pretend, even for a little while, that I had a normal life.
All of us kids had ways of dealing with the Potter-Weasley fame and while it certainly affected everyone, it affected us children of the Golden Trio the most, since there was more of an interest in what we were doing and if we were going to be like our parents. My way of dealing with it was being so perfect, I was boring and thus had no attention. James, however, did the opposite. James was Al’s older brother and had an image that he was more than okay with: Bad Boy with the Heart of Gold.
Since James was the oldest, he was naturally the one people were most interested in when he started Hogwarts, which James completely reveled in. He was charming, witty and good looking, meaning that any of the drunk escapades he got into or any of the fights he got into when the press got to close to him were quickly forgotten with a smile from him and an apology. Once he got drafted to Puddlemere United right out of Hogwarts helped him, since people just attributed any bad behavior of his to his athlete lifestyle, and not the truth that James knows he can do whatever he wants and therefore doesn’t set any boundries for himself.
Albus, on the other hand, didn’t seem to care about the press as much. He tended to try to just live his life as if the whole world isn’t watching his every move, which has made him boring to the press. He was really only ever in the paper if he was featured with Chloe. When Albus and Chloe started dating two years ago, they quickly became a favorite couple for the Prophet to post about, since they were the first relationship that any of us had.
Hugo and Lily were, fortunately, not prone to nearly as much attention from the press, especially since James’s bad boy habits elevated and Al and Chloe were dating. It was as if because they were the last two, people were less interested in them, especially when James, Al and I were given them so much to focus on.
Yes, despite my perfect, never stepping a toe out of line image, the press was still interested in me. It felt as though they were waiting for the façade to fall, for me to prove that I was not as perfect as I pretended to be.
And of course, the one time I hadn’t thought things through completely is what might lead me to shatter the perfect image I had created to everyone around me.
But even as I looked at Scorpius walking slightly ahead of me, his body language tense and still angry with me, I couldn’t make myself regret that night. I had been trying the past month to stop thinking about the way he kissed me and the pull I felt to him, knowing that it was probably a ruse to get in my pants didn’t stop me from wanting to spend more time with him. Knowing my perfect reputation might have one hell of a black mark on it made it difficult to even think of that night in a negative way because Malfoy had been so kind and gentle and I felt safe, which is why I slept with him.
I only wish that we had actually been safe protection wise as well.
“Mr. Malfoy, hello,” Madam Pomfrey said as we entered the Hospital wing. “Oh, Miss Weasley, nice to see you too. Must say, I am surprised to see the two of you together.”
Madam Pomfrey laughed, yet stopped when Scorpius and I didn’t join in. She cleared her throat before speaking again.
“Anyway, what can I do for you both?” she asked.
Scorpius looked at me, clearly expecting me to answer the question that awkwardly hung in the air.
“I…” I said, but I found I couldn’t get the words out as the realization hit me.
I could be pregnant. I needed a pregnancy test. I could have a person growing inside of me and I didn’t know what to do.
I started breathing heavily, trying to keep my anxieties down.
“Ms. Weasley are you alright?” Madam Pomfrey asked, noticing my change in breath.
“Um,” I said, trying to get the words out between breaths. “Um, I, uh, I need, um.”
I felt a hand tentatively touch the small of my back and saw see Scorpius’s arm reaching out to me, his hand barely touching my skin. I looked up at his face and noticed he wasn’t looking at me, instead looking at Madam Pomfrey. His face seemed completely calm and neutral and I was unsure how he could remain so during one of the potentially biggest turning points in both of our lives.
“We, um, we need a test,” Scorpius said quietly. “A pregnancy test.”
I looked around, feeling grateful that no one was in the Hospital Wing at that time. The words were echoing in my head and I felt so stupid for letting this happen. I felt myself move slightly closer to Scorpius, as if hoping to become calm like him simply through osmosis.
“Oh,” Madam Pomfrey said, her eyes wide and her shock hidden horribly. “Yes, of course. Follow me.”
Scorpius pulled his hand away from my back, following Madam Pomfrey, causing me to miss his touch and the weird, calming energy he seemed to have on me. Despite myself, I made a move to grab his hand, hoping to still feeling the calm, but as soon as our hands touched he pulled his hand out of my grasp and kept walking.
I then understood that he was still upset with me for not speaking to him for so long and that he only provided me comfort because I was so visibly upset.
“Mr. Malfoy, I’m assuming that you would be the father?” Madam Pomfrey asked as she showed us to the back bed of the hospital.
Scorpius held a hand out to help me onto the hospital bed, before sitting in the chair next to it. “Yes.”
“Alright then.” Madam Pomfrey waved her wand, causing the curtains to close around us, giving us some sort of privacy. She turned to me. “Ms. Weasley, is it okay if Mr. Malfoy is here for your test? You have every right to say no if you would rather he wait somewhere else. Your stomach will be exposed.”
Scorpius moved to stand up, clearly expecting me to ask him to leave.
“No, he can stay,” I said. “I want him to.” Scorpius looked at me, in shock over what I had just said. I turned my attention back to Madam Pomfrey as Scorpius slowly sat down. “What do you need me to do?
“Just lay down dear and pull your shirt up so that it doesn’t cover your belly,” Madam Pomfrey said.
I took my robe off and Scorpius held his hand out, offering to hold it for me. I gave him a small smile before laying down and pulling my sweater up to below my bra.
“Alright, Ms. Weasley,” Madam Pomfrey said. She pulled a small jar out. “I will be rubbing this on your stomach, over the uterus. It will turn to a jelly when it is done and I will take it back to my office, in order to pull the results from it.”
“Okay,” I said, my voice getting caught in my throat. I took some deep breaths, trying to keep the anxieties at bay.
The cream was cold when Madam Pomfrey applied it to my stomach and immediately my skin started tingling. Quickly, it turned to jelly and Madam Pomfrey waved her wand, and the jelly flew into an empty jar next to her.
“Alright then, I will be back in around 10 minutes,” she said.
“Could you close the curtains?” I asked. “I want to talk to Scorpius in private.
“Of course,” Madam Pomfrey said, screwing the cap on the jar.
“Thank you,” I said.
“Yes, thank you,” Scorpius said. When the curtains were all the way shut behind us, he looked at me. “What do you want to talk about Weasley?”
I frowned at his tone—it wasn’t angry or upset, if anything, it was almost casual, as if we had just ran into each other at Hogsmeade or I was asking him about an assignment.
“Don’t you want to know why I haven’t been talking to you?” I asked.
Scorpius shrugged. “I don’t know, you regretted what happened, you felt ashamed, you realized you hated me-“
“Those aren’t even close,” I said. “I didn’t regret it. I was happy when I woke up next to you. I didn’t want to leave that morning.”
“You did though,” Scorpius said. “Didn’t even say anything either.”
“I know,” I said. “I was so worried about getting out without anyone seeing me and if I woke you up I knew that I probably wouldn’t be able to.” I smiled at him. “Did you know that you said my name in your sleep?”
Scorpius’s eyes widened and his cheeks turned slightly pink. “What?”
“I moved away from you and immediately you said my name and moving your hand over where I had been sleeping, like you were looking for me,” I said.
“Merlin that’s embarrassing,” Scorpius said under his breath.
“I don’t think so,” I said softly. “To be fair I stole one of your jackets.”
Scorpius smirked at me. “Needed something to remember me by, huh Weasley?”
I rolled my eyes at him, feeling my face turn red.
“And then the next time I see you, you refuse to talk to me,” Scorpius said, bringing the light, almost flirtatious air to the conversation back to a serious tone. “And tell me we’re done. Then you go on to ignore me for four weeks until you run up to me, asking about whether we remembered to use protection and then throw up on my shoe.” Scorpius shook his head. “Yeah, I’m a little confused by your behavior, I guess. Because that was a shitty thing to do.”
“Like you were so hurt by it,” I said, more to myself than to him, recalling Louis’s words.
“I mean it didn’t feel great,” Scorpius defended. He stood up from his chair, walking around in the little space we had, clearly frustrated. “I’m not going to say that I thought we’d be off getting married, but I did think that maybe you would be able to talk to me or we could you know, go on a date or something? I kind of got the impression that maybe you thought I was an interesting bloke and I thought that maybe, just maybe, I was interesting enough for you to date.”
My heart spend up at his words and how he remembered my drunken rambles about why I didn’t date. But quickly, what Louis had said all came back. I shook my head, knowing that he was probably only doing this, saying this, so that he didn’t look like all he wanted was the
“You don’t have to do this Malfoy,” I said, hoping my voice sounded strong. “I know what your like with girls, you don’t need to pretend that night meant anything more—“
“What I’m like with girls?” Scorpius stopped pacing and looked at me, confused. “Merlin, what are you talking about?”
“You fake a connection with them!” I said, moving so that I was sitting on the edge of the bed. “You fake the connection with them so you can get into their pants and then you don’t talk to them again.”
“Oh Merlin, who told you that shit?” Scorpius said. “Listen, I’m not going to say I’ve been chaste or anything, but I didn’t just use girls for that. Vanessa Bauer was just not very pleased when I rejected her at the beginning of the year and decided to spread that around.”
I gulped listening to his words. Vanessa Bauer was Scorpius’s on and off again girlfriend and she had a habit of embellishing details in order to skew things her way. So the idea that she would say that Scorpius treats girls awfully definitely checked out.
“Weasley,” Scorpius said. He walked towards me so that he was only a foot or two away from where I sat on the bed. “I understand why you would believe that. I’m not exactly the best when it comes to dating. But I kind of wish you had talked about that with me before now, when we’re a high stress situation that could alter our lives completely.”
“So, if it didn’t mean nothing, what did that night mean to you?” I asked softly, unable to contain myself. I believed what he said, that while he wasn’t chaste, he also didn’t use girls just for sex, but I needed to know if what he was saying was actually true or just because we were in this situation. “Pretend that we’re not in the hospital wing, waiting to find out if I’m pregnant. Before any of the stuff that has happened the past four weeks happened, did that night mean anything to you?”
“Yeah,” Scorpius said. “It meant something. Rose…” I felt my stomach flip as he used my first name for the first time in this conversation. “Rose, it’s not like I’ve been secretly harboring a love for you or anything, but I always sort of liked you. I always thought that you were smart, intelligent and funny, in a weird sort of way that only you could be funny about school. I liked talking with you, which is why I would ask you so many questions about school. Do you really think I don’t pay attention in so many classes that I need to ask you what the homework is nearly everyday?”
“I never really thought about,” I confessed.
“Wow, you know how to make a man feel good,” he said, smirking. “I guess, I always kind of liked you and thought you were interesting and hell, forget what even happened that night, just talking to you was great. It was nice to know someone who understood what it was like to be in a parent’s shadow and when you kissed me, I don’t I guess that night really just made me think that something more was possible here than just classmates. Even though it would have pissed a lot of people off, it seemed like there was a connection between us that went beyond acquaintances.”
I took a deep breath, digesting his words. Slowly, I got up off the bed, taking the few steps I needed to to get closer to him.
“I thought so too,” I said softly. I slowly brought my eyes up to his. “But then I heard about how you treated girls and I just got worried and I freaked out. And I’m not really good at dealing with things when I am scared.”
“I understand,” Scorpius said. “Like I said, I wished we had talked about it earlier and not while in the Hospital Wing, waiting for some pretty life altering news, but it is what it is.”
“And you would have wanted to continue exploring whatever this is?” I asked. His gaze was intense on me and I couldn’t help but scan his face, my gaze stopping for just one second on his lips. “Even if we weren’t where we are right now?”
“Yeah,” Scorpius said. “I wanted to see what would have happened.”
I stood up on my toes, bringing my hands to his face. Slowly, and gently, I placed my lips on his, as if testing the waters. Scorpius kissed me back his hands finding a spot on my hips as he pulled me closer to him so that our bodies were flush against one another.
My hands moved down to his shoulders and inner locked behind his neck. Scorpius’s kisses were intoxicating and I found myself being completely removed from the current situation, and instead only focusing on how Scorpius’s mouth felt against mine.
“Excuse me,” Madam Pomfrey said quietly.
I immediately pulled away from Scorpius and I could feel my face heating up in embarrassment.
“So sorry,” I said quietly, trying to get my face to stop burning up.
“It’s quite alright,” Madam Pomfrey said. “What you two were doing was very mild compared to what some people have tried to do in the hospital wing.”
“Still, we’re very sorry,” Scorpius said quietly.
“Yes, well, it is what it is,” Madam Pomfrey said. “I have the results here.” Madam Pomfrey held up an envelope and I felt my whole body tense up at the reminder of why Scorpius and I were even here in the first place. “I can open it for you or I can leave and let you two open it in private.”
“Private,” I said quickly. I don’t think I could have handled hearing the possible words come out of her mouth if that test said the thing I was dreading.
“Alright then,” Madam Pomfrey said. “Please come find me before you leave.”
“Thank you Madam Pomfrey,” Scorpius said as she exited.
I slowly sat down on the bed, staring at the blank envelope. Scorpius sat down next to me.
“Do you want to open it?” I asked.
“I can if you want me to,” Scorpius said softly.
My heart was beating so intensely I felt it in my ears. I knew that the envelope would answer so many questions, however it could also bring a whole new series of complications into my life too.
So slowly, I began to open the envelope, pulling out the piece of parchment that was tucked inside. I held the parchment between me and Scorpius so that both of us could read it.
Results: Pregnant, 4 weeks
Projected due date: August 5th
Mother: Rose Weasley
Father: Scorpius Malfoy
Tears immediately sprang to my eyes and I took a deep breath in as I digested the words.
Next to me, Scorpius softly muttered “Fuck”, before slowly wrapping an arm around me.
I leaned into him, my face finding his chest, and feeling all emotions fade away from me as the words on the page repeated themselves in my head.
Pregnant. Four Weeks. Due Date August 5th.
I felt Scorpius rest his head on mine.
“What are we going to do?” I asked softly.
“I don’t know,” Scorpius said. “I don’t know.”
Thank you so much for reading!
For those who have read on other sites know, this story sometimes has alternating viewpoints, so you may see Scorpius soon! This is Rose's story first, bu there are certain scenes/situations/plot points that I have already told through his POV that I'm not sure how to rewrite. So there's a challenge for me and change in pace for you! Those will probably start to trickle their way in soon!
Chapter 4: Chapter 4
“This is quite the interesting development. I always thought that you two didn’t socialize very much.”
“We didn’t,” I said.
“And then we did,” Scorpius said. “And then we didn’t. And then she puked on my shoes. And now we’re here.
Warning: Discussion about ending pregnancy/abortion in the following chapter.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
“Ms. Weasley, Mr. Malfoy,” Professor McGonagall said when she opened the door into her office. “This is quite the surprise to see you both here, especially together. This is not a behavior visit I hope? You weren’t sent to see me?”
“Um, no Professor,” I said, walking over to the chair in front of her desk and sitting down. “It was recommended though.”
“Recommended?” McGonagall asked, motioning Scorpius to sit down in the chair next to me before she went to her seat behind her desk. She conjured a tea pot, pouring herself a cup. “Recommended by whom?”
I placed my book bag on my lap, trying to desperately to hide my stomach, as if I could somehow pretend that I had control on the situation. It had been roughly two hours since Scorpius and I had found out that I was pregnant. Madam Pomfrey had brought us into her office and explained the possible course of action we could take at this point in the pregnancy, before suggesting that we talk to McGonagall. She said by discussing it with McGonagall, she could set us up with professionals who could help guide our decision and that way it would be easier to make arrangements if we decided not to keep the baby. I held Scorpius’s hand through the whole meeting, needing something to ground me, because I was so full of anxiety about our decision that I was worried I would run away, cry, not learn about my options and have a baby because I didn’t learn what my options were.
“Madam Pomfrey,” Scorpius said quietly. I took a deep breath, the parchment in my bag that had the test results and the options for how to move forward feeling heavy in my bag.
McGonagall scowled, clearly confused. “Madam Pomfrey? Why on earth would she recommend you come to see me? Normally she only recommends students come see me in extreme health cases and never is it two students. Are both of you extremely ill?”
“I’m not ma’am,” Scorpius said. “I wouldn’t exactly use ill to describe Rose either.”
“Alright then,” McGonagall said. She put her tea down, clasping her hands together before leaning forward on the desk. “Then why are you both here under the recommendation of Madam Pomfrey?”
Scorpius looked at me, clearly unsure if it would be okay for him to tell her or if I wanted to tell her myself. I avoided eye contract with him, instead pulling at the zipper of my bag, ensuring that it was shut all the way.
“Rose?” Scorpius said quietly. “Is it okay if I tell her or do you want to?”
Damn him and his politeness and ensuring that it’s okay if he tells her. Damn him and his sweetness.
“Ms. Weasley?” McGonagall said, expectedly.
“I, um,” I said quietly. I gulped, looking McGonagall in the eye, trying to keep myself from throwing up as I said the words out loud for the first time.
I pushed all my feelings away, taking a deep breath, and refusing to allow myself to feel anything. If I allowed myself to feel something, to have any sort of reaction as to what I was going to say, anxiety, fear, nausea, and tears would set in and I would not be able to function. So I did what I always did when I was surrounded when I didn’t want to be. I pushed all of my emotions away and composed myself, feeling suddenly grateful for the years of not allowing myself to feel anything in front of the press.
“I- I’m pregnant,” I said, my voice flat and devoid of emotion.
McGonagall’s eyes widened, clearly not expecting that. She turned towards Scorpius.
“I am assuming that you are the father if you are here?” she said, bluntly.
“Yes,” Scorpius said, meeting her straight forward tone head on.
“Well then,” McGonagall said. “This is quite the interesting development. I always thought that you two didn’t socialize very much.”
“We didn’t,” I said.
“And then we did,” Scorpius said. “And then we didn’t. And then she puked on my shoes. And now we’re here.”
“Fascinating story, Mr. Malfoy,” McGonagall said, though she clearly thought that it was anything but. “Well, since you have already discussed it with Madam Pomfrey, I assume you know how far along you are?”
“Four weeks,” I said. “Projected due date August 5th.”
McGonagall nodded. “Well then. How can I help you both with this process? I assume that Pomfrey spoke to you about your options regarding your pregnancy, Ms. Weasley?”
“Yes she did,” I said.
“Do you have any inkling of which way you will decide?”
“No,” I said. “I am not sure what to do. Scorpius, do you have any opinions?”
Scorpius’s eyes widened, clearly in shock that I asked him this.
“Well, I have my own thoughts,” Scorpius said. “But I think that you need to do what is best for you Rose. You’re the one who is pregnant and will have to do most of the heavy lifting, so to me, your opinion and choice on that is more important than mine.”
I couldn’t help but smile at him but also feel curious as to what his feelings actually were regarding keeping the pregnancy or getting rid of it.
“Mr. Malfoy, that is very selfless of you to say,” McGonagall said. “Do keep in mind Ms. Weasley, that even if you decide to keep the pregnancy does not mean that you have to keep the child. There are many people in the Wizarding World who have trouble conceiving. Adoption is always an option as well.”
Scorpius frowned at this and clearly not a fan of the possible adoption.
“Thank you, Professor,” I said.
“Now, we will have to discuss your role as Head Girl,” McGonagall said, taking a sip of her tea.
My heart dropped at her words, the thought of losing my Head Girl position never occurring to me. I had worked so hard for the title of Head Girl, took so much pride in being Head Girl, knew that being Head Girl would help me get into healing schools, that knowing that being pregnant could affect that, could affect everything I had worked so hard for, made me want to make a decision right now that I had not fully thought through.
Scorpius, seeming to notice my change in demeanor, reached over, gently touching my hand, before grabbing it with his own. I squeezed it tightly, trying to bring myself to listen to what McGonagall had to say before running back to the hospital wing and Madam Pomfrey making everything like Halloween had never happened.
“A Head Girl is supposed to be an exemplary student, with a close to perfect record, someone who the student body of Hogwarts can look up to,” McGonagall said. “Your mother was an excellent Head Girl and this position helped her become the Minister of Magic. People in this position have the potential to do great things and are role models for all the students they lead.”
I nodded, feeling my heart breaking as I absorbed her words. I took a deep breath, forcing myself to push all my emotions inward. “I understand Professor.”
McGonagall looked at her, a stern expression on her face. “For many, an incident like this would be enough cause to lose that title, for the sheer irresponsibility that it shows. Many students wouldn’t even be able to continue their education at Hogwarts, especially with the course load that you are taking Ms. Weasley.”
I broke eye contact with her, squeezing Scorpius’s hand as I tried to keep myself composed.
“However, something that I have learned from educating you as well as both of your parents is that you are not like most people, Ms. Weasley,” McGonagall said, her tone shifting from discipline to almost praise. “You are a very bright and capable student Ms. Weasley, just like both your parents were before you. You have a spotless record, making this your first incident of concern, but it is not as though other people in this castle are not partaking in the activity that got you here as well. If you believe that you can handle it and you feel comfortable with all of your current responsibilities on top of this new challenge, I see no reason why you cannot continue to remain as Head Girl.”
Hearing her words, I immediately broke into a smile, feeling so incredibly undeserving of her faith in me.
“Now, if you begin to not be able to uphold your duties or the duties get to be too much for you, you can still step down. But I see no reason why I should ask you to step down yet,” McGonagall said, sending me a small smile. “You are unlike any other student before you, your mother included. I believe that you can do this. Do you?”
“Yes,” I said, feeling the weight of the fear of losing my spot taken off of my shoulders. “Yes, I believe I can do it.”
“Alright then,” McGonagall said. “Are the two of you planning to tell your parents?”
Scorpius and I both tensed up then, since the past two hours, we had been so concerned how this would affect us individually, that we hadn’t even thought about telling our families and how awful those interactions would probably go.
“We hadn’t thought about it,” Scorpius said. He looked at me questioningly. “But we probably should?”
I bit my lip, unsure. I knew that telling my parents, my dad especially, was going to be a disaster. But I also knew that I needed to tell them before they heard it elsewhere, such as if it somehow leaked.
“We should tell them,” I said. “They may be able to help with a decision about what to do.”
“Alright then. Would you like to tell them together or separately?”
“Well it’s going to be a shitshow no matter what, so why not together?” Scorpius said. McGonagall eyed him for swearing and he quickly corrected himself. “It’s going to be a disaster. Sorry Professor.”
“Well I can’t say I disagree with you Mr. Malfoy,” McGonagall said. “No matter. I will write owls to both of your families and have them meet this weekend? I will let them argue over at whose house and what time. Ms. Weasley would you like your brother there?”
“Yes please,” I said. “Hugo should know when my parents do.”
“Wonderful,” McGonagall said. “I will start that and make the proper arrangements. I will inform you both of the time that you are expected here this weekend to Floo to your parents. Do you have any other questions?”
“No,” we both said.
“Ms. Weasley, if you need anything from me or Madam Pomfrey, please ask us. We hope to help you in any way that we can.”
“Thank you Professor,” I said quietly.
"Well, goodnight to you both,” McGonagall said, standing up. Scorpius and I both took this as our cue to stand and head towards the door as well. “I will see you both this weekend when I send you both off to what I’m sure will be a very heated meeting with your parents.”
I gave her a half smile, feeling my shoulders tense up when thinking about how awfully that meeting would actually be. Scorpius, who had dropped my hand when we stood up, placed his palm in mine, interlocking our fingers.
“Goodnight Professor,” he said, before pulling me down the stairs gently.
McGonagall shut her door and I felt one weight lifted off my shoulders and another one added on. Scorpius slowly walked towards the statue to let us out, but I knew that as soon as we left this little private staircase, we wouldn’t be able to talk.
“Scorpius?” I said softly, pulling back on his hand slightly.
He turned around, giving me a questioning look. On the stairs, we were almost eyelevel. He smiled softly at me, clearly confused as to why I stopped him.
I reached forward, wrapping my hands around his neck and pushing myself as close to him as possible in a tight hug. He wrapped his arms around my waist and brought his face to my neck, breathing me in.
“Thank you for everything you’ve done the past few hours,” I whispered quietly. “I hate this situation that we are in but you’re helping a lot.”
“I’m glad,” Scorpius said. “Thank you for letting me be a part of it.”
He pulled back slightly, so that we were face to face. “What are you thinking regarding the pregnancy? We don’t need to tell our parents if you are going to get rid of it. May add a little too much extra drama and stress into our lives.”
“I don’t know,” I said. “But I think telling our parents might actually help me at least attempt to figure it out.”
Scorpius nodded, his brow furrowed.
“What would you want me to do?” I asked gently.
“It’s not really my place,” Scorpius said.
"Yeah, but I want to know,” I said. “The more information I have the more helpful it would be.”
Scorpius sighed. “Well, if you want me to be honest, I don’t want you to get rid of it. I would want to have the baby and raise it, with or without you. That’s my kid; I don’t really want it to be taken away.”
I took a deep breath and nodded, taking in his words.
“But, ultimately, you have to decide if you want to carry the baby. You’re the one that has to deal with the hard part, so my opinion means a lot less than yours does,” Scorpius said.
I smiled at him, feeling very grateful to be in this awful situation with him. Many people either would have chosen to not be honest if I asked or insist that I have the baby regardless, not even taking into account the physical, emotional, and mental toll it would take on me. My gaze wandered down to his lips, and I felt the overwhelming draw to them again.
I leaned forward, giving him a firm kiss, hoping that my gratitude of him would get across in that few second kiss before we pulled away.
“I should probably get back to the common room,” I said. “Chloe is probably worried.”
“Yeah I’m sure Alex has filled Emily in, so I have that to look forward to when I get to them,” Scorpius said.
“I don’t know about you, but I would rather tell as few people as possible until we know what we’re doing,” I said. “And to allow ourselves some time to actual process this with more than just two hours of knowing.”
“Okay,” Scorpius said. “Do you want me to walk you back to your Common Room?”
“No, I’ll be okay,” I said. I pulled myself closer to him one more time, resting my head on his shoulder letting out a very tired breath. “I’m pregnant.”
Scorpius ran a hand up and down my back soothingly. “Yeah.”
I pulled away, looking him in the eye. “See you Saturday?”
“Of course,” Scorpius replied. “I’ll see you then.”
Scorpius leaned forward, quickly kissing my head before I walked out the door of the office, and the farther away from him I got, the more I felt the anxiety rise in my chest.
I walked slowly to the Common Room, trying to count to one hundred in my head, a trick my mum had taught me to ground myself when everything felt as though it was up in the air. I was so focused on counting, that I completely ran into someone, causing myself to fall over and my book bag to fall off my shoulder and spill out across the ground.
I immediately looked for the parchment that had all the pregnancy options was not out in the open. I gave a small sigh of relieve when I saw them still in my bag, nearly out but not quite and pushed them all the way down.
“Rose are you okay?”
I looked up and saw Sam, clearly the body that I had run into when I was attempting to count.
“Yeah, sorry Sam,” I said, bending down to begin picking up my stuff. “I got very caught up in thinking and didn’t realize that I ran into you.”
Sam kneeled down across from me, picking up some of my stuff and handing it to me. “It’s okay. Anything you need to talk about?”
“No,” I said quickly. “It’s nothing. I just feel stupid for not watching where I’m going and running into you.”
“Not a big deal. Besides, if we hadn’t already met, this could qualify as a meet-cute,” Sam said, shooting me a smile.
I gave him a half smile back, feeling very uncomfortable and worried about where this conversation was going to go. Since Halloween, Sam had been nothing but nice and normal to me; we hadn’t talked about how strong he came on during the party, we went straight back into head duties, working well together as partners.
Sam handed me my last book before he stood up.
“Thanks Sam,” I said.
“You’re welcome,” Sam said, offering a hand out to help me up. I bit my lip, unsure of whether I should accept it or not, but knew that not accepting it would be more awkward than if I did. I grabbed his hand and he pulled me up, closer to him than I would have liked, before dropping my hand and allowing me to step away from him.
“Are you heading to the common room?” I ask.
“Yeah, heading there now,” Sam said. He suddenly seemed more hopeful than he had moments before. “No reason to not walk together?”
I smiled at him, nodding, but couldn’t ignore the knots in my stomach.
“How is this year treating you so far?” Sam asked. “Between your N.E.W.T.S., Head Girl duties, and healing applications?”
“It’s good,” I said. “It’s a lot and I barely have free time, but it’s going well.”
“No free time kind of sucks though,” Sam said.
I shrugged. “I don’t know what I would do with more free time, probably just study more, thus taking away free time.”
Sam laughed. “You’re very strange Rose.”
“Thank you?” I said, unsure how to take that. “How is this year for you?”
“Fine,” Sam said. “Not terribly more demanding than previous years.”
“Maybe you’re not challenging yourself enough,” I said.
“Maybe I just like to keep my time open in case someone decides to spend it with me,” Sam said, sending me a half smile.
My eyes widened at his words and I immediately broke eye contact with him, choosing instead to look at the ground a few feet ahead of me as I walked.
“Is there a reason why you always reject me, Rose?” Sam said.
“I’m not asking you out again, I’m just wondering why you always reject me, instead of just giving me a chance.”
“We are Heads together,” I said, giving the speech that I had given him twice this year already, and a modified version of the one I had given him years prior when we were Prefects together. “We work very closely together and McGonagall relies on us—“
“But what if we didn’t work together?” Sam said. “What if one of us wasn’t a Head anymore.”
“Sam, why do we need to talk about this-“
“Because I want to know if it’s just because we work together or if you actually don’t want anything to do with me,” Sam said, his voice, which had been attempting to be even getting slightly louder at the end. He took a deep breath, almost as if he was cooling himself off, before the fake sweet voice came on. “Just tell me Rose. Is the only reason you won’t date me because we work together? Because I think we would be really great as more than just Heads.”
“I…” I said, knowing the answer that I wanted to say. I understood why he thought we would be good together. We were both smart, worked hard, and had similar families. But despite the times I tried to find something about Sam I liked beyond friendship, I never was able to.
“Sam, I don’t want to hurt you,” I said, trying to put it as delicately as I could. I suddenly felt thankful that I was pregnant and Scorpius was in my life, because I was somewhat worried that if Sam had confronted me before today, I might have dated him simply to avoid awkwardness. “But I just don’t have feelings for you. And I don’t think I ever will. I’m just, not interested in dating you. I’m sorry.”
Sam nodded his jaw tight and I could tell that he wasn’t happy with what I said.
“Well fine,” Sam said. His voice was low and I could tell how angry he was. “It’s not like you’re so fucking great anyway, Weasley.”
Sam stormed off in front of me, making his way to the Common Room in a huff.
Even though I knew that I had only been honest and knew that even if I wanted to date Sam I couldn’t in my current situation, I felt incredibly guilty at causing him to have a reaction like that. He had always been very kind and understanding when I said no in the past, even though I could always tell that he was frustrated. He never took it out on me though and I was slightly shaken up by his words.
I walked into the common room quietly, feeling slightly relieved when I saw Al and Louis sitting by the fire, a game of Wizarding Chess in between them.
“Who’s winning?” I asked, sitting down next to Louis on the couch.
“Me,” they both said at the same time, before looking up at each other with an annoyed look.
“You think you’re winning?” Al said. “Are you mad?”
“Of course I’m winning,” Louis said. “I can get to your Queen in three moves.”
“Bull!” said Al. “There’s no way that you could.”
“Want to bet?”
“How about instead of arguing we actually hang out?” I suggested. “I haven’t seen you guys that much this year.”
“That’s because you’ve been too busy being Head Girl and applying to Healing Schools,” Al said, smirking. “Being Perfect Rose is very time consuming you know.”
“I am not perfect,” I said, though I knew that was a lie and in complete position to everything I tried to be. “Just ask Sam.”
“Merlin, what did the wanker do now?” Louis said.
“Asked me out again,” I said quietly. “And when I explained to him that I wasn’t interested in dating him because I didn’t have feelings for him, he got upset and said that I wasn’t special anyway before storming off.” I bit my lip. “I’ve never seen him angry like that before.”
“Is he up in the dorms?” Louis asked his voice low as he eyed the staircase to the boy’s dormitory.
“Lou, no,” I said quickly.
“Rose, the bloke is a wanker,” Louis said. “He needs to learn to take no for an answer and handle it like a fucking man.”
“It’s not okay that he gets mad at you for being honest,” Al said, glaring towards the boys dorms. “And then he wonders why you don’t want to go out with him. I think we should teach him a lesson, huh Lou?”
“Three steps ahead of you,” Louis mumbled.
“No, both of you, don’t,” I said, sternly. They looked at me, annoyed that I wasn’t letting them go. “It’s not important enough to get upset about. He will get over it and move on.”
“And if he doesn’t?” Louis asked.
“He will,” I said. “Sam is a rational, smart guy. If he truly thinks there is nothing special about me, then he’ll get over me.”
“He doesn’t need to be a dick though,” Louis said.
“I agree,” I said. “But you don’t need to be dicks either by immediately beating him up.”
“Rose it’s our duty,” Al said. “Not that you can’t take care of yourself, but when you are not being respected, we do get to hurt people not respecting you.”
“Or guys who are just arseholes in general to you,” Louis said. “Rose, we promised to protect you when we were five. We take that very seriously.”
“You don’t need to anymore,” I said, feeling slightly annoyed at their insistence. “I’m 17. I don’t need to be protected.”
“Yeah but we want to,” Al said. “So, if we promise not to do anything to Sam, will you please just let us silently think that we can protect you?”
I sighed. “Fine. That seems like as fair of a compromise as I’m going to get.”
“Probably,” Louis said, only half listening to me as Al moved his pawn.
I smiled at them, both not paying attention to me and focusing on the game, feeling very grateful to come back to them after a long, exhausting day full of one too big of a surprise. Thinking about my pregnancy, I suddenly realized that while Chloe was there to hear I might be, she didn’t know what actually happened.
“Hey Al, where’s Chloe?” I asked.
Al shrugged. “I don’t know.”
I frowned, confused. Chloe and Al almost always knew where each other were. “You don’t know?”
“She might be studying? I don’t know, I haven’t seen her since dinner,” Al said. His attention was fully on the game, not concerned that he didn’t know where his girlfriend was.
Which was very out of character for Al. He was the bloke who knew where his girlfriend was, who liked to make sure she was safe. During the summer when Chloe was travelling with her family, Chloe wrote Al whenever they went to a new hotel so that he could know where she was in case something happened. It was very odd for him not to know where she was and seem not to care at all.
“Okay,” I said. “Well, I’m going to go to bed then.”
“Bye Rose,” Al said.
“Bye Rosie,” Louis said. “See you tomorrow.”
I walked up my dorm, wondering if I should wait for Chloe to get back or if I should just go to sleep instead. The question ended up being answered for me though, since I opened the door and Chloe was sitting on her bed, a copy of one of Audrey’s Witch Weekly Magazines in her lap.
“Finally,” she said, closing her magazine. “I’ve been waiting for you all day!”
“I was just asking Al where you were,” I said, putting my bag down near my bed. “He said he didn’t know. Which I thought was incredibly out of character for him.”
Chloe frowned and sighed, throwing the magazine over onto Audrey’s bed.
“Yeah well, Al is a mystery,” she said quietly. “But enough about Al. What happened today? Are you okay?”
I crawled onto her bed, leaning against the footboard. “Depends on your definition of okay.”
Chloe didn’t say anything, instead giving me a concerned look, clearly not wanting to ask out loud what she wanted to know.
I sighed, looking down at her bed spread, unable to make eye contact with her.
“I’m pregnant,” I whispered. “I’m okay and healthy, but…yeah.”
I look up at Chloe, whose eyes were wide with concern at my news.
“What are you going to do?” she asked quietly.
I shrugged. “We have our options. I have them in my bag.”
I summoned my bag over, pulling out the parchment with all the options on it. I handed it to Chloe so she could look at it, before burying into my bag deeper, putting the contents in front of me.
“Is there more?” Chloe asked, clearly confused as to why I was emptying my bag onto her bed.
But I was too busy tearing my bag apart, that I didn’t hear her, instead I just heard sirens going off in my head at what I realized was missing.
The piece of paper that said I was pregnant, Scorpius was the father, and when I was due was gone.
Hi! Long time no see! I am sorry for how long this is taking to come out, I am ending up having to rewrite majority of these first few chapters because of how much I dislike the original ones. This chapter was hard too because I wanted a lot more to put in, however length wise and tonely, I thought the chapter should end here. Hopefully the next chapter (which involves telling the families and a Scorpius POV!) will be much easier to revise/rewrite and I can get it out quicker!
In the meantime, if you are craving more of my stories, please check out my other fics! Hopefully you like them just as much as you like this one :)
Thank you so much for taking time to review/kudos/bookmark/subscribe. It's so wonderful to see this story being well received! See you next time!
Chapter 5: Chapter 5
The room froze. Although no one had been moving, tiny things, like Dad’s bouncing leg, Hugo’s drumming fingers, and Mrs. Malfoy’s constant nervous adjustment of her clothes, all came to a tense halt at my words.
On Saturday, Scorpius and I found ourselves sitting on the loveseat of my parents’ house, waiting for Hugo to arrive. Despite the fact that Mum and Mrs. Malfoy were quietly discussing Mum’s job as Minister, the room was tense. Dad and Mr. Malfoy clearly weren’t happy to be in the same place, their childhood feud never fully ending, and there was the obvious tense, confused energy as to why we were all together.
Green flames appeared in the fire place and Hugo appeared, his confused expression resembling Dad.
“Hi Mum, hi Dad,” Hugo said. He looked around the room, saw Scorpius parents and Scorpius and I sitting next to each other. “What’s going on?”
“We’re not sure,” Mum said. “We were waiting for you so that Rose could tell us what is happening.”
“Probably nothing good,” Dad said under his breath. Mum elbowed him, giving him a stern look. He turned toward where Scorpius and I sat. “Rosie?”
I gulped, knowing what was supposed to come next. What I was supposed to say. Scorpius was looking at me, and I knew that I could have him say it, but I also knew that my dad was going to react better hearing it from me.
I squeezed my hand, feeling my nails hit my palm, wanting nothing more than to hold Scorpius’s hand, but also knowing that was one of the quickest ways to set my father and Hugo off.
“Well,” I started, hoping that my voice wasn’t shaking with anxiety. “Mum, Dad, Hugo…Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy…I’m…I’m pregnant.”
The room froze. Although no one had been moving, tiny things, like Dad’s bouncing leg, Hugo’s drumming fingers, and Mrs. Malfoy’s constant nervous adjustment of her clothes, all came to a tense halt at my words.
“I’m the father,” Scorpius said quietly from next to me. “Which is why I’m here.”
They were so quiet, so still, that you would have thought they were stupefied. Hugo, however, was the first to overcome this shock.
“I’m sorry, what?” Hugo said. All of the eyes snapped to him. “You’re what? Malfoy is what?”
“She’s pregnant with my baby,” Scorpius said. He was fighting it, but I could tell, he was trying so hard to not to get instantly annoyed with my brother, similar to how quickly he got annoyed by Al and especially Louis. I had not considered the bias that Scorpius held against my brother and my brother’s bias against Scorpius when inviting Hugo to be here.
“Oh you have got to be fucking kidding me,” Hugo exclaimed.
“Hugo! You know the rules on swearing,” Mum said, clearly keeping her swearing rules in place, despite the current situation.
“Mum, are you listening? She’s pregnant! With this arseholes baby! Merlin how can you just sit there and not say anything?”
“Hugo Weasley now is not the time for hysterics,” Mum said, keeping her perfectly composed and constantly practiced demeanor.
“I agree,” Mrs. Malfoy said. “I’m sure none of us are thrilled about this situation, but perhaps we should let the children talk?” Mrs. Malfoy turned to us and I felt Scorpius sit up straighter next to me under her gaze. “Now how did this happen?”
“Well, Mum, I think you know how babies are made,” Scorpius said, sending a smirk to his mum, who was not amused in the slightest. Scorpius wiped the smirk off of his face, dropping the sarcastic façade. “Halloween. After Potter and Weasley’s party.”
Mum frowned, glancing at Hugo, who just said, “Lou and Al.”
Based on the look on Hugo’s face, I knew that he was thinking how bad Louis and Al would take the news of my pregnancy happening because of their party.
“So, she would be what? A month along?” Mr. Malfoy said, looking at his wife for confirmation.
I nodded, though I don’t think it was necessary too.
“Well that leaves you both with some options still,” Mrs. Malfoy said.
“Yes it does,” Mum said. “Which is good. Do you both know the options available to you right now at this point in the pregnancy?”
“I think so,” Scorpius said. “Rose, you have all that information right?”
Scorpius turned to look at me, but I wasn’t looking at him. I was looking at my father who, in a very unconventional and unexpected response, was sitting quietly next to my mum, looking at his hands, his brow furrowed, clearly deep in thought.
I had expected yelling. I expected him to get upset, not think through his words and just say whatever he wanted; I expected emotion and Ron Weasley, who’s emotions were just like mine: strong, fierce and uncontrollable.
I never thought he would be silent.
“Dad?” I said quietly. “Dad, please say something.”
Dad looked up at me, sighing before rubbing a hand over his eyes.
“I don’t know what to say Rose,” Dad said. “I just…don’t know what to say.”
“What are you thinking?” I asked, despite the fact that I already felt as though I was shaking on the brink of a break down. I knew that it couldn’t be good, I saw Mum warn me with her eyes about the dangers of the question. But I needed something from him so that my world didn’t feel completely out of sync.
“Well, I’m thinking how disappointed I am that this happened,” Dad said. “I’m thinking how someone as smart as you let this happen, and I’m going over all the times that your mother and I talked to you about sex and trying to assure myself that I did everything I could to stop this from happening by informing you about protection.”
“You did,” Hugo said, earning a glare from Mum.
I sucked in my lips, listening to my dad’s questions, questions that had been going around in my head since I found out I was pregnant. Scorpius looked between me and my dad, and I could tell that he was getting upset with my dad’s words. I reached for his hand, intertwining it into my, half to calm him down and half to attempt to ground myself from going over the brink of emotion.
“I’m wondering why, if this had to happen, it had to happen with Malfoy’s kid,” Dad said. “I guess, I’m just wondering why Rosie. All I keep thinking about is how disappointed I am in you, a feeling I hate, and wondering why this happened.”
I took a deep breath in, squeezing Scorpius’s hand tightly, and letting a few tears fall down my face, trying to withhold full out sobs.
I was pregnant. My father was disappointed in me. Mum hadn’t said whether I disappointed her or not, but I could tell from the look on her face that she agreed with my father.
I was a disappointment.
“I need a minute,” I said, letting go of Scorpius’s hand.
“Rose-“ Scorpius started to say, but I cut him off.
“I need a minute to myself,” I said, running out of the room and up the stairs to my bedroom, where I shut the door and fell on the bed, the realities of my world crumbling upon me.
I watched Rose run up to her room and cringed when I heard the door slam, knowing that Rose was probably falling apart. A part of me wanted to run after her, make sure she was okay, to grab her and leave the house and go back to Hogwarts, where this whole situation didn’t seem nearly as bad.
But then I looked at Mr. Weasley, sitting there, his eyes closed and clearly angry at himself for how his words caused Rose to react, and I found I had a much stronger impulse to protect her from what had caused her pain.
Despite everything inside me telling me not too, I couldn’t help but look at Mr. Weasley with rage.
“How could you say that to her?” I said, the anger in my voice clear.
“Excuse me?” Mr. Weasley said.
“How could you say that you’re disappointed in her?” I said. “Merlin, you must know how that’s going to make her feel. You can’t be that dense.”
“Scorpius Hyperion!” Mum said. “I am so sorry, he didn’t mean-“
“Don’t apologize,” Mr. Weasley said. “He did mean it.”
“Wanker,” Hugo muttered under his breath while sending a glare my way. Mrs. Weasley gave him a warning look, clearly still threatening to send him to his room.
“So, Scorpius, let me ask you, do you think that I am happy with this situation?” Mr. Weasley said. He was, if my father’s stories were to be believed, unusually calm for this high stress situation. “Do you think this is what I wanted for Rose? That I wanted her to be 17, in her final year at Hogwarts, Head Girl, heading towards being a Healer, only to have all of that potential ruined by being pregnant?”
“She’s not going to ruin any chance of that-“ I started, only to get cut off.
“We don’t know that,” Mr. Weasley said, his voice raising. “Do you know that I once worked with someone who was training to be an Auror with goals to be Head Auror someday, citing Nymphadora Tonks and Mad-Eye Moody as some of her inspirations, get pregnant and abandon on that dream because it didn’t make sense to have such a dangerous her career? Her boyfriend at the time was able to continue his goals of working his way up in the ministry, but she had to abandon her dreams. Rose has wanted to be a Healer since she was a child. She would pretend to be my Healer when I had a cold so that she could ‘practice bedside manner’. I do not want her to abandon those dreams!”
“Ron, lower your voice,” Mrs. Weasley said softly to him.
“I will not lower my voice!” Mr. Weasley said. Mrs. Weasley shook her head, getting off of the sofa and heading up the stairs, probably to go check on Rose. “This boy believes that when my daughter asks me to tell her what I am thinking that I shouldn’t share that with her. He thinks that I don’t know what telling my daughter that she disappointed me would do to her. Believe me boy, I know. You may think that you know my daughter well because you got her pregnant, but I have known her for seventeen years. Rose and I are more similar than we let on. She may have her mother’s intelligence and composure, but her emotions and stubbornness are all Weasley. Her habit of running away when upset is Ron Weasley, not Hermione Granger.”
“Okay, I understand that you don’t want Rose to abandon those dreams she has,” I said. “I don’t either! But this situation does not mean it’s the end for her. You don’t need to be disappointed.”
Mr. Weasley gave a short laugh. “You think I’m the only person in this room who is disappointed? You think that your parents don’t feel the same way that I do?”
I look over at my parents, both of whom were looking down, avoiding my eye contact. I realized I had forgotten the cardinal rule of being a Malfoy.
Never talk about uncomfortable topics.
My parents avoiding my eye contact told me more than I wanted to know and I swallowed, knowing that I had disappointed my parents as well. Disappointing them wasn’t a new thing; I had disappointed them before with my choices to not bury the hatchet and befriend the Potter and Weasley family, when I brought Vanessa Bauer to the Christmas Ball and we both got drunk, but those were easy fixes that I was able to recover from.
Getting a girl pregnant at 17 while still in school? I wasn’t sure I would be able to recover from that in their eyes.
“Scorpius, you are a bright boy,” Mr. Weasley said, calming slightly. “Your parents did not want you to become a father at 17. Your father was just telling us about how you have shown interest in Curse Breaking. Do you think that hearing that his son got a girl pregnant and could be risking all of that is what they want to hear? We all want what is best for our children. Having a baby when you are still children yourself is not that.”
“We’re not children we’re 17,” I defended. “Legally, we’re adults.”
“Do you have any idea how to raise a child?” Mr. Weasley said. “How hard it is? Don’t you understand why the rate of teen fathers leaving their baby is so high?”
I immediately snapped my head up at what sounded like an accusation. “Are you suggesting that I am going to leave Rose with a baby?”
“Scorpius, that’s not what he meant,” Dad started to say. “He was pointing out the fact that often times teen fathers do leave their children.”
“Do both of you think that’s what I’m going to do?” I said, standing up at the claim. “Both of you think that if Rose has the baby that I’m going to leave her to pursue my own life.”
“Because I wouldn’t. I would never leave that baby,” I said. My blood was pumping so loud I could hear it in my ears. “If I was going to be a father, then I would be a father. Regardless of what it costs me.”
Holy shit. I was going to be a father.
“Son, you don’t understand what it takes to be a father,” Mr. Weasley said. At his words, I wanted to fight back, tell him I did understand, but I knew, deep down, that he was right. “It’s hard. Hermione and I both weren’t ready to be parents at 17 and I doubt your parents were too. Very few teenagers are. So I’m sorry if that offends you, but you are being naïve if you think this situation will be easy.”
I took a deep breath, digesting his words and realizing he was right. Since we found out about the baby a few days before, I had not actually understood what that meant.
I walked around the couch and into the kitchen, making sure to avoid eye contact with anyone. I was about to lose it as the impact of what Rose being pregnant meant. I raked my hands through my hair in frustration as all of Mr. Weasley’s words hit me. I remembered what my father was like when I was a kid and realized that in nine months, that was going to be me.
I hadn’t been thinking about the reality of the situation. I had been so focused on the fact that Rose was pregnant and the fact that she had let me be a part of it that I forgot to think about that. I was focused on the fact that Rose had kissed me twice since we found out, wondering what it had meant. I had been worried about a Potions essay due in two weeks more than I was worried about being a father.
Holy shit. I was going to be a father.
"Scorpius?" I heard from behind me, I turned and saw Mum, standing in the doorway. She looked at me and instantly said, "Oh, honey." She rushed over and brought me into a hug, pulling my head down on her shoulder.
That was when I lost it. I broke down, crying in my Mum's arms like a little boy.
"I'm so sorry, Mum," I cried into her shoulder. "I'm so sorry."
"I know, honey," she said, rubbing my back. "It’ll be okay sweetie, it’ll be okay."
"Rose?" Mum said, peaking in my door at me lying on my bed holding my teddy bear. "Can I come in?"
"I suppose," I said. Mum came in and sat down next to me. Below us, I could hear muffled shouting. "Will you and dad ever forgive me?”
“Rose, there is nothing to forgive,” Mum said. I gave her a look. “We both aren’t happy with the current situation, but we’re upset with the situation, not you.”
“Feels like there is no difference,” I said.
We heard footsteps come up the stairs and soon there was a quiet knock on my door.
“Come in, Ronald,” Mum said.
Dad entered the room, somewhat sheepishly, closing the door gently behind him.
“I’m sorry for what I said down there Rosie,” Dad said. “I should have been clearer. I am disappointed with the situation. I’m not disappointed in you.”
I wiped my nose. “Really? Because I think I am.”
“Rose, why would you say that?” Mom asked, handing me a tissue.
“Because, I shouldn’t have let this happen,” I said. “I should have used protection. But I didn’t. And now I’m screwing everything up. I could potentially be throwing away my chances at being a healer. Merlin, what will the press say when they find out?”
“Fuck the press,” Dad mumbled.
“Ron! Language!” Mum said. “Merlin and then you wonder why Hugo swears so much.” Mum turned back to me. “But, your father is right. Don’t worry about the press. We will protect this from them. We will protect you from them.”
“Just like we’ve always done,” Dad said.
I gave a sad smile. “I am sorry for this. I didn’t want today to go like this.”
Dad shrugged. “That was probably as close to positive as my reaction to you being pregnant, especially with Malfoy’s kid is going to be.”
I laughed, knowing that this was true.
“You three should probably get back to school,” Mum said. “I’m going to go tell Hugo to bring his wool socks to school, since he left them here in September.”
Mum left the room, leaving me and Dad alone for a few moments before we needed to head back down.
“Dad?” I said, getting off my bed and walking towards him. I gave him a hug. “I am sorry that I got into this situation.”
“Yeah,” Dad said. “Fancying a Malfoy is pretty shameful.”
“Dad!” I said, my face growing hot. “That’s not what’s going on.”
“Sure,” Dad said. “Let’s keep in mind you’re pregnant, so you fancying the boy who got you pregnant would be totally okay.”
I stammered, feeling very flustered at his accusation. I had known about my budding feelings for Scorpius. But I was hoping that they had remained at least a tiny bit hidden.
“Rose, if you want to date Malfoy, just do it,” Dad said. “I can handle it.”
“It’s not you I’m worried about,” I said, thinking of Louis and Al.
“They’ll deal with it,” Dad said. “You’re going to need someone by your side through this. Scorpius would probably be a good person to have. If he’s willing to yell at your dad in order to defend you, he can handle whatever will be thrown at you.”
Dad and I walked downstairs to where everyone else was waiting. Instantly, I was able to spot Scorpius sitting between his parents. His eyes were red, as if he had been crying and his mum had her arm on his back, soothingly rubbing it back and forth.
When he saw me enter, he stood up and walked across the room toward me and I met him in the middle, where I put my arms around his waist. I squeezed him tight, and he returned the action, pulling me as close to him as possible. I forgot that there were other people in the room until Hugo cleared his throat awkwardly.
Scorpius and I let go of each other, but I quickly grabbed his hand and squeezed it. I didn't want to let him go.
"Alright kids it’s probably time that you get back to school," Mum said.
I noticed that Hugo now had a pair of wool socks in his hands. He saw me staring and shrugged, as if he wasn’t sure why he would need wool socks in Scotland.
“Mum, Dad?” I said, surprising myself with what I wanted to ask. “Would it be okay if Scorpius came to Christmas? The family will probably know by then and if they don't then I'll have to tell them and I just...I want Scorpius there."
Everyone was looking at me in shock, especially Scorpius. I squeezed his hand tighter to assure him. Dad said I needed someone by my side and that it would be okay if it was Scorpius.
Mum, in true politician fashion, was able to compose herself first.
"Well, I don't see a problem with that," she said. "As long as his parents agree, of course."
We all looked at Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy. Mr. Malfoy was looking at Mrs. Malfoy, who clearly was the one who made most of the decisions in their family.
"That sounds fine," Mrs. Malfoy said. "If that is what Scorpius wants to do, then we can do it. We were just going to Paris anyway."
Scorpius looked down at me for confirmation that I wanted him there. I stared back at him with a pleading look, because the idea of not having him there for either telling my entire family or having them all walk awkwardly around me was horrible. I needed at least one ally.
Scorpius looked back at his parents. "I'll stay with them for Christmas."
"Good," Mr. Malfoy said. "Your mother and I could use a romantic vacation."
"Alright everyone," Dad said. "We should send the kids back to school."
We said our goodbyes before each going through the Floo; Hugo, me, then Scorpius. We landed in McGonagall’s office, and I was a little shocked that she was nowhere in sight.
"Where's McGonagall?" Scorpius asked Hugo, who was standing in the middle of the office.
Hugo held up a note. "Says she’s left for a meeting and that we should show ourselves out."
"Oh," Scorpius said.
Hugo played with the note. "So are you two going to tell anyone else? That way I don’t let things spill before I am supposed to."
Scorpius shrugged. “It’s up to Rose. I’m following her lead on most of this stuff.”
Hugo and Scorpius both looked at me and I thought for a second.
“I think I want to wait,” I said. “I haven’t decided what to do about the pregnancy and I think I want to wait and weigh all my options before I tell people.”
“Makes sense,” Hugo nodded. “Who knows?”
“The three of us, our parents, Chloe, and Scorpius’s friend Alex,” I said. “But no one else.”
“How does Chloe know?” Hugo asked.
“She was there when I realized that I could be pregnant,” I explained. “Thought it was only fair I tell her if I was or not.”
Hugo nodded. "Makes sense."
Hugo began to play with some of the knick-knacks on McGonagall’s desk, a clear sign to me that he was debating something in his head. Although Hugo had a habit to fidget, his fidgeting got particularly bad when he was arguing with himself.
"What are you debating?" I asked him. He looked up at me and was about to speak before I interrupted him. "And don't say nothing. You and I both know that's a lie."
"Rose it's creepy how you do that," Hugo said. He sighed, before putting a cat shaped tea pot down and looking at Scorpius and me. “I'm trying to decide how I feel about Malfoy. We were raised to dislike him. Our whole family dislikes him. He and I haven’t gotten along very well since I started Hogwarts because of his cocky attitude.”
“Yeah, it’s just him with the cocky attitude,” I said, giving Hugo a pointed look.
“The point is,” Hugo said, ignoring me. “The point is that he stood up to Dad today when Dad upset you. He argued with Dad about why Dad was wrong and I saw how upset he got when you ran out of the room. No one would look like that unless they really cared about you, Rosie.”
Despite myself, I couldn’t help but smile slightly. I snuck a peek at Scorpius and saw that he had a pink tint on his face at Hugo’s words.
"So, I have to like him for caring that much about you. But either way," Hugo said, looking at Scorpius. "If you ever hurt my sister or abandon her or your child, I will personally hunt you down."
"Hugo isn't that a little drama-" I started but Scorpius interrupted me.
“No, it’s fine,” Scorpius said. “It’s fair. I wouldn’t ever do that, so we don’t need to worry about that actually happening.”
Hugo nodded. "You're not bad Malfoy. I'm going to leave you two alone to talk about..." His gaze dropped down to my stomach. "To talk about my niece or nephew."
Once he was out of the room, I breathed a giant sigh of relief. "It's over. We did it."
“Wish that was the easy part,” Scorpius said. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” I said. “Are you?”
“I think so,” Scorpius said. “I just realized what you being pregnant actually meant for me.”
“Me too,” I said. “Pretty scary.”
Scorpius nodded in agreement. “Pretty scary.”
I moved so I was closer to Scorpius before wrapping my arms around his neck and burying my face into his chest.
“Now what do we do?” I asked him.
Scorpius sighed, wrapping his arms around my waist and holding me close.
“I have no idea.”
Thank you so much for reading! We finally got to see Scorpius's POV and it was tiny, but it was there! This story will be told primarily from Rose's POV, but we will switch occasionally. I hope you enjoyed!
Since you had to wait so long for the last chapter, I thought I would give this one to you quickly after in order to make up for it. Hopefully I can get the chapters out on a more regular schedule!
Chapter 6: Chapter 6
My heart dropped into my chest as I read the words printed on the page.
Over the next week, it became harder not being around Scorpius as much as I wanted to be. We had done a complete flip from right after Halloween; we were talking to each other more during class and would seek each other out when we were at the library together. We would, occasionally, sit at the same table together; however we still tried to keep somewhat of a distance after Louis started questioning me that Wednesday.
“What’s going on with you and Malfoy?” Louis asked me at lunch one day.
Scorpius and I had been talking in the hall, only for Audrey to pull me away when Louis spotted us. Audrey knew how deep the rivalry between Scorpius and Lou ran, knew that if Lou saw me talking to Scorpius he would immediately turn it into a bigger deal than it was. She lied to Louis, saying that we were just talking about school, but it was clear Louis didn’t believe her.
“I actually have to second this question,” Audrey said.
Audrey had also noticed mine and Scorpius’s friendliness, insisting on knowing what was happening between us. I always denied, not feeling ready to let them in on mine and Scorpius’s secret yet.
“Nothing,” I said, shrugging. “We’re the same as we’ve always been.”
“That’s not true,” Al said, putting ham on bread to make a sandwich. “You two have been way friendlier lately.”
“Not consciously,” I said, trying to brush it off. “Hey Louis, do you want me to go over your potions essay still?”
“Yes, but don’t avoid the question,” Louis said.
“I’m not!” I said. “There’s nothing to avoid.”
I saw Chloe enter the Great Hall, look at our table and sigh, clearly disappointed about something.
“Al,” Chloe said, when she reached us. “You said you were going to help me with my Transfiguration homework today. I’ve been in the library for an hour waiting for you.”
Al looked across the table at her, her eyes went wide. “That was today?”
“Yes,” Chloe said, sitting down next to me, her words short. “You said today was the only day that you could help me. This is the third time that you’ve bailed on me for this assignment. It’s due on Friday.”
“Well, let’s go now,” Al said, starting to stand up, but Chloe just shook her head.
“No,” Chloe said. Her eyes were cast downward and it was clear to everyone at the table how upset she was with Al. “It’s fine. I’ll ask for an extension or I’ll try to do it myself.”
“I can help you,” I said. “I don’t have to do rounds tonight, so I’m free to help you.”
“That’s nice that you don’t have to do rounds tonight,” Audrey said. “But I thought you always did rounds on Wednesdays?”
“Used to,” I said. “Sam asked to rearrange the schedule, so I did. Now I patrol with a fifth year instead of him on Tuesdays and Thursdays.”
“Wanker,” Louis said.
“Rose that would be great if you could help me,” Chloe said. She grabbed a slice of bread and some turkey, putting it together to make a sandwich like Al’s.
“Clo, I really am sorry,” Al said, guilt evident in his voice. “We’ve just bene having extra Quidditch Practice-“
“I know,” Chloe said.
The tension between the two of them was obvious. I looked at Audrey, who was biting her lip as she looked between the two of them, unsure of how to make this not awkward.
“Chloe, may I ask your opinion on something?” Louis asked, clearly attempting to divert the attention away from Chloe and Al’s impending argument.
“Yeah,” Chloe answered, turning away from Al to look at Louis.
“Do you think that Malfoy and Rose have been more friendly lately?”
“Oh Merlin,” I said, rolling my eyes.
As much as I acted like Louis’s accusations were completely out of the blue, I knew that he was right. Not only had we been more friendly with school, but I had also suggested to my patrolling partner to split up the castle, with me taking the top half of the castle and them the bottom, something Sam never would have agreed to.
During this time, Scorpius would meet me and do my patrols with me.
I loved my nights with Scorpius. We didn't do anything, he just helped me patrol, but I enjoyed being with him and not pretending that there was nothing happening between us. We were totally different than how we were during the day. Instead of giving each other small smiles and nods, we held hands and flirted. We didn't hide our feelings, we made them known to each other.
We acted like a couple.
We would walk through the castle, either holding hands or with his arm around me, talking about anything and everything, just enjoying each other’s company. We didn't really talk about the baby, which I was glad about, but it did come up sometimes. Mainly just when we were going to tell people, but we never remained on the subject for long. Our nights together were focused on us, not the impending explosion of when our friends and my family found out.
And I was okay with that. Getting to know Scorpius was probably the most fun I've had in a while.
He was funny, really funny, I laughed at nearly everything he said. He was so sarcastic that he rivaled James and we would often have full sarcastic conversations. He was a lot smarter than people, myself included, gave him credit for. He admitted to being a huge dork, despite the cool demeanor he put on at school.
I liked him.
I really, really liked him.
“Are you joking Louis?” Chloe said. “They’ve been normal with each other as ever.”
I sent a grateful smile to Chloe, the only person who knew about the pregnancy and my nights with Scorpius, for keeping the secret. I had assumed that she would have wanted to tell Al, but she didn’t disagree or argue with me when I asked her not to.
“Why are we only talking about my love life?” I asked, wanting to deflect the conversation. “Why not ask you or Audrey if something is happening, hmm Lou?”
“Because I obviously know the answer to that, Audrey tells mem everything,” Louis said.
Audrey snorted, causing Lou to give her a glare.
“So you know about the Ravenclaw she got caught snogging then?” Chloe asked. Audrey’s eyes widened and she gave Chloe a betrayed look.
Louis frowned. “No. What Ravenclaw?”
“Just a bloke,” Audrey said. “No big deal. We were just flirting and decided to snog. Was nothing more than that.”
“Right,” Louis said quietly.
Audrey watched him, a strange look coming over her face.
“We should probably get to class,” Al said. “Chloe do you want me to walk you to Charms?”
“No,” Chloe said, without looking at him. “Rose and I need to figure out our plan for us to meet tonight.”
“Oh,” Al said. “Okay.”
Chloe gave him a tight smile and Al’s shoulders slacked.
“Chloe, I’m sorry-“
“Al, it’s fine,” Chloe said. “I’m going to work with Rose to get it done. Have a good rest of your day and a good Quidditch Practice.”
“Okay,” Al said, clearly not believe that Chloe was okay.
I waved goodbye to Louis as he followed Al out, standing up while Audrey turned to Chloe.
“Chloe did you have to do that?” she asked.
“Do what?” Chloe said.
“Tell Louis about the Ravenclaw,” Audrey said. “You saw how weird he got.”
“He got weird because he fancies you,” Chloe said. “And you don’t like that I told him because you fancy him.”
“That’s not true,” Audrey said. “He just didn’t need to know that. It’s not like I’m going to hang out with that bloke again.”
“Okay, well, I’m sorry Audrey,” Chloe said. “I didn’t think telling him would be a big deal.”
“You know that I don’t talk to Louis about boys,” Audrey said. “It is the one topic I don’t discuss with him. You know that, Chloe.”
Chloe sighed. It was very clear that Audrey wasn’t going to back off, so Chloe gave in.
“I’m sorry,” Chloe said. “Just a lot going on right now.”
Audrey nodded. “Okay. Well I’ll see you guys later. I need to get to Muggle Studies.”
“Bye Audrey,” I said, giving her one last smile before she left.
Chloe rubbed her forehead with her hand, clearly frustrated. “Let’s go to class, Rose.”
“Are you sure you’re okay?” I asked.
“Nothing that can’t wait until after class.”
Chloe and I had been in the library for close to two hours, neither one of us bringing up Chloe’s fights with both Albus and Audrey.
I knew that Chloe and Audrey would end up being okay. They often got into little spats, but things were always quickly resolved as soon as they started. There were very few times in the friendship between the three of us that we weren’t speaking.
“I’m almost done,” Chloe said. “Just want to clarify this last answer. Thank you again for helping me on last minute notice.”
“No problem,” I said. “I was planning on coming to the library anyway to do homework.”
“Was a certain blond planning to join you?”
“No,” I said, feeling my face get warm. “He was hanging out with his friends Alex and Emily tonight.”
“Right,” Chloe said. “Well, I’m glad I’m not spoiling your night as well as my own.”
I frowned. “Are you okay?”
“Just frustrated,” Chloe said. “I needed to get this done earlier.”
“Al was supposed to help you right?” I asked.
“Yes,” Chloe said, furrowing her brows together. “Originally, he was supposed to help me on Saturday, but he forgot. Then he was supposed to help me on Monday, but he said he would tutor a first year in Transfiguration, forgetting that he already said he would tutor me. He promised me, promised that today at during our mutual free period before lunch, he would help me, because this was the one time that he had free. And he forgot.” Chloe sighed. “He forgot. And I waited here for an hour, attempting to do this assignment by myself, before going to the Great Hall to find him.”
“Well, he’s been busy lately, all of us have,” I said.
“I know,” Chloe said. “I’m not upset with him for being busy. Like you said, we all have been busy. I really needed his help, N.E.W.T. level Transfiguration has been kicking my arse this term and he’s one of the best in the year.”
“You could have asked me earlier,” I said. “You know that I am always happy to help.”
“I know, but I wanted Albus to help me. Al has always helped me before,” Chloe said. “He’s always wanted to help me before.”
“I bet he still wants to help you,” I defended. “You know how much he loves spending time with you.”
“Does he though?” Chloe said. She took a deep breath. “Rose, I haven’t told anyone this because I didn’t want to admit that it was an issue, but mine and Al’s relationship is falling apart.”
I frowned at her, confused. Yes, they had argued earlier today, but I hardly thought that meant they were falling apart.
“What do you mean?” I asked. “Because he forgot that he was supposed to help you study?”
“No,” Chloe said. “I mean, that isn’t helping but that isn’t the biggest issue. I don’t know I feel like he isn’t trying anymore. He barely makes an effort to spend time with me, he forgets when we do have plans, he doesn’t check on me like he used to…”
Chloe drifted off and her eyes filled with tears.
“He just doesn’t seem to care anymore,” Chloe whispered. “Every time I try to bring it up, when he bails on plans or doesn’t seemed bothered that we haven’t spent time together in two weeks, he brushes it off, saying that we’re fine. But I don’t feel fine Rose. I understand that he has a lot on his plate, we all do. But he has never had an issue spending time with me before, even when he was this busy.”
“You’ve tried talking to him about this?” I asked, despite the fact that she had just said that.
“Yes, he honestly doesn’t see why it makes me upset not to spend time with him,” Chloe said, wiping her eyes as a tear fell. “He doesn’t understand why I think it’s a big deal that we haven’t—“
Chloe immediately shut her mouth, not finishing her sentence.
“You haven’t what?”
Chloe bit her lip, clearly unsure of whether to say what she intended.
“Chloe,” I said reaching forward to hold her hand. “You can say whatever you want to me and I won’t tell anyone. If you’re upset, I want to help. You have been so wonderful to me the past week; you have been the only person besides a certain blond that I have been able to talk to about my situation. So, if you have something to say, this is a safe space to tell me and it won’t leave here.”
Chloe closed her eyes, thinking, before nodding.
“He doesn’t think it’s a big deal that we haven’t had sex since August,” Chloe whispered. “Not even just sex; we haven’t done anything physical, in four months. We didn’t even make it four months into our relationship without having sex for the first time. I know it’s not a main determination of how a relationship is doing but…the fact that we haven’t done anything physical for four months beyond kissing and he doesn’t seem to notice or care isn’t exactly making me feel like he’s all in.”
Chloe put her hand over her eyes, taking a deep breath, clearly trying to hold her emotions in since we were in the library.
“He just doesn’t care,” Chloe said. “Or at least he’s not showing it. And I can’t keep doing this. I love him so much, but I can’t be the only one working on our relationship.”
I was about to respond, but Madam Smith, the librarian, interrupted me as she approached our table.
“Library is closing girls,” she said. “There is only a half hour left until curfew.”
“Thank you,” I said.
Chloe immediately began putting her stuff away, wiping her eyes.
“Rose, I don’t really want to talk about this anymore,” Chloe said. “I don’t know what to do, but I don’t want to lose him. So I’ll just…wait to see if anything gets better.”
I bit my lip, keeping my thoughts to myself, feeling worried about my favorite couple.
Chloe and I walked into the Common Room and Al was sitting in the couch, chatting with his sister Lily. Out of all my cousins, Lily was one that I was very close to, but when we were at Hogwarts, we rarely saw each other, due to our very busy and very conflicting schedules. Despite the fact that she was one of my favorite cousins, our years kept us separate most of the time.
Upon seeing Al, Chloe gave a small, sad smile. It was very clear that even though they were having a lot of difficulties, she still loved him.
Al looked up when the Common Room door opened, quickly standing up and walking over to us when seeing us enter. I was disappointed to see one of Lily’s year mates come over and talk to her, meaning that she wouldn’t join us.
“Hi,” Al said. He gave Chloe a kiss, but she pulled away quickly, keeping the kiss short.
“Hey Al,” I said. Al gave me a small smile before looking back at Chloe.
“Did you finish your assignment?” Al asked.
“Yeah,” Chloe said. “Rose was a big help.”
“I’m really sorry I wasn’t able to help,” Al said, the guilt he felt evident in his face. “I’ve been so busy lately-“
“I know,” Chloe said. “It’s okay. It all worked out.”
“I should have been there though,” Al said. “I want to help you-“
“Al,” Chloe said. “It’s okay. I’m tired. Can we talk more about this tomorrow though?”
“Yeah,” Al said. “Yes, let’s talk more tomorrow.”
Chloe gave a small smile and gave Al a quick kiss.
“I’m going to head up to bed,” she said. “Are you coming Rose?”
“I’ll be up in a minute,” I said.
Chloe gave us one last smile and a quick “I love you” to Al, before heading up to bed.
“Al, you know you don’t have to wait for me,” I said. “You do this every night I’m out close to curfew.”
“I know, but I like to,” Al said. “I like to know you’re safe, Rosie.”
“Well thank you,” I said.
“Rose, can I ask you something?”
“Yes,” I said. “What is it?”
“It’s about what Louis was asking about during lunch,” Al said, and I felt my heart sink a little. “Is there something going on between you and Malfoy? Do you fancy him?”
I opened my mouth to call him crazy, but he cut me off.
“Rose, you two have been talking more lately. I understand why you wouldn’t tell Louis if you had feelings for him, Louis would go into a blind rage, but you know you can tell me,” Al said. “I don’t like the bloke, but I’m not going to completely disassociate from you if you did.”
“Al…” I said, feeling conflicted about how I wanted to answer.
On one hand, I knew that I could tell Al that I had feelings for Scorpius; I could even tell him I was pregnant, and things would be okay, or at least he would make more of an effort to understand. Louis was the hothead of the two of them. Albus was more rational, more understand, not as quick to anger. I could tell him everything and he would help me through it, and it could even help bridge the separation between him and Chloe.
But I wasn’t ready yet. To tell him about Scorpius or about the pregnancy.
“Nothing is going on with me and Malfoy,” I said. “We may have been friendlier lately, but that’s not because of anything in particular. We have never disliked each other the way that you and Lou dislike him.”
Al gave me a long look and I could tell he didn’t believe me. But, instead of pushing me, instead of calling my bluff, he only nodded.
“Okay,” Al said. “Well, I’ll see you tomorrow okay?”
“Yeah,” I said, smiling at him. “Night Al.”
"Rose, come on!" Audrey's voice pulled me out of my dreams and back to reality. I rubbed my eyes.
"What time is it?" I asked.
"Eight Twelve. Did you suddenly forget classes start at nine? You're normally up by now," she said. She had her robes on, her makeup done, and hair braided back. "Everyone went down to eat already."
“Crap,” I said, quickly getting out of bed. I ran to the bathroom, quickly washing my face before putting my robes on. I pulled half my hair back, wanting it out of my face.
“Okay, ready,” I said. Audrey held my book bag out to me and we started out of our dorm. “Thank you for waiting for me.”
“Of course,” Audrey said. “I feel as though I never see you anymore. And I also didn’t really feeling like walking down with Chloe after yesterday.”
“Aud, she was in a crappy mood and didn’t mean anything by it,” I said.
“I know,” Audrey said, shrugging. “Still, she didn’t need to take her relationship issues out on me.”
I sighed, knowing that Audrey had a fair point and that she was clearly too upset to forgive Chloe right now.
“Speaking of Chloe,” Audrey said, she bit her lip, showing that she was nervous to talk to me. “You two have been whispering secrets a lot lately. Anything you want to share?”
A sudden wave of guilt came over me, knowing how insecure Audrey always got when she felt as though she was being left out. I almost told her, right then, everything that was happening, but just like with Al, I didn’t feel ready to let that secret out of my little bubble yet.
“There’s nothing to share,” I said. “At least not from me”
Audrey gave me a smile that didn’t meet her eyes and I could tell she didn’t exactly believe me. “Okay.”
“What going on with you?” I asked, hoping to deflect. “How is harassing the Ministry to give you a job going? Any new leads on how to make the world a more equal and equitable place?”
For the rest of the way to the Great Hall, Audrey told me all about how she has discovered the areas of the Ministry she didn’t want to work in, and how she was still hoping that something would open in my mother’s office by the time we graduated, since she felt she could make the most difference there.
We entered the Great Hall and instantly, I noticed that it was louder than normal, with the whole student body talking very animatedly about something in the paper. A few staff members were sitting at the table, which wasn’t unusual, but all of them seemed curious as to why students were more chatty than normal.
I tried looking at the paper as we walked by, but was unable to see what exactly had people so excited.
“Clearly there is some good gossip going around,” Audrey said, picking up on the same energy I had.
I nodded, my eyes scanning for Louis, Al and Chloe at the table. I frowned when I saw them all sitting in silence, because that was something incredibly rare to see, especially when everyone else was so lively.
I sat down next to Louis, Audrey on the other side of him.
“Hey guys,” I said. “Know why everyone is so chatty this morning?”
I looked up at Chloe and saw her nearly on the verge of tears, Al sitting next to her, glaring at his food. Suddenly, I thought that maybe something happened with them, in front of everyone, and that’s why people were so animated. A public fight between such a solid couple would definitely cause people to freak out.
“Is it true?” Louis asked from next to me.
I turned to him, confused.
“Oh my god,” Audrey whispered as she looked down at the paper in front of Louis.
I immediately turned toward the paper, confused as to why whatever was in it would cause this reaction.
And when I read the headline, I couldn’t believe that I had been so stupid.
Rose Weasley and Scorpius Malfoy: First Comes a Teen Pregnancy!
My heart dropped into my chest as I read the words printed on the page.
Rose Weasley, 17, daughter of Wizarding World Heroes Ron and Hermione Weasley, is said to be just about 5 weeks pregnant with Scorpius Malfoy’s, also 17, son of former Death Eater Draco Malfoy, baby. Word on the street is that they weren’t dating until this. So how do we know this is true? Well, we have the pregnancy results right here, sent in to us from an anonymous source.
Results: Pregnant, 4 weeks
Projected due date: August 5th
Mother: Rose Weasley
Father: Scorpius Malfoy
The whole word suddenly felt as though it was spinning, as I felt anxiety and emotion begin to overflow me.
It was out.
I wasn’t ready to even tell the people closest to me.
And now everything was out for anyone to read.
"Is it true, Rose?" Louis said, snapping me out of my trance. The anger in his voice was obvious. "Are you having a baby? With Malfoy, of all people?"
I felt Al’s eyes on me, wanting to know the same thing, probably wanting to know why, when we were talking last night, I didn’t tell him.
“I…I…” I tried to say, but found I couldn’t even form a sentence.
Over Louis’s shoulder, I saw Scorpius walk in. He scanned the Great Hall, picking up on the unusual amount of energy, before he saw me. His face immediately shifted to concern and he took a couple steps towards me, before Alex grabbed him by the shoulder and talking to him. Scorpius’s face went white and I knew that Alex had told him the secret was out.
“I’m going to kill him,” Louis said. My eyes snapped back to him, and I saw that he was looking at Scorpius as well.
“Lou, don’t-“ I tried to say, but Louis was already up and walking towards Scorpius.
“Shit,” Al said, as he stood up to go after Louis, hopefully to stop him.
I got out of my seat and followed after them, trying to stop the explosion that I knew was coming.
But I wasn't fast enough.
“Hey Malfoy!” Louis yelled as he got close to Scorpius. As soon as Scorpius turned around, still white and shock written all over his face, Louis punched him straight in the jaw.
The Great Hall suddenly erupted into Chaos of everyone trying to get as close to the Entrance of the hall as possible, trying to see the fight. I pushed my way to the front, hoping that Albus had gotten there and was able to pull Louis off, but saw that hadn’t happened yet.
“Louis stop!” I yelled.
Louis tackled Scorpius, before Scorpius attempted to hit him in the chest. Scorpius gained advantage, pushing Louis off him. Alex and Emily tried to pull Scorpius away from the fray, but Scorpius was already just as heated as Louis was and wasn’t planning on walking away.
“Dammit Scorp!” I heard Emily yell. I looked over and saw that she was now holding Alex back from joining, as he was attempting to join and help Scorpius.
“Scorpius, stop!” I yelled as I made my way to the front, right as Scorpius struck a blow to Louis’s stomach, causing Louis to double over.
I ran in front of Scorpius, who was nearly breathing fire with rage, sticking myself in front of him and putting my hands on his chest.
“Scorpius,” I said. “Scorpius stop.”
“Tell him that,” Scorpius muttered, trying to get around me.
“Please Scorpius!” I pleaded. My voice sounded high and whiney, but I think my voice sounded so desperate, that I was able to pull Scorpius out of the blind rage he was in.
I turned around and saw that Al had made it to the front of the crowd and now was standing next to Louis, clearly trying to calm him down. I knew that Al was probably trying to get him to deal with this somewhere more private, but Louis just watched me and Scorpius, his eyes still ablaze.
"So it's true?" Louis asked. Audrey, Chloe and Lily were all standing behind him and Al, shock on Audrey and Lily’s faces, and guilt on Chloe’s. “Dammit Rose, is it true?”
I looked Louis dead in the eye, nodding slightly before speaking. “Yes. It’s true. I’m pregnant.”
The crowd immediately broke out into discussion. Louis became even more furious, while Al dropped his arms from in front of Louis, clearly in shock and even a little hurt to be hearing this while in a crowd, like we were a circus.
"What the hell, Rose?" Louis said, taking a few steps towards us now that Al wasn’t holding him back. His gaze found Scorpius and I knew that he was going to take all his anger out on him.
"No!" I yelled, positioning myself in front of Scorpius. The tears in my eyes were starting to escape as I felt the judgements of everyone around me. "You're not going to hurt him!"
"Like hell I'm not!" Louis said.
I looked at Al, to beg him to hold Louis back but saw that Albus was just looking at me in complete disappointment.
Thankfully my brother pushed his way through the crowd and blocked Lou's path, pushing him back.
"Whoa there, Lou," Hugo said, holding Louis shoulders to push him back to his side of the circle. "Just step back. Leave Malfoy alone."
"That son of a bitch," Louis kept muttering.
"Excuse me, what is going on here?" Sam's voice broke the silence. Instantly a place in the crowd separated and he appeared, looking from Scorpius and I at one end and my brother and cousins on the other.
"What's going on is that this bastard got my cousin pregnant!" Louis yelled. He said it with such disgust and was looking at me like he didn't even know who I was. Even more tears fell from my eyes and I faced the ground, unable to look at Lou's face anymore. "If this is your idea of a joke it's fucked up, Rose-"
"It's not a joke," Chloe said, separating herself from the crowd. I saw Audrey look between me and her with a hurt look on her face. "She's really pregnant."
“That’s fucked up,” Louis said. “This is so fucked up.”
"You knew?" Al asked said to Chloe. Chloe’s turned to him, and her face immediately dropped as she looked at the betrayed expression on Al’s face. "You knew and you didn't tell me?"
Chloe looked at Al, almost as if she was begging him not to have asked that question, and I wondered if she realized that the relationship she had been so worried about losing the day before could have been lost because of her loyalty to me.
I felt sick with guilt as I watched Chloe nod, Al immediately breaking eye contact and running his hands through his hair. From the look on his face, it was clear that he felt betrayed and that he was done.
"What the fuck?" Louis said to Chloe. "You knew our cousin was pregnant and you didn't tell us? Why would you do that? Why the hell would you keep this from us you-"
"Hey!" I yelled at Louis, suddenly pissed that he was taking out his anger on Chloe when it was my mistake he was mad at. "Stop yelling at her, Louis, it isn't her fault!"
"Stop talking, Rose!" he said, facing me. He was looking at me with such disgust, like he didn't even recognize me. "I don't care what you have to say, I never want to speak to you again! As far as I'm concerned, from this day on, you're dead to me!"
I was shocked into silence and I felt as though I had been slapped in the face. Louis, my best friend, my cousin who I grew up with, hated me. All the memories we had of growing up meant nothing to him because I made one mistake.
My knees buckled and I would’ve fallen to the ground but Scorpius caught me. I must have been crying hard because he turned me around and brought me to his chest. He held my waist with one arm and smoothed my hair with the other while saying, "Shh, it'll be okay. It will all be okay."
Behind me, Louis was about to go at Chloe again, but Albus stopped him. The next thing I heard was Chloe and Albus yelling at each other. I started to cry harder because even though I couldn't hear it clearly, I knew what was happening; I knew they were breaking up.
I couldn't handle it. I wanted to run away, somewhere no one could find me.
So I did just that.
I got out of Scorpius' grasp and ran. I ran as far as I could and went to the place where this whole mess started.
When I got to the Room of Requirement, I managed to think, "I need a place where no one can find me."
When the doors appeared, I ran in, sat on the couch and started sobbing.
For the first time in my whole Hogwarts career, I skipped my classes. I sat in the Room of Requirement all day doing nothing but crying, reading and sleeping.
I finally decided that I should leave when I realized that it was close to 8 at night, figuring that someone, probably Hugo and Scorpius, would be worried about where I was. It also occurred to me that they could be the only ones who were worried.
When I reached the Fat Lady, I dreaded what was inside, more for fear of being unsure of what to expect once I got inside. As soon as I had finally worked up the courage to enter and go find my brother, I was anxious the whole time. Fortunately, no one paid attention to me as I walked towards the staircase to the dorms.
That is until I was halfway across the room and I heard someone say, "Slut."
I turned around, trying to see who said it, and saw a bunch of fifth years, Lily sitting with them.
She didn't do anything. She didn't stand up for me, she didn't threaten to use the Boogy-Bat hex I knew she can do, she didn't even acknowledge my presence. I may as well have been a first year to her. She just sat there, looking at her Herbology book, clearly pretending like I wasn’t there.
"Why didn't you tell me?" I heard Audrey's voice say from behind me. Slowly, I turned and faced her. She didn't look mad, just hurt. "We're supposed to be best friends. We’re supposed to tell each other everything."
"Audrey, I wanted to bu-"
“But what?" she asked me. "What stopped you from telling me? Not once in our entire friendship have I lied to you yet you never tell me anything! For the past seven years, I thought we were best friends, I thought we could go to each other for anything."
She was holding back tears and I realized how much I had hurt her. Audrey never cried. At least, not the past few years. She claimed she had gone through too much when her depression was at its lowest to find anything as sad as that anymore.
"We can," I said, trying to reassure her. "We can always go to each oth-"
"No we can't! I came to you when I needed you most, but you have never returned the favor! You're my best friend Rose, you were there for me in fifth year after-" She squeezed her eyes together, as if to hold all the tears threatening to escape in "After he cheated. And after the depression and self-hate and self-harm that happened with that. You were there for all of it."
"That's not true-"
"When did you find out you were pregnant?" she asked me. "I don't even know. I don't even know if you fancy Scorpius or if you two are dating, but I bet Chloe does."
I looked down at the ground, unable to speak. I stopped trying to wipe the tears away and let them run down my face.
"She was the first person you told, wasn't she?" I had never heard Audrey sound so betrayed. "It's not even that you told her first. That's fine, it hurts but that's not what hurts most. It's that you didn't trust me with it after. Almost as if I wasn't good enough."
"Aud, you know I don't think that," I said, looking up at her to see all her make up smeared because of her tears.
"Really? Because you have a funny way of showing it," Audrey said. "I've felt that way for so long and you know that. You know that when he cheated on me, I got even worse and believed I wasn't even good enough to live. Remember those days? When I didn't feel like I would ever be good enough so I took it out on myself? Because I do. I remember it every day." Audrey pulls her sleeves down, covering the scars she has on her wrists. I remembered those days, those terrible days when I would find Audrey with fresh wounds, after she promised she'd stop, every day. And it hurt me to think about it. "But you made me stop. You picked me up and you made me see a therapist and you made me believe that maybe I was good enough. I wouldn’t be where I am today without you, because I thought that if someone like you cared that much about me, maybe I was good enough." She took a deep breath and looked me in the eyes. "I never thought the one person who made me believe I was enough, realized I wasn't."
I was speechless. Audrey pushed past me, straight toward Louis who had just walked in the portrait hole with Al. Louis held her in a hug and kissed her head. The way he was holding her, like she was the most perfect thing even though she was a mess, made me think he really cared about her, more than he let on. Although I never believed that Louis and Audrey’s relationship was strictly platonic, I was struck by how potentially unplatonic Louis’s feelings were for her.
He said something to her and she nodded, letting go of him. He intertwined their fingers and pulled her out of the Common Room, leaving Al standing at the entrance of the portrait hole.
Hesitantly, I walked towards Al. I wasn't sure how he felt about the whole thing, for he was mad in the Great Hall, but everyone was. I needed his opinion, his advice. He was my best friend, more like an older brother I never wanted than a cousin. He meant everything to me. Al was always the number one man in my life, tied with Dad and Hugo of course, he was my protector, my shoulder to cry on, the one who made me laugh.
There was absolutely nothing I wouldn't do for him. I could never be mad at him.
But I suddenly got the feeling that maybe it wasn’t the same for him.
Al saw me approaching, but he didn't do what I longed for him to do, what I would beg him to do, which was hold out his arms and hold me while I cried. He just stared at me, his normally expressive face unreadable.
And that scared me the most.
"Al," I somehow managed to say. I stared into his eyes and saw everything I didn't want to see: disappointment, disgust, betrayal. I had never seen him look at me, hell, look at anybody, like that. "Please don't look at me like that."
"Like what?" Albus said, his normally soothing and calm voice laced with venom.
"Like you've never been more disappointed," I said. I pleaded to Merlin that he would say something, anything but what he actually said.
"Well, I haven't been more disappointed in someone," Albus said, his voice hopeless. I dropped my head in shame. "How could this happen? And with Malfoy? What, were you just so drunk you couldn't keep your hands off each other?"
I shook my head. "It wasn't like that."
"Then have you been dating him in secret for months and none of us noticed?" Albus asked harshly. I looked up at him, trying to speak, but nothing came out. "Not that either? So it was just a one night stand where you were completely aware of what was happening?"
We stared at each other in silence, me with tears running down my face and Albus looking at me with all the disappointment in the world.
"Merlin, Rose," Albus said, raking a hand through his messy dark hair that was so similar to his dad's and James'. "I never thought you would be stupid enough to do something like this."
"So what?" I asked him, suddenly annoyed that all anyone could think about was how stupid I was for letting this happen, as if I hadn’t thought that myself. I understood that everyone needed their time to process, but why was their processing more important than ensuring that I was actually okay? "So I made a mistake and I'm pregnant. I don't need you lecturing me. What I need is the only boy I've been able to count on who wasn't my dad or Hugo to be there for me. I need him to take me in his arms and tell me everything is going to be okay and that no matter how bad this is that he still loves me. I need my big brother, Albus." I choked back the overflowing amounts of tears, as he stood there, staring at me. I looked into his wonderful green eyes, hoping to find comfort and not being able to read them, only seeing that they were softer than they were before. "Please don't agree with Louis. Please don't let me be dead to you." I was hysterical now, weeping and voice cracking. Many people were watching but I didn't care. All I cared about was Al. "Please, Al."
"Rosie..." Al said, looking at me. I begged him. I couldn't lose him. "I...I'm sorry."
And with that, my entire world shattered.
Albus wanted nothing to do with me.
I looked around at all the people in the Common Room. I saw Lily and made eye contact with her, only to have her look away. I looked around at all the faces, some of whom I've known for seven years and I just couldn't handle it. I couldn't be there anymore.
For the second time that day, I ran away. I pushed past Albus and out of the Common Room. I had no idea where I was going but I had to leave.
I didn't realize where I was going until I was already there. The dungeons were dark and cold, with low candles burning to light the way.
I made my way to the Slytherin Common Room and was almost there when I ran straight into somebody.
"Oh sorry," I heard a male voice say. I kept going, hoping that he wouldn't see who I was and that I was crying. I didn't need some Slytherin insulting me as well. But a hand grabbed my arm. "Rose?"
I turned and through my tears saw Alex Zabini, Scorpius' best friend.
"Are you alright?" he asked me, seeming genuinely concerned.
I shook my head and wiped snot from my nose. "Do you know where Scorpius is?"
"Yeah. Do you want me to bring you to him?" he asked me.
I nodded my head, not finding the will to speak. I just wanted to be with Scorpius.
"Follow me,” Alex said. He led me to the entrance, said the password, and walked in.
Wordlessly, I followed him into the Slytherin Common Room.
Hi! You didn't hear from me for like a month and now you got three chapters all in less than a week! Woo! This is partly because I want to share with you guys, but also because I had time and with the winter Holidays coming up (as well as finals) I want to update when I can :) Hopefully I'm done with all the major rewrites with this story so the updates can be more regular, like how it was with Madness (if any of you read that when I was posting it).
This is a monster of a chapter in length and in content, so please tell me what you think! So much happened!
Thank you always for reading, please feel free to kudos/comment/bookmark/subscribe to show how you feel! In case I don't get to say it, happy holidays!