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Just Breathe

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Her steps were uneven as she drunkenly stumbled up the concrete walkway to her parent's house. She was drunk and she knew it, having drunk too much to celebrate her finishing her time at the FBI academy. Fresh out of college and newly turned 21, Samantha Elizabeth Casey was trying so hard to be quiet as she tried to get the front door open. Not wanting to wake her family at 4 in the morning with her stumbling steps. She finally got open the door, hoping she wouldn't trip on her way inside without turning on any lights.

Samantha realized it was probably a mistake when her feet stepped in something wet, and she slipped landing in a puddle of something, which even in her drunken thoughts was odd. Her mother was an immaculate housewife, keeping the large 12 bedroom house in perfect condition. Samantha stood slowly, trying not to slip again, as she continued toward where she knew had to be a light switch. Finding it quickly, she flipped in on and looked down at herself, and being shocked at what she saw, blood coated her legs and arms and probably her back and hair, she stilled, fear coursing through her. She finally glanced up at looked in the direction she had come and had to slam her hand over her mouth to keep from screaming. Her six-year-old nephew lay, horribly sprawled on the floor in front of the door, like he had been trying to run.

Samantha quickly forced her composure, and slipping her hand into the back of her shorts and pulling out her phone, dialing 911, taking a deep shaky breath.

"911, what's your emergency?" The voice on the line was a woman, and Samantha took a deep breath.

"This is FBI Special Agent Samantha Casey, badge number 76532, and I need police, CSI and the FBI at 2387 Cunningham Road, Arlington Virginia immediately. There is blood, a body of a six-year-old boy and probably more. This is my home, and I'm under the influence, I do not have my gun, but this is a 12 bedroom house, it's my father's, who is Senator Dean Joseph."

"Agent, did you touch anything?" The operator asked, her voice soft and kind.

"I slipped in blood when I came in, and I flipped on the entryway light, but that's all," Samantha responded, her voice shaky.

"Good, Agent. I want you to walk back outside your house, and wait for the authorities, they are on the way. ETA IS 4 minutes." She responded and Samantha followed her instructions, tiptoeing back the way she came, keeping her eyes forward, refusing to glance down at the mangled body of her nephew. She hit the outside and could hear the loud sirens and see the flashing blue and red lights as she walked down off the porch and into the grass as her legs finally gave out and she hit the ground.

"They-uh, they are here. Thank you." Samantha said to the operator. The operator said some kind words but Samantha couldn't hear them. She had already lost her grip on the phone, it falling to grass as her eyes began to well up with tears. The police cars pulled to a stop in front of her house followed by a medical truck and black SUV's. She could feel bile running up her throat, as an older gentleman walked slowly up to her. He was balding and wore regular street clothes unlike the man following behind him, who wore a stoic expression.

"Agent Casey?" The older man asked and Samantha sort of nodded. "We read your file on the way here, is it okay if I call you Doctor Casey instead?" He asked and she nodded again.

"There are 10 people that lived in that house," Samantha whispered as the old man got closer and squatted in front of her.

"Dr. Casey, I'm SSA Gideon. And this is SSA Hotchner, how about we get you to the SUV?" Gideon asked. Samantha knew his name, she had applied to work under him yesterday, for an opening in the BAU. But to his question, she shook her head.

"I need to know if my family is alive if any of them are alive." Her voice broke at the end, and she saw Gideon nod. Her heart felt heavy. But she couldn't seem to find the strength to stand. She just stared at the ground, her fingers clenching and unclenching the grass. Gideon stood as she heard footsteps, hushed whispers. It stopped as they both walked over to her.

"Dr. Casey." Gideon's tone of voice caused her head to shoot up and her neck popped, her eyes searching his and she could see it. She had a Ph.D. in Psychology, and one in Criminal Psychology, she was an expert on behavior and she could see the sorrow and pity in his eyes, and she felt her heart completely shatter. No one. Her entire family was dead. Murdered. Samantha nodded her head and using all the strength she could muster, she forced herself to stand, brushing her hand on her pants. Her legs felt shaky under her feet, her breath shallow, but she had to pull herself together. She took a deep breath, and another and another, pulled her heart shut and calming herself, steeling herself against the onslaught of emotions, and looked at Gideon.

"What can I do to help you catch the bastard who slaughtered my family?"

Everything happened quickly after that. Samantha was ushered into the FBI's black SUV and brought to headquarters, the drive was silent, and she was wringing her hands. She was still covered in blood, but Agent Hotchner had slipped into her room and grabbed her things she asked for, securing them in a black bag, her father had purchased for her if she had gotten a job at the BAU, she already expressed the need to pull her application from the candidate file, and Gideon nodded, making a hushed call to his boss. Something about another doctor, who had put his name in that would meet them at headquarters. When they got there, Agent Gideon lead Samantha to the bathrooms where she changed out of her blood-soaked clothes, into a pair of form-fitting black jeans and a dark blue sweater that hung to her mid thighs, she strapped her standard issue Glock onto her hip, and pulled out her credentials, and exited the bathroom, seeing Agent Gideon standing there with a tall muscular dark-skinned man, dressed in a dark suit.

"Dr. Casey this is Agent Morgan, he is apart of the BAU as well. Let's head up." Gideon spoke and led both of them towards the elevator. The silence was deafening and causing Samantha to once again wring her hands. The elevator opened, and the first thing that caught your eye, was a tall, lanky man with glasses, he was slightly hunched over and looked nervous.

"Dr. Reid," Agent Gideon was immediate as he walked over to the guy, he spoke to him softly as Samantha and Agent Morgan walked towards the glass, this Agent was quiet as he led her to a room, it was glass and a large round table, he motioned for a seat, and she sat down, putting her hands on the table. Her long, thin fingers tapping noiselessly. Things were going to get messy, Samantha knew it as she glanced out at Agent Gideon and Dr. Reid.

--

Two weeks had passed, and Gideon had pulled together a safe house for Samantha, each member of his team taking time to stay with her. She had stayed here after the first night, deciding to stay at Headquarters to lend aid to the case of her family. She had learned some interesting things as well. In the last 3 weeks, 3 families had been murdered, one each week, but her family had been the largest, at a startling 10 people, not including herself. She ran a hand through her blond hair, and looked at the old table in front of her, her standard issued Glock sat on the table, and she glanced at the front door, seeing the BAU team. Derek Morgan was a kind guy, but he had demons, she could see them playing behind his eyes, and she would spend time listening to him tell her stories about his time as a police officer and wonder where his demons came from. Aaron Hotchner, was a bit distance, but loved his wife immensely, and had once been a lawyer, but had switched to the BAU years ago. Samantha could see the pain hidden in his movements, probably abused as a child. Not that he let anything slip. Jason Gideon was unique, he spent his time at the safe house with her, regaling stories of the origin of the BAU, or as it was once called, the BSU, how he and his close friend, David Rossi had started it, and she had smiled, having read his books in college. He kept his emotions under a surprisingly composed control. And there was Doctor Spencer Reid, the awkward new member, a year older than her, but just as smart and shy as well. For some reason, Gideon had placed Spencer with Samantha more than the others, not that she minded. Spencer had a way with getting lost in a subject, which was distracting for her.

Once every few days, they would all come to the safe house and discuss their finding with her, and switch places, Morgan had been with her before they all arrived, and she briefly wondered which one would be spending the night, but she had a guess that it was going to be the doctor. Hotch never spent the night, but he was always there in the morning, Morgan had just finished his, and Gideon usually had Reid stay the night.

"Alright, Dr. Casey, Reid will be with you tonight, we have four agents stationed around the area." Gideon began.

"I know, Agent," Samantha responded it was the same thing every night. He gave her a nod, before leaving followed by the others, leaving her alone with Reid. He gave her a small smile and took his spot in a chair near the couch where she sat.

"So, doc, do you want to finish our conversation from the other night?" She asked, leaning back in her seat, flashing him her best smile, and he let out a small laugh, and she stood. "Coffee?" She asked, and caught his nod, before preparing her black coffee and his coffee with a horrible amount of sugar.

"So where did we leave off last time?" He sighed taking the coffee and a sip, pushing his glasses up his nose to look at Samantha properly.

"You were telling me about being blindfolded and tied up to a flagpole," Samantha responded, sitting back on the couch but closer to his seat, tucking her legs under her as she sat.

"Ah yes," he groaned, "I was strung up there for hours until a maintenance guy found me in the early morning and cut me free. My mother had been horrified when I finally made it home." He finished, she'd been waiting to hear the end of his worst bullying memory for 2 days. "Your turn."

"My worst bullying memory, would probably be when I was 10, I was in my sophomore year, and it was horrible, I was this awkward blond kid, and my older siblings had tried so hard to deter the bullies, both being part of the popular kids," Samantha explained, taking a breath.

"That probably made it worse," Spencer added, and she nodded with a smile.

"A few Juniors tricked me, but letting something slip about my sister getting hurt in the gym, she was a cheerleader, so I rushed over there, and found the gym empty and a bunch of these girls came out from under the bleachers and surrounded me, and poured smoothies all over me." She paused again, "And started pushing me, I ended up slipping and hitting the ground hard, so I started crying, I was 10 and it hurt like hell. But the girls were ruthless, and they started throwing pads and tampons on me, like a scene out of Carrie. Until my sister and her squad showed up, I've never seen my sister so livid." Samantha paused, her thoughts going to her protective sister, and tears welled up in her blue eyes.

"Oh, Samantha I'm sorry," Spencer whispered and touched her hand, and she shook her head, blinking back tears.

"Thanks, doc." She gave him a weak smile. "Okay, subject change, you are supposed to be distracting me from my problems. Tell me a secret, something you are embarrassed about." She looked at him, brushing a strand of hair out of her face, and Spencer blushed.

"I don't know.." He responded, and she laughed.

"You have to have something, you tell me one and I'll tell you one." She gave him her best smile, and he sighed.

"I'm a virgin." He whispered, and she barely heard it, but she knew what he said, and smiled.

"Me too." His head whipped up and looked at her, in shock. She knew why, even though she had been an awkward pre-teen in high school, she had been 16 and up in college, and had blossomed, filling out her clothes, tall and lean, and she was aware people thought she was attractive. "School was more important." She smiled, squeezing his hand, before standing and going to the kitchen to pull out something to eat and thoughts plagued her. Her life was in shambles, and her family dead. She was alone, and who knew how long she'd even survive this incident. She glanced back at Spencer, who had sat up straight and closed his eyes, leaning his head back, like he was trying to release tension in his shoulders when something crossed her mind. Something her sister had said once.

"It's not always about the emotions, but the act of being close to someone when you feel alone." Aston had said not that Samantha had thought much about it, until now. She silently placed the pot she'd grabbed down, and kicking off her flats, walked over to Spencer, before she began to talk herself out of it, she straddled his lap, his eyes flying open to looking at her, as she leaned down and pressed her lips to his gently. He didn't react at first, before deepening the kiss, his lips soft, but his hands hadn't touched her yet, still off to the side, as she wiggled in his lap and felt him hardening under her spread legs, and he pulled back.

"Samantha.." He was breathless, and his pupils had grown large, and she sighed.

"Please, Spencer." She whispered, leaning down kissing his neck softly. "I don't want to feel alone right now." Her lips trailed up his neck, she wasn't sure if she was really doing it right, but going off a few romance novels she had devoured, hoped she was.

"You are in a vulnerable position, and I do not want to take advantage." He whispered, his voice hoarse, and cracking. She pulled back, still in his lap.

"You wouldn't be taking advantage, I know it seems that way, but somehow I was lucky enough that in all this tragedy, I found someone like you, like me." She began, "I wouldn't want to be with anyone else for my first time, but if you do not want me, I understand." She finished, going to climb off his lap, when his long slender fingers wrapped around her wrist, stopping her. He looked torn, wanting her and not wanting to take advantage. She paused, still in his lap, and finally the part of him that wanted her caved, and he pulled her wrist, his other hand going for her long-locks and pulling her lips back to his, kissing her with fever. His hand finally left her wrist and hair, going down to her backside, and lifting her gingerly and standing, maneuvering them the few steps to her room, and kicking the door shut, as he laid her down, looking at her as she sat up, pulling off her top, and he came to her. And they fumbled with inexperienced hands, stripping each other and falling into each other's hands. Not knowing what the future holds.