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Jealousy’s cradle

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Dean was still fast asleep, and I wasn’t mad about that. It made me happy to see him curled up into me. Knowing he wanted to spend the night with me, made me happy as well. I would spend every day with him if I could, but because of my job that wasn’t possible.

 

While he slept I remembered last night, how Gabriel and I fought and how Dean cried when he heard me talk about being lonely and hating my body. Sure he was high, but you were usually more honest when you were. You didn’t have time to think about being embarrassed because your mouth spoke before your brain. Him crying about my feelings made me realize he cared about me, probably close to as much as I cared about him. I doubted he could even begin to care about me as much as I did him, but it truly warmed my heart. I hated feeling like such a mushy gushy romantic but Dean just made me that way and I couldn't help it. 

 

It was embarrassing that he had heard me speak about that, but I was high too that night and there was no stopping what came out of my mouth. Things had started off well that night, and Gabriel decided that he would like to pick a bone with me. Nothing could ever just go good, there always had to be a hitch in some plan. I just wanted a good night with Dean and my brother, a good night overall. But no, of course, something had to go wrong. 

 

Gabriel had texted me late last night, but I didn’t want to answer. I was still sulking. He had pissed me off, and even though he’d sent apologies, I didn’t believe any of them. He was just trying to get out of the situation he had put himself in. I didn’t feel like talking to him. He wanted to stay with dad, and he believed I was some different person. He was unbelievable. I swore sometimes he had the mental capacity of a child.

 

Dean stirred a little in his sleep, but he didn’t wake up. I almost wished he would, I wanted to talk to him. Hearing his voice really soothed me. He always knew what to say even when I could tell he thought he didn’t. He made me feel better. Just being around him helped things. It was still so damn odd to me, being so incredibly close. I just wanted him by my side all the time, it felt insanely right. 

 

I couldn’t stop thinking about him, or how I’d taken control of him in the bathroom. It was so precious, the way he got so shy about calling me, daddy. I could tell he’d never done anything like that before. I liked the idea of being his first. It blew up my ego just a tad, or maybe a lot. I mean look at him. Imagine being able to tell someone you were the first person he called daddy in a sexual way. But thinking about him calling someone else that in the way he did me, it pissed me off and made me a little jealous. I hated when I got jealous, every time I did when it came to Dean I felt so damn guilty. 

 

I heard Dean yawn and I smiled. Was he awake? Please be awake. I cupped his cheek, my thumb running along his cheek. He smiled, thank THE LORD he was awake. 

 

“Good morning,” he yawned, rubbing his eyes and scooting forward, his arms wrapping around my waist and his head moving into my chest. I smiled softly to myself, my hand now moving over his back.

 

“How’d you sleep?” I asked, wondering if he was going to go back to sleep or if he would stay up. If he was tired of course I wanted him to sleep, but I also wanted him to myself and I wanted to talk to him and kiss on him.

 

“Good,” he said quietly, his voice muffled by my clothes. He still sounded tired, but I couldn’t quite be sure. People always sounded tired when they were under covers.

 

“Are you still tired?” I asked, slipping my hand up under his shirt, rubbing his back up and down gently. He was so warm, and he smelled so good. Somehow he still smelled good after all the bong rips he took last night and after all the drinks he served. It was crazy.

 

“Nu-uh,” he yawned, shaking his head no before sitting up, rubbing his eyes again. His cheeks were creased with the lines of the blankets and my shirt, he definitely slept well. I smiled, moving my hand to the back of his neck, pulling him down to press a kiss to his lips. I felt him smile, and that made me smile.

 

“Great, do you think you’d be up for going out to get some breakfast?” I asked, pulling away from the kiss and waiting for his reply. He nodded enthusiastically, and I grinned in response to that.

 

I moved away from Dean, walking into my bathroom and searching for my toothpaste. I was tired of the flavor I’d chosen, it was too bland, and left a terrible after taste. I quickly brushed my teeth, smiling as I saw dean pick up the spare I had left out for him and do the same.

Peripheral vision was a blessing.

 

“Do you know any nice diners?” Dean asked, spitting in the sink. I did the same and splashed a bit of water in my face. As I lifted my head I turned to look at him, thinking about any nice diners. I knew a nice little 50s themed diner just out of town, it wasn't too far away. I was sure Dean would be okay with going a little out of the way. 

 

“If you don’t mind driving a few minutes outside of town I know this cute little diner with the best food we could stop at,” I offered, walking over to my dresser, pulling off my shirt, and dropping my pants. 

 

I heard dean’s footsteps behind me and felt his arms move around my waist, his forehead against my shoulder blade. I let my hands find his, holding them in my own gently. I liked the closeness of this, it made me feel safe. It was crazy how safe I felt with him. It didn't see, like a delousion either. With April I was never sure when I was safe, when things were genuine. Evem in the beginning when it was the honey moon stage and back in highschool I always found myself doubting the security of our relationship. little did I know that with almost a decade into our relationship she would confirm all my fears. But I didn't ever doubt Dean, he hadn't given me a single reason to. 

 

“Did you know that I think you have the sexiest chest I’ve ever laid eyes on, and the best set of hips I’ve ever seen? And that your tummy is so cute,” he asked, pressing his lips against my skin.

 

I turned around, his arms still around my waist but now my hands set on the sides of his arms. I tilted my head, arching a brow before asking, “No I didn’t, but does you telling me that have anything to do with what I said last night?” I smiled, my hand moving to the back of Dean’s head as I pressed a kiss to the top of it.

 

He sighed, nodding. He was sweet. I was surprised he remembered anything we talked about last night. Even though I hated to agree with anything Gabriel said last night, one thing I could agree with was that Dean could not handle his weed.

 

“It just made me so sad when you said it because I really do think you’re one of if not the hottest people I’ve ever been- slept with,” he stated, correcting himself quickly at the end of his sentence, his cheeks bright red. It made me grin, and I let my hands move down his waist, sitting on the curves of his sides.

 

“Hm, what was that? I couldn’t hear the end of your sentence. Did you say that you’re with me?” I asked, teasing him. He squinted his eyes at me, clearly a little angered by my teasing. Even though I was teasing him, I really did want to hear him say that again. We spent so much time together, and we had gotten so unbelievably close so quickly. I felt as if he were with me and I was with him.

 

“Oh shut up,” he murmured, rolling his eyes.

 

“Okay okay, I’m sorry. I’ll stop teasing,” I smiled, kissing his cheek before moving away from him, picking out an undershirt to pair with the suit I would wear.

 

“No,” Dean said quickly, moving in front of me and standing between myself and the dresser. I cocked my head to the side, confused about what he was talking about.

 

“What?” I asked, not sure of what else I could say.

 

“No suit today, I want to see you in a pair of jeans and a shirt,” he proclaimed, crossing his arms as he stood still.

 

“Oh come on,” I whined, trying to pull Dean from in front of my dresser but he kept his place, his hands moving against the drawers where I couldn’t get to them.

 

“You’re serious?” I sighed.

 

“Very,” he nodded, a grin pulling at the corners of his lips. I rolled my eyes. I didn’t wear jeans much anymore, suits were often my go to. I watched him wait impatiently, so I groaned before walking to my closet, finding a hanger with a pair of old jeans hanging over it.

 

“Dean,” I whined, pulling them off the hanger and holding them up to let him see, “They’re so old. I can’t wear them,” I whined again, hoping he’d let me change into something else other than these jeans.

 

“Can we go shopping then? You can wear gym clothes to breakfast and then we take you shopping for some jeans,” Dean grinned wide before he decided to give me some big puppy eyes, begging.

 

“What is your game here? Why do you want me in jeans so bad?” I asked, walking back over to him and finding his hips with my hands, pulling him against me. I watched as he bit his bottom lip, his tanned cheeks turning bright red.

 

“I just think,” he paused, his hands running up my bare chest, “That you would look really hot in a pair of jeans, all chilled out and relaxed,” he whispered, “a change from the sexy suits.”

 

“So the suits are sexy too?” I asked, arching my brow and watching that familiar purse of his lips he wore when he was getting mad and frustrated with being teased.

 

“Actually, yes, jerk, they are,” he grumbled, letting out a small huff. I smiled softly before letting my hand find his chin, bringing his gaze back to me. I pressed a gentle kiss to his pretty lips and then nodded. He was right, all I ever did was wear suits. It has become a habit.

 

“Alright, I’ll buy myself some jeans,” I laughed, pressing another quick kiss to his lips. I then walked back to my dresser, grabbing a pair of athletic shorts and then digging in them for a breathable t-shirt.

 

“Look at you, being all nice and letting me force you to wear jeans,” Dean chuckled, moving before me and finding a t-shirt for me with ease. He held it out to me, and I took it with a smile. I pulled it over my head, feeling as if I should be in bed considering this type of shirt is what I found myself sleeping in.

 

“It’ll be fun, anything with you is fun,” I beamed at him, my lips wide with a smile. I found my gym sneakers and paired them with a pair of socks. I tied them tightly, and then looked up and saw dean just looking down to me, smiling sweetly. I squinted my eyes, tilting my head, what was he thinking about?

 

“What is it?” I asked curiously, placing my palms on the bed behind me.

 

“I just really like you,” he blushed before moving forward, pressing me against the bed gently. His hand running down my chest before he found his way on to my lap. It was early for this type of intimacy, but I didn’t mind. It was almost as if I were addicted to Dean. Addicted to wanting to be around him, to wanting to touch him and please him.

 

“Good, I really like you too, Dean,” I chuckled, watching him lean down and allow his lips to hover over my own. I moved my lips against his, not letting him take his time. I let my hands find the curves of his waist as I always did, holding onto him tightly. He held one of my cheeks with his hand, kissing me deeply as he did so. Though I had kissed Dean thinking it would lead elsewhere, I could tell this kiss was a different kind of kiss. It wasn’t a kiss to start us off, it was a caring kiss, a kiss with sweet intentions.

 

“Are you ready to go eat breakfast now?” Dean asked as he broke the kiss we shared, his hand still holding my cheek so softly. I missed his lips, but I would deal with that. I nodded gently and watched as he slid off of me, looking rather giddy. He did love to eat, maybe I’d buy him some pie. He seemed to enjoy pie very much. Then again, that wasn’t breakfast food, was it?

 

***

“What are you going to order?” Dean asked, his eyes still scanning the menu with intent, narrowing his eyes as he tried to narrow down his options.

 

I clicked my tongue to the rooftop of my mouth, still trying to narrow down the options myself. This diner had tons of good options and their food actually tasted great. That’s why I went out of my way to come here all the time, I suppose they considered me a regular. Well, I considered myself a regular as well. But unlike the typical regular, I didn’t have a usual. I liked to change it up, so this decision was almost as hard as Dean’s decision.

 

“Hm, I think I’m going to get the French toast,” I answered, folding my menu closed and sitting it to the side.

 

“There’s a meal that comes with pancakes and a side of bacon and sausage, that seems like something you might like,” I suggested, taking a sip of the water the waiter had served us while we looked at our menus.

 

“That's combo number 4,” he said to himself, tapping it before nodding and looking back up to me, “I’ll get that,” he smiled, closing his menu as well and sitting it aside.

 

“Cas, I’m sorry about what happened last night,” Dean mumbled, pulling the wrapper off of his straw, messing with the paper. He was anxious about apologizing, I could tell by the way he ripped up the tiny little pieces of paper. He really had nothing to apologize for. I wasn’t upset with anything he had done last night. It would’ve been a great night if it hadn’t been for Gabriel.

 

“There’s nothing you need to apologize for Dean if anything I should. I allowed my fight with Gabriel to effect the night, none of that was your doing,” I said softly, leaning forward and placing my hand on his, stopping him from tearing the paper anymore, while comforting him at the same time. Multitasking.

 

“I know it’s just, I pushed you two to make up because I wanted you to have a good relationship like I do with Sam. I shouldn’t have pushed so hard,” he sighed, and the waitress brought over our plates. She looked at our joined hands with a turned up nose gave us a forced smile once she noticed I had seen her ill glance. She was probably uncomfortable by the level of intimacy Dean and shared. I didn’t care enough to set her straight, her homophobic tendencies would be coming out of her tip.

 

“You didn’t push, you tried. There’s a difference. Now eat your food baby,” I smiled, squeezing his hand and watching him smile as I called him the pet name he loved so much.

 

Dean was so much different than I had assumed he would be the first night I had laid eyes on him. He wore this tough outer shell, but once you broke through it or got close he was so soft, and so sweet, and so gentle.

 

***

 

“How are these?” I asked, opening the dressing room door and holding my hands out, letting Dean get a good look at the jeans. Dean circled his finger in the air, wanting me to spin around, so I did.

 

This would be about the tenth thing I’ve tried on for Dean today. He was having fun with this, almost too much fun. I swore it felt like a movie montage, music running as I came out in a new outfit every five seconds. He insisted that most of the things just weren’t “hot,” enough. He was waiting for “the pair.”

 

Dean had rejected so many different jeans and shirts. We came for jeans but he ended up wanting me to try on much more than that. He had to have mistaken himself for a judge on America’s next top model with the way he was acting. It was cute though.

 

I heard him hum as he pondered and then felt his hands on my sides. That was a change. My hands usually found their way to his sides, or his hips, or his thighs. Never this way.

 

His hands held me a bit tight before spinning me back to him, his lips now on mine. I’d have to wear jeans more often if this was how easy it was to get a kiss from him while wearing them.

 

“They look so good, almost as good as those green pants with the loose button up blue shirt. You looked so hot in that,” he whispered, looking around us before rushing us back into the dressing room, locking the door behind us.

 

“What are you so eager for?” I teased as he pushed me to the long booth chair in the dressing room, moving onto my lap in only seconds.

 

“You worked me up last night and just left me like that,” he pouted, running his hands over my chest, a small smirk finding its way onto his lips, “so now, with you looking so sexy,” he grinned, a small chuckle leaving his mouth, “I’m going to have fun.”

 

With that sentence, he began to grind against me and the jeans that didn’t belong to me. He believed he had some aim here, I’d let him think that for a while. He had to know by now that we followed my rules, not his.

 

“I told you I would take care of you,” I whispered, feeling those jeans tighten against my crotch the more he rolled into me, his face relaxed and his lips parted so prettily.

 

“It was taking too long, I need you bad,” he whined, his fingers finding the buttons of the jeans, and then the zipper. He was getting ahead of himself, eager little baby.

 

“You should learn to be patient like a good boy,” I advised, my hand running up his back, laying on the back of his neck once I found it.

 

Dean leaned forward, his tongue running over my jawline before his teeth found my ear, nipping lightly at my lobe, his lips hovering next to my ear, “Maybe I’m a bad boy, daddy,” he whispered, sending chills up my spine.

 

I gripped the back of his neck, making sure his eyes met mine, “you do know, bad boys, get punished. Don’t you?” I warned, letting my eyes narrow on him. He nodded, and I knew he wanted to get punished, to be reprimanded. Maybe he wanted to revisit that spanking, or maybe he wanted something new.

 

“Get on your knees,” I spat, watching him move onto the floor of the dressing room, his green eyes locked on mine, awaiting my next command.

 

“Go ahead, be a good slut for me. Make daddy feel good,” I growled, realizing what I had said once I watched his face. First, he looked confused, and then he blushed. It wasn’t like me to degrade someone without knowing if they liked that sort of thing, but as he quickly moved his lips down my length, it was obvious he did.

 

I would’ve kept that up if he wasn’t working so precisely. I couldn’t put my attention to any phrases of degradation because my mind was elsewhere. He was moving fast, yet he had a rhythm to it. And if we weren’t in public, my moans would be much louder than they were.

 

I opened my eyes to look down to him, my hand running through his hair. He’d started to go slower, almost like he was trying to tease. He should’ve learned by now that teasing would only warrant punishment. I used the fist I had in his hair to move him down my length faster, bringing his lips to my base each time he came down. I watched as his eyes began to water. He was trying his best not to show how hard it was to take it, but the spit that ran over his lips and to his chin was dead

giveaway.

 

“Look at you, making a mess of yourself for me,” I paused, watching to see how he reacted to that sentence before I proceeded with the next, “such a good little slut for me,” I said in this low voice I always managed to produce at times like these. Low and smooth with a hint of rasp.

 

He clearly enjoyed being degraded, his cheeks were flushed with red but his tongue moved skillfully in all the right places even as I forced him down my cock. It was almost as if he’d discovered something about himself. Dean was from a small town and moved to a smaller town, maybe he didn’t know all the wonders of kinks. I was starting to think about the many kinks he might have, and how I could pull them out from deep within him.

 

I used the grip I had on his hair to yank him up, watching him gasp in air. I smirked at that, I never failed to get a big head overhearing that gasp from needing to come up, the small gag people always hid, too ashamed to admit I was almost too big for them. My ego tended to inflate rather easily about my sexual providence.

 

I pulled him up to the booth beside me, my right hand moving around his neck as I crashed my lips against his. I felt his hand move to my member, his thumb running over my tip as our lips moved in sync.

 

I heard Dean’s belt begin to unloop and I broke our kiss, my hand moving on top of his as I shook my head, “I don’t want us to move too fast,” I whispered, my stomach a little tight. I was close, but now things were different. His hand wasn’t working me anymore and I knew he heard me.

 

“But I need you,” he whined, sitting his forehead on my shoulder. I chuckled a bit, glad he wasn’t angry at me. I didn’t pin him for someone who’d get mad about that. He wasn’t a creep.

 

“I know, but things are different from the first time we got intimate Dean,” I paused, breathing in deeply. This wasn’t the best setting for this, but I had to say it some time or another, “I have feelings for you now, and I don’t want to move too fast. I almost slept with you that first night because I didn’t think I was going to see you again,” I explained, sucking my lips in as I got nervous awaiting his reply. I knew he liked me, he’d said so multiple times, but I didn’t know if he meant in the way I did. Saying you have feelings for someone is very different than saying you like them, at least I thought so.

 

I looked over his face, looking for any signs of him being uncomfortable or startled. He wasn’t, he was blushing and smiling and the next thing I knew he was kissing me delicately.

 

“I have feelings for you too,” he whispered against my lips, his hands sitting on my shoulders before standing up, “you’re going to have to buy those pants now,” he laughed, pushing his hands into his pockets.

 

“Why is that?” I asked, cocking my head to the side.

 

“You messed them up,” he grinned, leaning against the dressing room wall. He pointed to my crotch, and I looked down, feeling my cheeks turn to fire when I noticed the precum on the seam on the jeans. Great, couldn’t wait for the look of the clerk at checkout.

 

***

Dean had to work at the bar the day we had shopped, so sadly I couldn’t bring him home with me again. Which I wanted to do so badly because of what we’d talked about in the dressing room. Not the kinks, but the feelings we shared. I wanted to hear more about how he felt about me, and I wanted to see where we were if we could move forward with this relationship. I didn’t know what to call him, was he my friend or my boyfriend?

 

I hadn’t seen him today, which sucked. Even in the office, I was just focused on how badly I wanted to see him. It was getting close to dinner, so soon I could swing by his bar if I wanted to. I’d take my dinner there.

 

Thanks to Dean telling me he had feelings for me as well, I was only thinking about that and not Gabriel. Occasionally I’d think about Gabriel whenever he’d text me. He was trying, so I should try and be the bigger man but I just couldn’t bring myself to. He’d really hurt me. He’d said I had changed and let my job get to my head when in reality the job controlled me and not the other way around. I barely got time to myself, I didn’t have enough time for myself to be able to change.

 

“Mr. Novak, you have a visitor,” Luci buzzed in. I didn’t care for him too much, but he was under my father’s employment.

 

“Thank you,” I buzzed back, standing up and walking to the door, unlocking it. Dean! It was Dean, and I was so happy. He smiled when he saw me, and I was so happy to see that pretty flashy smile.

 

“You weren’t answering your phone so I figured you were still at the office, so I thought I’d swing by and have dinner with you,” Dean smiled, and I wrapped him in a tight hug before bringing him inside and locking the door after us.

 

“I’m so glad you came, I was so bored all day,” I sighed, pulling out two chairs for us to sit at the small table next to the bar. I watched him sit down the food he’d brought, and I was guessing it was takeout because of the Chinese writing on the plastic bag.

 

“I’m on break at the bar so I was more than happy to swing by. Not to be clingy but I really missed you,” he laughed, opening up the bag and sitting the to-go boxes on the table.

 

“I like clingy,” I smiled, leaning over and kissing his cheek before sitting down on one of the chairs I’d pulled out. I opened each to go box, trying to figure out which one was for me but I hadn’t had Chinese’s in so long. I wouldn’t know what I would want even if I had gotten it for myself.

 

“I didn’t know what you’d like so I went with the classic, sesame chicken, rice and noodles,” he smiled, sitting down in front of me and finding the spoons and forks in the bag.

 

“Sounds perfect,” I smiled, pulling the plastic wrap off of my fork and beginning to poke around at the food until I jabbed something. I brought it to my mouth, taking a bite and then closing my eyes. I’d forgotten how good Chinese food was. I used to eat it all the time, but takeout wasn’t always an option for me, and it definitely wasn’t healthy.

 

“How was work today?” I asked, watching him rip off the plastic wrapping off his fork as well. He shrugged his shoulders, and I could tell there was something wrong.

 

“What’s wrong?” I asked, not taking another bite yet.

 

“Ruby, Sam’s ex or whatever she is, came to see him today. I don’t know if I like her or not, I’m debating on it. But they’ve been fighting, and then making up...a lot,” Dean laughed, but I could tell it was bothering him. Not the…making up, but ruby, and Sam and her fighting. I smiled sympathetically, moving my hand on top of his, squeezing gently, attempting to comfort him.

 

“It’ll be okay, they’re young, this is fun for them even if they don’t know it yet. Young couples in young love, love to fight,” I assured him, letting go of his hand and watching him think about what I had said. There wasn’t much advice I could give Dean. Sometimes things didn’t have a definite solution.

 

“Do you think maybe I could sleep at your place tonight? I know I stay there a lot, but with ruby, at the house, I just don’t feel at home I guess.” He sighed, beginning to eat his meal.

 

“Of course you can, always,” I smiled, twirling my fork in the noodles, struggling to slurp them up the way I had as a child. It made Dean chuckle, but I wasn’t embarrassed.

 

“Hey, Cas?” He said quietly, grabbing a napkin and wiping the sauce off of his chin.

 

“Yeah?” I asked, searching for a drink. Two were in the bag, two soda bottles of the same flavor. I pulled one out and twisted off the cap, taking a large swing.

 

“Last night, when you said you had feelings for me, what did that mean? For us I mean?” Dean asked, stammering a bit. I could tell he was nervous, but I was glad he asked. I wanted to ask the same thing because I had no idea where we stood.

 

“I don’t honestly know what it means for us, I was hoping you would. I just know that I really like you, and my feelings for you are strong, and I’m not and I don’t want to pursue anyone else,” I answered, wondering if he would be satisfied with that answer. I wasn’t. Were we dating? Were we not dating?

 

“So...does that mean we’re dating?” He asked, and I couldn’t tell if he wanted that to be the answer or not. I would let us move at Dean’s pace. I wanted him to be comfortable with me, and if that meant putting any relationship together on hold to let him catch up to where I am, then I was okay with that.

 

“Do you want that to be what it means?” I asked, receiving an annoyed look from Dean, it was cute though. It was like he expected me to choose or me to already know. He even went as far to cross his arms across his chest.

 

“What?” I chuckled, taking a bite of the takeout Dean had brought me, watching a smile bud on Dean’s lips.

 

“Of course that’s what I want that to mean,”

Dean grinned, standing up and walking over to me, sitting on one of my knees.

 

“Are you sure? I don’t want to rush you,” I asked, wanting to know for certain that Dean wasn’t just saying things to please me.

 

“I’m positive,” he smiled softly, his lips pressing a sweet kiss to the side of my cheek before they met my ear, “Now let’s go back to your place,” he urged in this voice I hadn’t heard before, but oddly enough, I knew what it meant.

 

***

When Dean and I had finally made it into the hallway of my floor, he was in my arms with his legs wrapped around my waist. Our lips met in passionate kisses, sloppy and wet and desperate. The weeks that I had waited for this felt like months. Dean was different than anyone I’d ever been with, even April. She didn’t match up to him, not in one category.

 

My left hand fished in my pocket for my keys, my right holding him up though he helped. I quickly unlocked the door, kicking it closed with the back of my heel.

 

His hands moved in my hair, his lips against mine still. Everything was so desperate on both sides. I’d wondered how long Dean had tried for this. Was it as long as me? It couldn’t be.

 

“Oh, Hiya brother!”

 

Dean’s lips fell from mine as did mine from him, our eyes both darted to where the voiced boomed from.

 

Gabriel.

He was in a loosely tied robe and a pair of socks that looked to be a couple of years old by how many toes were sticking out of holes. He held a newspaper in his hand, and he was leaving the bathroom.

 

Not only was my brother a mood killer, but that sure as hell was too.

 

“How the hell did you get in?” I spat, hearing Dean whine into my shoulder. He slid down my grasp, standing in front of me and against me, not looking to Gabriel. He was probably embarrassed, and oh- he was hard. So was I, so I was thankful that Dean stood against me like that. Gabriel didn’t need to know anything else to use against us to poke fun like he no doubt would.

 

“You have my name on the list to get buzzed in when you’re not home,” he chuckled, his brows raised high. Why was he acting like everything was okay? It wasn’t.

 

“I’ve been meaning to take that off,” I grumbled, wishing he would go back to wherever he came from so dean and I could stop cowering away.

 

“Oh come on, are you still mad about the other day?” He yawned, leaning against the kitchen counter, grabbing an already opened beer off of it and taking a sip obnoxiously.

 

“Of course I’m still mad about it, but that’s beside the point. What are you doing here?” I asked, feeling Dean mess with the buttons of my shirt, but out of nervousness. He was fidgeting, probably more embarrassed than myself.

 

“Dad booted me out when he found a few joints in the room he lent me, said he couldn’t have another scandal. Sooo, I had to come here,” he explained, but I wasn’t satisfied. Apparently had spoken to Bartholomew and April during his stay, why not spend a few nights there.

 

“Since you’re such good friends with Bartholomew and April now, why don’t you crash at their place, huh? Why mine? You practically said I’m a stranger to you. Why stay with a stranger?” I asked, being petty indeed but I didn’t care to change my attitude.

 

“I’m not friends with them Cas and you know that they just came and ranted to me about what happened because I was living with dad. That’s all,” he sighed, finally dropping the cheery demeanor.

 

“Whatever, I’m not dealing with this now. Just go to a room or something,” I showed him off, watching him grin as he walked into the guest room.

 

“I’m so sorry,” I muttered, watching as Dean sat his chin on my chest, looking up to me the way he did that made my heart beat so very fast.

 

“It’s okay Cas, we’re used to interruptions by now,” he laughed, finding my hands with his own. He rubbed his thumbs over mine for once, and it calmed me down. I know truly understood why I did that so often.

 

“Want to finish the dinner I brought you? It’s outside in your car, I’ll go get it,” he offered, and I nodded. That sounded great. It was a good transition from what just happened, things weren’t so awkward now. They had been terribly awkward while we stood, hiding each other’s hard-ons while I argued with my brother.

 

Dean smiled, jogging to the door and once it closed I sighed. Stupid Gabriel. Getting in the way of me fucking Dean. I wanted to fuck Dean more than I’d ever wanted to fuck anyone, and Gabriel got in the way of it. Of course, he did. Stupid Gabriel.

 

I walked to the fridge, hearing footsteps behind me. I knew they weren’t Dean’s, so I wasn’t all too excited to turn around. I knew it it was Gabriel, so instead I opened the fridge and grabbed Dean and me two new drinks, making sure they were cold enough before I sat them out.

 

“Castiel, I’m sorry for what I said the other night. I guess I just got jealous and I hated that we weren’t always together like we used to be. You know I admire you,” Gabriel sighed, and I turned around, seeing him in a t-shirt and shorts now. Thank gosh. That loose robe had startled me. It had looked like it would fall at any moment, and just thinking about that I almost threw up.

 

“I don’t really know what to say to you Gabriel, you hid that you were here from me, and stayed with dad. I mean dad ?” I laughed, but it wasn’t a happy laugh it was more one of disbelief.

 

“I’m sorry Castiel, I don’t know what else to say. I’ve apologized so many times-”

 

“I’m just struggling to believe that you meant even one of those apologies,” I muttered, shrugging my shoulders, looking back to him, seeing something different in his eyes other than the usual twinkle of cockiness.

 

“I did mean it Castiel, I meant every one of them. I never talked to you about how I felt and last night wasn’t the right way to go about it, and ignoring you definitely wasn’t the right way either,” he explained.

 

Before I got the chance to explain, I heard a knock on the door.

 

“Cas it’s me,” Dean called, and I jogged over to the door. It wasn’t locked but his hands were probably full. I opened it, taking one of the bags from his hands so I could free up his hands.

 

I helped Dean set my coffee table with the to go boxes, bringing the drinks over and setting up the tv. I liked watching tv with Dean with a blanket over us, but this time it would be innocent. It wouldn’t lead to anything, and even though I had wanted nothing more than to wreck him, now I was perfectly content with laying on the couch and eating cheap takeout with him.

 

I didn’t look back to see what Gabriel was doing, but I wish I had because when I stood up from laying out the blankets he was sitting in one of the living room chairs. He just didn’t understand space, or when I needed it.

 

I didn’t give him any sort of satisfaction out of a reaction, I just plopped down on the couch next to Dean and cut on the tv. I switched it onto the movie channels, figuring we could just watch whatever was on.

 

“Hey, Sammy and Bobby have the later shift the day after tomorrow, and I have the early shift, so maybe you could stop by my house them? House to ourselves?” He said in between bites of Chinese.

 

“I’d love that,” I nodded, twirling my fork in the noodles once more, bringing the fork into my mouth. I saw dean smile in the corner of my eye, and then replace that smile with a large bite of chicken, filling his cheeks up like a squirrel does with nuts.

 

“How long have you known each other?” Gabriel asked, reminding me he was here. Ew.

 

“Mm, about as long as you’ve been in town,” Dean answered, which made me chuckle. He hadn’t meant to sound passive-aggressive, but he did and I loved it.

 

“Man I would’ve pinned this for a fully committed relationship,” Gabriel laughed, but I felt Dean tense and then myself. We had barely talked about what we were. We were dating, but what did that mean to Dean? What did it mean to me? Some people thought dating was just when you went on dates with a few people, and some considered it being a couple.

 

“We’ve talked a little about it,” I replied, wondering if Gabriel wanted to instigate as he always did. He loved causing chaos. It was his trademark.

 

“Maybe you should talk about it some more because I really like this one Castiel,” Gabriel suggested before standing up and walking back to the guest room. I couldn’t tell if this was genuine concern or a plot to cause chaos. If it was the second, it didn’t work because Dean just leaned into me, putting his plate down. I did the same, wrapping my arm around him and watching the tv.

 

“I think you’re my boyfriend,” Dean said softly, looking up at me with those big green eyes, I could see a little nervousness locked in with his gaze.

 

“I think I am too,” I smiled, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

 

I was Dean’s boyfriend, and he was mine and holy shit did I have the prettiest boyfriend to ever walk the face of the earth or the heavens. I didn’t care what anyone said, Dean was prettier than everyone’s boyfriends and girlfriends combined, and he was all mine.