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You're moving into my heart and into my soul

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Spring of 1974.

 

He looked into your eyes and the first feeling that struck you was genuine happiness.
This beautiful boy who sat across from you had effortlessly unlocked something in you, something you didn't know you had, but he managed to coax it out of you right away.
Hours had passed since you sat down by a table in the corner, but it felt like only seconds had gone by. You couldn't stop smiling and didn't remember how many cups of coffee you had had or how many cigarettes he had smoked as you talked. The words seemed to flow so spontaneously at his presence.

 

"You should come see the play I'm in" he said as he lit a cigarette.

"Oh yeah, what's the play?" you asked and sipped your hot coffee.

"It's called Rocky Horror Show" he said and inhaled deeply. "I think you'd like it. It's really kitschy and camp - right up your alley"

He grinned as he shifted position in his chair and ran his hand through his dark curls.

"Real glitzy" he chuckled.

You smiled.

"I'd love to"

"And it feels so right, you know. I'm really enjoying myself"

"I'm glad to hear"

"I struggled for so long, trying to figure out what I wanted to do, but now I feel like I've found what's right for me"

His face lit up as he spoke and you found yourself enchanted by his beautiful and honest charisma. You loved to watch him talk about the things he felt passion for.
You loved the sparkle in his eyes.
He reached for you. His hands were warm and soft and they fit so perfectly in yours.

"I know exactly what you mean" you said and squeezed him a little. "I feel the same way about my band and our music. Things are starting to happen for us at last and I've finally found what I wanna do with my life, you know, that 'life path' everybody talks about"

He smiled.

"What's your favorite song?" he asked and put the cigarette between his lips.

"By my band?"

"No, generally, what get's your heart rate flowing?

You sat back. Observing him from underneath your lashes.

"When a man loves a woman, Percy Sledge. Hands down..."

***

 

Winter of 1979.

 

"Ok, well fuck it then!"

Was the last thing he barked at you before his cue, abrasively shrugging your hand off his shoulder. He was upset when he came on stage and you could tell that his erratic behaviour was a result of him being frustrated and angry. He was acting deliberately aloof and arrogant as a way of venting his anger and as you watched him from your spot in the wings you knew he would bring his agitated state of mind off the stage when the gig was done.

You were in a real awkward stage of your relationship right now and sometimes it felt like all you did was fight and the bickering that had been going on and off for days now took its toll on stage. Your heart broke for him, cause you knew he suffered - he just didn't let it show. But you saw it. Nobody could read him the way you did and nobody understood him the way you did.
If he had been at home now you knew he would be crying out of frustration and anguish.
And if you happened to walk in on him in that vulnerable state and wanted to comfort him, he would act as if nothing was wrong and keep you pushed away. Emotionally anyways.

Your heart sped up and you nervously tapped your fingers on the wall as you knew S.O.S was up next. That song had come to be your song; yours and his, and he would often sing it for you when you were sad. He loved to cradle you in his arms and sing softly when you needed a little extra nearness.
You had heard him talk backstage that he wanted to scrap it for tonights gig, cause it was just too raw and intimate to sing right now. You hadn't heard what the others thought about it so you didn't know if they would actually do it or not, and Tim hadn't mentioned anything to you before they got on stage. He hadn't said much to you at all that night and it hurt you deep down when he acted the way he did. You knew he needed you to be there, but his pride could be so detrimental and he refused to be perceived as weak.
And as he announced the song, you held your breath for a couple of second and leaned against the wall for physical support. You had secretly wished they wouldn't play it.

Tim's mental state shifted slightly and you could see how he struggled all through the song, struggling not to cry and to not look in your direction. But he knew you were there, he didn't really have to look, he could sense you.
You placed a hand over your beating heart and it hammered hard along with your anxiety and sorrow. You also wanted to cry, you suffered just as much as he did, he was just better at hiding it.

It took for the song to be over before you could breathe normally again and you had to turn away as you wiped tears from your face.
You watched as he proceeded with his songs, owning that stage in the way only he could, pretending like everything was fine.
And as they finished 'I do the rock' you ached for him, you needed him to hold you and tell you eveything was going to be ok.

He walked right towards you as he came off stage, and you unconsciously held your breath, prepared for his rude behaviour and having to fight back. But he smiled, his face so gorgeously lit up and radiant. He stopped infront of you. Not saying anything. Just looking at you with that whimsical smile of his. That genuine smile that sometimes shone through. He placed his hand on your cheek and opened his mouth to speak, but were interrupted when someone shouted;

"Yo Curry! Are we gonna do this or what?"

He blinked a few times when he was snapped out of his haze and shouted back;

"I'll be right there"

He looked at you again.

"Are you mad at me?" he asked in a low voice.

You placed your own hand ontop of his.

"No, I'm not mad"

He stepped in and closed the distance between the the of you. He emitted such heat that you had to restrain yourself. You wanted to hurl yourself at him, embrace him and say you were sorry. That you needed him. He held your gaze and both of you smiled knowingly at each other at the same time. Words were sometimes totally unnecessary between you
as it would usually just take a look for you to understand each other.
He leaned in and cupped your face with his hands and as he softly kissed you he was tapped on the shoulder, calling for him to snap out of it and that they were headed back on stage again.

"Go" you whispered with your lips on his.

He took a step back.

"We've changed the setlist a little"

"You have? what's the change?"

"What's your favorite song?" he asked and winked at you.

Your eyes widened for a second. You knew exactly what he was referring to and it made your heart pound in your chest. He grinned and without saying anything he left to go back on stage.
You found yourself completely ecstatic and stunned when Tim started singing;

"When a man loves a woman can't keep his mind on nothin' else..."

And this time you didn't turn away as you wiped tears from your face.