Rafael really didn't mean to do it. It's just- fuck- there's so many EMOTIONS that have all these different faces and it's so cute and he can't help it, really. He loved taking notes growing up. It would make everything easier. Why did he have to be such an efficient student? He regrets it now.
8 months ago
He really doesn't know when his hand begins to sketch the pale face that sits in a corner of his office. It's been a long day, and yet Sonny is still here- reading up on case notes and helping him prep. There's a pen teasing his mouth and he's not fully squinting, but every so often his eyes will twitch and hold it. His eyebrows are furrowed and in a rare, blessed moment, his nose will scrunch. It's endearing. Disgusting, really. So yes he should be reading, and he feels bad for making Sonny put in extra work, but he can't help what his hands do. Like how they title the page in his notebook "Concentration" with bullets for each trait it seems to bring. He can't even help the little concentrated Sonny on his paper.
"It's been a long day. Want takeout?" He regrets speaking- Sonny's face softens as he looks up and he smiles.
6 months ago
He's always wanted to do a note for happy. Nothing had ever seemed to really fit the bill. Sure, he would smile and laugh but there was always something held off. He now knows it was just the work environment- or maybe just being sober. The whole gang had gone for a drink, but Olivia had headed home and Sonny was laughing with Dodds. Before he knows it, the notebook is on the table and "Happy" is written down. The bullets underneath tell of Sonny's wide dimples, and the way his eyes crinkle at the edges. If you look at his face up close you can see the wrinkles. Not that he's ever really noticed. They don't really have any personal space. Anyway- even his eyes light up, and that is what the smile was missing. He can see them from his spot in the distance, like a bright blue beacon. Sonny breaks the eye contact he had had with Dodds and those bright blues meet his own green eyes. The smile doesn't fade- if anything it grows more bright. Sonny blushes for some reason, and looks down. There's another note. The drawings are incomparable, really, but what can he say? He wants something to hold onto (he won't ever forget this moment).
3 months ago
Sleep isn't an emotion- obviously. He knows that. Still, here he is with "Sleepy" on the top of his paper. Sonny's cheeks are dusted pink, maybe more so in the dim light. It's just past 1:30, but Sonny had an Exam and Rafael wasn't tired yet. He can see the blue eyes growing darker, eyelids growing heavy with impossibly long lashes fanning over his face. When he yawns, his nose squishes up and his eyes twist. He knows Sonny will pass. At this point- he wonders if maybe Sonny knows more than the professor. Probably. Sonny is now laying his head down on the table- a book for a pillow. He decides to spare Sonny the sore neck and back, and opts to wake him up. It's time for him to go home, too. He'll be cranky tomorrow with no sleep.
"Hey- Son. Sonny." He really makes sure that his voice is gentle and shakes are soft and yet Sonny's head pops up- now awake but disoriented.
"Rafa-Rafael? Wha happen?" Sadly, Sonny's voice is not thick with sleep, and even sadder? He corrected himself on the use of a (maybe) nickname. It could have been just wishful thinking. Even so, Sonny's right cheek is red and he looks more tired than before.
"I decided to wake you, I didn't want you to be sore tomorrow." Sonny's eyes widen and he THINKS he hears a "wish I could be" from a younger man's mouth- but he's probably just tired.
"Alright, goodnight Barba. Thank you for the help with the studying." That same soft smile is rewarded to him, and his heart leaps.
1 month ago
There had been one emotion that he had hoped he would never have to take note of. Sadness. It takes over Sonny's whole body. His shoulders sink and his bright, beautiful face, baby blue eyes, are brought down with a dark look. When he is sad, his eyes are downcast and his whole face follows. His eyebrows go from scrunched on his face to completely calm, and his eyes are rimmed with red from crying. They make the sad blue stand out and Rafael wishes he could hug him again. It had been a rough, rough case. Kidnapping, ransom note, girl was gone for a week while they chased and chased- only to find her dead. 30 minutes at the most. Sonny and come into his office with his face and screwed up and thrown himself upon Rafael and cried into his neck. Really, he doesn't know why. He had never seen Sonny cry and had never thought he would be the to run his fingers through the hard blonde hair, combing the gel that was probably from at least yesterday (he probably hadn't slept or eaten) while making soft noises to calm him down. They stand like that for a while longer before Sonny dislodges himself from Rafael, looking guilty. Rafael just smiles at him, and wipes the remaining tears from Sonny's eyes. They don't speak much after that- and the incident never comes up again. When the sketch is on paper, it's of thick eyelashes clumped together and a thumb wiping a tear from wet eyes.
Rafael is sad to say he hasn't seen Sonny much. There hasn't been thai food or study sessions or paperwork. No. There's been rough cases and long hours and too much coffee and not enough of his boy. But today- today, he won. It was a hard case and well fought. He had gotten upset, but hadn't let his temper get the best of him and in the end- the asshole got a life sentence. Another thing that happened today- a new emotion. One he hadn't seen before. It had been right after his cross- examination. Probably one of the best he's ever had. Sonny had been watching in the gallery today- having less time to shadow him. He hadn't meant to hone on the face but it was natural now. Something was wrong, though. His face was flushed and his lips were parted. He hadn't really meant to show his concern, but based off Sonny's tight lipped smile- he had. He also probably wasn't supposed to catch Sonny's uncomfortable shift, but he did. His eyes traveled the length of his body and- oh. His eyes flick up and Sonny makes eye contact, face flushing with guilt and embarrassment. Instead of making him more uncomfortable (hopefully) he flicks his tongue out to wet his lower lip and smirks. Before he turns to sit he's blessed with the view of that glorious initial flush. He's going to have to take a note on that one. It falls under "arousal" with notations of blown pupils, spread legs, flushed cheeks (flushed body?), and submission. Triple underlined.
He had finally been able to meet with Sonny. It was only for a quick moment, a comparison of notes on a case and a quick hello. Sonny had invited him for drinks tomorrow at 7, after work. He giddily agreed, and Sonny grinned. It was probably why neither of them noticed that he had accidentally grabbed Rafael's notebook- identical to Sonny's. He really didn't even notice until later on- when he flips it open and his heart stops. This isn't his handwriting. These aren't his notes. He can feel his heartbeat in his ears and the dread is flowing through his veins. Sonny will see. He's going to know that Rafael is this big stalking creep. He's going to KNOW. His heart drops to his toes when he gets a message notification from Sonny
Let's change that drink to tonight. See you at 7.
He's on his second drink, and he's surprised the glass hasn't slipped from his hand. The seat next to him creaks as someone sits down, and Rafael is almost afraid to look.
"Rafa, look at me, please." Sonny just called him Rafa. Like Rafael. But short. AND his voice was soft. He is confused. He turns anyway, and doesn't meet the blue eyes he feels on him. Warm hands touch his chin and lift his face. He's met with that same soft smile he's been getting for months, and those same glowing eyes that he had seen in the bar.
"Can I kiss you, would you mind?" He wants to drop his mouth open. Did Sonny just ask to kiss him? Like? Lips on lips?
"Yes," he somehow manages to croak out. "I don't think I would mind too much."
Warm lips are pressed to his. There aren't the fireworks that he always reads about in those cheesy novels, no. These lips feel more like home. Safe. He could probably kiss them all day. They're soft and smiling against his, and he knows he's smiling back. When they need to breathe, Sonny is the one to pull back while Rafael made a noise of discontent.
"I saw your notes." Ah, yes. Those dreaded notes. "I liked them. Did you see mine?" His? No, he had shut the notebook in fear that it was really his in disguise, which he could believe if he just never opened it again. Instead of speaking, he shakes his head. Sonny looks surprised. "Can I see my notebook?" Rafael turns to get it out of his briefcase, head once again down when he hands it over.
"Hey, none of that." Sonny's voice is soft again. He hands Rafael an open page in the book and- it's got his suits and how they relate to his mood for the day? He reads over them. He didn't even realize that he did this.
"I wear green when I'm happy, huh? I thought that was a sadder color." Sonny tilts his head.
"No, your eyes get bright when you wear it. I love the color." Really, he can't take how fucking disgustingly cute this man is, so he kisses him before he gets the chance to speak again. When they pull back again, Sonny is handing him something. The note on arousal. He takes a good look at the man in front of him. Flushed cheeks, Pupils blown, legs spread.
"You wanna get out of here?"