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They Do Not See What I See

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The little meme sometimes wished she wasn’t so very small. She had rigged up a pulley system to hoist the virtual reality system into the safe and was in the middle of pulling it up when Rebecca walked in.

“Hey, what are you doing?”


“The doctor said only an hour every other day, and it’s not that I don’t trust you, but I just don’t want you to get tempted and set your recovery back.”


“It sucks, doesn’t it? I’m- I’m sorry you have to see me like this. I suppose this”, she gestured down at her thin, sickly body and twitching hands, wasn’t really what you were expecting when you crawled in through the window.”


Seeing the forlorn look on her beloved’s face, the little meme stopped hoisting up the virtual reality system and scuttled over to Rebecca.


“Hey. Listen to me. When I crawled in, you were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen, and since then, you’ve only become more amazing. You’re not weak for falling prey to addiction, but every step you take towards becoming healthier makes you just that much stronger in my eyes.”


“Thanks.” Rebecca stroked the little meme tenderly. “Do you want me to help you with that?”


“Are you sure? You really don’t have to.”


“I’m sure.” She picked up the virtual reality system, the angle of the headgear making it look like it was over her eyes when she looked down at the black metal of the processing unit. It looked so inviting. Surely just half an hour couldn’t hurt? Her meme was too small to pull off the headset, so she wouldn’t have to worry about being interrupted. After a long minute, she was finally able to tear her eyes away. Rebecca took in a shuddering breath and shoved it in the safe.


“You… you pick the code, okay? Don’t tell me what it is.”


Once back in the kitchen, Rebecca sank into a chair, her face resting in her hands. Lodged into the wall in front of her were the holes where the intravenous feeding tubes had been connected to the nutrient bags she had had automatically shipped to her apartment. Her eyes squeezed shut at the sight, pained. Why was she like this? Her beautiful meme deserved better than a broken addict. Even as she heard scuttling near her, she couldn’t bear to open her eyes, to see the reproach in her lover’s antennae.


She knew she shouldn’t have let Rebecca handle the system. She knew it would bring up bad memories, and yet she had let Rebecca do it anyways. Why? Just because it was taking so long to try and pull it up? She was truly an idiot. Finally finding the room Rebecca was in, a pang went through her as she saw the tears slowly leaking from her lover’s eyes. The little meme knew that if she attempted to talk right now, it might just make Rebecca feel worse, so she simply snuggled against her in her lap, trying to offer what comfort she could.