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Lost Soul

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The house was in complete darkness besides where the moon was shining through the window. I could see everything clearly still. From the couch, all the way to the small dining table that could hold the max of three people comfortable in the kitchen. That was one of the plus sides to whatever I was. I was different and all I knew was I wasn’t able to be around other people for fear of them noticing. My aunt always kept me inside the house except the times we would go hiking or spend the day in the forest.

My Aunt had a small two-bedroom cabin on the outskirts of Durango, Colorado. She works at a small diner only a mile and a half from the house and I wait up for her every night when she has to work the late shift which thankfully, was only a few times a month. She usually got off at eleven pm and would get home about twenty-five minutes later. She had to start walking about six weeks ago because her car broke down and we didn’t have enough money to fix it.

I know she did her best to take care of me and that she loved me, even though some nights I would go to bed hungry because we didn’t have enough money to pay for the house and for food. And for some unknown reason my aunt smelled even better on those nights. So, I did my best to stay in another room because I felt like I could hurt her.

It was ten thirty and I was pacing back in forth from the small kitchen to the living room which wasn’t very big. I wore a path in the carpet from my constant pacing the last few years, my aunt wasn’t very happy about it but she never really yelled at me. She knew I was nervous when I was left alone and the last six weeks I only gotten worse. I hated knowing she had to walk in the dark to get home. I know our town wasn’t huge but it was a tourist town in the summer and I always worried that something would happen to her.

I look back at the clock and only twenty minutes has past. I let out a quiet growl annoyed with how time somehow seems to go so slow when she was at work. Trying to distract myself I thought back on the story of my mother. I stop pacing and take out the picture of my mother that I always carry on me. She was beautiful. She had long black hair with soft curls and her smile was stunning. She had the biggest smile in that picture and it reached all the way up to her pretty green eyes. My aunt told me that the picture was taken only a few months before she became pregnant with me.

I remember my aunt telling me the story of my father. She never hid anything from me which I was thankful. She told me that my mom met my father one night and somehow, he seduced her into sleeping with him. From what my mother told my aunt was that he was not quite human. My Aunt didn’t believe her and was angry that she would let some strange man come and take her innocence away. But when my mom found out she was pregnant only days later and the pregnancy developed so fast she finally listened to mom’s story of this man.

My mom told her how this man was cold as ice and he looked like an angel. She said he was beautiful and his eyes were the color of blood. My aunt didn’t get much else from her because her body started to deteriorate so fast that she could barely talk. By the time she was only three and half months pregnant she was on the verge of dying. She couldn’t keep nothing down and somehow, I was killing her by taking all the nutrients from her body. She told me that my mom was never once angry and that I was a blessing and she loved me. She died a few days later when she made my aunt cut me out of her. My aunt went through six scalpels and two knives to cut through the placenta. My aunt took me and ran like my mom told her too and we ended up in this small town where nobody knew us and almost twelve years later we are still here.

I let out a heavy sigh and look back at the clock that hung on the wall. I start to panic when I see the time, it was almost midnight. “She’s never this late,” I say to the empty house and I can feel my worry increase. I stare out the front window hoping that maybe she was just running late and I would see her walking down our driveway. I stand there not moving for about another ten minutes before I finally head to the door. I know I’m not allowed to go outside but I couldn’t help myself, I was getting a bad feeling in my gut. So, I grab my sweater and throw it on as I head out the door.

I quietly run down our driveway and head into the town. I keep to the shadows in the alleyways so no one sees me. I take a deep inhale through my nose and get hit by a whole bunch of smells. It overloads me and I shake my head to clear it. I focus on what my aunt smells like, her smell reminds me of fresh baked cookies and focusing on that I take another deep inhale. It only takes me a minute to pinpoint her smell. I can faintly smell her scent but its mixed with something else and I freeze in my spot when I realize that it’s blood. Before I know what, I’m doing I’m running so damn fast that everything’s a blur. I can see a dark shape laying behind some trees only a few blocks from her work and I get there within seconds. I fall down to my knees when I see my aunt laying there.

I reach out to touch her and her hands are cold. I don’t hear a heartbeat and I feel my stomach drop, I let out a cry of pain and anger as I put my head in between my knees and take a few deep breaths as tears poor out of me. “Why?! What has she ever done, she didn’t deserve this!” I yell into the darkness. I hear a loud crackle in the sky as the wind picks up and the rain comes pouring down.

I still smell her blood and I get a whiff of a sickly-sweet smell mixed with mold as the wind blows the smell around and I scrunch my nose at the disgusting new smell. I finally look up and look her over to see how she died. I see a knife sticking out of her chest and I can see where she struggled to fight off her attacker. She has bruising to her knuckles and the scuffle around her shows she held her ground pretty well before they got the upper hand. I look around for her purse but see it nowhere. I watched the news plenty of times to know that attackers kill for them.

I stand up quickly when I hear commotion coming my way. I take one last look at my aunt and I can feel the tears streaming down my face with the rain. I knew this day would come sooner or later, I’ve been cursed from the moment I killed my own mom and everyone around me would suffer the consequences because of it. I take off running for the house knowing what I needed to do.

I make it back to the house in five minutes and I run through the door. I go straight for my backpack and throw my clothes in it along with a few pictures. I move to my aunt’s room and rip up the floorboard that has the emergency kit under it. It was meant for me in case something like this was to happen. She made it very clear that if she died some way that I needed to pack my stuff and run. She told me I couldn’t be seen because if people found out I was different they could hurt me. The plan was for me to go into the forest and live until I could find somebody I trusted. She taught me everything she knew about the forest and how to survive.

I took one last look at the place I called home for the past eleven and half years and walked out the back door into the rain heading towards the mountains where I knew nobody would be. I needed time to grieve and figure out what in the hell I was supposed to do.