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Les Misérables - Fanfiction Style!

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Here's a handy karaoke video in case you want to sing along :)

One Day More, or, The Update Song
Sung to the tune of "One Day More"

VALJEAN:
One day more!
Another day, another author here
Whose story makes us laugh or shed a tear;
These crazy fans who write my fate
And then take ages to update!
One day more…

MARIUS:
I did not live until this fic!
How can I live with such a cliffie?

VALJEAN:
One day more!

(COSETTE joins in with MARIUS.)

MARIUS/COSETTE:
Oh, I will hit you with the Brick
If you don't update in a jiffy!

ÉPONINE:
One more day and I'll combust!

MARIUS/COSETTE:
Will she ever write again?

ÉPONINE:
One more day, with fans despairing!

MARIUS/COSETTE:
I was born to read this through!

ÉPONINE:
All this waiting is unjust!

MARIUS/COSETTE:
And I swear I will be true!

ÉPONINE:
Updates never will be there!

ENJOLRAS:
One more day before we swarm!

MARIUS:
Do I bug her till she writes?

ENJOLRAS:
We'll build barricades for updates!

MARIUS:
Shall I join the readers there?

ENJOLRAS:
When our ranks begin to form…

MARIUS:
(about the story) What will happen to Combeferre?

ENJOLRAS:
…will you take your place with me?

ALL:
The time is now, the day is here!

VALJEAN:
One day more!

JAVERT: One day more until you update-
Well, I guess it could be two.
If it doesn't come quite soon, though,
We'll sic Enjolras on you!

VALJEAN:
One day more!

THÉNARDIERS:
Readers run amok;
Watch ʼem leave reviews
Calling you a schmuck
When you have lost your muse.
Here a word or two;
There a chapter done!
All of you are crazy,
Reading this for fun!

STUDENTS GROUP 1:
One day to continuation!

STUDENTS GROUP 2:
Raise the flag of fanfic high!

STUDENTS GROUP 1:
If the author writes at speed!

STUDENTS GROUP 2:
If the author writes at speed!

STUDENTS GROUP 1:
There's a chapter in creation!

STUDENTS GROUP 2:
There's a chapter in the works!

ALL:
Do you see the Mizzies read?

MARIUS:
The chapter's here; I will review!

VALJEAN:
One day more!

MARIUS/COSETTE:
I did not live until this fic!

JAVERT:
I will join these crazy readers…

ÉPONINE:
One more day and I'll combust!

JAVERT:
Fill the inbox with reviews…

MARIUS/COSETTE:
How can I live with such a cliffie?

JAVERT:
Threaten slow-to-update authors
With a large and painful bruise!

VALJEAN:
One day more!

MARIUS/COSETTE:
Oh, I will hit you with the Brick…

THÉNARDIERS:
Readers run amok…

JAVERT:
One day more until you update—

ÉPONINE:
All this waiting is unjust!

THÉNARDIERS:
Watch ʼem leave reviews…

JAVERT:
Well, I guess it could be two.

MARIUS/COSETTE:
If you don't update in a jiffy!

THÉNARDIERS:
Calling you a schmuck
When you have lost your muse!

JAVERT:
If it doesn't come quite soon, though…

VALJEAN:
Tomorrow must come soon, I say!
Tomorrow is the update day!

ALL:
Tomorrow we'll discover what our clever author has in store!
One more dawn!
One more day!
One day more!

(Song ends with people in triangular formation; GAVROCHE is up on somebody's shoulders, waving a laptop triumphantly above his head.)

Chapter Text

Here's a handy karaoke video in case you want to sing along :)

Disclaimer
Sung to the tune of "On My Own"

And now I'm all but broke again—
I've got no job but school to go to—
Without a dollar to my name;
Fast food's the tree on which my dough grew,
So honestly I say: A lawsuit simply wouldn't pay.

Sometimes I write alone at night
When everybody else is sleeping.
And, with the characters,
I'm happy with the company I'm keeping.
And, though they stick with me,
Still I disclaim them, as you'll see.

I don't own the characters beside me,
So I groan disclaimers out while mourning.
Without them, the lawyers would surround me;
I'd try to hide, I'd open wide my eyes, and they'd have found me.

In the fic, the things I use, I borrow.
Les Amis aren't mine, much to my sorrow,
And I ponder on temporary book rights:
Could authors lease one little piece to me, just for tomorrow?

And I know it's only in my mind;
That these privileges are ones I cannot claim.
And although I know I will be fined,
Still I say I can't pay for this!

I disclaim, for, when the night is over,
Rights are gone, and I am not in clover.
Without them, the world around me changes:
The trees are bare, and everywhere the streets are full of strangers.

I disclaim, since, every day, I'm finding,
All my life, I've only been pretending.
Without me, the contracts still are binding;
The joy of owning rights is one that I have never known!

I disclaim . . .
I disclaim . . .
I disclaim each thing that I don't own.

Chapter Text

Here's a handy karaoke video in case you want to sing along! :)

Get it Right
Sung to the tune of "Bring Him Home"

Authors all, hear my plea:
In my need, do this one thing for me.
Though you're young, you can still
Write things well; learn to spell!
Get it right. Get it right. Get it right!

It's like the grammar I have known
Has been forgotten; it's absurd.
And spelling dies, word by word!
It hurts my eyes! I have cried
When typos made are just let slide.

Use the spell checker, too.
You are young; here's a beta for you.
Time is all that it takes!
Please, just fix your mistakes!
If I read, let me read
Fics done well.
Get it right.
Get it right.
Get it right!

Chapter Text

Here's a handy karaoke video in case you want to sing along! :)

I Wrote a Fic
Sung to the tune of "I Dreamed a Dream"

There was a time when fans were kind,
When their comments were soft, and their praise delighted.
There was a time when I would find
That an unread review always got me excited.
There was a time…
Then it all went wrong…

I wrote a fic in time gone by
With characters who still were living.
I wrote that none of them would die.
I thought that fans would be forgiving.

Then I was young and unafraid;
Ideas were made and used and cherished.
There were no protests ever made
For plots whose novelty had perished.

But the flamers come at night
With complaints that sound quite hollow,
As they tear your fic apart,
As they turn you dream to shame!

I wrote of Éponine's romance;
She loved a golden-haired Apollo.
He wouldn't give their love a chance,
But he was hers when autumn came!

And still I think, when it's just me,
That they would do quite well together,
But there are fics not meant to be,
Or else I'll suffer fans' displeasure.

I wrote a fic that made me squee,
A masterpiece of E/É pairing!
But all the flamers got my goat.
Now flames have killed the fic I wrote.