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King Merlin of Essetir

Summary:

One day the kingdom of Camelot receives a message that Cenred, the King of Essetir, died of an illness. The king and his son decide to invite the new king to Camelot, not knowing that it wouldn't be Cenred's son Mordred, but his secret, and gorgeous, husband Merlin instead, who Arthur almost instantly falls in love with.
Merlin however, held quite a few secrets which were yet to be uncovered, regarding his marriage with Cenred, his mental stability, his magical abilities and whole of Essetir.

Notes:

Hello!
Welcome to my new fanfiction! Yes, another Merthur one. I can't ever get enough of them. I don't know yet how long the story will be, but I hope you enjoy it anyways! I do love the concept of Merlin being King, by the way.
Have fun reading and I hope you'll like it!

Kudos and comments would be greatly apprecciated!
- Saturning

Chapter Text

“Yes, father? Why have you summoned me?”, Arthur asked as soon as he entered the hall.

Uther put down the roll of parchment he had been holding and looked at his son with some kind of expression, Arthur couldn’t really identify.

“Cenred, the King of Essetir recently died”, the King told calmly. There wasn’t a trace of bitterness in his voice, Uther certainly wasn’t sad about it, but he lowered his tone appropriately, after all they were talking about the death of a king.

“I thought Cenred wasn’t that old? Did he fall in battle?”, the blonde approached the table the king sat at and leaned on one of the great chairs, eyeing his father curiously.

“No, he died of some sort of bad incurable illness. However that is not the main point. They have a new king now, I assume it’s his son Mordred, as that is not talked about clearly I can only assume it, and I think we should invite him to Camelot. Maybe we can agree on some sort of peace treaty, establish new boundaries and more. We should try our best to prevent any future battles with Essetir, as they proved themselves as strong and powerful enemies, it would certainly be better for Camelot to have them as an ally instead.”

“Yes, that does sound like an intelligent plan. So you want to have him stay for some time at our court, so we can prove ourselves as loyal allies as well?”, he asked inquisitively.

“Exactly. I thought about maybe two weeks. That gives us enough time to discuss several points with him and prove ourselves and Camelot as powerful and loyal. I wanted to ask for your opinion before I send the letter.”

Surprised Arthur nodded along. His father does not often ask for his opinion on things, certainly not if it’s regarding such a great matter.

“You have my approval. But may I ask what made you ask for my opinion in the first place?”

“Regarding Cenred’s sudden death I figured, we can’t know if something similar could happen to me in the future and I would rather have you prepared to be king anytime, Arthur. I want you to be ready to lead this kingdom.”

“I appreciate your concern and I am delighted and excited that you want me to be involved more, but it’s still ridiculous, you are at best-”

“Best health, I know. Of course, but we can never be certain. Just accept my decision.”

“Of course, Sire.”

“That’s it already. We will expect him to be here in about one and a half week, if he chooses to accept our invitation, that is. You’re dismissed.”

Arthur bowed his head respectfully and then proceeded to leave the hall, making his way to the courtyard where the knights already awaited him.

 

Uther should be proven right, as exactly one and a half week later, Arthur found himself standing on the courtyard, dressed up in his royal princely clothes next to his father, waiting for the new King of Essetir to arrive. He would be lying, if he would deny being excited at all. Indeed he was very interested in the new king, given that he knew the man could only be around his age. Maybe the point that Arthur found out rather recently that he was, in fact, into men, added on to his excitement.

Not even ten minutes later the distant sound of hooves patter on stone started to approach quicker until two men on horses were in sight, slowing rapidly down as they caught sight of the courtyard as well. Eventually they came to a halt in the middle of the yard and Arthur was surprised to find out no one else was riding behind them. It appeared that these two men travelled all by themselves, no servants or guards whatsoever, though one did look like a knight, a handsome knight, one might add. However, Arthur’s gaze wasn’t fixed on the knight, but more on the indeed gorgeous new King of Essetir. He wore the for Essetir usual dark clothes and just a simple silver crown with small blue stones in it on top of his messy coal black hair. His blue eyes stood in perfect harmony with his dark robes and though he appeared to be rather skinny and lanky, he radiated some sort of power and confidence, something Arthur only witnessed few times in his life. He was graceful. Even jumping off his horse looked elegant and the prince almost forgot how to breathe, as the king started walking towards them, the knight at his side. His first thought was oh god he’s coming over to me, before he remembered that he was, in fact, the crown prince and the king of Camelot stood right next to him. Of course the king of Essetir would walk over to them.

“Good afternoon, Sire. I am very pleased to meet you”, he said, respectfully bowing his head in front of Uther and shaking his hand politely, as soon as he reached their stand.

“Welcome to Camelot, my Lord. If I may introduce myself, just in case, I am Uther Pendragon, King of Camelot and this is my son, the crown prince of Camelot, Arthur.” Uther waved his hand at the blonde, whose heart literally stopped for a few seconds as the king turned to look at him, a beaming smile on his lips.

“Very pleased to finally meet you, as well. I have heard a lot about the Pendragon’s and Camelot.”

The man shook Arthur’s hand as well, though Arthur only smiled cheerfully, as he couldn’t trust himself to speak quite yet.

“Needless to say, the kingdom is as beautiful as foretold.”

“I am glad you see it as such, King Mordred.”

“Oh! I am incredibly sorry, I should have known and introduced myself as well”, the king suddenly spoke, and if Arthur could really trust his eyes, a faint blush appeared on his cheeks.

“I am Merlin, King of Essetir.”

“What? We didn’t know Cenred had a second son. What happened to Mordred?”, Uther asked, trying to hide is confusion, though he didn’t succeed.

“That’s because he doesn’t. I am no son of Cenred’s, I am his former husband, a widower, if you want to call it such.”

Once again Arthur felt his heart stopping in his chest and then proceeding to beat at the speed of light. The king was gay?

“How’s that possible? Surely, we would have known of Cenred having a husband!” Uther appeared to be getting impatient, though Merlin wasn’t shocked nor intimidated by it, not even a little surprised. It was as if he had known the King would ask questions similar to these.

“Cenred liked to keep his private life, well, private. That included me. We have been married for seven years, but he kept it secret for anyone outside Essetir, successfully as it seems.”

“Excuse my importunity, my lord, but that is rather hard to believe. How can we assure that you are in fact Cenred’s former husband?”

“Are you suggesting my King is lying to you about his ancestry?”, the knight chimed in, hand already on his sword. Merlin quickly shook his head.

“I’m sorry, don’t listen to Gwaine. He’s my head knight and just very protective. Anyway, if you wish, I will give you all the information you need of me. Surely you have someone who can work out my ancestry?”

“Yes, yes, of course we do”, Uther nodded and signed to one of the servants, who quickly approached the king.

“Get Geoffrey from the library to check if Cenred married a man named Merlin seven years ago. And do it quick”, he ordered through gritted teeth. The servant simply nodded and rushed off into the castle.

Arthur curiously watched how relaxed the former King seemed to be, for that he was questioned by another King. Shouldn’t it upset him in some way?

Uther turned back to Merlin at last, a polite but fake smile decorating his face once more.

“I am truly sorry for the inconvenience, as for I have no reason yet to doubt you, my lord. You are very welcomed in Camelot. Surely, you are exhausted from the ride, Arthur will show you your chambers and we will have servants ready for your orders anytime, so you will have everything you need. I am looking forward to dine with you this evening”, Uther declared, still clearly suspicious of Merlin, who did not choose to act on that.

“Thank you very much for your kindness, Sire. I will see you at dinner then. Shall we?” He looked at Arthur again with those kind blue eyes, causing his knees to feel weak.

“Yes, of course”, the prince managed to say, surprisingly confident, whilst already turning around to lead the king and his knight into the castle.

Chapter 2

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

“So, these are your chambers, my lord. If you need anything, the servants will be willing to help you with anything and my chambers are just down the next corridor as well. We hope to make your stay as pleasant as possible, so please don’t hesitate to talk to the servants, knights, or me in that matter if anything is bothering you”, Arthur told formerly, a beaming smile on his lips nonetheless.

“Thank you very much, I hope to not be a burden on any of you and I bet my stay will be fantastic. Besides, as long as I know Gwaine is not kept far away from me, I’m in good hands. But I do have one request. Please, would you call me Merlin? I am no fan of this whole ‘my lord’ and ‘sire’ stuff, though I know to keep it up when I’m with the king. He values correct titles, doesn’t he?”

Arthur stared at him blankly for a second, until he remembered how to talk properly.

“Ah, yes, of course he does. But I’ll gladly set them aside, so please just call me Arthur as well.”

“Nice name, I always liked it. We had an Arthur at our court in Essetir once.” Merlin’s eyes appeared to glow out of excitement, as they still stood at the door to his chambers.

“Really?”, Arthur asked sincerely interested in everything Merlin was willing to tell him, even if it was only about the stray cats of Essetir. Really, he would listen to anything that escaped those beautiful full lips. Oh the things he’d give to hear him moan say his name more often.

“Regarding that you said ‘once’ I assume he’s not there anymore?”

Promptly the glowing expression faded from the King’s face and a dark and sad shadow replaced it. Arthur instantly felt bad about asking the question, he should have known it wouldn’t end well.

“No, he is dead. Fallen in a mission under Cenred’s control”, Merlin told through gritted teeth, gaze dropped to the floor. It was then that Arthur first questioned the backgrounds of the royal marriage. Could a man talk about his recently deceased husband that bitterly, if he had loved him? He had just opened his mouth as the man shook his head, seemingly banishing the thoughts from his head and changing the topic.

“Anyway, can I ask you something?”

“Of course, my l- Merlin.”

“Did I make a fool out of myself today? I was really trying to be as intimidating as I could manage to impress your father. It would be a great shame if this possible alliance would fail, because I cannot keep myself together.”

Arthur laughed sincere.

“Don’t worry! I mean, you weren’t intimidating, that was more Gwaine’s part, but you did establish your power very well, father was impressed, I can tell.”

A relieved sigh passed the other man’s lips and he visibly relaxed, a beaming smile on his face again to Arthur’s delight.

“You won’t believe how glad I am to hear that. After all Cenred told me a lot about the stubborn and hard to impress King Uther of Camelot. I feared he would view me as weak the second I got off my horse.”

“You looked graceful rather than weak.”

“Graceful, huh? That’s new. Usually I’m pretty much the opposite. Cenred used to tell me that quite often.” Again Arthur noticed the slight change in expression as Merlin mentioned the name of his former husband. Something in the way that the boy lowered his voice whenever he talked about him, eyes dropping to the floor, made Arthur just a bit uncomfortable. As if something was deeply wrong, but he couldn’t grasp it, couldn’t pin it down.

“I’m sure he didn’t mean it. I think you’re very elegant.”

“Not for long, I’m afraid, but that’s okay. Being elegant is just not part of my being.” Merlin laughed charmingly and eventually turned to the chamber doors.

“Well, I suppose I shouldn’t keep you trapped with me any longer, you probably have very princely duties to fulfil. We are seeing each other at dinner?” Arthur’s heart sank a little, as he wished to continue this talk for an eternity, but Merlin was right, he did have knight’s training in a few minutes and Uther wouldn’t particularly be filled with glee if Arthur missed his everyday duties, because of their new guest. Quickly he overplayed his sadness with a lovely smile and nodded.

“That’s right, I’ll see you then, Merlin.”

Merlin replied by simply nodding, then proceeded to enter his chambers. Arthur turned and walked away, just hearing the quiet sound of the doors being closed as he finds his way out of the castle and to the armoury in order to get ready for training.

 

 

Merlin happily fell onto the soft bed in his extraordinary nice chambers. Of course they gave it to him, after all he is a foreign king which they wish to form an alliance with. Though Merlin still couldn’t quite get used to the new term. King. He’s been called consort, advisor, right hand or the king’s husband all the time and now he was actually king. King of Essetir. And he was about to form an alliance with the oh so powerful kingdom Camelot, although there are still a few obstacles in their way. After all, Uther did seem to not quite believe Merlin yet to be actually Cenred’s former husband and legal King of Essetir. Plus merely the fact that he was gay, probably wasn’t to Uther’s likings. That his son, the prince Arthur Pendragon, seemed to be of divine beauty wasn’t helping Merlin’s situation either. He couldn’t allow himself to get too invested with the prince. Not yet at least, as he was just made king. He needed to prove that he was a powerful, fair and prominently good king on his own, most of all to himself. A knock eventually disturbed the king’s thoughts. Merlin wasn’t even given the time to reply, as the door was opened and Gwaine strutted in as if the place belonged to him. Merlin smiled amused.

“Ever so polite, right?”, he asked grinning, pushing himself in an upright position. Gwaine just smirked and closed the door behind him.

“So what’s your first impression, Merls? Think you can and want to form an alliance with Camelot?”, the knight questioned, whilst falling into one of the great wooden chairs at the small table just across the bed on which Merlin sat, a half – eaten apple in one hand.

“Well, I think Uther Pendragon does not trust me yet, he thinks I’m a fraud. He just acts like he respects me, in case he is proven wrong. I mean, if you take into account what he firmly believes in, he’s right not to trust me. After all, magic is still illegal in Camelot. Anyway, I believe that his son thinks otherwise. He seems to believe me.”

“He also appears to have stared at you for quite the amount of time”, Gwaine added with a sly grin. Merlin rolled his eyes.

“So what? I am a foreign king, that can be very interesting. I was also not the one they expected to meet.”

“It was not very heterosexual.”

“Oh stop talking like a match maker. I am not here to search for a new relationship, Gwaine, my literal husband died just a month ago.” Promptly the knight’s gleeful expression fell and it was replaced by concern and sadness. Merlin couldn’t stand that expression, so he turned to look at the nice wooden furniture instead.

“Stop talking about him like that, Merlin. No one else is here to hear. You and I both know that he doesn’t deserve to be called your husband, or former husband, that is. You deserve to be happy with someone else.”

“However”, Merlin interjected, ignoring every worry his friend showed. “This is still not the time to be searching for a new boyfriend. I’m here, because of political reasons. It’s my first big thing to do as the new King of Essetir and I can’t screw this up. The people need to know that I am a good king on my own.”

“You mean Camelot needs to know. Essetir does already. They’ve seen you as their king from the day of your marriage, maybe even earlier. I certainly saw you as a king already when Cenred was crowned. That Essetir did not yet fall is alone your doing, Merlin. It’s wealthy and powerful, because of you.”

Merlin laughed warmly.

“Wise words from a drunk.”

“Rude words from a king.”

“Thanks, Gwaine.”

The knight smiled cheerfully and proceeded to take a great bite of his apple.

“Any time, Merls. So any plans what we are going to do until dinner?”, he elegantly changed the topic with a curious grin.

“I know that Camelot’s knights are training right now. You could pay them a visit, see how good they are, maybe train a little yourself”, Merlin suggested.

“Sounds like a plan. Let’s see if they can beat me!” Excitedly the man jumped up and jogged towards the door, though hesitated as he reached it.

“You coming?”, he asked, carefully eyeing the king and best friend.

“Maybe a bit later, I’m a little exhausted from the trip and need to prepare myself mentally to talk to Uther again tonight.”

Another laugh left the bearded man and then he was gone out of the door. Merlin smiled as he watched the door close again and walked towards the window, through which he had a nice view over the courtyard and most of Camelot. Just a minute later he was able to watch Gwaine run out of the castle and over the courtyard, maybe a little too excited, and heading towards the training field, which Merlin could faintly make out behind some houses. Another knock pulled him out of his thoughts once more, though this time the person on the other side of the door waited for an answer and didn’t barge in right away.

“Yes, come in”, Merlin called, lifting his gaze from the view outside his window to see the polite intruder. In came a beautiful young woman with brown skin, curly hair and kind eyes. She was carrying blankets and beamed at the king, as soon as she caught side of him.

“I was sent to bring you extra blankets, my lord”, she told, whilst putting them down on the edge of the bed. “It’s going to be a cold knight and we don’t want you to get sick, your majesty.”

“That is very kind and considerate! Thank you for bringing these, what was your name again?” Merlin curiously watched the woman, who appeared slightly surprised, surely she didn’t expect the king to ask for a servant’s name, as he stepped away from the window.

“I’m Guinevere, my lord, but Gwen is alright.”

“A wonderful name, Gwen, so who do I have to thank for sending you?”, Merlin continued to ask, a lovely smile on his lips. Gwen smiled a bit wider.

“The Lady Morgana. I am her servant, she is the king’s ward.”

An odd kind of recognition went through Merlin’s head as he heard the name, sending a slight shiver down his spine.

“Morgana, you said? I think I’ve heard that name somewhere before. Do you know by chance if she ever travelled to Essetir? Perhaps to meet Cenred?” Gwen shook her head in confusion, smiling nonetheless.

“No, I think she did not, but you can ask her tonight at dinner, if you wish. She’s going to attend.”

“No, I think I’d rather ask her in private first. Do you think she’d be okay with meeting me alone in my or her chambers?”

“I will ask her right away, my Lord. If you want, you can follow me now, because I’m fairly certain she would love to meet you right away.” Merlin laughed warmly and nodded,

“Great! Oh and, please, call me Merlin. I’m not a huge fan of these formal titles.”

Gwen smiled once more, even more sincere and kind now with happy eyes.

“Very well, Merlin. Then follow me to the Lady’s chambers?”

“Right behind you, my lady.” A laugh from the servant and out of the door they were.

As they were roaming through the hallways, Merlin without his crown not much recognised, Gwen seemed to relax in his presence.

“That may sound weird, considering I just met you like five minutes ago, but I couldn’t help but notice how down to earth you are. I have seen only one unfamiliar knight so far and no foreign servants crossed my way, so did you just not bring any, or are they behind or what?”, she asked, her curious gaze eyeing him intently. Merlin laughed at that.

“I do get that a lot, even in Essetir. I do not like having servants for my own. I like doing things myself, though of course sometimes servants are needed but I do not like to think of them as personal property. They are part of the castles staff like in every other tavern. I only ever need Gwaine to accompany me on these journeys. He’s also the foreign knight you have seen, I guess.”

“Well, Morgana is a very considerate mistress and over all a lovely woman. She is my friend so I do not care if I am to help her everyday with whatever she may need.”

“Oh yes of course! I didn’t mean that I think having servants is slavery or something like that, god forbid! I just meant that I’d feel useless if someone had to help me with everything, but for others that might be no problem at all. Though it does make me a little uncomfortable to see how the king treats his servants. I’d be at least a little thankful or polite? He doesn’t have those kinds of character treats, does he?” A vicious laugh escaped the woman’s throat and she shook her head dramatically.

“Uther was never one for kind words, but it’s fine, we are used to it. It’s nothing unusual.”

“Yeah, Cenred tended to be like that, as well. I’ve always hated it, but he didn’t listen to me, no matter how often I reminded him of the servant’s names, or the fact that they had names in the first place.”

Gwen didn’t respond to that, as they finally reached the door to the Lady Morgana’s bedchambers, which was probably for the best. The servant motioned something resembling ‘wait here’ in Merlin’s direction and cautiously entered the room. Merlin did as he was told and waited outside the door, observing the hallway and the guards, the windows and the view, the candles and the torches. He waited good five minutes until the door was opened once more and Gwen bid him in with a beaming smile.

Notes:

I finally came around to finish the second chapter lmao sorry that it took so incredibly long! Hope you enjoy it anyway though, I tried my very best!

Please consider leaving Kudos or a Comment (they really make my life better and my whole week so much sweeter)!
- Saturning

Chapter 3

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

“So you are who they now call Merlin the King of Essetir?”

Merlin felt his magic tingle under his skin as Morgana spoke for the first time. Indeed, she was incredibly beautiful, even her voice, but that wasn’t the cause of Merlin’s magic acting up.

“I am and you are the Lady Morgana? I can’t say I have heard a lot about you, but certainly you look like a princess.”

For the first time, the Lady turned around on the chair she sat on and instantly fell silent, as she caught sight of Merlin, her smile vanished. She didn’t recognize him, no, that’s not what stood in her eyes, it was surprise and amazement, maybe also a hint of fear. Quickly she went up to him, now eye to eye she looked at the king closely.

“What do you want from me?”, she breathed almost silently. “Surely you’re not here to ask for my hand or to admire me. Servants are quick to talk and I know you have no interest in women, so what led you to me of all people?”

“Well, first of all, I wanted to say thank you for kindly sending your servant with extra blankets to me, that’s very considerate.”

“And second of all?” Merlin chuckled. As expected Morgana was a smart lady, who wouldn’t be fooled, but what else could you expect from a sorceress with powers like hers?

“I have come to realize that your name seemed to be a weird kind of familiar and I now understand why that is.”

In a split of a second, Morgana backed off, now clearly showing fear in every part of her face and body.

“Sorry, that may have been the wrong way to start this topic, wasn’t it?”, Merlin spoke apologetically. “I didn’t intend to scare you, I just meant to tell, that I know and that it’s fine, but I’m sure you sensed that already?”

Carefully, she lowered her arms, which she had raised defensively before, but kept a safe distance from the king nonetheless.

“So I haven’t been mistaken? You, the actual King of Essetir, are a sorcerer?”, she asked in shock.

Merlin nodded contently.

“Just like you”, he added. A loud shattering sound broke the static atmosphere and caused both Merlin and Morgana to whirl around, just to see Guinevere standing there, mouth covered with her hands and the vase she held now lay broken to her feet.

“Gwen! Shit, I forgot you were still here, hey, what you just heard that- that was-”, Morgana stuttered helplessly, the fear had returned to her very soul.

“The undeniable truth”, Merlin finished calmly.

“No!”, Morgana denied, but her desperate voice gave it away. “I mean- yes, but I couldn’t help it, I- Oh Gwen, please don’t tell Uther.” Now tears rushed down the Lady’s cheeks and she sobbed uncontrollably. Merlin felt bad for her, knowing how hard it must have been, finding out you possess magic in a land that only ever shows its hatred against it. He knew what it felt like to wish for being normal, for the magic to go away, leaving no trace, but soon enough he learned to use it with pride and Morgana would, too, he was sure.

Gwen eventually broke from her frozen position and hurried to her mistresses side, embracing her dearly, as she sobbed.

“My Lady, please stop crying. It’s okay, really, I would never tell Uther. It’s not your fault and it’s not a shame, either”, she told her friend with extraordinary calm laying in her voice, whilst soothingly stroking her hair.

“For a servant that grew up in Camelot, you are surprisingly calm and positive towards magic”, Merlin noted, brows raised.

“I like to think that people should not be condemned for who they are and what they can do. Neither do we arrest people that possess any kind of weaponry, though it can be used to harm the people just as magic can, do we?”

Merlin felt warmth spreading in his chest. When there was one who thought of magic like this, there could be more. Magic was not yet lost in Camelot.

“I must say, I adore you, Guinevere. You have more honour than most people I know.” Gwen couldn’t suppress a proud smile.

“Thank you, Merlin. But may I ask, how you intend to form a bond with Camelot? If Uther found out, it could mean war, maybe he’d kill you on sight.” A worried undertone lay in the servant’s voice and made her merely more lovable. She cared for him as if they’d been friends for decades already, besides knowing him for less than a day.

“He wouldn’t dare kill me and he wouldn’t succeed either. I hold much more power than he can imagine and if he wants to start a war… he will loose. But surely we can sort this out without getting brutal.”

“Still, you want to form an alliance with a kingdom that fuels his rage for your kind with every time they kill one of you?” Merlin smiled to himself. When she said it like that, it did sound a bit ridiculous.

“No, I do not. I plan to reveal myself to Camelot and make them see sense. I will only form an alliance if magic is legalized. There’s only things to gain. Power, lots of power actually, an alliance and content citizens. In Essetir magic is legalized and our people couldn’t be much happier and peaceful.”

Morgana, who had stopped crying eventually, raised an eyebrow at that.

“I’ve heard that Essetir had gone to war more times than they can count in the last few years.”

“Maybe so, but we won each one of them and our people have never suffered from it. Though I do confess, the wars have been mostly unnecessary and I hated them. Cenred didn’t make a lot of wise choices”, Merlin shot right back. Needless to say, he had been no fan of Cenred’s way of being king and making great and mostly rash decision which would affect the land greatly. It was true, they always won but that was not due to Cenred or his strategies. It always came down to Merlin. Their people may have not suffered a lot or lost land, but surely a lot of soldiers died, good men who had family and friends. How many nights Merlin had lost in thought about the lifeless bodies, soaked with blood and eyes wide open, and the mourning cries from their loved ones. He hated every second of any war they participated in, necessary or not, which was why Merlin now tried everything to gain alliances instead of enemies. Maybe he wouldn’t need to go to war, though he was prepared to. If Camelot declared the war on magic once more and decided Essetir was too full of it, they’d get war. And they’d loose, like every other kingdom had. But there was hope. Hope for a time with no wars. No battles. No fights to the death.

Slowly Gwen nodded, nervously kneading her hands.

“We can only hope that what you say is true. I wouldn’t like to see a new beloved king being killed in the heart of Camelot, when the actual goal had been to form a bond. Essetir shouldn’t loose another king in such a short amount of time”, she told, biting down on her lower lip.

“I assure you, she won’t. I’m strong and I will make Uther see. I will do anything to prevent a war and death.”

“I certainly believe you and if I can be of any help-”, Morgana started but Merlin cut her off.

“I won’t pull you into this, my Lady. It’s dangerous enough already. I don’t know how Uther will react and I can’t have you get in danger because of me. I know that I can protect myself if it comes down to the worst, but you never had the chance to practice your magic and learn to control it, I fear that you would be much more helpless.”

“I’m not helpless!”

“I know you aren’t, that’s not what I meant, but your magic is. If Uther decides to kill you, he’ll succeed.”

“Then teach me! Please, I have never met another sorcerer so skilled and powerful and I don’t want to be helpless or weak! Merlin, I want to be proud and I want to be skilled, but how can I achieve that on my own in a land filled with hatred against my very being?” Morgana had grabbed his arm and looked at him with big desperate eyes, begging for his help, for his knowledge. How could Merlin turn her down? She was just a girl with no way to learn how to control the power that was woven in the fibre of her very being. She didn’t have the privilege to grow up in a land that accepted magic, surrounded by other sorcerers who could help her grow stronger, like Merlin had. She couldn’t practice as she liked. A fond smile now decorated the king’s face.

“You remind me of myself, Morgana. So determined and a lot of willpower. You’ll be a strong sorceress and with my help, we can push the boundaries.” Her eyes widened and within a second she embraced the foreign king, which she had met merely minutes ago.

“Thank you so much, Merlin! I will not forget your kindness, I promise! And when the time comes, I will repay you and stand by your side in the fight for magic.”

“That’s great to hear. We can get started tomorrow if you wish? Dinner is in only one hour and I promised to follow Gwaine to the knight’s training, so I don’t have time at the moment.”

A great smile on her lips Morgana nodded, excitement striking through every part of his body, while Gwen watched, smiling as well.

“Is Gwaine a knight of yours?”, Morgana asked curious.

“Yes, he’s my head knight and best friend.”

“Would it bother you if I accompanied you at the trainings field? I like watching foreign knights fight, their techniques amaze me.” Merlin laughed heartily.

“Oh, then you’ll just love to watch Gwaine. He can really be.. something else. But that makes him so good! Gwen, you wanna come, too?” Guinevere hesitated for a second, her eyes darting between Merlin and Morgana, but in the end she agreed, saying that she promised to watch Lancelot fight sometime as well. Morgana cheered gleefully and almost ran out of the room in excitement, Merlin and Gwen following her closely.

Notes:

Surprise! Another update so soon! But don't get too used to it, I'm not sure I can keep this speed up, haha.
I hope you enjoyed this chaper, I certainly enjoyed writing it! Good and wholesome Morgana is and will always be my favourite.
Excited for what comes next?

If you enjoyed please consider leaving Kudos and a comment!! They really make me incredibly happy for the whole day, if not longer!
Thank you for reading and keeping up!
- Saturning

Chapter 4

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Merlin found himself having a hard time following the slim Lady that was Morgana around the castle, as she was almost running with glee.

“Does nothing happen in Camelot usually or why is she running so fast?”, he asked the Lady’s maid Gwen, who stifled her laugh with her hand. 

“That and if there’s something happening it’s often bad. But probably anything compared to you showing up would appear bad for her right now”, Gwen suddenly lowered her voice, her eyes seemingly sad. “I don’t even want to imagine the fear she’s lived in until now.”

Merlin sighed wistfully. “It’s a curse and a blessing alike.”

“I believe so. It must have been bad for you when you grew up as well, right?” The maid watched him with such an honest gaze, Merlin didn’t dare lie to her. So instead he just smiled and gave a rather mysterious answer.

“Yes, but not in the way you believe it has.”

“Oh, then in what way exactly has it been difficult?”, she continued asking to Merlin’s dismay.

“I appreciate your concern Gwen and your curiosity is adorable, but maybe some other time. It is not entirely safe to talk about it here, much less do I want just any guard to hear and take it to Uther straight away. It would ruin the whole surprise!” It wasn’t a lie, but maybe it wasn’t the full truth either. Merlin could really think of something better to talk about than his childhood traumas. Or the other traumas, in that case, too. Gwen eyed him for another moment, but then nodded approvingly.

“You’re right, sorry. This is certainly no place to talk about... that topic.”

She offered him a warming smile and Merlin suddenly felt sorry for his intentions to never get back to her on that topic, she really occurred to be trustworthy and understanding. Maybe one day. 

When they finally reached the courtyard, the sound of swords smashing against each other, clattering armour and rumbling voices filled the air. Those were undeniably the sounds of knights’ training happening and if Merlin wasn’t mistaken, he could faintly make out Gwaine’s laughter. Soon enough he and Gwen arrived next to Morgana who already watched the fights expectantly. Apparently they came just in time, Gwaine already picked up his sword and smiled mischievously at his contestant, who was no one less than Prince Arthur himself. 

“Well this is about to get interesting”, Merlin commented just loud enough to not disturb the static atmosphere between the fighters, but for the Lady’s to hear.

“Oh it is! Isn’t it?”, Morgana whispered, just barely containing her excitement. 

And so the astonishing fight began and kept going and kept going and kept going until finally Arthur managed to disarm Gwaine and threaten him with the blade pointed at his throat, though obviously he didn’t go any further. 

“You’re a good fighter, I’ll give you that”, the prince commented with a sly grin, as he lowered his sword.

“Thanks, you’re not bad yourself, but what did I expect from the prince of Camelot?”, Gwaine retorted, but laughed right away. Eventually his gaze fell on his king, whom he did not notice earlier - too focused on the fight - and his face lit up once more.

“Merlin! You made it, how lucky. Of course just in god damn time to see me lose this one match”, he said, maybe a little frustrated.

“Obviously, I’ve always had the best timing, you know that. And besides, considering all the stories I heard about the glorious fighting skills the prince of Camelot owns, you should be proud. Right?” For a second he met Arthur’s gaze. Did Merlin imagine it or did the prince actually look flustered?

“Absolutely, that was incredible! I rarely see someone who can fight prince Arthur for that long. You’re excellent!”, Morgana exclaimed. She was visibly thrilled and Gwaine did look proud to hear words like these from such a beautiful young woman.

“Why thank you, my Lady”, he responded overly polite. “I feel like it is my responsibility to be strong enough to protect my king, especially, because he is an idiot and refuses to take more than one Knight with him on any kind of trip.” 

Gwaine grinned at Merlin wholeheartedly and the sorcerer really didn’t know how to react. Should he say that he is very much able to protect himself? Should he scold him for calling his king an idiot in front of the fucking Prince of Camelot? Or should he just make a snarky comment as well? However, Merlin was pleased to find that this decision has been taken from him, as another deep voice interfered.

“Well too bad that he has such a lousy companion then, eh?”

Immediately Gwaine darted around to insult the owner of the voice, but instead of a witty response all that came out was a choked sound as he stared at the tall man in knights armour with broad shoulders and muscles that looked he could crush a head between his thighs or even fingers if you will.

“Gwaine...?”, the king asked carefully, but his knight didn’t seem to even hear him. Instead, a bright smile spread on his face and he launched himself at the taller knight, who happily caught him in his muscly arms. Merlin sure hoped that he didn’t squeeze to hard and accidentally crush his ribs or something. Maybe Merlin also shouldn’t focus so much on the man’s muscles, but honestly? They were quite distracting. 

“God Percival! I can’t believe I’m seeing this. Seeing you of all people! You really made it, huh?”, Gwaine yelled, big eyes studying the broad man, Percival. 

“Percival?”, Merlin now exclaimed, too, quickly following his head knight. “Oh my god, the last time I saw you, you were a scrawny seventeen year old! How the hell did that happen?” He gestured at Percy’s stature, merely seconds before being forced into a bone crushing hug as well.

“Percival! Oh my god, you know that he’s the King of Essetir, right?”, Arthur shouted, suddenly very nervous. Merlin laughed, relieved that no bones actually cracked during the hug.

“It’s fine, really, I know him”, he explained and Arthur just let out a breathy “Oh, well then.”

King?”, Percy asked dumbfounded, yet seconds later he remembered apparently. “Shit, I forgot you guys got married!”

“How could you forget? You were there!” Gwaine pointed out quite irritated.

“Oh give me a break, it’s been like, what, seven years I think?”

“Well, still it was one of your best mate’s wedding with a king. King Cenred to be specific and I swear it was memorable. Well maybe you were too drunk at the party to remember.”

Percival looked seriously offended at that. “Hey! I handle my Liquor very well! And I can remember it perfectly fine, thank you very much. Besides, no one was more drunk on Merlin’s wedding than Merlin himself.”

In response to that, Merlin punched Percival’s shoulder. It had literally no effect, but it was meant more in a metaphoric sense anyways. 

“Maybe Arthur’s right, I’m a King now. You can’t go around and tell such rude things about a king! I could have you, I don’t know, executed!”, he scolded, but his smile gave away his true feelings about it. Well then the knights, the prince and the ward of Camelot and a maid knew that he had been wasted at his own wedding, what about it? It’s not as if that changed anything about his status. 

Apart from that, he added in a lowered voice “and you know I had every right and reason to be”, thus finishing this topic. 

Just then, Merlin noticed everyone quite frankly staring at them and suddenly he realised that this wasn’t perfectly royal behaviour at all. Seeing a foreign king interacting with a knight of Camelot as if they were brothers probably did seem kind of unprofessional. 

“Oh, I’m terribly sorry”, he said eventually, turning to Prince Arthur. “I seemingly interrupted the knights training, which wasn’t my intention. Please, carry on with your duties, I’ll leave you to it then.” Before anyone could interfere, the warlock turned on his heel and quickly left the place, disturbingly aware of all the people watching him in confused silence.

“Merlin, what...?”, Percival asked, making a move to follow him, but Gwaine held him back with a pained expression, silently shaking his head and Percival understood. 

In the meantime Arthur, Morgana and Gwen watched all of it happening in barely a few minutes, too fast over to properly react in any kind of way. Arthur had wanted to refuse the apology, as the interruption hadn’t been a problem, but that actually didn’t seem to be Merlin’s problem. Whatever the actual problem was, it sure had deeper roots and Arthur was suddenly determined to find out more about them. And though it was just a whisper he heard Gwaine tell Percy not to worry and that they’ll get back to him later, Merlin needed some space now, which led the prince to the conclusion that this wasn’t an individual case, but something reoccurring, as his friend already knew how to handle the situation best. 

I’ll find out, he told himself, as he watched the King’s slim figure vanish in the castle, but for now Merlin was right, the knights’ training had to continue. 

Notes:

Yes so, Surprise! I guess haha
I’m terribly sorry for not continuing this story for so long and to be honest, it could happen again. But after 3/4 year I have to say that I missed this story and this ship and everything about it, so I am thrilled to continue. I just don’t know how long my motivation lasts, though I obviously hope to finish this story one day.

If you are still here after all this time as a reader I want to say thank you! So much! But obviously if you are new here thank you for reading as well! I hope you enjoy it! Y’all’s comments really motivated me and kept me going, so thank you for all of them! I appreciate every Kudos & Comment so again, thank you.

I hope to update more regularly and often, but I sadly cannot promise anything. However, have fun reading and tell me what you think! Hopefully my writing has not suddenly gotten the worst after almost a year! Thank you!!!

- Saturning

Chapter 5

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

“Hey Gwaine, please wait up.”

The foreign knight turned around with a smile. “What’s the matter Princess?”, he asked, apparently with no regard to the royal standards the Prince held, but Arthur wouldn’t let that irritate him.

“There’s something I’d like to ask you. Alone, if that’s fine with you, Percy?”, he said rather pointedly and Percy knew it wasn’t a kind question, but an order from his prince. Immediately he made himself scarce, though Gwaine did appear rather disappointed watching his - apparently old friend - leave.

“I suppose it’s about Merlin? I hope you understand that I am in no position to talk about my King’s private life in front of... strangers, even if they happen to be the Prince of Camelot”, Gwaine spoke just as pointedly, but polite.

Arthur felt his mouth run dry, suddenly very aware of his stupid plan to ask his knight instead of Merlin himself.

“Sure”, he croaked out, a little embarrassed. “I was just hoping you could clear up the situation? Tell me if I have to face a cold, but polite king at dinner? So I can prepare?”

Gwaine sighed mournfully, shifting his weight from one foot to another in an uncomfortable movement. “I guess”, he murmured to himself, then steadied and straightened his posture.

“Well, Percival here, one of your knights I assume-“

“- Indeed one of my best.”

“- nice, yes, him. He’s something like an old friend of ours whom we haven’t seen in forever. Like four years for me and even seven for Merlin. We got kind of excited, I guess?”

“Then why was he suddenly so cold?”, Arthur further investigated.

“Well, you see- It’s rather complicated but basically- Merlin has a strong sense of respect and a whole lot of anxiety. Really, he’s just scared to fuck up, so he closes himself off and- I’m already talking too much, god. He should really be the one to tell you this, I am absolutely not authorised to make this decision for him. But about dinner- eh, I really can’t tell you if he’s going to keep his distance or open up again, it’s always a game of hazard with him on this one. So, uh, Good luck, I guess! Don’t worry too much about it, I’ll go talk to him now and try to clear it up again.” The head knight gave him an encouraging pat on the back, before he jogged off into the castle. Arthur was none the wiser actually. 

 

Merlin miserably sat down at the table in his room, maybe banging his head on it once or twice, not loud enough to concern people though. You done it again, great job, he thought to himself in dreadful silence. Of course he just had to loose it, when he saw Percival, didn’t he? And how he excused himself afterwards... ridiculous. Just utterly ridiculous. What kind of King has mood swings like that? And it just had to be in front of Arthur. If Merlin was really unlucky, Arthur got weirded out by his behaviour and will tell his father that the new king of Essetir is unstable and the alliance would be destined to fail. But the prince wasn’t like that, was he? Until now Arthur had been a kind and nice host. But what would Merlin know? His ability to identify good-looking princes as actually unjust and rude men wasn’t very good. After all, he did marry Cenred. No, he had to keep a cool head. An alliance will not form itself, especially not if Merlin kept being unfocused. This wasn’t going to work this way. 

The door was opened, but Merlin left his head lying on the table, unaware of how much time had passed. There was only one person anyway that would just enter without even knocking.

“Don’t even start, Gwaine. I know exactly what you’re about to say and I don’t wanna hear any of it”, he mumbled against the table, eyes closed. 

“Oh no sorry it’s... me.” 

Instantly Merlin picked himself up, just to stare helplessly at the king’s ward standing at the, now again closed, door. Morgana appeared to be just as uncomfortable, but at the same time too worried to yet leave again.

“Sorry”, he muttered and tried to regain his royal posture and attitude. “I assumed you’d be - well obviously you know, I just called you Gwaine accidentally. So, eh, what is the reason for your sudden visit, my lady?”

“Oh my god, would you please stop that?”, Morgana exclaimed, sounding cross all of the sudden. “Don’t cover up your feelings with walls of ice! That’s not helping!”

For a second Merlin thought about being honest, about telling her what was going on inside his head. Then he remembered what happened the last time he did that and quickly disposed that idea. It would have taken too long anyway. 

“I’m honoured that you worry about me already, Morgana, but we do barely know each other. And I may add, at least walls of ice don’t make it worse, like feelings do.”

“Regarding what? How do you want to form an alliance while being cold-blooded?”, Morgana sounded exasperated, scolding him like a mother. 

“Well I can’t form one by being unprofessional, can I? And that’s what my feelings are, unprofessional. So the walls of ice will have to make do. Better to see everything objectively anyway. King Uther certainly doesn’t rely on his emotions.”

“Of course he fucking does! He’s a bitter old man who does what he wants whenever he wants to.” She took a few steps closer to where Merlin was sitting, gesturing wildly. 

“And what came out of it? Sorcery is illegal and innocent people die because he is still bitter about his wife’s death. I will not let that happen to me, that’s final. Thanks, but no thanks.”

“Oh god if you dare say another word, I will strangle you with my own two hands. How often do we need to have this conversation?” Both royals snapped their glance to the door, where Gwaine was standing unanticipated. However he managed to get there so quietly. Or maybe they just did not pay a lot of attention. When did he get there, though?

“Gwaine”, Merlin groaned, covering his face in exhaustion. “Please, don’t make me talk about this. It’s the least I want to do right now, and you can’t change my mind.”

“Merlin”, Gwaine said with a stern look on his face, but then abruptly changed his mind.

“Merlin”, he repeated more softly, allowing himself to step further into the room, now side by side with the other King’s ward. “This is not how we handle things, remember? You are more than what you have been told and you are better than it as well. Emotions make you human and they are not unprofessional. Being emotional is good. Okay? Remember, yes?” He took another few steps until he stood next to Merlin’s chair.

“For fuck’s sake Gwaine, I am a king. I don’t need a knight to tell me what to think! Especially not in front of other royalty! Take a fucking hint!”, Merlin hissed, pushing his chair back in agony, just to be on eye level with his friend. Morgana covered her mouth in shock, but Gwaine - that bastard - smiled.

“That’s right! You don’t need anyone to tell you what to think, especially people who are no longer in your life. So let go of those idiotic lessons. Because they will not help you here. They only ever caused pain and even war. Never alliances. You will need your emotions for that. Your emotions are what makes you a good king.”

The king appeared frozen. Then, uncontrollably, Merlin started sobbing. The anger vanished and left was just this fragile shell of madness and anxiety. 

“I can’t, Gwaine. I just- I can’t. It’s wrong, everything I do feels wrong, I- I know I shouldn’t close myself off, but nothing else works!”, his voice broke halfway through the sentence, shaking.

Morgana felt strangely out of place, as Gwaine eventually embraced his friend.

“C’mere, Merls. It’s fine, okay? Not everything needs figuring out right now. Mood swings are okay, everybody has them and you did not ruin your chances for an alliance, the Prince does not hate you now.”

“How did you kn-“

“I know what you worry about at almost all times, dude. In fact, Arthur stopped me to ask if everything was alright. Take that as you will, but I think he’s curious about you. But besides that, I’m sure you will just wing the dinner tonight and it will all work out fine.”

“The dinner!”, Merlin yelled in shock, quickly retreating from the comforting hug. “Shit, I’ll need to be there any minute now and I look like absolute garbage! Oh my god-“

“Relax, Merlin!”, Morgana finally chimed in. Merlin had completely forgot about the ward in his chambers.

“Oh, right. Sure”, he mumbled wiping away the last traces of his tears. “This is stupid anyway. I’m not a child.”

“Hey! What did I just tell you? Emotions are-“

“Yes, yes emotions are good, I get it, Gwaine.”

“So you won’t distance yourself?”

“I won’t, okay! I won’t, but this is really not the issue! Oh please Morgana, don’t tell anyone what you heard or saw here.” Pleading Merlin watched Morgana, fearing the moment she’d shake his head and run to her king, but she just smiled softly.

“You keep my secret, I keep yours. Secret for secret, that’s how friends do it, right?”

Merlin smiled too, his tears faded. “Right.” Friends.

“Then come on! Dinner waits.”

Notes:

Comments & Kudos greatly appreciated as always!
Thanks for reading! <3

- Saturning

Chapter 6

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Arthur and his father already sat in the dining hall - waiting for Morgana and their foreign guest - when Geoffrey came shuffling in and hurried up to Uther’s chair.

“Sire! It’s urgent”, he pressed. His body language basically screamed ‘nervous!’ and immediately Arthur was all ears; it just had to be about Merlin. Was he a liar after all?

“Yes, you may proceed, but make it quick. They could arrive any second now”, Uther hissed, the expecting gaze pointed at the poor old man.

“Okay, well”, he started, while fiddling with his hands. “I think he is, who he says he is. I just found a whole chapter about him in a book about Essetir, which has an immense amount of information about Merlin and Cenred and their marriage, but the thing is, it didn’t exist earlier this month. When we first heard about Cenred’s death, I read the book once more to know who is next in line and, of course, to make a note of his death. Back then, there was no chapter. There wasn’t even a note of his name. But it’s also not fake. Because those are documents I have made and the chapter is in my handwriting. There is no chance it was not written by me at some point, but I can’t remember it! Like a curse-“

“I said quick.”

“Excuse me, Sire, of course. So I think that he is indeed Merlin the King of Essetir and there have been some important hints, I mean pretty specific, so I think you should know that he may be-“

“I don’t want you to think ,Geoffrey, for God’s sake, I want you to know”, Uther spat, his eyes pierced through the librarian with fury. “If you are not absolutely, swearing-on-your-life kind of certain of the thing you are about to say, don’t even bother wasting the air in your lungs, or you might find yourself without the ability to breathe ever again, because your head will be decorating the main entrance! Understood?” 

The old man nodded frantically and hurried out of sight as fast as his elderly limbs allowed.

“You didn’t have to be that harsh, father”, Arthur commented. “He’s just doing his best to help.”

“Except that he’s not helping. I can’t confront another king with theories, Arthur”, Uther replied thickly.

“He’s late”, Uther pointed out after another few minutes. “And Morgana too. This is unacceptable.”

Arthur groaned in despair. He wasn’t mad that Merlin and Morgana were late, god forbid, he was merely annoyed, that they left him to sit alone with his father for too long already. Uther couldn’t do anything but complain, especially about Merlin, while Arthur just wanted to talk to Merlin or about him in a way that didn’t suggest hanging him, which was impossible with his father sitting at his side. However, just as the king opened his mouth to yet again criticise the situation, the doors were opened and Merlin and Morgana came striding in.

“You’re late”, Uther repeated, though slightly more respectful.

“I believe that’s my fault, Sire”, Morgana said before Merlin had the chance to excuse himself. “I told Merlin a few things about Camelot and in exchange he told me some things about Essetir, I fear we got quite distracted and forgot about the time.”

“Well then... at least you showed up in the end. Please, have a seat”, said Uther surprisingly calm and put on a smile.

The food was delivered by the servants, Guinevere under them, and they began eating.

“So, Merlin”, Uther said in between bites and Merlin felt like he was meeting his boyfriend’s overprotective parent for the first time (he ignored his own thoughts, that Arthur would probably be a great boyfriend). “If you don’t mind me asking... we received the news that Cenred died and that Essetir has a new king. I was wondering why it didn’t say that you were left to be the only king?”

Merlin looked up from his dinner, still smiling politely but some kind of cold had settled in his eyes. “I haven’t been king until his death, I - as his husband - was just next in line.”

“But when a king marries a woman, she becomes Queen”, Arthur now interjected. “Shouldn’t it be the same for two men?”

“Usually, yes”, Merlin agreed, putting down his cutlery. “But Cenred did not want me to be king, and as king himself, he could do whatever he wanted. I simply was his advisor and official right hand.”

“Was the marriage not official then?”, Arthur continued asking.

“Oh no it was. It was big. Everyone knew.”

“Why wouldn’t he want you to be king?”

“Well, Prince Arthur, you see- that matter is rather complicated and I’d like to leave it at that for now. I’ll gladly answer any other questions, but please refrain from those about Cenred and his decisions, thank you.”

Arthur watched Merlin with awe, wondering just how well the king managed to avoid certain topics without seeming rude. Arthur himself had quite a lot problems on that matter.

“Yes, you must still be mourning, after all it’s not been long since his so sudden death. It must have been horrible”, said Uther, his voice dripping of empathy and his son was surprised to recognise it was real. He must be thinking about mother, the prince thought to himself.

“Anyways, what have you been before you married the king of Essetir? Surely you are from royal blood?” The king’s expecting gaze laid on Merlin yet again, who couldn’t care less about the pressure the king radiated.

“Funny enough, I haven’t been until my marriage. I have merely been a farmers son that came to Essetir in order to become a-“, he stopped for a second, eyes quickly darting to Morgana, who had not spoken a word since she sat down, then back to the king. “-physician. I’ve been a student. But then one thing led to the other and sooner rather than later I found myself at the side of a powerful ruler, helping to navigate and organise a kingdom.”

Arthur watched his father search for the right answer with amusement. Surely, the King of Camelot did not quite approve of this break of tradition, but what was he supposed to say? Essetir wasn’t his business and neither was Merlin’s life. But an approving answer still seemed too much, didn’t it? Merlin appeared to notice as well.

“I guess Essetir is very different from Camelot in its traditions, isn’t it? Or, well, at least it’s good at breaking them”, the dark haired chuckled. “Yes, a lot of people didn’t like the first marriage of a king with a commoner to also be homosexual, but what can I say? No one complains anymore.”

Brave. That was what Arthur thought. How brave of Cenred to marry a commoner and a man at that as well, breaking traditions wherever he could. Uther on the other hand tried to quickly change the topic. 

“I heard you visited the knight’s training today, is that right?”

“Oh absolutely. Gwaine requested it. I’m impressed. Your son is a brilliant swordsman, his fighting style is very unique.”

“Thank you, my Lord”, Arthur said, not being able to contain the sheepish smile from spreading.

“I’ve seen Gwaine fight a lot of people and honestly, there were very few that could win against him, myself put aside, so it was absolutely intriguing to watch.” Merlin kept holding eye contact with Arthur, while talking, to the point that the prince felt hot under his clothes, but couldn’t look away. His gorgeous blue eyes were addicting.

“So you are a swordsman yourself?”, he asked, still withstanding his gaze.

“Not exactly.”

“But a fighter?”

“Of course, no king should thoroughly rely on being protected by others. I’m an archer, to be exact.” For a second he looked over to Morgana again, even caught Gwen’s eye for a brief moment. 

“Archery? Why that’s unusual for a king.”

“You’d be surprised.”

“Now that makes me curious, I’d like to hear more about it.”

“Maybe tomorrow when you show me a little more of Camelot? I’ve been dying to see the lower towns and the woods as well.”

“Sure, I’d be glad to show you around, my Lord.”

“Then it’s settled.”

They exchanged another smile and finished their dinner, while Uther kept silent.

Notes:

Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think with a comment!
I know the action is going slow right now, but I swear there will be more revealing soon :)

Kudos & Comments appreciated <3

- Saturning

Chapter 7

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

It was way past midnight when Morgana opened her eyes and almost screamed in terror at seeing a figure by her bed, whispering something she couldn’t quite hear. Actually, she did scream, but was quickly silenced by something invisible. Not a hand or anything touchable, but her voice was inaudible, which she found rather disturbing. The figure finally stepped into the light and Morgana stopped panicking as she recognised the foreign king. The spell was lifted and Morgana tested her voice by humming, before she started hissing.

“Are you crazy?! What the hell are you doing?”

“Sorry, I haven’t finished the isolation spell yet, people might hear us”, Merlin answered.

“Isolation spell? What for? Do you only sleep for three hours in Essetir?”

Merlin laughed and shook his head. Instead of an answer, he just finished performing the spell. Fascinated - and still too tired and confused to interject - the ward watched him whisper the at the same time so strange and unknown but also familiar and understandable words while his eyes glowed softly. Eventually the gold faded, but not after Merlin performed another quick spell to light up the candles.

“I figured light would be a good idea”, he offered.

“I see. What for again? How did you even get in here? I mean, I like you Merlin, but showing up in my usually guarded room in the middle of the night and not giving me an explanation is kind of creepy, you know.” Morgana watched him with dismay and Merlin pressed out an embarrassed laugh.

“Sorry, I guess you’re right. Your room was guarded, it’s just no match for me.”

“Ah, of course. Sorcerer. Almost forgot.”

“Yeah, that’s also the reason I’m here. I recall promising you some lessons in magic?”

Immediately Morgana was wide awake and up on her bed.

“Really? Now?”

“Well, practically it is already tomorrow. And it might be a little suspicious in the daytime. Even if we’d do it in an isolated room, sooner or later it would attract attention that we hang out a lot and believe me, we do not need that drama. I already have problems making others believe that I am actually only attracted to men and if people notice us hiding in any room for a longer period of time-“

“Thanks, Merlin. I understand, no need for details”, Morgana exclaimed quickly. “I’m used to functioning on not too much sleep anyways.”

“Yeah, me too”, Merlin sighed and offered a small smile.

There was silence for a few moments, as they listened to the sounds of the night, each sunken in their own thoughts.

“What are we starting with?”, Morgana eventually asked, the excitement vibrated through her body, which resulted in her magic acting up and making all the candles flicker. Merlin watched and smiled. 

“Control”, he said. His new student appeared disappointed at that. “Expected something else?”

“I don’t know. I guess some easy spells or something.”

“Spells are the last thing you learn. The easy, useful or needed ones usually come by intuition, but before we practise any kinds of spells, we need you to find the core of your magic, find out its capacities and triggers and learn to control it. Uncontrolled, repressed magic is the most dangerous thing ever. It’s not always easy to deal with magic, you know. It doesn’t always obey your mind, but rather your heart, but there are ways you can still control it and keep the magic from doing things it’s not supposed to.”

“Do things it’s not supposed to? Like what?”

“Like show itself in situations it’s not supposed to for example, or would you like to have your magic burst out, because you are angry at Uther? Or maybe in worst-case scenarios... hurt or kill. Maybe even yourself.”

“That does sound unpleasant. All of it.”

“That’s why control is the most important thing you can learn.”

“Alright, how do we start?”

“Meditation.”

 

“This is horrible”, Morgana whispered through the darkness, eyes closed and legs crossed, her arms were neatly folded in her lap. Merlin sat across from her in the same position, both on the floor, just one candle between them as a light source.

“It wouldn’t be, if you concentrated properly on your magic”, Merlin answered, voice neutral and focused.

“It’s boring. I can’t find it. It’s been like twenty minutes. Can’t you help me a little more?”

“Everyone reaches out to their magic in a different way.”

“Well, how do I even know when I find it? What do I do with it?”

“You’ll know, trust me. Then we find out what it’s nature is.”

“Nature?”

“You know, destructive, healing, protective or even visionary. Can be more than one, possible is all of it, not very common though.”

“You have...?”

Merlin smiled in the darkness, knowing he’d sound like an arrogant prick. “All. I’m pretty powerful, but it is also harder for me to control it all the time than for others. Triggers are a very dangerous thing, even for me, after all these years of training.”

“What exactly are your triggers? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“Well, anger and grief are... hard emotions to deal with on its own. Magic doesn’t make it a lot easier, fear, too. Sometimes at least.” There was more, but both knew that Merlin wasn’t going to talk about it.

“How do we find out what my triggers are?”, Morgana asked instead.

“We’ll get to that later. First, you need to focus now. I can’t tell you the right way to find your magic, but maybe my ways can help you find your own. Take my hands and I’ll show you how I do it.” Without a second thought Morgana reached out, closed eyes still, and surprisingly found Merlin’s hands right away. She carefully listened to his breathing and tried to mimic him as best as she could. Then all of the sudden everything felt weird. It was as if she was Merlin. His magic tingled in the fingertips and rushed through the blood until it spread through the whole body and at last, all she could feel was magic and it felt incredible. Like a thunderstorm, but soft like clouds. Every description she’d try to come up with just wasn’t accurate. It was as if light itself travelled through his veins. Then, abruptly, she was cut off from it. Seconds later she realised Merlin let go of her hands and opened his eyes again.

“Was that pure magic?”, she asked.

“Yes. That was my magic, running through my veins and my whole body at all times and that’s how I usually reach out to it. Now, try again.”

Morgana nodded once more and obeyed. Eyes closed again, she tried to focus on her fingertips, trying to find that tingle, but it didn’t work. She remembered her first magical incidents and how she had felt using magic, where she felt it and what she felt. She remembered almost hyperventilating and upon that thought, she felt her tongue and throat tingle. Her attention was quickly drawn to it, exploring its origin and following it through her body. This kept going for quite a while, until she accidentally lost trail, got unfocused and lost the connection to her inner magic. Frustrated she groaned and opened her eyes to a smiling Merlin.

“That was good!”, he said.

“I couldn’t get to the core”, she replied, seemingly mad at herself.

“That’s unimportant. First of all, you found your magic and that’s great! No one gets it perfectly right at the first time. Maybe even not the second or third or fourth. And that’s okay, magic is complex and difficult and also very unique for everyone. It’s hard to teach when there is few universal knowledge about it and even harder to learn the basics when all the books are only about potions and spells. You did great Morgana, but I fear it’s already getting early and I should return to my chambers. After all, I have a whole day of Camelot and Prince Arthur as my guide planned today.”

“Well, good luck with that. He can be an upright arse, my brother, but I should think he’ll treat you well, because it’s about politics.”

“To be honest, I think he is not only nice because I have political value. He’s a nice person.”

“Whatever you say, your majesty.”

A laugh escaped the warlocks throat before he eventually bid her farewell and passed the still sleeping guard in front of the door, who woke up merely seconds after the king vanished around a corner, what a coincidence.

Notes:

Thanks for reading!!
Also a BIG thank you to all the people who commented on this story, I hope you’ll continue to do so and overall like the story!

Kudos & Comments always appreciated. Good night!

- Saturning

Chapter 8

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Merlin... you’re not supposed to do that, remember?.... Merlin, you forgot it again..... it’s just a spell..... you won’t see them... it will be fine, I’m here... Merlin... you will do as you are told!... useless bastard........ what are you even good for?..... I love you.... I’m sorry.... you’ll do better than me... Merlin.....

 

“Merlin!”

The king finally jolted awake at the sound of Gwaine’s loud voice by his bed. He found himself panting and anxious, shortly he forgot where he was. Gwaine was sitting on the edge of his bed, one hand on his shoulder, looking like a worried mother hen.

“Sorry”, Merlin gulped. “Just the usual.”

“Well, good that I convinced the servants to let me do the waking up, or else someone might have been surprised by half of the room fucking levitating”, Gwaine explained now hinting a smile, though no less worried.

“Oh”, came the hesitant reply. “Being asleep doesn’t work too well for me, does it?”

“I fear not, but unfortunately you have to, in order to function.” Merlin sighed in agony.

“I guess. Maybe I should search for the court physician later and ask for a sleeping draught.”

“Last time you tried a non-magical one, it got worse.”

“Well, I won’t take the risk and enchant anything here. Better to be safe than sorry, and maybe their court physician makes better ones? I heard Morgana finds them useful and I believe she knows what she’s talking about.”

“Ah, the weird sorcerer intuition of yours.”

“No, she literally told me. She has great sleeping problems that are tied to her magic.”

“Well, yours aren’t.”

“I mean, magic is not the reason, but it still affects it. As you may have recognised while looking at levitating chairs while I was asleep.”

“Actually the chairs didn’t lev-“

“Shut up, you know what I mean. I’ll just give it a try. Honestly, it can’t get much worse.”

Gwaine looked as if the words got stuck in his throat and he desperately tried to find the right replacement.

“That bad?”, was the unsatisfying solution he settled on.

“It’s been only a month. I can’t expect it to be over that fast.”

“However”, Gwaine said, regaining his bright smile. “You can distract yourself from all of it today, because Prince Arthur will take you on an adventure!”

“What are you Gwaine, six? He’s showing me around Camelot as my guide, nothing more.”

“Sure, sure. Nothing more, of course. We will talk about that later today, huh? Percy and I will-“

“‘Percy and I’? Gwaine are you falling into old habits?”, Merlin interrupted, now grinning himself. Gwaine blushed.

“What? No. We just planned to catch up. I don’t even know what you mean.” He was a bad liar.

“Sure. Just catching up or continuing where you two left off?”

Just catching up.”

We will talk about that later today, huh?”, Merlin mocked, his grin widening and Gwaine shook his head in disapproval.

“Whatever you want to believe in, mate. But if I were you, I’d get ready, breakfast starts in ten.”

Shit.”

 

“You ready?”, Arthur asked as he looked over to Merlin on his horse, a tat nervous but he hides it well.

“Absolutely”, Merlin replied. That’s all Arthur needed to hear.

The prince found out that Merlin was a very good horseman indeed, not that he struggled to keep up, but neither did Merlin. It was refreshing, as if they were just on the perfect same level, riding through the woods with the speed of the wind, or at least that’s how it felt. It felt free. They only slowed down a little deeper in the forests, finally riding right next to each other.

“I thought starting with the lower towns would be boring so I figured you might want to observe the beautiful nature Camelot has to offer”, Arthur told after a long moment of comfortable silence.

“Great idea, honestly, I always loved the nature. And Camelot is indeed beautiful but again, honestly, if it weren’t for growing up in Essetir, I wouldn’t be able to tell them apart.” Arthur laughed a little. “Me probably neither, but Camelot sure has something that Essetir cannot offer you. Want to see it?”

“Do you really have to ask?” Merlin grinned at the prince and joyfully Arthur sped up his horse, this time a specific destination in mind, Merlin close behind.

Not even ten minutes later Merlin found himself staring at a wonderful, glistering lake, big enough for him to not be able to see the end. A static, charged up atmosphere surrounded the water and he felt his magic tingle under his skin for various reasons. Not only because the lake seemed magical and familiar, but maybe also because Arthur stood just so close, their arms were already brushing against each other,

For a land that has forbidden magic I do feel a lot of it, he quietly thought to himself.

“This is the lake-“, Arthur started, but Merlin finished his sentence before he could.

“Avalon”, he breathed, sounding astonished. “It’s beautiful, thank you, Arthur. I’ve always wanted to come see this place.” His feet started walking towards the water without Merlin’s approval, but he didn’t interject. Eventually he kneeled down, carefully touching the crystal clear water. Instantly magic started to practically pour through his body, sending excited shivers down his spine.

“You already know about Lake Avalon?”, Arthur asked genuinely interested, as he came to stood by Merlin’s side.

“I really do”, he said, hinting this weird melancholy again that made Arthur hurt to hear but anxious to ask.

“Okay, but I bet you haven’t been swimming in it yet”, he said instead.

“What?” Dumbfounded Merlin looked at the prince and god he almost got distracted by the way the sun made his golden hair glow and his features light up and his stature stand out and-

“Lets go swimming, Merlin! The weather is nice, the water is, too, and we’ve got plenty of time on our hands, I wouldn’t know what to show you a whole day long. So what do you think?”

Oh the things Merlin would give to see Arthur undressed, water dripping from his hair, eyelashes all clumped, laughing at Merlin in the water; it pained him to turn him down.

“No, I don’t- I can’t”, he said, gulping down his sorrow and guilt.

“What, you can’t swim? That’s unexpected.” Arthur raised his eyebrows.

“Of course I can swim, you prat!” Merlin laughed, pushing himself to an upward stance again. “I can’t properly explain it to you, Arthur, I’m sorry. But if you feel like swimming, mind you! I’ll gladly sit by and watch you paddle in the Lake.”

“Oh, you just say that to see me undressed, do you?” Arthur grinned at Merlin, who’s face instantly turned red.

“What? No! I wasn’t- just because I’m gay doesn’t mean-“

“I was kidding!”, Arthur exclaimed laughing, grabbing the king by the shoulders in a calming movement, or at least that’s how it was supposed to go. 

This action triggered something in Merlin, as he roughly shoved him away, stumbled backwards and yelled “please don’t hurt me!”, while raising his hands defensively. 

Arthur was shocked. Frozen, actually, as he tried to process what just happened in front of him. Merlin stood few feet away from him, eyes squeezed shut, shaking.

“What? Merlin, I won’t. I’d never-“, Arthur started but he was too confused and unfocused to properly finish his sentence. Still shaking greatly, Merlin now buried his face in his hands, seemingly trying to control his breathing. Arthur wanted to help, but what was he supposed to do? He didn’t even know what happened.

“Is it okay if I come near you?”, he asked, carefully eyeing the king in front of him, but actually, right now that’s not what he saw. He saw a young man, a broken, tired, scared though beautiful young man that needed help. And Arthur would be damned if he wouldn’t at least try to give it to him, give him everything he can offer. An almost invisible nod was the answer and Arthur cautiously took one step closer, then another, to not startle the other, until he stood just far away enough to not be in his personal space, but close enough to reach out for him. Now what?

“Damn”, he mumbled imperceptibly, got over himself and just wrapped his arms around Merlin in a kind embrace. First, it didn’t seem to affect Merlin at all, which was at least better than the panic from before, but after a few moments of Arthur whispering something along the lines of “shh, it’s okay, alright? It’s fine” Merlin did appear to stop shaking so much and eventually he cleared his face from the tears that have been dripping down and took a few deep breaths, while Arthur just stood there quietly, trying not to stare too much. 

“I’m sorry, this shouldn’t have happened, Arthur”, Merlin finally told, arms crossed in front of his chest protectively.

“Don’t be. It’s not your fault, is it?”, Arthur answered. Merlin shrugged.

“I guess not. Still, usually I’m more under control and I can only imagine how awkward this must be now. I know I’ve been behaving... weirdly. Especially yesterday at the knights training. And I’m sorry for it, it really is unprofessional.”

“That sounds... unhealthy”, Arthur said, surprised from his own confidence. “I’m not trying to invade your privacy or anything, but I’m less worried about your professionalism than I’m worried about your health.”

“You don’t even know me, why would you be worried about me?”

“I don’t know... intuition? A good heart?”, Arthur offered with an amused smile, which seemed to be infectious, as even Merlin showed the ghost of one.

“How do you do that, Arthur?”, he asked.

“Do what?”

“Appear so trustworthy. I’m really tempted to just... talk. How do you do that?”

“You know if you want, you could just... talk. I’m a pretty good listener sometimes. Feel like now is the time.”

Merlin smiled once more, but it was sad again. “I wish I could, but it’s all not that easy.”

“Bummer. Maybe another time then”, Arthur simply answered. He knew, pushing wouldn’t lead to anything, especially not if he wanted to keep Merlin’s trust. And Merlin appreciated it immensely, as he rewarded Arthur with another, this time definitely thankful, smile, that made his eyes glow just a little bit, and weirdly, made Arthur’s heart flutter.

“Want to stay here for a little while longer?”

“Sure, I don’t think I’m safe enough on my legs yet to continue riding anyways.”

So the boys sat down at the shore, watching the water’s movement in silence.

 

“You know why I love this place?”, Arthur asked after a while.

“Why?”

“Because it feels... like something. I don’t know how to describe it exactly but it doesn’t feel like the castle or the town, it feels special. Magical, kind of.” Merlin’s heart skipped a beat at the mention of magic.

“I know it sounds ridiculous. Magic is still bad and it shouldn’t feel so special, at least that’s what my father says. But it does. And I can’t stop feeling like it’s fine, here, in this place.”

Merlin hummed slightly and decided to take the opportunity to ask something risky. “Are you against magic?”

“Honestly? I don’t know. My father taught me to hate it. I’ve seen it’s destructive powers. But I’ve also seen it do good things. And again, it feels right, here.”

“I feel so, too. I mean, here. It does feel special here, magical.”

“I know, right! Thank you, man, no one else ever believed me when I said this. Except, well. You know, I had a nanny once, when I was younger, obviously.”

Arthur felt warm under Merlin’s curious gaze, while his eyes were locked on the sparkling lake.

“She was great, from all the ones I’ve had, she’d been my favourite. She was kind and loving and strong and maybe sometimes harsh, but I needed that. When she would tuck me in bed every night, she would tell me stories about her people. It was our secret, I wasn’t allowed to tell them to anyone. She was a druid. She would tell me about sorcery and magic every night, about conjuring colourful lights, creating beautiful things, healing the wounded warriors that fought so bravely on the battlefield and the magic of the lake of Avalon. And she would talk about a legend, in which a powerful warlock named Emrys and his great dragon would bring peace and unity to Albion once more and she said that if I did good, I could help him create it. I held on to that. Father didn’t make a very good job of making the throne look admirable, but her stories made me long to be king and change something, be someone significant. Then she was killed, because some bastard overheard a conversation and told the guards who then told my father. And Uther doesn’t know mercy; I begged him endlessly but it didn’t help. From then on I was never again shown the beauty of magic and maybe I did loose faith in it. But this place will always feel special. Maybe just because of her, but I don’t think it matters. After all love is some kind of magic, isn’t it? Though she really deserved better than to die, especially better than to burn at the stake.”

“I’m sorry about her. She seemed to be lovely.”

“Thank you, she was.” 

The air was filled with melancholic silence swaying between them, their thoughts like a thick fog through which one had to fight a way through, but together everything was easier and each other’s presence did help.

“I knew someone vaguely like that as well. She’s also the reason this place feels... special for me”, Merlin said after another while, eyes still locked on the horizon.

“Yeah? What’s her name?”

“Freya. She was a fierce warrior and an even better friend. She died three years ago in a complicated matter and I still feel like it’s my fault. However, I like to think that her soul is tied to this place, and that she lives on as the Lady of the Lake and Nymph of the forest.”

“Lady of the Lake, huh? Sounds nice actually, I’m sure she does.” Arthur offered a genuine smile and Merlin returned it.

“Arthur?”

“Hm?”

“Thank you, again. For today. Just overall. It’s nice feeling just like... a human.”

“Yeah, I think so, too. You’re welcome.”

“Then I think I’m ready to ride again. The lower towns are still waiting and I’m sure your father will be furious if we’re not back in time for dinner.” This made Arthur laugh and quickly get to his feet. 

“You’re right, he’d be livid. Let’s go then. First at the gates of Camelot wins!” And with that, Arthur ran, while Merlin scrambled to his feet and took off slightly behind him.

“Unfair!”, he yelled, “I don’t even know the exact way back!”

“Sounds like a you problem”, Arthur grinned down on him from his horse for a second before he rode off first.

“Oh, we’ll see who has the problem”, Merlin chuckled and got on his own horse to ride after the idiot prince.

 

Merlin won.

Notes:

Finally got around to some angsty Merthur :)
I hope you enjoyed reading so far! Thanks for doing so!

Comments & Kudos always greatly appreciated, thanks for all the love!

- Saturning

Chapter 9

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Cautiously Merlin knocked on the door that, if he got Gwen’s directions right, should belong to their Court Physician. A rough voice called him in, an elderly man, Merlin saw as he opened the door.

“I’m sorry for the late disruption, I couldn’t come earlier. You are the court physician, right? Or did I get the wrong door?”

“No, boy, you were not mistaken. Indeed, I am the court physician. How can I help you?”, the friendly man offered.

Relieved, Merlin smiled and held out his hand for the man to shake. “Good, my name’s Merlin, nice to make your acquaintance. I’m here for-“

Merlin?”, the physician interrupted, eyes widened and mouth opened in shock. “Essetir-Merlin? King-Merlin?”

Merlin smiled and lowered his hand again, as the physician obviously didn’t intent to take it. “Oh, yes, right, King Merl-“ 

Hunith-Merlin?

Now it was Merlin’s turn to gape. “You know my mother?”

“Oh dear boy the last time I saw you- god I can’t even remember how many years it’s been, but I know it was still in Ealdor.” The old man shuffled closer with a smile brighter than the sun.

“I’m sorry, I can’t remember you”, Merlin said, studying the physician closely and he does appear known, but he can’t quite reach any memory containing him. 

“Oh, obviously you can’t. I believe you were like 14 when we last met and it was in a hurry. I’m Gaius, an old friend from your mother and I briefly know your father, too. I am absolutely delighted to see you, although I have to confess- I am kind of worried about you being here.”

“Gaius... that does sound familiar. I think I remember your last visit! Oh it was nice, Mum still talks about you sometimes, though I don’t see her too often myself. However, I do not quite understand why you would be worried about me being in Camelot.” 

Gaius looked around, as if making sure nobody was listening to them.

“Dear boy, you know that magic is strictly illegal here in Camelot. I fear you might be in great danger if they found out about you.”

Merlin tried his best to contain a neutral expression. “Why thanks for your worry, though I do not know how you found out about me, but there’s no need. Soon enough they will find out anyways, as I’m planning to reveal myself, and if it comes to the worst, I know perfectly well how to protect myself and I am prepared to do so.”

“You’re planning to reveal yourself? Are you out of your mind? I know that sorcery is powerful, especially if the owner is skilled, but you must remember that Uther dealt with a lot of them until now. He executed more than I can count, skilled and powerful ones too. Don’t be dumb, Merlin, please. You wouldn’t like to make your mother sad, would you?”

“My mother is not here. As I Said, I appreciate your worry”, Merlin pressed, “but I do not need it. Uther certainly never dealt with someone like me. My decision is made. I will not leave Camelot with my secret uncovered. And I will not form an alliance knowing that my peaceful people might be killed on this territory. I would, in fact, rather die.”

Gaius sighed rather dramatically, but he finally acknowledged and understood what Merlin told and didn’t interject anymore. “If that is your wish”, he said. 

“Thank you. Anyways, I’m not here to argue with an old family friend, am I?”

“Oh! Right, what was it you wanted from me?”

Merlin felt his spirits being lifted again, as he answered smiling. “I heard from the lady Morgana that you make exquisite sleeping draughts, that the truth?”

Flustered the elderly man looked down for second. “Well, I wouldn’t call myself an expert, but I guess they are helping. You need one? What for?”

“Well, I appear to unconsciously use my magic when I dream and that is rather... problematic here. So a dreamless night of pure sleep is what I hope for.”

“I’ll see what I can do. But if it’s worse than Morgana’s sleeping problems, then you probably should think about soundproofing your room and having someone to wake you up who knows about it.”

“Yeah, I figured. I’ll ask my headknight do wake me up again, he’s used to levitating things and so on.” 

The room was silent for a few moments as both men didn’t know what to say anymore. Merlin didn’t want to leave just yet again, after all one doesn’t meet an old family friend very often.

“So how is your mother doing? Haven’t heard from her for a while.” Merlin smiled thinking about his Mum.

“She’s fine. You know her, I couldn’t convince her to come live with me in the castle, so she stayed in Ealdor handling the farm. My father too, obviously. They visit me a lot though and I try to visit them too, but it’s hard, considering the many many things I have to take care of now. I’ve got Mordred, but he’s still young and I don’t want him to be crushed under too many expectations. Being king really isn’t all that easy but I’m slowly getting used to the job.”

Gaius nodded along to the story. “Sure it is. I’m just watching Uther and Arthur do their jobs, but it does seem like a lot of work, especially for one person alone.”

“Arthur, he is different, isn’t he? From his father, I mean. I never saw a father and son so different.”

Gaius laughed at that. “Not too different I fear, but I get what you mean. Arthur is kind and just where as Uther is... he has a strong will, let’s put it like that. He’s not a necessarily bad king, he is just very sure of his ideals. And bitter, yes, he’s still bitter. I wouldn’t wish him death - god forbid - but I do look forward to the day that Arthur inherits the throne.” 

A faint smile appeared on Merlin’s face as he thought about Arthur being a king. Sometimes he forgets that princes actually evolve to be king one day and that people like Uther and Cenred do not live forever. But their stories do. And their actions. And suddenly Merlin felt bitter as well.

They kept on chatting aimlessly for a little while until Gaius noticed the time and reminded Merlin of the dinner he had to attend yet again and promised him to have the sleeping draught ready for him later. Merlin thanked him and left, hurrying to the dining hall.

 

The dinner went down uneventful. It was more small talk than anything else, mostly between Arthur and Merlin, but at the end they decided to start the negotiations about their alliance the following day after breakfast. Uther asked Arthur to stay for a moment after dinner and Merlin used the moment alone with Morgana outside the hall to tell her he couldn’t do a lesson tonight, but she could try on her own, as he wanted to properly test the sleeping draught and get a good night of sleep before the important negotiations. Of course Morgana understood and promised to do her very best to practice, Merlin wouldn’t doubt that. Just as they parted ways and Merlin wanted to make his way to Gaius again, he was held up by Arthur.

“Merlin! Wait up”, he loudly said and Merlin turned around, stopping immediately.

“What’s the matter?”, he asked.

“I just wanted to say... I enjoyed your company today. Tomorrow’s negotiations won’t take the whole day and if you’re willing, I’d love to ride out again, with you, obviously.” Arthur was kneading his hands and shifting his weight from one foot to the other constantly while talking. Did Merlin make him that nervous? And why exactly did Merlin feel excited about it?

“Sure, sounds great!”

A cheerful smile washed over the prince’s face and he nodded. “Great, that’s settled then. See you tomorrow at breakfast?”

“Absolutely.”

“Perfect, then good night.”

“Good Night, Arthur.”

With a smile both eventually left in opposite directions, though Arthur couldn’t help but look over his shoulder to just briefly meet Merlin’s eyes again.

 

“Shit”, Merlin breathed as he entered his chambers in which Gwaine waited expectantly. He closed the door, placed the sleeping draught on the table and finally looked into Gwaine’s eyes with the horror of realisation standing in his own. “I think Arthur and I are crushing on each other.”

Notes:

Again thank you for reading and all your lovely lovely comments! Please know that I read and appreciate them all very very much, though I do not reply often, I never know what to say. So thank you! Obviously for the Kudos too!

Comments & Kudos always appreciated ! Thank you!

- Saturning

Chapter 10

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Gwaine gazed at his king in confusion. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t that, like, a good thing? It’s a big step for you man, be careful, but it’s good! Arthur seems fine. He’s a good dude. And a royal.”

“God I don’t care about that, Gwaine! It’s not about me”, Merlin groaned. “It wouldn’t be good for Arthur to get too involved with me. I’m a wreck and a wizard!”

“I don’t think he cares about either.”

“I know he doesn’t, but his father does. When he finds out, he’ll go wild and mad and want to cut me off immediately. I would have to make Arthur choose. And that’s not fair. God, this could get him into so much trouble. And on top of that I am so much trouble to be with, especially now. If Uther really hates me, he could even be denied the throne! Oh god, that would be horrible. I don’t even know if he actually likes me like that. Oh what am I even thinking, of course he doesn’t, I’m broken! God he saw me broken. Maybe that’s for the better. I’m not good for him and after all, I still have a destiny to focus on, Kilgarrah wasn’t-“

Merlin.” Gwaine finally drew Merlin’s attention, giving him a disapproving look. “Stop rambling. You know it’s not right what you’re saying. You’re not broken, you’re hurt. That’s okay to be. If Arthur can’t handle it, fine, he doesn’t have to, but he won’t make you feel worse than you do, that’s, after all I’ve seen and heard of him, really not his style. Okay? Let things play out. Worry later.”

“You’re right”, Merlin said. “I know you’re right, it’s just hard. But yeah. I should focus on the first negotiations tomorrow.” 

Eventually the king slumped down on the chair across from Gwaine and sighed. “So, how was your day then? Had a good time catching up-“, Merlin stopped as he noticed something on his knight. Immediately he stepped up, went around the table and eyed Gwaine closely, who yet again had a look of confusion on his face. “Is- Gwaine. Is that a hickey?” 

Faster than lightening Gwaine’s hand flew up to cover the red-purple-y mark that had been left on his neck, his cheeks were red like Camelot’s robes and his eyes darted from anywhere to everywhere but Merlin’s face. And Merlin laughed absolutely delighted. 

“Oh my god, how dare you let me ramble about my insignificant problems for minutes when you’ve got something so important to tell me! I knew the spark was still there.”

“Oh, shut up, prat. It’s nothing like that. Well, maybe it is something like that, but it’s not serious, you know? It wasn’t important”, Gwaine mumbled, gaze glued to his shoes.

“Liar.”

“Oh would you stop that? Even if it was like you are suggesting, it wouldn’t be a good idea. He lives here. He’s a knight here. We live too far apart for it to be anything like that.”

“Oh no, that argument doesn’t count. You can’t tell me Arthur and I would make a great couple besides being actual fucking royalty that have to take care of their different kingdoms but then argue that Percy being a knight of Camelot and thus too far away is the big issue.”

“Well, but I think you might be able to handle a distant relationship, I doubt that I could.”

Merlin raised his eyebrows at his friend. “So you agree that it is like That?”

Gwaine sighed in agony, finally lifting his eyes to meet Merlin’s. “It could be. But we’re cowards. And would probably die when separated. It’s better to keep distance.”

“Doesn’t seem cowardly when the first thing you do after four years of separation is fuck.” Gwaine’s cheeks heated up even more and again his eyes couldn’t stand Merlin’s. 

“Sounds weird when you say it like that”, he muttered under his breath. 

“Kinda is, if you won’t go any further”, Merlin retorted, walked back to his chair and slumped down lazily. “You know”, he started, eyes focused on his knight, “You could always... stay.”

Gwaine’s head jerked up at that, staring intensely at his king as if trying to see through his words.

“Stay?”, he repeated. “Are you out of your mind? Stay and what? Leave you to govern Essetir by yourself?”

“I’ve got Mordred. And I do know more than one knight, I’ll find someone who is suited for your position eventually, though obviously no one will be you. Also, if the alliance goes well, you can always visit.”

“Nah man, for nothing in the world will I leave your side in Essetir and if it’s the last thing I do.”

Merlin felt weirdly touched by that statement, but at the same time wanted to punch his friend. “Stubborn as always, I see. Well then, turn it around. Ask Percy to come with us. He’ll be a high ranking knight in no time and by your side.”

“You think he’d return to Essetir after he willingly left?”

“First of all, he did not very willingly leave. His parents made him after he failed the knight’s test and because they wouldn’t want to live under Cenred anymore. But Cenred is history now and well, Percy is a fucking jacked knight already. No issue there. Just don’t know if he is willing to leave his prince.” Gwaine didn’t answer. He appeared sunken in his mind, wondering about the different possibilities and Merlin could all too much empathise with him in that moment.

“No need to make a decision now anyways”, the knight eventually spoke with a hint of a smile. “We got at least a week to sort things out. I’ll just... sleep over it.”

“That’s a good idea. I’ll do the same now. Gotta try out the draught, don’t I?”

Gwaine smiled and got up. After patting Merlin friendly on his back and wishing him a goodnight he headed for the door, only turned around when Merlin stopped him one last time.

“Are you going to wake me up tomorrow? After all, I don’t know if the sleeping draught works well enough.”

“Sure thing, king.”

Merlin answered with an eye roll, but shot him a grateful look nonetheless as his friend headed out the door. 

Notes:

I know it’s been long lmao but here we are! Pretty uneventful, but I hope you enjoy it anyways! Sorry if the quality is going down, I’m not writing regularly at the moment and can’t stay focused for longer periods of time, but I try to continue nevertheless.
Thanks for reading!

Kudos & Comments obviously appreciated. Love yall!
- Saturning

Chapter 11

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Merlin was woken up by a hand softly shaking him. His eyelids flew open and after a few seconds of orientation, he recognised Gwaine next to his bed.

“Morning, Sire”, the knight grinned. Grudgingly Merlin sat up in his bed, not quite yet wanting to get out of his warm sheets. 

“How was your night?”, Gwaine asked, sitting down on his bed.

“Surprisingly well. No dreams, no waking up, nothing. The sleeping draught worked well. Or did something levitate again?”

“Nope, no flying anything’s. You’re safe.”

“Thank goodness. Then I’ll get ready, thanks for waking me up.”

With an approving nod, Gwaine vanished again and Merlin got ready for the day. He breathed in deeply, closed his eyes for a few seconds. Carefully, so very tenderly he reached out to his magic, making sure it’s still there and still strong. Then he leaves his chambers with new won empowerment to start the very eventful day. 

 

Negotiations were annoying. And Uther was a stubborn bitch, Merlin decided after barely fifteen minutes. How could he ask for the whole god damn forest? But then not even agree on sharing the profit?

“Uther, with all respect, how do you expect my kingdom to live and my people to eat, when you take away all our food sources?”

“I’m not taking them all away. If your kingdom relies on hunting only, then your people aren’t well fed”, Uther responded. The king’s hands were folded neatly on the table, his face showed no emotion. Alone that made Merlin angry, but he, too, was able to pull a mask over his feelings.

“It does not. But there are herbs and plants growing there, which we need for medicine. And our fields are pretty much directly next to the woods, I would not feel safe having the border so close to my people.”

“An alliance needs trust. Don’t you trust us to not attack your people?”

“This isn’t about trust. It’s about safety and comfort. Also, what makes you think I’d give you about a fourth of all the land that belongs to Essetir, without getting anything in return?”

“You would get our unquestioned loyalty and promise to come to aid in any future wars.”

“Do you not expect mine in return?”

“Of course I do.”

“Then that’s not a reason. I will not give you more than I receive. Besides, Essetir is strong and has not lost a war in many years. Your loyalty and promises are not a necessity for us.”

Uther’s cold gaze was fixed on Merlin, sending shivers down his spine. He feared now had come the time and he overstepped a line. But Uther calmly tilted his head, not making any significant move.

“What do you say, Arthur?”

Arthur, who had previously just sat at his father’s side, listening, jerked up. “In what regard?”

“Regarding the forest. What would you see as a suitable solution?”

“Uhm”, Arthur cleared his throat and straightened his back, not daring to meet Merlin’s eyes. “We could settle on receiving half of the forest and in return offer protection from all the borders our kingdoms share and aid from our physicians, especially in times of war.”

Uther nodded along in silence, watching his son shifting under his scrutinising gaze. Then he looked back up at Merlin.

“Would that be to your satisfaction?”

“I share your son’s view. If that was to be the deal, I’d accept it, though-“ Merlin paused. This was his chance. This could be the time. But wasn’t it too early?

“Nevermind. I accept.” Yes, too early. 

“Great! One thing settled then...” The rest of the negotiations were again, really annoying, but also uneventful. They didn’t decide on anything major anymore and settled on continuing the next day.

 

Never before had the air on the court yard felt so fresh. Merlin closed his eyes and savoured the cold breeze on his skin, just as a small hand tapped on his shoulder. A kid, not older than twelve looked up at him. “Sire, your horse is ready”, the boy told and gestured to another boy who just now brought out his saddled steed. “Oh, thank you very much, young man”, Merlin said and flashed a polite smile, before handing both boys a coin and then sitting up on his horse. The children gauged at him in disbelief, thanked him again and ran off, meanwhile Arthur stopped his horse next to Merlin’s. 

“Ready for a second day out?”, he asked. Merlin turned his eyes on him, which were basically glowing. “As ready as one can be”, he said and rode off, Arthur following closely.

Eventually they arrived at the lake once more, after approximately riding randomly through the woods for an hour. Merlin couldn’t help but come back here. It was, in fact, a magical place. 

They stood next to each other quietly for a few moments, enjoying the view of the lake and each other’s company. 

“So, have you been searching for a princess yet?”, Merlin asked, as he couldn’t stand the silence anymore. Arthur laughed.

“My father wants me to and undoubtedly has tried to set me up with quite a few so far, but no luck. Don’t like any of them.”

“Don’t like them because they are girls or because they are royal assholes?”

“I don’t mind them being girls - though I don’t say I’d mind if they weren’t - and they are not necessarily assholes, just... not my type, I guess.”

“And what is your type?”, Merlin asked, not daring to make it louder than a whisper, after he locked eyes with the prince.

“Hm, lets see...”, Arthur held eye contact as he stepped into Merlin’s personal space. “I am fond of dark hair. Light eyes are always beautiful and I like witty people, although they sometimes bring smartassery or even the ability to be the greatest idiot in sight. Don’t mind that too much, though, the humour and kindness usually makes up for it.”

“Oh yeah?”, Merlin breathed. Arthur was now merely inches away from his face and the king felt his cheeks heat up and his chest flutter. He knows it shouldn’t come this far, but how was he supposed to stop such a dedicated man? Especially when he didn’t want to?

“Yeah”, Arthur answered and suddenly - finally - their lips met. It wasn’t awkward or weird, not at all. In fact, it felt like they had just waited all their life to result in this moment, this kiss. Arthur backed Merlin up against a nearby tree and god Merlin never felt so good in his life. Cenred was nothing compared to him. Their hands explored each other’s bodies, their legs got tangled, it was a mess. But who were they to care? 

Then Merlin remembered who he was to care. Oh so gently he pushed Arthur away from him, leaving just enough space between them to breathe. “I’m sorry, I can’t, I shouldn’t-“, he started but Arthur cut him off with another fierce kiss. “Shut up, forget everything. I don’t care what anyone says”, he muttered against Merlin’s lips and the king wished for nothing more than to be able to do just that. “It’s not about you, Arthur, it’s me-“

“Oh good lord”, Arthur huffed and finally broke apart from Merlin. “Just say you don’t like me, but this makes it weird.” A certain kind of hurt laid in his eyes and made Merlin panic even more.

“No, Arthur, you’re taking this the wrong way! I mean it, you are great, but you don’t know me.”

“Then let me get to know you!”

“It’s not that easy, I’m entirely not the person you believe me to be.”

“Are you not Merlin, the King of Essetir?”

“I am, but-“

“Then you are exactly who I think you are. No more no less. I don’t see the issue.” Arthur crossed his arms in front of his chest in an indignant manner. Merlin grew more frustrated.

“If I tell you now what the issue is, the alliance might be in danger. I can’t risk Essetir, Arthur.”

“You wouldn’t risk it. I’m trustworthy, no soul will hear your secret from me.”

“Can’t you just let it go?”

“No, absolutely not. I finally found someone I can sympathise with after years of having to date the same kind of girl just from different kingdoms and I’m not willing to let my opportunity pass without fighting to find out where it will lead me.” Fuck, why did the prince have to be so wonderfully stubborn?

“That is the most romantic and stupid thing I have ever heard.”

“So will you tell me what the real issue is?”

“Distance?”, Merlin offered, but Arthur did not look convinced. “That’s the best lie you can come up with?”

“Fine. Fucking- fine”, Merlin growled and put down his cloak, before he pulled his shirt over his head, all the while still cussing about Arthur being tenacious. 

“Here”, Merlin rumbled eventually, as he stood in front of Arthur with his upper body completely exposed. “Both issues on display. You got it now, dollophead?”

Arthur just stared wide-eyed and open-mouthed at his exposed skin, not daring to say a word. In a careful, tender movement his fingertips brushed over the scars on his forearms, displaying runes and spells he couldn’t understand. He didn’t risk touching those on his chest. 

“What- Who- How did this happen?”, he asked in disbelief.

“That’s what happens, if one is a mildly disobeying sorcerer and married to a king called Cenred.”

Notes:

I have literally no clue how Real negotiations work, please don’t kill me lmao.
Finally some more action and tension! Hope you like it!
Thanks for reading yall!

Kudos & Comments greatly appreciated as always!
- Saturning :)

Chapter 12

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

“Sorcerer”, Arthur repeated, still staring at Merlin’s scars. That’s it, Merlin thought. He’s going to kill me right now. Or tell his father. Probably beat me up at least.

“Shit. And you decided to come to Camelot of all places, after obviously having already been through hell? I don’t know if you’re brave or stupid.”

Merlin certainly did not expect that kind of reaction, hence he only got a weird sounding “uh” out of his mouth, but Arthur didn’t seem to care.

“You’re not, I don’t know, mad? Disgusted maybe? Think I’m evil?”, he asked, which finally made Arthur’s eyes snap back up to his face, revealing a look of horror. 

“Stupid it is!”, the prince exclaimed, shaking his head. “What kind of knight would I be if I couldn’t tolerate the look of scars? And what kind of prince would I be if I couldn’t recognise a good king, sorcery or not?”

“I mean-“ Merlin was dumbfounded. Arthur took this almost too well for Merlin to handle. “I just feared you would be more like your father than I assumed.”

Arthur sighed at that. “Yeah, I believe that is fair enough. I would have been concerned, too. Hell, now I am concerned! What if he finds out?”

A mild laugh escaped Merlin’s throat as he walked back down to the shore to sit in the sun. He had missed the sun. It had been long since his skin had gotten some natural warmth. “We will find out soon enough. I’m planning to reveal myself. Just a heads up.”

“Planning to reveal yourself?”, Arthur shrieked and settled next to Merlin. “Now I am actually convinced that your brain has been stolen. Who was the last person you saw after the negotiations? Because I could have sworn you were still smart just this morning.”

“Do you really think your father would go as far as burning a king of a foreign land at the stake? Especially as it is Essetir. He knows we are a strong opponent, with or without me.”

“I don’t know, but I’d rather not risk it.” Suddenly Arthur sounded so vulnerable. The change of tone confused Merlin and when he turned to look at the prince, he was surprised to see how worried the man looked back at him. They’ve known each other for merely about two days now, why was he so worried about him?

“Hey”, Merlin said in a comforting tone. “I’m not going to get killed, okay? I know you’ve only yet seen me rather hurt and vulnerable but I promise you, I am a lot tougher and more powerful than I look. He won’t succeed in killing me, even if he tried.”

“But why risk it?”

“I can’t have an alliance with Camelot if magic isn’t legalised here. It is in Essetir and there are a lot of sorcerers and druids living among my people. If they can’t walk fearlessly through Camelot, I don’t want them to walk through it at all. An alliance is to eliminate all dangers I could face from your kingdom and gain power and loyalty. If magic is not legalised, no danger will be eliminated. I can’t have my people die at the hands of people who we called friends of Essetir. Especially if it is the King of Camelot, sentencing them to death.”

“I understand that, but my father isn’t one to negotiate about his strict morals and beliefs. I don’t want to go to war.” Arthur looked pained and so did Merlin.

“I don’t want to, either”, he admitted silently. “But if it’s for my people? I’m prepared to.”

“Honourable. You’re a good king, Merlin. I wish to not stand against you in a possible war. If... if it really is your wish, I will try to help you. Maybe I can convince my father.”

Now it was Merlin’s turn to look pained. “Please don’t, Arthur. I don’t want you to get in danger because of me.”

“How is it any different from you putting yourself in danger?”, Arthur exclaimed exasperated.

“Because this is your father we are talking about! You are the prince. If this goes wrong, my life might be in danger, yes, but that wouldn’t be the first time. I can save myself.”

“Me too! I’ve been to war, Merlin! I’m not a helpless child.”

“I know you aren’t. This isn’t what I’m trying to say. If all this goes wrong and your father knows that you’re on my side- You might just loose the throne. And that is the worst that could happen.”

“How can you say that your life might be in danger and I might loose the throne in one breath but decide loosing the throne is worse than you dying?”

“I’m not worth the risk.”

“But isn’t Essetir?”

Merlin stopped for a second. “Yes”, he said hoarsely. “That’s why I need you on that throne. If I fail, there’s a chance you’ll sit on the throne in the future and legalise magic instead. If I fail, you’re my last hope to prevent a war, or even a lifelong enmity between Camelot and Essetir.”

Arthur was quiet for a while.

“I suppose you’re right. But what do you expect of me? Do you want me to sit there and watch my father unleash his wrath and endanger you? Just stand by and watch? Because I can’t do that, Merlin. Not anymore.”

“I understand that.” Merlin’s Hand lingered in the air, before he felt brave enough to take Arthur’s hand in his own and gently squeeze it. “But this is something I must do alone.”

“Fine, I won’t talk to father in advance and I won’t do anything radical. But I will not be silent if he is going to endanger you.” Merlin tried to hide the smile that took over his farce but he did not succeed. 

“I don’t know if you’re brave or stupid”, he mumbled, meeting Arthur’s eyes with a playful smile.

Arthur chuckled and intertwined their fingers. “Probably stupid.”

Notes:

Yeah, uh, the scene still isn’t over lmao but I thought this was a good place to end this chapter. And I wanted to update so I thought they don’t always have to be so long, right?
So here you go! I hope you enjoyed it!
Also, I can’t believe it’s been over a year since I published the first chapter oh wow. Is there anyone that’s been there since 2018? Would be fucking cool
Sorry for updating so rarely by the way, school and writers block suck :(

Kudos & Comments appreciated as always, thanks so so much for reading and sticking around! Have a lovely dayyy

- Saturning

Chapter 13

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Merlin felt the many lingering looks from Arthur on his scars. The big secret was out, but he could sense that the prince wasn’t satisfied with the knowledge he right now possessed, but was too polite or maybe scared to ask. Merlin wanted Arthur to know. He knew he had to tell him in order for him to know. But it wasn’t easy to talk about it. It’s been only months since Cenred died and the mental wounds were still hurting. Starting a conversation like this one was harder than any negotiation with Uther could ever be. Lucky for Merlin, Arthur was brave enough.

“I’m sorry for my brevity, but-“, he stopped for a second. It appeared as if he was overthinking his question. “But how exactly did you get those? Obviously don’t tell me if you don’t feel like it, I’m just... wondering who had what reason to do such thing.”

“Cenred. And my teachers. A few might be battle scars but mostly they’re from them. And honestly, I think sometimes there was no reason behind it at all.” Merlin felt a wave of weird feelings all mixed together wash over his body and the worst wasn’t the fear or the sadness, it was the longing. Even after all this years of abuse, after all this manipulation and pain, he still loved him in a weird kind of way. And he missed him. And he hated it.

“I thought... I thought you loved each other? You were married, weren’t you?”, Arthur asked. He was so cautious and slow as to not startle Merlin or overstep boundaries. It was endearing, really. Merlin wasn’t used to it.

“We did. And we were. But it wasn’t much of a choice for me. The marriage, I mean. I did love him at the start, but it faded into something... that wasn’t quite real love, not in the way husbands should feel. And it was the same for him, but worse. I offered we’d let go. Of course, it would be hard, given that he was the prince and I was being trained to serve at his side, hopefully as Court sorcerer one day. But he wouldn’t agree. He kept denying that he didn’t love me and forced me to stay with him. And I couldn’t leave. Essetir was the place for me to learn to use and control my magic. Oh how I wish I hadn’t been such a fool. I should have left Essetir. Maybe come here instead. Magic may not be allowed but I could have trained nonetheless.”

“Were the teachers who did this to you, the ones that taught you your magic?”

“Yes-“

“And you still decided to stay?”

Merlin shook his head, as he tried to connect the pieces of his memories again, which he had pushed so far back into his mind as to forget it ever happened.

“No, they weren’t the same ones. When I first came to Essetir, I-“, he stopped, held his breath, then sighed. “Are you sure you want to hear this? It’s going to be rather long, I fear.”

“What kind of idiot question is that? Of course I want to hear it, Merlin”, the prince voiced exasperated. Merlin smiled.

“Well then, it started all when I first came to Essetir, I was 14 at the time. My hometown is Ealdor, but my Mum sent me away so I could learn to properly control my magic and the best place to do that were the castle grounds of Essetir. Magic was legal and they had real sorcerers there teaching students how to perform and control magic. I was amazed and the first two years it was absolutely great. The teachers were wonderful, I learned a lot and I found friends. Percy, Gwaine and Freya. I’ve seen Cenred a few times, he was the prince after all and already over 20. But it really all started when Gwaine joined the knights training with 17. Percy sadly was too weak, but he still came with me and Freya whenever we visited Gwaine at his training. Of course, it was Cenred who led the training.”

Arthur noticed how Merlin’s eyes studied the lake every time he said Freya’s name, but didn’t say anything. He didn’t want Merlin to stop.

“We talked one or two times. Then he suddenly started visiting the sorcerer training. While Freya and I practiced spells he often stood by and studied us, or maybe it was just me. We just happened to like each other. We started talking and going to the tavern and, well, it suddenly wasn’t just talking anymore. I developed feelings for him very quickly. I don’t know what he felt for me at that time. I don’t think it was love yet. Maybe just lust. But it got more serious over time and by the time I was seventeen, we were in a proper relationship. I was surprised as to see that barely anyone cared. I mean, we were two boys. Cenred didn’t have siblings. Why was everyone so okay with this? It turned out, it was because the heir had already been born and was about seven years old. Mordred was a bastard, yes, conceived not in a marriage but a drunken night out. But the people had their heir, so they didn’t really care. I was just seventeen and suddenly something like a stepdad? It was weird but Mordred was a sweet kid and I grew fond of him very quickly. The relationship we had was... okay. It wasn’t too toxic at that time, but it wasn’t too great either. Then the king, Cenred’s father, died. Cenred was devastated to say the least and he wasn’t ready to be king. I had never seen him so stressed and anxious and just overall different before. He started changing rapidly. He got aggressive fast and demanded things from me that he’d never asked for before. He got violent when I wouldn’t do his bidding and I was practically left alone to raise Mordred. It was too much for me. I was just about 19 after all. And even though it hurt me to end a two years long relationship with a suffering man, I went and tried to do it for my own health. He didn’t accept it. He went batshit crazy, threw things at me and screamed that I had never loved him, only used him and I couldn’t be so selfish and leave him alone with this. I tried to reason with him, saying I wouldn’t leave Essetir, I was still aiming to become the Court Sorcerer and we could still be friends, I could still help him out. But that wasn’t what he wanted. And then he accidentally let it slip that I was far too powerful to not be his. I didn’t understand at first, but my teachers later told me that they saw great potential in me and that they thought I might even be the sorcerer in all those legends the dragon told us about. That I am Emrys. After Cenred found out that my teachers told me about my powers, he fired them all and replaced them with stricter ones just for me personally. They were powerful, yes, i learned a lot, yes, but they were the worst. Most spells I learned from them were for battle. Suddenly learning about my powers wasn’t fun or challenging anymore. It was painful and exhausting and awful. Whenever I couldn’t remember a spell, they would carve it into my skin, so I would never forget. They chose the arms and legs specifically so I could see them. But I wasn’t about to give in at first. I still met my previous teachers so they could teach me useful but harmless magic. I went to them and the Court physician to get my wounds treated. I fought back when they tried to carve a new spell into my arm that I’ve forgotten one time. And I tried to hide all of it from my friends and Cenred. But that, of course, didn’t work out. My friends were worried, I’ve seen them less and less. And Cenred knew. Knew that I was resisting his orders. And he was scared that I would continue to do so. That I’d maybe run away even. So he did what seemed most logical to him - he proposed to me. In front of everyone. I couldn’t say no, I knew what would happen if I did. I’d be hunted down like prey. So I said yes, and we got married, but I still resisted. One time Cenred beat me up so bad, I couldn’t leave our chambers for two weeks. I couldn’t remember the last time my body didn’t hurt. Then the wars started. Cenred was greedy. Greedy for power and possessions. And I was sent to a lot of wars. As a powerful sorcerer, I was their most effective weapon. God I killed so many people, Arthur.” It was the first time since he started speaking that Merlin looked up at Arthur, tears in his eyes. Arthur felt such a deep seated sorrow in his heart but just didn’t know how to properly express it to him. Merlin was so wrongfully hurt, what could he possibly say that would make it better?

“I’m sorry, Merlin. It wasn’t your fault”, he whispered.

“At some point, I just felt like that’s what life was supposed to be like for me. Getting hurt, hurting others. Obeying. Mordred was one of the few things that kept me going. Only for his sake did I still stand up to Cenred, told him what no one else would dare to tell him. About his strategies, his plans, his way of reigning. It often brought me new scars. But it also helped the kingdom. Cenred always acted furious when questioned or criticised by me, but he still took it seriously and often changed his behaviour. So he made me his advisor. The people were confused that I wasn’t king, yes. They knew many of Cenred’s good deeds were actually my doing, but they couldn’t know better. They thought it maybe had something to do with me being a man. They couldn’t know. One time he sent me out on a mission. It was a longer one, longer than expected. We came back a week later than originally planned and it drove Cenred absolutely crazy. He told me he feared I’d run away. Leave him, like I planned to once. I, the fool I was, told him no, I wasn’t going to. That I loved him. In this weird, strange way I still did, but I was sure he only needed me for my powers. But that didn’t satisfy him. My word meant nothing to me. So he forced me to cast a spell, on myself. One that would make everyone out of Essetir immediately forget I existed. That’s why suddenly no one outside of Essetir knew that Cenred was married. That’s why Percy never mentioned me. I was never told how to lift the spell. Any book I could look it up in was locked away and every sorcerer that knew the answer was threatened with the death penalty if they ever told me. So I was stuck. Until Cenred died, that was.”

Notes:

Angst Angst Angst!!
I was so excited to finally put most of his backstory out there. I hope it makes sense and that it isn’t too weird that it’s all in one chapter. But I hope you like it! I tried my best lmao.

Thanks a lot for reading and keeping up! And happy new year to all of you, may 2020 be a blessing :)

Also a special thanks to all the people that have written or are writing comments, I read them all and feel very very appreciated and I’m so thankful, it really keeps me going! I’m just too awkward to reply to them, sorry! And obviously thanks for the Kudos as well! I love y‘all.

- Saturning

Chapter 14

Notes:

People!

I want to quickly apologise for the long wait! It’s been months since I posted the last chapter, I know, but life is a mess right now and writers block a little bitch.

Nonetheless I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart! I can’t believe how many hits & kudos & bookmarks this is still receiving!
And the comments!! I’m sorry that I don’t reply, but I promise I read every single one and I am so so so grateful for them! They really were my motivation to continue this story.

So this chapter is maybe not my best and quite short, but I needed to write it so I could get over my dang writers block and I hope you enjoy it nonetheless! It’s finally a little more fluffy!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

It was silent for a few minutes. Arthur visibly tried to process everything Merlin told him. Merlin understood that, it was really overwhelming at first. So much unknown information about a foreign deceased king, that had been known as just and powerful and good overall.

“I’m really sorry you had to go through this”, Arthur eventually spoke, sad eyes locked on Merlin.

“Don’t worry about it, it’s over now”, he replied, correcting his posture and putting on a smile. Arthur frowned. 

“That won’t keep me from worrying, the aftermath is not much easier, is it?” For a second Merlin looked crestfallen again, but quickly pushed those thoughts to the side.

“Obviously not”, he said. “But it won’t get better if I dwell on it. I gotta let it go one by one and I’ll be fine, I’m a king with royal duties after all. I can’t afford to disappoint my kingdom now.”

“I’m sure you won’t.” Arthur tried to put all the reassurance into those words, wanting to show Merlin that he was supported and going to be fine. Merlin squeezed his hand in response. He almost forgot he was holding it, it felt so natural.

“So”, Merlin broke the tension. “Now you have seen everything I tried to hide, might as well go swimming now?”

As much as Arthur was concerned about Merlin and his well being, he couldn’t resist a grin now. He kicked off his boots and jumped up, already working on pulling his tunic over his head.

“Last one in water owes a drink!”, he shouted over his shoulder. Merlin looked scandalised, and also a little drawn to his exposed upper body. 

“That’s cheating, I wasn’t even ready!”, he laughed, no real anger behind it. 

“Then better get ready!”, Arthur replied with a grin, setting off to jump in the glistering lake.

“Now you see what you receive for cheating”, Merlin shouted and the next second, Arthur was no longer running. His feet had sunken into the sand, glueing him to the very spot he stood in, barely a few feet apart from the water. 

“What! Merlin? Did you just use magic? That’s so unfair!”

The king pretended he heard nothing, just took his time to take off his clothes until he was in underwear and lazily walked over to where Arthur was forced to stand. A few inches from his chest Merlin halted, a sly grin decorating his face.

“Cheaters get what they deserve.”

“I’m no cheater!”

“Me neither, then.”

“Now that’s an outright lie. Magic is always cheating.”

“We didn’t agree on any rules. So magic ain’t forbidden in your bet. I really want a drink, you know?”

And with that he retreated until he was standing just a few inches from the shore. Then he released Arthur from his curse, and took the last step into the water.

“I won!”, he exclaimed victoriously and when Arthur came charging at him, he turned to run from the foreseeable impact of colliding bodies. He didn’t make it far into the water before Arthur caught up, easily lifted him over his shoulder and grinned at how it made Merlin flush.

“Fine, you get a Drink. But at least I still get to do this!” 

And thus Merlin was thrown head on into the water. There was barely time for him to yelp, before his body hit the icy waters and they swallowed him. Seconds later he emerged, ringing for air, but laughing still. Arthur followed him into the deeper parts, still laughing as well.

“You arse! I could’ve drowned for all you know!”, Merlin playfully accused.

“Sure you could’ve, but I wouldn’t let that happen so easily. I couldn’t let your royal highness drown and leave me to sit alone at dinner tonight.”

Merlin hadn’t been aware of how close Arthur was again until he could hear his own heartbeat. 

“Yeah, that would be horrific”, Merlin whispered, the laughter died out, but the smiles lingered. And before he knew, they were kissing again. Desperate and wet and hot and cold and fast and slow, all seemingly at the same time. For once, that annoying little voice in the back of Merlin’s mind didn’t say anything, or maybe it was just drowned out by the sensation of kissing the prince of Camelot.

Neither could tell how much time had passed, when they broke apart breathing heavily, but smiling.

“I gotta say”, Arthur broke the spell. “You are better at this than the princesses.”

Merlin groaned in response. “God only you could ruin this by comparing me to princesses. Also, of course I am, my rank is higher than theirs.” Arthur barked out a laugh and drew Merlin in for another kiss.

“‘Course you are, Sire”, he grinned into the kiss and Merlin immediately broke it to frown at the prince. 

“Oh shut up, dollophead.”

 

Time ran way too fast for their likings and soon enough they were on their way back to the castle grounds. Dinner with the King was waiting after all, even if they’d rather lock themselves in anywhere and enjoy more time alone. 

Dinner was... weird, Arthur realised. Since Merlin confessed to Arthur about his past - it felt like it had been weeks instead of merely hours - he had been relaxed to an extent Arthur didn’t know was possible for the man. Tension had drained that he previously didn’t realise was there at all. But as soon as Merlin had been back in the presence of his father, he tensed up even more than he did before. His usual relaxed but controlled manners had been washed away and in its place were nervousness and concern. Merlin appeared to be on edge during the whole meal. Morgana noticed, too, and Gwen was irritated as well, shooting a confused look over to Arthur, who just felt completely at a loss. Even Uther noticed, and that really had to say something.

“Sire, are you alright? You appear to me very... anxious today? Is something not to your liking?”

At that Merlin finally corrected his posture and regained control. “No, everything’s alright. I’m just a little tired after this long day.” 

Uther took that answer without question, Arthur wasn’t convinced. Especially because the way Merlin avoided eye contact with him was really suspicious. Still he sealed his mouth shut for now, it wasn’t smart to call him out in front of his father. He’d find him later. 

 

Later wasn’t as easy as Arthur imagined it to be. They had barely stepped outside of the dining hall, when Percival and Gwaine rounded the corner and lit up at their sight, telling they were just about to head to the tavern and if they didn’t want to accompany them. Arthur was about to politely decline, but Merlin beat him to an answer.

“Sure, the prince owes me a drink anyways.”

Arthur couldn’t turn down Merlin’s hopeful, honest smile.

“Yeah”, he said. “Let’s show our guests the tavern, Percy

Notes:

Thank you so much for keeping up with the story! I’ll try to make the wait until the next chapter shorter, but i sadly can’t promise anything in these complicated times.

So thanks for reading! Everything you want to give is hella appreciated! I love you all!

Please stay safe & healthy!

- Saturning

Edit: I reactivated my tumblr account! If y'all want to come find me, my username is saturningandturning :) (I sadly dont know how to link shit here lmao sorry)

Chapter 15

Notes:

Fuck it! I felt even more motivated and just wrote another!

Hope you enjoy!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The tavern was quite full that night. The room was filled with people, loud chatter ringing in their ears and the smell of liquor hanging in the air, but apparently none of them minded. Conventionally - or maybe because someone recognised either the king or the prince - one table freed up when they pushed through the masses; obviously they took the chance and occupied it immediately. As promised, Arthur bought Merlin his drink and all four of them began to chatter.

Merlin liked Camelot’s taverns - actually he liked most taverns, because they weren’t all that different. Which is why he liked them so much. If it wasn’t for the many unknown guests, Merlin could have thought he was back in Essetir, in the comfort of his home. This helped calm his agitated nerves and he finally allowed himself to slack on speech and posture and just relax, pretending to not see Arthur’s worried glances from time to time. Merlin felt touched, that the man noticed his change in behaviour and that it worried him, but that again worried Merlin. He was just grateful that Gwaine didn’t notice any of it tonight, so he couldn’t give him crap for it or force him to talk. But how could he when all his senses were focused on one Percival? It wasn’t quite as subtle as they thought. The stares, casual touches and even holding hands under the table wasn’t something anyone could so easily ignore, really. Except Arthur, apparently. Or maybe he just didn’t care all so much? Was that something good or bad? God, he’d give himself a headache if he continued thinking about it like that.

“Oi, you finished?”, Gwaine cut off his train of thought, pointing to his jug. “Percy and I wanted to get another round of drinks, need one?”

“Yeah, sure”, Merlin replied, biting back a comment along the lines of another round of drinks? Is that what the youth calls it nowadays?

“Me too”, Arthur chimed in, handing over his jug, too. Merlin watched the men disappear in the crowd with a smile, then turned to Arthur, just to be met with seriously concerned eyes. The internal tension rose to his throat.

“Merlin what happened at dinner tonight?”, Arthur outright asked. Wow, that man really didn’t beat around the bush.

“Uhm”, was the awkward answer he got. Merlin didn’t really feel like talking about it, even though he knew it would help. If Arthur knew what concerned him, he could assure him it wouldn’t happen with him, right? Though he had said that, too, all those months ago. Why concern Arthur with something he couldn’t change? Something that was rooted somewhere else entirely, that no one could really change, not even Merlin himself?

“That is not an acceptable answer.” The prince’s voice brought him back to reality and Merlin tried to settle on some sort of half truth.

“Just another trauma”, he said. “Don’t think about it too much. I try not to, as well.”

Arthur, however, did not plan to let Merlin off the hook so easily.

“Not an acceptable answer either, Merlin. You kept avoiding me altogether and now you’re back to being all cool about it and I just want to understand what I did wrong? Why were you suddenly so nervous that you couldn’t even look me in the eye, not to speak of holding a conversation with me? And don’t say that didn’t happen. Morgana and Gwen, hell even my father noticed. Please just tell me.”

Christ, was it really legal for someone to be so convincing? That fucking angel. He left Merlin no choice but to talk. Too easy to convince.

“Don’t blame yourself. If you need to blame someone, then blame this guy named Edwin. He was, uh, something like a short time lover, one and a half years ago. I trusted him, which, in hindsight, was a terrible decision, because he ratted me out to Cenred and you might know where that lead. The burn mark of the sigil of Essetir on my upper back actually; it was a sign of possession. And yeah, uh, I might be slightly panicking over the fact that you potentially hold all power over my secrets and could tell them to your father at any given moment? Not that I believe you’d actually do that. Just, uhm, Trauma, like I previously said. So, don’t worry about it?” The words fell from Merlin’s mouth like a waterfall, not even allowing Arthur to interject, so he just sat there, changing his horrified facial expressions every few words. 

What?”, was the final response. Merlin just shrugged.

“Don’t worry about it”, he repeated, putting on that smile that Arthur had learned to deem fake, but was so convincing he almost let the topic fall.

“How the actual fuck am I not supposed to worry about that?”

“I don’t know, but what else are you supposed to do? This doesn’t actually have something to do with you, so you can’t do anything. Hence, you shouldn’t worry about it either. I’ll surely be over it by tomorrow.”

Like a fish the prince gaped at him, at a loss of words entirely. Merlin took that as a win, mostly because Arthur had no time to answer anymore, as finally their friends were back. Merlin wasn’t surprised in the slightest to see no drinks.

“What? Do I have something on my face?”, Percy asked, when both royalties turned to stare at them in laughing disbelief.

“No, actually on your neck”, Arthur pointed out, gesturing to the places on his own neck, which were scattered with purple-y marks on Percy’s.

“There’s also a button missing on your tunic, Gwaine. And I could’ve sworn your hair looked combed before you left to get the drinks”, Merlin added, enjoying it all too much.

It was a delightful sight, two grown men, knights even, were blushing furiously and avoiding eye contact as if they were Medusa and one gaze would turn them into stone forever.

“Fuck, that obvious?”, Gwaine muttered, finding the table suddenly so much more appealing to look at. Merlin cackled.

“So another round of drinks is what the youth calls it nowadays? ‘Cause I don’t see anything drinkable you brought back...”

 

“Merlin! There you are. I wasn’t sure you’d come tonight”, Morgana whisper-shouted at the tall figure standing in her doorway.

“You can talk normally”, the other replied amused. “The spell’s already cast, no one can hear us.”

The candles lit up at once and Merlin was revealed the sight of the ward, already sitting on the floor, cross-legged in a meditation position, candles in front of hear neatly lit. Quickly Merlin got rid of his cloak and lowered himself across from his student.

“So, how far did you come?”

Morgana beamed at him proudly. “I think I found it!”, she squealed happily. Merlin nodded proudly and offered his hands.

“Show me?”, he asked, smile on his lips. Eagerly she accepted, finding Merlin’s hands. Her eyes fluttered closed and she all but concentrated on the slight tickle in her throat. She allowed it to spread, controlled, but naturally. First down to her feet until she felt it in her toes, then through her arms, so her fingers lightly tickled. Merlin chuckled faintly. Then through her head, she could feel her lips prickle and finally through the rest of her upper body, warming her chest, until eventually her whole body prickled, feeling lighter than the air around her but heavy enough to break steel forged by gods. It was still the most exciting thing, even though she had done nothing but practice this for the last day or two. Suddenly it felt even weirder. Not like the other times. Now, in addition the the prickling sensation, she again felt the light travel through her veins, like it had been the first time Merlin shared his experience of reaching out to his magic with her. But this didn’t feel like finding Merlin’s magic in his body. This felt like Merlin’s magic in her own body and it was as weird as it was overwhelmingly good. The sheer power she felt, though this couldn’t be more than a fraction of his true energy, it wasn’t describable. With this amount of raw magic, surely they could drown an entire continent and repeat the great flood. It was then that Morgana truly wondered for the first time how powerful Merlin actually was. At least so powerful, that at once she lost control over her own magic. It drew back out of her limbs, into the centre of her body and she would’ve absolutely freaked out at this, if Merlin didn’t squeeze her hands in reassurance and his magic hadn’t followed hers into her chest, forming something like a compromised ball of power.

“What are you doing?”, she asked into the quietness of the room, slight tremble hidden in her voice.

“I’m helping you find out where your powers lay”, Merlin replied in a total state of calmness. “You remember what I told you about having powers of visionary, protective, destructive and, or healing nature? I am going to help you let your powers loose in a moment, but only in your body. They will then naturally seek out the place in your body that is tied to the nature of your powers. If it’s in your head, it means they are visionary, in your hands and arms means it’s destructive, in your feet and legs means it’s protective and if it is in your stomach, their nature is healing. Are you ready to find out? I know losing control is scary, especially for the first time. But I’m here to help you and if something is about to happen, I can stop it immediately.”

Morgana hummed in thought. 

“Yes”, she replied, truly a tiny bit afraid. “I trust you.”

“On three”, Merlin announced. “One, two, three.”

It was scary, Merlin remained right. It was everywhere and nowhere at the same time, but Morgana quickly found out how to track and follow her magic until it lay calm in its place. In the end, she felt the prickling sensation all over her legs and filling her head mainly.

“I should’ve expected visionary”, she giggled in a whisper. “But protective does fit my character, too, I think.”

“Truly”, Merlin agreed. “Visionary magic is often the cause of nightmares and sleeping problems. I suspected this to be your nature, but I didn’t want to be wrong. But, overall, it is a great combination of powers. Often sorcerers with the same combination were able to change their visions and protect their loved ones.”

Morgana still smiled when Merlin pulled back, letting go of her hands and thus drawing his magic out of her body and giving back her control over her own.

“This is it for tonight”, he declared. “Next time we’ll find your triggers, that’ll be... a lot more draining than all what we’ve done previously and we need more time for that. So, we’ll leave it at that for now, if you want you can start training to let your magic loose, but keep it controlled loose, if you understand what I’m trying to say.”

“Yeah, all good, Merlin. Just get your sleep.”

“Thank you, my lady, I will. Goodnight.”

With a snort as goodbye from the ward, Merlin exited the chambers, lifting all the spells as soon as he rounded the corner.

 

 

Merlin didn’t expect his doom to come at breakfast. Doom, in this case, as in every other that Merlin could come up with on his own, was impersonated by Uther Pendragon and the worst possible announcement he could have imagined. Really. There was no worse. Nothing could have prepared him for this. He felt sick to his stomach.

 

“I have an announcement to make!”, Uther spoke in a booming voice at the end of breakfast, creepy grin plastered on his face, chest swollen with pride.

“We successfully caught a sorceress, as she was enchanting her wagon! She will be burned at sunset tonight!”

Notes:

Thanks again for reading! And for your kind comments on my last chapter! They were truly heartwarming and I’m so grateful for y‘all. Love you!

All comments, kudos and bookmarks are appreciated greatly!

Find me on tumblr if you want? Maybe I’ll take suggestions? My username is saturningandturning

Thanks again, stay safe & healthy! Much love!

- Saturning

Chapter 16

Notes:

I literally couldn’t resist to keep writing. So fuck it! Third update! Have fun, go wild!

(But stay safe and healthy)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Merlin choked on his food. No. That couldn’t be happening to him, right? This wasn’t happening. Surely Uther wouldn’t execute someone while another king was present? He’d wait, right? No of course he would. Uther Pendragon was the most hateful towards magic out of all royalty. Out of all people, probably. Maybe Merlin shouldn’t have chosen Camelot as his first alliance.

“What did she do to the wagon?”, Merlin asked, trying not to sound too hoarse.

“I think she tried to repair a broken wheel. Her neighbour saw and contacted the guard immediately”, Uther provided proudly.

Arthur cleared his throat. “Father, could I talk to you for a minute or two?”, he asked pointedly and Merlin jumped at the opportunity to leave.

“I need to take care of something, anyways. If you’ll excuse me”, he rushed out and exited the dining hall immediately after. 

 

Arthur waited until Merlin was out of sight and then turned to face Uther.

“Father, do you really think it is a good idea to execute someone while we have guests visiting? A King?”

Uther looked back at Arthur in honest confusion, as if he just couldn’t grasp why his son wouldn’t understand how great this was. 

“Of course”, he replied and Arthur had never seen more confidence in a man. “On one hand, it shows determination and success. We made magic our enemy and we are succeeding in bringing it down one by one. It also shows immense control. We take matter into our own hands and don’t wait to act on our beliefs. So why wouldn’t we? I have also thought about asking King Merlin to join us on the balcony to witness the execution first hand. It will show him that Camelot can be ruthless and powerful if need be. And that we take such matters serious.”

“But-“, Arthur started, but to be honest, he couldn’t think of anything relevant to say, that wouldn’t immediately expose Merlin or Arthur. There was nothing he could do. Hopefully Merlin wouldn’t get himself into trouble.



Thank goodness his chambers weren’t so far away. Merlin sprinted through the halls and locked himself in, before anyone could see the oh so mighty King of Essetir have a panic attack. Limbs shaking uncontrollably, he slid down to the floor, back against the door.

“Fuck fuck fuck”, he muttered quietly to himself, tearing at his hair in muffled panic. What was he supposed to do? He didn’t want to reveal himself just yet. This wasn’t the situation he had planned. But neither did he plan to witness an execution. He couldn’t listen to the screams of a witch. A witch that did nothing more than try to fix something. A wheel. A goddamn wheel and she’d be executed for it. No, Merlin couldn’t stand by and watch that happen.

He was so focused on containing the anxiety and finding a way out of this situation, that he didn’t even notice Gwaine in the room with him, until the man was crouching directly in front of him, grabbing his shoulders and shouting his name. Merlin’s eyes snapped up and out of his trance.

“Gwaine”, he whispered, then the tears started to fall. He just felt so overwhelmed.

“Merlin, Christ what happened? Weren’t you just at breakfast?”

“I- Uther, he- Sunset. Sunset, Gwaine. At sunset. Fire”, Merlin muttered horrified. Hollowing screams echoed through his head at once, fire burning him from inside. He didn’t even know what exactly he felt, was it anger, sadness? Frustration, fear? Whatever it was, it was highly unpleasant and swallowing him whole.

“What’s at sunset? What fire?”, Gwaine asked, probably for the second or third time already, as Merlin kept disassociating.

“They caught a sorceress”, he mumbled eventually, the fire inside going numb just like his head. Only the tears were still streaming down his face. “She was just fixing her wagon, Gwaine. A broken fucking wheel. And now she’ll be burned. Burned! For fixing something!”

“Really? They are burning a woman for doing something so... simple? While we’re here?” Gwaine looked just as surprised as disgusted.

“I think Uther wants to prove his power to me. But I won’t let him.” Firmly he wiped away his tears and stood up, automatically he was drawn to the window out of which he could see the pyre being build. “I think you need to talk to Percy earlier than expected, Gwaine. If this goes wrong, we won’t be here another week. Probably not even a day.”

“I don’t like this. What are you planning?”, Gwaine followed him to where he stood, all concerned.

“I’ll reveal myself tonight.”

“That’s not a good idea.”

“I can’t let an innocent woman die, Gwaine!”

“But can you risk sending your innocent people to war with Camelot?”

At that Merlin halted, his breath caught in his throat and his serious confidence just drained out of him.

“I would, wouldn’t I?”

“You would. Especially in this situation, Uther wouldn’t be pleased if you did such traitorous thing - in front of his people nonetheless. Neither of you are ready for the reveal. And he dealt with a lot of sorcerers before, who knows what he’s capable of. I don’t want to see you standing there next.”

“But she didn’t do anything Gwaine. How can I stand by and watch? What will that make me?”, Merlin whispered, guilt already nesting in his chest, dragging him down.

“It’s not your fault Merlin. This is a dilemma. But I’m sure a sorceress like her would forgive your for doing this to protect your people.”

Gwaine lay a reassuring hand on his back, though Merlin couldn’t even feel it. 

“Then I won’t watch”, he said, eyes trained on the working guards on the courtyard. “I can’t watch.”

A firm knock on the door interrupted them and Merlin took a deep breath before bidding the person to come in. The entering was Morgana with frantic steps, shutting the door just as she passed through it.

“Uther wants you to accompany him on the balcony to watch the burning tonight”, she declared, anger audibly hidden in her voice. Merlin gulped.

“Should have expected that”, he sighed, pressing his fingernails into his hands, as to not break out in sheer fury.

“But you surely won’t do that, right?”, Morgana proceeded, allowing herself to step further into the room. “You won’t let him?”

The guilt grew bigger and heavier in his chest with each hopeful step Morgana made towards him.

“I-“, he choked out. “Morgana, please understand, I really, desperately wish I could-“

She stopped dead in her tracks, staring at him in disbelief. “But you can!”, she shouted exasperated.

“If anyone can, then it’s you! You are the most powerful sorcerer I’ve ever come across and you are a King! How come that Uther scares even you?” She was angry, Merlin could tell. Fuming and scared.

“Please, listen”, he tried to explain desperately. “This is hard for me, too. I hate this more than anything in the world, but if I reveal myself, then I’m risking war with Camelot. Uther has quite the temper and if I don’t do it right, countless civilians of both sides, mine and yours, will loose their lives in a preventable war. I cannot put my people in danger like this.”

“But she is your people, too! A sorceress! Done nothing wrong! You can’t just let her die, Merlin, I beg you. I have seen so many people be burned, it is nothing I ever wish to witness again. I thought when you came that it’s all over finally, you can change this! You can stop this tonight! Save your people here, too, Merlin, please! Are you just scared that Arthur will find out? He’ll understand!”

Merlin stepped forward, taking her hands in his, meeting her eyes with honesty and pain.

“It’s not him I’m worried about, he knows anyways. I wish I could do something”, he told, squeezing her hands. “Desperately, theres nothing I wish for more than that, but Essetir has gone too war one too many times. However, I promise this is the last sacrifice under my watch. As long as I’m in Camelot and the alliance is established, there will be no more executions or sacrifices.”

Morgana growled darkly and ripped her hands out of his grip. “You’re not the man I believed you are Merlin. This isn’t necessary and deep down you know that. Don’t bother teaching me anything else, I’m done learning from someone unwilling to rescue an innocent woman.”

And thus she left, wasting not another glance at Merlin, who felt like all the misery combined.

“Maybe Camelot was the wrong place to go”, he whispered silently.

 

 

“It’s time”, Gwaine said carefully and Merlin nodded. Ever so slowly, hands trembling like they did last at Cenred’s deathbed, he put on the crown and his cloak, so his hands were hidden behind his back and no one could see him clenching his fists so hard his fingers might break. Together they made their way down the halls, way too fast did they arrive on the balcony, which Gwaine wasn’t allowed on.

“I’ll wait in the hall, I promise”, his friend assured and very reluctantly the King worked to mask his feelings of sorrow and anger and fear, in order to face its source. Uther was delighted and it made him break every scale of disgust Merlin didn’t know he could feel. These were going to be horrible moments of his life, though it was sad that it weren’t even the worst ones.

Merlin was grateful when Arthur positioned himself between him and Uther, shooting a comforting glance his way and a whisper of “I’m so sorry”. How he wished to be held by him at this moment, having his body there to ground him, keep him from falling, but he couldn’t. Not when everyone was watching. Not next to the King. Speak of the devil, Uther cleared his throat.

“It’s time!”, he hollered over the courtyard. “Bring out the sorceress and let’s burn her evil from her bones and sent her to the devil, where she belongs!”

Merlin felt numb when they brought out an anxious, skinny, but overall young woman out. She had to be maybe few years older than Mordred, maybe not even of age, yet.

“She’s so young, almost a child”, he heard himself whisper and Arthur tensed painfully, his way of silently agreeing. 

Merlin watched as the guards tied her to the wooden pole, listened as she begged for mercy. He dug his nails a little harder into the palm of his hands. And he closed his eyes, when they lit the fire, wishing he could close his ears, too, when her frantic “no, please, I promise I’ll never do anything like that again, please! I have son, please, please, let me live, let me flee, I’ll never be a burden again!” started.

And when her violently painful screams set in, Merlin couldn’t control himself any longer. This had to stop.

Notes:

Thanks for keeping up and reading! Much love to all of you!
Next chapter things are going to get heated! Hope y‘all are exited even though I never write very detailed oops

Comments, Kudos & bookmarks are as always greatly appreciated, thank you so much for all the love you give me! It is overwhelming, I really don’t deserve it, thank you!

Stay safe & healthy!

- Saturning (saturningandturning on tumblr)

Chapter 17

Notes:

I have no idea where my sudden motivation comes from, honestly. I suspect it’s your comments, though. They really make me happy!

So here, finally the relief from my mean cliffhanger! I hope you’ll like the chapter (it’s even a little longer!)
Though I couldn’t help but wonder if I might be moving too fast? Idk

Have fun reading!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

“I can’t do this”, Merlin declared, voice still hushed, but loud enough for Arthur to hear.

“Merlin, what are you saying?”, he asked, terrified of the answer he expected to get. But there was no answer, at least not one put in words. Efficiently Merlin rid himself of his cloak and climbed on to the guardrail instead.

“King Merlin, what are you doing?”, Uther asked, seemingly overwhelmed by the situation. Arthur tried to grab his arm and for a second Merlin looked back at him. Arthur had planned to stop him, keep him from whatever stupidly reckless thing he was about to do, but then he looked him in the eyes. Never had he seen pain more visible, more distressing and paired with the sudden loud screams of the burning woman, he understood and let him go. He couldn’t stop him if he wanted to, anyways.

Merlin didn’t react, just jumped off the balcony in an elegant manner, landing softly on his feet, though perhaps some magic was involved in easing the impact. The people stared.

Faintly he could hear Uther ask “What is he doing?”, but he was too occupied with the screams filling his ears.

Smoothly he pushed through the masses towards the immense heat source, the flames licking at the woman’s legs and her desperate cries pushing him to go faster. People noticed eventually when he started shouting for the, to move and made a path for him, probably more out of respect for the silver crown he wore, than because they knew he was going to help. Eventually he stood at the foot of the pyre, almost close enough to get burned himself. For a moment he panicked, what was his plan exactly? What spell was he supposed to use? Some were dangerous, for the woman and himself, some might not work and others were just too difficult to perform under this high pressure. The loud noises from everywhere did not make it easier for him to think, but this wasn’t the time to waste thoughts, he realised. This was the time instinct had to make do. So he closed his eyes and reached out to his magic, travelling with it through his veins to block out all the outside influences, he focused on nothing but his magic, the heat from the fire and the cries from the woman. The words flew naturally from his tongue, in a language he never learned, but held in his heart and he opened his eyes just in time to see the flames being sucked into the sky in a glorious orange whirlwind and vanishing. While the surrounding people stared in shock, Merlin wasted no time and climbed onto the pyre, freeing the woman from the pole as quickly as possible, which was easier said than done, with trembling hands and chains that were still cooling off from the fire. 

“Are you alright?”, he asked, taking a worried look at her burned arms and legs, but else she seemed just fine, a little shaken maybe. Or more than a little.

“Thank you”, she breathed, still ringing for air as hot tears dropped from her chin and rubbing her wrists where the chains had been, when she was finally free.

“Don’t worry about it, let me take a look at those burns, though-“

Merlin didn’t get to tend to her wounds before the booming voice filled the courtyard once more, its source obviously no one else but Uther.

“King Merlin! Explain yourself immediately!”, he called and Merlin prepared for the worst.

“Of course, Sire”, Merlin called back, straightening his posture, displaying all the pride he could feel, which really wasn’t much, but he was good at faking it. “I am King Merlin of Essetir, a land of sorcery! And I myself am a sorcerer since birth! I was planning on revealing myself as such in the immediate future, but drastic situations call for drastic matters, I fear. This woman committed no crime. She is incredibly young and merely used her magic to fix something broken, a wheel of all things! I see that the moral lies somewhere else here in Camelot, but forgive me, I couldn’t stand and watch one of my people be executed for helping herself. This is injustice and as a King I feel obligated to reveal it as such and prevent it as well.”

Never would Merlin have dreamed of rendering the King of Camelot speechless, but there he was. Stunned into silence. Angry silence for sure, Uther was visibly fuming, in absolute disbelief of the sheer amount of disrespect, or that’s what Merlin imagined it to be.

“Arrest him, he has gone against King’s orders on foreign land. Then burn the witch again”, he said eventually, no amount of any emotion and that was even worse than all the anger combined.

Now that was a little drastic, Merlin thought. No talk at all?

The guards obeyed and circled Merlin and the woman, who still stood at his side, trembling immensely and gripping onto his arm in fear.

“Does your son have a father?”, Merlin asked her and she shook her head slightly.

“Left”, she only said and Merlin nodded before turning back to look up at Uther.

“Under one condition”, he offered. “Let the woman and her son ride to Essetir. Thus she will no longer be Camelot’s problem.”

Uther lowered his gaze. “Conditions? You hold no power here, Merlin. This isn’t your kingdom and there is no alliance, doubt there ever will be. You have no authorisation to be asking for favours.”

“But I do hold power, just not politically, my Lord! I can do much more than let fire vanish and I am prepared to protect myself if need be. If you will not agree to my simple condition, I will just have to realise it myself, but if you do, I’ll let your guards put those magic restraining cuffs on me without a fight. Is there anything to loose for you, Uther?” Merlin met his gaze with his own challenging one and Uther scowled in response.

“Fine”, he spat. “Let the woman and her child go, get her to the border immediately. She is banished and will be executed on sight if she ever dared to come back.”

“Thank you, my Lord, I can’t thank you enough”, the woman cried, sinking to her knees in relief, though she was dragged up again by the guards, impatiently pulling her towards her crying son. He was just about four years old and clinging to his mother desperately, who was in return clinging to him, too.

“You will find Essetir with ease and when you arrive, please ask for a knight named Kay and tell him what happened, Mordred will take care of the rest”, Merlin promised her and she gave him the most teary but grateful smile and finally he felt the guilt lifting from his chest, allowing him to breathe, just before the guards came up and arrested him. As promised, he didn’t fight back but hissed a little when the cuffs closed around his wrists.

“Ah, magic-restraining of course. These are nice”, Merlin commented, meeting Uther with a heated stare, smile on his face. Uther did not look amused at this, neither did Arthur next to him. He felt no regret, but a little apologetic, when he met Arthur’s eyes. The poor man was visibly overwhelmed with the situation, standing lost between the two sides. Of course he couldn’t disagree with his father, Merlin knew and understood that. Arthur couldn’t risk losing the throne. But Arthur did not want to risk losing Merlin, either. It was awfully complicated. At least Morgana could forget her anger towards him, she had been right all along. Sorcerers were his people and he couldn’t let them die. None of them. So he politely followed the guards back into the castle, disturbingly aware of the hundreds of eyes following his figure until out of sight. Desperately Merlin wished to know if they were watching anger or in awe, what did the people of Camelot think about him now? A good man? A traitor? Or could they neither look past his title nor his powers?

The prison cell wasn’t comfortable per se, but he’s been through worse. What surprised him was that the guards left immediately after locking him in, not even one to guard the floor stayed. They were awfully confident about the restraining cuffs, weren’t they? Even though they weren’t made very well, the runes scratched into the metal were sluggish and the spell on them not well performed, but for Camelot they usually were enough, he guessed. The sorcerers here were inexperienced, had no clue of the power they held, not to speak of the needed knowledge to break magical cuffs like these. But for someone with Merlin’s power and knowledge, they were but a mild discomfort, now at least. He feared if he wore them longer it’d start wearing his magic down, trapping it inside his body, or worse, inside the cuffs until they are taken off. That would take a toll even on him, and he didn’t like that.

“Get your bloody hands of me!”, someone suddenly shouted from the entrance and Merlin perked up. That was unmistakably Gwaine’s voice. Shit, he forgot they’d surely arrest him, too. Quickly he sent silent prayers to any being out there that Gwaine wasn’t going to kill him before Uther got the chance. The door to his cell was opened and Gwaine pushed in. This time two guards stayed.

“Real nice”, he spat, then turned to give Merlin a deadly stare that send a shudder down his spine.

“Sorry?”, he offered nervously.

“Sorry doesn’t cut it, Merlin.”

“I know. I’m also not sorry.”

Gwaine groaned and sank down at the wall opposite of his king.

“I hate you”, he deadpanned.

“You don’t. I know I said I’d endure it this one time, but- Gwaine she was so young. She had a son. She did nothing wrong and Uther looked delighted, I just couldn’t stand still, you have to understand me.”

Gwaine groaned again, louder, and buried his face in his hands.

“I know”, he mumbled. “And I get it. I saw it through the windows and her screaming wasn’t to ignore. I was about to punch the King in the face myself, when he started laughing at her pleas. I’m glad you did it, but this outcome is just so fucking frustrating.”

“Yeah, what a way to ruin one’s first alliance, huh?” He let out a snort.

Gwaine looked up at him with raised eyebrows, failing to see the joke. Silence spread for a while.

“I promised Mordred I’d keep you safe.”

Now that took Merlin slightly off guard. “What?”

“I promised him I’d keep you out of trouble and make you take care of yourself, too, but as it seems, with you that’s just impossible.” Gwaine gave him a tired look and Merlin suddenly felt really sorry for his friend.

“Guess I have to disappoint him.”

“Ah you know he wouldn’t be. He’d have done the same, maybe an even more reckless thing. He’s pretty much you, minus the experience, a little less power and poor fucking impulse control.”

Merlin laughed quietly at that. “Guess you’re right. He got one thing from his father and that’s acting on instinct.”

“At least his instincts are better, eh?”

Merlin wanted to reply, but stopped focusing when he heard the door to the dungeons open again. Heavy footsteps made their way down the aisle, towards their cell and eventually into view came Percy, Gwaine immediately lit up.

“I’m to guard the cell, prince’s orders”, he said gruffly to the guards, who retreated without a second thought wasted. Percy waited until the door had shut behind them, before he turned towards his friends.

“Are you both alright?”, he asked and Merlin noticed that he had that same worried look to him, that Gwaine so often wore. Odd, how much they rubbed off on each other in such a short time.

“Yeah, we’re fine, thanks. Arthur send you?”, Merlin asked. Percy nodded in response.

“I mean, I would’ve lied about it and come here anyways if he didn’t, but he did, yeah. I’m pretty sure it’s so that he can visit, too, and not fear the guards will tell his father.”

At that Merlin smiled and tried to ignore his heartbeat picking up speed. This wasn’t the time for romance and swooning.

“What do you think will happen now?”, Gwaine asked Percy after a few minutes of silence.

“I’m not sure, honestly. Uther knows he can’t handle Merlin like he usually handles prisoners and traitors - which is sentencing them to death or putting him up for torture and alike. But then again... he is really angry. And Arthur has gone into some sort of shut down mode? He isn’t saying anything, really, probably waits for an opportunity to come down here.”, Percy contemplated.

“What about the citizens? For how much hate do I have to brace myself?”

“That’s even weirder. The town is silent, at least towards the castle. No one understands what the people are thinking.”

“Do you think it was stupid?”

“I think it was brave, Merlin. Reckless and maybe not necessarily smart, but an honourable act. Saving a life is never stupid.”

Merlin acknowledged this in silence and turned to look out of the small, high up window. There wasn’t much to be seen, except the roofs of a few houses and the sky.

“Hey, Percy”, Gwaine told soon after, scooting over to the bars, where Percy was sitting on the other side. “This is probably the worst situation to ask you this, but- Well. It is quite possible that Merlin and I have to leave soon. However, I don’t really wanna leave you and under no obligations am I trying to pressure you, I just- come with us? Back to Essetir? I understand if not, but... I’d love you being there with us- with me, actually.”

“We’d be happy to welcome you back and obviously you’d stay a knight”, Merlin added.

Percy contemplated this in silence for a few minutes until Gwaine grew so nervous he asked “so what do you say?”

“Gwaine, that’s hard to answer”, Percy told truthfully. “I’ve been a knight in Camelot for five years now and while Uther might not be the most likeable, I owe Arthur many things. He got me here, trained me, believed in me and made me a knight. And I’ve got friends and mates here - I don’t know if I can leave this all behind so fast. I need a little time to think this through.”

“Of course! All the time you need”, Gwaine assured him. They smiled at each other and truly, it tugged heavily at Merlin’s heartstrings.

“Stop being cute, this is a crisis”, he then intervened, grinning when his friends groaned in response. 

The door down the corridor opened once more, causing Percy to scramble up to a respectful standing position, but he visibly relaxed just seconds after. Apparently the person was someone he knew. And Merlin should remain right, arriving in front of their cell was prince Arthur himself, looking frantic and distressed.

“Ah, good, you got the guards to leave! Thank you for doing this Percy”, he said quickly, patting the much taller and broader man awkwardly on the shoulder.

“Thanks for giving me the job”, Percy replied, shooting a quick glance over to Gwaine.

Then Arthur turned towards the cell.

“Merlin”, he said, emotions hidden, which Merlin couldn’t define but sent a shiver down his spine . “I- this is trouble. All of this. What were you thinking?”

Uncomfortably the sorcerer rubbed at his metal cuffs, avoiding to look the prince in the eye.

“You know what I was thinking”, he noted. “You saw and you approved - why are you withdrawing your approval?”

“I’m not, it’s just- This is complicated. I completely understand your reasons and truly it brings honour on you, but by the gods why didn’t you do something in secret? Or revealed yourself earlier, not in front of the whole courtyard? Father is really angry about the fact that his citizen were present while you undermined his authority.” Arthur began pacing up and down in front of the bars.

“What’s he planning to do with us?”

“I don’t know! And he doesn’t either just yet, but you probably won’t be facing death. After all you are a king and I doubt that my father would be stupid enough to kill a king, while he’s here on a political visit, to form an alliance. But- and I hate to say this - he is contemplating to have Gwaine killed instead.”

What?”, came it from all three listeners immediately in shock.

“He thinks it could be a good lesson for a new king. I tried to tell him you’re not particularly new in the whole king business, but he wouldn’t listen to me.”

“What reason could he possibly name that would validate killing my head knight?”, Merlin questioned angrily, getting to his feet. Gwaine had gone quiet in the meantime, just reaching out to grasp Percy’s hand.

“Something like aid in a traitorous crime?”

“But he wasn’t even involved!”

“You don’t have to tell me that! I know it’s stupid, but he just won’t listen to anything I say. Maybe, if I can get Leon or Morgana or Gaius to talk to him, too, he might see sense...”

Arthur stopped pacing at once.

“Okay, I promise neither of you will die, alright? I- I’ll find a way to convince my father. No one dies. I got this. I’ll get back to you.” He shot Merlin one last meaningful glance. “I’ll get back to you.” It was a promise, deeper than the words were giving away. Then the prince vanished, as fast as he came. Merlin didn’t even have the time to thank him. Or apologise. Or swoon.

“Gwaine?”, Percy interrupted the sudden silence.

“Mh?”

“Fuck it - I’m in. I’ll go back to Essetir with you. If you come out of this alive, hell - I’d follow you anywhere. I love you and I won’t let you fucking leave me again for god knows how long. I don’t think I can do another four years of separation. And it’s not like Essetir is bad - especially with Merls here King. So yes, I’ll follow you. I’ll go with you.”

Gwaine just stared. Simply stared at the man on the other side of the bars that were separating them, but he was clutching his hand in disbelief. Merlin watched with muffled joy.

“You-“, Gwaine started, his mouth agape and stumbling over his words. “You- Percival. You said-“

“I did.”

“We never said-“

“Now I did. It’s the truth, Gwaine, why not say it? I do fucking love you. And even though Arthur already promised you won’t die, I’d still promise to safe you, because fuck, do you know how worried I was every single time I heard of Essetir going to war? I don’t want to risk standing on opposite sides in the next. Essetir is still my home and I’ve missed it dearly, too. But it’s just a bonus. I love you. And I want to be with you. Wherever that is possible. And if that’s not Camelot, then that’s how it is. Then I’m leaving.”

“These bars are the worst”, Gwaine answered, a beaming smile on his face. “I’d love to fucking kiss you right now, because I love you, too, dumbass. And I can’t wait to take you back to Essetir. And I love you. God, I love you.”

Possibly, maybe, just maybe did Merlin tear up a little at the sight of his two best friends since childhood confessing their love to each other. And maybe he now wished even more that Arthur had stayed, at least for a little while longer.

At least he promised to come back to him

Notes:

Thanks for reading my loves! I love you!
But I’ve been wondering if I am moving too fast with the plot sometimes? Or do you think this is accurate? I feel like my scenes are a little short sometimes and don’t have enough detail? Please tell me what you think!

Comments & Kudos and bookmarks are all immensely appreciated and motivating for me! Thanks so much for the love!

Stay safe & healthy!

- Saturning (saturningandturning on tumblr)

Chapter 18

Notes:

Damn 18 already, huh?

Well, from now on it will probably take me longer to finish a chapter with studying and all, but I still try to do it fairly quickly.

Now have fun reading!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The night had quite frankly been the worst Merlin had in a hot second. Falling asleep had been hard enough itself, but the dreams were way worse. Horrible screams and oceans of blood filled them and the ever present crusty voice of a dead man, telling him he fucked up. Assuring him that he risked everything and lost it, too. There’s no way out of this. It should feel known to Merlin by now, but every night there’s a twist he didn’t expect. Every night he says something else and Merlin can’t handle it. And this night, this night the screams came from a familiar voice. They weren’t soldiers or comrades or citizen. They were from Gwaine. Painful and dying. Because of him. Then the screams became visual and Merlin was offered the sight of Gwaine burning, then him bleeding out, where his throat was cut open and choking, then his already dead body, the head laying just in front of his feet, eyes opened in fear and blame, piercing through Merlin.

Gasping and shaking he finally woke up. It was probably late at night. Gwaine was sleeping and so was Percy, their hands were linked through the bars. It was immensely calming seeing them both alive and together at this moment, but Merlin’s panic was still present as ever.

“This wasn’t a vision”, he whispered to himself, rubbing his burning wrists. “This wasn’t the future. Just another nightmare. Everything is alright. Cenred is wrong and also dead. His voice is a hoax from my own mind. Gwaine is okay. And he’ll be fine. And I will be fine, too. And Essetir. Everyone and everything is going to be fine. Fine. Just fine.” He kept on telling himself these things, repeating the mantra, as he tried to think of a way out of these horrible magic-restraining cuffs, without breaking them, so he could put them back on, when he didn’t feel as exhausted and drained. The cuffs did a better job than Merlin thought they would, besides having been made only partly well. They efficiently absorbed any magic Merlin subconsciously gave off in his sleep. And they kept slowly draining it out of him even as he wasn’t using it. This wasn’t a good sign. Actually it was the worst. If he stayed calm, maybe he had another day before he’d pass out. In the worst case, he’d pass out by morning and if they weren’t taken off then, he’d be dead by the night. As powerful and rewarding it was, having magic running through your veins and keep you alive was dangerous and right now, the absolute horror. If taken from him, he’d die. Magic was like his blood, the cuffs being an infected open wound. He was, practically, slowly bleeding out. 

Going back to sleep wasn’t an option. If he had to see Gwaine dead one more time, he’d surely just break out and make a run for it. But that wouldn’t solve anything, rather make it worse. So he sat still, glancing over to his best friend every other second and if it was just to make sure he was still breathing.

 

Morning came and Merlin didn’t mention the relief he felt when Gwaine and Percy stirred and woke up. When they asked him if he slept okay, he lied, even though he knew Gwaine wouldn’t buy it. But no one said anything and they waited in silence for what was to come.

They didn’t have to wait too long, as it seemed. The doors to the dungeons were thrown open maybe half an hour later and striding in came the King of Camelot, followed by his son and another knight. They halted in front of their cell, next to where Percy stood, trying to mask his fear with a neutral face. Merlin followed his example, straightened his back and calmed his nerves; a desperate attempt to still look regal and powerful. If it worked? He had no idea.

“King Merlin”, Uther started with narrowed eyes looking down at him. “I have decided your fate. But before that- I want a question answered.”

“Whatever you ask for, my Lord. My honesty is promised”, Merlin replied, maintaining eye contact as he stood up from the floor to be on one level with the King.

“Good, I wouldn’t have expected anything else. What are your intentions?”

The others kept silent while Merlin contemplated his answer.

“I guess you’re asking for my intention with Camelot? I originally came to form an alliance, and that hasn’t changed. But I also came with a condition, that must be fulfilled before I would accept it. And that is magic being legalised. I want to prevent war, Uther. War in every aspect and between everyone. Be it our kingdoms or the war you declared on sorcery. As a sorcerer myself that is quite important to me, but I’m sure you already guessed that. Now if you referred to my overall intentions as a king and towards other kingdoms, then my ultimate goal is to form a united land, a kingdom named Albion that is to spread peace and harmony and unite all people. Surely you heard of the prophecies? Of a man named Emrys and his dragon, uniting the kingdoms to form Albion?”

Uther stared at him as if he saw a ghost. “And you are Emrys, I take?”

“That’s who I am, yes.”

“Excuse me, dragon? Did I hear that right?”, the knight suddenly chimed in, earning him an aggressive “Elyan! Not now!” from Arthur. Merlin prevented his own smile. Kilgarrah would be delighted to hear about this... and laughing at him, too, for being in this situation.

Uther cleared his throat. “This doesn’t effect my decision”, he declared.

“King Merlin of Essetir, I hereby challenge you to a duel.”

That was a surprise. A duel between two kings was rare.

“What are the stakes? What if I refuse?”, Merlin promptly countered.

“If you lose the duel, Camelot takes over the whole forest and the village right behind it, you are banished from Camelot to never return and your knight will lose his life.”

Merlin felt protest rising in his chest immediately. Gwaine wasn’t a fucking prize-

“Should you win, then this whole thing will be forgotten completely, and you can return home, no damage done. The duel will be without magic, which means the cuffs stay on.”

“And what if I refuse?”, he questioned, because really. Those conditions weren’t fair to him, were they?

“No need, he’ll do it”, Gwaine suddenly said, eyes locked on the King of Camelot.

Shocked Merlin stared at his headknight. Why would Gwaine say that? This is about his own life and by god he had to know that Merlin was no swordsman. Merlin barely won against Gwaine without his magic and Uther surely was a well trained swordsman, just like his son.

“Gwaine, what do you think you’re doing?”, he hissed at his friend.

“The only rational thing”, Gwaine replied, undeniably calm, which worried Merlin even more. But he was right, anything else wasn’t going to work.

“Alright, yes I accept your challenge. And I will keep wearing the cuffs, but if I could ask for just one thing- it is supposed to be fair after all. Let me use my own bow to fight with. It is not magical, you can have it checked throughly.”

“I will”, Uther answered with a nod, his face still grim. “It will take place at noon. You will get out in time to get ready for the duel.”

With that the king turned on his heel, walking out with his head held high, followed by the knight - Elyan, if Merlin heard correctly. Only Arthur hesitated for a few seconds. He had yet again this look of pain on his face and Merlin started to feel guilty about causing it so often. Maybe he should have stayed away from Arthur after all. But how was he supposed to, when the prince so actively searched for him, his presence, his body. He had listened to Merlin, properly, and not pitied him. But he worried. And Merlin felt guilty.

“It was the best I could do”, Arthur eventually muttered. “I’ll try to be the one to get you out in a few hours. Just- you both survive until then, yeah?” And thus he was gone, too.

Yeah, Merlin thought as he stared down at his cuffed wrists, still slowly drawing the life out of him. Survive.

Notes:

Thanks for reading! And for all the very very kind comments! I love y’all.

As always, kudos & comments are greatly appreciated! Thank you!

Stay safe & healthy in these trying times!

- Saturning (saturningandturning on tumblr)

Chapter 19

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

“What the actual fuck were you thinking just agreeing to this?”, Merlin hissed, when he was sure Arthur was out of earshot. Gwaine rolled his eyes.

“You know as well as I do that Uther wouldn’t have negotiated about any of this, certainly not about my life. I trust you, I know your skills. You can win, I’m sure.”

“Well I’m not so sure. I can barely win against you and you lost against Arthur! Which then means that maybe I’d be on the same level as Arthur, and worse, Uther has even more experience. If he was the one training his son - then he might as well be an exquisite swordsman. Which brings me to my next point: I’m not a swordsman! How the fuck am I going to fight in a duel against Uther with a bow?”

“Keep your distance. And your bow is metal so it will serve as a defensive weapon, too, you can block his blows.”

“No, I know that. It’s not the first time I’ve fought without magic, but- we just need a plan B. Because I certainly can’t allow you to be killed.”

Gwaine sighed and rubbed his hands over his face, while Merlin stood arms crossed and mad. Both had almost forgotten that Percy was still there, until he raised his voice.

“Merlin from what I still know about you - you like to play it safe. Which is ironic, really, considering you’re sitting in the dungeons, but this time I am afraid it won’t work. I mean- in the worst case I am more than prepared to fight for Gwaine’s life even if it gets me banished. But this will have to be improvised, there isn’t anything we can prepare for. Just... trust yourself a little more.”

For the first time since Cenred died, Merlin longed for his guidance. For the first time since his death he was deeply and truthfully afraid. With his magic locked away and Gwaine’s life on the line he felt helpless and weak. Cenred wouldn’t have let himself be handled like this. There’d be a war before there would be time in the dungeons. And surely he would’ve won against Uther in a duel. Merlin felt like nothing without his magic. It was all he was. What if the cuffs worked too well? What if his calculations were wrong? What if he passed out before the duel could even begin? What if no one knew what to do? What if... he had to die?

No, he told himself firmly. This couldn’t happen, he wouldn’t allow it. Mordred was counting on him to come back. To lead and teach him and, most importantly, not leave him alone.

“I just got to trust myself a little more”, he repeated quietly to himself, nodding, mind already wandering to the duel. He could do this, right?

 

The sun was already high up in the sky, when Arthur, true to his word, came to fetch them from the dungeons.

“I am very sorry for this”, Arthur told as he closed the shackles around Gwaine’s wrists. “It’s truly ridiculous, but you’re the prize kind of and, well. King’s orders. I think he’s scared you’ll intervene.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment”, Gwaine answered, still smiling. How was he still smiling? Merlin didn’t feel like smiling.

Merlin hadn’t realised how much he had missed the fresh air outside. Maybe sitting in a dark dungeon for a day felt too familiar for him to notice.

Putting on armour felt wrong. It was heavy and if his exhaustion didn’t drag him down then the metal definitely was. While Gwaine was sitting in his tent with him, he was still in shackles so Arthur had send another knight to help Merlin out. By now Merlin felt like he met almost every knight there was. This man was the one Gwen had mentioned as her boyfriend and if Merlin didn’t have his eyes fixed on the prince of Camelot and hadn’t known he was taken, he would’ve fallen hard, immediately. Lancelot was handsome and kind and apparently perfection in person.

“Gwen told me a little about you, my Lord. She’s convinced you’re good, which means I think that, too. She has a good sense when it comes to people”, he explained as he reached for Merlin’s bow in order to give it to him.

“That’s really nice to hear”, Merlin answered and felt the tiniest bit of weight lift from his chest. “Sadly, Uther doesn’t share her views.”

“A shame Arthur can’t take over yet. We’re all still here only because of him mostly.”

“I’m sure he’d be a good king”, Merlin stated, not even aware of the smile that crept onto his face at the mentioning of Arthur.

With his bow in hand he made his way out of the tent and over to the training fields. Knight’s training was taking place, too, so Merlin wouldn’t be disturbed or stared at, when he did some experimental shots with his bow. It’s been a few days since the last time he used it and a few months since he had to fight with it. The first shot was a direct miss. No wonder, when his hands were shaking like leaves in the autumn wind. Fucking cuffs.

“Are you alright?”, Lancelot asked him. Merlin hadn’t realised that the man had followed him here, though it did only make sense.

“I have to be”, he answered mindlessly, not bothering to lie about it.

“Maybe you shouldn’t fight if you don’t feel well enough.”

“A noble request, but I don’t have that option right now.”

“Uther wants a fair fight, doesn’t he?”

“Yes, that’s why he wouldn’t allow it if I asked for my cuffs to be taken off. I doubt he’d believe me if I said they were causing me pain and a promise to not use magic besides taking them off will mean nothing to him.”

The second shot missed, but got closer.

“Are they are really causing you pain? I’ve never heard anyone say that before.”

“And that’s why he won’t believe me when I say it. As a matter of fact, they are. But I fear that’s too complicated to explain now. I appreciate the worry, though. I see why you and Gwen go well together.”

Lancelot laughed softly. The third shot hit the target just a few inches away from the middle.

“There it is”, the King mumbled to himself, getting ready to shoot again, but getting distracted by the blond male entering his view.

“It’s time”, Arthur declared in a careful tone. “Give us a minute, Lance? I’ll bring him down in a moment.”

The knight nodded understandingly and walked off, leaving Arthur and Merlin alone on the field.

“Sorry, I just- I still couldn’t talk to you alone since what happened. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Arthur. Just worried and nervous that’s all. I can’t believe my first attempt at forming an alliance is ending in a duel that decides over the life and death of my headknight.” Merlin let out an ironic snort, but still avoided Arthur’s eyes. They were too kind and worried for him to handle right now. 

“None of this is actively your fault, you know that, right?”

Merlin didn’t answer, because it wouldn’t be the truth. He couldn’t complain now, it was already much too late. So instead he took a deep breath.

“Doesn’t matter anymore, it is happening regardless. It’s time to go, isn’t it?”

Arthur looked unconvinced, as if there were words lying on his tongue, but he didn’t dare speak them. So they walked in heavy silence. The way to the field appeared longer than normal and Merlin began to have trouble hiding his shakiness, keeping a regal stance and posture, though his knees were weak and he just wanted lie down and sleep for an eternity. Maybe never wake up.

At last Arthur grabbed his wrist right before they entered.

“Good luck”, he said, eyes trained on his own. “I believe in you.” And with that he was gone, leaving Merlin to his fate. It shouldn’t bother him this much, his lack of presence.

It was loud when he entered the field usually preserved for tournaments. The apparently endless rows of people staring down at him and Uther, who had already waited for him, were quite a view. Merlin shivered when he caught sight of the polished armour, clearly used over decades. That was an experienced man. His grip automatically tightened around his bow.

“I hope you know that I didn’t want this”, he told, as he got into position across from his opponent, trying to block out all the eyes looking down at him. Were there always so many people? He supposed not, but this was between two kings after all. Something you do not see regularly. Maybe even just once in a lifetime.

“Hard to believe”, Uther snarled and lifted his sword, ready to begin.

“It’s not too late Uther, we can still call this off and find a peaceful solution.”

“Are you scared, King Merlin?” That’s what sent Merlin over the edge. He felt himself grow cold, as he took out an arrow, raising his bow. The question was left unanswered, but Uther understood just fine. He himself wore a determined look, like a hunter that drew blood from its prey. And Merlin hated that look, because that’s how Uther truly felt about him. He was nothing more than prey - to be hunted and taken down, killed for pleasure. He didn’t doubt that in a rueful accident, Uther would kill him right here, in front of everyone. Not that he had a chance. At least that’s what Merlin told himself.

Uther made the first move. Did the duel start already? Merlin didn’t even hear the announcement, maybe he had been too far gone in his own mind yet again. He had no time for that now, as the King came surging forward, ready to strike. The first blow he dodged. The second, too, and the third he blocked, by using the metal side of his bow as a makeshift sword. Bringing distance between himself and the King proved to be more difficult than he anticipated at first. For every step he took back, Uther took one, even two steps forward. The first arrow he managed to shoot missed terribly. He’d feel shame, if he wasn’t so occupied with the not ever stopping attacks. The sound of metal hitting metal was ringing in ears, loud and shrill and uncomfortable. His body got seemingly more mad at him for still fighting with the cuffs on, not giving in to the tiredness resting in his bones. The second arrow missed, too, thanks to his shaking body.

“Aren’t archers supposed to hit their targets?”, Uther drawled in between blows, an ugly grin draped on his face.

“If that is your wish, Sire, gladly”, Merlin answered in a breath, managing to land a kick at Uther’s chest, who in response staggered a few feet back. Merlin used this chance and shot another arrow, this one didn’t miss, but one couldn’t quite call it a hit, either. It got stuck in Uther’s chainmail, barely reaching his skin. Maybe he got a scratch, but it certainly did no good.

Merlin’s magic, too, was fighting from the inside and it made everything much worse. It overwhelmed his senses, and drained him even more when it was rapidly sucked into the cuffs. The one second he had to concentrate on not passing out right then and there, Uther used. He was in front of Merlin in a heartbeat and the next thing the felt was sharp pain in his shoulder.

Fuck, Merlin thought, dodging yet another swing, tumbling backwards to bring distance between them. This has to end soon or I’ll pass out before Uther can make me.

True to his word, Merlin used the next chance he was offered. The arrow pierced through his leg and while he groaned in pain for what could have only been a second, Merlin took the opportunity to kick the sword out of his hand, then buried his elbow in his stomach, sending him backwards. Another sweep at his feet and the king lay on his back. Before he could do so much as move, Merlin had picked up the previously disarmed sword in a swift motion and pointed it at his throat, as he lay bare and unarmed to his feet. Both breathed heavily as they held this position of clear power, coming from Merlin towering over the glorious King Uther.

“I win”, he declared loudly after finally catching his breath, lowering the sword first, before letting it slip out of his hand, rather involuntary. Faintly he thought he made out a rattling sound from where Gwaine had been seated, his shackles must have been opened. Merlin immediately looked down to his own, the cuffs still burning his wrists. Great, that probably meant two new scars for his collection.

“Get them off”, was the last thing he mumbled, then his legs and bones no longer held him upright, the magic too much worn down. He fell to his knees, groaning in pain. The adrenaline from earlier was wearing off and all that was left was pain. Absently he remembered his shoulder being wounded, but to be fair, the magic tearing him up from the inside, was a little more distracting.

He fell into darkness.

Notes:

Thanks for reading everyone! I hope I did the fight justice, I’m not particularly well at writing those kind of scenes? Doesn’t matter, I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless!
Also thank you for all your frequent comments! They are really sweet!

Oh and idk if my writing style is interesting enough, but if any of you want to request something for me to write, I’d love to try it! Here or over on my tumblr (saturningandturning) I don’t care, it’s just an offer!

Thanks again! All comments & kudos that you want to give are greatly appreciated!

Stay safe & healthy!
- Saturning

Chapter 20

Notes:

Can’t believe this is already the 20th chapter... wow

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Arthur felt a lot of things he shouldn’t feel. For example shouldn’t he feel absolutely overjoyed at the sight of his father defeated on the ground, an arrow buried in his leg and threatened by a blade to his throat. But he couldn’t help it and it really wasn’t his fault. His father kind of deserved it, and probably much more than just that. He also noticed Morgana’s joy next to him, though she, too, tried to mask it at least a little bit. Gwaine and Percy did not mask their happiness. The shackles were opened immediately by the larger knight, who Arthur gave the key to - obviously just because he was so trustworthy. Not that he could help his lover flee in a worst case scenario, of course not. Arthur wouldn’t dare.

“I won’t die!”, Gwaine exclaimed, embracing his partner closely.

Arthur should also not feel as horrified as he did, when Merlin’s body went limp and he sank to the ground, not moving at all.

“Oh my god, but he is”, Gwaine then added onto his exclaim, definitely scared. Now Arthur was sent into full blown panic. When Gwaine, Merlin’s best friend that always seemed to know what was up and what to do, was scared, then it was serious.

“No, he can’t”, Morgana breathed and Arthur turned a tad surprised. He hadn’t realised that her and Merlin had gotten close, too.

The people held their breaths, when Gwaine jumped to help his King, rushing over the field to where Uther was slowly sitting up and Merlin laid. 

“Fuck, Merlin!”, he heard Gwaine shout, as he was pulling the man’s lifeless body halfway into his lap. “Shit, what have you done?” He looked up to scowl at Uther, who, to Arthur’s surprise, seemed to be as wholeheartedly confused as he was annoyed by the situation.

“I haven’t done anything, the shoulder wound wasn’t critical”, Uther defended himself, glaring holes into Gwaine, as if he was the source of all his troubles.

Then why is he dying?”, the knight hissed back. The world went spinning around Arthur, when Gwaine said those words. He couldn’t be dying, could he? Wasn’t he too powerful for that? Surely a wound like this could not kill a sorcerer of his status? A king?

“Oh my god, it’s the cuffs”, someone muttered to Arthur’s far right. He turned to see Lancelot, looking horrified at first, then rushing onto the field, too, calling out for Leon in the process.

Arthur didn’t understand at first. What was with the cuffs? Why calling Leon? What the actual fuck was happening? 

Everything started to click into place, when Leon rushed in, too, holding the keys to Merlin’s magic-restraining cuffs.

“The cuffs?”, he heard Gwaine repeat and a second later his face lit up understandingly.

“Shit, I should’ve known it’s because of that. Fuck”, he said, watching with a sense of urgency, while Leon fumbled to open them. Uther looked on with sort of disagreement or disapproval. He probably wasn’t happy that knights of Camelot had so quickly jumped in to help the foreign king.

Eventually the cuffs were off, revealing dark red burn marks where they sat skin-tight before. Arthur felt sick seeing them, aware that they’d sooner or later turn into scars, reminding Merlin forever of his first experience in Camelot and it’s rather unpleasant ending. Which is very nice put, considering that he was having a near death experience right now. 

“Is something happening?”, Morgana asked breathlessly, clenching the armrests of her wooden chair. If Arthur hadn’t known that Merlin was gay, he would’ve suspected him and the ward to have an affair, since Morgana was awfully worried about him, maybe even as much as Arthur was. Which was weird, considering that she hadn’t spent a lot of time with him, at least not that Arthur knew. And he thought he knew quite well, as him and Merlin had been together most of the time in the last few days, either at the negotiations or outside in the lower towns, woods and at lake Avalon. Desperately Arthur wished to go back to that day right now, where all was fine and he got to snog the king without worrying someone might see. How had it gone to shit so quickly?

About three minutes had gone by and nothing was happening. The silence in the arena was deafening to a point that Arthur would’ve rather heard people laugh or cry or maybe his father shout in anger. But even Uther was silent, at a loss. A situation like this wasn’t easily handled. Uther never planned to have Merlin die, not here in Camelot at least. It would only cause anger from Essetir towards Camelot and as much as Uther was stubborn, he wasn’t dumb. He knew that a war against Essetir would not end well, especially now since they knew that Essetir uses magic. No wonder they haven’t lost a war in years.

“You honourable idiot”, Gwaine sounded horribly choked up, still holding his best friend. This got at least Percival out of his trance and he quickly made his way over. If it was for his or for Gwaine’s support, Arthur couldn’t tell.

“He’s not waking up, nothing’s happening and his breathing is getting less, I am getting him to Gaius”, Leon announced after another silent minute passed and as he was about to lift Merlin from the ground, the man gasped for air.

Arthur hadn’t realised his body being so tense and his hands clutching the fabric of his cape, until the relief from seeing Merlin breath washed it all away and allowed his muscles to relax a little. He was overcome with the sudden urge to sprint over and hold Merlin, feel his pulse, make sure he’s okay. Maybe kiss him. But he knew he couldn’t do that. Not here, not in front of all the people. After all he promised Merlin to not risk his throne.

Morgana, too, breathed in relief, whispering a silent “thank the gods.” Arthur wholeheartedly agreed.

He was aware he was staring now, while Merlin sat up with the help of the knights surrounding him and he heard him say a very weak thanks, assuring that he was alive and okay.

Gwaine pulled him into a bone crushing hug and Merlin winced a little, but relaxed into the embrace nonetheless.

“Idiot”, he said. “Don’t scare me like that ever again. I thought you were dying.”

“I was, but it’s fine now”, Merlin replied solemnly, accepting Leon’s offered hand to be carefully pulled into a standing position. Arthur saw Merlin almost falling again and he was definitely sure the man was still in pain, but he held himself. Regaining posture and power, though counting on Gwaine to support him.

“Congratulations to whoever made those cuffs”, the King told, eyes holding Uther’s still confused gaze. “They were quite effective. Drained almost all the magic out of me. But they are kind of weak. In the beginning, they aren’t a threat at all. You should tell whoever made these that they should make them less breakable.”

Uther acknowledged this with silence. What else was he supposed to say? He doesn’t even remember the person who made them. Already ashes.

“But I believe I won this duel, so we will be collecting our things in a moment and be on our way back to Essetir, soon.”

Before anyone else could protest - and a lot of people looked like they wanted to, including Arthur - Gwaine interrupted.

“I really don’t think that’s a good idea”, he said, eyes narrowed and very aware of the fact that he was the only thing keeping Merlin on his legs. “You are in no condition to make the ride back to Essetir.”

“I agree”, another voice chimed in, to very much everyone’s surprise. Uther himself was now standing, though he, too, had to lean on Leon, after all there was still an arrow buried in his leg.

“I am a man of my word. I promised that if you’d win, no harm would come to either of you. But now it appears you have let yourself purposefully be harmed just to make the fight fair and I respect that. The least I can do is insist you stay another night. It isn’t too uncommon for bandits to attack people in the woods and I’d hate for you to die here after winning so justly. Essetir shouldn’t lose another king.”

Honestly, Arthur didn’t know how to feel. The pool of emotions growing in his stomach was confusing and there were too many to even list them off. What was Uther’s plan? It wasn’t like his father to just be... nice. Do something because it is right and thoughtful and helpful. Did he have some background thoughts? A plan? To kill Merlin in his sleep when he was weakened, perhaps?

“Thank you, Sire. I will accept your kindness”, Merlin said and smiled. It wasn’t forced, Arthur realised. Merlin was honestly grateful towards Uther. Could all of this get more weird?

Notes:

Thanks for reading y‘all!
I really enjoyed your fears of Uther just straight up using the situation for his advantage lmao but I am actually not THAT cruel. anyways, I hope you enjoyed!

As always, your comments and kudos keep me alive and are very appreciated.

Love y‘all, stay safe & healthy!

- Saturning (saturningandturning on tumblr)

Chapter 21

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Merlin had never been so grateful to be the King and having been gifted the most comfortable guest chambers there was. After his shoulder wound had been treated by Gaius, Gwaine had brought him to his bed and helped him sit comfortably. Still his whole body was burning as if he had been set on fire at the stake, but it got better by the minute. Honestly, he was just happy to be alive at this point.

“This bed is way too comfortable. I don’t think I can ever stand up again”, he murmured, voice tired. Gwaine answered with a short laugh.

“Too bad you’ll have to tomorrow”, he said, then fell suspiciously silent. As if there were words itching in his throat but he didn’t quite know how to lay them out. 

“I-“, he started but quickly stopped. “You really scared us today, Merlin. A lot of people. I don’t even know how you did that so quickly, but Camelot’s knights are practically yours, too. Or, well, at least Percy, Lancelot and Leon seem to be. Not to speak of the prince and the ward, who, too, were praying for your life from a distance. Arthur especially. But that’s not the point! The point is that it was stupid. And reckless. And I- I was really scared you were going to die.”

Merlin watched his friend shift with unease, eyes downcast.

“I’m sorry”, Merlin simply said. “I didn’t mean to worry you. I’m glad though, that Lancelot remembered what I said about the cuffs. I would’ve hated to die here.”

“You really did worry me. You’re a king, Merlin. You can’t just do that. I know you don’t want to believe me when I say this but- if something like this happens again, you must either risk war or risk my life, but you can’t risk yours like that.”

This sent a sudden burst of confusion, frustration and anger through Merlin.

“What are you saying?”, he growled. “You want me to put my life above yours? Should I have just broken the cuffs beforehand?”

“That’s exactly what I’m saying. You aren’t disposable. Essetir needs you more than she needs me.”

“But I need you, Gwaine. This isn’t negotiable.”

The knight grunted in frustration and let his head fall in his hands. “I don’t have a chance to convince you, do I?”

“Not in the slightest. I’d do it again in a heartbeat if it meant saving someone else”, Merlin agreed. “Now go and see Percy, I know you need him now. I’ll be fine.”

“I really don’t want to-“

“It’s fine, I can look out for him in the meantime”, a third voice entered their conversation from the door. Merlin’s heart skipped a beat when he recognised Arthur and his radiant smile.

Gwaine was still reluctant to go, but eventually agreed, because Merlin knew he was right. They needed each other and even though Merlin was okay now, he knew that Gwaine was still worrying and Percy probably was the only person that would get him to stop.

The door closed and Arthur carefully stepped further into the room, until he arrived next to the bed. Merlin really wished he could do more than gesture a little, but any kind of movements set his insides on fire. So he remained silent, while the prince allowed himself to sit on the edge of his bed. There was it again. The look of pain on his face. Merlin desperately wished he could get up and wash it all away with a kiss.

“Don’t look at me like that”, he told instead.

“Like what?”, Arthur countered.

“Like I’m dying.”

“But you were.”

“Not anymore. I am fine, through and through, just exhausted.”

“I’m just.. scared”, Arthur admitted. Merlin was so not having this conversation a second time in one hour.

“I know”, he therefore pressed. “But it is done and there is no need anymore. I might have been too risky, but I’d do it again anytime.”

“I understand.”

This made Merlin stop, mid-rant. No one ever quite understood.

“You do?” The question was whispered into the air, just as easily overheard, but Arthur didn’t.

“Of course I do. I’d have done the same for my knights. For Morgana. For you, Merlin. I understand why you did it, but that doesn’t make it less scary to watch you almost die. I just... wished you would’ve told someone about the cuff situation.”

“It felt pointless.”

Arthur paused, took a deep breath then turned to meet Merlin’s eyes. Merlin hadn’t realised how long he hadn’t done that.

“I don’t know if what I’m feeling is wrong. It’s been only a few days and surely my father would absolutely agree and say it’s wrong but - I like you and even if it sounds incredibly weird, I feel a connection to you like I do to no one else. As if it had been years I’ve known you and centuries until I’ll stop.”

“You can’t know that”, Merlin whispered back. “Arthur, this is complicated. I am complicated. It’s not that I don’t share your feelings - really, it’s confusing but I feel the same. But we can’t. Not yet at least. I’m leaving tomorrow, we both know that. And there is no point in the near future I could tell you when we can meet again. Though Uther promised to forget about it, he won’t really. There’s no way he’ll agree to new negotiations about an alliance soon. It could be years before we meet again, Arthur.”

“Then I’ll wait. Even if it takes decades.”

“I can’t allow you to do that.”

“Why not? This isn’t your choice to make.”

“But you’re making the wrong decision! I don’t want you to be hung up on me. Sticking to one’s promise is sometimes.. terrible and having to wait for a person for years can break someone. I don’t want you to feel obligated to me, like I felt to Cenred. I once promised to never give up on him. Whatever the cost and I couldn’t take it back. Arthur don’t make a promise we both don’t know if we can keep it.”

There was pain buried deep inside of Merlin’s eyes that made Arthur believe he spoke from experience but also out of fear.

“I can’t force you to do anything, Arthur. But I will never hold you accountable if you can’t keep a promise like that. Don’t feel guilty if you fall for someone while I’m gone.”

Arthur stared a little longer at Merlin. Earnest, honest, kind Merlin, who had suffered through so much that he gained wisdom not even Geoffrey possessed. Merlin who had risked his life to show Uther just what kind of king he was. Merlin who didn’t back down or shy away not even from telling Arthur a truth that might hurt both.

“Shut up”, Arthur eventually replied, as he was already surging forward to crash his lips on Merlin’s. The other winced shortly and Arthur would’ve immediately backed off again, remembering that Merlin must still be in pain or maybe not even wanting this right now, if said man hadn’t grabbed his neck and pulled him in even closer, his injuries pushed far back into his mind. The kiss was desperate, heated, longing and powerful, all combined. Everything Arthur felt was poured into this, while he tried to map out every inch of Merlin’s body under him, just to have something to remember him by.

It took everything from him to not say I love you then and there.

 

Merlin woke to a warm hand buried in his hair, playing with the dark strands, and an arm still wrapped around his waist. Panic washed through him briefly, before the memories of last night came back. He should really work on his tendency to compare every situation he finds himself in to one he had been in with Cenred.

“Good morning”, Arthur greeted him, his voice a low grumble in his chest, sending a shiver down Merlin’s spine.

“Morning”, he replied softly.

The next few minutes were silent. Merlin couldn’t remember the last time he had woken with such comfort and no desire to leave the bed anytime soon. But his upcoming departure was looming over him, and he realised that he didn’t want to leave Arthur. The one man that could make him feel at ease and contempt even when he had been dying just hours before. 

Still sleepy and slacking, Merlin mumbled a quiet “I don’t want to leave you” against his chest and it made Arthur chuckle, then press a kiss to his head.

“I wish you didn’t have to”, he replied.

“Fuck all royalty, let’s just go somewhere far away and live.”

“You make it sound so easy and desirable, but you’ll miss being King soon.”

“Nah, being King is basically having anxiety, but with a crown. Like - even heavier anxiety but still being an idol to your people.”

“I can only imagine.”

“You don’t have to imagine, you’re a prince.”

“But no King yet and my father would never talk about fears. That’s for humans to have. I’m pretty sure he’s not.”

This got a laugh out of Merlin. He raised his head from Arthur’s chest and smiled. Arthur had never seen something so beautiful.

“Thank you”, Merlin whispered into the static silence swaying between them.

“What for?”

“For being here. For understanding me.” The gap was closed and they met in a slow kiss, lazy and soft, not like the one’s from the previous night. This was just affection and comfort and happiness - for one blissful moment at least.

The door opened. Barging in came no other than glorious Gwaine - Merlin’s headknight with no sense of privacy whatsoever.

“Wakey, wakey, my Queen!”, he sang. “Don’t let me catch any chairs levitating - oh.” Just then he noticed that Merlin was awake. And not alone in the bed. His eyes instantly trailed to Arthur, who was uncomfortably aware of his nakedness under the sheets. Merlin however didn’t seem fazed.

“Morning Gwaine, I see you still haven’t learned what knocking is?”

“Knocking doesn’t usually wake you up.”

“Better to try than to barge right in, don’t you think?”

“Oh but then I wouldn’t have seen this with my own two - beautiful - eyes, would I?” A grin spread on the man’s face and Merlin, to Arthur’s silent horror, laughed at that.

“You’re a noisy little bitch sometimes, Gwaine.”

“Forever and always. I’m not your best friend for nothing.”

“Sure, but would you like - care to leave again? We can’t get ready with you staring.”

“‘Course, Sire. Just wanted to remind you that we - unfortunately, I see - have to be ready soon. Essetir is waiting for our return.”

Now Merlin’s features saddened a little and his eyes slid down to the floor.

“Yeah”, he answered more distraught. “I’ll be ready soon.”

“I’m glad you’re better, though”, was the last thing Gwaine said, before making himself disappear again. The pair slowly made their ways out of the bed after that, putting on their clothes at a comfortably slow pace and eventually retrieving Merlin’s few belongings.

When all was done and they were both dressed and ready to go, they lingered at the door, knowing that opening them meant saying goodbye for at least quite a while and it also meant building up their royal walls, for when they met Uther and the people of Camelot on the courtyard.

“Are you ready?”, Arthur asked, reluctantly letting go of Merlin’s Hand he held before.

“Not quite”, Merlin confessed and pulled him in for one last kiss. It had surely lasted several minutes, but it still felt too short to them. However, there was no more time.

Merlin readjusted his crown and opened the doors, not daring to look back at his chambers, when they made their way down the several flights of stairs to the courtyard, where their horses were ready to go and Gwaine awaited him, Percy’s hand firmly in his.

Merlin politely greeted the King, thanking him once more for the kindness of letting him stay another knight. Uther was even nice enough to ask if he was feeling better. Merlin didn’t mention that his son was the primary reason that he was.

“Thank you, Sire, the night here helped me regain my strength immensely. And I just want to say - even though we are ending on mildly bad terms - Essetir is always open for new negotiations about an alliance. That is - if you recognise magic’s true nature. But even for that, if you’d like to make yourself a picture of a land that has legalised it, our gates are open. I hold no grudge, nor resentment towards your kingdom, but my opinion hasn’t changed and won’t. Maybe yours will. I hope to see Camelot soon again, preferably not in war.”

Uther did not respond to this, but shook Merlin’s hand in respect. It was the tiniest sign of change, Merlin noticed. Uther considered something in the very far back of his mind cage, if it was enough only time would tell.

 

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Percival approaching Arthur, who had looked on a little confused. Right, Arthur hadn’t known of their plans to take Percy with them back to Essetir.

“Arthur! There was no time to tell you before, I’m sorry”, he started explaining. “I am and will always be grateful for Camelot and what it brought me, but my upmost loyalty still lies with my home and my friends, therefore I’ll be returning to Essetir. I still regard you as my prince, but... Merlin is my King, and Gwaine...” He shot Gwaine a quick look and Arthur couldn’t help but smile. Oh what he’d give to switch titles with a knight right now and, too, leave with Merlin to make himself a new home in the castle of Essetir.

“I understand. You were one of my best knights and I hope you will find what you seek in Essetir.”

“Oh, I already found it. I’m just following him back home.”

The besotted smile breaking out on Percy’s face was blinding and Arthur couldn’t help but embrace his friend.

“Keep an eye on them, for me, yeah?”, he asked quietly and the broad man nodded eagerly.

“I’d give my life.”
After parting Percy returned to Gwaine’s side, pulling him close in a manner that suggested he never wanted to let go.

Merlin took his time to thank the knights of Camelot and say his goodbye’s to them. They were equally sad to see the King go so soon - a man they already considered a friend, how stupid that may sound.

But it all had to come to an end. Merlin sat on his horse, looking as regal as the day he arrived, the dark robes flowing from his body and the silver crown shining in the sun. Flanked by the two knights, he looked right where he belonged. High up, powerful and magnificent.

Just as Merlin spoke his last goodbyes and the horses already turned, ready to take off - a voice interrupted.

“Wait! Take me with you!”

Notes:

I think I’ve got a problem, every time I start writing a chapter I can’t stop until it’s finished lol

Thanks for reading! I hope y‘all enjoyed it and don’t hate me too much for the cliffhanger. Who do you think it is wanting to come with??

Thanks for all the LOVELY LOVELY comments! I love them so so much. Thank you. All comments and kudos are greatly greatly appreciated.

Stay safe and healthy!

- Saturning (saturningandturning on tumblr)

Chapter 22

Notes:

Okay almost all over you guessed it! I knew it was kinda obvious but I still hoped a little that it wasn’t THAT obvious but oh well, I still hope that doesn’t make this uninteresting! Have fun reading!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

“Morgana?”, Merlin whispered more to himself than anyone else. He almost hadn’t realised the woman missing on the courtyard, which again made him feel guilty. Her absence shouldn’t have gone unnoticed.

Gasps came from all over the courtyard, followed by rapid steps towards Merlin and his knights, then a yelp. Merlin turned around in time to see, that the owner of the voice he had immediately connected to the king’s ward, was being held back by Uther gripping her wrist tightly.

“What are you doing?”, he asked her horrified.

“Let go of me at once, Uther!”, Morgana seethed and ripped her hand free from his grip, looking rightfully ready to jump his throat. She was dressed quite modestly in pants and a tunic that looked like she stole it from Arthur, but was almost pulling it off better than him.

Merlin hadn’t realised when he got off the horse, he just suddenly found himself just inches away from Morgana.

“Have you gone mad, Morgana?”, he questioned. If his voice was angry or confused or shocked, he couldn’t tell either.

“The opposite, Merlin. Quite frankly I’ve been enlightened and I came to the realisation that I cannot stay here, not like this”, she answered, chin held high and an expression of sheer will on her face that Merlin couldn’t counter.

“What is your plan then? You really just want to leave Camelot like this?”

At this, Morgana hesitated. Just a second, but Merlin didn’t miss the glance to the side, where Gwen and Lancelot and Leon stood, Arthur not too far either.

“Merlin have you planned this?”, Uther interrupted, as he came stalking towards them, visibly fuming. Shit, his departure could have been so nice and peaceful and regal. But no, destiny just never played in his favour. 

“I assure you, I have not!”, Merlin protested, taking one step back.

“It was my idea, Uther! It is my choice”, Morgana declared, loud enough for all people to hear.

“But - why?” Uther looked heartbroken and it was a sight Merlin never anticipated to see. King Uther feeling emotions? And it’s not even anger?

“Morgana, please consider what you’re saying”, Arthur, who Merlin hadn’t realised made his way over, too, chimed in. He, too, looked worried and taken aback by the sudden situation. “Camelot is your home-“

“Yes, Arthur, it is. And it pains me to leave - but I can’t stay, please understand that.”

“No”, Uther shouted. “Not a Chance, Morgana. You belong to the royal court of Camelot! Why would you want to give that up just to - to follow a sorcerer?”

Merlin would have felt offended, if Morgana hadn’t already done that for him.

“Watch your mouth! You haven’t got an inkling of an idea about what he’s capable of! He is my only chance at succeeding, he’s my mentor and he’s my hope. I won’t give up this chance, just to live in fear until the day any of you comes to their senses!”

Everyone watched in shock, as the ward unleashed her anger, gesturing wildly.

“Morgana”, Merlin helplessly tried to interfere. “Really, I feel honoured that you see me in such a way, but have you really thought this through?”

“How is he a mentor to you? I’m just as much of a king as he is, what do you find in him?”, Uther continued arguing angrily. Now Merlin really started feeling hurt and offended by the King’s words.

“Excuse me?”

“You have magic.” Arthur’s realisation made them all shut up. He really was a smart one, connected the dots faster than his father at least. Morgana stared back at Arthur, mixed feelings written all over her face. Surely she must have expected to be revealed, when she so blatantly tried to follow Merlin to Essetir and called him her mentor and her hope. Merlin also knew that she wanted to be proud and embrace that magic, but he couldn’t blame her for being afraid, not when he had been scared to his core when he rescued the witch from the pyre just two days ago. Not that he would openly admit that.

“No, you’re mistaken. She can’t, that’s not possible! That’s wrong Morgana, isn’t it?”, Uther asked exasperated, almost like a madman.

“It’s true, yes”, she replied and her voice only quivered a little, for that Merlin was proud. “I am, with every fibre of my being. I found out a few weeks ago.”

Then she turned to look at Merlin again.

“You have only just begun to teach me, Merlin. I cant give that up again. You give me hope for a better future, one where I can be myself in unapologetically. And until then I need your training, I need to be able to fully control my powers. You said you’d help me and now I’m begging you please take me with you and continue teaching me.”

Merlin’s heart vibrated in his chest, jumping weirdly from stunned to happy to flustered to shocked.

“Okay”, he finally voiced. “But only if you are sure that you want this. It’s not going to be easy and I won’t treat you like it is. If you come to be a citizen and sorceress of Essetir for however long that will be, you will not be considered a noble. You will have the same chambers and status as every other student, which also means no servants. You will be just Morgana, no more, but neither less.”

The shining smile Morgana wore could challenge the sun, Merlin thought, when the woman already slung her arms around his neck and hugged him tight.

“That’s the best I could’ve asked for”, she weakly said, holding him just a bit tighter. Merlin, too, gave in smiling and embraced the woman.

Then all of a sudden she was ripped from him and both were met with a stone cold gaze from none other than the King of Camelot.

“You are absolutely not. This unacceptable. Morgana you are a royal of the Court of Camelot and whatever magic thing he makes you believe you have - you don’t.”

Merlin felt anger rising in chest so powerful, he hadn’t felt like that in years.

“Sire”, he told through gritted teeth. “I have tried to go respectful about your beliefs, but this is frankly too much. Do you even realise what you are causing, saying things like that? Oppressing people, forcing them to hide their magic? It can be dangerous!”

“That’s why it must be eliminated and hidden!”, Uther spat back.

No! That is entirely the wrong thing! If magic isn’t controlled properly, it can break out. Untrained sorcerers are a threat to everyone around them, the longer they hide and especially if they have a lot of potential power. And to be fair, your ward has a lot of it.”

“Stop telling lies! I know a magic user when I see one and Morgana cannot be one of them. I control magic by destroying it! It has to be eliminated in order for it to be controlled! I am doing the right thing.”

“Oh no, Uther. What you are doing is fuelling this threat, making it more dangerous with every person you burn. When you set fear into the hearts of innocent loving people, just because they possess an inkling of magic? You better believe they are going to be either angry or suppressing their magic, creating an even bigger threat! How can you say, that you control magic, when still there are people dying of it! Magic itself isn’t harmful, but the way you treat it makes it that way. A 

person with only bad feelings towards their own magic is not going to be peaceful. But you are so blinded by your hate! You don’t even try to realise, that all you’re doing is help the threats grow. If you’d just let them learn to control it, nothing bad would ever come out of it. Truly, Uther, it’s ridiculous. You could gain so much power, but instead you choose to gain enemies. You are a fool, blinded by the past. I won’t allow you to corrupt a beautiful young soul like Morgana’s with your hatred. If she pleases, she will always be welcome in Essetir. You will soon realise your mistake.”

Having that speech out in the open felt like a heavy weight was lifted from his shoulders and Merlin quickly strut back to his horse, wasting no time to climb it. Just then he became aware of the silence in the courtyard and the hundreds of eyes laying on him, watching his every move.

Merlin met Arthur’s eyes. His face was neutral, a little shocked maybe, but his eyes betrayed him, as they were glowing with pride.

With the new found courage, Morgana hurried over to the horse, that one of the stable boys brought out for her and climbed on it.

“I cannot let you go with him”, Uther tried on last time, blocking the way of her horse, but Morgana didn’t seem impressed in the slightest.

“I am not asking for permission, Uther”, she seethed and nodded towards Merlin, who took this as a signal to leave.

One last glance he directed at Arthur, who immediately met him with the same sorrow expression.

I hope we meet again soon.

Thus they took of. Destination: Essetir.

Notes:

Thanks for reading y‘all!
I really enjoy reading through your comments and speculating what’s about to happen lol

Also I think this fic is going to have like; a lot of chapter if I keep the, that short. Do y‘all like it if I keep them this short or would you rather wait a little longer and get a longer chapter in which more stuff happens? Idk lol

Anyways! All attention (kudos & comments & bookmarks & suggestions) is very very very appreciated!

Stay safe & healthy!

- Saturning (saturningandturning on tumblr)

Chapter 23

Notes:

Hello!

I am deeply sorry for the complete lack of content, but I have finished my finals now and then writer‘s block got the better of me for a while.
However I have finally finished another chapter! I know I wanted to make them longer, which I will try to do from now on, but honestly I just thought the wait was long enough and it is fine as it is, so I hope you all enjoy, even though it is not my best work so far lmao

Also in terms of the current events of the world: Black lives matter and fuck you if you don’t believe it.

Have fun reading!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

“I kind of thought this was going to be harder”, Morgana said, when they passed the exit of the city of Camelot. “At least some guards trying to make me stay.”

“I don’t think he dared”, Gwaine answered and though it sounded arrogant, that’s what Merlin guessed, too. “Not with Merls here at your side.”

“We’ve been dangerously close to war right there”, Merlin cut in lowly. “Let’s not repeat any of that, even if we’d win the war.”

His three companions nodded solemnly, so Merlin allowed himself to breath again. It had been quite long since he felt like doing that freely. Who could’ve known that Camelot would bring up all kinds of stress, including the heartache he felt when he left. Sure, he was more than happy to return home, but Arthur kept intruding his mind. He really wished the prince could’ve gone, too. Or at least that they could visit without risking a bloodbath.

“Come on, Merls, what’s with the long face? You literally made the most badass exit out of Camelot ever and you’re unhappy?”, Gwaine drew him out of his mind.

“I think it was more scary and uncontrolled than badass, really. And it’s just... Arthur”, Merlin replied and instantly Gwaine looked apologetic. “I wish I could at least see him once in a while.”

“You’re a sorcerer, Merlin. Surely there’s a way for you two to meet undercover”, Percy suggested, but Merlin shook his head.

“Not while I have a kingdom to lead and the relations between us and Camelot are still so unstable. I’m afraid I cannot risk seeing him, for Essetir’s and Camelot’s sake. His and mine.”

“Tragic, the one time my brother is competent enough to find himself someone good and it can’t work out”, Morgana commented, sighing dramatically.

“If it’s meant to be, then it will”, Gwaine said. Merlin doesn’t know if he likes to believe in meaning to be with someone anymore. The one prophecy already directed his life, was the universe really considerate enough to let him have something like that? Surely not. They gave him Cenred after all. But also his magic...

“We will see how it all turns out”, he eventually told and his companions agreed in silence. The rest of the days’ ride was quiet.

 

They arrived in Essetir two days later. Morgana looked at the walls and the castle and the houses in awe, pleasantly shocked each time she saw someone perform magic.

“This looks like a paradise”, she mused happily and Merlin snickered.

“Far from that, but it is good. I like it, too.”

People from all around them stopped as they rode by, waving happily at their king and his knight, and Merlin always smiled and waved back politely. Where other king’s would’ve grown out their ego and arrogance, Merlin embraced the kindness and returned it as good as he could. He knew that the people look up to him and he acted accordingly. The people clearly loved him.

“God I forgot how everything here looked. Didn’t realise how much I missed this place”, Percival said, as he, like Morgana, looked upon the city with big eyes. Gwaine and Merlin smiled in response.

“Welcome Home”, the King said with joy.

Finally they arrived at the courtyard, where Merlin visibly tried his best to hide his excitement, as he dismounted and gave his horse to one of the stable boys, who he thanked politely. There was a boy at the top of the stairs to the entrance of the castle. A little shorter than Merlin and dressed wealthy but not quite posh. He ran down the stairs and eventually right into Merlin’s arms. For a moment they just held each other and Merlin looked as if he’d rather not let go anytime soon. But they had to, of course, and Mordred immediately seemed worried.

“Did it not go well?”, he asked, holding onto Merlin’s forearm as if he feared the man would fall apart.

“Ah, what makes you come to that conclusion?” Merlin’s smile was fragile and the worry in Mordred’s eyes only grew.

“You’re back earlier than expected. And you’re shaking. And your magic feels like it’s worn out.”

Merlin hummed quietly. “You’re too smart for me sometimes. Let’s talk about it inside later, okay? I have two people you should meet first.” The king moved out of the way, so that Mordred had a clear view of his companions. All three moved forward to stand next to Merlin, Gwaine and Percy hand in hand.

“This”, Merlin gestured to Percy. “Is Percival. I’m not sure if you can remember him, you were only nine when he left Essetir, but he was one of my best friends at that time. We met him as one of Camelot’s knights and now I’m proud to announce that he is one of Essetir’s.”

Mordred smiled and took a step towards the giant man, offering a polite handshake. “I think I have a vague memory of you, but you were a lot skinnier. Nice to meet you again, though, and welcome back home!”

Percy laughed and accepted the hand with glee. “Thank you, you’ve also grown a lot since I last saw you, my prince.”

“Please just Mordred, a friend of Merlin’s is a friend of mine. May I ask what made you come back to Essetir after seven years?”

“Mostly this idiot here”, Percy paused to ruffle through Gwaine’s hair, who looked downright offended by the action. “But I also missed this place. It’s my home after all and with Merlin king I doubt there’s a better place for me to be.”

“Glad to hear that, I wish you guys luck.” The prince smiled at both of them one last time, then turned to the unfamiliar woman.

“Ah”, Merlin said. “This is Morgana. She is also a sorceress and officially, she’s someone I picked up on my journey back here, so that she could learn how to control her powers.”

“And unofficially?”

“Unofficially she’s Morgana Pendragon, King Uther’s ward, who betrayed his ideals to come here and learn how to control her powers.”

“Oh, so you’re royalty, too, my Lady?”, Mordred didn’t look very surprised, but politely offered her his hand as well.

“Please”, she answered. “Now I’m just Morgana. I’m no royalty here, just a student eager to learn.”

“Well, then I happily welcome you in Essetir and can’t wait to see you at training! As I am there everyday, I’m sure we will get to train sometime.”

“Sounds wonderful, I can’t wait.” Her smile was genuine as she shook his hand.

“Great!”, Merlin spoke and clapped his hands once. “Now that you are introduced, let’s head inside, shall we? I’ve got.. a lot to tell you.”

“It probably has to do with the sorceress you rescued from the pyre, right?”, Mordred asked as they made their way up the stairs and into the castle.

“Right. That’s kinda where it all got complicated. Oh”, Merlin stopped as they reached the entrance, turning back to his friends. “Gwaine, could you show Morgana her new place? And I believe you and Percy are going to share your room, so there shouldn’t be an issue. Then I’d like either you or one of the servants to show Morgana and Percy the castle and its grounds as well as the lower town. After all, they are living here and should know their way around. I would do it myself, but I fear I’ll be caught up in kingly matters for the next few days at least. Maybe I’ll send Mordred sometime, but- I’m rambling, sorry. So, could you do that?”

Gwaine just laughed and clapped a hand on his back endearingly. “Already on it, Merls. Don’t overwork yourself, I’ll check on you!”

“I’d be disappointed if you didn’t!”, Merlin called back.

Thus Gwaine and the others left Merlin and Mordred to discuss the failed alliance.

 

“Okay, so fuck Uther”, Mordred announced, when Merlin finished talking about the events in Camelot. It felt like hours had gone by, so much had happened that he needed to tell, and his throat was dry from all the talking.

“Yeah”, he replied solemnly, resting his head in his hands. “He’s a fucking asshole. He is still a moderate king, though. Camelot is in great shape, if you ignore the sorcerers. Who I don’t like to ignore. But what can I say? Uther does. As long as he is in power, I doubt we will be getting a proper alliance. But good news: He’s kinda old so maybe we don’t have to wait too long until Arthur sits on the throne and changes the whole system.”

“Arthur, huh?”, Mordred proceeded to ask, now wearing something resembling a smirk.

“What about him?”, Merlin answered nonchalant, obviously hiding the fact that his heart immediately picked up speed just by mentioning the name and that his mind had been coming back to thinking about Arthur every other minute. Mordred raised his eyebrows.

“We literally share a magical bond since I was ten, Merlin. You think I wouldn’t notice?”

“There isn’t anything to notice.”

“You are lying well, but your magic isn’t. Come on just tell me! You know I won’t stop pestering you about this until you do.”

Merlin groaned in response and let his head fall onto the table. “I wasn’t that annoying when I was sixteen. Why are you?”

“Now that is a bold lie, you can be just as annoying as I am!”

“But I wasn’t with sixteen.”

“Yeah probably because you were dating Cenred already.”

“Okay fair.”

“Now tell me! I, as your official heir, demand it!”

“Fine, you brat. Arthur and I, we’re... it’s complicated. We like each other, yes, he’s great, but the situation is unfortunate and I doubt there will ever be a time that we can be officially and openly together. Happy?”

Mordred grinned so wide, Merlin thought it might break his face.

“For now I am, yes, but I will be getting more details. If it’s from you or Gwaine or Morgana or whoever I find, I don’t care. But I am honestly happy for you. If it’s meant to be, it’ll work out, right?”

Irritation washed over Merlin’s face the same time fondness spread in his chest.

“Stop being so wise, that’s scary. I’m the older one here.”

“Yeah, of course dad, I’ll make sure to remember that next time. I’m going to check on the new sorceress then and make sure she knows when and where training takes place.”

Though he turned and started leaving, it didn’t escape Mordred just how proud and delighted Merlin had smiled.

Notes:

Thank you so much for reading! I’ll try to make the wait for the next chapter shorter! (No promises tho)

Comments & kudos always greatly appreciated, thank you all for your overwhelming support!

Stay safe & healthy!
- Saturning (saturningandturning on tumblr)

Chapter 24

Notes:

Y‘all! I am still alive, yes, and I’m still trying to continue/ finish this fic. I’m sorry it’s taking so long! Writer‘s block is a bitch and i apologise if it’s gradually getting worse.
I also can’t promise when the next update is going to be, but I’m trying my best.

Now, I hope you enjoy!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Are you ready for your first training, Morgana?”, Mordred looked at the woman with bright eyes filled with excitement. She couldn’t help but notice the similarities between Mordred and Merlin, especially when talking about magic. Clearly Mordred had copied Merlin’s passion for it.

“I think I am”, she stated confidently, but felt less like it. Honestly, she was just scared to fuck it up and to look like an idiot. What made it worse for her ego was that surely Mordred, merely a teenager, would exceed her by far. Of course, Merlin had assured her that no one would make fun of her and that it was just natural that she wouldn’t be as good as any of them and especially Mordred, since most had trained since their early teens, or at least already a few years. And Mordred himself had the virtue of being trained privately by Merlin as well - whenever he finds the time to do so, that is.

“Is Merlin teaching any of the classes?”, Morgana proceeded to ask, while they walked down the stairs towards the training field.

“Well... he tries. Certainly not today and probably not for another week or two because he will be very busy, but whenever he can, he does and his students are always excited when this is the case. He is a good teacher, isn’t he? I believe you already had the honour of being taught by him?”, Mordred answered, a cheerful smile plastered on his face.

“Yes, that’s right. He is fantastic, but I’m sure the other teachers are as well”, the sorceress responded, her cheeks reddening the slightest bit.

“Oh of course, but nothing compared to Merls. He’s by far the most powerful. Also, I just really hope it’s not Caldrin who’s teaching us today, because even though Dad avers that he’s a great teacher and skilled sorcerer - I beg to differ. He’s an idiot and makes mistakes no sorcerer with more than a year’s training should make. That wouldn’t even be so bad, if he then again wasn’t so pretentious! Acts like he’s better than everyone but can barely conjure a goddamn gust of wind.” The boy hadn’t even noticed the beginnings of his rant, Morgana found it quite endearing. It was clear he was just a sixteen years old with his own strong opinions - and that was just perfect. A healthy teenager. Morgana was shocked at her own surprise. In hindsight she realised, never before had she met a teenager that was this careless and happy and... normal. Ever since she grew up with Arthur in Camelot’s castle, even teenagers were expected to always be on their best behaviour, to not be disrespectful and act as if they’re ten or twenty years older than they are. Arthur and her never got to be teenagers and neither did Guinevere or the other young servants. Merlin had to be a really good father if he managed to take all that pressure from Mordred’s shoulders, so he could go out and be a real child.

“Hey, I hope this questions isn’t weird but - I noticed you said Dad, when talking about Merlin. Do I remember correctly that you’re Cenred’s son and Merlin is your step father?”

Mordred stopped for a moment. His eyes seemed somber.

“Theoretically”, he said. “That’s true. But for me it’s not. I may be Cenred’s biological son, but he never was my father. Merlin might not be related to me by blood and many say he was too young when he had to start taking care of me, but - for me - he is my father. Cenred was egoistic. I was only of use to him, so he had an heir and wouldn’t have to worry about producing one, considering he was married to another man. Merlin... is hard to describe. I doubt I’ll ever find the right words to accurately reflect our relationship and his soul. But he cared for me since the day I met him. And he hasn’t stopped ‘till this day. We even share a magical bond, so that might be the closest I can come to explaining to you, how dear he is to me. I understand you meant no offense, but please don’t call me Cenred’s son anymore. Or him my father. It’s just not the truth. Merlin is more of a father to me than Cenred ever was.”

The rest of the way neither said a word, Morgana was somewhat embarrassed, but at least Mordred had regained his smile as they arrived just in time for training to start.

 

The training was a success and so were all the others that came after that one. After two weeks of hard work, Merlin was finally able again to teach some of the classes and share some needed free time with his friends. Morgana was learning quickly, though sometimes she tended to forget that magic and the use of it was legal in Essetir and she’d have a minor heart attack whenever using magic without thought. She still expected Uther to round the corner to burn her on the pyre.

Percival and Gwaine were as happy as ever. Usually seen together, often in the tavern, but of course also on the training field - they were a great team everywhere. Percy had told him one night that it had been the best decision he ever made, coming home to Essetir with him. Gwaine had cried in response. Just a little.

It’s been four months since Merlin and his companions left Camelot and the King still thought about his former short-time lover Prince Arthur Pendragon almost on a daily basis. Everyday he came a little closer to say ‘fuck it’ and just write a letter or even ride back to the kingdom himself, and if it’s just to see how Arthur was doing.

Life in Essetir was great.

 

Life in Camelot was not.

Arthur was downright fuming, when he barged into the hall where his father sat on his throne, deep in thought with furrowed brows and a wrinkled forehead.

“When were you going to tell me that Camelot is an inch away from being at war?”, Arthur yelled, barely holding it together. The fury he felt in this moment was nothing compared to any anger he before experienced. Just a minute ago some guard in front of his chambers had casually mentioned his distress towards the possibility of an upcoming war and Arthur saw red. Really, it had been only luck that he overheard that sentence, as the guards probably thought him to sit at the other end of his chambers, drowning in paperwork his father had put upon him. Now he realised, it was just to keep him distracted, so Uther didn’t have to tell his son, that he may have made a mistake. That life’s were in danger and so was the whole kingdom. He had been too proud. Too proud to ask for advice, because then he would have admitted imperfections. And King Uther Pendragon does not like that - in fact, he’d rather die. Or, well, in this case put hundreds of life’s in danger.

“Arthur, don’t you know better than to scream at your father like a displeased girl?”, Uther sneered, as he dragged his eyes up to meet his son’s, who merely got more angry.

“Oh I’m much more than just displeased, father. Did you specifically order the knights not to talk to me about the northern conflict? You must have talked to Sir Leon about this, he is the head knight after all. And as my friend and out of respect, he would’ve told me about this, except if you specifically ordered him not to. Did you, father?”

Uther didn’t flinch once, but looked sorrowful. As if he was sad to be discovered.

“I did”, he simply answered.

“How could you! I- you- Camelot is in immense danger! And you didn’t even consider telling me? Your son? Who is the fucking leader of the army? The Prince? What should I have said, if someone asked me about it, and I had no clue what they were on about? Father, this is serious. Much more than your hurt ego. We could lose that war. We don’t have enough people. Our army is not strong enough. I have read quite a number of papers about their army, you of all people gave them to me to read and work through. I fell for it like an idiot. Father I’m telling you, Camelot is not strong enou-“

“And what do you expect me to do, Arthur? Give up? Work it out with someone who is already determined to slaughter us like they do chickens? Prepare for a war we will surely loose?”

The King’s booming voice echoed of the walls and now he sounded angry, too. At least, Arthur thought. At least he cares.

“I expect you to swallow your pride and do the one thing that can save us - form an alliance with Essetir. They are the nearest and strongest kingdom we know and frankly, King Merlin did say that he was still open for a debate for a possible alliance. We have no other choice.”

Uther growled in response, pulled his eyes away from Arthur’s figure to gaze out of the tall windows instead.

“Fine”, he spat. “Take one or two knights and ride to Essetir. If they are under control and if the King is still up for an alliance, tell him to meet me at the border, out in the open field. We have maybe a week, maybe one and a half before the northern war will break out. The meeting will be in four days, no later or we could be too late. Hurry now.”

“Yes, father.“

Notes:

Thank you so much for (still) reading! I hope there are some of you still interested in this fic lmao.

Kudos & comments are greatly appreciated and a huge motivator! So thank you all for all the kind comments! I love you!

Stay safe & healthy!
- Saturning (saturningandturning on tumblr)

Chapter 25

Notes:

Well, it seems that every few motnhs i get a sudden burst of mitiviation write a chapter and then vanish again lmao.
But honestly, that motivation usually comes from someone commenting on this story and i just love yall for that. thank you so much for every comment. They literally give me motivation to finish this.

But with no further ado, sorry for the wait! Have fun reading, I hope you like it

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

“My King! You have a visitor, they’re-”, the servant started chattering immediately, as they barged into Merlin`s chambers, where he was working.

“I have no time for visitors, didn’t I tell you that?”, he interrupted, barely looking up from his papers. “Tell ‘em to come back in a week, I should be free on maybe Tuesday afternoon.” 

“But Sire! I’m sure you have time for him -”

“I assure you - I don’t.”

“It’s Prince Arthur Pendragon from Camelot, Sire.”

Merlin froze, his feather fell from his hand and made a high clinking sound as it fell to the floor. After a second of shock, he pushed back his chair to stare at his servant.

“Is he here officially?”, he asked, joy rushing through his body at rapid speeds.

“I think so, he just arrived with two knights.” The servant nodded hastily and Merlin mirrored him.

“Alright, I will welcome him outside. Please go and find Sir Percival and Sir Gwaine and send them to the throne room, we will be there shortly. And send Morgana and Mordred as well, after they finished their training session. Thank you.”

They left the room together, though parting into different directions. Merlin had to hold himself back from running through the hallways and over the courtyard to fall into Arthur’s arms. It had been months since he last saw him, but barely minutes since he thought of him. Still he also felt dread meeting him. What if he found someone else in the meantime? What if he came to declare war on Essetir? What if he had done something stupid and was now banished from Camelot?

There was no more time to think about it, the light outside the castle was already touching his toes and the courtyard came into view. And truly, there he was. The Crown Prince of Camelot, Arthur Pendragon, flanked by Sir Leon and Sir Lancelot. 

Merlin tried his best to stay composed, but couldn’t help fastening his steps towards the foreign men. Men he hadn’t known even two weeks, but already kept in his heart.

Now he stood only 10 feet apart, finally meeting their eyes. And he didn’t know what to say.

“Prince Arthur!”, he exclaimed therefore, allowing the honest surprise to be heard, but keeping the endearment a secret for now. “Leon, Lancelot- what gives me the pleasure to welcome you here in Essetir?” 

“I fear it’s not as pleasurable as I’d like it to be, but it’s good to see you as well, Merlin.” Arthur smiled at him and maybe it was the months long separation, but it made Merlin crazy. Like a love-struck fool in his teens kind of crazy. But it also made him panic. What did he mean by ‘not as pleasurable?’?

“Oh, well if that’s the case, please follow me inside, so we can discuss the matters.”

The three foreigners agreed politely and followed Merlin up the steps into the mainly green and silver decorated castle. No one talked while the King led them through a few hallways, greeting the staff on the way, and the air felt thick. Something dooming was surely about to be revealed, Merlin felt it. Maybe the dreams from the previous nights had been visions after all. They entered the throne room together, where Gwaine and Percy already awaited them. The doors were closed behind them and finally Merlin was allowed to let loose and hug his friends and… Arthur. Whatever he was. Percy was also delighted to see his old friends and wasted no time to pull all three into a bone-crushing hug. Merlin watched it happen as he fidgeted nervously with his hands. It felt like hours until they stopped greeting each other, finally silence spread among them and Merlin took his chance to clear his throat.

“I’m really happy you’re here, but you have me worried. Why the sudden visit?”

All three visitors moved uncomfortably, the knights avoided his eyes, only Arthur stayed persistent. 

“It appears that Camelot is in trouble. So much that my father agreed to send me here, do with that what you will.”

“Oh wow, okay, what did you do?”

“Honestly”, Arthur sighed, burying his face in his hands. “I don’t know exactly.”

They were again interrupted by the doors opening, revealing Mordred and Morgana. At the sight of her brother and friends, she squealed and tackled them all in a turbulent manner.

“Arthur, Leon, Lancelot! What a surprise! What brings you here?”

“Unfortunately, nothing as happy as you seem to be, my lady”, Leon answered a fond, but sad smile decorating his face.

“I’m not your Lady anymore, Leon, stop with the titles”, she scolded and Leon’s smile grew a little fonder.

“You look good Morgana”, Arthur commented and was rewarded with a beaming smile from his sister. She had indeed become healthier and happier since she started training in Essetir. But that all was distracting from the main conflict. Morgana was about to answer, when Mordred chimed in.

“That’s all great and all, but you said something about an unhappy reason you’re here? I’d much rather talk about that right now.”

“I agree, we’ll have enough time to catch up later, please tell me why Camelot is in trouble?”, Merlin said, positioning himself next to Mordred.

“Prince Mordred, I’m pleased to finally meet you. I am Arthur Pendragon and here on behalf of the King of Camelot, Uther Pendragon.”

“Pleased to meet you, too, Arthur. So what is it the King wants from us?”

“It seems that war was declared on Camelot and we fear that we have no chance to win, if we do not try to form another alliance with Essetir. Merlin, the last time we saw us, you have openly stated that you’d still be willing to form an alliance with Camelot. And now we are in desperate need of this alliance and your aid. Uther is willing to negotiate again and he’d like to meet you at the border our lands share three days from now.” The way Arthur spoke so fromally about the matter, made Merlin realize just how serious the matter was. But what he felt wasn’t joy. No, he was angry.

“War?”, Merlin asked in disbelief. “Are you kidding me? How did Camelot get involved in a war? With whom?”

“The northern conflict, we’re now part of it. Honestly, I don’t know how it happened. My father didn’t care to tell me about it at all, I found out by accident yesterday. But I’ve been studying the conflict and I know that without your help we are destined to lose.” Arthur was tense, worried, and Merlin was sure he was telling the truth. It suited Uther, not even telling his own son about an upcoming war.

“Still, I- Arthur, you’re asking me to participate in another war, one that doesn’t concern us. I’d come to aid the Kingdom that refuses to stop killing my kind. The Kingdom that refused to form an alliance with us, because of the sorcery and the Kingdom that just now seeks us out, when they have no other choice. Clearly, respect is not a part of this alliance and I am not sure I want to start one by endangering my people to protect those, who wouldn’t have batted an eye if we were the ones being killed.”

Obviously this was not the answer any of them expected. Arthur looked shocked and Merlin immediately felt sorry, but he couldn’t turn my back on my people. This was about them, not about Merlin.

“Okay, yes I- I understand what you mean, but this is- it’s urgent. Believe me when I say that it wasn’t Camelot’s choice to burn those like you and it wasn’t our choice to stop the alliance between our Kingdoms. That was all Uther, he acted on his personal opinions, not on what he thought Camelot wanted. But now all of Camelot is in danger. I understand that you’re angry and don’t want to cooperate with Uther, but this is not about him. Merlin, I ask you this not as his son, but as the Prince of my people and as Arthur - please consider it again. I don’t want to lose my Kingdom due to my father’s ignorance. And didn’t you say you want to unite the Kingdoms to form the united land of Albion? That means that the people from Camelot are your future people. You can’t just let them die, can you?” The pleading in his eyes almost convinced Merlin to say yes right then and there, without a second thought. But he was also very familiar with manipulative techniques, and they wouldn’t work as easily on him anymore.

Arthur frowned when he realised that all of Merlin’s expression and body language had gone from open and worried, to cold in a second.

“Arthur, is this a game for you? Manipulating me to your likeness when you know my history?”, he questioned, voice now sharp and spiteful.

“What?”, Arthur retorted dumbfounded. “No! This isn’t- I’m not-”

“Oh, you’re not? Not at all trying to use my kindness and my feelings towards certain someone, to get to my army? To win an easy alliance without having to meet my conditions?”

“No! Merlin, I want to meet your conditions! It’s Uther who-”

“No, Arthur, you cannot push everything onto others. You can’t manipulate me into a war. I thought you were better than that.” Arthur felt his heart crumble in his chest at those words. Meeting Merlin’s eyes was even worse. He looked… afraid. Afraid and sad and disappointed.

“Merlin, please listen to me. I am not trying to manipulate you. If it had been my choice, I wouldn’t endanger your people either. If there was any other way for me to get out of this without asking you for help, believe me I would. I don’t want to drag you into another war. But the feeling you had when you watched that sorceress burn -  that’s what I feel at the thought of sending my people to war, when I know we cannot win like this.” Desperately Arthur tried to sound sincere, to show his honesty, but Merlin remained hostile.

“You don’t get to use my emotions against me, Arthur. I will think about it once more, for your sake, but best believe me, when I say that this decision will solely be based on what I deem best for my people. I will talk to you tomorrow about this. Mordred, please show them the guest chambers. If you need me, I will be in mine.”

Those words said, Merlin left the hall, posture regained, the hostile look still on his face. Arthur was at a loss. This was not how it was supposed to go! Merlin should have said yes to the negotiations, they would’ve gone better this time for Essetir and Arthur would even get to spend a few days with Merlin. But he fucked up.

“Morgana, Gwaine, Percy, would you mind showing the knights of Camelot where they can stay the night? I will accompany the prince”, Mordred broke the silence eventually. Gwaine hastily agreed, before Morgana could intervene. The knight understood what Mordred had in mind.

Arthur didn’t even realize where Mordred was taking him, until they suddenly were no longer inside but in a garden, the royal garden probably. It suited Merlin that he had one just like this, colourful and elegant.

“Why did you bring me here?”, Arthur asked the teenager. As he looked at him from the side, the boy appeared to hold much more wisdom than Arthur dared to assume, but he was also hurting.

“Don’t be stupid, Arthur. Of course this is about Merlin.”

The Crownprince answered with a gulp.

“I witnessed most of what happened to Merlin, first hand, since I was about eight years old. He tried to hide it, but kids always notice more than you think. There are some things he still doesn’t talk to me about.”

“Your father-”

“Cenred was not my father. Cenred was nothing short of an abuser, maniac and asshole. And he scarred Merlin. It is noticeable today much more than other days, but when you know, it never disappears. I’m not trying to excuse what you said to him. Your words were not carefully chosen enough, especially given that Merlin told you of his history. They were manipulative and worst of all is that they were more than similar to Cenred’s strategies. He’d push blame onto others, take advantage of Merlin’s feelings. He would manipulate him into almost anything. I am not trying to say that you were wrong with any of what you said. If it was my choice, I’d agree to the alliance. But you hit Merlin where it hurts most and that’s not easily excusable for him. He won’t take this lightly.”

“I’m sorry”, Arthur choked out eventually. “I would never-”

“I don’t believe that either. I have talked with Morgana and Percy and Merlin for that matter, and all promised me, you wouldn’t hurt my Dad. I know what kind of relationship you two have and I honestly think you mean well. So please don’t let me be wrong by trusting you.”

Eventually they arrived inside again and halted in front of a door that could only belong to the guest chambers, Arthur guessed.

“I will talk to Merlin about this and see if I can convince him of my views, he always valued them. Just- please wait until he comes to talk to you about this, don’t pressure him.”

“Man, are you sure you’re only sixteen?”

“Yep, definitely.”

“Well, I see you inherited Merlin’s wisdom. You’re a lot like him, actually.”

This produced a smile on the boy’s face. “Thank you, Arthur. I like hearing that. Have a goodnight.”

One last nod and Mordred walked down the corridor they came from, probably on his immediate way to Merlin’s chambers.

Arthur’s heart still felt heavy, but he wasn’t as worried when he entered his guest chambers. Mordred would help him and he would show Merlin that he is nothing like Cenred.

Notes:

So I think there's not too many chapter left. I doubt we'll crack the thirty, but i actually just wanted to say a big big big thank you! For alle the love this gets, all comments, bookmarks, kudos, hits, subscriptions, everything! I feel so honoured that yall like this so much. I will again try my best to finish this soon. For your sake and mine lol. (Still no promises sadly)
Also I can't tell if the writing is okay or getting worse everytime but well, this my best! Hope you liked it!

All comments, kudos, bookmarks etc. as always appreciated! Thank you so much!

- Saturning

Chapter 26

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

No matter how hard he tried to concentrate, Merlin’s mind would not let him read the words that were so clearly written in the book in front of him. The sheer amount of tumorous feelings inside of him made it impossible to do anything, especially because he now had to be careful regarding his magic. This was a sensitive topic for all of him, magic included, and it just loved to act up if he felt threatened. Well, it loved to act up after the first moment of threat was over. It was scared of Cenred too and because magic had no eyes nor ears, it had to detect it from the way a person was acting. Merlin’s magic recognised the King’s feelings towards the Prince. And they realised potential manipulative behaviour, both of which Cenred had, too. So no wonder his magic was reacting so stupidly.

“I know I shouldn’t have developed feelings for him in the first place. I’m so stupid”, he mumbled to himself. He buried his face in his hands and took a few deep breaths, before pushing back his chair to give up on paperwork for now. His feet led him to the windows of his chamber, from where he had a nice view over Essetir. The sun was starting to set and with her the people, the town got quieter. How Merlin wished his mind would obey mother nature’s rules like that, too. He wanted to set like the sun, but he was never allowed.

A knock on the door disturbed the melancholic silence, Merlin immediately tensed up. He doubted he could handle any person related to Camelot right now. Be it Morgana, the knights or Arthur himself.

“Who is it?”, he called therefore, taking a few steps further into the room again.

“Mordred”, came the muffled voice from the other side of the door. Merlin let out a breath of relief.

“Come in.”

The door opened and closed quickly as Mordred entered his Dad’s chambers.

“Came to comfort me? How sweet of you”, Merlin said, putting on an exhausted smile, while he strode over to his chair to fall right back in it.

“To comfort and advise you, actually”, Mordred answered and took the chair right across Merlin, so he could properly meet his eyes.

“Advise me? About the alliance?” Merlin’s eyebrows were pinned to his forehead, he did not look very convinced. Mordred nodded.

“I think you ruled too fast. I know what he said wasn’t well put, but he did have a point, you know. This is our ultimate chance to put pressure on Camelot. They need our help desperately. We could ask for almost anything!”

“You think we could ask for magic to be legalised?”

“Maybe that step is… a little too big. But we can ask for the first few steps. Like, abolishing the death sentence for magic users.”

“We could, but then again… can I really ask my people to participate in another war? It hasn’t been long since the last one. There are people still grieving. Can I really ask my people to die for something that is not affecting us directly?”

Mordred was silent for a moment, before he said in a quiet voice “then don’t send an army.”

“What? You mean I should promise to send help and then… not do it? Mordred honestly, you know I usually take a lot of your advice but that’s-”

“Of course not . I meant that there’s no need for you to send an entire army. The northern conflict does not yet involve magic, as far as I know. So you don’t need many men to win this. Honestly, you could send just three sorcerers and it would probably be handled.” Mordred watched Merlin expectantly, how he switched from confused to suddenly enlightened.

“That’s brilliant”, he exclaimed. “Oh why didn’t I think of that? There’s no need for an army! We fought some of the northerners before, they aren’t particularly skilled.”

“Yes! And you can send me there, Merlin. I am skilled and I think finally ready to-”

Immediately Merlin’s voice and expressions hardened, as he looked at Mordred almost terrified.

“Absolutely not. No way in hell. No, Mordred. I am not sending you into a war, without much backing up and without experience.”

Mordred huffed exasperated. “Well, how am I ever going to gain experience if you won’t let me?”

“I will be letting you, but please don’t immediately let it be a war! Start small, Mordred. You’re just sixteen.”

“Who do you want to send then? The lads in training aren’t good enough, many don’t have experience and others are too old, I fear they wouldn’t even arrive in time on the battlefield. The ones that are in question, are gone to meet the druids for at least another week or are the ones grieving, so we cannot ask them. We don’t have that kind of time.”

“You are right, Mordred. We don’t. That’s why I will be going. Alone.”

A few seconds, Mordred just stared at Merlin, tension building up in the room, before it exploded out of his mouth.

Alone ?”, he screeched. “Are you out of your mind? When I said not an entire army I did not mean for you to go and sacrifice yourself on the battlefield alone!”

“Relax, Mordred. Not all alone. I will ask Kilgharrah and Aithusa to accompany me. Their intimidation will do most of the work anyways.”

“So you would rather risk your own life, as the King, and the lives of the last two dragons in existence, than take me with you?”

“Well, if we both risk our lives and fail, then who is left to inherit the throne? And what if we get attacked, while we are away? Who is here to protect the Kingdom?”

“Merlin, that is no excuse for you to-”

“Hey, i know you are worried, but please hear me out, okay? I am Emrys. I am strong like no other. Kilgharrah is a mighty dragon, who obeys my very will and so is Aithusa. If we can’t win this, then we shouldn’t have participated altogether. But honestly, I don’t think we will! And you, Mordred, are the Prince of Essetir. Essetir needs a leader while I am gone. While you won’t be gaining experience in a war, you will be gaining it here, by leading this Kingdom. They need you as much as I do. As long as I am alive, I will do anything to prevent harm coming to you. And I don’t think you are ready to become King. So there I have another motivation to come back, alive. And I will. After I ended that forsaken war.”

Mordred was quiet for another few moments. “But what if you don’t? What if you die and they attack Camelot first and then us? What am I going to do without you?”, he asked eventually, voice hoarse and on the edge of cracking.

“I don’t think that will happen, but in that worst case… then I am confident you will do a fantastic job of defending our Kingdom. You will still have Gwaine at your side, he will be your best advisor in that situation, he fought many wars alongside me. And you have the sorcerers. They and our army would do anything necessary to protect Essetir, I am certain. And at last, you have your own sharp mind, brilliant ideas and extraordinary magic you can rely on. If it comes to the worst, I know you will be a good leader. And a good King.”

“You sure?”

“You learned from me, didn’t you?”

“Oh, the arrogance is getting out, careful!”

Both laughed a little, then the room was silent again. It was for quite some time, until Mordred found Merlin’s eyes once more.

“Dad? Do you… miss Cenred?”, he asked. Merlin withheld his gaze, but seemed to hum absently.

“Yeah”, he whispered, his eyes now trailing down to the floor. “Kind of. He would have probably just said no and went on with his life -  he would make it easier.”

“Not better though, right?”

“Probably not. Do you miss him?”

Mordred seemed to think about it for a few moments.

“It’s okay if you do. He was still your father, even if he didn’t act like it most of the time”, Merlin reminded him softly. Mordred shook his head.

“I don’t miss him”, he said. “He was horrible. But I can’t stop thinking about him again and again and again. About what he would do if he was here. What he would say. How he would punish you, for acting out of line. How he would punish me for… whatever he found this time. It’s not like I want anyone to be punished. It just feels weird.”

“I get that. I don’t miss the pain, but, even after everything… sometimes he was the man I liked when I was a teen.”

“Do you think you can like Arthur as much?”

“I don’t know, Mordred. But I’m willing to try. Let’s continue this some other time, shall we? It’s getting late and I have to talk to him tomorrow about… everything. That’ll be hard.”

“You think he will be mad that you’re not sending your army?”

Merlin chuckled at that. “Honestly, I think he will be mad that I want to go alone. He will try to talk me out of it for sure. Gwaine, too, I guess. Not as if they’d succeed if you are on my side.”

Mordred smiled and went to hug Merlin tightly. “No one will succeed as long as we stick together”, he mumbled, Merlin hugged him even tighter in response.

“Goodnight, then.”

“Goodnight, Mordred.”

Notes:

wow it's been long since I updated twice in such a short time haha

I hope you enjoyed this update! I certainly did, because I fucking love writing sentimental scenes, especially with Merlin and Mordred. So yeah! Thanks for reading! Kudos, comments and bookmarks are as always greatly appreciated :)

Stay safe & healthy!

- Saturning (or Nemo, if you'd like)

Chapter 27

Notes:

uhhh surprise! I bet none of you expected this and honestly I didn't either but uh yeah, here we are! I am updating and I've actually finished the fic! I will post the three remaining chapters probably over the next three days (this one included lol) maybe earlier if I can't wait haha

I hope this doesn't feel toooo rushed, although i know it is because I was really just wanting to have it finished, kind of broke my heart to leave it forever unfinished like this, though I did like it myself!
Can't decide if my writing has gotten better or worse though lmao

Well no more talk from me, enjoy reading! Not beta'd or even proofread btw so you have to deal with that lmao

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

“Good Morning, Arthur!”

Arthur looked up to see Merlin striding into the throne room for breakfast, quite happy as it seemed. Which, okay, Mordred did say he was going to talk to Merlin about everything, but the King wasn’t this easy to convince, was he? Arthur did not expect him to change his mind so quickly. He should’ve known this wasn’t about to go as planned, even if it was in his favor.

“Goodmorning, Merlin”, he greeted back, watching the king until he was seated at the top of the table, Arthur to his left. Mordred came in but a minute later, mumbling something incoherent - clearly still asleep, even though he was moving. He fell more than sat down on the chair, eyes halfway closed, saying gibberish that could count as a greeting.

Shortly after Gwaine and Percy entered, taking their place opposite of Leon and Lancelot. Gwaine wore his hair in a very disheveled bun, Arthur didn’t miss the fond looks Percy shot him every few seconds. Everyone exchanged a few more good mornings, and they started with breakfast. 

It was nice while it lasted, but eventually the table was cleared and Merlin regained posture, clearly signaling the diplomacy that was about to follow.

Arthur hadn’t prayed to any god in a long time. But today he might reconsider.

“As we’re all already assembled - I’d like to talk about serious matters.” 

Merlin turned to look directly at Arthur. “Yesterday, you asked me to reconsider forming an alliance with Camelot. And I have. I spoke with Mordred last night - forgive me Gwaine, I didn’t discuss this with you - and came to the conclusion that I do not want to send my men into this war.”

Arthur felt all his hope drain out of him, pictures of a destroyed Camelot clouding his mind faster than he could follow. Was Merlin really going to let all of his people die over a fight he had with Uther? Merlin noticed the haunted look on Arthur’s face and quickly followed it up with “but I do intend to help Camelot. I have decided to not stand by and watch as your Kingdom gets burned to the ground, especially since it isn’t far-fetched to assume we would be attacked next anyways.”

There was a round of silence at the table. Mordred seemed to busy himself by staring deep into his goblet, Gwaine and Percy looked disturbed.

“What are you implying, Merlin? You don’t want to send our men, but you want to help. Who’s left to help if not our men?”

Arthur felt like Gwaine was more asking to be proven wrong in his thought of Merlin’s plan, than asking for his plan in the first place. The prince felt a little lost, as if what Merlin said should make him feel or think in some type of important way but… he was just confused.

“Gwaine, please. I understand you’re upset, but I promise this is thought through. I indeed plan to go by myself.”

Merlin sat stiff as he waited for everyone’s reaction and it came as foretold.

By yourself? ” Gwaine’s voice was sharp and angry as he pushed himself up from the table, keeping eye contact the whole time. Merlin wasn’t fazed at all. Arthur on the other hand was speechless.

“Yes, Gwaine. I know you don’t like this idea, but it is the best we have. It won’t be easy, of course, but this is not the time to be humble. I know my power, my limits and my strength. This is not an impossible fight.”

“Merlin, you are the King!

“And as such I ought to protect my people and my allies!“

The round was shocked into silence by his shout.

“I do not care how official the alliance is or what Uther has to say about it. I will protect the people of Camelot as I hope they will soon be my people too. I feel honoured that you all worry for me, but I do not. I know I am powerful enough to keep us all safe. And I would not hesitate to step in harm's way if it means you will continue to be safe. My life is not worth more than yours or those of the people. They grieve for their loved ones as much as you would for me. Which is why I will not be discussing this further - it is already decided. I don’t like having to decide things without your advice, but if you won’t handle this situation with reason just because it concerns me , then I feel I must, you leave me no choice.” 

Still silent, the room had its eyes on Merlin, who took the pause to fold his hands neatly in his lap, before continuing.

“I depart for the borders in two days, until then Mordred and Gwaine will see to my main duties - as I will be training to the best of my abilities for this fight. If I do it correctly not even our enemies all have to die.”

“And what if you don’t come back - what then?” Gwaine sat again, but his stare was just as intense.

“Then I trust in your guidance for Mordred to become a good King. Just like I would if I died under any other circumstance.”

“What has Uther done to deserve this alliance? Your power? What kind of message are we sending - that we will let ourselves be used, even though they’d kill us if given the chance?”

Gwaine was still downright fuming, Arthur couldn’t quite hold it against him.

“Uther has done nothing to deserve this, but Arthur has.”

This made said prince finally look Merlin in the eyes. 

“And his kingdom. They welcomed us, served and fed us. Spoke no ill words against us. I want their trust. And quite honestly, I want the upper hand in magic legalisation negotiations with Uther. So what do you say Arthur, do you accept these terms?”

He still hadn’t said a word, what was there to say? Merlin met his eyes and he felt the other’s burning into him, nevertheless he barely moved. A thousand thoughts were firing through his brain at once, he couldn’t decide on what to say. He felt blank.

Merlin sighed.

“Alright, show’s over then. Arthur we should discuss this privately, if you would follow me?”

“Now hold on -” Gwaine was about to rise again to protest, but was quickly held in place by just a look of Mordred’s (and Percival’s very strong grip on his shoulder). The protest died on his tongue and all they could do was watch the royal men leave the room.

 

Arthur felt hollow and stiff, as he followed Merlin through the foreign halls. Maybe he also felt overwhelmed and happy. Or terrified. Or thankful. Or relieved. Or very very much terrified.

The doors closed behind them and still there was silence. Again it was Merlin who broke it.

“Come now Arthur, don’t torture me like this. I thought this is what you wanted?”

This finally broke the dam.

“No! I mean- yes, of course, but this Merlin… I have a lot of conflicting feelings about this.”

Merlin nodded understandingly at him, as if there was anything to understand - Arthur didn’t even understand himself.

“I cannot tell you how grateful and relieved I feel as the Prince of Camelot. My people might not have to die and that is everything I prayed for. As your friend, I am so immensely proud and also very impressed. But just me Merlin? Honestly I’m terrified. I’m telling you this is a battle all of Camelot cannot win on her own. How can you be so sure you will be able to survive this, alone nonetheless?”

At this a smile broke out on the King’s face. He rolled his eyes dramatically before he stepped forward and took Arthus’s face in his hands. Still bewildered, all Arthur could do was stare back at him.

“You could have said that a little earlier, you know? I was starting to freak out about your silence.” Merlin murmured and when he looked at Arthur like that.. Oh what was he supposed to do? Not kiss him? Arthur was not strong enough to resist.

It was slow and passionate, all their yearning and their fear - everything they felt, they poured into this single kiss. But when they parted Arthur felt even less at ease. Merlin seemed to notice this.

“I’m not sure if that will calm your nerves, Arthur, but I promise that the magic you have seen me do so far - that is nothing compared to my real unleashed power. I know that this is kind of unfathomable to you, to anyone who didn’t grow up around it, but I am absolutely positive that I can take on this army and be the backup you need. I won’t lie, it won’t be easy and it will drain me for a good while, but I’ll bounce back. One little war… I’ve lived through worse.”

And god, wasn’t that sad? Arthur felt terrible for dragging him back onto the battlefield.

“But you shouldn’t have to.”

“Nothing either of us can do about it now, is there? Don’t dwell on it Arthur. “

Well, when Merlin put it like that…

Notes:

And?? Better? Worse? Hate it? Is it fine? I don't know, you probably don't either cause its been LITERAL years!

Well, see ya in the last two chapters, I love everyone who read this, especially the very sweet people begging me to finish this and well! It's finished lol.

Chapter 28

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Arthur rode back to Camelot the day after. Merlin and he agreed it was best Arthur prepare for the war back home and accompany his father on the travel to the border, maybe warm him up to the ideas of magic and its legalisation.

The Goodbye was hard though. Merlin watched their departure and stayed put far longer than he should. Gwaine joined him after a while, laying a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“I’m proud of you, for all it matters. Decisions like these are the reason you're a good king.”

Merlin smiled, laying his hand on top of his friend’s.

“Thank you for understanding, Gwaine. Your loyalty is what makes you a great knight, advisor and friend.”

They stay put for a little while longer, in silence until Merlin offers what really is on his mind.

“I just hope this isn’t the last time I got to hold him. Arthur is just a man - and this is war. I hope we both survive this.”

 

Arthur’s thoughts weren’t much brighter as he rode through the forest flanked by his knights.

Maybe it was just the melancholy in him, but as he missed Merlin he chose Lake Avalon as the place to rest for a few moments. But before they even reached the shore, Arthur halted.

“Something wrong?” Leon asked, trying to look behind where Arthur was staring.

“There’s a woman”, Arthur breathed, already dismounting hastily, Lance followed close after, while Leon stayed back. Hand on the hilt of his sword, Arthur inched closer, step by step. The woman was dressed in simple clothes, her hair wet though her body wasn’t, her eyes glued to the water.

“Stay here”, he ordered Lance, who complied silently, watching the prince as he stepped foot on the shore. The woman didn’t move, not until Arthur was right beside her.

“Who are you?” Arthur questioned, hand tightening around his sword, when he recognised the one in the woman’s hands. She kept her sword lowered, angling her head just a little to the side so she could take a rightful look at him.

“No need for that, Arthur Pendragon”, she spoke and her words were so full of trust and calm, Arthur had to lower his own hands.

“I see you know me already, might I ask for your name in return?”

The woman smiled, now turning to face Arthur fully. She took a few silent steps until they stood just an arms length apart.

“I have many names, but I’ve always preferred my mortal one. I miss the friends who called me Freya”, she answered. It sounded so light, yet Arthur felt struck.

“Freya as in the Lady of the Lake? Merlin’s Freya?”

At this her smile grew, eyes crinkling to hide just the tiniest trace of watery eyes.

“You listen to him well, Arthur, but I fear I have no time to dwell on the past. Still I am here for his sake.”

She gently lifted the sword, the blade resting lightly on her hands. And she offered it to Arthur.

“This is the sword that killed me. The beginning of the end”, Freya explained. “I will keep it short but this was forged for the Once and Future King of Albion. It was forged by Merlin and his dragon, a gift for King Cenred, a symbol for their future. But it did not yield to Cenred. It did not belong to Cenred. And for the first time he punished Merlin with more than words - more than physical scars. He punished him with my death. He was told to get rid of it - so he did. He gifted it to me, brought it here for me to keep safe. I don’t think he believed that the rightful owner exists. But I do. And I would swear on everything I have left, Arthur Pendragon, that it is you. Excalibur was always and will forever be yours.”

For a moment Arthur just stared down at the sword. Delicately crafted, the finest sword he ever laid eyes on. 

“It feels like a symbol of Merlin’s pain - I’m not sure I should have this”, Arthur finally sad and Freya just extended it even more to him.

“It is much more than that. It is a symbol of his freedom. The day Cenred used it - the day he chucked it in the lake is when he gave his freedom away. Please give it back to him - be the one to free him.”

Obviously Arthur couldn’t refuse a statement like that. So he simply took it, quicker than he could think about it, just in case he chickened out with all the ‘it denied Cenred’. Nothing quite happened. Sure it felt incredibly well crafted, perfectly balanced, practically singing to him, but no magic or anything.

“How do I know if it denies me?” He asked, you know, just in case.

“We would already know, you and I would feel it both, but it doesn’t. You are the Once and Future King, Arthur. The one destined to rule Albion.”

“Isn’t Merlin uniting the lands to form Albion?”

“The prophecy does speak more of you than him, but I don’t see why it couldn’t be both.”

Freya winked at him and Arthur grew embarrassingly red in seconds.

“Prophecy?” He barely stuttered out, but Freya interrupted.

“I’m sorry, I cannot answer all the questions you have. My time here is limited, and you have a war to prepare. Please send Merlin my regards, yes? And tell him that I do not, under any circumstance, blame him. I’m sorry I couldn’t speak to him. And I miss him terribly. Gwaine and Percy, too. Whole Essetir, to be quite honest. But no time anymore. You have to leave and so do I. Please, before I cannot hold myself together anymore.”

She starts pushing Arthur back, sword in hand she urges him off the shore. One step off, he turns to look at her one last time - but she’s gone, no trace. Not even footsteps in the sand.

 

“Do you always accept random swords from random ladies at a lake or do you have a death wish?” Leon asked exasperated as they continued their ride back home.

“Just when they are part of a prophecy I’m apparently part of and offered to me by a dead friend of Merlin’s as a symbol for his freedom”, Arthur answered. The silence after that was as telling as it was awkward.

Notes:

Here we go, second one! I am actually proud of the Freya scene, else I still can't tell if this is better or worse than my previous work.

Hope you enjoyed it though! Two more chapters to go!

Chapter 29

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Back in Camelot, Uther was delighted to hear that King Merlin was willing to open negotiations and come to Camelot’s aid in the war. As delighted as he was capable of being anyways. Of course he wasn’t informed that said aid consisted of Merlin and only Merlin. 

Arthur immediately started counting the hours to their negotiations.

 

The time had come, finally , Arthur thought. When Merlin arrived at the border about two hours later, he almost choked on his own tongue, to which he received a confused side glance from his father. Maybe he should’ve prepared better for Merlin looking battle-ready. In his own fitting armour he looked positively devastating. If there hadn’t been this many people around… He tried not to think about it. There was no time, not until after the war and there was a possibility that there was no time after the war . He should think about something else altogether. Like greeting Merlin like a normal human would. He’d stared for far too long.

“Good to see you again”, he settled on, gripping Merlin’s forearm in a knight-like greeting, the closest he allowed himself to come. Merlin smiled and reciprocated, but the look in his eyes sent shivers down the prince’s spine.

“You too”, he answered, and it felt much deeper and emotional than it should have.

They were ripped out of their little fairytale, when Uther stepped onto the scene, regal and grim - same as always.

Merlin’s smile turned almost wolfish, as he greeted the King.

“Thank you for agreeing to this meeting here King Merlin”, Uther gritted it out, it seemed to take quite a lot of willpower for him to say it. “Camelot is deeply grateful for your offering to aid us in these desperate times.”

“So I’ve heard”, Merlin answered lightly, gripping Uther’s hand. “Essetir is happy to help her neighbours and allies, but let’s cut to the chase, shall we?”

“I suppose we should - please, follow me.”

Uther led the King and his son to one of the larger tents his men set up, inside there was a small table ready, a map of the land spread over half of it.

“I will not waste your time, King Uther, I expect you can guess my conditions to come to your aid?” Merlin took his time getting comfortable at the table, knowing he had the King at his mercy.

“I believe so. Though I do not agree with your free use of magic, I recognise your request to save your kind from death.”

“As I will save your people from death, I don’t think that is such an unfair request.”

“I believe so“, he repeated, though it spunden tense. “So I offer you this in return: Any and every magic user that is caught practising the craft will be banished and sent to your kingdom. No harm shall come to them. We will offer another quarter of the forest to you, so you will have the resources to house these people. If they are caught committing a crime while practising the craft I withhold my right to rule as I see fit.”

For a few seconds Merlin appeared to consider this offer - then he burst out laughing. Arthur had a very hard time not joining him.

“Oh, Oh no, that is not nearly good enough. I demand you give shelter to the druids if needed, you give the sorcerers you send away enough riches to build themselves a life here in Essetir without having to rely on my people to catch them. I want them to be safe, but I am not responsible for people from your kingdom, that you decided just weren’t good enough. And you will not burn a sorcerer under any circumstance. The death sentence is to be carried out in a quicker, less painful way and you yourself shall be the executioner. I will send my men every now and then to report if you carry this out. In addition to this I demand the legalisation of healing magic, first and foremost. Everything that comes after we will discuss when the time comes and you have changed your mind about magic. But I do accept the part of the forest, I believe that is fair.”

Uther coughed, loudly. Paused. Stared. Cleared his throat.

“King Merlin, you ask a lot”, he said. “Even for the things you do for us - you ask a lot.”

Merlin smiled and shook is head.

“We differ in that, my Lord. I believe I’m still humble in my requests. If I weren’t I would demand the legalisation of magic, end. But I try to be as respectful as I can to you, so this is my offer. Take it and get my help, or don’t.”

“So this is no negotiation? You are shamelessly using this situation to your advantage?”

“Of course I do, don’t tell me you wouldn’t. But not only is this not a negotiation, King Uther, if you don’t follow this, I fear my plans to form an alliance will soon morph into plans to take Camelot for my own. Surely you’ve heard about my plan to unite the lands, form Albion? If this requires me to dethrone you, I will .”

The silence was deafening, the King stared.

Arthur felt stiff and nervous - of course he knew this was a possibility. He was involved in a plan that included dethroning Uther and putting Arthur in his place, should his father not see sense. Still he wished that for once his father would. Maybe just because he wasn't ready to be King. Maybe because Uther was his father.

When Uther still hadn’t answered, Merlin continued shamelessly.

“Make no mistake, Uther. I will not wait forever for you to legalise magic and give your kingdom to the rightful union of Albion. You will yield to me one day, but if you play your cards right - you might even get to keep being King of Camelot. Wouldn’t that be in your favour?”

This was the most powerful Merlin felt in a while. And god did that feel good . He saw it in Uther’s eyes, the second he mentioned Albion. Uther feared him. Uther knew there was no escape. And Uther knew there would be a time, where he needed to give up his throne, willingly or not. What he didn’t know was that Arthur was in on everything. That was about to change, even to Merlin‘s surprise. He hadn‘t thought Arthur to be ready to confront his father directly about, well, everything.

“If it is any consolation for you father, the throne would stay in the family. I have already agreed to Merlin’s terms and if you don’t, then I have no other choice but to take your place.”

Arthur ”, Uther suddenly bellowed, rage taking over his every muscle. “Betrayed by my own son, you dare threaten me? You dare try to take the throne from me? I could disown you, I could kill you for this!”

“Or you could play it smart - you have always talked about marrying me off to another princess from another kingdom to strengthen your politics”, Arthur answered unfazed.

Merlin took in a sharp breath. Was Arthur going to say what he thought he was going to say? Merlin was pretty sure he was.

He was.

“Well, this might be your favourite outcome yet, I wish to stay by Merlin’s side - marriage is a serious thought.”

Merlin gaped at him, pushing off his chair to meet Arthur eye to eye, as Arthur never sat down.

“You mean that?” He asked, studying him intensely.

“Yes, I promise. For what it counts, a certain Lady of the Lake told me I’m part of a prophecy that includes the both of us, stating I will be King of Albion. Gave me a sword.” Arthur grinned and whispered “It’s a really good sword. And Freya sends her regards.”

Merlin could have cried on the spot - Uther on the other hand looked about ready to explode.

“King of Albion?”, he pressed.

“Yes”, Merlin answered. “Oh my god, Pen dragon , I am so incredibly stupid. Allow me, King Uther, there is a prophecy that Emrys, the most powerful sorcerer to ever walk the earth, me, and his dragon shall unite the Kingdoms and form the land of Albion under the Once and Future King. You know, I do own two dragons, so I thought they were what the prophecy described - but I fear I may have been wrong. Arthur Pendragon - you might be the man destined to rule Albion. And I will gladly assist you in the unification of the lands.”

Arthur was grinning and about to answer, when a squire burst into their tent, breathing heavily, terror in his eyes.

“The war has begun”, he breathed, effectively startling the room into silence.

 

Merlin went rigid, as did Arthur. Only Uther started to move, leaving his seat to assess the situation outside.

“This is earlier than expected”, he grumbled and turned to Merlin, pained in every way.

“I accept your terms”, he stated. Merlin blinked.

“Really?”

“Yes, do you think I have the time to joke around in the face of war? I have no choice, we need your men to win. I’d rather deal with magic than have no Kingdom at all. Believe me, I am not happy and there will be further discussions about all of this, but for now I accept the demands you posed. Now get your men, there is a goddamn war!”

Merlin smiled triumphantly.

“All men are here.“

Notes:

Second to last chapter! Now it’s basically just the epilogue left!
I know it feels kind of rushed (I’m sorry but so will the war because damn I can‘t write good fight scenes anyway lmao) but I hope you still enjoyed it and will get some satisfaction out of the fact that it‘s finally finished!

Love,
Saturning

Chapter 30

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

War was as messy as Merlin remembered it. For all that had happened to him, this was what he was good at, what he was used to. And how comforting that no men of his were here to get harmed, no need to worry about Gwaine or Mordred or Freya.

Now it was just Arthur. But one man was easy to protect, even though the enemy was a thousand men stronger than anticipated.

 

After all, with Merlin at their side, the war was won. Men were lost and badly injured, Merlin himself was quite powerless at the end of it - but it was a spectacle.

At last their enemies surrendered, when King Merlin of Essetir, Emrys the Warlock and the last Dragonlord made use of his power, dragons roaring through the sky and burning the front lines in a matter of seconds.

Uther couldn’t look him in the eyes for the better part of the aftermath, Arthur on the other hand barely left his side, like a worried mother hen, while Merlin healed his magic wounds and exhausted soul. Gwaine and Mordred weren‘t much better and it was all a bit over the top, but Merlin wouldn‘t dare complain, not when he had such wonderful family caring about him like this.

Everything healed just fine in the end and Uther held his promise.

 

A year later magic was back in Camelot.

The people and the land were glowing with pride and happiness, even Uther couldn’t resist smiling at the magical fireworks.

 

Two years later a new castle finished building right by Lake Avalon. And on the shore a little ceremony was held, a wedding under friends, a unification of two great kingdoms and two men bound by destiny and love.

Notes:

So! I know the end is very short, I hope ur not entirely too disappointed by that, but I think I would’ve ruined it if I tried making it any longer. For me this feels like a fitting end, a peaceful one. Neither Merlin nor Arthur like to remember the war, so I found it quite fitting to not even be described in a meaningful way actually. But anyways!

I hope you enjoyed everything and wow I can‘t believe it’s finally done, 5 years it’s been I think? Crazy! Thank you to every single one of my readers, all the Kudos and Bookmarks and especially the comments! You guys were so sweet to me the entire time and I’ll very much miss interacting with the fandom in this way.

So this is goodbye for now!

Much much love,
Saturning (or Paula, if you’d prefer that :) )