Chapter 1: POISONOUS
Merlin/Eggsy, GEN | lets get started with some good 'ol hurt/comfort!
Merlin would have laughed at the scene before him if the quiet whimpers weren’t breaking his heart.
Eggsy sat on their bed, naked save for a ridiculous pair of bright blue boxers covered in yellow rubber ducks – a White Elephant gift from last year’s Christmas party. They were a few sizes too big, though their loose fit was an advantage today. The lower hem was pulled back as he gingerly applied cream to his thigh, whimpering quietly at the motion.
“Oh, lad,” Merlin said, dropping the pharmacy bag on the dresser and sitting beside him. He pressed a soft kiss to Eggsy’s forehead, taking his hands in his own and tucking his lad’s head to his neck.
"It’s so itchy Hamish,” Eggsy said with a pout, turning properly into Merlin’s embrace.
"I heard,” Merlin said, running a soothing hand down Eggsy’s back. “Picked something up from the druggist’s that should help.”
He bundled Eggsy into his arms, picking up the bag on their way to the en-suite. Sitting Eggsy on the toilet, Merlin started the water for a bath, ensuring the water was a few degrees cooler than their usual scorching. He emptied the contents of a sachet in the water, swirling it with one hand and reaching out with his other.
"Off with those pants,” he said with a grin.
Eggsy just narrowed his eyes as he stripped, standing naked as Merlin looked him over.
Merlin’s grin turned to a frown as he took in the rash covering the younger man. His chest, thighs, shins, even the tops of his feet were bright red. He lifted Eggsy’s arms, seeing another patch on the backs of his forearms. He sighed, pulling Eggsy into a quick embrace before moving aside to let him step into the tub.
"Oatmeal? How’s that supposed to help,” Eggsy asked, settling back in the cool water. “Gaius said there wasn’t much else you can do for poison oak.”
Merlin nodded, wetting a flannel and running it softly down Eggsy’s thighs. "Folk remedy. Oatmeal baths are good for chicken pox too.”
Eggsy tipped his head back, relaxing under Merlin’s touch. “Pretty sure there was no mention of poison oak in the info packet, Merlin.”
"We hadn’t planned on you escaping in your pants through poisonous shrubs, Galahad.”
Eggsy rolled his eyes, lifting his arm for Merlin to wipe down. “Don’t think any of us planned on the husband coming back early.”
They lapsed into silence, the quiet broken only by the dripping of water as Merlin moved the flannel up and down Eggsy’s body.
With a final pass through the rapidly cooling water, Merlin wrung out the cloth. He pulled the plug then stood, helping Eggsy to stand. He carefully patted Eggsy dry, mindful of the angry splotches covering the younger man’s skin.
"Gaius sent you home with some steroid cream, yes?”
Eggsy nodded, grabbing the duck pants and following Merlin back to the bed. “Was what I was putting on when you came home.” He stepped carefully into the boxers while Merlin pulled back the covers and propped some pillows at the head of the bed. He sighed, laying down on the cool sheets.
"Gave me a couple shots too, said I’d be out a week at least until the rash gets better.”
"I figured as much,” Merlin replied. He open the pot of cream, applying it carefully to Eggsy’s feet. He hummed quietly, working his way up Eggsy’s body. He could feel Eggsy relax under his hands, not surprised to see he was nearly asleep when he finished with his chest.
Opening his eyes, Eggsy felt the familiar warmth of Merlin at his side. He turned to his side, sighing when Merlin pressed against his back. He pouted when Merlin stopped his hand at his hip, but they both knew their familiar embrace would do more harm until he was fully healed.
Merlin nuzzled at his ear, pressing a line of soft kisses down his neck, acknowledgement and an apology for his light touch.
"Juggled some things around,” he said quietly, feeling Eggsy relax once again, “will be working from home the next few days.”
Eggsy hummed, leaning back to kiss Merlin. “My own private nurse? Maybe it wasn’t such a bad escape plan after all.”
Chapter 2: TRANQUIL
Eggsy/Merlin, & Daisy, GEN
Eggsy yawned, stretching out on the sofa before returning his feet to Merlin's lap. Enjoying the silence, he watched Merlin read, rubbing absently at his ankle. Hearing his stomach rumble, he tapped Merlin's book with his foot.
"Getting hungry? Thinking tacos, hopefully something she can do herself will finally please her.”
They agreed easily when Michelle asked them to look after Daisy, plans for a long overdue spa weekend with a couple of her girlfriends set for the upcoming bank holiday weekend. They normally loved having Daisy over, but the young girl had been in a strop for a good portion of their time together. It seemed nothing Eggsy or Merlin did was right, and her temper earned her a record four timeouts. With a remarkable amount of grumbling, they finally had her settled in her bedroom with a snack and a movie and had retired for a break of their own.
"That late already?" Merlin asked, glancing at his watch. "She's been so quiet, got lost in my book a bit longer than I expected.”
They both frowned, realizing nearly instantaneously how tranquil the last few hours had been.
Daisy looked up to the bedroom door, shushing her brother and Uncle Mish as they stumbled loudly into the room.
“Quiet,” she admonished, pushing a finger against her lips and pointing to the dog tucked into the toy cradle behind her. “JBs sleepin’!”
Daisy scowled at them both, turning back to tuck the blanket tighter around JB. She placed a smacking kiss to his head before pushing the men out of the room and closing the door behind her.
Merlin and Eggsy struggled to keep straight faces as the little girl shoved them down the hall and into the kitchen.
“You are so loud,” she exclaimed. “JB needs a nap so we have to be quiet!” Again she scowled, pressing her finger to her lips.
Eggsy nodded solemnly, repeating her gesture. Merlin mimed locking his lips and throwing away the key.
The girl nodded once with force, considering the matter resolved.
“I'm hungry,” she said brightly, “what's for dinner?”
Chapter 3: ROASTED
Eggsy & Harry, Merlin in a cameo appearance, GEN
Closing the oven door, Eggsy crouched down to look through the window, anxiously chewing on a thumbnail. Harry easily reached over him, tutting as he shut off the internal light. Eggsy frowned, the roasted chicken and veg disappearing from sight.
“Come now,” Harry said, patting Eggsy’s shoulder, “watching it cook will not make it taste any better. Besides, with my foolproof recipe it will be delicious.”
“Bet you never tested it out on a fool quite like me,” Eggsy said as he stood, turning from the oven and back to the counter.
Harry just rolled his eyes. “There’s still time for us to tackle the mousse,” he said, handing Eggsy a whisk.
Eggsy had little experience in the kitchen, but as with most things when offered patient clear instructions, he was gaining skills swiftly. They moved easily around each other, gathering ingredients for the dessert and working to finish the treat. Once done, he carefully placed the ramekins in the fridge, closing the door with a sigh.
“Trust me, Eggsy,” Harry said, running water in the sink, “this is a no-fail, delicious dinner. He will be impressed.”
Eggsy gave him a weary grin. “He’s just such a good cook, Harry. Is roast chicken gonna be enough?”
Harry smiled back, squeezing his shoulder. “You could make him a cheese toastie and he would love it. This? He’ll be over the moon.”
Eggsy flushed, rolling his eyes.
“Now go,” Harry said, pushing the younger man towards the hallway. “Get cleaned up and I’ll finish here. And yes,” he said, interrupting Eggsy’s incoming protest, “I’ll check the chicken one more time before I leave.”
“Thank you, Harry,” Eggsy said over his shoulder, pausing in the doorway. “I couldn’t have done this without you.”
“Nonsense, my boy,” Harry replied, giving him a final shove. “You could have handled this perfectly on your own, but I am more than happy to have helped.”
Hearing the shower start, Harry hummed to himself as he tidied the kitchen, drying the dishes and checking again on the chicken. A quick glance at his watch had him smiling, and he did one last thing before heading out the back door.
Eggsy emerged from the bedroom not long after, his face breaking into a giant grin at the perfectly set table, complete with lit candles. He just managed to send a text – srsly harry ur the guv – before the doorbell rang.
His grin grew impossibly larger when he opened the door, finding Merlin on his step.
“Not late, am I?” Merlin asked, allowing himself to be tugged inside.
“Right on time,” Eggsy replied, pressing a kiss to his temple.
Chapter 4: SPELL
Eggsy & Merlin, T (for language) | based on this comic that makes me laugh way too hard
Eggsy ignored the bead of sweat rolling down his temple, his brows drawn together in concentration. He focused on the words of the spell written on the parchment before him. Gathering his will, he made the required handforms, directing his power down his arms, through his hands, releasing the spell with final grunt of exertion.
He winced at the flash of light, blinking a few times to clear his eyesight.
“Eggsy, what did you do.”
“It’s not my fault Merlin, fucking cursive isn’t it? No one can read cursive anymore.”
They both looked down to the circle at Eggsy’s feet, an overly large lemon sitting neatly in the centre of the star traced inside the circle.
Chapter 5: CHICKEN
Eggsy & Tequila, Eggsy & Roxy, GEN | At this point we're really just throwing canon out the window.
“What are you, chicken?”
Tequila rolled his eyes. “What’re you, eleven? And that’s got nothing to do with it. I’ve just grown fond of my balls attached to my body.”
“Come on, bruv,” Eggsy cajoled, “it’ll be totally easy. Ginger puts her clipboard down. It’s way harder for me.”
Tequila grinned. “I hear he actually sleeps with it.”
“It stays on our dresser, thank you very much. He’s got more important things to focus on than his clipboard,” Eggsy said, waggling his eyebrows.
“Alright then,” Tequila drawled, “let’s talk details. First one to get photographic evidence holding Ginger or Merlin’s clipboard by what, the end of the day?”
“I’ll go easy on you, bruv. Let’s say by the end of the week.”
“Go easy, my ass,” Tequila said, leaning back in his chair. “Now then, stakes.”
Andrew stifled a laugh that Roxy made no attempt to stop. She was in tears by the time Eggsy made his way across the shop floor.
“It’s not that funny Rox,” Eggsy grumbled, removing the cowboy hat and running a hand through his hair. He straightened a bit, a show of ease he really wasn’t feeling at the moment.
Roxy stepped forward, knocking a boot with her foot and flicking the saucer-sized belt buckle at his waist. “Let me guess, Tequila got the pic first?”
Eggsy huffed, swatting away her hand. “In like half an hour! I was still trying to track Merlin down and he sends it.” He dug in the pocket of his overly tight Wrangler jeans, tugging out his phone.
“Look! He totally cheated.”
Roxy took the phone and laughed. Pictured was Tequila, holding Ginger’s clipboard, a sheet of paper reading “I WIN” clipped to it. In the background was Ginger, smiling mid-wave.
“It was supposed to be all superspy covert shit and he just goes and asks her!”
“That sure is a hard lesson to learn, pardner,” Roxy said, voice thick with an atrocious Southern accent. “Sometimes darlin’ a superspy only has to ask to get what they want.”
Chapter 6: DROOLING
Eggsy/Merlin, GEN | civilian AU
Eggsy followed Merlin into the townhouse, a bit overwhelmed with the place. He knew Merlin worked at that tailor on Saville Row, figured he was well off, but this? This was really fucking posh. He barely had a chance to get his bearings before he was knocked back against the door.
A large bundle of fur bumped into his stomach, followed by a low ‘woof’.
“You didn’t tell me you had a dog,” Eggsy said with a laugh, hands immediately finding their way behind the dog’s ears.
“Have I really not mentioned this drooling monster?" Merlin replied, giving the St Bernard’s rump a shove.
“Heel,” Merlin commanded, finally freeing Eggsy from the dog’s affections, waiting for the dog to circle around him, before sitting at his left side.
“Eggsy, Mac. Mac, Eggsy. Go on,” he said, looking down to the dog, “introduce yourself.”
At the command the dog moved to sit at Eggsy’s feet and offered a paw to shake.
“Fuck me,” Eggsy exclaimed, stooping a little to shake the offered paw. “JB’s just got the basics, but that is proper impressive bruv.”
Merlin smiled, chest puffing in pride. “Come on,” he said, turning from the door, Mac at his heels, “we’ll give you the tour."
Chapter 7: EXHAUSTED
Merlin/Eggsy, Merlin & Harry, T | warning for off-screen major character death. This one's gonna hurt, kids
"Good work Tristan, we'll see you back at HQ in a few hours."
Merlin closes the connection, pushing back from his desk. Propping up his glasses, he rubs at his eyes, willing away some of the tension in his neck and shoulders.
"If I have to hear about his god damned irises one more time." He smiles, hearing Eggsy snort behind him.
"Did he get into soil PH levels? Swear down, he starts talking about dirt and I'm out faster than an amnesia dart."
"PH levels, benefits of clay pots over ceramic, differences between water filtration systems," Merlin drones. "I was this close to letting that second goon squad have their way with him."
"That's not funny, Merlin," Eggsy scolds, voice instantly serious.
"No, you're right love," Merlin agrees, dipping his head in apology.
He rights himself, leaning his elbows on the desktop, rubbing at his temples. "You know I'd do anything to bring an agent home." His voice breaks and he takes a shuddering breath. "Anything."
He's quiet for a time, the soothing hum of computer equipment enveloping him like a blanket. The quiet is broken by the soft clicking of shoes on tile, the familiar pace of his oldest friend approaching. Harry's pause when he enters Merlin's office is minute, but Merlin hears it.
"Arthur's here to coddle me now, lad," Merlin says over his shoulder, shaking his head. "He should know I don't need to be coddled."
"Merlin," Harry says softly, "you're exhausted." He reaches to squeeze the patch of leather on his shoulder. "You need to go home."
He feels Merlin tense and he winces, reconsidering his words. "All right, if not home then at least upstairs. Use one of the empty suites and get some rest."
"No, Harry," Merlin snaps, shaking off his hand. "I'm not leaving yet, you know I'm waiting for an update on Eggsy's mission."
Harry sucks in a breath when Merlin's eyes meet his own and he involuntarily takes a step back. Dark circles rim wild eyes, cheekbones stark against greying stubble.
"Hamish," he starts carefully, "you have all the information on Eggsy's last mission. There won't be any more updates."
Merlin looks to the sofa Eggsy's sitting on to point out just how wrong Arthur is … and he frowns.
The sofa is empty.
He swears he was just talking with his lad, they were complaining about Tristan's fucking irises.
He looks up to Harry, close once again, with confusion in his eyes. "I don't understand Harry, he was just here."
"Eggsy didn't make it out of the warehouse, Hamish," he says gently, holding Merlin's hands in his own. He sees tears spill from Merlin's eyes, feels his own fall, but continues.
"The headcount was off, and he went back in. He got the last refugee out but wasn't fast enough to beat the timer."
Harry shakes his head, wishing it wasn't the truth, but he has to say it. For himself, for Hamish. "Eggsy's not coming home."
Harry's heart breaks when Hamish wails. He pulls his oldest friend to himself, holding him close, caring not for the tears staining his suit. It is a long time before the quiet hum of machinery can be heard again in the office and only then does Hamish allow Harry to lead him away.
Hamish can't help a glance over his shoulder to the sofa, gasping at the cheeky wink tipped his way from the last face he expects to see.
I had this idea of Merlin going a bit mad if Eggsy died, seeing and talking with hallucinations. I think this sort of works? Merlin's characterization is all over the place but he kind of IS all over the place here.
Chapter 8: STAR
Eggsy groaned, tilting his head to give Merlin better access to his neck. He slid further down the sofa, dragging Merlin with him. He moaned as Merlin settled between his legs, the friction against his cock so good and yet still not quite enough.
They’d taken it slow, both of them feeling this thing between them was worth more than a quick shag and the night had been perfect. Merlin had cooked them an amazing meal—yet another item to add to the list of reasons he was falling for the man—and now they were snogging on the sofa like teenagers.
Eggsy was surprised when Merlin started unbuttoning his shirt, whatever protest he would have given abandoned when Merlin licked at a nipple. Merlin worked his way down his chest, licking and sucking at freckles and moles. Eggsy shivered when Merlin unbuttoned his jeans, lifting his hips allowing Merlin to pull them free.
He whimpered when Merlin paused, his breath a brutal tease on his hard, leaking cock.
“And what’s this?” Merlin asked, tracing a finger over the small nautical star tattoo almost hidden behind neatly trimmed pubic hair.
Eggsy huffed a laugh. “It’s my lucky star.”
Merlin cocked an eyebrow, looking up at Eggsy. “Lucky how?”
“Anytime anyone sees it I’m getting lucky, aren’t I?”
Merlin laughed, leaning up and kissing him sweetly. “Oh, my lad. You’re definitely getting lucky tonight.”
Chapter 9: PRECIOUS
Merlin & Eggsy, GEN
"You know you're ridiculous with that thing," Eggsy said, nodding at the clipboard he and Merlin both had a hand on. He tugged again, another futile attemp to wrest the clipboard away from Merlin's solid grasp.
Eggsy huffed a sigh, pouting a bit as Merlin tapped at the device. "Are we not worthy," he said, affecting his best Received Pronunciation, "to even touch your precious clipboard?"
"Yesss, my own," Merlin hissed, "my preciousss."
Eggsy barked a surpised laugh as Merlin stroked a finger along the well worn steel clasp.
Merlin squinted at Eggsy, hugging the clipboard to his chest. "We loves the precious. We wants it. We needs it. Must have the precious."
"All right, all right," Eggsy said, rolling his eyes, "I get it. I'll leave you and your precious alone."
Eggsy was sill laughing halfway down the corridor, the sound of hoarse "gollum" sounding coughs following him down the hall.
Chapter 10: FLOWING
Eggsy, Harry, GEN | vampire AU?
Eggsy wakes slowly, groaning as his mind struggles to make sense of his surroundings. He aches all over, his pounding head shooting stabbing pains when he opens his eyes in the dimly lit room. Closing them again he takes a few slow deep breaths, attempting to calm down and figure out just how badly hurt he is.
He immediately realizes he’s tied to a chair, hands and feet both secured with no wiggle room. Deep breaths mean no broken ribs, he thinks, but he can feel blood flowing freely from a pair of deep cuts to his chest.
He’s startled when a door opens, his eyes flying open despite the searing pain in his head.
A tall, well-dressed man stops just inside the door, breathing deeply. He sighs in pleasure on the exhale, a little shiver running through his body.
Eggsy steels himself as the man glides across the floor to the chair in the middle of the room. He shudders when he sees the man’s eyes: they are fully black from corner to corner.
“Oh, yes,” the man purrs, running his tongue over slowly descending canines, “you’ll do quite nicely.”
Chapter 11: CRUEL
Harry closed the door behind him, and smiled, hearing the soothing sounds of a crackling fire. He hung up his jacket, and untied his shoes, his smile growing wider when he stepped into the sitting room.
"Hello love," Merlin said fondly from the sofa, setting his tablet on the coffee table. "Long day for you, wasn't it?"
Harry went easily to Merlin's side, sighing heavily as an arm wrapped around his shoulder. "Very long day," he agreed, accepting the gentle kiss Merlin placed on his lips. "I fear I will never catch up on that damned paperwork," he groused, shifting in Merlin's embrace and placing a hand on his thigh.
“Perhaps you need an incentive,” Merlin said, raising an eyebrow as Harry slid his hand further up his thigh.
“If there was something tangible to work towards,” Harry said, moaning as Merlin kissed and nipped his way down his throat, “it wouldn’t seem such an interminable task.” He shifted to straddle Merlin’s lap, head leaning back as Merlin loosened his tie, sucking a mark under the collar.
They both paused at the whimper heard across the room. Merlin looked over Harry’s shoulder, eyes glinting at the sight of Eggsy, naked and bound to a dining room chair. His skin shone in the firelight, a fresh pulse of precome glistening as it leaked down his flushed, hard cock.
“He’s certainly been well behaved,” Harry said when Eggsy whimpered again around the gag in his mouth, futilely struggling against the ropes circling his chest. “We don’t have to be cruel.”
“You forget, my love,” Merlin growled, tipping Harry back, exposing the long line of his neck to the struggling lad behind them. He grinned fiercely, bending to bite Harry’s collarbone. “He loves it when we’re cruel.”
Merlin scratched Mac’s ears as he led Eggsy through the main floor of his flat. It had been a while since he’d had someone new in the house, and he was feeling a long forgotten pride for his home.
Eggsy lingered in the sitting room, taking a good look at the picture frames lining the mantel. “Fuck off, you have a dog and you were in the forces?” he asked, eyebrows raised in disbelief. “Here I thought you were just a standard IT nerd." He snorted, pointing at another frame. “Is that Harry?” He thought he recognized the tailor, as frequent a patron of the coffee shop as Merlin was, though this Harry was much younger and with ridiculously fluffy hair framing his face.
“It is,” Merlin replied, picking up the frame. “Did a stint with Greenpeace after I mustered out.” He smiled at the picture of he and Harry, twenty years younger, standing arm in arm under a “Save The Whales” banner. “Met Harry there. He was doing his bit of familial rebellion. It was with them where I really got into computers, realized I was better suited fighting behind the scenes than at the front.”
He returned the picture to the mantel. “We stayed close,” Merlin continued, nodding to the remaining pictures of grinning faces, aging as they progressed down the shelf. “He brought me into Kingsman a while back and we haven’t looked back since.”
“He’s your best mate, yeah?” Eggsy asked, looking up with a fond smile.
“He is,” Merlin answered simply, smile matching Eggsy’s.
“All right then,” Eggsy said, knocking his shoulder against Merlin’s, “what other secrets you going to show me?”
“Come, lad,” Merlin drawled, rubbing his hands together, “to the kitchen.”
Chapter 13: GUARDED
Merlin & Eggsy, GEN
Despite rumours to the contrary, Merlin’s given name was not a closely guarded secret. Nor was anyone killed upon discovery of said name. In all honesty most people were too intimidated or afraid of the quartermaster to ask and were happy to refer to him by his codename.
And, also contrary to rumour, Merlin wasn’t ashamed of his name. Hamish Fitzroy Mackenzie may be a mouthful, but it was a family name and a reminder of the little family he had left. His school chums had taken to calling him Fitz, due to the dearth of Hamish’s in his year. Fitz was also what the handful of Kingsman personnel brave enough to ask called him on off hours.
Eggsy surprised him with a new tactic: instead of asking outright, wheedling his mentor or digging in the archives he began a campaign of wild guesses.
“Good day, Galahad,” Merlin greeted, coming across Eggsy at the bullet train.
“Hello, Mike,” Eggsy replied with a grin.
“Not even close, lad,” Merlin said, shaking his head with a laugh.
And so it went, for longer than Merlin expected.
“Good morning, St John.”
“Do I look like a Bilal?”
“Plans for lunch today, Hamish?”
When Merlin didn’t immediately reply, he looked up from his phone to see Merlin just … blinking. “Merlin,” he asked, concerned he may have broken the quartermaster with all his wrong guesses, “you okay?”
“No one’s called me that in a long time, lad,” Merlin finally replied, fond smile on his face. He stood, extending a hand towards Eggsy. "Hamish Fitzroy Mackenzie."
"Gary Unwin," Eggsy replied, grinning widely as he shook Merlin's hand. "Pleasure to meet you."
Chapter 14: CLOCK
Eggsy & Jamal, Chester King, T (for language) | College AU
Mr. King frowned at the commotion in the classroom. “I dismiss you, not the clock,” he pronounced, looking from the clock across the room to his students packing their belongings away. He waited until everyone was settled, waited a few moments longer, then allowed them to leave.
“He does realize we’re actual fucking adults, doesn’t he?” Eggsy asked, as they walked down the corridor.
“Chester King? Fuck no,” Jamal replied, rolling his eyes. “He’s so old, he probably assumes every student is a kid that needs to be taught a lesson.”
Eggsy laughed, stopping at the stairwell and checking his watch. “Fuck, I’m gonna be late for Merlin’s lecture now.”
“Ooh,” Jamal teased, “can’t be late for Merlin’s class. Gotta be right up front to get the best view.”
“Fuck off,” Eggsy snapped, giving him a shove as his cheeks reddened. “History’s interesting, okay. I just like the class.”
“Yeah, you like his arse, too. Get going then,” he said with a laugh, shoving Eggsy towards the stairs, “don’t want to be late.”
Eggsy gave him a two-fingered salute as he started downstairs. Making his way to his next class, Jamal calculated the days left until the end of term. There was still time, he decided, to get his best mate’s head out of his arse. He smiled to himself, parking his ideas to convince Eggsy the attraction was mutual and get him to act on this crush, and opened his notebook.
Chapter 15: WEAK
Merlin/Eggsy, implied Harry/Other (we'll get to that), GEN
Eggsy stood in front of the hall mirror adjusting his bowtie. It had taken four youtube videos and seventeen attempts but he finally got it. “Come on babe,” he shouted over his shoulder, “Harry will never forgive you if you’re late to his wedding.”
He turned when he heard Merlin finally leaving the bedroom and he stopped breathing.
He was really fucking glad he insisted on the hall bench, otherwise he’d have been on his arse when his knees went weak at the sight before him.
Merlin was a vision striding down the hallway. Long legs clad in dark tuxedo trousers, midnight blue velvet jacket, dark bowtie at his neck. He looked up from fiddling with his cufflinks when he heard a thump.
“Eggsy, lad,” he asked, rushing to Eggsy when he saw the slack look on his face. He knelt at his feet, taking a hand in his own. “Are you okay? What’s wrong?”
Eggsy shook his head, trying to get his brain to work again. “Fuck,” he said when the synapses finally fired, cupping Merlin’s cheek with his free hand. “You’re beautiful,” he whispered.
Eggsy felt the blush rise to Merlin’s face, smiling as he leaned in to kiss him.
“And you are learning too much from your drama llama mentor. Seriously,” Merlin asked, “you swooned? Who swoons any more?”
Eggsy laughed, kissing each of Merlin’s red cheeks, before kissing him softly on the lips. “When your boyfriend is already fit as fuck and then stuns you with a suave as fuck tux? That’s when you swoon.”
Merlin shook his head, standing and taking Eggsy’s hand. “Come on, can’t be late.”
Merlin sipped his glass of champagne, surveying the dancefloor from the head table. The ceremony had been lovely, both grooms surprising everyone with their vows: Harry’s two syllables too many to be a haiku and Michael’s closer to an ode, both heartfelt and full of love.
He watched agents and staff, family all of them, dancing to the slow music. He found Eggsy at the sound of his laugh, Roxy grinning devilishly in his arms. He took a moment to look his fill without being caught. Eggsy looked amazing in his tux, the angular lines of the bowtie somehow making his jawline even more strong. The young man was flushed with happiness and hadn’t stop grinning all evening.
Merlin felt someone sit beside him and raised his glass in a toast. “To a long and happy life.”
Percival clinked his glass with Merlin’s, both drinking in silence for a while. He followed Merlin’s glance, smiling at his niece whispering in Eggsy’s ear, their laughter carrying over the music.
“How long until we’re here for you two?”
Merlin chuckled, emptying his glass. “Funny you should ask,” he said, patting at a pocket at his chest. “I’ve been waiting for the right moment. How long will Harry pout, do you suppose?”
Percival saw a flash of uncertainty cross Merlin’s face. “Hamish,” he said, meeting his eyes and clasping his shoulder. “It doesn’t have to be tonight, but know that Harry and I will be happy to share our day.”
Merlin gave him a grateful smile, reaching up to squeeze Percival’s hand. He nodded once, patting his chest again, and stood. Percival smiled when he met Harry on his way to the dancefloor, a few quiet words exchanged while they hugged. His smile widened as Harry approached the table, and he dipped his head back to accept a kiss.
“Hello, husband,” Harry said, taking Merlin’s seat. “Did he tell you?” he asked, nodding towards Merlin and Eggsy, hand in hand, making their way off the dancefloor. “He wanted to be sure I would be okay with him asking today." He looked back to his husband. “I’m really not that bad, am I?”
“Of course not, my love.”
Harry squinted at the too-quick reply, the expression fading to a loving smile when Michael took his hand and placed a kiss to the new gold band on his finger. He entwined their fingers, dipping his head to rest on Michael’s shoulder as an arm came around his waist. He lifted their hands, kissing both rings, sighing with happiness as they both watched their family and friends celebrate.
Chapter 17: SWOLLEN
Roxy gasped, lifting her head from her uncle’s chest. “Uncle Michael,” she whispered, watching Eggsy enter the ballroom, eyes red and a dazed look on his face.
Percival completed their turn in time to see Merlin following Eggsy, swollen lips in a beatific grin lighting his face. “Don’t worry, Little One,” he replied, smiling down at her, “all will be revealed.”
Roxy frowned, both at the pet name and with a desire to go to her clearly upset friend, but Percival hugged her tightly and they finished their dance. As soon as the song was over she made a bee-line to the corner table Eggsy, Merlin, and Harry were huddled around.
“Explain,” she demanded, voice stern as she looked from Merlin—grinning like she’d never seen—to Eggsy—eyes still red but the dazed look replaced with a grin similar to Merlin’s.
“Roxy,” Michael chided, finally catching up to her, “give them a chance to enjoy it before they spill.”
“Hey,” Eggsy said, poking Merlin in the ribs. “Can’t believe you told them before me!”
Roxy caught a glittering flash as he moved his hand. “He didn’t," she said, eyes widening.
“He did,” Eggsy grinned, beaming up at her.
“He didn’t," Roxy said, this time to Harry.
“I’m not that bad,” Harry wailed, pouting until Michael came to his side to kiss the pout away.
“Aye, I did,” Merlin declared, taking Eggsy’s hand in his own. He leaned in, kissing Eggsy with still-swollen lips.
“And I said yes,” Eggsy agreed, lifting their hands to show off the ring.
I didn't mean for these to be so connected, but I suppose that's what happens when you get an idea in your head at work (and also feel weird writing smut while at a workplace)
Chapter 18: BOTTLE
one-sided Merlin/Eggsy, T | Warning for dark!Merlin. Nothing explicit, but he's not a good guy here.
Merlin stared at the video feed, tablet clutched in hands. He allowed the soft patter of rain on the roof of the car to calm him as swapped feeds from a city CCTV camera to one inside the pub.
His breath caught in his throat when he saw Eggsy take a long pull from the bottle his hands, Adam's apple bobbing with each swallow. Fuck he's beautiful, Merlin thought, switching feeds again. He zoomed in get a better look, frowning when he saw the sad look on his lad's face. Merlin quickly tapped into the Met's system, confirming his scheme was still going according to plan.
There was a connection between them, he and Eggsy. Merlin felt it in his bones and he knew his lad felt the same way. Knew the only reason Eggsy didn't act on it was because he was a professional, that he wouldn't want to make Merlin uncomfortable at work. He loved his lad for that and knew he needed to make the next step in their relationship.
He had monitored Eggsy's communication, with the rest of his cohort, while they trained but instead of removing the software--as he did with Roxanne when she was knighted--he installed additional software on Eggsy's tablet, computer, and personal phone. He was only looking out for his lad, he knew Eggsy would appreciate him taking care of him this way.
Merlin was disappointed to see Grindr show up on his phone, even more so when he saw dick pics sent as well as received. When he saw plans for a meeting exchanged, Merlin took action. Perhaps he had gone too far, tracking down 11inchman69, planting that kiddy porn on his computer and tipping off the Met, but on further reflection he decided he would always take care of his lad, there was no such thing as too far when Eggsy's life was at risk.
After checking the cameras at the detention centre one last time, Merlin stowed his tablet and adjusted his jacket. All Eggsy needed now was to see Merlin outside of Kingsman, as a man and not just a quartermaster, and everything would fall into place. He patted his pocket, checking the vial was still in place. He likely wouldn't need to use the drug, but had it in case his lad needed that extra push to come home with him.
With a smile he locked up the car and headed into the pub
Chapter 19: SCORCHED
Eggsy & Roxy, Charlie and Digby too, GEN | Avatar: The Last Airbender! AU
Eggsy stepped back from the mat, watching Roxy finish her stretches. He looked around the room, impressed with the pair of agents tossing a boulder back and forth, and rolled his eyes at the sound of Charlie grunting behind him. His gaze returned to Roxy as she moved in a line across the mat. She moved smoothly, shifting forms as the fire shot from her arms. She turned back towards Eggsy, winking as she sent a spray of sparkles dancing around him.
Eggsy's laughter faded when he heard a yelp from behind him. He turned to see Digby on the ground, clutching his arm to his chest, whimpering in pain.
"Quit your whining," Charlie said, towering above him, "it’s not that bad. You should have blocked that easily, you prat." He stepped back when Eggsy approached, frowning when he saw him kneel at Digby's side.
Eggsy prodded carefully around the scorched skin on Digby's arm, tutting at the damage. He uncapped his water bottle and concentrated, hands moving carefully.
Digby sighed in relief when the water wrapped around his arm, sagging a little when it started to glow.
"A healer? I should have known you weren't a proper bender," Charlie sneered. "Who exactly did you suck off to get your spot?"
“Fuck off, Charlie,” Roxy growled, stepping close. Eggsy moved his arms, the water pulling from Digby in a jet, circling behind them and hitting Charlie square in the stomach. Charlie fell back with a grunt, landing in a wet pile on the mat.
Eggsy grinned at Roxy’s bark of laughter, checking Digby’s arm one more time before standing. He offered a hand to the gobsmacked man, tugging him to his feet.
“Thank you, Eggsy” he said, slightly emphasizing the correct pronunciation while running a hand over his now healed forearm.
“No problem, bruv,” Eggsy replied with a shrug. He went easily when Roxy pulled him into a hug, heading to the showers with the sound of a grumbling Charlie behind them and grins firmly affixed to their faces.
Chapter 20: BREAKABLE
Merlin/Eggsy, M | post TGC spoilers
"I need you to fuck me."
Eggsy raised an eyebrow, grinning as he looked between their bodies to the cocks currently in his hand. "Is that not what we're doing Merlin?" he asked, continuing his slow slide up and down the hard flesh.
"This is sex," Merlin replied, all too matter of fact for Eggsy's liking. "Lovemaking," he groaned as the younger man rubbed his thumb over the head of his prick. He reached up to Eggsy's neck, pulling him close for a filthy, messy kiss.
"I need you to fuck me," he growled.
Eggsy pulled back, slowing his hand, frowning at the man below him. "I dont want to hurt you," he said, running his free hand down Merlin's thigh, resting it lightly above the scar tissue where his leg ended at the knee.
"You won't," Merlin assured him, reaching for Eggsy's hand and entwining their fingers. "I'm not the man I was, but I haven't turned into some fragile, breakable thing." He kissed their fingers, bringing them down between their bodies. He shifted his hips, pushing Eggsy up and off, sliding their hands down, fingers tracing the ring of muscle between his legs.
"I need you to fuck me," Merlin pleaded. He had been coddled and fussed over and he was done. He willed Eggsy to understand, to see even without a leg, he was still the man he loved.
"You'll tell me if I go to hard? No being a hero," Eggsy said, seeing relief and eagerness cross Merlin's face.
"Yes, lad," Merlin said, reaching for the lube. "I promise. Now fuck me already."
"That certainly hasn't changed," Eggsy said with a laugh, "still bossy as fuck."
Chapter 21: DRAIN
Merlin/Eggsy, GEN | A/B/O dynamics
Eggsy gripped the bottle in his hand, staring at the toilet. “This is it babe,” he said, tipping the contents into the bowl. “No going back now, I suppose.” He pushed the button, watching his suppressants swirl down the drain.
“Eggsy, no!” Merlin exclaimed, striding across the bedroom to the en-suite. He was hit by a blast of despair and pain, Eggsy’s distressed scent filling the small room.
“Oh, lad,” he said, hearing Eggsy’s whimper and pulling him in to his arms, “that’s not what I meant.” He kissed the omega’s temple, attempting to soothe the younger man.
Eggsy whimpered again, arms wrapped tightly around Merlin. He calmed when Merlin scented him properly, the spicy scent of his alpha overpowering the sharp tang of his distress.
“I want nothing more than to have a family with you,” Merlin whispered, bringing a hand up to stroke his omega’s cheek. “I only meant it’s not good to flush drugs down the toilet. We could have disposed of them at HQ.”
Eggsy’s cheeks flamed under Merlin’s caress. He shouldn’t have doubted Merlin; they were both eager to start a family, they had talked of little else these past few weeks. “I’m sorry Merlin, how we did it back home,” he said with a shrug. “Won’t do too much damage, will it?"
“Not too much, no,” Merlin replied, smiling fondly and running a finger over Eggsy’s mating bite. “Come,” he said, letting his hands drift down to the omega’s backside. “It’s too early to take, but how do you feel about getting in some practice?”
Eggsy grinned, eyes gleaming as he nipped at Merlin’s neck. “I think we need a lot of practice.”
Guess who's nearly caught up? This gal!!
Chapter 22: EXPENSIVE
“Happy birthday dear Merlin,” Eggsy sings loudly, setting the platter down in front of Merlin, “happy birthday to you!”
Merlin grins, rolling his eyes at the truly ridiculous amount of candles stuffed onto the small cake. He watches them flutter and after a nod from Eggsy, closes his eyes, makes a wish, and blows them out.
“What’d you wish for?” Eggsy asks, reaching for a knife and plucking a few candles from the cake.
“Can’t tell you or it won’t come true,” Merlin answers with a wink. “Oh, lad, you didn’t have to,” he says, frowning when Eggsy pulls a small gift-wrapped box from the side table. “Dinner with you is more than enough.”
Eggsy shrugs, replacing the cake with the present. “It wasn’t expensive, and besides, everyone should have a present to open on their birthday.”
Despite his scolding, Merlin tears into the gift, bits of wrapping paper flying. “Eggsy,” he says, wide grin breaking across his face when he reveals the Kermit the Frog funko figure, “it’s perfect!”
Chapter 23: MUDDY
Eggsy startled awake, bracing himself against the dashboard as the Land Rover turned on to a muddy track. “Are we there?”
“Nearly,” Merlin replied, smiling as Eggsy wiped at his eyes, taking in the change of scenery. He had fallen asleep shortly after their stop outside Liverpool. He couldn’t blame the lad; the chance to get away had come up suddenly and they packed up the Rover shortly after debriefing his last mission. Merlin was impressed he lasted as long as he did, but was glad of the company. It had been too long since he had been up to the house.
Eggsy stared out the window, taking in the low clouds and long rolling hills. “You taking me to Skyfall?”
Merlin snorted. “Nowhere near as grand, and no staff either. Just us.”
“Good,” Eggsy said with a wink. He gasped as they crested a rise, the sight of a glass and stone home jutting out as if by magic from the bluff before them.
“Not grand my arse,” he exclaimed, shoving Merlin’s shoulder. “Merlin, it’s amazing!”
Merlin’s smile was wide as he pulled into the drive. “And its all ours for four whole days." He took Eggsy’s hand, leading them to a path beside the house, ending at an exposed stone terrace.
Eggsy shivered, the wind whipping around them, and Merlin wrapped his arms around him. He shook his head, gripping Merlin’s arms at his waist. “It’s perfect, Hamish, just like you. A bit of sleek, a bit of wild.”
Merlin grinned, pressing a kiss to the top of Eggsy’s head. “Come on, lad. We’ll build up a fire, get you warm.”
Eggsy turned in his arms and nipped at his chin. “Can think of better ways to get warm.” He shrieked when Merlin pinched his arse, laughing as Merlin chased him back to the house.
Chapter 24: CHOP
Merlin & Eggsy, GEN | a wee bit of crack
“I’m sorry, Galahad. Did I just hear you shout ‘judo chop’?”
Eggsy snickered. “You’ve see this place, Merlin. He’s gone full Doctor Evil over here. The get ups these henchmen are wearing? Absolutely ridiculous!”
Merlin rolled his eyes. “So you’ve decided going full Austin Powers is the best course of action. Is that right?”
“Course, gov! These blokes hardly require deadly force. JUDO CHOP! What do you want to bet he’s got some sort of private lair with a big swivel chair over a pond with like … piranhas?”
“He seems more of an electric eel sort of chap to me.”
I just couldn't help this. The only thing that came to mind was Austin Powers and his Judo CHOP. so you get a bit of crack XD
Chapter 25: PRICKLY
Merlin rubbed at his eyes, waking slowly. He frowned at the odd sensation at his side, frown deepening when he recognized the prickly feeling as Eggsy’s shins pressed against his hip.
It had been a long time since Eggsy’s last nightmare, longer still that Merlin didn’t wake at his husband’s distress. Merlin reached with his free hand, brushing damp fringe from Eggsy’s sweaty forehead. Fully awake he was able to see Eggsy curled nearly foetal at his side, clutching tight to his arm. He hummed to sooth the whimper when he pulled his arm free, turning to his side and tugging Eggsy into his arms.
“It’s all right, love,” he whispered, running a hand down Eggsy’s back, lifting his head allowing the younger man to burrow into his chest. He hummed softly, waiting until Eggsy’s breathing evened out and his body relaxed.
“Want to tell me about it, mo chridhe?”
Eggsy looked up, eyes glistening with unshed tears. “Poppy. You didn’t make it. We went home without you.”
Merlin kissed him gently. “But I did. We did come home together. A little worse for wear, but together.”
Eggsy sighed, stretching out and pushing Merlin onto his back. He pressed his ear to Merlin’s chest, the strong heartbeat clearing away the last fragments of his nightmare.
“Can you sleep?” Merlin asked, hand tracing random patterns along Eggsy’s shoulder.
“Don’t know,” he answered honestly. “Will you sing to me?”
“Of course, lad.” Merlin sung, low and quiet, and before long Eggsy was asleep in his arms. He hummed to himself a little longer, slowly following him to sleep.
Chapter 26: STRETCHED
Merlin/Eggsy, E | this is just pure smut
fuck he looks beautiful on his knees need him at my feet always forever obscene how good he looks lips stretched around my cock choking fuck his tongue deadly weapon license to kill with that mouth oh fuck gorgeous lad that’s right take it yes take it all choke on it my gorgeous slag take every inch fuck just like that you gorgeous boy so fucking good at sucking my cock don’t think I see you naughty lad see you rubbing yourself off while you suck my cock oh fuck lad so close that’s right come with me yes fuck
Chapter 27: THUNDER
It had been a gorgeous summer afternoon, too lovely to spend their day off inside. They prepared for a long walk in the park, Eggsy growling when Merlin appeared in shorts and a t-shirt (he never thought he’d have a knee kink, but fuck he loved Merlin’s knees). They both were unprepared for the sudden downpour as the returned home, Eggsy scooping up JB as they dashed for their flat.
It was Merlin’s turn to growl when Eggsy stripped off in the hallway, wet clothes dropped in a pile by the door. Later, both sated and dry, they cuddled on the sofa, listening to the storm rising outside. At the first clap of thunder Merlin jumped, jostling the book Eggsy was reading.
“You nod off?” Eggsy was surprised when Merlin turned, burrowing his head into his stomach. “Merlin, what's wrong?"
"It's nothing," he replied, a bright flush rising in his cheeks, pinking his ears. He jumped again with another peal of thunder, closer this time. "I don't like thunder storms," he mumbled, tugging restlessly at the hem of Eggsy's t-shirt.
"Oh, babe," Eggsy said, running a soothing hand down Merlin's side, "I didn't know. What can I do?"
Merlin looked up at Eggsy, shy smile on his face. "This helps, you being close."
Eggsy smiled, moving them around a bit on the sofa, Merlin's legs now across his own, and pulled him close. He pressed a kiss to the soft skin of the older man's head, hugging tighter when Merlin shuddered at another clap of thunder.
"Don't worry love, I'll keep you safe."
Chapter 28: GIFT
Merlin/Eggsy, GEN | Continues in the Coffee Shop AU ’verse from DROOLING and WHALE
Eggsy wiped down the espresso machine, checking his watch and getting a few supplies ready. He was counting out to go cups when the door opened, ready with a quip for the paralegals taking an early break, when he saw Merlin at the door of the coffee shop. He looked a little weary, a little rumpled, and tugged a wheeled suitcase behind him.
“Merlin!” He dried his hands on his apron, coming out from around the counter. He hesitated as he approached the other man. Merlin had been out of town for little over a month—the tailor's shop setting up a new location in Hong Kong—and while they talked often while he was away, Eggsy was unsure how to greet the man.
Merlin beamed as he approached, and was having none of Eggsy’s uncertainty. He pulled Eggsy into a hug, inhaling the familiar sweet scent of his shampoo. “It’s good to see you lad.”
Eggsy stepped back, holding Merlin at arm’s length. “Wasn’t expecting you until tonight.”
Merlin moved away from the door, pulling Eggsy and his suitcase to a table. Eggsy nodded his assent, sitting across the table. “That was the plan, yes. Couldn’t wait any longer to see you.”
Eggsy blushed, knocking his knee against Merlin’s under the table. “Missed you too. You pick up Mac yet?”
Merlin shook his head, digging in his carry-on. “Not yet. Wanted to give you your gift first.”
“Merlin,” he chastised, “you didn’t need to get me anything.”
Merlin set a small box in front of him. “It reminded me of you,” he said simply.
Eggsy’s blush deepened, and he rolled his eyes before opening the box. “Merlin, it’s beautiful,” he gushed, pulling the small Fabergé style egg from its wrapping. “This better not be real.”
Merlin watched Eggsy turn the black and gold jeweled egg in his hands. “I like you Eggsy, but not that much.”
Eggsy laughed. “Thank you, Merlin. It's lovely.”
They chatted a little while longer, until the 3 PM rush started filling the shop.
"Should get back to it," Eggsy said, nodding to the familiar paralegals in line at the counter. "And you still need to pick up Mac."
They both stood, Merlin gathering his bags. "We still on for dinner?"
"Course! Bringing JB though, he missed Mac something fierce."
Merlin grinned, wrapping an arm around Eggsy's waist. He pressed a soft kiss to his lips, sighing when Eggsy's hand slid up the back of his neck. "Missed you too, Eggsy."
"Go on," Eggsy said, bumping his hip. "Go get your drooling monster. I'll see you later."
He watched Merlin leave the shop, waving when he looked back one last time.
"All right, ladies," Eggsy said, rolling his eyes at the playful jeers coming from the counter. "Show's over. Mary, you want whip today?"
Chapter 29: DOUBLE
Merlin & Eggsy, GEN | surprise Bridget Jones crossover! (-ish)
“Holy shit, Merlin. You clocking this?”
Merlin frowned, Eggsy’s feed showing a mirror across the bar. “Aye, Galahad, I am.”
Eggsy nodded to the bartender, turned with martini in hand, and looked across the ballroom. He spotted the tall man halfway across the room, looking awkward as he made small talk with a small group of people. Eggsy pulled out every spy trick in his book but fuck it was hard not to stare. He could have been Harry’s double, his fucking twin.
“Arthur’s still in Geneva at that convention, right? You didn’t decide I needed backup on this?”
Merlin snorted, typing furiously to identify this Harry look-a-like. “No Galahad. Even you can handle a simple hand-off on your own. Seems he a lawyer, Mark Darcy.”
“Looks like Mr Darcy needs a rescue, I’m going to say hello.”
“Mission first, Galahad. Then you can go make friends.”
Eggsy rolled his eyes, searching for his mark. “Yes, Merlin.”
Chapter 30: JOLT
Eggsy & Merlin, GEN | soulmate AU
Eggsy had been furious, realizing he was the one without a parachute. There wasn't much he could do in the air, pushing that aside to save his fucking life. But once on the ground the fury raged in him. He thought Merlin was a good man, not like the rest of the posh twits he'd seen at the Estate. He didn't play favourites, treated everyone the same. He'd grown to respect the quartermaster, and a big part of him was hurt that Merlin would chose the chav as the expendible candidate.
His fury was burned right out of him when Merlin brushed his cheek against his own. He barely heard Merlin's words--get that chip off your shoulder--as a jolt of energy coursed through him. It was just like his mum said, like everyone said, that first touch of your soulmate.
He was flung back and as his arse hit the ground a flurry of thoughts raced through his head. I'm not expendable, I did have a 'chute, holy fuck he's my soulmate. Eggsy grinned, big and goofy, as he watched Merlin stride back to the manor.
Chapter 31: SLICE
Eggsy/Merlin, GEN | Civilian AU, Getting together?
Eggsy reclined in the lounge by the pool, basking in the bright sunshine. He hadn’t planned on doing much over his vacation--sleeping and playing Red Dead Redemption 2 were top of the list--but when he got the email from Roxy about an insane deal to spend a week on the beach in Majorca? Fuck videogames, he had his swimsuit and sunnies packed in seconds.
His eyes found the stranger as he made his way to the pool. Eggsy had a thing for tall blokes and spotted him early yesterday after arriving, but this man was beyond fit. He was glad he packed his mirrored sunglasses, allowing him to check out the tall, tanned, lean man as he stepped up to the diving board.
Eggsy’s mouth watered as the man stretched, then set himself before diving in. He watched unabashed as the man sliced through the cool, blue water, taking the length of the pool in one breath.
Eggsy would deny the whimper when the man reached his end of the pool, and in one smooth motion lifted himself from the water. Droplets sparkled on his tanned skin, dripping down short swim trunks that left little to the imagination.
Eggsy shook his head, aware suddenly of the man’s gaze raking along his body. He watched him take a few long paces and settle in the chair beside him.
“The water’s great,” the man said by way of introduction, turning a little to face Eggsy, “but nothing beats the ocean. Care to join me for a dip in a little while?”
Damn, Eggsy thought, tall AND Scottish? Eggsy silently sent a thanks to Roxy for sending him that email and grinned. “I’d be glad to. I’m Eggsy.”
“Hamish,” the man replied, shaking Eggsy’s offered hand. “Eggsy, eh? Seems we were destined to meet, Ham and Eggs and all that.”
Fuck it, he thought, I’m on holiday aren’t I? “I know I definitely taste better over breakfast after a long night.”
Hamish grinned, cocking an eyebrow. “Is that right? Might have to take you up on the offer.”
HOLY FUCK I'M DONE! And only a day late! This last prompt had me the most stuck out of all 31 and I'm just so happy to have it finished! YAY ME!!