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Throw Me a Boner

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“Come on, B… give us the deets.”


“Come onn!”

“Let it go, Faith!”

“Hey, no need to get defensive…”

“Then leave it alone!”

“Just sayin’, you had the bang to end all bangs, literally soul suckin’ good sex! Throw me a bone.”


“Throw me a boneR.”

“Faith!” Buffy’s indignant shriek was ruined by a fit of giggles. She pressed her face against the pillow in a vain attempt to smother the laughter, but Faith had already heard it and pounced.

“You know you wanna dish. ‘Sides, isn’t that what girls do at a sleepover? Talk about their boo-boos?” Faith’s eyelashes fluttered weirdly, like she was attempting an innocent, enticing expression. It did not suit her.

“I wouldn’t know,” she continued deviously, “I NEVER had ANY friends to paint my nails and share secrets…”

“Oh my God,” Buffy groaned. “You’re evil.”

“Nah, we haven’t fucked yet,” Faith’s shit-eating grin was too much, and Buffy laughed -again- completely against her will.

The sleepover had actually been Joyce’s idea: Buffy’s mom had needled her until she grudgingly extended an invitation to the other Slayer to spend a night of fun and cookies 'chez Summers'. Buffy had been reluctant at first but she had to admit that Faith was… kinda fun to hang with.

“All right, all right,” she began, surprising herself with the sudden decision to humour her new friend, “but you’re gonna be disappointed.”

“No way! B, you screwed the undead--that’s gotta be hella kinky.”

“Yeah, not so much with the kinky. Plenty of Hell afterwards though,” Buffy said darkly.


“Yup. I mean, it was pretty… straightforward. Not that it wasn’t-you know-good, it totally was!” She added quickly, sending a mental apology to Angel.


“Well, it was… you know. We kissed and… we sorta… did it?” Buffy blushed furiously.

“Jesus, two hundred years of experience and that’s the best he could come up with, just an ordinary fuck?” Faith laughed. “Don’t tell me it was missionary, too… oh, shit!” She completely lost it and exploded in a roaring fit of laughter, having correctly interpreted the expression on Buffy’s face.

“Shut up!” She snapped, crimson, but despite her annoyance she couldn’t help but join in the laughter, too. It felt weird to joke about it, like they were just two regular friend discussing a first time with a regular guy. Something inside her felt suddenly lighter.

“Serious talk though, B. Was there foreplay?”


“Oh my God, you shoulda’ve let me stake him!”

“No, I mean, there was! He used his, um, fingers to, y’know,” at loss for words, Buffy waggled her fingers in a suggestive motion. Faith grinned at her embarrassment, then rolled her eyes.

“Well, good to know he wasn’t completely useful but… not even a little oral? You’d think a vampire would know how to suck…”



“He offered, ok? But I said no. I was… a little nervous, like, not too nervous because I wanted it, but it was my first time so I also wanted to… get on with it.”

“Yeah, I get ya.” Suddenly, Faith sat straighter on the bed. “Wait. Wait. Hang on a sec.”

“What now?”

“Are you seriously telling me you never got any mouth-to-pussy action?”

“Ladies and gentlemen, here is Faith: the Tact Slayer,” Buffy said, very much failing to keep her blush from spreading.


“Okay, I haven’t. Jeez, it’s no big deal…”

“It most certainly is. Come here,” Faith ordered, flopping back on the bed.

“What the huh?”

Faith’s grin turned positively lecherous, and she licked her lips wickedly.

“Hop on the bed, B. Mama’s gonna have a taste.”

Buffy did not think it was possible to turn redder, but she was wrong. Her skin burned hotter than a vampire’s at high noon, and she looked everywhere but at Faith.

“Um. Er. Uh…” She spluttered, trying to come up with something--anything--coherent. Her mouth and brain definitely did NOT collaborate.

“I mean it. It’s something every girl should experience! Come on, we’re hot, young and single-why not?”

Why not, indeed?

Buffy felt lightheaded. Never in a million years had she imagined this scenario, and yet she couldn’t deny that she was curious. It was something she’d never thought she’d get to do ever, now that Angel was out of the picture, and now that the chance was within reach she felt nearly dizzy with longing. She had never pictured herself as the kind of girl who’d engage in casual messing around with friends, especially girl-shaped friends…

...But the barely visible scar on her neck tingled faintly, the terrible reminder that life was short and even something as frivolous as knowing what a tongue felt like against her lady bits could be forever out of reach, unless she seized the moment and carped the diem…

“i’m in,” she said. Faith’s face lit up with mischief.

“All aboard, then,” she beckoned.

At her mother’s insistence, Buffy had left her bed to Faith and settled on the floor with a sleeping bag. She stood, with some trepidation, and hooked two hesitant fingers on the waistband of her sleeping shorts.

“Would it help if I made chicken noises?” Came Faith’s sarcastic comment.

“I don’t think that’s high on my list of turn-ons,” Buffy answered dryly. Shaking off any second thoughts, she shimmied off her shorts and underwear in a single motion and climbed on the bed, settling astride Faith. Knees firmly planted on either side of the other girl’s head, Buffy felt her stare directly at her quim and shifted nervously. She would never admit at being intimidated, but a thousand thoughts flitted through her head. Did she smell weird? Was she sufficiently groomed? Were her lady bits somehow... wrong? Before she could voice any thoughts or back down though, Faith leaned forward and swept her tongue over her opening, swift, warm, wet. The sensation was so unexpected, so bizarre, so fundamentally *thrilling that Buffy let out a breathy moan, barely above a whisper, and adjust herself over Faith so she was closer to her face-and to her tongue.

“Buckle up, Buttercup,” Faith winked from below her, looking impossibly at ease in the most awkward of situations, “it’s gonna be a hell of a ride.”

“Do your worst,” Buffy shot back, “and do it again.”

“On it, boss!” Faith grinned, and went to work.

At first it felt mostly… kind of weird. Buffy had touched herself before, sometimes, and obviously there had been the Angel thing (she was NOT going to think any more about the Angel thing) but the combination of Faith’s hot breath, the moisture of her tongue, the occasional brush of her teeth were all exquisitely new to her, and Buffy had to adjust to it, intermittent flashes of pleasure interspersed with the massive eek factor of the situation--namely, Her Female Frenemy Had Her Mouth Against Buffy's Genitals, Oh-My-Gosh. Then, gradually, the pleasurable sensation intensified, outweighing any residual awkwardness about the situation, and just as Buffy was letting herself start to enjoy it, even lean into it a little bit, Faith happened to hit a particularly sensitive and heretofore unknown spot.

“Ngh!” Buffy would have been embarrassed by the incoherent noise she made, had she not been too busy grinding down on Faith’s mouth, riding the wave of absolute melt-y goodness that hit her just then.

She didn’t even realize that she was possibly squashing her friend until Faith’s hands came up unexpectedly, gripping her tights and lifting her slightly so she could breathe. Buffy made a nose of protest but she wobbled and flailed, just unbalanced enough that Faith could hold her off.

“Whoa, easy there, B!” Faith laughed and licked a trail of thick, semi-transparent moisture off her lips. Buffy belatedly realized that it was her lady juice and nearly apologized for… leaking--there really was no other word for it--all over the lower half of her face, but Faith seemed unbothered, even pleased.

Still, “Try not to snap a bitch’s neck, ok?” she reprimanded. “I’m trying to do good work down here!”

“Yeah, sorry, sorry, just… keep going!” Buffy snapped, unable to contain her impatience. Her hips jerked helplessly towards Faith’s lips, which really needed to be back to their task.

“You’re even bossier in bed,” Faith remarked smugly, but obliged her. Before resuming her lickalicious ministrations, though, she bit Buffy’s inner thigh playfully and Buffy yelped; she had honestly not known she’d be so much into that.

Wowza, it was even better now that she got past her initial squeamishness. It was a good thing that Faith kept hands firmly on her tights, pushing back against her when she needed to breathe or adjust the weight on her face, because Buffy was rapidly losing control of herself. She found that she loved being on top like that, sitting astride Faith’s face: it was a position that allowed her to move a great deal more than she’d had in the past, and she was not a passive person by nature--she rocked enthusiastically against Faith’s mouth, chasing the friction, nearly bouncing whenever something felt nearly too good. She breathed noisily, mouth open, grinding erratically and gasping loudly in the quiet of the room.

Her orgasm was long and draw out. It was so intense she couldn’t do anything but thrust her hips aggressively into it, chasing the sensation, but it also spread all over her skin in a full-body shiver that had even her scalp tingling. When it ended, she tumbled inelegantly to the side.

She felt jelliefied all over. Her lids were heavy, but she wasn’t sleepy. On the contrary, she felt almost energized yet strangely calm. She registered the mattress moving, and then the ends of Faith’s heavy hair hit her face: the other girl had reversed their positions, looming over her with a self-satisfied smile. Her chin was still damp, but Buffy couldn’t really feel self conscious while she was still basking in the afterglow.

“Soo,” Faith drawled, “On a scale of one to ten, how’s sex with the living?”

“Shut up,” mumbled Buffy, with no real venom behind it.

“Aww, don’t tell me you’re going to be a dude about it, just rollin’ over and fallin’ asleep!”

That woke her up. Buffy sat up straight, with some difficulty. “Nah, I just needed--a moment. All yours in a sec.”

“Really, now? You gonna learn to return the favor?”

“Yup.” Buffy sounded perhaps more confident than she felt, but even in her contentedness there was just no way she was going to let Faith have the upper hand here. She would lick the smugness right off her face--sort of. Yes.

“Alright then,” Faith murmured seductively. She was smiling though, more gently than Buffy would have expected. “Show us who’s the Slayer, B.”