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Mending mistakes

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As a true Slytherin, Severus should have a plan for every single possible outcome. However, the situation fell far beyond his wildest calculations. How could he have possibly known that his failed potion would send him back in time to his ten-year-old self?

He had three options: he could confess to being a time traveller and end up in the Department of Mysteries as their pet experiment, he could try to figure out how to return to his time on his own or he could enjoy the second chance he had been given.

The choice wasn’t that difficult.

He would be starting Hogwarts soon and he wanted to have pleasant memories of his school years instead of having them filled with the pranks and humiliation that the Marauders forced on him. Especially now that he had been fused with his younger self, who was so excited to make friends and be happy.

So he should change what had made the other students reticent to even talk to him without disgust. Severus stared at the mirror, studying his reflection: his black hair was extremely greasy, his pale skin was dehydrated to the point it was peeling and his teeth were yellow. He was physically repulsing.

The first time around he had refused to try to improve himself out of some sort of wrapped sense of pride and he didn’t even bother to consciously try to figure out how to do it. However, now he knew it wasn’t worth it. People relied on physical appearance; it was practically imprinted into their very being thus he needed to change to be accepted.

He fingered the wand he had stolen from his mother; she wouldn’t notice its absence for she was sleeping. He knew a spell that would whiten his teeth and another that would degrease his hair. But he didn’t know how to hydrate his skin since they didn’t have enough money to dilapidate on creams. Maybe he could brew one using the herbs in the neighbourhood? He started to think about the herbs he had seen until he came up with a good combination.

He casted the spells at a low level with a bit of difficulty, unused to his magic as a child, since he knew it would be considered freakish by his father and questionable by his mother if his teeth were suddenly sparkling white and his hair silky. Plus, it would be suspicious for him to know such spells. He analysed the changes in his appearance, he was slightly less off-putting.

By the end of the year, his teeth would be completely white, his hair silky and his skin soft and healthy. It wasn’t that big of a change but it would improve his image a lot, especially because he wouldn’t come across as “dirty”.

In his childhood, he had had lots of problems caused by his appearance, not only was he poor but he was also dirty. That’s why even though Remus Lupin, who was as poor as him, had managed to make friends. His ill temper after hearing the whispered taunts had certainly not helped him in that endeavour. But this time it would be different; he would make friends and create some wonderful memories.

He left the bathroom and sneaked into his parent’s room, it was pitch dark and the muggle’s snoring was only interrupted by his occasional babbling. He tried not to make a sound because if his father caught him he would be in for a beating.

He slipped his mother’s wand under her pillow, trying not to take notice of the fact that she was naked and that he could spot more than a few bruises. His mother could take care of herself, besides it was her own fault for not abandoning his father due to pride.

She didn’t want to admit that her pureblood parents had been right about Tobias and thus condemned them both to the muggle’s ire and violence. In his last childhood, he had never resented his mother until her death had revealed that his grandparents had offered to welcome her back if she divorced the muggle and married a pureblood. They had even said they would welcome him, although he would never be a possible heir.

Eileen had foolishly refused, granted around that time Tobias wasn’t as violent as he was now. But still, he would slap her so hard she fell to the floor, punch her occasionally and take her forcibly. He had shown all signs that it would escalate and it had been obvious he would target Severus as well.

Therefore, it was logical Severus would feel bitter towards his mother. She had sentenced them both to bear the muggle’s grudge. Tobias was actually a squib, so he should probably stop calling him muggle. That was another discovery he had made after his father’s death. The man was a squib and he had lived with his Wizarding family up until he was eight years old. It was no wonder he hated his wife and child who had magic when he had been abandoned for not possessing it.

Despite how reasonable his parents’ behaviour could be seen when analysed objectively: Eileen, the pureblood daughter taught that she couldn’t fail, facing failure and Tobias, the abandoned squib, snubbed by his wife’s and child’s magic. He still hated them. They had ensured to make his childhood hell.

But they wouldn’t ruin this second childhood, he was sure of it because back then he had cared and he no longer had such a silly emotion towards his parents. He wouldn’t feel guilty for spending all his day outside, out of Tobias’ reach leaving Eileen to bear the brunt of his rage even if his younger self did feel remorseful about the turn of events.

He wouldn’t do it again like he had in the past, attracting his father’s attention so that he would stop beating his mother. As far as he was concerned, she had brought it up on herself and his reckless actions in the past hadn’t moved her enough to contact her parents to take them away. Besides, she could use magic to defend herself if she was in dire need.

He slid into his bed thinking about his future. Did he want to continue being friends with Lily? His redhead friend might be kind and clever, but she was also self-righteous and a downright hypocrite. Looking back, when he was with her, he had acted adoringly as though she was some sort of goddess and she merely talked to him because she liked the reverent way he treated her.

He still remembered how she had stopped being friends with him because of his friendships with purebloods that insulted her, and yet she had been dating the brat Potter who had made his life a living hell for six years and she knew it! It had been convenient for her to stop being friends around that time too, since she was starting to become popular and she didn’t need Snivellus to pull her down.

He decided to let her drift away and make her a mere acquaintance. There was no need for heart-breaking dramas this time around. Should he be resorted to Slytherin? Being a half-blood in Slytherin had certainly contributed generously to making his life terrible but in the end, the decision was up to the Sorting Hat. With that in mind, he was welcomed into Morpheus’ arms.