Work Header

I suck at romance

Chapter Text

“Can you feel this?” Lucina asked Shulk.

The blond didn’t know how to answer. It was his first date with Lucina and she just had to ask some weird ambiguous question. Chrom and Robin had warned him that Lucina was not a normal girl, especially when it came to dating. She had a terrible sense of humor. It was so bad that she didn’t even laugh at Marth’s jokes and she worshiped Marth. She also had a terrible sense of fashion. The only reason she wasn’t wearing a freaky dress was that Robin had chosen an outfit for her.

Shulk took a deep breath. He couldn’t let the date get awkward.

“I’m really feeling it!”

“Really? I’m so glad!”

Everything was going fine. For now. Shulk couldn’t help but worry that something might go wrong. In the Smash Bros universe, everything and everyone was weird. Almost everyone was out-of-character and could do stuff they couldn’t canonically do. Except for Ganondorf, they really didn’t want to let him use his real powers for some reason.

“Hey, Shulk? What do you think our future will be like?”

“Our future is ours to decide.”

“You’re right.”

The waiter came to get couple’s orders. At least that’s what the couple thought. The waiter was actually a spy sent by Robin and Chrom to check on the date. He had one job and that was to make sure Shulk didn’t make Lucina cry. He wasn’t sure how long Shulk was going to last. All he was saying were his taunts and victory quotes. The waiter felt bad for the blond, poor guy was so nervous.

After having the main dish, it was dessert time. The couple ordered two ice creams.

The waiter came running with the ice creams but he tripped. The ice cream scoops flew out of the bowls. They elegantly traversed the air before finding themselves on a blue dress belonging to a blue-haired princess. The whole restaurant stared at the waiter with shock.

Lucina ran out of the restaurant crying. Shulk paid the bill and chased his girlfriend.


Shulk found Lucina sulking in her room. She had taken a shower and changed into her usual outfit. She was really upset about her ruined dress. Her mother had bought it just for her and she had ruined it.

Shulk comforted his girlfriend by telling her that the dress could easily be washed. He wasn’t actually true but it seemed to do the trick. They spent the rest of their evening in the Smash Mansion’s living room playing video games unaware of the long line of fighters waiting to watch the new episode of The Walking Dead.


Meanwhile, the waiter was busy being scolded.

“You had one job, waiter! One job!” Robin yelled with a voice full of so much anger that you’d think Grima possessed her.

“Honey, calm down,” Chrom said in an attempt to calm his wife down, “It’s just a dress.”

“This waiter made our daughter cry on her first date!”

“I’m sure she’s over it by now.”

She might be over it, but Robin sure is not. It ended up being a long night for the waiter. At least he was losing his job for a rational reason, unlike the previous waiter who had been fired over liking a tweet by Waluigi.