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Hogwarts' Public Secret

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Almost everyone knew of the secret book about Potter and Malfoy. Rumour had it that it was first started by a romantic Ravenclaw, who passed it on to her Gryffindor friend, but nobody would admit to being the one who wrote the now famous first line. Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy are totally in love.
Whoever it was, they'd since been met with nothing but approval, and keen observers wrote down every detail about the suspected couple they noticed.

 

-Harry was talking about Malfoy again, I heard him say his name to Hermione and Ron. Ron rolled his eyes and Hermione shook her head. They are so fed up with him.
-Draco keeps staring at Potter. He stared at him for twenty seconds straight during breakfast. I counted. Get over it already.
-Did you see what happened in Potions today? If that wasn't a cry for attention, I don't know what it was.
-I am positive Ginny Weasley is a beard.
-Pansy says Draco kisses like a wet cloth. He's not into it. At. All.
-Have you noticed how Harry always tries to fix his hair when Malfoy's near?
-Draco spent two days trying to make a song about Potter.
-I am about ready to push their stupid faces together.

 

Eventually, the remarks evolved into elaborate theories about the duo's suspected secret love life, illustrated by lively and sometimes rather explicit sketches on every other side of the page. It was common knowledge that the only students who didn't actually know about the book's existence, were Potter and Malfoy themselves.

 

It was an accident waiting to happen.

 

“What do we have here, my sweet?” The breathless caretaker muttered, picking up a thick notebook that lay abandoned in the hallway as a group of students hastily retreated around a corner.
“Illegal publications?”
His hideous cat hissed at him, her head tilted with a knowing expression in her soulless eyes.
“My oh my, the headmistress will surely let me hang them in the dungeons for this....”
He cackled elatedly as he looked at the scandalous images.
“An abomination!”
Filch shuffled up the hallway, making his way to the stairwell. A whooping noise sounded and he was knocked off his feet by a heavy sack of flour, covering the poor old man head to toe in white powder.
A familiar cackle echoed through the castle hallways.

 

“Woooooooooo!!! It's been centuries since I read good pornography!”

 

Who knew Peeves could be such a romantic.