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Forgiven

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Veronica took a deep breath as she held her hand over the handle of a door labeled “Inpatient Care”. Opening this door, at least, in Veronica’s eyes, would lead her down a path she basically considered hell. It would take her through painful memories and regrets, yet a part of her knew she just had to do it.

Veronica took a quick look at herself. She wore a grey skirt matched with a white undershirt covered by a blue coat. She looked almost identical to who she was before everything happened, before hell hit. The only difference now was a blood red scrunchie held her hair together in a loose ponytail. It was, in her own opinion, her battle scar, her way of saying “I survived”.

She took another breath, this time closing her eyes. She didn’t want to look as she yanked the door open. It was fluid, fast movement and honestly, Veronica opened her eyes sooner than she wanted to. She looked down the long corridor that lay in front of her. She sighed and proceeded to walk slowly down the hallway.

“Room 126,” Veronica muttered this to herself as she came across a split. She instantly took a left and continued searching for the dreaded number.

It should be noted that Veronica found her destination a little quicker than she would’ve liked.

Upon looking at the room number on the door, Veronica felt torn. A part of her wanted to rip the door and kill the patient in the room, and the other part of her wished she could just forget everything terrible that had happened. But she couldn’t do either, as she came here to fulfill a purpose, and fulfill that purpose she would do.

She moved her hand towards the door handle but simply stopped. She couldn’t bring herself to open the door; the trauma still too fresh in her mind. She felt a tear drip down her cheek, then another, sooner than she knew it, tears were pouring out of her eyes like rain. She felt her mouth open as she choked out a sob.

Almost as if someone was listening to her through the door, it flew open and in the entryway stood a female with brown hair and green eyes. The girl was easily identified as a nurse, as she wore a white dress with a small little pocket on top of her left breast. Upon seeing Veronica crying she frowned.

“Veronica Sawyer,” The nurse spoke softly, not wanting to upset Veronica beyond what she was right now. “Is everything alright?”

Veronica took a deep breath and wiped away her remaining tears, “Yes, I’m fine, thank you.” The nurse nodded and stepped out of the doorway.

Veronica peered into the dark room, in the middle of it laid the source of all her problems, the reason her life had been so fucked up in the first place. Her ex (Or as she would call him, her ex piece of shit) boyfriend, Jason Dean.

Upon seeing him lying there in the medical bed, his typical attire replaced by a blue and white hospital gown, his black hair laying flatly across his forehead, in a peaceful state of slumber Veronica swore she felt her tears coming back.

“He’s been improving, ever-so-slowly,” Veronica looked over her shoulder to peer at the nurse. “More than physically, too.”

Veronica cocked her head, “How so?” She croaked, the words nearly dying in her throat.

“Once he was awoken out of his state of comatose, he was into several therapies, including one for anger and aggression,” Veronica looked back at JD. There would be no way in Hell she could believe he would ever improve from the terrible person he was, it almost sounded like the nurse was telling a fabricated lie. A fabricated lie that Veronica still listened to. “The therapist says he’s been finding other ways to cope with his grief,” The nurse paused and averted her gaze away from Veronica’s back. “I’ve heard that he really loves you.”

It was this statement that nearly threw Veronica over the edge. JD loving Veronica? Please, the closest thing JD had to love for Veronica would be blood lust, she wouldn’t let herself believe that he actually cared.

“I doubt that.” Veronica muttered, but the sound was still heard by the nurse.

The nurse instantly understood what Veronica had meant and left instantly.

Veronica sighed and shut the room door behind her. She groped the wall to find a light switch, wincing slightly at the bright yellow light that shone down from above.

In the light, Veronica could make out JD’s face more clearly. It wasn’t that she actually wanted to get another look at him, it was just that because in the light, a very noticeable feature was scattered all over his face. Scars. Scars, that no doubt, came from the bomb JD blew himself up with. Despite the fact that Veronica hated him, she still felt a pang of guilt surge through her.

Sure, Veronica could sit down with someone and rant to them for hours about how much she hated Jason Dean, and that if she could get a reset button on her senior year, she would press it with no hesitance, but there was a time where she did love him. He wasn't all murder and violence, Veronica shared many tender moments with him, one of the most memorable ones was after the double date disaster she had been on with Heather McNamara. He came down to the cow field and picked her up, telling her, "Our love is God" and then taking her to get a slushie.

Jason Dean wasn't all bad, and if he had tried harder to control his anger, Veronica could very well have still considered him her lover. But that wasn't what happened, now was it? Veronica shifted her gaze away from his face, not wanting to look at the past any longer.

She took a seat in the only chair in the room. It was a small blue chair, sat directly next to a counter that was on the opposite side of where the medical bed was. She tried her best not to look at JD, it was actually harder than it sounded, so Veronica opted to just close her eyes.

Exhaustion quickly took over, letting her eyes stay closed was an easy task. You see, the few days that led up to her decision weren't exactly easy. Veronica was plagued by insomnia, anxiety, and consistent panic. It wasn't an easy decision, it was just a decision she had to make, and a choice she would make reality. Her lack of sleep lead her to falling asleep rather easily at very inconvenient times.

Let's just say, this small sleep of her's got her a free skip to when JD woke up.

 

When Veronica finally did awake, the first thing she saw was JD wide awake, looking directly at her, analyzing every inch of her. She almost immediately looked away, but it was already too late, he knew she was awake, she now had to face confrontation.

"Well, well, well, out of all the people I would expect to come visit me, the last person I would think of would be Veronica Sawyer."

Veronica swallowed the lump in her throat as she took her eyes off the floor to look at him.

If you focused solely on everything bad about JD, he became really fucking scary. Always so calculated. Always four steps ahead of his enemies and allies. No one would think a loner at school paired with the assets Veronica provided could be so terrifying.

The only thing that took JD down was the fact that he didn't think that Veronica would be witty enough to fake her own death and turn around and try to stop him. It caught him off-guard, something JD is never seen as.

"Long time no see, Jason Dean." Veronica choked out, it was at this moment that her panic was slowly turning into anger, how dare he, how DARE he try to casually joke around with her like he didn't know everything that had happened before him. That level of ignorance, whether or not intentional, made Veronica's anger bubble under the surface.

Apparently Veronica had made a noticeable face of disgust, as the smirk on JD's face went away almost immediately. It was replaced with, instead, a frown. JD leaned his head back and looked up at the ceiling. He took a deep breath before letting his eyes wander back to Veronica.

"So," JD's voice cut through the deafening silence that was slowly consuming the both of them. Veronica looked at JD with an expression of mild disinterest, she didn't necessarily care what he had to say, she was just there to confirm how cruel and heartless everyone said he was. She felt a small feeling of disappointment, although she felt unrelenting feelings of hatred to him, there was a small sliver of hope within her that JD might change his ways, that he might become that sweet, caring boyfriend Veronica once knew. "Just how much do you hate me?"

This question caught Veronica off-guard, it felt like a stab in her heart, it opened up a wound she didn't know existed. Her mouth went dry, her heart pounded, and she quickly looked to the ground to avoid having to stare at JD. He looked so hurt, it made Veronica feel so guilty.

"I see," Veronica looked back up, JD was no longer frowning, but instead, he had a very genuine smile, it was almost like her silence provided some of comforting answer for JD. Veronica swore she could've almost smiled with him, but she simply couldn't. "In that case, I'll ask an easier question, how long have I been gone?"

"Three months." It was a direct answer, Veronica was simply in a state of which she couldn't tag on any hurtful comments or remarks.

"What's the date?"

"December thirteenth."

"Year?"

Veronica could practically hear the smirk radiating off JD's face, she almost felt herself smiling as well.

"Same as it's always been." JD couldn't have cracked a wider and more genuine smile right then and there. Veronica couldn't help it this time, she managed to crack a small grin. JD still had his rather playful element attached to him.

Veronica rubbed her smirk off her face. She couldn't allow herself to feel anything for this man. Although, that isn't to say she didn't enjoy the small moment.

"Well, can I ask one small favor of you, I know you hate me and all and I really don't want to pressure you and,"

"Just get to the point already." Veronica cut cleanly across his words, all the playfulness in her demeanor was instantly replaced with her anger once more.

JD looked slightly hurt at Veronica's sudden mood shift, but continued what he was saying anyways. "Can you go buy me a slushie?"

Veronica gritted her teeth, "And why should I go do this for you?"

"It'll get you away from me for a little bit."

Veronica paused before saying anything, if she really wanted to, she could just buy the slushie for him and give it to the nurse for delivery. That way, she wouldn't have to face him again, and deal with the whirlpool of emotions she felt around him. She considered it before making a decision and standing up and abruptly leaving.

JD smiled as he heard his door slam shut. He wasn't worried in the slightest about Veronica not returning. He knew she'd come back.

After all, she accidentally answered all his questions, he didn't need any more answers.