Work Header

The true Meaning of Bedspreads

Work Text:



Jensen is bored.

He has been in his hotel room the whole night since dinner and he hates it. With a vengeance. There's no view, no decent booze, no Jared. He has endured two days of this damned conference and there are still four Jared-less days left.

He's bored and homesick, so he calls his boyfriend.

“Hey, hon, how are you?” Jared's voice is cheery and Jensen is holding his phone tightly, longing coiling in his stomach.

“Peachy!” he lies. “How are you?”


Of course you are, Jensen thinks.

„It's so hot in here, you won't believe it. It's I'm-gonna-sleep-naked hot.”

Jensen gulps. And he's three hundred miles away.

Jared continues, “Speaking of. Do you know where my t-shirt is, the blue one? I can't find it anywhere.”

“Sorry, no idea.” It's in Jensen's suitcase, and soon it will be in his bed. He hears rattling and clanging over the phone. “What are you doing?”

“I'm making a sandwich. I have rye toast, red onions, cheese, and ham. Do you know that gourmet food store over on Main? They have this honey mustard sauce, it's delicious. Hmm...” Jared moans. “And their mayonnaise, it's so creamy and smooth.”

Jensen hears Jared smacking and slurping, and he imagines Jared licking the mayonnaise off, sees his pink tongue twirling around his long elegant fingers.

Jared interrupts his train of thought, “Sorry, hon, gotta go. I'm so hungry because I missed lunch. I need to eat now. Call you tomorrow, okay? Love you.”

“Bye. Love you, too,” Jensen says absent-mindedly.

The bed sheets are smooth under his back, the pillows fluffy. Jensen's dick is straining against his pajama pants. He doesn't last long, coming with Jared's smell on the t-shirt, with thoughts of Jared's tongue and taste, of mayonnaise on their bodies, of licking and tasting.


He dreams.

In front of him, there is a slice of bread the size of his kitchen floor and he has a jar of spread in his hand. On the label, it says Jarednaise – also suitable for spreading on your bed!

He opens the jar, inside there's a tiny naked Jared. When he turns the jar over, a giant Jared flops onto the bread. Jared's lying there spread out like a starfish, stretching and writhing. He's covered in mayonnaise, though it tastes sweet when Jensen licks it off Jared's toes.

He laps over toned thighs and abs, spreading more sweet mayonnaise in its wake, until he reaches Jared's nipples. He nibbles and sucks the pink buds, his boyfriend moaning deliciously beneath him.

Jensen settles between Jared’s thighs, gripping his hips covered in sweet mayonnaise. When Jensen takes him in his mouth, he tastes sweet like vanilla. With every lick on Jared’s dick, another taste explodes on Jensen’s tongue, caramel popcorn, sweet tea, honey, and butterscotch.

They are both moaning. Jared is writhing, and Jensen is so hard, he's convinced he won’t last another minute.

Just when Jensen thinks about eating him out, Jared comes with the taste of chocolate. Jensen follows right away, creaming Jared’s legs and the slice of bread.


Three days later, a very confused Jared calls.

“Hey, how are you?” He does not wait for Jensen’s answer. “Look, I just got a delivery of, like, a ton of chocolate sauce. And another ton of strawberry sirup. Did you order this?”

Jensen needs to clear his throat before he can answer.

“Yes. See you tomorrow. In bed.”