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Give Me Three Reasons

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"You're insane."

"Oh, the insane jounin theory." Kakashi rolled his eye and stared at Iruka expectantly. "Come now, sensei, that's cliché. I'd expect something more creative from you." When Iruka said nothing he rolled his hand in a circle. "Aaaand? What else?" he drawled lazily.

"I don't like men."

Kakashi grinned. It was unmistakable, masked or not. It was also predatory, triumphant, and driven by testosterone filled arrogance. "Of course." He waved his hand, still grinning. "Go on."

Iruka was so tense and stiff he was almost shaking. Kakashi wanted to draw attention to it, but he had this feeling that he had to play his cards just right. Iruka was also red as a beet and that alone nearly brought him to his knees. He leered on the inside. Not yet. But close.

"We," began Iruka through tightly clenched teeth, "do not even know each other."

It was difficult not to pounce. Kakashi knew he could have Iruka on his bed, half un-dressed before he even got three more words out at the rate he was going. And being that tense, with his jaw that tight, Kakashi was sure he could get pretty far before things got loud. But no, no, he was playing his cards right. This was important.

"Maa, little details. We have to start from somewhere, don't we?" Iruka was starting to look worn down. On the inside, Kakashi was rubbing his gloved hands together gleefully. I win!Dinner tonight: Iruka. My status: still a genius. "So, do you—"

Iruka sighed. "It's a conflict of interest. You're Naruto's—"

"Woah." Kakashi held both hands up. "I said three. I win. You're cheating, sensei." Kakashi shook his head slowly and ticked his tongue against the roof of his mouth. "What would your students think?"

Iruka's stillness broke and the redness turned into a pulsating mass as his arms flailed with what Kakashi assumed was an increasing desire to get his hands around Kakashi's very own neck. Thoughtfully, he stepped back.

"I wasn't playing your stupid game, Kakashi! I was telling the truth!"

Oh, it turned him on when Iruka snapped like that. He reached a calming hand towards Iruka. If hewould just shriek a little, like, oh, yes, like that.

"Don't touch me! Are you insane? You are! See?"

This time Kakashi tried not to grin. "Shh, sensei, shh. You're attracting attention. Why don't we, hmm." Kakashi paused, finger on his chin as he perused the sky, deep in thought, "Oh, I don't know. We could go to dinner first."

Iruka stood before him, suddenly subdued but breathing hard through his nostrils, chest rising and falling, each movement begging for Kakashi's touch. Kakashi glimpsed to the side and took a deep breath of his own to steel his nerves. He just doesn't realise he wants me. It's all up to me now.


"Yes. Like a date."

"Why didn't you ask that first?"

Iruka seemed honestly perplexed. His anger seemed to have dissipated, so Kakashi felt safe. He relaxed a little. But he did take one more step back, just in case, but made it look like a casual lean. "Ah, well, I needed to break down your defences." He made a smug gesture, pleased with his work. "Ninja tactic."

"You used a 'ninja tactic' to con me into making out with you?" Iruka stared at him in disbelief.

Kakashi expelled a puff of exasperated air. "Well, I need to work on it. This is taking way too long." Kakashi looked hopefully at Iruka.

So hopefully that he completely missed the hand that cuffed him on his ear.

"You're insane!" Iruka stomped off.

Kakashi blinked and stared at Iruka's retreating backside until he was lost in the crowd. He turned away, rubbing his ear and pouting pitifully. No one took notice, but even if they had, they wouldn't have realised he was pouting.

At least he had a good excuse for being late today. He got beat up by a chuunin. Only, he couldn't possibly use that, now could he?

Iruka looked up from his paperwork to see Kakashi hovering over the desk, bent over far more than necessary. His head was tilted to one side, resting on a gloved hand, elbow on the edge closest to Iruka. When Kakashi caught his gaze, he waved and his eye crinkled in a smile. Iruka stared at the waving hand and back at Kakashi. After a moment, the waving slowed and Kakashi lowered his hand slowly.

"Good morning, Iruka-sensei!"

Iruka glared balefully. Why does he torture me? I don't want to think about… Argh! I'm already thinking about it!

"How are you this lovely day?"

"You sound like Gai. Where's your paperwork? I don't have time for games."

"Ah-ha," Kakashi looked guiltily at him and then toward the door. "It's coming. Sooo, thought anymore about my offer?

Iruka glared at him. "No! I want paperwork or you go to the back of the line and no mission until I get it!" Iruka could feel his face beginning to burn. Argh, of all people, why does he get to me? And why on earth can I not stop thinking—

"You're thinking about it, aren't you?"

"NO!" Iruka stood up, hitting his hand on his desk, even more infuriated when Kakashi grinned at that—he could tell; he knew when the man was grinning. "I'm taking a break. You come back later."

"I'll give you two weeks." Kakashi winked, turned and was gone before Iruka could respond. To him, anyway. He responded to everyone else.

"Who does he think he is? I don't want two weeks! And where is that paperwork, Kakashi? I won't forget!" Iruka knew he was wasting that last bit, but he was also quite sure Kakashi was still within hearing range.

Iruka soon found out that the weeks go by much faster when one is anticipating something he dreads. Kakashi's cheerful daily countdowns weren't helping either.

Two weeks later, Kakashi stood beaming and waiting for Iruka to open the door. He did, smiling politely, and Kakashi continued to beam. Iruka's smile wavered and Kakashi was positive Iruka attempted to contain a shiver dancing up his spine. "Kakashi," he said voice low. "What brings you here?" he asked respectfully, but monotonically.

"Good evening, sensei. I hear you like steamed vegetables, so I brought dinner."

Iruka wrinkled his nose and opened his mouth, to refuse Kakashi was sure, but no worry, he had backup plans. "Kidding, kidding. It's just ramen. Are you hungry?"

Iruka shut his mouth. "Sure," he said, resignation in his voice. "Please come in."

Kakashi found he couldn't smile any more than he already was, and Iruka didn't even notice. Well, couldn't because of the mask, Kakashi realised, but he was trying very hard to make it obvious. He nodded instead, happily and non-stop, and followed Iruka inside. He looked around curiously, following directions when Iruka directed him to put the food out on the table and sit. He sat and watched Iruka pull two cups out.

"Can I get you something to drink?" Iruka asked as they settled down to eat. He looked up when Kakashi didn't answer and saw the bottle of expensive sake he was holding up. It had pink blossoms on the side. He blinked. "Oh. Yes, I like that. You… How did you know that?"

"We're getting to know each other. I told you that my three would beat your three."

Iruka glared over his food. "And I told you I wasn't playing! All you did was use pick-up lines, obscene pick-up lines, to get me to make out. Are you fifteen?"

"Are you dying to know what's under this mask?"

Iruka frowned and looked down at his food and ate, not looking up.

Kakashi looked down his nose at Iruka before turning to his own food, eating silently. Minutes passed and Kakashi was nearly finished eating. He looked up to see Iruka frowning at him. He watched Iruka for a moment silently. Watched as his eyes widened and then his mouth followed. Perhaps he doesn't like being ignored. He's a closet attention whore! He looked to the side as he sipped his sake and studied the room. Casually, he glimpsed back once to see Iruka's face gone slack, the frown gone, in its place a dazed open mouthed gaze.


"Nice place," Kakashi said casually.

Iruka blinked and grabbed his sake, throwing back what had to be his fifth cup. Kakashi shivered at the fevered blush beginning to bloom on Iruka's cheeks. His lips were wet with sake. Iruka rose, bottle in his hand. "Let's move to the sofa," he growled as he grabbed Kakashi's shoulder and pulled. Nearly swooning, Kakashi stumbled up and followed him.

Kakashi sat down at Iruka's insistent push.

Standing over him, Iruka took a drink straight from the bottle, staring down at Kakashi. "Close your mouth," he slurred. He held out his thumb. "One, you said you'll make me feel sooo good." He paused for another swallow and ticked off the next two reasons with his next finger, pointing at Kakashi with the finger. "Two, I'm dying to know what's under the mask and, and three, you'll, you, no. I can't even repeat that inebriated." He circled his hand in the air in careless emphasis.

"You remembered," Kakashi said, voice warm with emotion. "I know that last one has been weighing on your mind," he added slyly.

Iruka sat and sulked at the other end of the sofa, taking two more drinks directly from the bottle, head thrown back, throat working in the low light of the room. Kakashi forgot to close his mouth again. He knew there wasn't much sake left. But he forgot that when Iruka lowered the bottle. Drops of liquid trailed down Iruka's chin, glinting from the lamp behind him. Kakashi and his tongue both yearned to taste them. He leaned forward without realising it, eyes glued to Iruka's chin.

"What are you doing?" Iruka's hand on his chest stopped his momentum. His narrowed, distrustful gaze also stopped Kakashi.

Kakashi's gaze flickered back and forth from Iruka's wet chin up to his narrowed, dark, sexy eyes. He pushed Iruka's hand back over the arm of the sofa and surged forward, pressing Iruka back. His mouth landed at the corner of Iruka's mouth. He heard the bottle drop to the floor and Iruka's other hand came up to his shoulder. He wanted to just lick all the sake away, but as he licked Iruka's chin, he felt Iruka's mouth open, his head tilting against his and who was he to turn down an open mouth invitation? Especially when the invitation made those noises.

His free hand wound around Iruka's neck and he kissed the sweet warmth of Iruka's sake flavoured mouth. He felt like cheering when he felt Iruka's tongue against his own, but heard himself moaning instead. Iruka's hand clutched at him as he wound his arm around Kakashi's shoulders. He strained closer, biting and kissing furiously.

"You're insane," whispered Iruka as Kakashi licked at his lips, trailed his tongue down Iruka's neck before sucking and nipping his way back up.

"Yeah." Kakashi freed Iruka's hand and pulled him up by the hips, shifting so his body fit perfectly between Iruka's legs. He leaned back to push Iruka's shirt up and sighed happily at the sight of his belly button.

Iruka let himself be undressed, watching through heavily lidded eyes as Kakashi leaned down and licked a circle around Iruka's bellybutton. Kakashi's tongue flickered inside. He was enjoying Iruka's whispered gasps and squirming, but he had more pleasant places to be. He skipped his tongue up Iruka's chest, not stopping until they were face to face. He opened his mouth and leaned in for Iruka's warm, delectable mouth.

Iruka stopped him with a finger against his lips. He was bright red and looked a little uncomfortable. "I-I said I don't, well, I mean, it's just," he faltered.

Kakashi slid his tongue around and over the finger in front of his mouth and sucked on it. Iruka seemed to pale a little as he narrowed his eyes and let out a brief, nearly silent Oh. Then he whimpered. Kakashi couldn't help it; he sucked harder, teething Iruka's knuckle. Eyes dark, he shifted his hips, pressing and rolling them against Iruka. Nothing he could say could make it clearer than that.

Iruka's eyes closed as his head fell back. "Oh, yes," he hissed.

Kakashi slid backwards and pulled Iruka's pants down with him. When Kakashi pulled his ankle from out of his pants legs and kissed the bone there, mouth opened wide, he made another whimpering noise and almost kicked Kakashi. His eyes snapped open and he watched, his face slack, but his eyes burning. Kakashi grinned, holding Iruka's foot with both hands while teething his ankle, tongue sliding wet circles around the smooth skin before clearing the other leg of clothing and sliding back over Iruka until his mouth was at Iruka's bellybutton. He enjoyed the panting this elicited and slowly, let his mouth dip lower.

Iruka didn't seem as unschooled as his strongest argument would have had Kakashi believe. He moaned and sighed appreciatively, delighting Kakashi to no end. He felt Iruka's foot rubbing up and down the back of one of leg as he writhed slowly. What a wanton boy. When both of Iruka's hands slid into his hair, the fingers tangling and pulling, he had to bite back his surprise. He almost giggled at his wit, but instead, he gazed up at Iruka, awestruck. This was better than seeing him blushing behind a desk. Way better.

He slid his hands underneath Iruka, grasping his ass as he bucked up, just thinking about all their missed time and how they'd make it up. He let out a moan of his own in answer to Iruka's sudden and choked whimper. When he pulled his mouth back slowly, the sounds out of Iruka's mouth almost did him in, but nothing, nothing could compare to the sounds when Iruka finally came, hands pulling at Kakashi's hair, hips twitching, and best of all, Kakashi's name on his lips. It couldn't get better. Couldn't.

"Turn over, sensei."

Iruka woke up with his face buried into his sofa. There was a heavy weight on top of him and it was making noise. Trying not to panic and to assess the situation rationally, he breathed steadily and focused on remaining calm. He opened his eyes and saw nothing but sofa in his face. There was a mild ache behind his eyes, but nothing a few cups of coffee wouldn't cure. In the meantime, he had to figure out what… okay, who was on top of him and why. And why he was partially… okay, completely naked. And last but not least, why he felt so liquidy and worn. And so good.

Oh, right. Okay, he was starting to remember that too.

At least half an hour passed. I'm getting up. If it's an attack, there's a good chance that I can get to the kunai underneath this pillow before he can do anything else. Anything other than… snoring. Mind made up, Iruka made the physical decision to rise. He sniffed in prologue to the movement. Suddenly, arms tightened around him, halting the decision.

"Mmm, good morning, Iruka," slurred the body over him.

Iruka froze. That, no, it can't be. Not him. Anyone but him. Okay, not anyone, but, wait. Oh. Oh. He thought about his smushed face, no doubt fabric-lined by now, thought about the mild ache, the fact that He was sleeping on top of him and… okay, he remembered the sake. That—and then, and didn't— Okay, he remembered all of it.

The weight on top of him shifted and was suddenly gone. Squeezing his eyes before opening them, Iruka took a deep breath. He sat up. And opened his eyes.

Kakashi sat before him, shirtless, mask-less, and grinning. Oh god, he is hot. Why did I wait this long? "Why am I the only one naked?"

"Eh, I got cold. You passed out so I didn't know where to look for a blanket."

"You took advantage of me when I was drunk! You get that out of one of your stupid books?" Iruka felt the vein in his forehead begin to pulse. The ache behind his eyes grew stronger.

Kakashi grinned and leaned forward. "You knew I what I was when you invited me in."

Iruka glared and leaned back. "I thought I drank enough to pass out."

Kakashi laughed out loud and stretched. "You did." Kakashi's eyebrows twitched. "After. I still win." He looked up and nudged Iruka's foot. "Don't I? We really know each other now."

Iruka growled, yanking his foot back and leaning over to grab his pants. "You need to go," he said, standing up to dress.

"Sensei," he began with a pout.

Oh god, what a pretty pout.

"Kicking me out so soon? You don't respect me, do you? When's our next date?"

"Out!" Iruka got his pants on and looked up to ensure Kakashi was obliging his order. He wasn't. Iruka made a strangled sound when he saw Kakashi was stretching out and getting comfortable in the space that Iruka had just abandoned. He turned away to finish dressing and seethe in silence.


Iruka spun around, shirt in hand. "Well what?" he spit out.

Kakashi was stretched out across the sofa, feet crossed, arms behind his head. His eyes crawled up Iruka's body as he leered his slow progress in getting dressed. "Do I or don't I?"

Iruka flushed. He didn't answer. He knew exactly what Kakashi was talking about, but he refused to answer. It was obvious he already knew.

"Oh, sensei," Kakashi moaned. He writhed in place on the sofa smiling in delight as Iruka's face flooded darker red when he let his hands roam across his own body. "It makes me so hot when you do that. If you could just yell a little, I would—"


"I?" said Kakashi hopefully and sat up a little.

"Fine," Iruka ground out. "You give the best head this side of Konoha, of the whole of Fire country even. Maybe they can add that to the books," he added, muttering. "That'd certainly make you a target."

Question answered, Kakashi closed his eyes, chuckled contentedly, and relaxed against the sofa.

Iruka shook his head. His gaze drifted up the length of Kakashi's body to rest on his face. He was torn between his single triumph and his glorious defeat.

He stared for a moment longer at the satisfied smile on Kakashi's face before turning away and stomping off to the shower, shaking his head, unable to stop the smile on his own face. I'll wipe that smirk off his face next time.

Kakashi may have won his silly game, but Iruka was right about one thing: Kakashi was certifiably insane, just as he'd accused. That was good enough for him.

For now.