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Vacation-moon: The Kim Family Goes To America

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Rather than go on a honeymoon, since Namjoon was always so busy, it was decided that not long after his and Jimin’s wedding, the whole family would accompany Namjoon on a business trip to Los Angeles. Jimin was excited about going to America, since he had never been, but the boys were just excited to travel at all. Namjoon’s job took them a few places in their lifetimes, but Thailand or Japan weren’t Los Angeles.

“We might see western movie stars!” Jungkook said excitedly as they packed for the trip. “Or- or Justin Beiber!”

“I think Justin Beiber is Canadian,” Namjoon said with a frown, focusing on folding up a shirt better than his kids had packed them.

Jimin chuckled. “I’m just going to be the one out of the loop, relying on you three to translate for me,” he said, because his English was very poor. The boys had kept up their English they’d learned from birth, and Namjoon was absolutely fluent in English, as it was one of his first languages he learned outside of Korean. Jimin could ask where the bathroom was and say, ‘please help me, I don’t speak English’. Those were about his only positively sure phrases he knew.

“Don’t worry, Jiminnie,” Taehyung said as he contemplated what belts to take. “Kookie and I are Americans, we can help!”

Jimin chuckled. “You’re dual citizens, but you barely lived there. Stop claiming to be Americans. You will never pass.”

Namjoon chuckled. “I don’t know. I passed when I lived there,” he teased. He leaned over and pecked Jimin’s cheek. “Don’t worry, we’ll take care of you.”

Jimin beamed at his husband, eyes scrunching nearly shut. “I’m sure you will, Mr. Kim,” he teased and Namjoon smirked.

“Well, Mr. Kim, it’s my job.”

“Ew.”

“Blah stop flirting!”

“Seriously, Appa, it’s getting old.”

The boys always acted like they hated it, but Jimin knew they adored the fact he was finally, legally, a Kim. He had been Park Jimin so long Namjoon wasn’t actually sure he would want to take his family name, but Jimin, though he adored his family, knew he belonged to the Kim family. Ten years of living with one man and their two kids, he was more than happy to be Kim Jimin. He still called them ‘his Kim boys’ when he felt sappy, though.

Which was surprisingly often. He would’ve never imagined when he first fell in love with Namjoon that a decade later, he loved him more than ever before.

“Jiminnie, how do you say, ‘where is the nearest police station?’” Taehyung quizzed, and Jimin hummed, thinking.

“When is the close police house?” he said, and Namjoon chuckled when Taehyung wiggled a hand back and forth.

“Close enough. It would get you the right answer,” Taehyung said.

Jungkook pointed at him suddenly. “How do you say ‘how much does this cost?’”

Jimin smiled. “How much is that,” he said, and Jungkook clapped.

“Good!” He smirked. “And remember, if you get separated from us, you want to ask-“ Jungkook said something Jimin wasn’t really familiar with, and Namjoon reached over and smacked him in the back of the head with a glare.

“What did he say?” Jimin asked, biting back a smile.

Namjoon huffed. “He said, ‘where are the two ugly Koreans and the sexy boy that’s definitely not underage’.” He shook his head. “I am not ending up with grandkids the way I got kids,” he said firmly. “If either of you so much as think about meeting girls and sneaking off, I will absolutely get you a job on a farm somewhere.”

Taehyung rolled his eyes. “Appa, unlike you, Jimin taught us to always use condoms,” he said and Jimin gave him a warning look. Taehyung beamed innocently. “Not that we would ever have reason to use them because sex is gross, ew, girls, bleh.”

Jimin rolled his eyes. He would be more worried if he didn’t know for a fact Taehyung would absolutely regale them in the romantic tale of him losing his virginity whenever it happened. The boy had no shame and was sappy. And Jungkook was too shy to talk to girls no matter how much he liked to joke. Jimin would probably have to get Taehyung to introduce him when he met a girl he liked and then run away so Jungkook had to talk to her. Though they had only ever talked about girls they liked, Jimin decided to be his normal teasing self and elbowed Namjoon to get his attention. “Or boys,” he added, giving him a flirty wink. “Just because you liked women doesn’t mean you didn’t also know just how to treat a man right.”

“Jimin, why?” Jungkook groaned. “I’ll never like boys because you’re so gross, you made sure I only ever date girls!”

Taehyung shrugged. “I’m only seventeen, how should I know if I don’t like boys?”

Jimin beamed. “That’s the attitude,” he said, though he secretly kind of hoped Taehyung met a good girl some day since he would be the best father and adoption wasn’t as easy as getting somebody pregnant. He smirked suddenly. “You know, Namjoon, it’s probably good you ended up with me, not a lady. You would have a dozen kids besides them by now,” he joked and Taehyung groaned.

“Condoms are your friend!” he cried, covering his ears.

Jimin giggled, but nodded. “Yes, boys, don’t ever forget that. Even if you like a boy, don’t get diseases. Wait until you’re married and monogamous to do it without them-“

“Can we stop talking about sex? Please?” Jungkook asked, bright red. “I beg you both, never ever bring up sex again!”

Namjoon smiled and shook his head. “Jimin, you’re so bad.”

Jimin winked at Namjoon, and then wrapped his arms around his middle, laying his head on his shoulder. “That’s not what you said last night,” he purred, and Jungkook let out a frustrated growl and slammed his suitcase shut before throwing himself across the bed and ‘dying’.

“Oh great, Kookie’s dead, I hope you’re happy,” Taehyung said flatly, then went back to folding clothes to put in his own suitcase.

~

Taehyung, even as a teenager, was still very grumpy and whiney when he was sleepy. Also, the boys had never experienced such a time difference, so he was stuck practically dragging Taehyung through the airport while Namjoon and Jungkook got their bags. “It’s last night,” Taehyung whined, head laying on Jimin’s as he clung to him. “How is it last night?”

“That’s how time zones work, TaeTae,” Jimin cooed, smiling back at Namjoon’s amused little grin.

“You slept on the plane,” Namjoon said. “How are you like this?”

“Appa, we time traveled, of course Taehyung is out of it,” Jungkook said, bouncing on his toes. Jimin cringed. The flight had offered free drinks, including Red Bull, and he and Namjoon had been sleeping so they couldn’t stop Jungkook from ordering enough of them that Jimin wasn’t entirely sure he didn’t need a hospital. “Whoa, look!” he said, running over to the window. “Look, look, look, look at that car!”

“Kookie, go die,” Taehyung whined and Jimin shook him with a glare.

“Kim Taehyung, don’t tell your brother to die,” he chastised. “Namjoon,” he said, looking over at his husband. “Did you call for a car or are we taking a hotel shuttle?”

“Car,” Namjoon said, hefting the bags to lead the way out of the terminal. Before they even got outside, Jimin spotted three different drivers with signs saying “Kim”, so he figured Namjoon knew who was waiting on them. Namjoon walked up to a guy and, to Jimin’s surprise, met him with a smile and a bow. “Mr. Song, hello,” he said, and the man seemed just as surprised. “Thank you so much for waiting for us. Your employer told me you agreed to be our chauffer for the duration of our trip and I cannot thank you enough.”

The driver cleared his throat. “Um, it’s no trouble at all.” He gestured towards the doors. “If you’ll come this way, Mr. Kim.”

Jimin was relieved the car was a large enough SUV that he could lay Taehyung down across his lap, petting his hair. “My poor sleepy TaeTae,” he cooed, smiling at memories of doing this when Taehyung was a little boy, not bigger than him. Jungkook sat opposite them and Namjoon sat up front with the driver, already conversing in English about their schedule, no doubt. The sun was setting, and Jungkook couldn’t stop buzzing with excitement what with his multiple energy drinks he had consumed. Jimin was tired, too, if he was honest. He wanted to get to their hotel, take a shower, and go have a quiet dinner before they got a good night’s sleep.

~

Jimin came out of the bathroom wearing a crazy luxurious robe, sighing at the feeling of plush carpet under his feet. “Namjoon, this is a dream,” he moaned, running a towel over his hair.

Namjoon looked up from his laptop and his eyes widened behind his glasses when he saw Jimin. “This is, too,” he said hoarsely, and Jimin smirked. It was nice to know that after over a decade, he still had the ability to make his husband speechless.

“You’re so cute,” he cooed as he walked over and plopped into Namjoon’s lap. “Have you checked on the boys? Made sure Kookie hasn’t jumped off the balcony by accident from all the energy drinks?”

Namjoon curled his arms around Jimin, teasingly curling a hand around his bare thigh. “Jungkook is playing video games and Taehyung is asleep in the bathtub,” he said, and Jimin laughed.

Though they were very wealthy people, Namjoon was insistent that the boys have a ‘normal’ life. Because of that, this luxurious hotel suite with two bedrooms and a terrace was a real treat. The boys had expensive clothes and they had the best technology, but they also had to clean their rooms and do the dishes. Namjoon refused to spoil his kids and make them into entitled rich kids, and Jimin did his part to not get too ‘spoiled’ by cooking for them and being a good parent. At their house – a nice home but not a rich-person haven – they had a cleaning lady come twice a week to do the stuff nobody had time to do like dust the baseboards and scrub the bathrooms, but for the most part they all cleaned up after themselves and did their own laundry. Jimin came from a simple family so, though he was a little spoiled, he enjoyed that Namjoon didn’t want his children to be helpless in the real world.

This trip was far beyond their usual luxury. Normally they would be in a normal two-bed hotel room, the boys in one bed and them in the other, instead of a suite. Since it was a business trip, however, there was a certain amount of ‘luxury and showing off’ expected of their CEO, and since the family came along, they got to enjoy it. The boys were sharing a room with two beds and he and Namjoon got a bedroom all to themselves. The suite was really no different than the first apartment Jimin lived with them in, barring an extra bedroom, except it was the example of luxury. Their bathrooms had huge bathtubs deep enough to float in, showers to rival Namjoon’s in the old apartment, and closets the size of the boys’ current rooms at home. Everything was more to the standard of the typical chaebol instead of the family they had.

Jimin looked at the clock. “It’s eight. We should probably get some dinner before the boys waste away,” he said, and Namjoon smirked, sliding a hand up his thigh.

“Or, we can leave them to fend for themselves and enjoy a big, king-sized bed,” he tempted, fingers brushing the edge of the robe.

Jimin chuckled and booped Namjoon on the nose. “I would love nothing more, but we also have two teenage boys who will definitely get into trouble if we send them out unsupervised into Los Angeles.” He leaned in and gave Namjoon a sweet little kiss. “I love you, but I love my children more. Especially when one is jetlagged and the other is imminently going to crash from too much caffeine and both are growing boys who need food.”

Namjoon’s smile softened. “What Mr. Kim wants, Mr. Kim gets,” he agreed, and Jimin giggled.

“I’ll never get tired of it,” he said proudly, kissing Namjoon’s forehead before hopping off his lap to go wake up Taehyung before he drowned and take the batteries out of Jungkook’s handheld game so he had to put it down and get ready for dinner.

~

The hotel restaurant, amazingly, required a reservation, but because Namjoon was who he was, the manager was willing to give them a table that had a no-show for their reservation so that they didn’t have to go out into the city to get food. Jimin had suggested they just order room-service instead of be so ‘rich’ but room-service would take another two hours and the boys were hungry.

“I told you both this was a nice place,” Jimin chastised the boys, who were not dressed for this type of restaurant. They both had on casual clothes – Jungkook in jeans and a baggy tee-shirt, Taehyung in sweatpants and confusingly a designer shirt tucked into them – and Jimin felt so embarrassed by the looks they were getting.

“I refuse to sacrifice my style for a dress code,” Taehyung said simply, and Jungkook just shrugged nonchalantly.

Namjoon just smiled and put a hand on Jimin’s back. “It’s fine. Nobody is looking.”

“They’re definitely looking,” Jimin sighed, shaking his head. When the waiter came, it was clear he wasn’t used to seeing families in such a nice restaurant, but he seemed happy for it, not snooty about it.

“We have a lovely selection of wines, sir,” he said, and before Namjoon could grab the wine menu, Taehyung snagged it and pretended to seriously peruse it.

“Yes, interesting, we will have the pinot noir to start, and the best rosé for-“

Namjoon took the menu and gave Taehyung a flat look. “The table with underage children will have your best water,” he said, before turning to the waiter. “Flat for these two, sparkling for my husband and I, thank you.”

Jimin touched his arm and whispered, “Ask for limes, please,” and Namjoon relayed his order.

The waiter was obviously trying not to laugh when he walked away to get their drinks for them. Namjoon gave Taehyung a look and Taehyung just beamed. “I was trying to be helpful, Appa! It’s your work-trip-slash-family-vacation-slash-honeymoon, have some wine!”

Jimin chuckled. “We could have wine if we wanted,” he emphasized, pointing between him and Namjoon. “You are both underage at home, nonetheless here.” Taehyung and Jungkook both sighed and looked annoyed and Jimin rolled his eyes at them.

“Jimin,” Namjoon said gravely, “Our children are heathens who want rosé with their fish, we’ve failed as parents.”

Jimin’s eyes sparkled with mischief as he nodded just as solemnly. “Yep. When I was their age, I snuck out and drank beer.”

There was a brief moment before Taehyung spluttered and Jungkook gaped. “You won’t let us try wine but you snuck out and had beer!”

“Wow, Jiminnie, you were a hooligan!”

Namjoon chuckled at their reactions and rested his arm across the back of Jimin’s seat. “Unlike Appa, who was a saint and never did anything bad, Jimin was a bad kid. It’s never come up because I learned all of this when you were both little boys and wouldn’t understand it anyways, but your father was a terrible kid.”

Jimin swatted at his chest, laughing. “I was not! It was just one knife fight-“

“A KNIFE FIGHT?!” Taehyung squawked, not even caring a few tables turned to stare. “Oh my God, you got in a knife fight?!”

Jungkook’s eyes got wide. “Did you win?”

Jimin laughed, holding his tummy. “I got in a few fist fights, because boys bullied me for being a dancer and I thought I was a tough guy since I worked out and had muscles. One day some kids wanted to fight, and I thought I could take them all on, but they had knives.”

“Whoaaa, you beat up several people with knives?!” Jungkook asked, enthralled.

“Hell no, I ran like hell and hid under a van in a parking garage until they were long gone,” he said, and Jungkook deflated some.

“Oh. That sounds reasonable.”

Taehyung nodded. “Yeah, I’d do the same thing.”

Namjoon smiled a big, dimpled smile. “The worst thing I did was lie about if I ate all my vegetables or gave them to Uncle Yoongi at family dinners.”

Jimin cooed and leaned into his shoulder momentarily. “It’s why you’re such a good Appa. You’re sweet and honest and kind and don’t have a mean bone in your body.” He wagged a finger. “I’m the one who had to brave the grocery store at Christmas when the kids were little and fight housewives for the last of the baking chocolate.”

“So if someone tries to mug us while we’re sightseeing, Jiminnie can fight them off,” Taehyung said jokingly, but Jimin gave them both a stern look.

“No, if someone tries to mug you, you give them whatever they want and stay calm, because Appa can buy you new things, Appa can’t buy me new babies,” Jimin warned. “And if they catch the person who hurt you, I’d go to prison in America for going full-parent-rage and beating someone to death for hurting my children.”

Jungkook looked at Taehyung and hummed. “It’s almost worth getting Taehyung beat up just to see that,” he said, and Taehyung smacked him in the arm with a glare.

“Take it back!”

“I’m kidding!”

“I’m your Hyung you brat!”

“TaeTae I’m kidding, I’m kidding!”

“I don’t love you anymore Kim Jungkook!”

“Too bad, I love you, Hyung!” Jungkook said dramatically, wrapping his arms around his brother, forcing him to struggle and whine to get away.

Jimin looked at the scene his children were causing in a nice restaurant and covered his eyes in shame. “Tell me when the first course arrives, then I’ll uncover them,” he said to Namjoon, who just chuckled and squeezed his hand warmly before trying to settle the kids down.