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To whom it may concern

Chapter Text

It was a peaceful morning, one where everything in the world was right, and everything was just the way it should. Breakfast was phenomenal and afterwards plans were made and set in motion. It was a perfect day for almost everyone. A man shrouded in a black robe sat in a large library, drinking a relaxing cup of tea and enjoying a book on the Dark Arts, when a snowy owl flew in. The owl perched herself in front of the man, her eyes filled with an unspoken intelligence, and in her beak was an overly-stuffed envelope. She dropped the letter and trilled at the man.


He raised an eyebrow at the owl which had the audacity to just show up. He wasn’t expecting any sort of mail or packages today. It was supposed to be a relaxing day. “This better be good, or you will be dinner tonight,” the man grumbled to the owl. “And if it’s just a useless letter, then I am finding your owner and killing them too.”


To whom it may concern the man blinked upon reading the first line, well that is an interesting start.


I have no way of knowing where Hedwig, my lovely owl, has taken my letter or who is even reading this letter, so I address you thus. You are probably wondering why someone would just send a letter without giving their owl a name or a place to take it to…


The man snorted at this, was the person just looking for a pen pal or something? He turned and looked at the owl who sat there cleaning her feathers. “Hedwig, is that your name?” the man asked the owl. The owl stopped preening her feathers and gave a hoot as if she was saying yes. The man just rolled his eyes, of course the letter was from a strange person with a strange owl.


I want to tell you a little story, the real story of the Boy-Who-Lived -  that’s right, this letter is written by the boy everyone thinks they know. . I should hope Hedwig doesn’t take this to a Death Eater, someone in the Daily Prophet, or god forbid someone in the Order. I think I would prefer if she took it to a Death Eater than to an Order member; at least the Death Eater would have a good laugh, whereas if an Order member got this they might try to stop me. Anyway, this letter contains the truth of the Boy-Who-Lived: not the one the headmaster gives the world, not the one the Prophet paints, this is the true uncensored story. I want to tell the truth of my living conditions and how I grew up, how my life at Hogwarts was just tasks the headmaster set up for me, and lastly how the headmaster has ruined my life.

The man blinked in surprise, then scowled. This couldn't be true, the stupid boy was a beacon for the Light side, there was no way he would do something like this. The man almost burnt the letter right then and there but for some reason he didn’t. Instead he continued reading.

Of course, how can I be sure that you will read this letter and not burn it? Well I am putting that trust in you, but if you do (or just read to this point) I ask that at the end of the day you come and find me, but the part of the letter that describes where to locate me is under a charm until 5:00 PM BST. One other thing I ask is that you please keep Hedwig with you; I won’t need her where I am going, but I would like to know she has a lovely home and that she will be well taken care of.

Now that was a shocking thing to put in a letter, come find me? What could the boy possibly mean? Also, he wanted him to keep his owl? It made no sense. The man was intrigued and slightly irritated by this.


It probably makes little sense now, but everything will be explained later in the letter, so all I am asking you to do is read my story and understand why I must do what I am doing. For I have no real friends who care about for me, and I would like the wizarding world to understand what is really happening with the war and how one foolish man controls everything; even if it ultimately makes no difference, I want the truth to be out there.


The man paused; the foolish boy wanted him to read his life story. The Boy-Who-Lived-To-Be-Spoiled, wanted him to read about how this war was apparently controlled? The man couldn’t put down the letter now: it would be foolish, he needed to know why bloody Potter would send a letter like this.

Chapter Text


The man stood up from his desk and made his way to the couch near the fire; if he was to read this letter all the way through he might as well find a comfortable spot and have another nice cup of tea and maybe some finger sandwiches. He called for one of his personal house elves and made the request before pulling the letter out from his pocket and picking up from where he left off.


Right. So to start my story I guess we have to go back to when the war first ended; the night where my mum defeated the dark lord… yes, you read that right: my mum defeated the dark lord - there is no viable way for me as a baby to defeat a grown wizard! Come on people how thick must you be to actually believe something like that?! Dumbledore would tell you it was the power of love, that her love was what saved me. I can tell you this is partially right, yes, her love for me saved me; but what about the other mothers that died for their children during the war? It was really the line of Slytherin that saved me, as well as a small ritual my mother did. A ritual that transferred some of her magic to me, magic that would activate when she was murdered and would cause magic to lash back at the caster. As for the line of Slytherin, apparently Slytherin placed a spell on his line where descendants of his couldn’t kill one another, so even though I am not a direct line of Slytherin as Tom, or better known by the name Voldemort, is, I am from a side family.


The man blinked in shock, now that was interesting; that would explain a lot about that night, it was always a mystery as to how the boy lived. No one could ever figure out the truth, there were only speculations.


I’ve only learned this recently thanks to the goblins at Gringotts, my mum left a letter for me explaining the ritual, and then a line test showed me that I was one of a few lines left that could possibly claim Lord Slytherin. Nifty things you can learn from the goblins; maybe muggle raised students and muggle borns should be taught this stuff, because there are a lot of dead lines that could be claimed by another. Anyway, enough of that, let’s move on to what happened after that night.


But the man wanted to know more, this was a very interesting topic! Maybe he would go ask the goblins more about this later.


After the attack, the headmaster’s meddlesome self stole me away from my birthright! He took me from the wizarding world, even though it went against my parent’s wills (I will say more about this later) and placed me with my mum’s sister. Albus Dumbledore placed me on the front porch of my aunt’s like some old milk bottle, and left a note explaining that Lily and James Potter were murdered and I, their son, was left as an orphan after defeating the bad man of the wizarding world. That they were supposed to care for me and love me like their own son. Then he left, he didn’t knock or ring the door bell, he just left a small baby on the front porch in dropping temperatures in nothing more than a small thin baby blanket! Not even a warming charm was placed around me. All this, in the hopes that I would be found in the morning.


The man was already enraged, bloody Dumbledore took a magical child from their world! It would have been better to allow the boy to be adopted into a wizarding family, that knew about magic and how to raise a magical child. Muggles were not fit to raise a magical child, almost every time they were frowned upon and called abominations for things they could do and the muggles couldn't explain. They were afraid of the child, sometimes they took the child to a church to have them exorcised of the “bad spirts” that had allegedly invaded the child’s body. Sometimes the muggles took them to a mental institution, thinking that the child was mentally unstable, and left them there for muggle medication to control them, and even worse was the abuse. Muggle parents were so afraid of  their child that they punished the child for even an ounce of magic used. Next in his line of thought, why in the world would it be acceptable to leave child in the freezing conditions, was Dumbledore trying to kill the child?


I am going to just give a quick run down of my “childhood”, since it would take forever to go through eleven years of torture. I guess I should start with where I slept while I lived there: I was placed in the cupboard under the stairs. I was forced to live in the cupboard, they cleaned it out and placed a tattered crib mattress that barely fit and shoved me and my blanket into the darkness. But it was mine, my aunt, uncle, nor cousin would venture into my cupboard. I hung the pictures, I drew in there with the broken crayons Dudley left lying around, and whatever paper I could find. The cupboard was lit with only a single lightbulb, that sometimes went out leaving me in complete darkness, only seeing the light that seeped in from underneath the door or if the vent was left open. Over the years I slowly filled it with discarded toys that my cousin either forgot about or ones he refused to play with after he broke it (blaming it on me, saying it was my fault). For the longest time I thought that was were kids like me would live. It wasn’t until later in my life that I realized I was wrong and denied the most basic of human rights.


Moving on, I am tired of thinking about that hellhole, even though this whole house was a hellhole. How about I tell you of a normal day I went through? Of course, I believe that kids should do chores, it’s something that builds character, builds responsibility. But what I was doing was about as much work as a house elf would do, minus the magic they can perform. I was awoken at about 4am every morning to start cleaning the kitchen and ensuring that the floors and counters were spotless, clean enough that my aunt could see her reflection. At about 5:30 I would start making breakfast; that was a steep learning curve for me, when I started that at about 4 years old I had to learn the right temperature to fry the bacon without burning it, how long to cook it so it would be crispy but not burnt, how to make eggs without getting shells mixed in, how long to cook them so they weren’t too runny, how to make the perfect piece of toast where it had a nice crunchy bite, but the inside was still a little soft. If I messed up on breakfast, for example I burnt the toast or bacon, my aunt would do one of three things: swing a frying pan at my head, hold my hand or arm over the stove and let it burn while I screamed and cried and begged for her to stop, or pour the bacon grease on my arm. Then she would hand me over to my uncle while she had to remake breakfast. My uncle was the worst, he would take his belt and beat me, take away my food privileges for the day, and hand me the rest of my chore list that had to be completed by the time he got home from work.


The man sat there in shock at what he was reading, there was no way this was could be true. How could Dumbledore allow his golden boy to be treated as a house elf; actually, he was treated worse than a house elf! It made the man sick to his stomach.


If I didn’t get all the work completed by the time my uncle made it home, which most of the time I did not since it was usually a long and convoluted list, I would be once again be punished with the belt, sometimes my uncle would use his own fist if his day at work didn’t go so well, such as if a client backed out of a deal. More often than not I would be sporting new bruises and cuts all over my body. I cannot remember a time when I wasn’t in pain in that house. I was no better at that point than the freak they called me, even going so far as believing that was my name until I reached primary school.


Their son wasn’t much better; he learned from his parents early on that I was a freak and different from them, and as such I was just a punching bag to use. He got satisfaction when he broke one of his toys and blamed it on me, and then they would get him a better one and he’d get to watch as his father would beat the freak into submission. When I went to school I thought I would be free, that I could actually make friends! That I would be a normal kid, but instead my cousin made sure that didn’t happen. He would tell kids crazy made-up stories about me; if they didn’t deter the kids from playing with me, he and his friends would then beat them up. Soon it was just me alone on the playground; sometimes I took to hiding in the library, that is if my cousin didn’t find me – if he did, then he and his gang would beat me up. One time I was running away from his school gang and I somehow ended up on the roof of the school, the teachers and the janitor were very unhappy with me at that and gave my uncle a call while he was work, explaining what I had done. He wasn’t happy in the least with such a phone call during one of the important luncheons he had. He gave me a good lashing once we got home.


The man just felt sick: it was one thing that the adults would treat the boy as such, but it was so bad that they encouraged such behaviour in their own young son! That was just plain nasty, you would think that teachers would curb such behaviour in the children.


Bet you are thinking, ‘what about the teachers, what did they do about this?’ (Bloody Potter must be a seer or something) Well my aunt and uncle would explain that I was a little unstable, a little rebellious from being left by my real parents at an early age. That at home I caused trouble for them, and they are taking me to see a psychiatrist for help. As for the beatings that my uncle gave me, he would make sure that they were hidden by my shirts and trousers, and if a beating happened that would be noticeable I would be pulled from school that week to ensure that when I went back I was fully healed.


There was one teacher I know that tried his best to help, but of course the Dursleys had an excuse for everything and the school “knew my record” so there was no true way he could help me besides sneaking me extra food here and there. At one point he did call the Department for the Welfare of Children; they came out to do a house check and to ensure that no child was harmed and all that. Of course, this caused a pure rage in my aunt and uncle, swearing that the teacher was wrong and that I was a well taken care of, that I just tended to make up stories about them and how ungrateful I was for everything they did for me. They even went as far as to show them “my room” which it was really Dudley’s room, filled with toys, both broken and new, and how untidy and dirty it was. Then they went to Dudley’s second bedroom filled with the discarded and broken toys, a mediocre bed, and was clean compared to the other room.


The social workers left without evidence of my abuse, and with them went my last hope of being able to leave. The teacher that reported the supposed abuse was fired, and from then on, all the teachers knew me as a liar and a cheat. One teacher even went so far as to call me out in the middle of class for “cheating” on an exam, for getting everything right when no one else in the class did; it was then that my accidental magic flared and turned her hair blue. My uncle was very unhappy with that and so was the school. I was suspended for two weeks for whatever prank I pulled on the teacher, and even if I wanted to go back to school during those two weeks I couldn’t - not with the thrashing my uncle gave me once I got home after they had to pick me up.


Also, if I ever did better than Dudley at school I was a freak and cheat, and there was no way that I could get better marks than their beloved “Dudders”. That nickname, along with the others they called him, makes me sick each time I hear it. So, when I thought that my great grades would finally gain me love and affection from my aunt and uncle I was wrong, it was just another beating. It got to the point that I gave up trying in school, that I had to purposely fail even though I knew everything the teachers were teaching. I also had to go into remedial classes, for the “retards” as Dudley liked calling it. It was pathetic, and I hated every second of it.


That was my first eleven years of life, just constant chores, school, running, pain. But all that changed when the letters started coming…


The man had to take a break, if these muggles were not dead right now, they soon would be. This was no way to treat a child, let alone a child of magic. The man set down the letter, the story; he had to take a breather before carrying on because if he did continue right then he would want to march to the house those muggles lived in and kill them himself.

Chapter Text

The man angrily paced the floor. “This can’t be true! I mean, this is the golden boy we are talking about! There is no way that Dumbledore would leave his only chance at winning the war in the hands of some muggles, who are apparently abusive.” The man muttered angrily, put out, not wanting to believe the words written upon the parchment. He wanted to find ways to prove that they are lying, that someone sent this as a joke; but so far there seems to be no hint that this was a joke… Then again, he had only read a small portion of this long letter, maybe there were hints later on. The man took a deep breath before sitting down on the couch once again and picked up the letter, he resumed reading from where he left off.


That was my life for eleven years, just constant chores, school, running, pain. But all that changed when the letters started coming, and yes, I mean letters plural. My aunt and uncle were unhappy when the letters started. The letters started arriving on my cousin’s birthday; my morning was one of the norm - woke up early and started the special birthday breakfast of pancakes with a side of eggs and bacon. He was wailing about how many presents he got this year, that the total was less then what he got last year, and my aunt then promised him that she would buy some more while they were at the zoo that day. Dudley was subdued with that, couldn’t find any argument about receiving more gifts that way. There was the sound of post coming through the letterbox, of course it was demanded that I retrieve the post as they all sat down to eat the wonderful breakfast I made. I quickly scrambled out of the kitchen so that I could please my uncle and not be lashed with the belt once more.


As I shuffled through the post, so I can sort it out on who to give it to by the time I got back into the kitchen, I saw a thick envelope sealed with red wax, I remember giving the strange letter a look of confusion. It was so un-normal and so medieval that I’d only seen pictures of letters like it in old knight stories. So I flipped it over to see who it was addressed to, and got a shock.


The man came to the end of the page and flipped to the next when an old beaten up envelope fell into his lap. It was charred to a crisp, but you could still read the old faded address.

Mr. H. Potter

The Cupboard under the Stairs

4 Privet Drive

Little Whinging


The man blinked in surprise, this was Harry Potter’s first Hogwarts acceptance letter, clearly addressed to his sleeping quarters. If it hadn’t been for the scribbled-out portion of where the house sat the man would have marched straight over to kill those muggles. A knot formed in his stomach, upset with both the muggles he lived with and the magical world for leaving him there.


I thought it was better to proof to you that I am not lying to you, and what better way than to send my Hogwarts letter, or at least the one I could save from the ashes. I was mad for a bit at the magical world for knowing what was going on, but soon I realized that these letters are sent out automatically and not by hand. So, no one saw the address being written on the letter. But I do hold them accountable for other things, such as when they sent Hagrid to come and fetch me after sending hundreds of letters; you would think they would realise that something was wrong. Maybe our lovely Headmaster Dumbledore had hidden my whereabouts so well that no one noticed such a thing; I guess I will never know the truth.


Back to my story of my first letter, I think I will also tell you what happened later that day too, it’s a good laugh and was very much worth the pain I got. I shuffled the letter to the back and made my way back into the kitchen where my “family” was just about finishing up their breakfast, such pigs. I handed a bunch to Uncle Vernon and a few to Aunt Petunia, and one to Dudley from his Aunt Marge, before taking mine and standing in the corner reading the address once again, in shock that someone knew I lived there. My cousin, who happened to look over in my direction, thinking that he could catch me doing something wrong, saw my letter. Ohh there was a big uproar, my cousin laughing at me and taking the letter away all the while telling tales to his “Daddy” of how the freak had a letter. My uncle just laughed at that, saying freaks like me don’t get mail; he took the letter from his whale of a son and saw the seal; in puzzlement and shock he shared a look with my aunt who was now as white as a ghost, then turned the letter over. Needless to say, they were unhappy, but they didn’t take their anger out on me just then. They sent Dudley over to a friend’s house, the friend being one who was going to the zoo with them and sent me to the garden to work on the weeds as they had an argument over the letter. I only heard bits and pieces at that point, saying ‘they’ were watching, that ‘they’ had to know. So that day I went to the zoo with them, so that they could prove that I was a normal child and treated fairly alongside my cousin.


Needless to say, this was the best day in my life at that point; I was a normal kid for once - I couldn’t run around like Dudley and his friend, but I was over the moon looking at the different animals. It was all going great until we got to the reptile room. This was before I knew anything about being a parselmouth, but I had a love for snakes, to me they were/are awesome creatures; I still think so even though I have “Dark magic” for being able to talk to snakes. I felt bad for one snake that my cousin had taken to banging on the enclosure of; it was just relaxing, enjoying the peace and quiet, when a fat whale comes along and demands that it move. Dudley, not having that long of an attention span, got bored of it rather quickly and left. I stayed behind, feeling some empathy for the creature, understanding what it was like. So, I told him I am sorry for my cousin, (I didn’t know I was speaking in the snake tongue at the time) and this caught the serpent’s attention. He lifted his head to look at me; in shock I asked if it could understand me, and of course it winked indicating it can. So of course, being a curious child, I asked it questions that could be answered yes or no. That is what caught my cousin’s attention: seeing the large snake moving. He came rushing back over, knocking me down in the process, slamming his greasy hands and pushing his bulldog face into the glass. I was mad, first taking my letter then pushing me down. Not to mention everything else he had done over the years. Something happened, I felt a rush of power, and the glass to the habitat disappeared, making my cousin fall

headlong into to the enclosure. And the snake was all too happy to slither out, but what shocked me the most was before leaving, the snake hissed his thanks to me. When I turned back to the enclosure my aunt was screaming, my uncle was fuming, and to see my cousin trapped in the enclosure like the pig he is, oh I couldn’t help but laugh.


That was in the top ten beatings I received to this day, but for what had happened was so worth the lashes and bruises.


The man could not contain the smirk that made its way to his face; from the description that Potter put into the letter, he could not help but want to strangle that fat lard from here. Along with that uncle of his, that man was going to suffer at his hands one way or another. What a shock, the man realised he thought he would never feel bad for Potter, that Potter was just a brat, the golden boy for the light, but this letter was changing everything.


Enough of that, let’s get back on track to the story; after the first letter my aunt and uncle thought they were done; like a ‘one and done’ type of thing. But they were in for a surprise. It got to the point where there were about 3-6 letters a day, enough where my aunt was worried that someone was actually watching the house, so she moved me from my little cupboard to Dudley’s second bedroom. I was ecstatic and kind of afraid of the move, I mean I got a bigger and better sleeping area, but that also put me a lot closer to the rest of the household. Even after the move, letters kept coming, changing the address now to the new bedroom (which was apparently the smallest one, according to the letters). After the first week, my uncle was overjoyed that Sunday had arrived (which was a first) exclaiming that ‘there is no post on Sunday!’, eating cookies with a big fat smug smile on his face. So, when the first letter flew from the chimney and hit him in his face, it was hilarious. Soon the whole house was just being flooded by letters falling magically from the ceiling and spilling out from both the chimney and letterbox. It was amazing and funny to see my aunt and uncle scream, my cousin cowering behind a chair as his father blew the vein in his forehead.


It was then they both quickly packed up the car, and we were off to stay somewhere else till whatever was going on blew over.


The man almost, almost, laughed; that would have been a sight to see, those muggles running out of their house with hastily packed suitcases, piling into the car. with letters just pouring out of their house and blocking their windows. If someone saw what was happening they would have been considered crazy or thought that they just hadn’t had enough coffee that morning.


So that is how I found myself living in a cottage, in the middle of a never-ending storm, surrounded by water as the cottage was on a little rock in the middle of the ocean. It only had one bedroom up in the loft, so my cousin got the sofa and I slept on the concrete floor. It was also the day before my birthday, so in the tradition I had started when I found out when my birthday was, I stayed up until midnight to wish myself happy birthday because no one else ever would; kind of sad when it gets to that point, when a kid has to wish himself happy birthday. But as soon as I pretended to blow out the candles of my “cake” (which was just a drawing in the dust on the floor), the front door shook. Thinking it was nothing more than the wind howling and causing a stir outside, I had just rolled over to go to sleep when the thunderous clap came again, but this time rattling the door almost off the hinges. A third knock came, and the door fell inward causing a great crash.


Outside stood a large man, one who couldn’t fit through the door without bending down. My uncle came down stairs holding a rifle, even though I am almost 80% certain that he couldn’t shoot with one. This man I would come to know as Hagrid, the Keeper of Keys and Grounds of Hogwarts. He was the person to tell me I was a wizard, he was also the person to tell me the truth of everything; he was my first friend. It was a sad day when I learned that my aunt and uncle kept this hidden from me, what was even worse was finding out that my parents weren’t drunkards, that they didn’t die in a car crash, that they loved me!


For eleven years I thought my parents were nothing but drunks, who had gone

nowhere in their lives. That I was just a burden to them much like I was to my aunt and my uncle, that my parents didn’t love me. But to find out that was a lie hurt the most out of every beating I received while living there. It sounded almost too good to be true; but it was/is true.


The man was appalled that Harry Potter didn’t know the truth about his parents and that he actually believed that his parents died hating him, that he was unloved. It was a sad thing, but the man could understand, it just shocked the man that he was becoming sympathetic towards Potter.


From there Hagrid he took me away from my aunt and uncle, but also left my cousin with a pig’s tail, which is what the fat bastard deserved. He told me the truth of how my parents died, told me Voldemort was the one that killed them, that he was in the dark snake house, that my mother died protecting me. He was also the person that took me to do my first shopping experience in Diagon Alley; let’s just say I was and will always be amazed by the magic sight of Diagon Alley, it’s such a fun place to be. He was also the first person to ever buy me a birthday gift… Hedwig, my lovely snowy owl that delivered you this letter.  I also met a boy named Draco Malfoy, who reminded me too much of my cousin: he was a prat and thought himself better then everyone. He has gotten better over the last few years, but he’s still a git. Another reason I always thought Slytherin was a dark house… how wrong could I have been who knew how wrong I was? From here we go on to my first year at Hogwarts…


The man put the letter down, he needed a break from reading; it was a scary time when he started to feel sad for Potter. Looking over at Hedwig to see her fast asleep, he could almost feel the childlike joy of receiving his first owl, or in Harry’s case his first gift.

Chapter Text

The man sighed, unsure if he could continue the letter - and he was only to Potter’s first year; but at least he was out of the muggles’ house for majority of the year now. See, look what Potter was doing to him! Turning him into a softy over a pathetic childhood… not that much different from his own, but still. Even with such an argument with himself, the man picked the letter up.


I spent the last few days of summer staying at the Leaky Cauldron, getting to know Tom the innkeeper and a few of the shop owners while I was there. They are all extremely nice; it helped that they didn’t know who I was at the time, well besides Tom, but he kept that to himself when I asked him to. Kind Tom, he was such a big help during my third year too, but I am now getting ahead of myself.


When I had to travel to Kings Cross with all my school supplies I was in a big shock when I saw my ticket said platform 9¾ I thought this had to big a joke. That everything up to this point was just a dream, that I was just in another fever dream in my cupboard under the stairs. But I continued on anyways, hoping that at least maybe this was real that this was not all dream made up to protect myself from everything.


I arrived at Kings Cross pushing the trolley around the platforms, trying to get a glimpse of this magical platform, I even asked a muggle! He just gave me a laugh telling that it wasn’t real. At that point I felt my dream crushed, I was such a fool for believing in this. That Magic could be real… Everything that has happened was just another fever dream, much like when my mum visited me when I was little with a sad face saying that everything would get better.


It was at that last moment right before I turned my trolley around that I heard them. A true red-haired lady shouting at a bunch of rowdy people exclaiming that it was just crawling with muggles. I swear my head couldn’t snap fast enough to the family, the large family stopped in the middle of platform 9 and 10.


The man was perplexed at this, why would a witch be hanging around the barrier most families knew they could floo or apparate. There must have been a reason why…


I should have found it strange that they were taking the barrier now that I know the true reason it is there for mostly muggleborn or half-blood usage. But at the time I didn’t want to question about what luck I had. I wasn’t until a few years later I found out that our favourite headmaster sent them. But more of that later on! I can’t give away too much.


The man sighed, it seems like he was doomed to read the rest of the blasted letter. If he stopped now he might miss something important, a secret that Potter leaves for him. Something…


Not even looking around to see if muggles were looking in their direction sent her oldest through straight for the wall. I was tense waiting for the boy to crash into the barrier, but to my shock the boy phased right through the wall. I saw gobsmacked, I mean sure I was just hanging around the wizarding world, but I was also starting to think that I was just delusional, and everything was just made up. Hell, I could still be trapped in a dream and will wake up soon back in the dark cupboard.


So, I watched as she sent the twins through when I brought my trolley over. The woman gave me a warm smile and instructed me to line my trolley up with the wall and to give it a running start. I was so grateful to her, for telling me how to get to the platform. So, I did as she told me, and I ran at the barrier.


I was in for more of a shock as the what felt like water fall over my body as I passes through the illusion of the gateway. I quickly shook the feeling off, to take in the beauty in front of me. While Diagon Alley was beautiful and magical it held no light to the Hogwarts express. When you first enter the platform for the first time you see in all the shining galore the beautiful red beast how large she looks. With all the parents hugging the kids sending them off for Hogwarts. This is where I start thinking that maybe just maybe there is slight truth in what the giant told, that magic was real, that I was truly a wizard. I wish I could stay and marvel at the great Hogwarts express, but I knew I had make it on the train.


So, I quickly made my way over to where the luggage was being loaded on with the trolley. It was there I saw the twins for the first time up close, they are probably the closes people I would call friends even today. So I did kinda of lie at the beginning of my letter about not having friends. It’s just when I say Friends they default to the golden trio… But I am not their friend… not anymore…


The golden Trio was a lie? What did he mean by this?


They were kind they knew immediately who I was, but they didn’t make a big deal about it. They helped me up my trunk up then left me be saying they need to go find their friend Lee something about him having a tarantula or something. I found myself a lone car and was just silently sitting there still unable to wrap my mind over everything that has changed in the last few days.


A few moments later my car door open to show the youngest boy out of the red-head group looking around as if trying to find a person. I guess I was the person he was trying to find… Ron was never good at lying so looking back I can tell now that he wasn’t looking for an empty car, but for me. The boy joined me for the rest of the journey to Hogsmeade station telling me stories and sharing food I bought from the trolley. I would have said without a doubt right then I made my very first friend


Well I think I’ve bored you enough of just random ramblings of happenings, I think I should just jump straight into my first year. So that way I won’t end up writing a book about my story. I’ll leave that to the professionals, but not Lockhart, Merlin knows if the guy still had his mind he would jump at the chance. I mean I don’t think you would like to hear about how proud my parents would be that I was sorted into the same house as them. Nor about how much my “fame” hindered my learning experience be it from teachers comparing me to my Mother or Father. Or just every day happenings, no this letter was sent so I can tell you the injustice that not only I had but also Tom Marvolo Riddle, or better known as Voldemort.


The man could just laugh at the assumption that the boy had come up with.



I think the first real test Dumbledore set for me was for the muggle born student Hermione Granger, other 1/3 of the golden trio. It was Halloween night when everyone was down in the great hall enjoying the feast. It just so happens earlier that day Ron was being himself and sprouting whatever came to mind, when he insulted Hermione. She didn’t take it well and ran to lock herself into the closest bathroom. Or so it seems…


It was during first year that Hermione was just the joke of the girl’s dormitory, at least from what she has told us. That the other girls didn’t like how smart she was, nor how ungirly she was with her frizzy hair. I later learned the reason why she was singled out was because of how bossy she was (which is true) and of how she said that everything happens…. For the Greater Good … Sound familiar?


The man paused in reading the letter, with a frown, even in first year things were not adding up. Maybe Potter had a point; everything leading up to now seems somewhat.... But with Granger apparently saying it was for the greater good… No… The man shook head, Potter is just making up this story up to get attention. There was no way this could be true.


At least what I could get out of Lavender and Parvati during the few times I spoke with them trying to learn more about Hermione. Anyways it was during that time the defence-with-the-dark-arts teacher, Professor Quirrell, came running into the hall sprouting about how a troll entered Hogwarts ground…


The man frowned, he was almost positive that the wards surrounding Hogwarts protected her from such beasts so the children could be safe during times of war.


I am going to take a moment here… now I may not have read a lot about Hogwarts, but I think I can assume that the wards surrounding the school should keep students safe, which means dangerous creatures I.E. Dragons, trolls, giants, ect. would not be able to enter the school… So, the wards had to be altered at some point to allow such things onto the school grounds. Now I can make an exception for the chamber of secrets… But I will keep that to myself until I explain second year.


Being the hard-headed self- sacrificing Gryffindor that has a hero complex…


The man snorted that that, couldn’t be put into truer words.


I took upon myself to go help Hermione, now you must understand at this point in my life I didn’t trust adults anymore. Each time I asked for help, I was turned away or called a liar. So, my first reaction is not to go to teachers and tell them what happened… Yes, I know it's not smart I know I should have gone and let the teachers help out, but I didn’t… I played right into what Dumbledore had in mind. It was just us three first years against a Troll, XXXX rating! I was a stupid first year, I threw planks of wood and then proceeded to jump on said thing’s back and ride it like a bronco shoving my wand up its nose. I was pretty sure we were all going to die that day. Ron would boast about how he saved us with a first-year spell, personally I think Hogwarts played a huge roll in helping us that day. Because under no normal circumstances would a troll’s own club wouldn't knock him out at with the height it fell from.


The next task was that of finding the Mirror of Erised, this was something that tore me apart. To see my family truly happy all together… There was one thing in the mirror I never told anyone… I guess you would be the first to know, there was a little girl, held by my mum, smiling at me. She had red hair and Hazel eyes, I cried thinking about myself being a big brother, to have a little sister. To love, to protect her from all the evilness in the world.


The man could not help but feel the mourning of the boy, his hopes of having a family taken away, even being a brother dashed.


I would have withered away in front of the mirror, if Dumbledore had not moved it when he did. My thoughts from first year still circle about joining them. About, how we could be a family once more.


The man noticed a few tear stains here, where it looked like the boy recalled his time in front of the mirror. His mourning still fresh, as if he was seeing his sister for the first time once again.


The last part of my first year, was spent putting together the puzzle Dumbledore put in front of us. Slowly gathering the clues (which came way to easy) to point to us that Philosopher's stone was hidden within the walls of Hogwarts.


It started with the vault and Hagrid on day one in wizarding world, Dumbledore sent Hagrid to retrieve me and the stone in the same day, so I can see this was happening to catch my interests. The other was mostly thanks to us running away from Filch straight to the forbidden corridor where we stumbled upon Fluffy, the Cerberus. Yes, a Cerberus was in the castle, yet one of the many dangerous creatures that were somehow allowed on the grounds how or why I will never understand. So being first years we were curious as to why such a beast was on the grounds. So, we went to the first person we could think of, Hagrid.


The man could feel the headache forming already, of course the boy would go to that useless oaf.


It was there we found out about the mutt he let that go very quickly along with the name Nicholas Flamel. Of course, we scavenged the library looking for answers along with bugging Hagrid when we could. During one of those trips we found out that Hagrid was given a Dragon egg after boasting he could take care of such a beast. Saying if he knew music put his Cerberus to sleep then he could manage a dragon. It was also then stupid Malfoy followed us out to the cabin, seeing us out after curfew along with the newly hatched dragon. It was at this point Dumbledore set up a detention for us to go out into the Forbidden Forest. I thought it was said at the beginning of the year that much like its namesake, it’s forbidden for us to enter! But of course, that didn’t stop the man form sending four first years into the forest full of creatures that would love to kill us; searching for a monster killing unicorns.


I have to say it is amazing I even made it past my first year…


The man couldn’t agree more, the more he read the more he was happy Dumbledore was dead and rotting. The man was willing to have endanger 3 magical children at the expense of proving his golden child was really hero material. Merlin it made him sick to think, and the child still had a few more years to get through in his letter. He could only hope that it didn’t get worse.


I have to say it is amazing I even made it past my first year, with all the shite I went through. But I do have to say meeting Firenze was the only highlight from this. He was the centaur that saved me from what was left of Voldemort. It was a sad sight really to see such a powerful wizard wasting away; I know I shouldn’t say this as he was the main reason I am without my family. At the same time, I can’t help but pity him after all I heard about his childhood… Much like my own.


The sneer was back on the man’s face, the Dark Lord needed no such thing as pity.


What the headmaster didn’t know was after that encounter I did spend more time with Firenze, he was an odd centaur teaching me more about the stars and all that. His colony wasn’t happy with that, but at the same time, they never stopped it. Looking at me with such sad looks. I think I understand now why those looks where sent my way. 


From there we set about learning as much as we could about this stranger. It was thanks to a chocolate frog that we got the lead we needed. From there it was basically trying to figure out who within of the faculty were trying to get the stone. We were dead set on Snape being the one. With him hating us from the get-go, with what happened during Quidditch (my broom was being hexed and Hermione spied Snape not breaking eye contact), and all around a grouch.


It wasn’t until the day the Headmaster left that we decided that he was going to the stone. Now before you start thinking that we just jumped in and saved the day ourselves. I would like to point out that we did tell a teacher about what was going to happen. We where just excused and written off (as always) saying that nothing like that would ever happen that it was well protected by other elements made by the teachers. So we just jumped in to save the day; I will never forget the moment I saw Voldemort on the back of Quirrell’s head, or to be honest not seeing Snape down there (I was deadset on it being him). I don’t remember much of that night, I know the sadness of looking in the mirror, but not seeing my long dead family. Before everything was abruptly ended by the Dark Lord trying to kill me for the second time.


All I recall was turning Quirrell into a pile of ash, according to the headmaster it was Love that saved me, love from my mother.


Love huh? Such a fool for thinking that was what saved Potter down the man snorted. The man had just finished Potter’s first year. There was a lot wrong with what Potter wrote down… He should stop reading, but he couldn’t…

Chapter Text

Thus, ends my First year, spending like the last week in the infirmary with Madam Pomfrey with her being a mother hen. You would think after hating staying in that place the first time, I would never go back. Sadly, it seems I can’t keep myself away from there too long, gotta keep Pomfrey on her toes! I mean I have had to break the record of how many times a person can be in the infirmary while in Hogwarts and I would begin my 7th year this fall…


The mans eyebrows scrunched together ‘would’? Potter shouldn’t that be ‘will’? Knowing Potter, he wouldn’t know the difference between the pre-tenses.


The infirmary at this point has become my second home at Hogwarts, Poppy (she said with how many times I stay there I should just call her by her given name) has made the bed I stay in constantly permanently mine she almost went as far as putting the plaque on it. But I stopped her before she could even think about it. We don’t need to advertise which bed.


I ended up going back to my relatives for a month, even after I begged Dumbledore not to send me back saying I would work with Hagrid! The old geezer wouldn’t hear of it just saying it wasn’t too bad, and that I was just making these stories up. I was very disappointed, it was like the muggle teachers all over again… but this time it was different, back then I didn’t know, but I do now. He knew exactly what went down behind closed doors at the Dursley’s house, he had someone watching me since day one. I will explain more later, just take it right now as Second Year where I am still naive to the great and powerful Headmaster.


The man was not shocked at what Potter was describing, this had happened to him, but it was back when Dumbledore was just a teacher. He had talked to the man hoping he would go and talk to Headmaster Dippet, but that was just a fleeting hope. Since Dumbledore had all but ignored the request just brushing it off that he would be fine, it still made the man mad at Dumbledore. For not helping those who needed help.


It was an awful month spent just in my room, really Dudley’s second bedroom, with barely any human contact. I mean on the bright side no more beatings, my Uncle didn’t breathe a word in my direction what-so-ever. The down part, when I say in my room, it wasn’t by choice I was thrown into a room that was barren of everything but for a few very old broken toys, an old wobbly desk, an old wardrobe, and a sad excuse of a bed. With a few minor adjustments… There were many locks on the door, I would say about eight as if they were keeping a wild animal locked up… I wonder if this is how Remus feels during the full moon… Bars on the window, and a small cat flap where they slid a can of soup and maybe some water once a day. I was starving by the time I was rescued, I had lost the majority of the extra weight (if I had any extra weight too lose) I gained while at Hogwarts.


It was during the last few days off my stay at my “lovely” relatives house that my luck turned. I was only yelled at “to keep the blood bird quiet” sorry Hedwig that you had to go through that Hedwig. I also had no access to any of my school work since they took my trunk and locked it in my old bedroom, I was just happy to be left alone, I was let out ever so often to cook a meal (which I wasn't allowed to eat) or to go mow the lawn or take care of the gardens. But I got bored really quickly. I wish I could have stayed bored if that means I wouldn’t have to deal with the repercussions of my luck when things are looking okay.


It was during the important meeting, where my Uncle brought his boss and his wife over to their house and had a nice dinner. Really, he was chatting them up, so he could get a bigger pay cheque. I was told to act like I didn’t exist, like that wasn’t anything new, and that if I did he would allow me to let Hedwig fly around only at night, of course, but at least she would get to stretch her wings. It was going well for the dinner at least from what I could hear from my room upstairs. I left my room as quietly as I could since my uncle for tonight it seems trusted me leaving my room to use the restroom, it was when I re-entered my room there was a strange creature jumping on my bed. This creature was dressed, as I was back before Hogwarts, in an oversize ragged shirt thing, it had long floppy ears, large eyes, but it was very small (I at this point had never seen a house elf before). He stopped the moment he saw that I had entered the room babbling on how his name was Dobby and that I am the Great Harry Potter and all that.


Here is where it gets interesting, if having a random House elf pop in your room unannounced isn’t enough already. I asked what the hell he was doing here, for obvious reason I can’t have any sort of “Magic” stuff happen in this house, not right now… He had a horror-struck moment before saying that I mustn’t return to Hogwarts. I bet you can think how I responded, he wasn’t too happy with me. Also, might have be a little upset with the questioning too, since he beat himself with the bedside lamp I had in my room. All that noise had my Uncle march upstairs, but that gave me enough time to hide the little shit. He had a few choice words about all that noise before leaving me alone with just a warning… He was in a good mood since it seemed like the dinner was going well; he might have gotten that raise if it wasn't for Dobby.


Dobby and I argued a bit more about my return to Hogwarts, but when he couldn’t get me to understand such dangers that would be happening this year he took it upon himself to make sure I couldn’t go. He disappeared fast and a soft pop could be heard down stairs. I quickly made my way down stairs to see Dobby in the kitchen I slowly made my way down the hall making sure to stay hidden from view of the living room occupants who were all unaware of what was about to happen. Dobby asked one more time of me not returning to Hogwarts and I deflected telling him no. He snapped his figures and the cake Aunt Petunia made lift from the dish, and Dobby said then I must make sure you don’t return. He snapped again the cake started hovering towards the living room where everyone sat unaware of a floating cake and Dobby looked pleased with himself turning to look at me with a smirk before disappearing himself. I quickly went after the cake but not quick enough by the time I made it, the cake dropped on my on the head of my uncle’s boss’s wife. The only thing they saw was a young kid with his hands out stretched right over the man’s head. Needless to say, my uncle was beyond furious, that night I was beaten and left in my room for the following few days with no food and little water. Along with a warning letter about under age magic. It was not a good time


Until rescue came in the form of red heads and a flying car…


The man had to read the sentence twice a flying car? What could the boy be getting into now…


I think I might have gone about 7 days like this… I am unsure because the days blended together by that point with lack of food, some pain, and boredom. Let’s say a week just to be safe, a week since that night had passed and I was still stuck in my room, it was at night when the rest of the house was sleeping but I was awake because of insomnia. I heard a motor growing closer, but the thing was it wasn’t a car on the street, because you couldn’t hear the tires. I got up and looked out my window and saw headlights flying towards the window. For a split second I thought I was imagining things, with the lack of food, it wouldn’t have been the first time. So, I rubbed my eyes thinking that would make the hallucination go away, but instead it just brought the head lights closer… and closer, and closer. This was when I realized “Oh shit this is really a flying car!” the car pulled up the window, windows rolled down and I see three smiling red heads in the car. I opened my bedroom window with a big smile I had been rescued!


Who is the numbskull to think of messing about with a Muggle car to make it fly?! And leave it where children can drive it?! The man questioned.


That night was fun driving over Britain in a flying car! Watching Uncle Vernon fall from the window to prevent me from leaving, gods and leaving that hell hole once more. I don’t think I once stopped smiling even when we ran in Malfoy in Diagon Alley. I might have let it drop once but that because of Lockhart, that nasty pig. Pulled me into a picture and gave me free books (won’t diss on the free books) but still I didn’t want the attention.


It was just my luck that in my happy moment bad luck strikes, I was with the Weasley family until it was time to leave for Hogwarts, they loaded all of us in the car and took us to Kings Cross. It was going smoothly, Arthur and Molly took Ginny through the Barrier, since she was a first year, leaving Ron and I to follow. So, Ron took off first and I quickly followed, but the gate was closed off and we ran trolley first into a brick wall. But the thing was it wasn’t even time for the gate to be closed it still had five minutes before the train was to leave. Only being second years we couldn’t think straight, we thought if we missed the train that we couldn’t go to Hogwarts that year. The only logical thing Ron came up with was to “take the car” I am just going to put the blame all on him… I think he might have just wanted to drive the car, because no matter what I said to him about just waiting didn’t get through that thick skull of his! In the end we flew a magic car over London where muggles could see.


The man just let out a sigh. He should have seen this coming, really, he should have. The Potter Kid has no common sense and is just going to expose all of the Wizarding World to the rest of the world.


We landed in the Whomping Willow outside of Hogwarts, and had a good thrashing from the tree before it dropped us and the car ran away… I think it is still living in the Forbidden Forest, but I am not too sure on that since last time I saw it was when it rescued us from the spiders… Snape was livid with us, telling us how we were going to expelled from the school and have our wands snapped…


With everything the man has read thus far, the boy should just get his wand snapped. Not because he is breaking the rules (that too) but because of how much of a menace he is. How much danger is attracted to him. Just to protect him and those around him… Okay not to protect him, just to protect the Wizarding World… Yeah to protect the Wizarding World. He wasn’t worried for Potter's safety or anything.


During this time, I wouldn’t have found it funny, but now I look back and laugh. When the Headmaster and Professor McGonagall walked in after having a talk, Snape pointed his finger at us much like a younger child would do to an older sibling when ratting them out on something. That is what he reminds me of now that I think back to it. He told them his argument of why we should be expelled from school and all that. We were all but ready for those words to come out of the Headmasters mouth, but he just smiled and say we all make little mistakes, and that we are not being expelled just to write a 2-foot essay over what we did wrong and what ways we could have ensured a safer return to Hogwarts.


The man groaned of course Potter got off easy with exposing magic to the Muggle World! If any other person was to do something like this they would have been expelled and put on magic probation where they couldn’t use magic or had a limit of what type of magic they could use. Worst case would have been a wand snapping.


After that it seemed like we would have a normal school year, everyone was joking around about homework and studying for test and pop quizzes. Well minus Lockhart who was nothing more then a pretty face, he was just happy about all the adoring fans swarming all over him. It was a big joke in the Dorms after he let the pixies out in the middle of class and had no idea how to wrangle them back, but poor Neville was just hanging there for an hour before we could find someone to get him down.


It was Halloween night where things seem to get interesting yet again, Ron, Hermione, and myself were just about to head to the Great Hall after leaving the Death Day Party Sir Nickolas invited us to. If you are ever invited to a Death Day Party do not go, no pun intended you are the life of the party, they go around talking about how they all died and ask how you want to go. When all of a sudden I hear a voice saying something about killing. I freak out running after it hoping what ever it was after I could stop it, Ron and Hermione ran with me hot on my tail. That is when we found the first victim of the petrification, Mrs. Norris, how was hung by her tail on a light fixture in the hall. It just soo happen at the same time the Halloween feast let out and we were in same corridor that Slytherins and Hufflepuffs needed to use to go to the dormitories.


They only saw my friends and I standing in front of a wall dripping in blood saying, “Enemies of the Heir beware,” and Mrs. Norris’ body just hanging there. That was when the rumours started… I am not going to lie, it was the worst feeling ever to have the school start shunning you a little about what happened something that was out of your control. I think this year was one of the worst ones I had, because it was the first time the school had ever turned their backs on me.


How many times had this happened? How many times did Potter feel like the school had left him to stand on his own? Did his own house leave him too?


I think the worst part was that I didn’t think it could get any worse that year, only to hear the voice in the wall, and for the school only start spreading rumours. Not being down right scared at what was going to happen next.


It was all going well I mean as well as it could be, I was just going class to class, just ignoring everyone whispering around me. I was just looking forward to the first Quidditch match of the year. I should have known that something was going to happen. Draco Malfoy was the new seeker of the Slytherin team, but that wasn’t even the bad part. I knew I could beat that prat any day on a broom. The game Gryffindor vs. Slytherin started without a hitch, it was only half way through the game that the Bludger started to act strange only targeting me even when the beaters hit it out of our direction. At that point I was just flying for my life as it continuously attacked me. I spotted the snitch thinking if I get this we can call game to I dove for it, with my out-reach hand the Bludger came in at full speed and snapped the bone. But I did get the snitch, I was all but willing to go to Madam Pomfrey to heal my arm up, but before I got the chance Lockhart had to step in and banished all the bones in my arm… I was in for an ever-unpleasant night in the Hospital Wing re-growing all the bones.


It was at that night I heard that same voice from the night we Mrs. Norris saying about how they were going to kill, to rip apart. Just as soon as I was going to get out of bed to investigate that voice, Dobby, the ever-living annoyance, showed up once more in my life. He explained about the terrible things happening, how I needed to leave, how it was HIS BLUDGER that caused my stay in the Hospital Wing. It was this night Collin Creevy a younger Lion was hoping to get my autograph and a picture, so he decided to sneak down the Hospital Wing in the middle of the night. The voice inside the walls ran into the young boy and he was petrified, the poor boy. I saw his body that night as teachers rushed in with him on a stretcher huddling around the body hoping for some clues of what the monster was.


The man laughed like they would ever find out what that beautiful creature was.


After that night, my classmates and the rest of the other students put two and two together and got five. They thought I was the one going around hurting people and the bullying was back at full force mostly from the Claws and Puffs that were very frightened and wanted someone to blame. Slytherin was just having fun and poking jokes at me. I mean it was just a coincidence that I was in the Hospital Wing that night when Collin was brought in, I was too busy with the pain of re-growing my bones to go open the chambers of secrets. Plus, why would I sick it on one of my own housemates? Just because I found him annoying for always taking pictures and all that? No, he was a sweet boy just looking up at his Idol!


The man tisked at stupid kids thinking that they knew everything.


I am sorry for the mini rant… lets get back to the year and ignore everyone else.


It was Lockhart’s brilliant idea for us to start a duelling club, when he had no idea how to duel. I think it was a very smart move of him to bring Snape into help him. Merlin, I hate Snape, always have always will, I can not forgive him the way he treated me through school, but that man is a good teacher when he wants to be.


After a short demonstration, of how one duels properly he chose from the crowd two “random” people Ron and me. Sadly, after the Whomping willow incident Ron’s wand was snapped almost in half, so Snape called on one of his snakes. One of the few people that made my school year a living hell. Draco Malfoy. We faced each other and threw a few spells knocking each back a few steps here and there. When suddenly Draco threw a spell and a snake burst out from his wand. Angry words tumbled out of the snake’s mouth saying how dare he be summoned, and he set his sights on me saying he was going to kill. I told the snake no, that I was not worth killing, he was not happy with me and turn to face a Hufflepuff, and hissed at him ready to strike, again I prohibit him. That is when I saw Snape looking at me with a frighten look looking paler then I have ever seen him before. Then I notice that others look at me with mortification and some with awe. That is the day I learned I was a Parselmouth. And the day the true fear of the student body showed as anger and disgust, ready for me to be the next dark wizard.


The man was disgusted at those students, being a Parselmouth was a gift. Only true pureblood wizard families could boast about such gifts. Some had seers, some had creature blood, some had parselmouths, these were all gifts passed down the lines and were sacred to each line. Nothing to be ashamed of!


I took a day before I hunted down Justin, the Puff that had the snake hiss at him, but it was a backlash of things and I was called a monster and that I need to leave the school… Just a few hours after that happened Justin was found with Headless Nick, Nick dead (will never understand how that worked) and Justin was petrified and I was to blame since I went to go talk to him.


The bulling and shunning went on for weeks even my own house was afraid of me! Only Neville was willing to talk to me until is Gran demanded he stop. Of course, he didn’t he was too sweet for that. That is when Hermione brought up the idea to sneak down to the Slytherin dorms and talk to Malfoy (we thought he was the heir or would know who it was). So the Polyjuice Potion took a month to brew, Hermione being the one to do all the work while Ron and I snuck ingredients out from under Snape’s large nose. After that horrible idea ended with us being almost caught Hermione turning into a Cat and finding no information about anything besides Malfoy thinking it was me. We were at a loss, until I found the Diary of on TMR, that was thrown into the girls bathroom haunted by Moaning Myrtle.


The man looked shocked that the girl still hung around that bathroom.  


I couldn’t leave well enough alone and was disappointed to see there was nothing written in it, but I thought I would just keep writing notes in. It was a perfectly good journal… That was until it wrote back. Saying it knew the secretes of the Chamber and what the monster was. It brought me into a memory where I saw a young Hagrid and a young Tom. In the memory I was shown the body of Myrtle being brought down and how Tom told them that it was Hagrid. It showed the monster being a huge spider (Acromantula) before spitting me out of the memory. I just put it up for the night and went to classes the next day. When I got back someone ransacked the whole Boys Dorm looking for the diary.


All that was quickly forgotten as I just continued with school and everything that needed to be done for that; homework, practice, classes and all they while dealing with the scorn of my schoolmates who just made my life a living hell. I forgot all about that when the next game of Quidditch came around, we were going to play Hufflepuff when the news came… It was at that morning Hermione had had an idea and rushed to the library in search for something saying that she would be back for the game. She never made it… the game was cancelled and with that came the news of our 3rd petrification came. Hermione wandering the halls with a small mirror was found right outside the Library.


It was now that our schoolmates finally saw that I was not the one doing these things to them… That I was just taking the blame no matter what, but I never got an apology for it. They just went back to be buddy buddy with me as if nothing ever happened. I was beyond frustrated with school, but I was too sad and upset that my friend had been petrified.


The man was frustrated with those students, why turn your back on someone in the school? There is only a limited number of wizarding children in Britain, they were in a decline since the Purebloods had such low conception rates with all the inbreeding. It would do them good if they got together with a half-blood or even an exotic lover to produce children. But they were too stuck in their ways.


Ron and I were devastated with Hermione in the Hospital Wing and us under a strict schedule not able to go anywhere without a teacher. Then there was talk about having Hogwarts closing. I couldn’t handle that on top of everything else! I didn’t want to go back to those people and leave my home! I would do anything not to leave. That is what happened… Another Adventure by your truly. As mentioned at the first part of the beginning of the year we had a flying car that helped us out of trouble we have come to that part of the story.


Ron thought we should go down to Hagrid’s hut and have a chat with him about the monster that he released. So, in the middle of the night we went and knocked on his door. We sat and chatted with him and came to find out it wasn’t his pet, his pet gave him a warning about the great monster that hid in the walls of Hogwarts and wanted nothing more than to leave and flee from it. But right when we were going to ask him about the monster, there was a banging noise on the door. We quickly hid under my invisibility cloak and when Malfoy Sr., Headmaster Dumbledore and a Ministry of Magic representative came into the small hut. They told Hagrid he was to be taken to prison for what he had done. So they cuffed him, but he left us with a clue, to follow the spiders.


Ron was unhappy with that since he was deadly afraid of spiders, something to do with Fred and George I bet, but us being brave Gryffindors we did just that followed the line of small spiders running into the forest away from Hogwarts. Further and further we went into the Forbidden Forest, till we came upon the Acromantula nest there were thousands of them! Everywhere in webs in the trees, on the ground they were ranging in size from a small house to one the size of a car. Needless to say, I had nightmares for weeks about them. We had a chat with the king Acromantula named Aragog who was Hagrid’s original pet. The so called monster, I mean he is one but not THE ONE. He explained the beast in the castle would eat them no problem and that he didn’t want his children to face something like that. In the end Aragog decided that he had enough of young children in his nest and it was time to eat us, so we ran as fast as we could, but there was no way to out run an eight-legged spider. That is where the car rescued us drove away like a wild thing and brought us safely out of the forest.


The man was impressed that the two young wizards had the gull to go against an Acromantula, a king no less. But to save a friend the man chuckled he wouldn’t do that. No friend was worth his life. At least if he ever had a friend.


It was a few days after that scare each time we saw a spider crawling around we were afraid that Aragog was not far behind. It was then the next victim was claimed, but this time they were taken down into the chamber “Her skeleton will lie in the Chamber forever” was written on the wall. We found out that it was Ron’s baby sister Ginny who was taken. Hogwarts was closing for sure, all students were getting packed and Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were coming soon to pick up their remaining kids. Ron was devastated but came with me one last time to see Hermione. That is when we found the answer we needed.


She found out that the monster was a basilisk and it was using the pipis to get around the school. Her amazing brain! For a second year…


This young witch was smart to find out what the monster was, no one was able to figure it out back in his time.


Seems a little strange why would a second year have access to information that should be taught to fifth or sixth years. We quickly went to Lockhart since he did boast about everything he had done. We saw that he was trying to escape the school, so we just bullied him into go with us… Just be happy I got someone this time even though he was a worthless baboon. Still we had no idea where the entrance was, but I had an inkling feeling who to ask. Myrtle was more then happy to point out how she died and even more to said that if I died I could share her…. toilet… with her. Such a sweet ghost really.


So, I open the Chamber of Secrets, and we pushed Lockhart through first. When we heard him speak we quickly followed. Once we were down there Lockhart tried to take claim and credits for this, saying he was just going to make another book and tell the sad story of how all three children died down in the Chamber while he valiantly tried to save us. That backfired when the wand he stole was Ron's causing the spell to backfire on him and causing the cave to collapse around us. Splitting me and the rest of group apart (convenient, right?)


The man sneered how dare this guy try to sacrifice kids, just so he could make more money.


So, I really don’t want to go into too much detail with how much happened down there, since this is already such a long part. I will try my best to wrap it up. It was there I found Ginny lying on the ground and Tom standing above her, this is where I learned Tom Marvolo Riddle was Voldemort. He was stealing away Ginny’s power, to make himself whole again… I didn’t understand back then what he was talking about, but now I know… But there is another thing about this Diary… I will tell you at the end.


He called upon the monster to kill me, but Fawkes the lovely Phoenix that he is saved that part and clawed the beast’s eyes out and left behind the sorting hat. I had to run though away from the monster. I had a few close calls before I made it back to the main room where I had found her body. Tom was still standing there. The basilisk didn’t stay gone for long before coming back… Now here I did what a cliché muggle magician does, I pulled the sword of Gryffindor from the sorting hat. The basilisk and I had a fight, I killed it, but in return one of the fangs punctured my skin and I too was going to meet my end. I have no clue what compelled me to do this but with his gloating about how he would be back in power how I was going to die I just stabbed the book with the fang and a frightening shriek howled from the thing and gone was Voldemort and Ginny awoke.  Lovely, lovely Fawkes came to my rescue once more and healed the wound I acquired from the basilisk and all four of us caught a ride with him back to the headmaster’s office where Lord Malfoy stood talking to Dumbledore about closing the school.


Lockhart was sent to St. Mungo's to see if they could fix him (no they couldn’t, and he is still there clueless as ever). Ginny was sent home to a crying Mr. and Mrs. Weasley and there I found out Dobby was Mr. Malfoy’s house elf. In the end the blame for the Diary was placed on Mr. Malfoy even though he had nothing to do with it and he lost the crazy house elf Dobby.


The reason I say that he isn’t to blame is because that Diary was all just a ploy for Dumbledore, he placed Memories of his own of looking at Tom into the Diary. The Diary was a two-way book made up by him. He later tried to tell me it was a Horcrux made up by Voldemort… But I can’t explain this until later on when all is reveled. Just a few more years of Dumbledore’s wicked manipulation to see the bigger picture…


The man wanted to know more! Why won’t the boy just plain write everything out! What were Dumbledore’s plans!?

Chapter Text

I think the summer before third year, was relatively good, better then the first two. It might be a little surprising, but it had to do with my Uncle’s sister coming into town that summer and was planning to stay with them for a few weeks. Aunt Marge, nasty piece of work she is, and her dog ripper too. She is an avid breeder of bulldogs and her prize male Ripper, she babied him way too much taking him around everywhere. He, much like all of my family hated me. My aunt praised him the year before I went to Hogwarts for biting my ankle to shreds before I manged to climb up the tree in the back yard. Of course, he didn’t let up any once I was up there making sure he would take jumps each time I let my foot slip just a tab. It wasn’t until well after midnight that Marge called the beast off.


Real piece of art, but you are probably wondering why I say it was a good summer even though I was stuck with now four people that laugh at my pain my abuse. If you even recall that summer, the great escape of Sirius Black happened, warnings where everywhere. But no one thought to tell me the significance of such a thing. Let’s keep the Boy Wonder in the dark and act like he should know everything that we know. Maybe then I wouldn’t have gone looking for trouble. Maybe then I would have accepted that I should stay indoors and not go anywhere. But then again, I am a trouble magnet, and it finds me no matter what I do. I am hoping that I can put a stop to that soon.


The man was in shock the boy had no clue about Black beforehand, well he guessed that was really a shock if you thought about how he was raised. About how he thought his parents died. Then again, his Uncle and Aunt might have not known about the Black incident, but he should have been told once he was safe in the wizarding world. Also did the boy not know about the curse that the Potter line had, it was not called the Potter Luck for nothing.


It was a few days into her stay, I was doing my utter best to keep out of her way, she kept asking questions about the place I went to school. St. Brutus’s that is where my Uncle told her I went, St. Brutus’s Secure Centre for Incurably Criminal Boys. Sounds like a wonderful place, right? There we take canes daily it keeps us out of trouble and the worst of us, we are placed in solitary confinement. It was just one statement that got me, I am fine if you call me whatever you want, but once you say something about my friends or my parents, I can’t hold my anger back. That is why most of my fights in school were over what people called my parents and my friends, not if they called me a cheat or a coward.


It was after dinner and I was washing dishes while everyone was sat at the table enjoying a glass of wine and Dudley dessert. My Aunt Marge was going on and on about how I was horrible and if I was left on her doorstep that she would have taken me to an orphanage (not that I would minded with her, even with my Aunt and Uncle I think I would have loved to be taken to an orphanage.). But this is a direct quote from my Aunt before everything went wrong but right at the same time.


*(from Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban chapter 2) “You mustn’t blame yourself for the way the boy’s turned out, Vernon. If there’s something rotten on the inside, there’s nothing anyone can do about it. It’s one of the basic rules of breeding, you see it all the time with dogs. If there’s something wrong with the bitch there’ll be something wrong with the pup.”


I lost it, I went off at my aunt. There was nothing wrong with my mum! She loved me with all her heart, there would be nothing that she would have done differently even if she was a muggle with a burglar breaking into a muggle house. I felt something inside me just pop as a just yelled at my aunt to shut up. It was then when she tried to think she could reprimand me about manners, that she started to blow up much like a balloon. She floated out of the house much like one.


The man was impressed with Potter, to still be able to do accidental magic at about 13 years old. The reason why there are usually no reports of accidental magic in teens and adults where because of wands, a conduit of magic, it was a training tool for wizard to pull magic back into their bodies in a complex web formation. This was to stop accidental magic from happening as well as to teach wizards how to control their magic. So, hearing that he was still having accidental magic even after three years of having a wand, just sealed the fact that Potter had a strong magical core.


 While the rest of my family were concerned over the safety of that awful beast, I rushed to gather my things to leave the house for the summer packing everything I could think of into my trunk. I was just about out the front door before my uncle demanded me to bring his sister back, I lost it I was tired of being ordered around and being poked at all week. I drew my wand and aimed it at my uncle, of course I wasn’t going to use a spell, but he didn’t need to know that; it also didn’t help that I thought I was going to get kicked out of the wizarding world anyways for doing magic much like what happened last summer with the house elf. To put it lightly my Uncle was beyond mad but let me go on my way with an evil grin knowing that as soon as I left if the wizarding world wouldn’t take me I would have nowhere else to go. At this time, I didn’t care, I’ve had enough of them in my life I was more than willing to live on the street to become a beggar.


The man felt for the boy, what was Potter doing to him? Making him feel for him? If it had been him, he would have left those muggles as soon as he could, they reminded him too much of the orphanage he was in. But at least he had fear to control them, it sounded to him that to those muggles the boy was just a weak individual to pick on out of all the community.


I made my way out that night, with an escaped convict I didn’t know was after me sitting on the street thinking about what I could do; it was only a matter of time before I got a letter from the ministry demanding the snap of my wand, but I couldn't  care less I was free of those blasted muggles for the time being. I saw a movement in the shadows while reflecting what had happened, my eyes straining to see what could possibly be in the shadows, I could have sworn at that I saw a black dog shape break away from the rest of the shadows. I reacted a pulled my wand… How was I suppose to know that pulling your wand on the street was to summon the knight bus.


Would it hurt Potter to read some books while at Hogwarts?


It was there that I learned about Sirius Black being an escaped prisoner, but I didn’t know that he was after me then, neither Stan nor the Prophet never mentioned something like that. It was a woozy trip and not to mention loud, if I ever got back on that death trap it would have been too soon. I was dropped off at the leaky cauldron, and guess who was standing there… The Minster himself, Fudge, my first thought was great I am totally getting kicked out of the wizarding world, good bye friends good bye Hogwarts. It was good while it lasted.


Like that fool Fudge could do anything to the Golden Boy, no matter what he says he needed the boy’s fame to stay in office. The man rolled his eyes, but he would let that pass since the boy wouldn’t have understood at the time. Kids caring what the grown-up world would care about, that is a laugh.


I was about into the leaky cauldron and had a sit-down talk with the minster for the first time since I entered the Wizarding world. Like what Hogwarts 3rd year would be able to say he had a talk to the Minster of Magic only those of Pureblood standing and the right people in place to have influence of who gets into office. It was then I was told that I was offered a room here to stay for the rest of the summer since my Aunt and Uncle where down right furious at me for what I did to Marge, but that I could come back next summer. What a laugh allowed to come back, Ha! I was also in shock when the Minster just laughed off what I did to Marge saying that if he did that to everyone one then Azkaban would be filled up… Then why send that letter last summer… In the end I think I came to the conclusion I would never understand that man and his actions.


For the rest of the Summer I hung out in the Leaky Cauldron going around to shops and window watching since staying cooped up wasn’t much fun. I was later joined by the Weasley Family and Granger, just in the last week to get shopping done for the term as well as Arthur Weasley explaining to me that Sirius Black was after me, and that I needed to take extra precautions this year to stay out of his reach. I guess it was a good thing Uncle Vernon never signed my Permission slip to Hogsmeade.


When getting on the Hogwarts Express was like a great deal of weight was taken off my shoulders. I mean I was going to school where I had nothing to worry about then homework studying test and how to win the Quidditchcup… even is an escape prisoner out on the lose that was out for my blood I was safe, I didn’t have to worry about anything. Hogwarts had wards placed around it to keep people like that out and the whole UK wizarding world was on the look for him, I can actually relax… At least that is what I thought. It was a good train ride; Hermione, Ron, Ginny and I chose a car that Professor Lupin was sleeping in since all the other areas where full. Who wanted to be in the same car as a Professor… Which was a setup, why would a Professor be on the train, when there hasn’t been one on before? I mean there most likely is an escort on the train, but they most likely have their own car that the students can’t get to.


Again, does Potter ever read a book in his life?! He is a little idiot, it is a big surprise that he still alive! There are no teachers on the train what-so-ever, the train is a magical transportation that and the conductor of train runs by itself. It is perfectly safe for the students, they put the trolley on the train to keep kids entertained really. Plus, there are older years along with Head boy and girl and prefects doing rounds on the train so it’s not like they aren’t being watched.


It was just the normal train ride we got some treats off the trolley enjoying catching up with the rest of the school gossip, play exploding snaps when the train comes to a stretching halt. We were all confused at what was going on, I mean this hasn’t happened… Okay I would know that since I’ve only rode the train once before, but I heard other door sliding up and confusing statements from other students, so I could assume alright. I was just sitting down when you felt the air on the train drop 10 degrees, ice started forming on surfaces and it just felt harder to breath hard to feel… Happy… We were in a slight panic with what could possible be happening, we have never felt something like this happen before.


The door to our car slowly started to open… Neville falls into our car giving us a big fright. We of course had a big laugh about this after the fact of everything, but like us he too was confused with what was happening. It was even moments after that the door opened slowly once again. But this time none of our friends came through that door… It was a large cloaked figure one you would associate the grim reaper to, towering in the door way and bony grey hand out reached towards as coldness seeped in everywhere. I looked at the creature that entered our car with dread. The coldness entered my body numbing me was I looked on, stealing my warmth all the way to my core. My heart hurt for some odd strange when the coldness reached there, then I started to fade. My vision tunnelled my happiness fled as the creature hand reached for me. Right before I complete blacked out, I remember a women’s scream, and professor Lupin producing a light from his wand that fought off the cold and loneliness. Then I was gone… That was my first brush with the nasty creature, Dementor I found out once I came to. And my luck was that they were stationed at the school for protective reasons…


The man felt the shivers just thinking of Dementor, they were an interesting creature in the least. But one he tended to avoid because it left a nasty after effect on everyone.


I guess I’ll tell you the memory I relive each time I find a Dementor close to me, but I bet you can guess… I relive the night my parents were murdered, I hear my Dad answer the door yelling at whoever entered, before nothing, I hear my mum hushing me as I cry wondering what the hell was going on. I hear my mum talking to some, pleading the person to leave them be that they don’t want to be in the war… I hear my mum scream as she was killed and a laugh, a cold heartless laugh…


The man felt like a Dementor had come into his home at reading those words, as cold settled over the room. Potter just a babe himself at the time remembers vividly the day his parents were killed, and just how heartless the wizarding world is, or any world is when it comes to war.


After all that was done, we had no more bumps in our journey getting to Hogsmeade, and Hogwarts. Hermione was pulled aside to talk about her schedule classes and I was pulled aside as well to be checked over by Madam Pomfrey. I think I set the record at seeing the school nurse in first minutes of term as well as how many times I found my arse in one to her beds.


I was more then happy to be back once again in the walls of Hogwarts with my friends, even if I had classes going on, it was like a dream I never wanted to wake up from. Everything was nice and magical in this dream that I didn’t want it to end. I was so little, so happy back then… I wish I could go back…


First day of classes was interesting, since I was not interested in trying hard in classes, both because I wanted to experience more fun things then just be stuck doing homework all the time as well as I could out do Dudley at school, so I had to make myself appear dumb. So, with that I signed up for Divination, maybe I had the seer power lying dormant, but I also heard it was a great blow off class. But I quickly learned to hate that class, it was always about predicting my death how the grim was going to get me and death was looming around ever turn… Kind of laughable now that I look back at it, the grim coming for me Ha! The other elective I took was Care of Mythical Creatures with Hagrid because I knew he would make the class fun and I really did have an interest in what other Magical beings were out there, even if they were creatures, plus it was a great class to take is DADA since it would cover a few creatures that we talked about. That was an amazing fun class. I was also taking Transfiguration, Potions, DADA, History, and Charms. I have to say this year DADA was the best one to learn from through out the years at Hogwarts, because we had a teacher that was actually made it fun and had away of teaching. Even if he had a little problem of his own…


It was an interesting year for classes, I think this was the year Malfoy had his ego shoved back into his face. Mr. Hotshot thought he could take on a Hippogriff after I was put through the ring with the beast, he just went up to poor Buckbeak thinking he would just bow down to his whim. To bad for Malfoy he is a wild animal no matter how you look at it, and with is talons rip through his shirt and gave a good claw to his arm and chest. The young Malfoy lied there screaming thinking he was dying, I would have laughed, that is nowhere close to the pain I have felt in my short years of life. Wait a few days for the infection and fevers to run rampant in his body and then tell me you're dying… Sorry not really part of the story, just hating on the bloody git with a silver spoon up his arse is all… well his is more of a spoon in mouth and arse one goes to someone else, but we have a few more years till that person. But it was strange for the git, during potion class one time, he was going on how I would love to exact revenge on Black for what he did… Like he thought what he knew was common knowledge, but Ron shut him up real quick about… I think Malfoy was going to tell me he was my Godfather, but Ron didn’t want me to know that information, but I guess that makes sense… My god it does… Bloody Dumbledore, bloody fucking! I hate the fucking light at what they have done!


The man raised an eyebrow what was Potter talking about had he lost his mind in the middle of letter? Maybe he should stop if Potter can’t keep his thoughts straight.


I am sorry for that, I guess that explains a lot more than I thought about things, I will get to that near the end of my letter, but till then hang on. The next exciting class was Professor Lupin’s DADA class where he introduced a Boggart and allowing us students to face our fears along with the incarnation of how to defeat a Boggart. Neville’s was Professor Snape, Ron’s was a spider, everyone was having a grand old time laughing and smiling, till it reached me… I had no clue what I would fear, Uncle Vernon even though he is just whale of a guy now, darkness but that is just an old friend (A/N: Music Puns!!) my Voldemort… I was not expecting a Fucking Dementor to be mine, Lupin jumped in front of me to put a stop to all the fun and place the Boggart back in the Wardrobe.


It is now the first Hogsmeade trip and after a fail attempt at getting McGonagall to sing my permission slip I just hung around the Castle much like a Dementor myself moping. I ran into Lupin once more, he offered me some company when I had nothing better to do while my friends were galivanting around Hogsmeade. We talked about the Boggart and how it was to represent fear itself, I think really mine was the fear of death. I mean Dementors are the closes thing to death we have, that or a grim, so I guess it’s the way you look at it. If was to face a Boggart now I think it would just shudder at my fears, I have none left anymore… It was a nice afternoon ruined by Snape, then it was just fun with friends when they made their way back to the castle with a bag of goodies, sadly we can’t end on a happy night especially if that night was Halloween. Sirius Black somehow got into the castle and made his way up to our dorms, from there he tried to gain access to our dorms. Good thing the Fat Lady was there, but also sad when he ripped his claws through her painting. That night all students were sent to sleep in the great hall in attempts to keep everyone safe, and said we were to treat it like a big slumber party… No one could since we were afraid with a killer loose in the halls of Hogwarts for the second year in a row.


I think the scariest things that happened that year had to do with quidditch, I love flying and the only way to fly at Hogwarts is if you are on the team. Don’t get me wrong Quidditch is great and all, but I just love the freedom flying gives me. But this first game was enough to put me off from flying for a bit. It was a very rainy day and we were originally supposed to go up against Slytherin, but Draco the git milked his arm so much they had their game pushed back so instead we went again Hufflepuff for the first game. They are a very fine team, for being the joke house of the school. The match we even too, then it was a race to see who would get the Snitch Diggory and myself flying high above everyone’s heads after the golden ball. When suddenly everything started to freeze my insides turned to ice, when we broke through a cloud all we could see where dozens and dozens of Dementors. They were more then happy to have us as a snack as they were still looking for Black, all I remember is my mum and her begging and falling at dizzying speeds. I blacked out before I hit the ground, I think the most frightening part of this was I wasn’t afraid of dying at the moment. I was at peace.


The man got worried at Young Potter’s words a young boy should always be afraid of Death at any age until you are ready to greet him like an old friend. The boy was still too young to know death as a friend just yet, to young.


After the loss of the game, I kind of cornered Professor Lupin after a class to see if he could teach me anything regarding them. Anyway, to defend myself against them, he was very very hesitant about it, and I was almost dishearten when he almost refused. Then he changed his mind, knowing what memory helped with that too, with that Professor Lupin taught me how to cast the patronus charm.


But before my first lesson I was given the opportunity to go to Hogsmeade, thanks to the Weasley Twins who had a wonderful piece of parchment. This parchment was very magical it is known as the Marauder’s Map made up at their time the best pranksters; Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs. It showed all the secret rooms and passages away around Hogwarts passwords and where everyone was. It was a great tool for school when sneaking about, and even more so to escape the castle. I got out of there as fast as I could. Ron put on a happy face to see me while Hermione was a little put off since I was breaking to rules and risking my life (really because I got out from under Dumbledore’s thumb if I snuck around). It was then I caught the tail of a conversation about Black, and I got curious so I followed… There I found out how he was the traitor to my parents how he was the reason they were dead… Reason their friend Pettigrew was dead. How he was my Godfather… I hurt to think yet another family member hated me enough to try to kill me I was broken, and Hermione and Ron didn’t understand that no matter how much they told me they did.


After that adventure my first lesson for patronus charm started, it was interesting to say in the least Professor Lupin had procure another Boggart from Filch’s office to practice on. By the third time of casting I found the right memory to produce a silver like shield not a corporal form just yet, it was exciting to see just the slivery whips from my wand pushing back the Boggart. It made me feel stronger knowing I could protect myself from those monsters.


The rest of the school year flew by, as I did my lessons with Professor Lupin learning more about my dad from him. The sad trial and the date of execution set for Buckbeak, classes, trying to win the Quidditch Cup and the mysterious Firebolt showing. Hermione being Hermione and reporting said Firebolt. All and all it just an average year at Hogwarts, even now with bizarre twisted for the end of the year. I guess I should be happy the Dark Lord took a break of trying to kill me and instead sent my crazed godfather in his place. I guess it’s time to the crazy end of the year adventure are you ready?


The man felt he would need a drink for his, if every year was going to have a crazy adventure.


I am just going to sum up everything as much as I can without losing too much detail… But I suck at summarising if you can’t tell by the length of the letter, anyway lets see how well I can do this time. Ron, Hermione, and I went down to Hagrid’s hut with Buckbeak’s sentence soon to take place we thought we would give him some company. There we found Ron’s rat Scabbers who we thought got eat by Hermione’s pig of a cat Crockshanks (love the cat but he does look like a pig). We were coming to the end of stay when snails started to fly through the window at as, that is when we saw the Ministry appointed executioner was walking out our way so we had to sneak out. We were just about to be back in Hogwarts when the bloody rat went bonkers and escaped Ron’s hold. We ran to get the stupid rat (all the while trying to stay hidden from sight since we aren’t supposed to be on grounds with out an escort) when we came to the whomping willow. Ron caught the bloody beast with a smile we a big black Grim dog got a hold of his leg and drug him through an unseen tunnel underneath the bloody tree. So of course, me and Hermione follow the best we could, we followed the tunnel and came up to the creaking shack, where we met the escaped convict Sirius Black laughing at us with a crazed look in his eye. That is when Professor Lupin showed up and began to be buddy buddy with Black. And somehow Snape showed up as well one big party it seemed.


After listening to their crazy thing about the 4 friends; prongs, moony, wormtail, and padfoot, we learned that they were animagi and that is how they got into so much mischief. Wormtail’s form so happened to be a rat … So strange that Ron’s rat had a single toe missing and had lived for so long. So, we stupefied Snape since he would probably not allow this to happen, and let Black try to prove his innocents to us that Pettigrew was still alive. And just to blow your mind even more it was Pettigrew, so we of course accepted everything without a second thought. I was going to be free of the Dursley house and was going to live with my crazy godfather and live happily ever after…. If only right? Instead Professor Lupin forgot to take his potion and we have a big bad werewolf on our arses trying to kill us then I found myself with Black in front of the lake with hundreds Dementors surrounding us, gods I was going to die then and there at that lake… Then a beautiful stag came to our rescue from the Dementors then I passed out…


You would like that to be it, that I was safe, and that Black somehow got away of his own will even after being almost kissed. Nope nothing in my world could be that simple, my Godfather was taken to the towers waiting for the kiss, Buckbeak is dead and Pettigrew got away… How can I possible fix this mess? Oh it just so FUCKING happens my friend had a time turner… WHO IN THE RIGHT MINDS GIVES A 3RD YEAR A TIME TURNER…. Sorry I just don’t understand anything anymore… So yeah we used the bloody thing to go back in time save Buckbeak, save myself and Sirius from death at the beach, and then break said person out and let him run away from with a dead beast… Such an exciting year… The only good thing that came out of this was I was able to cast a fully corporal patronus.


The man just sighed and ran a hand over his face this bloody boy facing werewolves and Dementor’s in a single night. Gods have mercy on his souls now before he just wraps the boy in protective charms just, so he could reach his 20’s…. Wait no he hates the boy what is he thinking! The man scowled at his thoughts, what is Potter doing to him?


All and all this was a calm year, 4th year we are going to get into a lot of fun (I hope you can feel the sarcasm in that).


The man dreaded to see what can possible be more “fun” then this or those two years before… He was not looking forward to this.

Chapter Text

I am going to try, keyword try, to keep this short… a lot happened in 4th year, but it is one I do not like to dwell on. So it might seem kinda rushed or there might be a lot of ranting… But this might be shorted then the other years.


The man winced he knew why this year would be rough for the boy…


That was the first summer that wasn’t too bad, except for the nightmares, but I didn’t spend too long with my relatives this time. Instead I was allowed to go with the Weasley family to the quidditch world cup. The only mishap was that the Weasleys tried to floo into our house, Uncle Vernon was not impressed with the freakishness in his house. Or the hole in the house where the fireplace was boarded up… Yeah, I was happy to get out of there quickly, he did not enjoy paying for that renovation. I was excited to see the world cup, I mean this would be the first sporting thing, both muggle and wizarding, I would go see… And only I this one kinda of ruined everything that could happen.


Getting to the games was easy enough we met up with the Diggory family, Cedric who was a 7th year Hufflepuff and his father; along with Mr. Weasley, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, the twins and myself. Bill, Charlie and Percy joined us later. We took a portkey to the camp grounds where I helped Mr. Weasley pay the muggle for renting two tents. Kinda of hard to explain how muggle money worked, but the guy was a little understanding once he figured out the we were “foreign”.


It was nice seeing how magical tents work with wizard space, something I don’t think I can ever wrap my head around. Much like Doctor Who it’s bigger on the inside, something every one of his companions never get over.  After that we went to the stadium to watch the game between Ireland and Bulgaria. Ron was a little pouty with me for buying some expensive omnioculars, as if I was trying to show off my money… I had to tell him that I wouldn’t get a Christmas present that year for him. It has to be the highlight of my life, watching the game with my friends smiling as if nothing in the world could touch me… I think this was the last time I truly smiled, last time I had fun for myself… It was after this year I felt truly alone, my friends were found out to be a lie… I wish I could go back to that Harry where he was ignorant to everything that has/will happen to him. Just an orphan boy that knows nothing of the war, nothing of death or sacrifice… to be happy once more.


It was the after game where things went to shite… In celebrating everything we were laughing and dancing around at the win from Ireland, even if Bulgaria caught the snitch, they did score enough otherwise. There was a commotion outside causing an abrupted end to everything… Soon to find out that the death eater the followers of the dark lord decided that they would have some fun too. Everyone of us kids were encouraged to make a break for the trees and away from the open areas and if possible find someone to apparate us. So we did just that we took off running to the tree line as Mr. Weasley, Bill, Charlie and Percy ran into the fight. Adrenaline pumping through us, as we stumbled our way through the tree line tripping over roots dodging stray spells till we were hidden. Somewhere along the way I lost sight of Fred, George, and Ginny leaving only Ron, Hermione and myself there. Till Malfoy showed up saying a few unsightly things before walking away from our group to wait for his father to finish his game of cat and mouse with the muggles and ministry. It was in that moment of silence I realized I lost my wand.


The great boy-who-lived can’t keep his own wand on him. Great this was just great I am defenceless if we were to be discovered by either side. I think it was agreed that I left it in the tent in the rush to leave when the tents near our own caught fire, but I just can’t recall. To much has happened in the last few hours to keep thing straight along with the lack of sleep thanks to the nightmares.


We walked for a while hoping to bump into the twins and Ginny running into a couple French students as well as the house elf from the stands, Hermione was upset that someone would leave the creature left to it’s own. We just decided to take a break from walking when something happened…


It seemed that the fighting was calming down and that the ministry would be wrapping up the last few death eaters that had left just yet when I noticed a figure stride to the middle of an open field and point to the sky and shout’ MORSMORDRE and the Dark Lords mark appeared in the night sky. The serpent mouth gapped as if hissing tying itself around the skull. Shouts from near by had the strange man drop the wand and I rush forward as if to stop him when spells flew over my head. The ministry were in shock and fright at what had just happened.


After that it was a long night explaining how I lost my wand how it was the one that conjured the mark, and how I was the boy-who-lived how dare they think that I would be the one to do such a thing. In the end we were all tired and ready for some hot tea and a warm bed… This was just the beginning of everything. How could the year possibly get any more exciting than this right?


Let’s just skip to the fun part! Since I don’t want to bore you with everything that happened leading up to it. Nice trip on the Hogwarts express after all the ministry stuff, nice opening feast, shock of what seems like a good Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Mad Eye Moody. Oh one more thing the Triwizard tournament was being brought back… But I suppose you already know that, unless you don’t read the papers. If so the Triwizard tournament is a way to test young wizard knowledge of magic, a single student from 3 school are chosen to compete in this. But it was banned due to how much death happen during the task that were set to test them. Some were looking forward to it, me, I would be happy not to spend the year in the public eye in disdain…. If only I could get my wish, right?


Before we get to that though, let’s explain what happened in defense class. Professor Moody thought it would be a wonderful idea if we leaned the unforgiveable curses. Let’s just say it ended okay… Surprisingly, I think the only downside was me living through the Killing Curse once and poor Neville with his parents through the Cruciatus Curse.


With that little snip it out of the way lets head to Halloween, where the three schools were brought together and students put their names forth to be chosen. We have the Bulgarian school Durmstrang, the French school Beauxbatons, and Hogwarts representing the UK. From each school one champion was chosen by the Goblet of Fire, for Durmstrang it was Viktor Krum, for Beauxbatons it was Fleur Delacour, and for Hogwarts it was Cedric Diggory. We all cheered happy that the champions were chosen until the goblet threw a fit and threw one more name…. Bet you can guess. Mine…


I will not lie in that moment my stomach sank to my feet I felt my world crumble, I was nowhere near the required level to compete in such a game. All the rest of the champions chosen were 7th years and myself only being a 4th year. I was pushed forward by my lovely friend, I hope you can feel the hatred, Hermione. Then I could feel the glares coming from Ron at this… Like I wanted to be in the stupid thing in the first place! My God I was going to die, I mean I wouldn’t have minded, but at the same time I would love my death to have less flames and watchers… I don’t want to die with all those eyes watching me as I face my death.


The man rolled his eyes at the dramatics of the young wizard.


So that is how I got put into the Triwizard Tournament, unwillingly, and instead of anyone helping I was forced to compete… For them this is a downside. From that day forward, I was now in control of everything I was an adult… And let’s just say I am very unhappy with how things happened when I was not able to control my own things.


So, I think I am going to go a little fast on the first trial and second trial, they weren’t much, and I also don’t want to take to much time on this year. It’s 5th and 6th year that are going to be very interesting and I am wanting to end this letter soon.


So for the first task we were given no hints… as a whole, we figured it out be it by headmaster/mistress or like me through the grounds keeper. Ron did try to take credit in saying it was his idea, but we all know he is a one brain cell person who couldn’t tie his own shoe without someone telling him to. He could even manage to poke his own eye out with his wand. Anyway, I found out the task had something to do with dragons, gave Diggory a warning. Which thankfully he believed and set about finding a way to not die from the fire beast. Easier said then done. In the end I accioed my broom, fly around the dragon… Not the best idea but that is all I had at the time… I feel judgement, I was a 4th year! Cut me some slack. So, the day came and we found out they were nesting mothers and we were to take the golden egg so we can get the clue for the next task. Many near death experiences later, I had my egg! Along with every other champion. But what good use is a screeching egg, when it is opened?!


Next was the god-awful yule ball, can’t dance to save my life. Hermione went with Viktor, Ron was an ass. Then Diggory gave the worst hint imaginable for the bloody screeching egg. Take a fucking bath. Like sure thanks I gave you a direct hint of what the first task is, couldn’t you do the same? No, okay then, prick. So I take a bath with the bloody thing, come to find out there are mermaids in black lake you have to swim for an hour and recover whatever they took. Great, had to find a spell or something that would help with that.


Thank god for Neville and his love for Herbology, gave me a plant that would help me with this task. Then Dobby for being able to get the plant from under Snape’s big nose. Big day comes and come to find out the item that I must retrieve was Ron… I should have just left him there and just take a zero on the task. Prat deserves to rot at the bottom of the lake… But not the little French girl who couldn’t be saved by her sister so at least I helped her out.


The last task was a maze, simple enough, with creatures hidden throughout and we must know which spells to use to defeat them. Easy enough I can do that, I love creatures and DADA combine the two together and I think I can place myself in 6th or 7th year. I say that because secretly when Ron is asleep, I study when I can’t sleep. Took the twins and Percy’s old textbooks when they weren’t using them.


So I go through the maze fought a few creatures, was poisoned, had my leg broken but made it to the cup after saving the bloody Hufflepuff. We both grab the cup and were whisked away to a graveyard, where the Dark Lord was. Wormtail did a ritual and sliced  my arm open to bring him back in a half humanoid form. Or at least that is what I remembered at the time as well as what was told to the press.


What really happened was this, Dumbledore kidnapped both me and Cedric. He didn’t kill Cedric but instead paid for his family to flee the country. With me, he roughed me up, used dark magic and inserted false memories into my mind. He had a golem made for the Puff to take his place, to seal the deal on evidence that the possible Dark Lord was back.


I now know that the Diggory’s are living somewhere in Italy on a nice beach with money Dumbledore gave them… WHICH HE STOLE ONCE AGAIN FROM MY ACCOUNTS. They have been living a better life there then they had back in the UK. Sad for them it will soon come to the end. I am going to undo everything Dumbledore has done over the year piece by piece. You will soon see, for after the heart-breaking summer of 4th year; I start to learn the truth… Sadly not before I could prevent something happening in 5th year, but enough come 6th year where the public will turn against the light lord, and the goblins are willing to help. You will soon see…


The man was shocked to and eager to see what the boy had planned for the headmaster. This will be the downfall of Albus the self-elected light lord. There was a Dark Lord out there but not the one Albus wanted everyone to see. Did the boy know that?

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We only have two more years left, just two then you can do whatever you want. Unless you stopped reading or never read this in the first place and that’s cool to. But I mean I am still going to write this as a coping thing, maybe this will help in the long run… Maybe it won’t…


Just two more years and the first 4 have been bad, could it get worse? How much more is the boy going to suffer?


So, I am going to try to keep the next two years short, if that is possible. I’m going to skip a whole lot of in-between things, things that aren’t relevant. But just remember there were a lot of hidden things going on this year that I am not going to touch.


So as always, I will start with my awful muggle family, I once again spent the summer with them. Me with my messed-up mind from seeing someone dying in front of my eyes, or at least I thought he did. I would at this point have PTSD or at least that is what Muggles call it, I have no idea if it has some other type of meaning in wizarding world, but I’ll stick with this. PTSD is post traumatic stress disorder, I might have had it all my life if we really think about it, but it wasn’t outside noticeable until this point in time.


It was hard to sleep without thinking about what happened, I didn’t eat that much, but that is also because of my relatives, I just wanted to be left alone most of the time and my “family” was more than happy to let that happen. I think this was one of the first summer’s where I wasn’t made to do too many chores since I was always messing something up. My aunt was all too happy to throw me out of the house at point. I started to just hang around a small abandoned park. I would just sit on the swings all day thinking about where my life went wrong, and what has happened. My thoughts were dark at that point. I just wanted to escape reality, I was spending more time in my head then anything it seems.


When I was spending time at the park my cousin and his friends would come and pick on me, more name calling and all that. But left after 15-20 minutes when they got no response. I think another that hit me hard during this point was my “friends” never sent a letter to me, neither did Sirius I heard from no one that summer. It hurt knowing that they were just ignoring me, that they might think that I was lying about what happened.


It was nearing the end of the summer, right around the time when our school letters would come in and I would take my leave, and I still hadn’t heard anything from anyone by that point. I was sitting at the park, really contemplating life, I think at this point I was trying to remember why I needed to stay alive and what the point in living was. Really heavy thinking on that swing happened.


The man wasn’t surprised to know the boy thought about death, but it really hit him hard that the youth actually had to think about why he needed to keep living. The man really hoped that someone reached through to the younger man to help him.


My cousin and his friends were hanging around the park as well picking on younger teens looking to take their lunch money or ice cream money way for themselves. It was getting rather late when Dudley’s closes friend leaves calling him “Big-D”. I poked fun at him, asking him if his friends know what Aunt Petunia calls his at home, but I pushed my luck too far. Dudley started to making fun of me calling me a fag for calling out Cedric’s name in my sleep and all that. Making fun of my nightmares of how I almost died. I kinda of zoned out at a point and next thing I know I had my wand in my hand and Dudley is up against a wall yelling at me to “not point that thing at him.” I taunted him for a bit daring him to continue; at this point I was looking for a fight hoping he would punch me. Maybe that would actually make me feel something rather than nothing.


A cold breeze started to set into the air, I thought it was just the summer night cooling down, until we started to see our own breath. Ice started to form on the surfaces around us. My anger and sadness seemed to triple inside my head, I knew then, that there was a dementor hanging around. I swung my wand and saw it standing just yards away from us, I pushed Dudley away telling him to go home. I don’t know why I felt like Dudley needed to be defended especially after all that he has done to me, but facing something you cannot see is worse than those you can see. Dudley doesn’t even take a second thought at my command and runs for it, seeming to scream over his shoulder something like how Uncle Vernon will hear about his. But his words fade as the dementor grows ever closer to me. My wand held tightly in my hand as I watch the thing glide over not making a noise just steadier coming closer.


I do nothing I just stand there the dark feelings coming in, the thoughts about death and not wanting to live are forefront in my mind. I am wanting to have the kiss happen I am wanting to see death. I know these thoughts aren’t “normal” but for me it’s the big debate. The bony hand of the dementor slowly reaches out towards me, its cold fingers brushing my neck, and I close my eyes ready for it. The coldness brought by these things aren’t as cold as how I already feel inside. Yes, death would be meeting me soon.


The man threw the letter down in anger and desperation, he could not read anymore he could not read about this child wanting death! He wants to do everything in his power to protect children from muggles to protect them from what Harry or Severus or hell even he, himself went through. He wanted to protect the children of pureblood families from child abuse when they thought their children didn’t have magic. He wanted to help them, yet he was stopped time and time again saying that kids needed to stay with them since they were blood related. Hell, the muggles where doing a better job than their own ministry when it came to removing children from abusive situations, sadly the outcome wasn’t always good even after a removal. The man ran a hand through his brown hair he couldn’t read on, but he needed to, he needed to know more about Harry. He would just speed read this part, he couldn’t handle the thought of one so young thinking about ending his life.


The man started reading again by skimming through parts, on how the boy was face to face with the dementor how he was snapped out of it by his cousin, how the bloody ministry called a hearing for him. The man reached a part where he thought he was safe to start reading normally again as it was where the boy was with his godfather and friends.


I had a long, exhausting time, all I wanted was some warm food and a bed to sleep on. Instead I was stamped on by my friends throwing themselves at me asking how my summer has been and all of that. To say that I was upset was an understatement. Here are these two lounging around in a nice fucking place hanging with my godfather and never once thought they could write me! “Oh, but Dumbledore told us not to” bullshite! Since when did we listen to adults, since when did we care about the fucking rules. I wanted nothing to do with them for the rest of night, hell I didn’t want anything to do with them for the rest of the year if especially Ron after what he did last year. He was already on thin ice and now, I was beyond livid, if it hadn’t been such a rough day already, I would have torn into their arses about true fucking friendship. This was just the start of the end of out friendship. The rest of the year we weren’t the same, I distance myself from them and they did the same. Did I feel bad? Hell no. Did I feel lonely, yes, very much. This was too close to 2nd year as it came. This year I was in isolation from the whole school once again, even the headmaster wanted nothing to do with. Plus, that bitch would be at the school. I am surprised that I didn’t end things that year, I was such a fucking mess with all the stuff from last year and then the stupid visions and the not so friends and ministry. How did I make it through that year without ending it was my real question….


I-I am sorry for that rant, to you it is the next sentence for me it has been a couple hours, I had to calm down as much as I could in this small place, but yeah… 5th year is going to be a tough year to say in the least. I guess I should start explaining things better. Well as we already know my friends hadn’t written me all summer, it was due to the fact they were staying in this sort of Headquarters’ set up by the headmaster. It was for an organization that he started during the first rise of the “Dark Lord” in hopes that the number of soldiers he had on his side would outnumber the other. They were using my Godfathers old childhood home as cover since it was placed under the fidelius charm. The Order of the Phoenix was the stupid bird club name, and they thought it would be a good idea to keep this hidden from me, but not the other teenagers around even though they were most likely to brag about it, and they did. I think I was the only one that never let is slip until now, but what’s the point in keeping it a secret anymore? I want the bloody thing destroyed and all those people’s reputation tarnished in hopes they can never make a livelihood in the wizarding world again.


But I guess the bright side the thing I did that they weren’t able to do was sit in on a meeting and learn something about the war they didn’t. Sirius, I love him very much but he doesn’t have a clue on how dangerous it is to have a young teen in on a super-secret meeting if we are honest. It wasn’t going over much, not like the big details that I had to learn later, which then turned out to be completely false and a lie. There is nothing in my life that has been true, well except my parents being dead that was true. But after that nothing much else.


I spent about a week in this small cramped house. I was happy to be out of the Dursley’s house, and it felt like that dark veil that which had settled over me while staying there was slowly lifted from my eyes. I started to feel again, I felt happyish, I laughed, I felt warm, in all I felt better at this point. I was actually looking forward to going back to Hogwarts, looking forward to classes, I was looking forward to life and that is a big step from where I was at. I guess it did help I was surrounded by people and that I wasn’t left alone too long. With that I went back to school happy instead of depressed and angry all the time. I had a real good outlook for this year, but of course I can never have a good year. At one point during the train ride we did find a new strange girl went by the name Luna Lovegood, a very sweet, down to earth person. Very strange in the way she does things but a good friend. One of my only true friends.


The man was happy to see the teen was happy, but he knew that the sadness and anger were just hidden below the surface. The boy needed a good support system in his life something that he never had, if only he could help him. He was also very happy to see the boy finding true friendship. One always needs a true friend to have your back.


The year at Hogwarts was going to be a tough one, with everyone shunning and the ministry placing a bitch in charge. I was just a big target. The first hour back at the feast and sorting, Dumbledore introduced the new DADA teacher a woman named Dolores Umbridge later we started calling her toad and bitch in private. She interrupted the headmaster in the middle of his introductions and rules that the school (really the first years) needed to know. She then proceeds to go on a speech about how great the ministry is and how it wants to help out Hogwarts and the future generations, basically she was a ministry spy.


It was proven how much she was spy for the ministry during her first class, she handed out these books with simple instructions on what to do or what not to do. A ministry handguide if you will; in this place we are to learn the principles of defense magic, understand when we could use them, and context on when defense magic is practical to use in short, we would not be using wands nor would we be practicing magic during this time. We are to learn how to be the perfect puppets for the ministry and how we need to restrict the use of magic to only those who need it.


We voiced our opinion that this was barbaric, that the ministry didn’t need this level of control. But once we point out that we were at war, I was given detention. Nothing new there for me, I was to use to being the punching bag for every I was thinking that she would make me write lines or even cleaning something. I was wrong, this was the worst detention I would ever have, I was not wrong in thinking that I would have to write lines, but I was using a blood quill. The scar that bloody thing left is still enacted upon my hand, granted covered by other scars, but still somehow it is the most prominent thing you see when looking.


Attached to the page as a picture of the boy’s hand, the hand was very bony you can see the joints and the outline of the tendons, it was very disturbing to see. The man knew this was the effect of being starved, there were well faded scars some looked like burn marks, other were a little hard to tell. But right in the middle of the boy’s hand was a well white scar, and as he said the most noticeable thing. “I must not tell lies,” clearly imprinting on to the boy’s skin forever there.


I attached the picture so you can see that damage the vile women left on me, another scar that I hate upon my body something that I had to live with and hide from everyone. But I guess in the end I was sprouting lies, lies that were fed to me. So, I guess I deserve these words upon my skin so people can forever know that I am a liar.


 All the man wanted to do was find this woman and strangle her, this boy has never done anything wrong, yet the world wants to punish him for everyone’s wrong doing. The man has given up on disliking the boy after everything the young man has gone through, he deserved to live in a better world then what he was currently living in.


The year was just made up of that, the vile bitch calling me in for detention after detention, the blood quill making the scar go deeper and deeper, I would not be surprised if I had nerve damage from that bloody thing. On top of that I was having nightmares, of walking a corridor every night in the ministry, it was “visions” from the Dark Lord later found out that the headmaster had implanted the memory into my mind and cast mind magic to make me dream it every night.


On top of that I was being asked if I want to train some students since the bloody witch from the ministry wasn’t doing her job. I was just so tired and I was ready to break. Constantly being ignored by everyone, then they wanted to use me as a teacher. I have no clue why I said yes but I did, and I was just stretched so thin, that the headmaster thought I needed to have an extra hand at the visions to make me realize what was really happening.


The nightmare started with the same stupid corridor, but this time I heard hissing, which is strange since I can understand snakes. This should have told me that this was not what I thought it was, this was all just a made up dream someone controlling my mind, someone who could not understand snakes. But I didn’t realize it until later, in the dream I was the snake slithering down this corridor which was being guarded by Mr. Weasley, and I attacked. I could taste his blood in my mouth hear his screams. Come to find out Dumbledore attacked his own man and changed his memory to confirm my “dream”. Poor Mr. Weasley had no idea what happen, and he was left there to die by his “leader”. I awoke from this dream and was dragged before the headmaster. I told him of this “vision”, and he took action I was getting very nasty look from Ron who didn’t know how to process this information along with the fact that his dad was dying at the ministry of magic.


I was tired of being ignored by all that I yelled at the headmaster demanding “what is wrong with me?!” I think this was the moment the Headmaster saw me as a broken weapon this time instead of just his weapon. From there he told me I would be having lessons with Professor Snape, to fix the problem he caused. For the rest of the year I was getting lessons from my most hated professor, learning occlumency or in this case I was just mind raped by my professor. This was a skill that I could not learn since my mind has been broken one to many times, since I have such a bad depression that had limited the amount of control I had over my mind. But yet we continued I was a mess after reliving my childhood, and memories along with those detentions from Umbitch I was just dead. It was no surprised that they found out about the stupid club, I was kinda of happy it was found out one less worry on my plate.


Even with all the “lessons” I was having Dumbledore still sent those dreams, but he overstepped at one point and sent it during the day, it was the day of celebration because that is also the day we got rid of the pesky woman too. It was after a firework display from the twins tore through the testing room and chased Umbridge around and ended up lighting her on fire. It was a vision of Sirius getting tortured sent by Dumbledore. I tried to get in contact with him via floo, but Umbridge caught us, and almost used an illegal potion on us, before we took, he to the woods her Hagrid was hiding his half brother who is a full giant. There the centaurs took care of her for endangering us young foals. Centaurs really love their young, even though they hate us wizard they want nothing bad to happen with us, since we are so young, they are really nice once you talk with them, Luna showed me how to do that.


Anyway, a group of us students took off to the ministry to stop whatever was going on, there was me, Hermione, Ron, Luna, Neville, and Ginny. We all took Thestral’s they are very smart creatures, and very sweet, I think they are my favourite creatures you could get to know once you get past the smell. From there we made it to the Hall of Prophecies in the Department of Mysteries, Dumbledore then entered our minds to make us think that we were fighting against Death Eaters and the Order of the Phoenix was there to save us. He also made me think that my Godfather was killed during that fight in the Death Chamber slipping through the Veil, I went mad I was no longer myself. There was my last hope of a family slipping through my fingers, I broke… I am still broken Sirius didn’t understand why Dumbledore ordered him not to write me, didn’t understand why I was to be left alone. He still loved me, but he followed the man's rules thinking that he was keeping me safe. If he broke the rules I would not be as broken as I am now. If these lies didn’t get so wrapped together, I would be willing to live….


The man’s heart broke for the boy, wanting nothing more then to pick the boy up from the pages of this letter to comfort him and hide him from Dumbledore. He needed none of this pain, that Albus was putting him through. He was just a regular boy and he deserved to be loved, yet it was always taken away from him.


I think that is enough from 5th year, just one more year to go…

Chapter Text

I think this is going to be the shortest year yet, I am not going to go into much detail… It’s rough for me to write this year out, even though it just happened… But it’s the turning year, so I will stick with the highlights, just giving you a brief run down of the year…


My heart was bleeding all summer. Nothing my relatives said or did could draw me out of my despair. My godfather passed through the veil; my only true family left me in this world alone. I had nothing left to continue living for. I just wanted to end everything, and I almost did that summer. I think I gave my aunt a fright that morning…


The man took a shaky breath, he truly hoped that this was not going to be how he thought it be.


It was during the third night of little to no sleep, the voices kept yelling at me, telling me how I would never be loved that, I was just a disappointment, that I should just die… I agreed with them more then anything in that moment locked up in my tiny room with no escape. The window bared up, my door locked from the outside, everything I owned locked down in my old cupboard. The voices just grew louder and louder as the night progressed, the echoes taunting. I just wanted them to shut up. I wanted peace. I grew desperate; I was rocking on the wood floor of my room, crying in silence. Why could I never be saved? Why must I save everyone, and why must those I wish I could save died? I was alone. There was nothing left. My nails were digging into the wood, my fingers bloody looking for something. I managed to pry a nail from the floor somehow in my desperation. I hissed as the nail bit into my skin. I looked down to see blood from a small puncture wound on my thumb. Pain would quiet the voices down a bit to where they were just whisper, a whisper of thoughts, but it lasted just for a moment before they where back to yelling at me. I am not proud of myself, but I self harmed for the first time that summer. I would cut anywhere I could get, on my arms and thighs. I wish I could say that someone saved me that summer but that would have mean someone would have noticed someone that would have cared. Cutting turned into a scary thing it was something I needed, something that I craved; it stopped the pain inside me but at the same time it just brought more suffering. I look down at my scars not only from myself but also from what my uncle has given me, and from my mishaps at Hogwarts and all I see is a weak boy one where if something went wrong all the blame went to me. I was just the wizarding worlds scapegoat, I still am… This summer was just as bad as the last summer, but this time I was stuck here even after I got out of Hogwarts, I have no family left for me to run to. My fight to live and to stay in the wizarding world is fading. Why would I go back to something that hates me one second and praises me the next? I am tired of the ice-cold society of the wizarding world.


The man was white as a ghost. In the wizarding world it was very uncommon for a wizard to do such acts as what Potter was doing. But at the same time, they would go see a mind healer before things got as bad as what happened to Potter. Hell, if they didn’t want to go see a mind healer at least the person most likely had friends or family to help them out. Poor Potter just lost the last piece of his family and hasn’t had the proper mourning needed.


That was my whole summer really. My relatives were willingly to ignore me all summer, since I wasn’t causing trouble. Then Dumbledore showed up, taking me away. I was still numb still cold. He took me to recruit a new professor to bring to Hogwarts then left me, at the same time informing me that I happened to inherit everything from Sirius. The cold inside me became worse. It was now a roaring blizzard once again and I was just a block of ice. What was the point in living anymore?


After the little detour to recruit Slughorn, he took me to the Burrow for the rest of the summer. Not even there could I escape the cold and voices inside me. The twins stopped by when they could get away from the shop. Yes, they finally opened their dream joke shop with the help of my earnings from the Tri-wizard tournament. They called me their silent partner, but really, I don’t want them to give me a cut it’s all their own hard work going into it.


On our yearly run to Diagon ally, we spotted Draco Malfoy. He looked to be in the depths of self-loathing as much as I was. I guess that is what happens when your father is taken to Azkaban. Also considering how the family “disgraced the dark lord,” what was I thinking that he could possible be a death eater? He was just going through a rough time in his life just like myself, finding out that his father wasn’t the big powerful man that he was supposed to be. Granger and Weasley wanted to go see what Malfoy was up to. I just wanted to go back to the dark hovel they drag me out of, so of course I followed. Needless to say we saw “suspicious” activity that might indicate that he might be a death eater or have a task from the dark lord himself… In all honesty, it looked like he was looking to pawn something or for some heirloom that left over in Borgin and Burkes. But my two “friends” were always looking for a way someone was evil.


The other two of the golden trio were so adamant that he was up to something and kept on talking about it. Even on the train they kept going on and on. I was just done and fed up by that point. I really didn’t interact with them by that point, but I also didn’t interact that much with them at all, of course they didn’t seem to notice or care.


The first few days back all fused together. I was forced back into Potions class even though I didn’t make the grade for it. It was a whirlwind of classes, homework, quizzes, and seeing what the Headmaster wanted. It seemed this year the Headmaster decided to “teach me.” I guess he learned the ignoring his weapon was not the best choice. I think the only great part of this whole first few days was that since I wasn’t planning on taking potions, I didn’t get the book needed, so I had to take a class copy that had notes in the margins written by someone called “the Half Blood Prince”. He had very nifty tricks and was really going to save my arse in potions. He even won me the lady luck of potions, Felix Felicis, so I at that point I thought the year was going to get better… How wrong could I be?


Most of my year was consisted of going to classes, “stalking Malfoy” (more like watching the map along with my “friends” to see what he was up to) and reading my potion books. The biggest thing were my meetings with the headmaster where I looked at memories from the past about one boy called Tom Riddle. He had a hard life as mine we where very much alike, we were both orphans, not wanted by those around us, no love for us, and Dumbledore ruining our lives… My life was way too much like the boy Dumbledore was showing me, for a moment I thought it was my life. He was raised by strangers while I was raised by blood, he was a Slytherin while I was a Gryffindor, he was dark while I was light (or so I’ve been told). There were differences between us, but there were not that many. Why didn’t I turn out like him? I knew I was not strong as people thought I was, if myself harm was anything to go by. I didn’t dwell on such thoughts for too long. There were too many “what if” questions that I didn’t want answered.


The Half Blood Prince has become one of my best friends if that was possible of a book, he has a dark sense of humour much like my own. He was a gifted spell crafter and potion maker. I am hoping whoever, he was did something with his life. If not, his talent would be waste.


I just wish I knew my Latin better… It happened during a dark moment in Hogwarts, my thoughts were dark that day, and self-harm was something nagging me all day. I ducked into the nearest bathroom to avoid everyone. There was too much noise both inside my head and out. I couldn’t concentrate anymore; I wanted the words to stop… It also happened to be the same bathroom one Draco Malfoy had also stepped into. He looked about as rough as I felt in that moment; he was deathly pale and dark rings circled his eyes. I could understand his pain even though I don’t think he would ever believe me saying that. He was angry with me, and he told me that once he realized I was there with him, his wand pointed at me with a threatening spell on the tip of his tongue… But, I fired first. I fired a spell I learned from the Prince, one I just read hours earlier… It was bad… Cuts appeared on his chest as if knives where slicing through his skin blood pouring on the bathroom floor. He was lying there dying, and I could do nothing… He didn’t deserve that; I did. I was the one to cast that nasty curse on him. Snape just happened by at the right time, he saved Draco. Of course finding Draco injured by my doing increased his hatred towards me, but I’m use to that… After that incident I went back to cutting when I could. I deserve the pain I inflected on myself. I deserved ever single moment of it…


The man wanted to help Harry as much as could, but sadly the only way he could do so was if he managed to turn back time to either before his parents died or just right when Dumbledore left him on the front steps on his relatives’ house. He is asked do too much for the wizarding world and gets nothing in return.


So, for you, this is the next paragraph, for me, this is a new day… I had a take a breather from writing after that. This year is still too fresh and still hurts too much, so sorry for the sudden jump, but I needed the break. I am hurting now and my uncle is mad at me. But, I only have two days till I turn 17, then I am free… That won’t come soon enough for me. Let’s get back to 6th year shall we?


I was in a dark place, when I found out the truth about Voldemort and the reason, he was still alive… Horcruxes, he split his soul in 6 six of them… Such as nasty pieces of magic, but one way to ensure you have a leg up in war. Dumbledore explained that he found where one was and retrieved it as well as the reason his hand was curse and He told me he had recently found another, and he wanted me to go with to collect it. Of course, being the golden boy, I was I went with… It was in a deserted cave, cold and surrounded by water and inferi. Those were easy to cross at first. It was the potion protecting the awful thing that did Dumbledore in; he drank this poison, his mind slipping with each drink till the last drop was drunk. I grabbbed the thing, but Dumbledore was so lost in memories and illusions that making the trip back was difficult. I thought for sure one of us would have died…. Well one did, but that was through all the planning and chess pieces he used.


When we got back Hogwarts, Dumbledore apparently asked Snape to kill him and he Snape did… How do I know you ask? Those stupid Order members don’t think to add wards to the areas they speak in. It was a few days after Snape killed Dumbledore and fled Hogwarts that I decided a trip up to the headmaster’s office was needed… They had a meeting for the Order going on, and they didn’t think I would make an appearance up there so they spoke of their plans. I was to play sacrificial lamb to them. Apparently my “will” was written where all the money would go to the Weasley family and Granger, Voldemort would die, and the wizarding world be safe. I will say this now, I didn’t know about my will being filled out since I do not visit Gringotts often. I knew I had to make a trip there when I could, and I did so shortly before penning this letter. I learned quite a bit in that trip…


The first thing I learned was that Dumbledore was stealing from my vaults. Where the Weasleys and Granger had received my stolen possessions: money, heirlooms, books. You name it, and it was taken leaving me almost penniless…or at least the Potter vaults, the others they didn’t know about. Of course, the Goblins retrieved everything back for me once they learned of this. I am once again one of the richest wizards, the Potter line is right behind the Black line, and those behind Malfoy’s… But that is not including the inheritance test that was done just to prove I was the true Heir Potter and that I did not authorize everything being taken… So many lines came up that I could have access to, as stated in the first part of this letter Lord Slytherin… Apparently my mother was not a muggleborn student, instead a the first magical decadent in generations from a dead line that had been forced out the magical world and into the muggle world and their line of magic was hidden until my mother… My parents knew and were thinking of switching to the dark side of the war; that was when Dumbledore fast forward his plans in having my parents killed to make sure he could still have claim over me and my line as my magical guardian. But his plan is now falling apart! I’ve learned everything, and now time it’s for me to take revenge…


The man felt scared for those who wrong Potter, but at the same time he was intrigued at what Potter could possibly have instore of those Order members…

Chapter Text

Chapter 10: Last will and testament

Dark Ending


I guess I should explain better of what I heard, everything came out in a rush. I’ve calmed down a lot since the last time I sat and wrote everything, but I am starting to get tired. Even if I don’t finish this part, I don’t think I can write any more after today.


As I said, I went up to the headmaster’s office a few days after his death. I don’t know what I was hoping to find; more clues on Voldemort, or maybe just a quiet place to think. I don’t know. I got to the gargoyle guarding the headmaster’s office and he seemed to give me a sad look before jumping to the side without a password. If I was in my right mind at the time, I would have thought that strange, but I wasn’t. I was just going through the motions of living at that point. As I neared the top, I heard muffled voices, I thought it was strange, but continued on heading towards the office. The door was open a crack and I could see people inside. There was all the Weasley family minus the twins, Granger, Mad Eye Moody, and Lupin,. I wanted to go in and see what they where talking about, but I was frozen at the same time as if I wasn’t allowed to move in to see what was happening in there. Then they began to talk….


“How much longer until we can kill Potter?” Ganger asked.


“Sorry sweetie, we have a little bit more work to get through, Ginny still needs to date him,” Mrs. Weasley said, running a hand through Ginny’s hair.


“But Mum, I don’t want to!” Ginny screamed, much like her mother does, “He is a good-for-nothing boy, he isn’t even cute. I want to date Dean.”


“I know sweetie but you need to date him. Have a few stories written and pictures of you guys taken so when we do kill him, the will won’t be a shock with him leaving you everything.”


“I guess all his money will be good,” Ginny said, still pouting.


“Just a year or two more before we can get rid of him.”


“That’s if the boy doesn’t do anything stupid,” Moody said, “I mean after all these years, you would think the boy had a death wish or something.”


“You would too, Alastor, after everything he has gone through.”


“Oh shut up Lupin, you are just upset we had to take care of your boyfriend.”


“So what does the will actually say?” Ron asked, “I mean, I want to make sure I get my fair cut after all the years I had to deal with him.”


“Oh Ronald! Don’t worry, you are getting your fair share, Dumbledore had it planed that way,” Granger said, “I know I am getting all of the books that the Potters own, and I am excited. Did you know there are a few books that are no longer in print or even they might be the last copy.”


“Oh grow up, Hermione! You will have too much time at your job in the ministry to even open a book to read.”


The meeting continued for a long time, talking about the will they made and how everything was going to be split, I was just feeling sick to my stomach. I left as soon as I heard them getting ready to close up the meeting and I ran for the dorm, closing the curtain around my bed. I heard Ron come into my room and I knew, starting that night, that I needed to beat them at their own game. So, I fled to Gringotts as soon as everyone was asleep and demanded to talk to the king. Needless to say, he was unhappy with the demand but granted the meeting anyways, even if it was just to kill me.


But when I told him what had happened with my accounts and the will that was unlawfully made, the goblin that went behind the king and Gringotts’ rules had been beheaded and my accounts fully audited for free. I made a real will that is tied by both my magic and blood and will be activated at my death. Madam Bones, a Prophet writer, and everyone will be invited to the will reading but the truth will come out and everyone in that room will be on their way to Azkaban. If they try to escape, the Goblins will take matters into their own hands. Needless to say, the last of the magic blood will be spilled that day and the war will be ended. I left you something in my will too, you just need to show this to Gringotts to get it they will know it’s from me.


After making the will, I did my inheritance test. I found out the dark secret that my mum was related to the Gaunt family by a squib they threw out of the line. So she was Heiress to the Slytherin line, after Tom that is. She found that out and started to do her research of any books that where left in the vaults she could get into, that is including the dark rituals and other things. I found a few journals both Dad and she left saying Dad knew of the dark magic that was performed but he loved Mum just as much as he did before he knew. Of course, it was a shock to learn your wife was a dark witch, but that changed nothing. There where personal notes left for me to read, it was a hard time that day after everything.


I do thank you for reading my fellow witch or wizard and I hope to meet you soon.


Much love and thanks


Harry Potter


The man sat there in shock. Lily Potter was a long-lost cousin of the Gaunt’s and a Dark Magic user. Potter not being shocked was not a big shock due to the Potters being a dark grey family back in the day. His father did teach the boy right then.


Words start to magic write themselves at the bottom of the letter,


Find me at 4 Privet Drive, Little Whinging, Surrey. 2nd bedroom upstairs, the one with all the locks.


The man sat in shock. He had sat reading this letter all day long without realizing. He was not supposed to care about the boy, but he did… He sprang from the couch, summoning his coat, before apparating out of the room straight in front of a muggle-looking house. He thought he was in the wrong place before remembering that the boy lived at his muggle aunt and uncle’s.


He stormed up to the door and, without thinking, blew the door off the hinges. He heard shouting, but he didn’t care, he would take of the muggles later but first he had to find the boy. He flew up the stairs looking about for the door, that wasn’t hard with so many locks to keep a boy in and cat flap for the food. He hadn’t lied…


The man blew open the door and raced inside… But he was too late. Jade glassy eyes looked at him without seeing, boring into the red wine eyes of the man, a potion bottle loosely held in his hand... He had poisoned himself. He had been too late… Just looking at the youth was too much, as well. He was just a skeleton, skin and bones. It was such a horrific sight to see. The man felt tears leaking from his own eyes at the sight of a poor young wizard who felt taking his own life was better then living. Tom Marvolo Riddle, a powerful dark wizard, was too late saving Harry James Potter. Harry did not deserve this. Tom moved closer and placed his hand on top of the young wizard’s head…


“I am sorry.”


* * * * Time skip * * * *


It was a tough time for Tom. He went to Gringotts with the news of Harry Potter dying at his own hands. They sent out letters about the will reading and everyone came in shocked but also happy and Tom sat disillusioned as the will reading went on. It soon became apparent they weren’t happy Harry had found out about the will changing. Madam Bones did her job in escorting everyone to Azkaban but everyone was saying that the boy was a lair that they did nothing of the sort. But the rest of the wizarding world was calling for their death, saddened by the new of the boy-who-lived took his own life to escape another death. And Tom, well he spent time with the snowy owl apologizing to her about not saving him in time.



Happy Ending


I guess I should explain better of what I heard, everything came out in a rush. I’ve calmed down a lot since the last time I sat and wrote everything, but I am starting to get tired. Even if I don’t finish this part, I don’t think I can write any more after today.


As I said, I went up to the headmaster’s office a few days after his death. I don’t know what I was hoping to find; more clues on Voldemort, or maybe just a quiet place to think. I don’t know. I got to the gargoyle guarding the headmaster’s office and he seemed to give me a sad look before jumping to the side without a password. If I was in my right mind at the time, I would have thought that strange, but I wasn’t. I was just going through the motions of living at that point. As I neared the top, I heard muffled voices, I thought it was strange, but continued on heading towards the office. The door was open a crack and I could see people inside. There was all the Weasley family minus the twins, Granger, Mad Eye Moody, and Lupin,. I wanted to go in and see what they where talking about, but I was frozen at the same time as if I wasn’t allowed to move in to see what was happening in there. Then they began to talk….


“How much longer until we can kill Potter?” Ganger asked.


“Sorry sweetie, we have a little bit more work to get through, Ginny still needs to date him,” Mrs. Weasley said, running a hand through Ginny’s hair.


“But Mum, I don’t want to!” Ginny screamed, much like her mother does, “He is a good-for-nothing boy, he isn’t even cute. I want to date Dean.”


“I know sweetie but you need to date him. Have a few stories written and pictures of you guys taken so when we do kill him, the will won’t be a shock with him leaving you everything.”


“I guess all his money will be good,” Ginny said, still pouting.


“Just a year or two more before we can get rid of him.”


“That’s if the boy doesn’t do anything stupid,” Moody said, “I mean after all these years, you would think the boy had a death wish or something.”


“You would too, Alastor, after everything he has gone through.”


“Oh shut up Lupin, you are just upset we had to take care of your boyfriend.”


“So what does the will actually say?” Ron asked, “I mean, I want to make sure I get my fair cut after all the years I had to deal with him.”


“Oh Ronald! Don’t worry, you are getting your fair share, Dumbledore had it planed that way,” Granger said, “I know I am getting all of the books that the Potters own, and I am excited. Did you know there are a few books that are no longer in print or even they might be the last copy.”


“Oh grow up, Hermione! You will have too much time at your job in the ministry to even open a book to read.”


The meeting continued for a long time, talking about the will they made and how everything was going to be split, I was just feeling sick to my stomach. I left as soon as I heard them getting ready to close up the meeting and I ran for the dorm, closing the curtain around my bed. I heard Ron come into my room and I knew, starting that night, that I needed to beat them at their own game. So, I fled to Gringotts as soon as everyone was asleep and demanded to talk to the king. Needless to say, he was unhappy with the demand but granted the meeting anyways, even if it was just to kill me.


But when I told him what had happened with my accounts and the will that was unlawfully made, the goblin that went behind the king and Gringotts’ rules had been beheaded and my accounts fully audited for free. I made a real will that is tied by both my magic and blood and will be activated at my death. Madam Bones, a Prophet writer, and everyone will be invited to the will reading but the truth will come out and everyone in that room will be on their way to Azkaban. If they try to escape, the Goblins will take matters into their own hands. Needless to say, the last of the magic blood will be spilled that day and the war will be ended. I left you something in my will too, you just need to show this to Gringotts to get it they will know it’s from me.


After making the will, I did my inheritance test. I found out the dark secret that my mum was related to the Gaunt family by a squib they threw out of the line. So she was Heiress to the Slytherin line, after Tom that is. She found that out and started to do her research of any books that where left in the vaults she could get into, that is including the dark rituals and other things. I found a few journals both Dad and she left saying Dad knew of the dark magic that was performed but he loved Mum just as much as he did before he knew. Of course, it was a shock to learn your wife was a dark witch, but that changed nothing. There where personal notes left for me to read, it was a hard time that day after everything.


I do thank you for reading my fellow witch or wizard and I hope to meet you soon.


Much love and thanks


Harry Potter


The man sat there in shock. Lily Potter was a long-lost cousin of the Gaunt’s and a Dark Magic user. Potter not being shocked was not a big shock due to the Potters being a dark grey family back in the day. His father did teach the boy right then.


The man turned to the owl, “I need to know where your owner is.” Hedwig hooted, ruffled her feathers and glared at him. It was several seconds but to the man, it felt like hours before the owl’s eyes soften looking sad before transferring the address straight to the man’s mind.


The man let out a sigh and looked at the clock; 4:30. He had 30 minutes to get to the boy and he had a bad feeling. He quickly summoned this cloak before leaving his house with a pop. Appearing in front of 4 Privet Drive, Little Whinging, Surrey, he stormed up the house without a second thought. Yelling followed the man upstairs as the muggles shouted about no freaks allowed, he would take care of them soon enough.


He made it up the stairs and almost cursed the owl for not giving the room the boy was staying in, until he noticed one the doors stood out. All the locks from the outside along with a clap flap. That is where the boy stays, he blew the door off the hinges in time to see the young wizard holding a potion vial filled with what the man thought was poison. Jade green eyes met wine red eyes, the young wizard’s eyes widening in shock before laughing.


“Of course. All the wizards Hedwig could go to, of course she finds you.”


“Be happy she did,” the man said.


“So is your name really Tom? Or is that just another lie?”


“It is Tom Marvolo Riddle, that was no lie, I did go to Hogwarts, and I am a dark wizard.” Tom answered the million questions the youth could possibly have, “And also, the last of your living family even if we are distant cousins. Now if you could, please place the potion down? I can’t have you kill yourself.”


Harry just looked at the potion he was holding, then back to the man. “Why should I? I have nothing else to live for? I mean, everything I thought I was fighting for was just a lie. There is nothing left for me here.”


Tom studied Harry. He was just skin and bones due to the neglect from his muggle guardians and his eyes held no life to them. He seemed to be just a walking Inferius, only he knew the boy had a soul. “Come with me, we will take care of the muggles downstairs first, then we will heal you and then we can take care of the rest of the order. Just let me help you…”


Harry looked at Tom, unsure if he should trust him, but he was just tired… “Do you promise? We will take care of them and you will let me help you?”


“Of course. I promise and I will not go back on the promise.”


Harry nodded, accepting what the man said, putting the poison down.


With that, the man whisked Harry away. Of course, not before torturing the muggles and killing them. That seemed to bring Harry to life a bit, seeing the Muggles begging them for their lives. Only time can help Harry now, but at least he was now in better hands that will help him.