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If I Had You

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"Boss, they're approaching. 3 o'clock." A man clad in black bows to the figure in front of him, telling him the arrival of the Port Mafia's enemy and ally, the Armed Detective Agency.

Turing his head towards the said direction, the Port Mafia's boss- Nakahara Chuuya- took off his hat as a sign of formality towards the ADA's President, Kunikida Doppo.

It has been one year since the death of Detective Agency President Fukuzawa Yukichi and Port Mafia Boss Mori Ougai, which means one year since Kunikida and Chuuya stepped up to take their former boss' places. The two former bosses had died honorably, and the two current bosses- as their late bosses' respective former right hand man- had to upkeep the alliance made between the two organizations.

Even so, the alliance between the deadly duo Double Black and their apprentices stays unchanged.

Alongside Kunikida is Dazai and Atsushi, Chuuya noted. He himself has the Akutagawa Siblings with him, which is more than enough when it comes to the usual bickering between the two organizations. The redhead greeted the newcomers as the blonde returned his gaze. He opens his mouth to speak up when-


He was interuppted by a certain brunette throwing himself onto him.

"Bastard, get off!" He exclaimed in annoyance. Chuuya tries to pry the taller man off of him while Atsushi stands beside Akutagawa, amused expressions on their faces. Kunikida sighs. "Sorry for this idiot's behaviour."

Chuuya chuckles as he punches Dazai away from him. "Yeah, it's okay. I'm already used to it." Dazai stood up from where he laid after getting punched, whining. "Chuuyaa, that's mean."

"The Mafia and the Agency has been going on seperate missions since...uh...erm... the... accidental...kiss, between the two former leaders, so it's..uh.. good to be working together again." Kunikida said, uncomfortably. Don't ask why. "Uh...yeah..ahem- So.. let's get down to business." Chuuya started, as uncomfortable as Kunikida is, but clearly still ignoring the tall brunette whining beside him after getting punched.

"Yes. I've heard that drug smugglers has been lurking around both our territories and are trying to lead us into a trap." Kunikida said. "It's not like we haven't had experience on smugglers, but this seems too... complicated, to be seen as the usual smuggling or terrorist attacks." "The Mafia's intel had been gathering some information, and it seems like this isn't the usual attacks we've endured. We couldn't cross out the possibility of the whole scheme is being carried out by a mastermind that plans to bring Yokohama to its demise."

Gin hands the Agency's director a sealed file- probably the intel Port Mafia has gotten, Kunikida notes. Dazai also stood up from where he was and took a look at the file's contents. Dazai let out a low chuckle as he observes the contents. "I see..."


"I propose we deploy Double Black and its successors to work on this case." Dazai suggests. "It's gonna be quite the dirty work, and Chibi here can finish the organization off in a flash."

This earned an irritated 'HAH?!' from Chuuya himself. "What the hell, are you tryna make me do all the dirty work, mackerel?!" He seethed. "And what's with the nickname?!" Dazai simply laughs cheerfully. "Don't you worry, i can definitely destroy the organization, but i need my sheep dog to help me~"

Chuuya would launch himself at Dazai if it wasn't for Akutagawa holding him back.

"Dazai-san, are you sure?" Atsushi asks the man, a little nervous about the whole ordeal. "Don't worry, Atsushi-kun~" Dazai answers cheerfully again. Kunikida seems to agree with Dazai's suggestion and told him to explain further.

"Okay! So the building that they're gonna use for the next load of smuggled items will have a political ball held at the same time they're using to smuggle the goods. In this intel, it seems that a serial bombing incident have been taking place in the same building they used to get the items, which means there is a high probability that they plant bombs to cover up their tracks." The brunette explained.
Chuuya huffed out a sigh, knowing that whatever the bastard was saying is true. "And so?" He urged the taller to continue his explanation.

"And so, we would need to infiltrate the ball to find their leader, who is definitely attending the ball. Atsushi-kun, Akutagawa-kun, i need you two to be on guard around the building. Find the bomb and disarm it. If you see any suspicious movements, go get em!" Dazai laughs. Kunikida just sighs, and keeps noting down important matters. "Next, Chuuya and i will infiltrate the ball by disguising ourselves as politicians. Chuuya, you know who Shuuji Tsushima and his wife, Ashido Tsushima are, right?"

Chuuya nods. "What do they have to do with this?" He asks.

"Well, it seems like they had left Yokohama for a week, but no one knew about it. So~ we'll be disguising ourselves as them and infiltrate!" Dazai exclaimed, cheering. Chuuya's eye twitches at the thought that 'Dazai would and could never disguise himself as a girl' which leads to the conclusion that HE would have to play the role of Ashido Tsushima. He groaned loudly and slumped onto Akutagawa's shoulder, while the younger one awkwardly patted the executive for comfort. Even Atsushi felt kind of bad and goes to pat Chuuya too.

"Dazai... you're pure evil." Kunikida commented. "Though, that doesn't mean the plan had any flaws." He continued. Chuuya resisted the urge to comically sob into Akutagawa's shoulder.

"No. Nonononono. This negotiation won't work." Chuuya said. "Just....hell no. I mean, wouldn't other politicians know their faces and will find out that we're not them? And what if they find out who we are or that i'm male? What if- what if-" he tries to reason his way out of the mission.

"Tsk tsk. Chuuya.. you do know that Mr.Tsushima has brown hair and his wife has red hair. Besides, the crowd wouldn't even notice! We'll be wearing masks, and the people there? They'll be too caught up in their own little world."

There goes all his reasoning. And probably all his pride as the boss of the Port Mafia after the mission.

The red-head dropped his head and groaned again. "...fine. If it benifits both organizations." Dazai smiled widely and cheered. "Okay, so that's settled! By the way, The Agency and the Black Lizards can also help with Perimeter Guard."

The meeting came to a close, and the two organizations starts their preparation.


"Whoa, you look nice, Dazai-san! ...eventhough we just used your old suit." Atsushi commented as Dazai finishes putting on the suit to infiltrate the ball. "Why thank you, Atsushi-kun~ I haven't finished wearing it though, there are still some parts like the tie." he exclaims in reply. Tanizaki goes into the room holding some stuff.

"Dazai-san, here are the other accessorries." He said as the enters the room. Atsushi smiles at the newcomer, and helped him with accessorries as Tanizaki styled Dazai's hair. The boy pulled out some sort of box from inside the pile and looks inside it. "...Dazai-san, you ARE pure evil." He says while showing the box's contents to Akutagawa, who just entered. The ravenette coughed after seeing what it was.

"Pretty sure Chuuya-san would kill you before you can get your double suicide." Kunikida snorts. "Come on, it's almost time."

Dazai just smirks playfully, took the box from Atsushi's hand, and slid one of the rings inside onto his finger. "It's a disguise, anyway. Every accessorry makes it look real~"


Around the same time, Chuuya is being worked on by the girls.

"Ane-san, do i really have to wear this?" He stares at himself from the mirror, wearing a red dress that goes down to his knees. "It is merely a disguise, lad. You'll have to pull it off." Kouyou smiles, and puts her hands on the male's shoulders. "You'll do great."

"Thank you, Ane-san..." Chuuya says. A few moments later Naomi burst into the room with a bag in her hands. "Chuuya-san, let's style your hair!" She exclaims. Chuuya said nothing, but sat down on a chair so the girl can start with his hair.

She pulls his hair up to be tied with a burgundy-coloured bow Kouyou had brought with her, and ties it at the side of his head. Kouyou helps with the makeup after, and put a small katana ornament on his head after Naomi finished styling.

"Kyaaaa you look sooo pretty!!" Naomi squealed. "No one will notice a thing!" Chuuya thanked the girl and stares at himself in the mirror again. 'It wouldn't hurt to say that i do look nice...right?' The redhead mused.

Kouyou and Naomi seems to have left the room, and a knock sounds.

"Chibi, do you really take this long to admire yoursel-"
Upon entering, Dazai stops in his tracks to look at the ethereal beauty in front of him. Chuuya notices that the gaze Dazai has on him got a little... dirtier, but it was fine. He couldn't attempt to murder the mackerel tonight.

"Knock first, dumbass." Chuuya spat. "Tsk tsk, that's not how a lady talks~" The brunette says, sliding towards Chuuya and taking his hand. "Come on dear, we don't have much time for chit-chat." He says as he slid the other ring onto Chuuya's finger. Realizing what Dazai had slipped onto his finger, he blushes and stares and the silver ring. Dazai takes his hand using his ring-wearing hand, and guides them both out the room.

"I'm not yours, bastard."
"I wish you were."


The building's entrance is crowded with reporters and photographers, wanting to take information about the ball. Upon arriving, Dazai- or Shuuji- goes out the car and opens the door for Chuuya- or Ashido- and linked his arm with Chuuya's as they walk inside the building.

"Did you have to pull this move?" Chuuya asks, pink tinting his cheek. "Hmhm~ it's so the people know about our eternal love~" Dazai answers cheerfully, kissing Chuuya's temple. Chuuya would really have to wait until the mission is finished before he can kill him for the public humiliation, knowing that the perimeter guards can see them.

(Believe me, Gin is squealing internally, Tachihara is jealous, Kunikida sighs, both Tanizakis jawdrops.)

"O-oi!" Chuuya whisper-shouts and nudges Dazai to the side a little, face getting redder and redder. Dazai simply smirks and enters the building, keeping his professional look(?) as he sneakily slid an arm around Chuuya's waist. Reporters and photographers all hurriedly push each other away just to take a picture of the couple.

Inside, is definitely filled with big shots. The two can recognize a few familiar faces of politicians, and high officers of the government. "Wow, this place is damn packed." Chuuya whispers. "It is isn't it. We'll blend in for now and move when Atsushi-kun amd Akutagawa-kun tells us that they found the bomb." Dazai smiles, and the two continue whispering to each other so others will think that they're having a chat between lovers.


An officer of the Special Abilities Division knows about the absence of the REAL Tsushimas, and is surprised to see the couple standing there whispering to each other. Sakaguchi Ango is his name. He knew the Tsushimas, so he walks towards them and greets them, eyeing them suspiciously.

"Ahem- Mr and Mrs Tsushima- wait Dazai-?!" Dazai turns around quickly and covered Ango's mouth. "Shhhhhhhhhh! You're going to blow our cover!" The brunette whisper-shouted. Ango immediately realized that it was Dazai and Chuuya who are wearing disguises, so he stopped himself from saying anything that will blow their cover. Chuuya simply clicked his tongue realizing that it was just Ango.

"Mr and Mrs Tsushima... i suppose you're here because of the smuggling and bombing incidents?" Ango questioned. "Why, how smart of you, Ango~" Dazai says in a sing-song tone. "I believe you know how the preperator looks like, hm?" His tone went darker. Ango sighs. "Well, you got me. The government plans to contact you regarding the incidents tomorrow, but i see you're one step ahead of us." He pulled out a picture. "This is the man. Ash blonde hair and white suit." Chuuya hums and scans the area as soon as he remembers how the guy looks like.

"I'll leave it to you." Ango says as he walks away towards who knows where. Soft music starts playing in the background and people are entering the dance floor, so it must be time for the dance. From the crowd, Dazai heard a 'Tsushima-san, go and kill the dance floor with your moves!' and chuckled. The guy seriously knew about the Tsushima's excellent dancing and Dazai immediately pulls Chuuya along with him to the dance floor.

"May i have this dance, mon petit mafia?"
Chuuya looks away for a second before placing his hand on top of Dazai's and they start dancing along to the soft waltz music. They dance around while observing their surroundings, spinning gracefully along the dance floor. It took a little getting used to since Chuuya is wearing high heels, but eventually they were able to dance as gracefully as the real Tsushimas.

A beep sounds in the two infiltrators' ear. "Dazai-san, Chuuya-san." Atsushi spoke through the intercom. "We found the bomb. Akutagawa is disarming it right now." He says, followed by loud clanging of metal dropping to the ground. Knowing the bomb was disarmed, Chuuya whispers. "Good job, you two."

Just as they spun around, both of them saw a glimpse of the preperator. "Oi. Dazai."
"Yeah, that's him alright."

The dance changed from waltz into tango, so the two dances along while moving towards the enemy little by little, steps in sync with the music and each other. A loud boom suddenly resonated from the upper floors of the building, shaking the whole place. Dazai and Chuuya gasps at the reality that they had planted two bombs, and immediately took charge of the panic.

With Chuuya clinging on his side, Dazai shouted. "Everyone calm down! The building has been attacked by a terrorist so i advice all of you to evacuate calmly!" The panicked people heard this, and they walk out the door calmly to evade more trouble. In the midst of it, Chuuya floated over to their target and held him in place.

As soon as the crowd cleared, Dazai walks over towards Chuuya who held the enemy in place. He took out the bomb's remote from the guy's pocket, and smirked. "So, you're the one who's been causing this much trouble for the ADA and Port Mafia? I can't believe such a small fry did this." The man opens his mouth to speak but was shut up by Chuuya's fist flying into his face. "How unsightly." The authorities enters the scene and the two let the government apprehend the preperator.

Dazai- along with Ango who called for backup- spoke with the officers regarding the smuggling while Chuuya met up with the rest of the agency and mafia. "Good work, all of you." He says, patting Tachihara's head while saying so. Tachihara's face is now tinted with red, and seeing this, Dazai excused himself and approaches them.
He swoops in and secures his arm around Chuuya's waist, the other hand holding Chuuya's. "That was a successful mission, wasn't it~?" Chuuya grumbled a 'get the fuck away from me bastard' while the others watches in amusement.



They arrive back at the Port Mafia's headquarters and changed back to their original clothes there. Kunikida bid Chuuya and the mafias a goodbye and walks back towards the agency with the other detectives- all except Dazai. The rest of the mafias seems to have retreated to their offices before going home, leaving Chuuya and Dazai outside.

"Aw, Chuuya looked too beautiful in that dress. Did you have to change back to your bad fashion sense and tacky hat?" Dazai whined. "Hey, it's MY fashion sense, not yours, bandaged bastard." Chuuya spat before turning back to head into his office. Dazai walks beside him and slides his arm around the mafioso again. "Well, Chuuya will wear it again for me right?"

This time, Chuuya didn't pull away. "Mackerel... no way. I'm not yours. You left the mafia and me, so i'm not yours anymore."

Dazai slightly pouts. "Aw. If i had you then Chuuya would definitely be nicer to me." He says as he pulls out a rose out of nowhere and gave it to Chuuya. "Are you sure you don't want to be mine again?"

Chuuya smiles softly and takes the rose from Dazai's hands. "I guess.. a second chance wouldn't be bad."

The brunette smiles and kisses the redhead passionately, the other kissing back. They intertwined their hands with the rose in one of them, and Dazai pulls Chuuya in an embrace.

"So now, will Chuuya wear the dress for me?"

The redhead kicks Dazai and walks away, leaving a huge dent on the wall from Dazai's impact. "Bastard. Try harder." He mutters as he enters his office, the soft smile still evident on his face.