‘’Bianchi?’’ Tsuna asked her one evening, hands in his hair, hiding in a bathroom stall as his bodyguard leaned against the door, ‘’What the hell do I have to do to get rid of all the gold-diggers?!’’
Bianchi told him, deadly serious as she stared up at the ceiling: ‘’Out seduce them.’’
Tsuna shook his head, said: ‘’No way I’m going to do that,’’ opened the bathroom door, washed his hands and went back into the fray- erm, party.
Half an hour later, they made a hasty getaway towards the limousine, Bianchi shielding Tsuna from further assault as he got away with exactly two pieces of underwear of unknown origin on his person, three numbers written on various places on his face and five lipstick stains on his trousers. To his utter horror, he also noticed a stain of what looked suspiciously like drool on his jacket.
Throwing himself into the car, he nearly sobbed with relief as he heard her pull the door closed with a decided thud, the driver immediately speeding them away, engines hot.
‘’Teach me, please.’’
165 cm of deadliness personified, wrapped in a cocktail dress, pink hair swept up, smiled, sending shivers up his back. ‘’Of course, Decimo.’’
The sands had shifted, the scorpion had risen, its poison at the tip of its tail. This was how Sawada Tsunayoshi, twenty-one years old, sold his soul to Bianchi di Falco.
The first target was easy. Naito Longchamp, while not into pretty girls, was very much into pretty boys. All Tsuna had to do was parade around and Naito had been charmed all the way to Sunday.
Honestly, the only hard part about the whole charade was Tsuna’s own uneasiness with the act, and Bianchi’s… Loud protest at Naito’s self-proclaimed love for ‘’Ugly girls’’. If Tsuna had to hear one more speech about how each and every girl Naito had ever liked would have been considered a beauty in at least five different time periods in this or that culture, he would throw himself off the bridge, he swore. Her powerpoint on the subject had been incredibly well made and thought out, the resemblance between Bianchi and Hayato never clearer. Where she got the pictures of all Naito’s exes from Tsuna had no idea, and he was to be quite frank, too afraid to ask.
The second target was Skull, and there could be nothing said about that attempt except that there was quite some stumbling around that was not Tsuna’s fault, damn it, and that tongue piercings were really, really hot. Also, he was pretty sure he had a motorcycle kink now.
The third target was Viper, and after them, Tsuna could take on anything, because nothing was going to be more embarrassing than that situation (for god’s sake, the tentacles involved hadn’t even been sexual!).
Bianchi had a good laugh about that one, and Tsuna wanted nothing more than throttle her, because why, in the name of the heavens above, did she think that the Arcobaleno were good practice targets?! The levels of mortifying went through the roof.
The fourth was Bermuda. Bianchi dragged him kicking and screaming to the entrance of the Vendicare, and then told him to woman the fuck up, or she’d tell Hayato all about the seduction training and what exactly he’d done for it already. That had shut him up quickly because the embarrassment of jauntily walking into Vendicare to slap Bermuda on the ass was definitely less bad than having to explain to his other guardians just what had caused Hayato’s latest heart attack.
‘’I did it,’’ he said, dead inside after the deed was done, ‘’I slapped him on the ass and made him like it. What’s next? Lal Mirch? At least she’ll murder me and I will know the sweet release of death.’’
Bianchi snorted, inspecting her nails. ‘’Mirch is in a relationship with Colonello. I’m training you to seduce, Sawada; This isn’t homewrecker 101.’’
Tsuna whined. ‘’Please just tell me you’re not making me seduce Yuni!’’
‘’Of course not, she’d see through you in two seconds flat. Clairvoyance, and all. Your next target is Fon.’’
‘’Hibari’s uncle? How can I ever face Kyoya again?!’’
Bianchi smirked, ‘’Bagging his uncle will probably only gain Hibari’s respect, seeing his life view. Conquest works on several levels.’’
‘’I don’t want to think of people as conquests!’’
‘’Think of poor Hayato’s heart~~!’’
He bagged Fon.
Verde was easy pickings at that point. So much, even, that Bianchi declared him ready for graduation. ‘’Your last target will be the hardest of all. His name is Renato Sinclair, and he is the man who taught me all I know of the art of seduction.’’
Tsuna frowned as he lifted his head from his desk, attempting to peer over the piles of paperwork. ‘’Sinclair? I’ve heard the name, but I thought he was an upcoming assassin.’’
Bianchi, lounging on the chaise longue, popped a grape into her mouth. ‘’Oh, he’s far older than the recent rumours make him seem. He’s been in the field for quite some time. Let’s just say he just got back from a… sabbatical.’’
That sounded highly suspicious, but Bianchi rarely said a thing that Tsuna trusted, so he had to make do. He did his research on Sinclair, but very little turned up. What he did find was the usual place Sinclair met his clients, a bar in the heart of Sicily.
The thing was, Tsuna felt wildly underprepared for this task. This was the man who had taught Bianchi to seduce, he was totally justified in feeling nervous. And as he always did when he felt nervous about whatever reason he could under no circumstance talk to his guardians about, he crashed on Yuni’s couch for advice and cuddles.
The first thing out of his mouth was: ‘’Yuni, I’m going to seduce this particular person. Rate me.’’ He stuck his bottom lip out.
Yuni, used to his bullshit, squinted at him. ‘’Is that supposed to work?’’
Tsuna pawed at her shoulder, making his eyes as big and beguiling as possible as he stuck his ass (his best ass-et) out and crawled towards her, ‘’Am I not dazzl-‘’
The door burst open and Reborn walked through. Tsuna froze, ass still in the air, and then deflated the minute he saw who it was. ‘’Oh. You. Still on the whole illusions to make you look like a baby so you can have a big dramatic reveal of your adultsona one of these days?’’
Reborn’s eyes narrowed. ‘’I’d ask what was going on here, Dame-Tsuna, but it appears disciplining you is necessary.’’
Tsuna scrambled off the couch, ‘’You can’t! You’re an adult now, even if you refuse to show us. Spanking me would have implications!’’ And with that shout, he was out of the window.
Yuni delayed Reborn’s pursuit with tea because she was a good friend, and laughed for days because she was also mean.
The bar Sinclair frequented was called the Four Horsemen, and if that wasn’t foreboding, Tsuna didn’t know what was.
His first thought on Sinclair himself was ‘’Is he a Reborn copycat, or just a fan?’’ before realizing that Reborn had not invented the fedora, nor claimed copyright. Sinclair could wear a fedora all he wanted.
His second thought was that his ass looked great in that suit. The third was regret that he would have to stain it for the meet-cute.
Oh well, there he went.
‘’I am SO sorry!’’ Meeting dark eyes, he grabbed napkins from the nearest table and began to dab Sinclair’s front. ‘’I’m Sawada Tsunayoshi. I can’t apologize enough- I’ll pay for the dry cleaning!’’
Sinclair, peering down at him, seemed stunned for a second or five. Good- Tsuna hadn’t worn this get up for nothing! Then, finally, he started moving again. ‘’Well, if you insist.’’
‘’Of course, I insist!’’ Tsuna said, before staring sadly at his now empty glass.
Sinclair took the hint. ‘’Let me pay for another. What would you like to have?’’
‘’Sex on the beach. Preferably with you.’’
Sinclair choked. Tsuna smiled with the innocence of an angel, tucking his hair behind his ear. ‘’At least, if you’re not opposed to getting a drink with me? You look like you could use one.’’
Sinclair cleared his throat, sliding into his seat at the bar. ‘’Just a coffee, please. Black.’’
Tsuna laughed, ‘’That’s just like you! No alcohol needed, just getting drunk on me…’’
A flush steadily crept up Sinclair’s neck, and Tsuna took great pleasure in watching it.
Coffee reminded him of Reborn, and his world-famous (or well, underworld famous) love for the beverage. ‘’So, a suit man, loves coffee, you wouldn’t happen to have a chameleon, would you?’’ Tsuna reached for his cocktail and swirled it around, laughing at his own joke. Confidence is key.
Sinclair, however, pouted. His grumpiness was unreasonably adorable, so much even that Tsuna nearly missed what he said. ‘’You just had to take my dramatic reveal away from me, didn’t you Dame-Tsuna?’’
Abruptly, Tsuna stopped laughing. ‘’What?’’ Nervous laughter, ‘’You’re so funny. Who told you about that nickname?’’
Did Bianchi set him up? Did she play him for laughs by informing Sinclair beforehand?!
Sinclair put his coffee down, a disbelieving look on his face. ‘’I gave you that nickname.’’
‘’No way. She wouldn’t have- Oh my god, Bianchi so would send me to seduce you while not knowing it was you in your goddamn adultsona.’’ Tsuna had a meltdown in the middle of the bar. ‘’She sent me to seduce all the other Arcobaleno, I should have known!’’
Oh god, as if this couldn’t get any more mortifying!
Sinclair- no, Reborn, - zeroed in on only one part of his tirade. ‘’Seduce all the Arcobaleno? You?’’ There was laughter in his voice, and Tsuna stopped dead.
No. He shook his ass, slapped the bums of others, flirted, charmed and got himself laid just fine, thank you very much. He might not have started out very proficient, and yes, that incident with Mammon was rather unfortunate, but he was proud of his accomplishments, damn it. There was a time in his life where Reborn could laugh at his achievements and know what he was talking about, but that time was over.
Tsuna looked up, mind set and snatched Reborn’s tie, dragged him closer. ‘’Yes. I. Did.’’ He purred, leaning in, ‘’And I’ll show you how I did it, step by step until you’re putty in my hands.’’
Let’s just say that Sawada Tsunayoshi, Vongola Decimo, left Seduction 101 with an A as final grade.