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Made for You

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Flashback

"I'm impressed Jacob, really." The beautiful brunette took a little sip of her champagne, enjoying her first free night in a while. "You did everything right, we stopped them. And now we finally have time to take some deserved break." She crossed her legs and looked around in the soldier's room. "And welcome to Cerberus. You'll be a great asset to humanity."

Jacob smiled at her. "Thank you, Miranda." He looked at the floor, then he turned his head, looking at the Cerberus Officer's thigh, where she rested her hand peacefully. "I've been thinking about a few things since we first met." His own hands slowly travelled closer and closer to hers.

"Me too. I mean...Maybe I should bring you with myself on my next operation. I'm sure the Illusive Man will keep us busy." She didn't notice his actions at first until he touched her leather clothed thigh. "Jacob, what are you doing?" Jacob grabbed her hand and moved closer to her body.

"You're beautiful." He united their lips in a soft kiss. Miranda closed her eyes for a moment, enjoying the gentle, but passionate sensation. She soon realized what Jacob wants from her and broke the kiss.

"I better go." She stood up and quickly headed to the door. 

"Miranda, wait!" He shouted after her, trying to stop the attractive woman.

"I'm so sorry, Jacob." She pushed the red button and it turned green. The door opened and a strange person stopped her from exiting.

"Miss.Lawson." The stranger named her.

"Who are you? What's your rank?"

"It doesn't matter. The Illusive Man wishes to speak with you. Commander Shepard is dead." And her heart broke again.

Flashback end

Miranda just stood here, watching the commander's lifeless body. It wasn't a body anymore, just a few broken bones, a helmet and scratch. She needed to hold back her feelings and tears. So many years passed and the sight of him makes her sad, even worse he's dead now. He was the love of her life and he just...left her! He didn't even search for her when she disappeared. She thought he loved her, but he didn't. She caught him cheating on her when she had her first shore leave at the Citadel after she joined Cerberus. He just broke her heart again and again, but she loved him in the deepest corner of her heart. She felt so stupid for being like this. Everybody thinks she's the Ice Queen, a bitch, the Illusive Man's personal slut. But she's just human.

"Dismissed." Miranda said in a cold voice. The Lazarus Project's crew left the room leaving her alone with Shepard's body and Karin Chakwas. She needed to put herself together for everyone's safety.

"Miss.Lawson..." Dr.Chakwas spoke to her in a low, shy voice. She was afraid of her and the whole Cerberus thing as an Alliance medical officer.

"I said dismissed. We'll talk about his medical records later, doctor."

"But...alright. Goodnight, Miss.Lawson."

"Goodnight, Dr.Chakwas." She waited for the older woman to leave the room. When she felt, Miranda collapsed on the floor, resting her head and arms on the dead Spectre's bed, crying out ten years of pain. "Why, John? Why?" Tears ran down her cheeks and the sounds of sobbing filled the place. 

One month later

"The crew still believes this is impossible, sir. But I do not agree with them. We have the right resources and the best men we could get. The crew is full and ready, the Lazarus Project finally begins today and we will succeed at any cost. " She reported to the Illusive Man.

"Good to hear." He breathed the smoke out of his lungs. "We still have time, but you better hurry, Miranda. Another colony disappeared, a small one. If we can't stop this threat, it will destroy humanity or the whole galaxy. What's your plan?"

"I'm still not sure, sir, but our plans are very promising. Wilson said we can use implants after the body if half recovered. I suggest using platina to replace his bones, because it's not heavy, but also very strong. But first, we need to remove the dead flesh and use what's left."

"Do it. Dismissed."

"Yes, sir." And he disconnected.

One and a half year later

"He still looks like shit." Wilson said with a disgusted face.

"He's dead, Wilson. At least we could recover most of his body. His brain and heart functions perfectly, I call it a victory." Miranda admired her work proudly.

Wilson looked at her and said. "Yes, but his pulse is low, I'm thinking about some adrenaline." 

Miranda was shocked at his words, she just didn't know what to do to stop him. She grabbed his wrist roughly. "Don't dare you to use adrenalin! You are going to kill him!"

He pushed her away. "Trust me, Miranda! It's gonna work, his heart is barely beating!"

"But it's perfectly enough to keep him alive while he's in coma!" Miranda started yelling at him. Miranda's the boss here, but he doesn't care about it.

"It's too late to stop me now!" He was right, it's too late. He already gave Shepard the adrenaline.

"Wilson, no!" He was faster with his work then she would ever think and much more clever than he looks like. 

"Just wait, Miranda! It'll speed up the whole project! He'll be up in a few weeks!" Miranda couldn't do anything, she just stood there, waiting for the results. 

"He wasn't ready, Wilson! You're killing him! We worked non-stop for almost two years and you're just..." Miranda turned her head and opened her mouth in shock. "There. On the monitor! Wilson, something's wrong!"

"He's just reacting to the outside stimuli, to the adrenaline. Showing an awareness of his surroundings." She heard the commander's breathing in and out loudly and when she looked at him he started opening his eyes and rolling his head. Wilson paused for a moment. "My god, Miranda. I think he's waking up!"

They both quickly walked next to Shepard's bed. "Damn it, Wilson! He's not ready yet! Give him the sedative!" She swallowed painfully and Wilson walked off. All the engines started beeping uncontrollably. "Shepard-don't try to move!"

"M-Miri..." He raised his arm, trying to reach out for her. He was able to recognize her and...it hurts her, more than she thought. His face seemed painful and happy at the same time when he first saw her after all those years. He didn't know where he is, what's happening and...is it really her? It's been so long... The years of pain ached in his body, almost killing him.

"Just lie still John, try to stay calm." She tried to hold back her tears when she pushed his arm down.

"Heart rate is climbing, brain activity is off the charts." Miranda walked to one of the consoles and started searching with her eyes in fear. "Starts pushing into the red zone! It's not working!"

She turned around, yelling. "Another dose! Now!" Her hands were shaking, but she needed to calm down.

A few moments later the life left Shepard's body. He was lying there, almost lifeless while his eyes still stayed open. "Heart rate dropping, stats falling back into normal rate. That was too close, we almost lost him."

Miranda walked next to him again, looking deep into his eyes before he closed them and fell into coma again. "I told you. Your estimates were off, run the numbers again. I'll talk with the Illusive Man about your behaviour, we can't bring him back if you're not obeying me." She rushed out of the room, straight to her cabin. She kept telling herself that he would never feel the same for her and she would never feel the same for him, but the fear of losing him again was like a knot in her stomach, aching all the time when she saw him or just thought about him. "Damn you, Miranda! You're not a little girl anymore! Be an adult and face your fears!" She tried being the Ice Queen, but her heart never obeyed. She wanted to be so much more. To be normal, to be loved. By him.