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Farmer Shepard

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Sometimes when you're in the heat of things, life gets immensely exciting, especially when the stake of the entire galaxy is at hand. But when that excitement and adrenaline suddenly stops, you realize just how extremely dull your life can be.

This is especially the case of commander Shepard, who has been retired for several months following the execution of the Reapers in a war that feels as if it lasted a lifetime. For the last six or so years, her life mission had been about nothing else but to ensure the safety and peace of the galaxy, having gone from fighting living spaceships to harbingers and collectors to killing off a species of space squids that kill off species every hundred thousand years or so.

And when she thinks about it, everything about her life since that time has cooled down feels absolutely vanilla in comparison.

She had caught up on all her favorite holovision shows. She played all the games she needed before realizing how excruciatingly outdated and buggy they all are. She had seen her fellow teammates from those missions every now and then, but even most of them agree that life is just too relaxing for their liking. Shepard especially felt as though she got the brunt of everything, as she had been brought back to life by Cerberus after crashing down on an uninhabited planet, basically a second chance at life. And while she's proud of all she's accomplished since the beginning of her days as a SEED agent, she doesn't have much else worth living for.

Looking over at the cabinet full of her old naval gear and equipment, Shepard sighs. How far removed from society is she that she can't savor everything now? What is there to do in comparison to the adrenaline rush that was blowing up the Reapers, destroying them all with use of the Citadel, and somehow surviving her second crash down onto the planet?

Again she looks back at the cabinet, seeing her pistol as it rests in its harness on the side of her N7 suit. With a sigh, Shepard sits up from her seat, thinking to herself, “Guess I'll just die again.”

Before she can reach for the pistol, the commander pauses as she hears the sound of knocking on her apartment door. With an eyebrow raised, she asks herself who that could possibly be. She never gave the address out to anyone, not even her teammates. She preferred to meet them in public at the bars while remaining secluded at home, not really wanting any guests. Reaching for her pistol, the commander grabs hold of it, sneaking over to the front door with caution. With the pistol at the ready, Shepard shouts, “Who is it?!”

“Shepard? It's me! Tali!”

“Guess nobody dies today.” Shepard says with a sigh, placing the pistol on the side table. As she opens the door, the commander does her best to feign excitement at her unexpected guest. “Tali, good to see you!” Shepard says, going in for a hug with the quarian engineer.

“Good to see you as well, Shepard.” Tali replies, returning the hug. “Trying to get a hold of you was quite a pain in the neck, however.”

“Yeah, about that…” Shepard says, leaning against the door frame, “How did you find out where I live now?”

“Liara.” admits the quarian.

“Of course…” Shepard says with a sigh, planting her palm over her face. “Why did I think I could try and hide some kind of secret information like that from the damn Shadow Broker?”

“You got me.” Tali says with a shrug. “I mean, she tells me a lot about her job. I kind of wish I was a fly on the wall when she and Miranda were having that cyber war over Lawson trying to hide the wedding date and location from her.”
As Tali laughs, Shepard grows more confused yet interested. “Miranda got married? Huh, interesting. Who's the lucky groom that she'll be pegging?”

“Liara wouldn't say.” admits the quarian engineer. “Apparently when she found out, it was...too much for her to handle.”


“That's what I said.” Tali replies. “But, anyway, I wanted to see very quickly if you have anything interesting going on with your life.”

Shaking her head, Shepard responds, “Not since the Reaper invasion. Everything just feels blah all of a sudden.”

“I know the feeling.” Tali says with a nod. “Things have been okay for the most part back on Rannoch. It's nice that we can finally breath on our home planet again, having reclaimed our turf from the geth, that whole ordeal finally over after thousands of years...But...then you stop and smell the space roses and realize that...we kind of suck as a society.”

“Wait, what?” asks Shepard, not having anticipated such a response from the quarian.

“Shepard, I've found out something a little depressing. You remember that film Fleet and Flotilla?”

“How could I forget? It's like the only thing you and Garrus had to talk about that didn't involve shooting space baddies.”

“Right, but see, I found out it is LITERALLY the only good thing the quarians have done! Every other attempt to create media SUCKS! And it's like, what am I going to do? I can't just fiddle to THIS the rest of my life! It has quality, sure, but eventually I'm gonna sour on it and stop watching and-”

“OKAY, Tali, I get the hint!” Shepard interrupts, sighing to herself as she rubs her temple. “What does this have to do with your trip to my apartment, anyway?”

“Hmm? Oh, right, that.” Tali responds, a nervous laugh escaping her lips. “Well, in my boredom I thought I'd try looking for a new job. And I found out my old admiral is starting up a farm!”

“Admiral Xen?”

“That's the one!”

“A quarian with a farm? What the heck kind of livestock can you use for a farm on Rannoch? It doesn't seem like there's much other life on that planet. Sure, it's green as hell, beautiful, but I didn't see any horses or cows or pigs anywhere on that planet when we went to liberate it from the geth and Reapers.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it, Shepard.” Tali replies, waving the question off. “The admiral is quite capable of adapting and an excellent talker. Her livestock come from all across the galaxy. I heard she tried this Finford guy, but his prices were just too far out there for her liking.”

“For a former admiral? I find that a bit hard to believe.” Stepping back from the door frame, Shepard says to her quarian friend, “Come on in. I could get you something to drink.”

“Oh, no thanks.” Tali says politely. “I kind of want to get back to Rannoch as soon as possible. You know, being able to breathe and not be forced into this enviro-suit still.”

“I guess when you taste freedom you’d want more of it.” Shepard laughs. “You know what, I guess it couldn’t hurt to help out in some fashion. Things have been slow as fuck since the end of the Reaper war.”

“That’s what I was hoping to hear.” Tali responds. “I’ll let the admiral know you’re interested in joining her, and see when she can start using you for your services.”

“Wait, say that again?”

As if having ignored the question, Tali turns around and waves to Shepard, leaving the apartment. “Later, commander. We’ll see you soon!”

After Tali leaves, Shepard closes the door behind her, rubbing the back of her head. “Did I agree to do the right thing here?” she asks herself. “Or is there something a bit more going on I should know about…”


A few weeks later, after having packed up her belongings, the commander had arrived on Rannoch, a suitcase in tow as she leaves her transport ship. Looking around at the morning blue sky, Shepard can see for miles on this ranch, seeing so much in the way of greener pastures, something she hasn’t experienced on Earth in a while. Not that she doesn’t want to, as they created eco-friendly environments to keep the planet from going extinct, but because she’s become so accustomed to the larger city lives. Either way, these days on the farm were going to be interesting, so she thinks to herself. She imagines just as she’s getting used to the way things go on the farm, it will be that much harder to get back to life at her apartment. Still, she may as well enjoy this while she can…

After leaving the ship, Shepard watches as a purple skinned figure, wearing a latex suit that seems to have deep blue overalls embedded into their design, rush up to her, an excited smile on her lips. “Commander!” says the figure gleefully. “I’m so glad you could help myself and the admiral.”

“Tali, you’re looking spiffy.” says the commander, studying her quarian friend. Seeing Tali in anything but her enviro-suit is still new to Shepard, having been so used to her in nothing else but that. “ latex really the thing you need to wear on a farm?”

“It’s one of the admirals rules for working here,” Tali explains, “she requires everyone to wear these suits, as she feels it will block out the rays of sunlight and covers up your body from the possibility of getting sunburn.”

“Seems a bit much to me.” Shepard replies.

“Oh come on, commander!” Tali says with a laugh, holding out a change of clothes for Shepard. “Go ahead and try it on. I promise you’ll enjoy it.”

With a sigh, the commander accepts the change in clothes from the former quarian engineer, saying to her, “All right, fine, thanks. I’m gonna go get on the ship and change into this stuff.”

“W-Wait!” Tali shouts, halting the commander in her place. “Why not change out here in the open? It’s not like there’s anyone else here for miles, right? Just you, me, admiral Xen, her animals...nothing inconspicuous! Just three ladies that can share the ranch and build it into a better living space!”

Looking around, Shepard asks, “You sure there aren’t going to be trespassers or anything else?”

“Shepard, you see that mountain off in the distance?” Tali asks, pointing until she sees the commander nod. “That’s how much land Xen has bought. And it goes ALL the way around in a circle! Trust me, commander, you’re in good hands with my admiral.”

“Okay, fine. If you wanted to see me naked so badly, you could’ve just asked.” mumbles Shepard, stripping out of her street clothes right in front of the quarian engineer. With Tali’s face no longer covered by a mask, Shepard can see her facial features, as well as the changing expressions, as she stands bare naked before the quarian, unfolding the latex uniform before her. Slowly Shepard slips into the shiny outfit, putting her legs in first, then sliding it up her torso before placing her arms in the sleeves. Once she has the outfit on, the commander studies herself, a bit curious as she feels somehow...curvier. “Huh, interesting. Do I look any different to you, Tali?”

“No, of course not, Shepard.” Tali replies, trying to hide her reaction as she sees how well fitting the latex overall outfit is on her former commander.

“Weird. I feel like my boobs got bigger…”

“Oh! We can’t forget this!” Tali exclaims, holding out a farming hat that has a cow pattern on it. “Xen wants you to wear this as well. It’s for, you know, further protection. From the sun.”

“Hm. Well, Xen’s at least trying to be helpful, I’ll give her that.” Shepard says with a shrug, taking the hat and placing it on her head. She does admit, she can feel the difference now that the sun isn’t shining down on her, as her head feels protected from any further sunlight. “It does feel a little weird, but I'm not sure why…”

Before Tali can say anything, the quarian looks behind her as she hears the clipping of hooves off in the distance. “Oh, look, here comes the admiral now.” As the clopping grows louder, Shepard swears that the noise doesn't sound normal for a horse. There's a hollowness to the noise that she can't describe, but it certainly doesn't seem normal for a horse’s hooves. Once she sees Zen coming closer, she swears that the horse...isn't a horse.

Rather, it’s a familiar figure, one that Shepard would never think to help out in this kind of work. The odd, half-shaved haircut is easy to identify, as her more distinguishable tattoos are covered up in a black latex. Jack, also known as Subject Zero, clops along the way in horse shoes, that is to say shoes that are literally shaped to resemble that of a horse’s hooves. She imagines that her feet can’t feel all that great, being cramped up in such a manner while being forced to stand in such a manner. Her hands seem to have been given a similar treatment, with gloves that force her hands to resemble hooves as well. Her mouth is covered up with a long bar, which she seems to bite down on with no complaints, while also attaching to a harness that is held onto by the quarian admiral. Speaking of Xen, she sits on the biotic’s back, which has a saddle placed on it while it locks around Jack’s waist, though the former Subject Zero somehow seems all right with this scenario. She doesn’t appear to be worn down from carrying another being in such a way, nor does it seem that her back is going to give at any second. Also, most obvious to her, a gigantic horse dildo is strapped around her crotch, the giant silicone tool bouncing with every clop that the biotic makes until she comes to a stop just before Shepard, allowing Xen to step off her.

“Ah, hello, Shepard.” Xen says. “I’m so happy to see that you’ve arrived. Your help will be most welcome to Tali and myself.”

“Uh, thanks I guess, just...can I ask what’s going on with Jack over there?” asks the commander, pointing to her former ally. “She’s dressed like a horse, and she’s being obedient. It’s weird.”

Looking back at the horsified Jack, Xen turns back to Shepard and replies, “Jack? You mean Biotic Beauty? I can’t say I’ve ever heard of this Jack.”

“Me neither, admiral.” Tali says with a shrug. “Commander, are you sure you’re seeing okay?”

“What? But Jack’s right...there…” As Shepard’s words trail off, she sees that there is no Jack, no latex covered biotic dressed like a horse. Just...a horse. A black horse with an odd hair design in their mane, that she could argue resembles Jack’s. But no, it’s a horse. “Okay...that’s weird.” Grabbing her head, the commander continues, “Maybe it’s just an effect from the ride here. Or this latex suit being so warm…” she grunts, tugging at her new work uniform as it sticks uncomfortably to her skin.

“You’ll get used to it.” Xen says with a giggle, slapping the black horse’s backside. As she continues to stare at the horse, the commander can’t help but notice the giant schlong that grows underneath it. “But Beauty here is my girl, she’s perfect for using the plow to straighten out lines for our planned crops. And she takes her payments in sugar cubes.”

“Uh, Xen? I think your girl is a ...guy?” Shepard speaks up, a bit of discomfort in her tone as she points awkwardly at the mammoth member the horse is sporting.

Looking underneath her horse, Xen simply laughs at the commander. “Oh, Shepard, don’t be silly! Of course it’s a girl. You can see her pussy back here.” The commander follows behind Xen, who shows off the horse’s backside, prompting Xen to rub her fingers just against the folds of the horse’s snatch. “Mmm, she may need some play time, of course.”

“...Of course.” Shepard replies, slowly accepting the reality that’s in place before her.

Moving to the front of the horse, Xen removes the bar that Beauty has between her teeth, reaching into a pouch that holds a sugar cube. Placing the cube on her tongue, the admiral sticks it out for the horse, whose tongue pokes out of its mouth to not only take the sweet treat, but make out with the quarian admiral as well. Xen hums deeply as she holds onto the horse’s head, caressing it greatly as she attempts to hold a passionate kiss with the beast, much to Shepard’s surprise. “Uh, Tali, why is…?”

“What? Wouldn’t you want to make out with a horse as beautiful as that?” asks Tali, a sternness in her voice. “It’s Xen’s ranch, after all. Her rules, with nobody else on Rannoch to tell her otherwise.”

“I’re not entirely wrong…” Shepard says, rubbing the back of her head. As Shepard finds herself distracted by the audacity happening before her, Tali smirks, knowing full well what’s going on. The hat that the commander wears contains a chip that, when worn, augments the wearer’s perception of the world to Xen’s liking. Though the admiral has clearly corrupted the former Subject Zero already, to Shepard she will look like an ordinary farm animal, even if she doesn’t quite like the idea of treating her as such. Though Tali disagrees with the admiral in this regard, the help as she presents itself is still appreciated. Though in the case of Jack there was quite a lot of work to be done in order to even get her in this state of mind.

“Mmm, that’s my girl.” Xen says, finally pulling away from the horse’s loving tongue. “We’re going to have to get you acquainted with Shepard now, Beauty. She’ll be using you to plow the fields out so we can start working on some crops.”

“What, me? But I’ve never rode a horse before.” Shepard says to the admiral.

“You wouldn't have to ride it personally.” Tali says with a giggle. “You'd be managing the plow while it's tied to her back, that's all.”

“I see...” Shepard slowly approaches the horse, thinking that she's about to pet the mane when the quarians know in reality she's merely touching the head of Jack. The biotic doesn't seem to take too kindly to Shepard's touch, nor recognize her in any fashion, causing her to almost bite at the commander. Thankfully for Shepard, she pulls her hand back at the last second, surprised at the way the horse, as she sees her, react in such a way.

“Whoa there, Beauty!” Xen shouts, trying to calm her horse down. “Let's try to be a bit more polite with out guests!”

“Hm...admiral, I get the feeling that Beauty isn't ready to take too kindly to Shepard, at least not just yet.” Tali speaks up. “Maybe she's not ready to work the fields just yet. Perhaps we should give her a much more simple task to perform, like milking Mira-I mean Betsy. Yes. Betsy.” The quarian engineer's eyes shift about, hoping that her former commander hadn't noticed the slip of the tongue.

With a shrug, Shepard says to the two quarian ladies, “Okay, milking. Milking shouldn't be too hard for me to do. You with the utters a little, right?”

“Exactly.” Xen says to the commander. “I think you'll enjoy this one, commander. Tali, go show her where the barn is, then get her started on some work.

“Yes, admiral.” Tali says with a nod, looking to Shepard to follow her. Looking back, all Tali can see is Xen bending over in front of Jack, using the strapon toy to satisfy her own means, assuming that Shepard sees a completely different picture being painted through her scrambled eyes...


As they make their way inside the barn, Shepard looks around and sees that most of the stalls that would contain other animals are empty, with most of the wooden housing remaining bare. She imagines this is because Xen's ranch is still a new one, but even for her this seems empty and baseless. The commander would have assumed that Xen would want a whole house before moving on to open up for assistance. Then again, as it's only three of them for now, perhaps Shepard's offering of help won't be too bad.

Finally, they come to a stop at one of the stalls, with Tali opening the door to allow Shepard inside. “Well, here we are. Betsy's been waiting for you.” Upon walking in, Shepard's eyes grow wide as she stares at the supposed cow in Betsy, imagining that she's seeing things yet again. The cow appears to be nothing more than her old teammate and former Cerberus agent, Miranda Lawson, who wears nothing more than latex shoulder length gloves and thigh high boots that bare a resemblance to the pattern of a cow, a headband in her hair that gives her horns and ears like that of the female bovine. Her breasts appear to have grown immensely, so big that being on her hands and knees requires her to be risen off the ground, resting on some sort of riser which she remains chained to.

And the only words uttered by Miranda are, “Moo.”

Shepard blinks, rubbing her eyes. When she opens them back up, she finds that Miranda was never there, just the cow that Tali had intended to introduce her to. “What the hell...” Shepard mutters to herself.

“Everything okay, Shepard?” asks the quarian engineer. “You seem surprised. Have you never seen a cow in your life?”

Shaking her head, the commander replies, “No, no, I've definitely seen cows before, it's just...I swear I saw Miranda for a second.”

“Well, she does have a heifer of an ass.” Tali says jokingly. It's only when her former commander stares at the quarian's backside that Tali raises an eyebrow at her.

“...What? Hey, don't tell me you don't think you have a good ass either!” Shepard says in her defense. “Look, just tell me what I need to do and I'll do it.”

Handing a bucket off to the commander, Tali gives her one simple instruction. “Just milk her utters. I think even someone like yourself can do that with no problem, right?” The quarian pinches the commander's cheek in a playful manner before walking off, leaving Shepard to herself to milk the cow.

To leave the commander's perspective for the time being, Miranda simply remains in her position, eating grass nonchalantly, as if she had no reason to try and escape, or even beg Shepard to break her free. Instead, she acts every bit like a cow, similarly to how Jack had been perfectly okay with Xen treating her like a horse.

Grabbing a stool resting against the wall, Shepard places it to the side of Miranda's body, thinking that she's going to milk the utters. Instead, her hands reach out for Miranda's massive mammaries, squeezing them in to cause a loud “MOOO!” to escape the former Cerberus agent's mouth. The grass she's eating drops from her mouth, her eyes widening over the manner in which Shepard handles her boobs, giving them a tug as she attempts to squeeze what milk she can from the utters.

“Damn, this is harder than I thought.” Shepard grunts, tugging on Miranda's breasts as best she can. “I thought it'd squeeze out so much more easily than this.” Soon enough, she gives Miranda a hard enough squeeze that she manages to get the milk out of her nipples, bringing a smile to the commander's face. “I did it? I did it! I can actually milk this bitch!” Out of an instinct she wasn't sure she had, Shepard gives Miranda's backside a good hard slap, thinking her to still be an actual cow. This causes the hypnotized Cerberus agent to bite down on her lip and roll her eyes, the sensation of getting slapped on her curved ass creating a sense of arousal in her body. Looking back at the milking Shepard, Miranda gives her bedroom eyes, while saying “Moooo...” in a tone Shepard would see as seduction. And odd, unusual, sense of seduction coming from the cow she milks.

“...I-Is...Are you...coming onto me, Betsy?” asks the commander to the cowgirl.

“Moo...” Miranda says, nodding her head.

“Oh, huh. So I guess you're getting some kind of enjoyment out of me milking your utters. Okay. That's weird. But I'm sure it's normal on Rannoch. Hopefully.” Regardless, Shepard continues to tug on Miranda's utters, using them to squirt out as much milk as she can. The bucket soon fills up with the milk that lactates from Miranda's tits, which to the commander is a good sign that she's finished with her duties. “Okay, finished...” says Shepard, wiping her brow. “There, that's done. Now to just...take this to Tali” As her words come to a halt, Shepard kneels down at Miranda's utters, still unaware that the woman is not, in fact, a cow. Noticing the continued leaking of her milk, the commander stares longingly at what she perceives to be utters, growing rather curious. “You know...I wonder how you taste...”

Crawling under the cowgirl, Shepard lifts her head up so that her lips meet with the nipples of Miranda's breasts, causing the former Cerberus agent to wince and moo, a sigh of arousal escaping her lips. Ignoring the mannerisms of the cow and her speech, Shepard suckles on the nipple as it lactates, with milk soon trickling into her mouth. The commander moans at the flavor that enters and taps into her taste buds, the flavor reminding her of the sweetness of the milk used on the Normandy after a bowl of sugar covered corn flakes. Her eyes shut as she savors the flavor of the cow's milk, while Miranda lets out a happy sigh, feeling aroused as her former commander, not that she would recognize her, continues to lap up the milk as it comes into her mouth. “So good...” says a happy commander Shepard.

Though incapable of moving her hands or fingers, Miranda find a that her vaginal juices are suddenly trickling out of her snatch, trickling down her inner thigh. Despite acting very much like a vow, Miranda still makes unusual noises that only an aroused human can do. This seems to go ignored by the commander, who has become addicted to the cow's milk. She couldn't help but take in every bit of the liquid that she can, knowing that there's a gallon more for her to go through. But she can only hold so much at this moment…

Pulling her lips away from what she perceives is a cow udder, Shepard gasps for air, not realizing that so much suckling could cost her oxygen. She also realizes that her stomach can't handle too much more milk, otherwise she might explode. Not a problem for Shepard, as she plans to do a morning workout tomorrow before Xen gives her anymore chores to do. Perhaps maybe she'll take a stroll around the ranch this evening as well, take in what sights she can of the land the admiral owns and make herself more familiar with the area.

"Thanks for the drink, Betsy." Shepard says unknowingly to Miranda, wiping the milk off her lips. "Maybe I'll see you tomorrow, and we can get another drinking session in."

After she grabs the pail of milk, Shepard turns to the stall door, jumping in shock as she sees admiral Xen standing against the doorway, holding the leash that leads to a collar around Jack's neck. "Shepard. I hope you enjoyed Mir…Betsy's milk."

"Uh, yeah…yeah I did." Shepard says with a nervous laugh. "She tastes good, right?"

"She does," Xen says with a nod, slowly walking up to the commander, "But I only asked you to milk her into the bucket, not your mouth. You're just very lucky I found the experience sexually satisfying, otherwise I might have docked your pay."

After hearing that, Shepard pauses with thought before realizing, "…waitasec, we get paid?"

"I thought Tali told you."

Shepard shakes her head, "No, I thought this was just volunteer work. This is new! When do I even get paid?!"

"In due time, commander," Xen assures her, "But for now let's get that milk pasteurized, shall we? I'm just going to leave Beauty with Betsy for a while."


"You'll see." Giving Jack a slap on the ass, the biotic horsegirl whinnies before clopping to Miranda, standing behind the former Cerberus agent with her giant horse dildo. With Miranda trapped in the doggy style position, Jack mounts the agent as if she were a horse, pushing the giant toy schlong between her slit. Miranda cries out as she moos so loudly, the toy horse pole stretching her vaginal cavern to fit inside the cowgirl more appropriately. Meanwhile, commander Shepard watches on with her jaw wide open, her mind in disbelief as she watches a horse fuck a cow.

"…so that's not something you see everyday." Shepard says, watching as the horse thrusts hard into the cow's backside, the gigantic dong having vanished inside of the bovine's muff. "I'm guessing this is a regular thing with these two?"

Xen nods, "Absolutely! And Betsy loves every second of it, isn't that right?"

"MOOOOOO!" Miranda shouts out.

"That's right. Now come along Shepard, I'll show you around the rest of the ranch while I can."

As Xen wraps her arm around the commander, Shepard looks back at the two animals as they get it on, wondering if the admiral was trying some sort of weird breeding facility. To her knowledge, horses aren't exactly able to mate like that. Perhaps she'll have to ask Xen about it a little later.

But as they walk out of the barn, Shepard finds herself feeling a little different. She knows that she drank quite a lot of milk, but it shouldn't affect her so much. Yet she feels a bit heavier, as if a bit of weight had been added to…her breasts?