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How Do I Live

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Tony Stewart smiled as he looked down at his wife, sleeping peacefully in his arms. He lightly traced circles on her stomach, careful not to wake her. She looked so beautiful when she slept, her mind worry free. He was so lucky to have her. She was his and only his. It wasn’t always like that though. Before they really knew each other, they hated one another. But once they finally began to get along, they realized that they were so much alike. They became friends and he quickly realized that she was ‘the one’. Boy did it scare him to death. He wasn’t ready to settle down with one girl, well with any girl. He wanted to go race. Racing was all he ever wanted, until Melissa Trenton came along.

Then he wanted her. He smiled at the thought.

“What are you smiling about?” Melissa opened her eyes, catching her husband smiling at her.

“Just thinking back on how we hated each other and then fell in love,” Tony leaned down, kissing her softly on the lips. “Good morning, baby.”

“Morning,” Melissa smiled and snuggled deeper in her husband’s arms, which instinctively tightening around her. “We did hate each other huh?” She laughed.

“But that’s over and done with,” Tony leaned up, leaning over her. “We are very much in love.”

“Very much,” Melissa echoed and pulled him down, capturing his lips. Wrapping her arms around him, she broke the kiss off, moving down his jaw, to his neck, then up to his ear, sucking gently on his ear lobe. She grinned against his skin when she heard him groan.

“Keep that up and we’re not going to get out of this bed for awhile.” Tony looked down at her.

Melissa grinned devilishly, “Who said I wanted to get out of bed.”

“Mel…” Tony groaned. “You’re gonna be the death of me.” He captured her lips in a hot kiss. When she ran her tongue along his bottom lip, she obliged, opening her mouth. His tongue shot forward, exploring the mouth it knew oh so well. This time, he broke he kiss, moving down her neck placing soft kisses along her neck, moving down to her chest. His hand caressed its way up her naked stomach, cupping her breast. As his thumb and fore finger teased her nipple, his mouth enclosed on the other.

“Oh Tony…” Melissa moaned, arching up, her hands clenching around the sheets. She ran her finger through his hair, holding him in place. “Oh God,” she felt heat pooling at her center.

Tony moved from her nipple down her stomach, leaving a trail of wet kisses. He dipped in her belly button with his tongue before continuing on. He kissed her inner thigh as he fingers parted her. His fingers rub against her, his thumb teasing her clit. He leaned down and ran his tongue down her fold. He grinned against her as he heard her hiss. He pushed one finger in, then two, as his tongue circled her clit, flicking it.

“Tony…” Melissa moaned she moved her arms behind her and underneath the pillow, clutching it. She closed her eyes, feeling the sensations that her husband was creating. “Oh...mmm…”

Tony felt her clenching around his fingers and knew she was getting close. He moved his fingers faster and sucked on her clit, flicking his tongue across it.

“Oh God, Tony…” Melissa tensed as she felt her orgasm rise up. When his tongue moved over her clit again, she let go.

Tony happily lapped up her juices before moving back up her body. He stopped at her breast again, this time take the other nipple in his mouth.

“I don’t think so,” Melissa pushed him away. “Your turn,” she pushed him down on the bed, climbing on top of him. She pressed her lips to his, her tongue begging for entrance. When he opened his mouth, she ran her tongue along his, tasting herself on him and she felt her desire build again. She broke the kiss and kissed his neck, then moved to his ear lobe, knowing that was one of his sensitive parts. Her hand ran down his stomach, ever so slightly skimming his penis.

“Mel…” Tony groaned his breath catching.

Melissa grinned at his response and wrapped her hand around his shaft, her thumb rubbing over the tip, feeling the pre cum budding. She kissed her way down, stopping to tease his nipples. She moved further south, kissing his thighs as her hand slowly began moving. She placed a kiss on his balls before sitting up, running her tongue along his head.

“Oh, baby…”

She wrapped her mouth around the tip, her tongue stroking it, swirling around, while her hand was still moving up and down his shaft. She removed her hand and took him into her mouth. He clenched his eyes shut and gripped the sheets tighter. She slowly moved up, letting her teeth gently scrap against him before going back down faster. She heard him gasp and smiled. She removed him from her mouth, letting her tongue, glide up and down his shaft, her hand taking his balls and slowly massaging them.

“Baby, I’m not gonna last long.” Tony groaned as she took him in her mouth again. His hands moved from the spot on the sheets and tangled in her hair, moving her head up and down on him. He felt his orgasm rising and pulled her up to him. “I need you now.” He whispered fiercely, flipping them over and sending himself deep inside of her in one motion. They both moaned as he stayed not moving inside of her.

“Tony…” Melissa moaned and wrapped her legs around his waist as he started moving. “Faster…”

Tony obliged, moving faster as Melissa raised her hips to meet his. He felt her run her fingernails across his back, pressing him tighter to her. He leaned back, still moving and moved a hand between them. His thumb found her clit and his rubbed it.

“Oh God, Tony!” Melissa gasped as she was flooded with sensations. She bucked her hips faster, her orgasm near. “Harder…” She clenched her eyes shut, trying to hold off until she felt him ready.

“Let go…” Tony muttered. “Let go for me baby.” She felt her clenched him tighter and then tense as she came. When she came, he let himself go and shot his seed inside of her. He collapsed on her, breathing hard. After a few minutes, he rolled off of her, and gathered her to his side. “Ah, now it’s a good morning.” He smiled.

“It’s a great morning.” Melissa smiled and kissed him softly. “What time do you have to be at your appearance?”

“Ten,” Tony said. “I should probably get in the shower. Can’t go there smelling that sex now can I?’

“You’re married, you’re allowed to.” Melissa laughed. “I’ll join you.” She pushed the covers back and crawled from the bed, walking towards the bathroom. Looking over her shoulder, she sent him a wink.

Tony growled and jumped up from the bed, chasing after her. He caught her and pushed her up against the back of the bathroom door and captured her lips.

“Tony, shower…” Melissa whispered against his lips. “No time, you have…” she was cut off by Tony’s lips again.

“I can be fast,” Tony said and took her into the shower and turned on the water.


Rachel Earnhardt sighed and knocked louder on the door, glancing at her watch. It was ten ‘til ten. Melissa told her that Tony had an appearance at ten, to come over then so they could work on his surprise. ‘Where can they be?’ She thought as she raised her hand to knock again. She stilled when she heard giggling. She started laughing. ‘So that’s why she didn’t answer her phone calls.’ She knocked louder this time.

“Hey Rachel!” Melissa grinned when she saw her friend standing outside the motor coach.

“Wow, aren’t you in a happy mood this morning!” Rachel laughed as she walked into the coach. “Tony, aren’t you going to be late?” She called when she saw him moving around in the back of the coach.

“I know!” Tony called. “Blame it on her!” He came from the bedroom, pulling a shirt over his head. He sat on the couch, pulling on his socks.

“Me!” Melissa gasped. “Excuse me; you’re the one who said they’d be quick!”

“That was in the shower, not after!” Tony reached for his shoes, pulling them on quickly.

“I don’t think I should be hearing this.” Rachel laughed, shaking her head.

“Oh come on Rachel, like you haven’t had days where you just want her husband all the time. And don’t say you don’t either, especially with someone like Junior!” Melissa laughed when Rachel blushed. “That’s what I thought.”

“Someone like Junior? What’s that supposed to mean?” Tony asked, pausing at the door.

“It doesn’t mean anything.” Melissa kissed him quickly. “Now go before you are late.” She shook her head as the door closed behind her husband.

“And to think you didn’t like him.” Rachel laughed and sat down on the coach.

“I don’t know what I was thinking back then.” Melissa sighed wistfully. “I was stupid.”

“Five years…” Rachel hooked her laptop up and waited for it to load. She was going to help Melissa and they figured they could cover more stores if they had two computers.

“I know, doesn’t seem like it.” Melissa grabbed herself a coke from the fridge. She passed a bottle of water to Rachel before sitting down next to her with her own laptop. “Trust me, it will go fast.”

“Well I still can’t believe that I’m married to Junior.” Rachel pulled up the Internet, typing in the name of a popular dress store. “I went to a race in Charlotte and ended up getting lost and running smack dab into Dale. Fate works in crazy ways.”

“Don’t I know it!” Melissa agreed and they both fell into silence, searching stores online.

“No, I don’t like that one.” Melissa shook her head as Rachel clicked through the choices. “It’s gotta be a ‘knock your socks off’ kind of hot.” She sighed as none of the dresses were even close to be anything she wanted.

“I understand, but you want to get to the restaurant first before you guys rip each other’s clothes off.” Rachel laughed. “I can’t believe it’s already been five years for you guys! It seems that your guys were still bickering about not having feelings for one another. “

“Well I didn’t have them when we were bickering about it!” Melissa laughed at the memories of the two of them denying their attraction.

“Right…” Rachel laughed as she pulled up another webpage. “If my memory serves you right, you were always complaining about him. Tony this, Tony that…”

“That doesn’t mean I had feelings for him. He constantly got under my skin.”

“If you didn’t care about him, you wouldn’t have let him under your skin. You can stop disagreeing with me. You know I’m right. And look, here we are shopping for a dress for you five year anniversary.” Rachel chuckled, turning back to the computer. “How about this one?” She clicked on the dress, enlarging the photo.

“Oh,” Melissa stared at the photo. A slow grin spread across her lips. “That’s perfect.”

“It’s gorgeous.” Rachel agreed. “Tony will definitely love this. Of course as much as he’ll love it on, he’ll love it even better off.”

“He loves everything off!” Melissa laughed, grabbing her credit card. “Can I send everything to your house? I don’t want Tony seeing it until the night of our date.”

“Of course. I’ll try to keep Dale out of it. He’ll probably think it’s for him.” Rachel couldn’t keep the smile off her face when she thought of her husband.

“Well, why doesn’t he take you out so we can shop for a dress for you?” Melissa finished with ordering her dress. She quickly typed in the address to Victoria Secret’s. “Something for after,” she grinned

“We don’t have any special date coming up.” Rachel told her, looking at the lingerie, seeing if anything stood out. Maybe she’d buy something. “We haven’t made the two year mark yet.”

“Exactly, you’re in the newlywed stage. You should be going out and in the bed the rest of the time.” Melissa found the perfect white see through babydoll. “That’s perfect.” She quickly bought it.

“That is sexy. But I’m sure Tony can’t wait to get you out of that dress.”

“Well he won’t be able to take me out of the dress. He’ll have to suffer. I’m wearing that when we get home.”

“When’s Tony go out?” Rachel asked looking at the TV where qualifying was currently on.

“Uhm, towards the middle. Not sure of exactly what number though.” Melissa watched the scroll and smiled when she didn’t see her husband’s name. She didn’t miss him. “Ah, perfect timing.” She saw the number 20 Home Depot Chevrolet drive out onto the track.

Melissa watched her husband start around the track, towards the green flag to begin his lap. She crossed her fingers, hoping this would be a good lap. Nothing could prepare her for what happened next.

Tony drove into turn one, and got loose. She thought he had it corrected but very quickly, the car turned to the right and headed up towards the outside wall. Once it hit, the car bounced back turning over, sliding back into the wall upside down and then barrel rolling down the track pieces of the car flying off before finally ending on the apron right side up.

Melissa stared in shock at the TV screen. He hit that wall hard. She knew what speeds they carried into corner at this track, it was over 190 mph. “No…” She whispered, bringing her hands up to her gaping mouth. “Put the window net down…” She told him. “Please, Tony put the net down.” She begged, barely aware that Rachel came up behind her, wrapping an arm around her. “Why isn’t he putting the window net down?”

“He probably got the wind knocked out of him. He’ll be okay.” Rachel silently prayed that she was telling the truth. She watched the reply over and cringed when the car first made impact with the wall. She wasn’t going to lie. He hit hard.

“Damnit, I don’t care what Jeff thinks!” Melissa yelled at the TV when the camera cut from Tony’s car to Jeff Gordon staring at the jumbo tron that was replaying the wreck. She watched in shock as the medics ran to the car, pulling the window net down. Once it was down, the guy looked over his shoulder waving his hand. More medics ran to the car, with one crawling through the passenger window.

“I need to go to him.” Melissa said, turning from the screen and grabbing her shoes.

“Mel, no, you can’t.” Rachel stopped her.

“Get out of my way; I have to see my husband!” She glared at her friend. “Please Rach; I have to know that he’s okay.”

“I know, Mel, believe me, I know. But you won’t get anywhere near him. Just let the medics get him to the hospital.” She cringed as the word slipped through her mouth.

“Hospital? You think it’s that bad?”

“Mel, I’m sorry. He’ll be okay. You’ll see. With a hit like that, they’ll probably send him to the hospital to get a CAT scan done and other tests.” She turned back to the TV pulling Melissa back from the door and they sat on the couch together, holding hands.

“Why won’t they show him?” She asked, wiping the tears with the back of her hand.

“I don’t know.” Rachel told her honestly. “Just listen I’m sure they’ll pass word and we’ll just wait until we know where they are taking him.”

“Hello, if you’re just joining us,” Mike Joy started at the program came back from commercial. “We had a hard crash by Tony Stewart. The EMTs are tending to him as we speak. Qualifying is under a red flag. Here is what happened,” the screen cut to a replay of the wreck.

Melissa couldn’t turn away. She watched as Tony cut in the corner and slammed into the wall and rolling across the track. When the car stopped, there was a deafening silence.

“I can’t watch that, my breath stops every time the car hits the wall.” Darrell Waltrip said as the screen turned back to the wreck. Melissa moved forward on the couch, wishing the people would move so she could see Tony.

“They’re cutting the car.” Melissa began to become hysterical.

“They have to get him out.”

“Why can’t he just climb through the window?” She cried.

“Maybe because he can’t.”

“You think he’s dead?” Melissa turned to her friend.

“No, I don’t. He’s alive, Melissa. He probably can’t get out on his own and they are worrying about a head injury. They need to get him on a backboard and the only way to do that is to cut the roof off.” They both jumped as a knock came at the door.

Melissa jumped up to get it. Throwing the door open, she saw two uniformed officers along with Mike Helton, president of NASCAR. She slumped against the door, this couldn’t be good.

“Mrs. Stewart, we’re here to take you to the hospital.” Mike Helton told her sympathetically.

“How is he?” Melissa asked.

Mike sighed. He hated this part of the job, but it came with the territory. “To be honest, it doesn’t look good.”

“Oh no…” Melissa gasped and slumped to the floor.

Rachel ran to her friend, glaring at the man. Was he an idiot! “Shh, it’s gonna be okay, Mel. He’s not a doctor. He doesn’t know. Tony will be okay. Go to the hospital and be with him.” She hugged her friend, rocking her. “He’ll be okay. Don’t give up hope. He’ll be okay.” She whispered. “Do you want me to go with you so you’re not alone?”

“Please?” Melissa lifted her teary eyes to look at her best friend.

“Of course. Come on, let’s go.” Rachel helped her friend up. She grabbed her cell phone, ID badge and keys off the counter, before slipping on her shoes. “Let’s go.”

They got on the golf cart, with the officer driving, Mike in the passenger seat, and them in the back. The other officer left behind to lock up. As they drove through the crowd, Rachel cursed NASCAR at that moment for letting so many people in the infield. She knew everyone was looking at them, some yelling at them, others snapping pictures. It seemed like it took forever before they were pulling up to a police cruiser. The golf cart skidded to a stop and everyone got off. The police officer held open the backseat door for them.

“If this wasn’t such a serious situation, I’d laugh at us being put into the back of a cop car.” Rachel cracked lightly as she let Melissa get in first.

“Rachel!” She heard her name being called before she could get in. She looked over her shoulder to see her husband running up to her. She was torn. She wanted to go to him, but they needed to get to the hospital.

“Go to him Rachel. Tell him that you love him.” Melissa whispered from the backseat, fingering her wedding ring. “You’ll never know when you won’t get the chance.”

“Rachel!” Dale called her again. Rachel turned around and ran to him. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight against him. Her arms snaked around his waist as she buried her head into his shoulder. She felt the tears roll down her cheeks. This could have easily been her husband.

“Shh, it’s okay.” He whispered, running his hand down her hair. “I’m here.”

“I love you, don’t forget that.” Rachel pulled back, staring into her husband’s blue eyes. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Dale leaned down and kissed her. “Call me and let me know anything you find out.” He kissed her again, still holding her tight. “I’ll be there as soon as my run is over and if I miraculously get the pole, I’ll be there as soon as my duties are done.”

“Just make sure you are there.” Rachel whispered, hugging him again. “I love you, J.”

“I love you too,” Dale kissed her. “I will be there.” He let her go and watched her walk back to the car. He gave her a smile when she looked over her shoulder, catching his eye. She smiled back before climbing in the car, next to their friend.