If he could do it all over again, Kyungsoo wonders if he would still choose the same. If he would still be standing on the edge of a hill, looking down at the vast ocean below him.
The wind cuts through his face with just the right force. Closing his eyes, Kyungsoo smiles. Yes, just as he likes it.
Fluttering his eyes open against the strong wind, he looks down. The water seems to beat against the hill in rhythmic intervals. It’s a nice sound.
He wonders if there will be wind and water in hell. Probably not.
His phone suddenly rings, his favorite song blasting through his ears for one last time. He doesn’t bother even taking it out of his pocket. Whoever it is, he thanks them for making him listen to the song which kept him going for years one last time.
On a long and tiring day
I got together my heart that was filled with sighs
Today and tomorrow, I will get up again
And live through the day
Kyungsoo laughs cynically. He doesn’t know why this was ever his favorite song. He wants to ignore this song today.
He wants to be a coward for one last time.
Closing his eyes, the 25-year-old boy jumps.
The wind is hurtful against the soft facial skin. It doesn’t last long though. After all, Kyungsoo calculated how long it would take to freefall from an 800 feet hill. About 7 seconds.
The water slaps his face as soon as his body hits the ocean. The force of the current is stronger than it looks.
He can’t breathe. He can’t move.
His lungs suffocate. His chest constricts in pain.
And he waits. Waits for the regret to crash in. But it doesn’t. So now he waits. Waits for death to find him.