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Two-Player Game

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HeereToWin: Okay, but hear me out.

HeereToWin: Dungeons and Dragons, but the dungeon master has a soundboard with the sitcom laugh tracks and sound effects.

HeereToWin: Or, even better- AoTD but instead of zombies we have passive-aggressive slow walkers.

OneInAMellion: wait who’s this?

OneInAMellion: awesome idea on the dnd thing pls start a petition or something

OneInAMellion: and how do you know about aotd that shit’s so vintage

HeereToWin: Oh damn, wrong user, sorry

HeereToWin: I meant to send those to my friend Jared but I think I clicked on the wrong gamertag.

HeereToWin: And of course I like it! Vintage video games? Throw em at me, what have you got against them?

OneInAMellion: dude who’re you kidding i fucking love aotd

OneInAMellion: the name’s michael by the way

HeereToWin: You too? It’s a small world.

HeereToWin: I’m Jeremy. Great to meet you

OneInAMellion: you’re so polite wtf

HeereToWin: Yeah, well, I’m not your average 12 year old Roblox player.

OneInAMellion: please tell me you’re joking

OneInAMellion: for everything you said in that sentence

OneInAMellion: i don’t even know what’d be worse, the 12 year old part or the roblox

OneInAMellion: makes me feel dirty just by typing the word ‘roblox’ ugh

HeereToWin: God, dude, take a joke. Of course I’m not 12. What kind of 12 year old would know, let alone LIKE Apocalypse of the Damned?

OneInAMellion: i’m sorry mr. grammatically perfect, usually when people are trying to convey sarcasm and irony they don’t use full sentence stops and capitalization

OneInAMellion: and you’ve avoided the <shudders> roblox question

HeereToWin: I don’t play Roblox. I will not play Roblox. The word ‘Roblox’ is hereby cancelled from this chat.

HeereToWin: And what’s wrong with full proper sentences?

OneInAMellion: there’s nothing wrong with full proper sentences aside from the fact that they make me feel like i’m being scolded by my moms again

HeereToWin: :p

HeereToWin: Wanna join a game together? I found this one map that’s damn hard to beat but Jared isn’t answering any of my messages.

OneInAMellion: hack this jared’s phone and force him to reply to you

HeereToWin: Nah, he’s usually the one doing the hacking.

OneInAMellion: woah really? sweet

HeereToWin: Eh. It WAS pretty sweet when he gained control of the school PA system and blasted All Star during the midterms. Anyway, wanna join the game?

OneInAMellion: invite me and i’ll beat the shit out of every other player on the level jeremy

HeereToWin: Not if I do it first.

HeereToWin: Oh wait, but before we start, lemme just finish my introduction real fast

HeereToWin: Uh, I’m Jeremy, 16, male (if you haven’t inferred), geek, has no friends, and my dad literally never wears pants.

HeereToWin: If you couldn’t tell, I’m not good at talking to people either.

OneInAMellion: you were doing fine up until the dad part

OneInAMellion: alright Jeremy

OneInAMellion: name’s Michael, 16, male (look at that, we’re practically twins), more of a nerd, only friend’s my headphones, has a weird taste in music, and my moms pry way too much into my nonexistent love life

HeereToWin: I get the music part. Like, it’s hard to explain. My music taste is just… all the songs… except for the ones I don’t like.

OneInAMellion: I KNOW RIGHT???

HeereToWin: Ohh god. Opinion on Echosmith?

OneInAMellion: i only know the song ‘bright’  and i love it. opinion on bob marley?

HeereToWin: Underappreciated, but not my favorite.

OneInAMellion: <le gasp> you little shit how dare you he’s so good

HeereToWin: Told you! Weird music tastes. You and me both, it seems.

HeereToWin: Anyway, the game’s starting. I added you, check your inbox.

OneInAMellion: yep it’s there

OneInAMellion: prepare to get your ass kicked

HeereToWin: Read my username and weep, bitch.

HeereToWin has gone offline.

OneInAMellion: we’ll see about that

OneInAMellion has gone offline.