he thought he'd got it through his stupid fucking head. saturday was a fluke- she was a fluke, because he'd let his guard down and was feeling all vulnerable and it seemed like a good idea at the time. but he was gonna go back to school on monday, go back to his friends and listen to them go on about how cool he is and how much larry lester sucks balls, and forget allison even existed. he didn't think it'd be that hard- he'd hardly ever seen her around before, and he doubted she'd be caught dead in the gym or the cafeteria. so he'd keep his head down, get drunk and make out with other girls at parties, and essentially forget that day completely. he'd thought it all out.
the minute he saw her, he knew it was fucked from the beginning.
she was back in her baggy clothing, the trusty bag draped over her shoulder. she reached up to play with her bangs, but she was met with air- that's when he realized her face was showing, tied up with this black ribbon. god, how had he managed to forget how goddamn pretty she was? it made his breath catch in his chest when their eyes locked, her letting out a little surprised squeak. his friends saw her and snickered, knocking his shoulders. he ignored them, eyes stuck on her. her own flashed, daring him to say something. daring him to laugh with his friends. when he didn't, her pink lips turned into a thin line- he'd kissed those lips, how could he ever forget that- and stomped over, fishing for something in her never ending bag.
"here." his bright blue hoodie was in her fist, positioned towards him. he could feel his friends' burning gazes. he knew what would happen if he took that hoodie. he'd be fucked. his dad would hate him forever. he'd become the laughing stock of the whole damn school. Her knuckles were turning white as she held the hoodie tighter. allison's look now was unguarded- her small smile after she kissed him flashed across his mind- as if even she couldn't predict what he was gonna do. he knew what he wanted to do. he wanted to say fuck you to all these guys so badly it hurt. mostly, he wanted to kiss her again, because he'd convinced himself he'd stopped thinking about her but that was only an excuse to think about her more. he'd been fucked since 7 am on saturday.
but he shrugged. because he was a coward.
"not mine." he said. her face crumpled. he was such a fucking coward.
"get out of here, freak." paul sneered, towering over her. the hoodie moved in a flash of blue on the ground. he stared at his shoes as she spit on it, stomping until it was covered in dirt. he felt her leave instead of saw her.
"fucking weirdo." matt muttered, watching her go. he stared at the ruined hoodie.
it should've been him.