"If I turned my face to the side-if I pressed my lips against his bare shoulder… I knew without any doubt exactly what would follow." New Moon pg. 376
I sat silently next to Jacob in the cab of my truck. Indecision pulled at my heart as I tried fruitlessly to organize my scattered thoughts. My aching heart urged me to pull away and protect myself from being hurt again. My aching body urged me to give in to temptation. It would be so easy to reach out and touch him; to wrap my arms around him and quench the thirst for his body that I have long ignored. His russet skin gleamed in the dim light and the heat from his body wrapped around me like a blanket. I sighed deeply and he pressed a kiss to the top of my hair.
"Ready to go in?" He asked with a voice that was barely a whisper.
"Almost…" I answered noncommittally, not quite ready to squelch the urges that were getting stronger by the moment. "Um, Jake…" I whispered hesitantly.
He turned in his seat a little so that he could look down into my face. "Hmm?" He replied gently, causing my heart rate to soar.
I stared into his eyes and found myself rendered completely incapable of speech. Instead, I reached my hand up and set it gently on his cheek. So quickly that I might have imagined it I saw a bright glint of hunger flash in his eyes that he quickly replaced with concern.
"Bells? What," He began but I stopped him with a finger on his lips. I slid my finger from his lips down to the hollow of his throat and then traced my hand around to wrap around his neck. I took a deep breath to steady my erratic heartbeat and then gave his neck a gentle tug, pulling his face to mine to touch my lips to the corner of his jaw. I felt his body shiver under my hands and I smiled into his neck. I brought my other hand up around his neck and laced my fingers through his shaggy hair. I traced my lips over his jaw line, up to his ear and back again, feeling my body shudder as a low growl vibrated through his chest.
When I paused to press my nose into his shoulder and breathe in his musky scent, his arms came out to pull me by the waist so I was sitting across his lap. The hunger in his eyes was no longer hidden as he brought his lips down to meet mine. His kisses were gentle at first, as though he was testing me to see if I might pull away. When he discovered that I was more than willing to return his kisses he pulled me closer and crushed his mouth to mine. He flicked my bottom lip with his tongue and I obliged by parting my lips for him without a moments hesitation. My heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest as the intensity grew. Our mouths and tongues danced together haphazardly, sending sparks of desire shooting down my body. When necessity demanded it, I pulled away and rested my forehead against his so that we could both catch our breath.
"Bella, my Bella," Jacob murmured as he pulled me even closer and hooked a hand under my knee to tug it over his lap so I was straddling his waist. His hands traced down my body, squeezing my waist before sliding back up to rest just below the swell of my breast.
I leaned forward to recapture his mouth with my own and slid my hands down his back, tracing circles across the broad expanse of his bare skin. Without any warning, his hands moved upward and cupped both of my breasts with the gentlest caress. A moan slipped from my throat as I arched my back and inadvertently ground my hips into his.
"Inside?" He gasped while his lips brushed up and down along my throat. My jumbled thoughts couldn't seem themselves into form a coherent response so I just nodded and reached for the door. "Charlie?" He asked before sliding out of the truck with his arms hooked under my legs.
"He said not to wait up... he may be gone all night." I managed to choke out.
"All night, hm?" He stepped forward and pressed my back against the truck, dipping his head to graze his teeth along my earlobe. I forgot how to breathe. "Bella?" He purred seductively in my ear. My breath came back with a gasp and I captured his face in my hands to pull his lips to mine. I slid my tongue along his lip before he opened his mouth to allow me to plunge it inside. Our mouths and tongues dueled, moving together with a strange but wonderful tempo. I shifted my legs to lock my ankles around his waist which elicited a groan from each of us as I rubbed against the front of his pants.
In a flash, Jacob wrapped his arms tighter around me and bolted towards the house. Once we were upstairs he set me down on my feet and looked around awkwardly as though it had just occurred to him what we were doing.
"Jake," I whispered, walking up to him and taking his hands in mine. His eyes flicked to mine instantly and the intensity in them startled me. I held his gaze and backed towards my bed, pulling him along with me. When I felt the back of my knees bump into the foot of the bed, I sat and pulled his arms down towards me to rest on the mattress by my hips. He sank down to his knees in front of me and wrapped his arms around my middle, leaning forward to press his cheek against my stomach.
"My Bella," He whispered again with undisguised awe in his tone. He pulled back slightly and I opened my mouth to speak but the words froze in my throat when I felt his warm fingers sliding under my shirt along my back. He continued to slide his hands up, pushing my arms up into the air as he eased my shirt up over my head. Once he tossed my shirt into the corner I felt his eyes on me, burning with intensity and admiration. He set his hands on my shoulders and lightly pushed until I was laying on my back with him kneeling over me on the bed.
With deliberate slowness he ran his fingertips from my shoulders down my arms and back up my stomach until they rested just below my breasts. I felt goosebumps rise to cover my overheated skin as his light touch sent arousal shooting through my body like fire. With careful movements, he traced one finger along the bottom edge of my bra, stopping at the simple front clasp and glaring at it like it was a difficult puzzle. I blushed even brighter as I reached up to still his fumbling efforts and unhooked the clasp with a quiet snap. Jacob nudged the thin fabric aside and sat back on his heels for a moment. His scrutiny caused me to blush uncontrollably and I self conciously wrapped my arms over my naked chest.
"Geez Bells, you are so beautiful..." Jacob whispered as he gently pulled my arms away from my chest. "So beautiful..." The look in his eyes was mesmerizing and made me forget all about being shy. I felt yet another hot shot of arousal fly through my veins and settle between my legs as he growled low in his chest and leaned over to pin my arms against the bed over my head. He held my hands there with one of his own and slid his other down my arm and between my bare breasts.
My whole body felt like it was on fire as he continued his one handed exploration. His warm fingers wrapped around each of my breasts in turn, massaging gently. I couldn't help but let out a moan when his thumb flicked over each of my nipples, causing them to harden into even stiffer peaks. My legs shook with the energy that was beginning to pool between them as his hand drifter further and further south until he paused with his fingers just above the waistband of my jeans.
The first wave of panic hit me when I heard the quiet hiss of my zipper. I tugged my arms from his hold and clutched at his shoulders to pull him up so that I could look in his eyes. He saw the uncertainty that must have been written plainly across my face and dipped his head to capture my lips in his. His kisses were gentle and reassuring and I felt my uncertainty start to fade away. This was MY Jacob and we were right where we were supposed to be.
I threaded my fingers through his hair and crushed my lips to his with more enthusiasm than I thought I was capable of. My pulse raced out of control and the aching in my abdomen grew unbearable as his hands went back to their journey and slipped down inside my jeans to press against the thin fabric of my panties. I arched my back and allowed a quiet moan to slip out of my throat as he rubbed the damp fabric and made the aching grow more intense. Finally, he broke our kiss and stood in front of me by the bed. He tossed me a goofy grin before dipping his head to press feather light kisses on my stomach. His fingers slid under the fabric of my jeans and panties and gently pulled them down over my hips. His lips followed his hands progress and he placed a row of hot kisses in a line over my stomach and down the outer side of my leg until he reached my knee. He dropped to his knees in front of me as he eased the clothing from my legs and tossed it aside.
Just as he had before, he pulled me into a sitting position and wrapped his arms around my waist. His cheek found its place on my stomach and he paused there, breathing deeply. When he lifted his head to catch my eyes, his gaze took my breath away. The desire that I saw in those dark depths pierced me and I tried to rub my legs together to relieve the pressure that was building there. I tucked my bottom lip between my teeth and tugged his arms to make him stand up. My breathing was irregular as I reached out and placed my hands on the waistband of his track pants. "Are you sure?" I asked shakily, keeping my gaze on his face to avoid the blazing scarlet that I knew would appear on my face as soon as I turned my attention to THAT part of his anatomy.
"Are you?" He asked simply, placing his warm hands on top of mine and smiling down at me.
I nodded and dragged my gaze down over his body. His bare chest glistened with sweat and made the quivering of his well chiseled muscles stand out in even sharper relief. The muscles of his abdomen contracted with every movement of my fingers along his waistband and it made me smile to think that I had that sort of power over him. Finally I allowed my gaze to drop to his erection that was struggling against the fabric of his pants. My cheeks blazed as I knew they would but I brushed the thought aside and slid the fabric down until I had my Jacob standing in front of me in all his glory. "Shit..." I breathed as I admired his body.
Jacob shifted uncomfortably and I looked up into his eyes to see a look of uncertainty on his face. "Shit?" He asked. I grinned hugely at him and stood up to wrap my arms around his neck.
"You see, Jake," I began, searching for the right words that wouldn't make me feel too stupid. "Logically, I know that men and women are designed to do this. I know that no matter how staggering the size difference looks, you WILL fit in there... but damn..." my voice trailed off as I noticed the grin on Jacob's face. "What??" I asked defensively.
"Only you, Bella, would take the time to ponder anatomy and physiology while in the middle of something like this." He said with a chuckle. I rolled my eyes at him and pressed my lips against his shoulder. I pulled him down for a kiss and gasped as the movement caused his erection to bump along my inner thigh. "Um, Bella..." Jacob murmured into my lips. "Do you happen to have a... um... you know.. condom thingy?"
My cheeks burned scarlet again as I stepped away from him to reach into my bedside table. His eyebrows shot into the air until I explained with a chuckle. "Renee gave them to me, just in case. She's all about birth control."
He took the small foil packet from my hands and pulled me against him to crush his lips to my own. By the time he broke his kiss we were both breathless. He dipped his head down to press searing kisses along my jawline and clavicle and gently eased me backwards until I was laying on the bed with him above me. He sat up just enough to rip open the package and slide the thin piece of material into place. I held my breath as he positioned himself over me on the bed and touched his tip to my opening. He leaned down over me and dragged his tongue up my neck and to my ear lobe. He nipped at me ear lobe gently before whispering "Just try to relax."
I tried my best to do as he told me but couldn't help but gasp and claw at his bare back wildly as he began to press inside me. He buried his face in my shoulder for a moment as he let us both adjust before easing himself in deeper. We both felt the passive resistance of my virginity as he pressed still further in and he paused. "Ready?" He asked softly. I nodded against his shoulder and he pulled back a little before sliding back in with slightly more force. The pain wasn't as bad as I expected but I still couldn't resist biting into his shoulder to keep from crying out. He stayed still for a moment, waiting for the waves of pain to pass before slowly easing himself back in and out in a steady rhythm. The pain soon gave way to the same wonderful ache that had been pooling itself in my lower abdomen.
I clutched at his back and moaned loudly as every thrust intensified the pressure between my legs. Our breathe began to come in ragged gasps as we both neared the point of no return. Suddenly, Jake's eyes closed tightly and his fingers squeezed my hips tightly as he fell over the edge. The feeling of him pulsing inside me sent me over just a moment later and stars burst into my vision. "Bella...oh Bella..." He moaned as he finished with a few more shallow thrusts. With a groan he slid out of me and took care of the condom. Just a moment later he laid down on the bed next to me and pulled my body across the bed to tuck my back against his chest.
"My Bella," He whispered. "I love you Bells. Always have."
I turned my head back over my shoulder to press a light kiss to his lips. "I love you too..."