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The Cursed and Broken

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I had no idea why I was feeling the way I was. I had been a part of the Teen Titans for a little over the year. Being transferred into the Justice League when the Teen Titans were assimilated into them should have been nothing at all. Still, I found my hands playing with the fabric of my leggings as Kole, Bumble Bee, Herald, Beast Boy, and some of us other Titans made our way up in the large elevator in the Watchtower.

            “Girl, quit it,” Bee whispered to me. “You’re making me nervous.”

I let out a soft chuckle. “Sorry,” my hands laid flat at my sided, fingertips itching to continue their dance. “I don’t even know why I’m nervous like this,” I whispered back.

“Maybe it’s because most of the Justice League know your history and will judge you,” Beat Boy chimed in. My eyes lowered in a glare as I slowly turned toward him.

“Thank you, Beat Boy,” the words spilled through my tight teeth.

He cowered and let out an awkward laugh. “Sorry.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Bee let out a laugh as her eyes rolled. “Just relax girl, they also know what good you’ve done, and how hard you worked to get your own, old team behind bars.” She was right, I ha d little to nothing to worry about.

As we stepped out of the elevator, we entered the top floor of the Watch Tower, the Control Room. Towards the front, the main seven Justice League members stood, talking among themselves. I could hear the others whispering about Superman, Aquaman, Flash, Green Lantern, Martian Manhunter and Wonderwoman, ogling over stories they had heard. I didn’t pay much attention because my eyes were set on the dark clothed man that was the only one not talking to anyone else. His eyes scanned over the crowd of heroes that had gathered in the large room, some Justice League members, others were Teen Titans members that I had worked with before. Some, however, were heroes that I had never seen before. Batman seemed like he was looking for something, or someone. Our eyes met, I could practically see his masked eyes glare and his jaw tighten before he moved on, looking over the crowd over and over again.

“Don’t worry too much about him,” an un-familiar male voice spoke behind me.

“I’m not worried too much,” I answered back, not turning around to meet the man’s eyes. “He just doesn’t know me yet. None of them really do.”

“Do you even know who you are?” I could hear the smirk on his lips.

With a smirk on my own, I spun on my heels to finally face him. He must have been the new Robin; dressed in dark green pants, a ted shirt and the classic yellow cape and black mask. His dark brown hair was a bit messy. He was a good head taller than me. The green sleeves of his red shirt cut off to show his muscles. “If you wanted to know my name, you could have just asked.” A small laugh came from my lips as my playful smirk grew.

“Oh, I already know who you are,” he stood up taller, his arms crossing over his chest.

“Then I guess I don’t need to tell you.” With a small wink, I poked his chest and walked away, toward where I knew Bee and Kole would be.

When I saw them, I knew they had watched my whole interaction with the new Robin, since they both had their brows raised and smiled planted on their mouths. “What was that?” Kole asked as I joined them.

I shrugged. “just some guy that wanted to get my name, yet apparently already knew it.” I laughed and shook my head.

“That’s not just any guy,” Bee began. “That’s Jason Todd, the new Robin. Nightwing says that he has a temper and rarely talks to people unless he knows them.”

I shrugged. “Maybe I need to move on from Cy,” I offered. “Maybe I just want to play games.”

“Girl, don’t even try to lie.” Bee leaned to one side. “We both know that you’re too afraid because of your powers, and you still can’t talk to Cy without it having to do with business.”

I sighed, and my smirk lowered. My fingers brushed against my pants, energy pulsing through them. “I’m trying,” my teeth played with my lip. “They haven’t acted up for a while and- I’m trying to get over what happened between us. He played with my feelings to get close to Blood, and, like an idiot, I let him, and it cost me my school.”

“That was also years ago, and I went to that school too,” Bee pointed out.

“But it’s different,” I interjected, “You were there undercover, I was there to become an actual villain, the best one.”

“And I hope that you’ve put that dream behind you,” a deep voice spoke behind me.

I couldn’t help but let out a laugh. “I see where your protégés get the eavesdropping and sneaking,” I spoke as I turned to go face to face with the Dark Knight himself. His mouth formed into a smirk before he regained a professional feature. “And to answer your comment, yes, I did put that behind me when I decided to turn on my team and become a Titan. And I believe that my loyalty to the Titans and tot good side has been shown again and again.”

“And yet, you still talk of your villain friends in a friendly and fond way,” his voice was raspy.

“They were my family and life for a good part of my life. None had done anything to me, so why should I curse them? I left because I didn’t believe what they wanted to do anymore. Say what you want, Batman, but I never hurt anyone. I don’t have blood on my hands like some might.”

For a moment, he was silent, then he tilted his head up, hummed and spoke again. “You may be a League member now, but ill still have my eye on you. You should know that Wonderwoman voted for you to be in as well as some of the others. I hope you don’t disappoint them.” With those last words, he left back to where the other six were waiting to address the waiting League members, old and new.

 

It took weeks before they put me on an assignment. And even then, it was something small, checking out an energy signature where a power plant had once been. And they hadn’t even trusted, or I should say, Batman hadn’t trusted me enough to go alone. He sent Atom, as well as the new Robin with me, no doubt to keep an eye on the retired villainess.

The old powerplant was dusted with snow on the outside and spider webs in the inside. The old machines had long been retired, yet the cold cement floor carried footprints and dark stains that looked new. I bent down and ran my finger over a dark stain that still had a bit of a liquid substance on it.

“What did you find?” Atom asked. I held my hand out to him.

“Recognize it?” I wondered.

“Looks like oil,” Robin chimed in.

“So why is there fresh oil in a power plant that has been abandoned and retired for years?” I countered.

“Some kids wanting to see a haunted place?” Atom shrugged.

I shook my head. “Maybe you should call the Watchtower. I don’t have a good feeling about this.”

“Think that it may be something else, Jinxy?” Robin grinned, hos arms folding over his chest.

“Don’t know,” I paused, “I just wouldn’t put it past the Brotherhood to pick a spot like this for a base.”

Atom nodded and walked a bit toward the entrance. The energy in my hands flickered, turning the substance a neon green. From down the hall, I heard a click. My eyes shot up to see a small part of a dark shadow duck into one of the rooms. Instantly, I was on my feet and running toward it.  I three the door open, revealing an empty room with a control panel, a three seated couch and a desk chair. In front of the couch was a small wooden table with a silver can on top. Carefully, I walked over and picked it up. I hadn’t even heard the beeping until Robin puled me out and slammed me against the wall, his body shielding mine from an explosion. We both breathed out. I could feel his arms on either side of me. When I looked up, his eyed were pinned on mine. My heart skipped, and my palms sparked, warning him to step away. with a smirk, he looked at my hands, then back at my eyes.

“Be careful,” he told me.

“Someone went into that room,” I told him, pushing him away.

“Could have been a ghost,” he chuckled. I looked up to him with raised brows and folded arms.

“Really?” I asked. when he smirked, I rolled my eyes and walked back into the room, carefully looking for more traps. “This place isn’t haunted, and it’s not abandoned. I know what I saw. The Hive or Brotherhood have to be here somewhere.”

“Batman has sent back-up,” Atom announced, walking through the threshold of the door.

It didn’t take long for the back-up to arrive and for us to find a few of the Brotherhood hiding out. Batman had praised Atom and Robin, but when he got to me, he said nothing. I held my tongue until I knew I was alone. Even as my old friends and family were being escorted out and sent to their cells, shouting vulgar things at me and cursing me, I stayed quiet. My jaw was tight, and my hands hurt from how long I had them balled up into fists. With each curse my old friends had sent to me, my chest felt like it was being pierced. With every word Batman hadn’t said, there was a hole left empty. Not that I really needed his forced ‘congratulations,’ I didn’t need any of it.

I could feel the energy building up in me, begging to be let out.

“Hey girl, we’re all going to a movie later, you wanna join?” Bee’s voice came as we watched one plane take off with the Brotherhood members.

“No, I’m good,” I told her, my eyes not wanting to leave the metal plane. “I think I need some time alone,” I added.

“Okay,” she said softly, “Just call if you need anything.” I only nodded. She walked away.

My fingers sparked with wanting. Patiently, I balled my hand up again and closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. I had to find somewhere to go, somewhere I could be alone. My eyes darted around the area, stopping on two snow bikes. I smirked.

“Hey horn boy,” I called out to Herald. I could see him sigh as he turned to face me. He did not like that name. “Where’d you get that bike?” I asked, pointing to the snow mobile.

“Uh, it’s the Leagues,” he answered.

“Perfect,” I smiled, hopping on.

“Hey, what are you doing?” he asked defensively.

“I need to get some energy out,” I answered, revving the engine up. “Don’t worry, I’ll return it with no damage. Now,” I paused. A smirk grew on my lips. “Bee is going to the movies. Why don’t you ask to join her.” He jerked back slightly. I laughed as color flooded his cheeks. “Go get her, Romeo,” I laughed before speeding off. I could already hear Bee’s lecture as she chewed me out for even offering it. But would she really? I mean, she and Herald had been dancing around each other and it was killing everyone.

I smiled as the cool wind nipped my cheeks. I gulped as I felt the energy pulsing through my fingers once again, ready to burst. ‘No, no, no not now,’ I thought to myself. I need to an area where I wouldn’t cause a major avalanche.

“Hey, Jinx, slow down,” I heard a voice shout. I groaned and closed my eyes. ‘No, no, no, this is not happening,’ I groaned. Why is he following me?

“Try to catch up, Bird boy,” I shouted back before speeding. Snow flew behind me as I twisted and turned through the trees. Un-surprisingly, when I found a perfect open area and stopped, he was right behind me. “Is there anything you need, Bird boy?” I grumbled.

“Yeah, I wanna talk.”

“There’s nothing to talk about. I just need to get some energy out and I’ll be good as new. Besides, I told Herald that I would take care of the snow mobile.”

He sighed. “Why’d you run?” he pressed.

“Because I need to get energy out and being near all of you, high in the mountains, I could have easily caused a major avalanche,” I snapped.

“So, it has nothing to do with how Batman treated you? Or your old team for that matter?” he pressed again.  

My jaw tightened. “Look, you don’t know me, and I don’t know you, so let me ask you, why do you care?”

“Because I need to know if you’re going to hurt people or turn on us like you did on the Hive.” My anger dropped, and I felt like I had been stabbed in the chest, the worst of any of the insults I had heard from either side.

“Well you don’t have to worry about that,” I softly replied, my head shaking as my throat shook.

“Jinx, that’s not what I-”

“Yes, it is,” I sapped. “You and everyone else are worried that I’m going to change sides again and that I’m going to tell everyone’s secrets. “That I’m going to tell everyone that Batman is the rich and famous playboy, Bruce Wayne, and that you’re one of his adopted sons, Jason Todd.” His jaw dropped. “That’s right, I know who everyone is in the League. Does that make you more afraid of me? Does that make you hate me like you hate Killer Croc killing your acrobatic parents? Do you want to lock me up like everyone else does?” I paused when he wouldn’t answer. “Believe me, Bird Boy, if I wanted any of you dead, I wouldn’t have run. I would have stayed on that mountain with all of you and let my powers go like they wanted. They would hit the energy plant and it would have exploded and killed all of us, not to mention any civilians that might have been hiking or down at the ski lodge. But I didn’t. I stayed in control enough to grab the bike and go. But do any of you care? No! All any of you care about is whether or not I’m going to turn on the team.”

He sighed. “Look, I know that Batman can be an ass, and may not trust you right now, but a lot of the League does. That’s why you got in. I trust you. that’s why I saved your ass in the Energy plant.”

“I don’t care that you saved me,” I spat out. His eyes widened. “Maybe it would have been better if you had let the explosion take me. It would have put a lot of people out of danger.”

“Why? Because you can’t fully control your powers right now?” he shouted. “Who cares? You and I are in the same boat.” He paused and took in a deep breath. “People are scared of me. Batman thinks that I have anger management issues and so does Grayson. And maybe they’re right. I know that I can’t always control myself. Everyone loses themselves once in a while.”

“And yet, everyone trusts you because you were never a villain. I was, and every day I regret it. But what the sad thing is, is that I never had a choice. I was born, left in a park to die, and brought up by the man who found me, Brother Blood. He taught me how to cause destruction, and when the time came, he put me into the HIVE Academy. And even there, everyone was afraid of me. No one wanted to be friends with the Head Master’s prodigy. That is, until a guy named Victor Stone came to the HIVE. He used me to get information about the HIVE, aided by another student, Bumble Bee. Come to find out that both are secretly Titans,” I laughed, my shoulders raising. “I fell for a freaking Titan, and he used me and let me like I was a piece of trash.”

“I’ve heard the story,” he nodded. “Though, the way I heard it, Cyborg infiltrated the villainous school and got information from a gullible witch.” My hands tightened, and my teeth gritted together. My throat shook, and my eyes turned away. “What you went through was crap, we all know that, but you can prove them wrong.”

“I have been,” I shouted, the energy flaring from my fingertips. “But nothing is enough, is it?” I took in a shaking breath and turned my head to the sky. With all of the anger that I had, I threw my hands up and released my energy. My eyes opened wide as they his three disks that had been thrown up moments before. I quickly turned toward him once more. he only shrugged.

“Thought it would look cooler,” he grinned. “Now that that’s done, why don’t we head back and give our full report. And maybe we can talk more over dinner,” he smirked. My jaw dropped as he winked and got onto his own Snow mobile. I let out a laugh, my cheeks tingling. I couldn’t help but smile as he watched me with his signature smirk.

“Fine,” I responded, “But you’re paying,” I grinned back, hopping on mu own snow mobile. I could hear his laugh as I sped away, back to the Energy plant, where we knew Atom had been waiting.