Beeps and hisses filled the small hospital room that Chloe now sat in right beside the prone figure on the bed, watching him breathe with the aid of a machine. They droned on painfully in her ears and she just wished it would stop. Just wished he would be able to breathe normally. Just wished he would wake up alive and well.
Gazing at the man. No. Not a man. The Devil himself. She swallows thickly remembering whom what he truly is. Learning the truth after witnessing his face that day as he stood over Pierce's body shook her to the very core.
She wasn't proud of how she reacted now. Telling him to stay away from her and Trixie, to get out of their lives, and just running out.
It took Linda and many sessions to get her to finally see that Lucifer was just... Lucifer. Her partner in this huge, cruel world.
Sitting by his side, all she could see was her partner. Her partner that she had left in fear of his world. Of what his world could do to her daughter and her. Not the Devil. Not the monster he proclaimed himself to be.
If only she hadn’t pushed him away with the walls she had painstakingly built up all over again to protect her heart. If only she had let him in. If only then he wouldn’t be here.
Near death all because he took a bullet that was meant for her.
Right in his scarred and battered heart.
He could have just left her to die from the bullet. She deserved it. But unlike her ex-fiancee and former lieutenant who turns out to be the Sinnerman himself, Lucifer had been kind, patient and simply waiting for her to let him in when Marcus (no Cain) would have just barged right through without any thought for her.
She might have shot the bullet herself with how she had treated him. Tears flooded her eyes and she takes his hand, gripping it tight hoping he would pull through.
“Lucifer… please. Stay.” She chokes out.
Only silence except the sounds of equipment keeping him alive answered her.
Lucifer gazed down from his penthouse, his drink earlier now having been forgotten at the bar. Dark circles rimmed below his eyes and his hair now a greasy mess, his tattered shirt and suit now long gone letting his bleeding wings still hanging limply across the penthouse.
She was gone. After everything, after seeing his Devil face that had returned. She had just fell on her knees and he wanted to die when he saw the fear in her eyes.
It was too much.
So like the coward he was, he ran hoping he hadn’t broke her completely.
The thrill of his phone rang broke the atmosphere and he went back to the bar. He had no intention of picking it up but when he saw the Detective’s contact ringing, he wasted no time in answering it.
“Hello, Detective.” He greets her, no longer with the charm he usually exuded. He was just bracing himself for the news that she had requested a partner change and of his firing from the department.
He was surprised when the Detective told him to come in the next day.
“Business as usual, you know.” She said but the way she said it made his heart drop. It no longer exuded warmth but just sheer coldness like the frigid winters in the Ninth Circle.
“I understand. I’ll be in tomorrow.” He says and hangs up.
He should be overjoyed that she still wanted him back. Yet, it seemed from how she addressed him on the phone that she may no longer trust him nor look at him in the same way ever again. How could she? He was a monster period.
He should have told her that he would stop coming to the precinct and that he wishes to resign. Yet, his stupid desire to be with her no matter how torturous it was made him accept her offer. Did he truly like being tortured? Perhaps not.
But he knows he did deserve it.
Oh Father did he deserve it.
It all ended in screams and gunshots and madness. Blood and bullets whizzing in her ears. A weight on her. Lucifer.
Lucifer on her, bleeding out. A hole in his chest where his heart is. The bullet having ripped through major vessels and the heart itself embedding deep in it.
Her hand on his chest, feeling the weak throbs of his heart. Begging him to stay.
“Lucifer stay! Hold on!” She screams, her tears falling on his pale face.
And yet, he still smiled. A look of content on his face. “You’re safe now.” He whispers and his eyes finally close shut, shielding away those dark brown orbs she so loved. Feeling his chest stop rising and his heart stop beating.
All she could think then was that Lucifer was gone. And how lonely it had felt, and the guilt for pushing him away when all he had done was be there for her. The colors of the world just seemed to turn grey so fast in the blink of an eye. There were no colors in her world if he was gone from her life.
Loneliness and grief crushed her, an agonizing pain that ran from her heart through her veins.
She had screamed and fought in the arms of the officers that tried to hold her back as the paramedics quickly came working on him.
She remembered it all.
His shirt that he so loved and would whine if it were ruined cut open, leads pasted over his pale chest, the crushing, recognizable long beep of a flatline from the heart monitor, gloved hands pumping his bloody chest to get his heart beating again as his ribs cracked under the pressure, the whine of the defibrillator as the paddles were placed and how his body shook from the jolt of electricity and the whole cycle repeats.
All to get him back.
She didn’t even realize that she had made the speedy drive to the hospital. All she remembered was standing in the hallway outside where Lucifer had been wheeled in begging for news.
“We’ll have to perform an emergency thoracotomy!” She had heard the doctor shout past those huge doors in the emergency ward that flicked open and close as nurses came in and out.
Her stomach had plummeted to the floor when she had heard it.
Seeing glimpses of the doctor cutting open his chest, a hand shoved in all to pump the still heart in his chest. She wanted to vomit. It was just so wrong seeing a person’s hand shoved inside Lucifer’s chest. Everything was so terribly wrong. Lucifer shouldn’t be in there fighting for his life.
For the first time, she prayed. She prayed to the Almighty, to Lucifer’s father and his siblings to please let him stay.
“I need him.” She whispers under her breath.
And she waited. And waited.
And how hard her hopes had soared and then crashed when the doctor came out to tell her that he was alive but in a coma.
Days flew by but to Chloe it was an eternity. Day in and day out, all she could think in her lonely mind was Lucifer. His handsome face, his bright grins and soft smiles. Dreaming about him only to lose him in those same dreams.
Tonight, it had been worse. Trixie was staying with Dan whom graciously took her to stay for the meantime. “But why Daddy?” Her precious monkey had asked, worried for her mother.
“Your mother needs some time alone, monkey. She’s worried sick for Lucifer.” Dan had told her. Chloe was grateful that Dan had taken her. She didn’t want her little monkey to witness her like this.
She wishes she could take it all back. She loves him, still does, oh she truly does. But with Lucifer inching closer to death every day, she didn’t know how she could show him that she did. Or if she even had the chance to. In her bedroom, she cries endlessly wishing this nightmare would end and that Lucifer would wake up.
He’s all she could dream about and all she could wish for. And some nights, she imagines him there, right behind her, his long arms wrapped around her in a tight hug and whispering soft comforting words in her ears.
She remembers the day his eyes opened. The day his heart had learned to beat steadily once again. The scar that should have been there gone as if he had never had a bullet penetrate his heart.
“I love you.” She tells him.
His eyes had widened in shock. “I’m dreaming aren’t I?” He whispers thinking he was back in Hell, that this beautiful dream would end.
She shook her head and kisses him.
Proving to him he was here. Alive. And with Chloe.
And suddenly that crushing loneliness started to leave them both.
They had each other now. No more dreams, no more fears.