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You’re not my daddy

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“I have the best idea ever.” Garcia announced happily.

 

The team, including Damian, were all sitting in Rossi’s living room right now with at least ten bottles of alcohol surrounding them and no one was truly sober.

 

“What is it?” Reid asked excitedly.

 

“We’re going to play Never have I ever. That’s probably the only way I can get dirt on you two and everyone else included.”

 

“Is it really necessary?” Morgan sighed.

 

“Yes and everyone has to play and answer every question truthfully. I’ll find out if someone lies.”

 

“I don’t doubt that.” Prentiss said snickering while Garcia prepared shots for everyone and got new bottles out of the kitchen for refill.

 

“Okay, I’ll start. We’ll start harmless and it will get dirtier and dirtier with every thing said.” She said smirking after she gave everyone their shots and sat down again.

 

“Never have I ever lied about my age.” Garcia said and unsurprisingly Reid was the only one who took a shot.

 

“I already feel like this game is biased.” He said sighing.

 

“It’s not, but it will be.” Garcia told him laughing and Reid sighed heavily.

 

“Never have I ever fell in public.” Hotch said and everyone expect himself and Damian took a shot.

 

“Looks like we’re the only one who are able to walk.” Damian said laughing and Reid slapped the back of his head.

 

“Ouch.” He said melodramatically and held his hand over his heart.

 

“Shots fired!” JJ screamed grinning and the team burst out laughing.

 

“Not now but they will be.” Reid told everyone grinning which made the team laugh even harder expect Damian who looked warily at him.

 

“You would never shoot me.”

 

“Are you sure about that?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Well, then there’s nothing to be afraid of, huh?” Reid asked, grinning manically and Morgan put a stop to the conversation between them.

 

“Never have I ever snuck out of the house.” He said and everyone took a shot.

 

“You snuck out of the house?” Rossi asked his son with a raised eyebrow who in reply only smiled innocently at him.

 

“Never have I ever hurt someone on purpose.” JJ said and Damian, Hotch, Rossi and Reid took a drink.

 

“On purpose?” Garcia asked warily.

 

“Yes and I absolutely feel no regret about it.” Dam replied.

 

“I can guess by you three but Spence?” JJ asked confused.

 

“The guy I beat up and was arrested because of.” He replied shrugging and the game continued.

 

“Never have I ever given someone a fake number.” Penelope said and everyone took a shot.

 

“I would be crazy to give out my real number. God knows what happened the last time I gave someone my number.” Reid said.

 

“Yeah, I don’t need a reminder of it.” Damian told him.

 

“Since you two aren’t going to talk about it, I’ll leave it. For now.” Garcia said.

 

“Never have I ever been mugged.” Prentiss said and Reid took a drink.

 

“What? When?” Morgan asked angrily with a hint of a protective tone visible in his voice.

 

“I’m David Rossi’s son, Morgan. It was bound to happen sooner or later. Happened about 5 or 6 months ago now. The only thing the guy got was a bullet wound to the shoulder, thanks to Dam.”

 

“You shot him?” David asked Damian who nodded.

 

“Good. Then he got what he deserved.” Rossi said and Reid shook his head at that.

 

“We’ll talk about this another time, alright?” He asked and everyone nodded. Now really wasn’t the right time to talk about it.

 

“Never have I ever had a really awkward boner in public.” JJ said and Damian took a shot.

 

“Do tell.” Garcia replied grinning.

 

“Never.” Dam said while shaking his head and Reid started grinning.

 

“Don’t you dare.” Damian said threateningly when he caught Spencer’s expression.

 

“I didn’t do anything.” He replied innocently and Dam snorted.

 

“Sure you didn’t.”

 

“I’ll tell you another time.” Reid whispered into Garcia’s ear and she nodded enthusiastically.

 

“I’ll get you back for this.” Damian said smirking and Spencer only shrugged.

 

“Never have I ever been a sugar baby.” Damian said and eye rolling Reid took a shot.

 

“You’re trying to get me drunk, aren’t you?” He asked sighing.

 

“I am.” Damian replied grinning.

 

“What a joy.” Spencer replied dryly, glaring at Damian.

 

“Never have I ever thrown up on someone.” Garcia said and Reid, Rossi and Prentiss took a shot.

 

“For my defense, it was the first time I got home drunk and he deserved to be thrown up on.” Emily said smirking and the others started laughing.

 

“Okay Reid is obvious, but Rossi?” Morgan asked confused.

 

“On my brother after we drank a tequila bottle together.” He explained and Spencer started laughing.

 

“He told me about it.”

 

“I had a hunch that he would tell you about things like that.” His father replied, shaking his head.

 

“That’s what you call karma, dad.” Reid said laughing and his dad ignored it.

 

“Never have I ever peed my pants in public.” Derek said and Spencer took a shot.

 

“Seriously?” Garcia asked grinning.

 

“Yeah, I was 6.” Reid said and his father shook his head at it.

 

“You were six and had a gun pointed at you. Everyone here would have peed their pants at that.” David said and almost everyone looked shocked at him.

 

“You had a gun pointed at you when you were six?” JJ asked poleaxed.

 

“Yeah.” He replied shrugging.

 

“Wasn’t that during the McCarthy case?” Hotch asked and Reid nodded in confirmation.

 

“You should be more worried if you hadn’t peed your pants then. Dave is still thinking about the case and how it could have turned out all the time and believe me, you peeing your pants is something that no one thinks about when they’re hearing about the case.” The unit chief told him.

 

“Yeah, I know but I did pee my pants and it was in public.”

 

“What kind of case was it?” Prentiss asked curiously.

 

“I met David two years later but from what I heard it originally was a case about a serial killer who was a sexual sadist and broke out of jail about four years after Dave arrested him. Needless to say that he was out for revenge.” Hotch said and the team looked frowning at Rossi.

 

“He kidnapped me after he broke out. Spencer was meant to spent the night at Carolyn’s but she was sick so he stayed here for the night. About two am he started screaming bloody murder and when I got to his room, McCarthy stood there and held a knife to his neck. Even if I would have had my gun on me, I never would have taken the shot. So, he kidnapped both of us and the rest is a story for another day.” Rossi said Garcia took it as clue to continue the game.

 

“Never have I ever had a seizure.” She said and Reid took a shot again.

 

“When?” His father asked him shocked.

 

“After I ended up in the ED because of Stephen.” His son replied and Damian started the next round when he noticed how uncomfortable his boyfriend seemed to be.

 

“Never have I ever cross dressed.” Damian said smirking and Reid took a shot, eye rolling.

 

“That’s low, Dam.”

 

“Oh, I know.” Damian said.

 

“Do tell, junior g-man.” Garcia said excitedly.

 

“I was undercover.”

 

“You were undercover?” Morgan asked confused.

 

“Yeah, three times.”

 

“Why do I not know about this?” David asked with narrowed eyes.

 

“Because it’s not necessary for you to know about it.” Spencer replied.

 

“He wasn’t hurt and Strauss didn’t want him to talk about it. But I was under with him two times and the other time I was in contact with him the whole time and everyone knew that if something went wrong to get him out first.” Damian explained.

 

“What were your covers?” JJ asked.

 

“Stripper, escort woman and alone in a human trafficking ring.”

 

“We’ll talk about this later.” Rossi said and Reid nodded.

 

“Never have I ever had a threesome.” JJ said and everyone expect Hotch and her took a shot.

 

“Why doesn’t that surprise me?” Hotch asked, shaking his head.

 

“You know us to well.” Morgan replied shrugging.

 

“Never have I ever had sex with a friend’s family member.” Garcia said and Reid and his boyfriend took a shot.

 

“Sean, right?” Hotch asked sighing and they both nodded.

 

“I really need to have a talk with him.” Aaron muttered unter his breath and Prentiss started the next round.

 

“Never have I ever had sex while others watched.” She said and Reid and Damian took a shot.

 

“You know, I’m starting to feel light headed.” Spencer whispered in his sugar daddy’s ear and he started smirking.

 

“Never have I ever participated in BDSM.” Morgan said and the two took a shot again.

 

“Take the shot.” Reid said grinning and everyone looked confused, expect one person.

 

“How did you know?” Emily asked after she took her shot.

 

“I’m a profiler and it’s not that hard to see who participated and who didn’t.”

 

“What? How?” Morgan asked confused.

 

“People who participate in BDSM are more extroverted, open for new experiences, more conscientious, less stressed and more secure in relationships.” Reid explained, his speech slightly slurred.

 

“Since you know that, are you able to tell me if she was top or bottom?” Morgan asked smirking and Prentiss rolled her eyes.

 

“When I first met her, I thought she belonged to the 16% of women who are Switches but after I got to know her and snapped at her, I knew that she belonged to the 8% of women who are dominant. You know, if I would be het, I would totally submit to you.”

 

“Thanks, I guess.” Prentiss said laughing.

 

“You are unbelievable, pup.“ Damian said grinning and Derek started the next round.

 

“Never have I ever had sex with the opposite gender.” Morgan said and everyone took a drink.

 

“You had sex with women?” Prentiss asked baffled.

 

“Yeah but only one time and it was more a ‘we’re alive’ kind of sex than anything else.”

 

“With who?” Damian asked curiously.

 

“Elle.”

 

“Who’s that?” Prentiss asked confused.

 

“Elle Greenaway. You took her position after she left the FBI.”

 

“She should have left much sooner.” Morgan muttered.

 

“Wasn’t she the one who killed some guy in cold blood?” Dam asked.

 

“Yeah. It was ruled as self defense but we all know that she didn’t shoot in self defense. Being shot a few months prior just changed her so much that she killed in cold blood.” Reid explained.

 

“And you had sex with her?” Damian asked, a tiny smirk forming on his lips.

 

“Yes. After she was out of the hospital, I spent a night at hers and we had sex.”

 

“You know, this isn’t the first time you had sex with an Unsub.”

 

“I know. There’s no need to remind me of it.” Reid told him, grimacing.

 

“You had sex with Unsub’s?” Morgan asked him incredulously.

 

“Yes but I didn’t know it when I had sex with them. It was just meant to be an one night stand. I didn’t think that I would see them again. Especially not during an arrest.”

 

“You have something that attracts Unsub’s.” Damian said.

 

“I know.” He sighed.

 

“You should be happy to have such an amazing boyfriend who’s willing to kill for you.”

 

“Kill?” Garcia asked warily.

 

“We got it ruled as self defense. To be honest, it was killing in cold blood but we got it ruled as self defense, so everything is dandy.” Reid replied.

 

“How often?” JJ asked.

 

“Officially two times, unofficially three times. We both know that it’s wrong to not report it but this would have resulted in much more than just a simple questioning.” He replied again.

 

“Who was the third one?” Garcia asked.

 

“Someone who worked closely with my so called father. The last thing I need is to have him come after me or Spencer again.”

 

“Okay that’s understandable, but what do you have on you that makes people willing to kill?” Garcia asked confused.

 

“I have no idea but there definitely is something that makes everyone’s protective instinct go off when they’re around me.”

 

“Just how many people killed to protect you?” JJ asked.

 

“Well, obviously Damian. Dad killed two to protect me. Mum killed one who tried to kidnap me. Aaron killed once to protect me. Sean killed a guy to protect me. Gideon killed someone as well as Max Ryan and you didn’t hear this from me but Strauss shot someone right between the eyes when the guy tried to kidnap me. She just shot without even thinking about it.”

 

“That’s a lot.” Morgan said warily.

 

“Yeah, I know. I feel bad about all their deaths but in the end they were Unsub’s who didn’t feel bad about the idea of kidnapping a eleven year old or a eight year old. It helps somehow to know what would have happened if they wouldn’t have killed them.“

 

“Enough with the depressing talk. We’ll talk about this another time but this right now is a drink game which is meant to be funny and make people laugh.” Penelope told them all as sternly as she could while being drunk.

 

“Right, who’s next?” Reid asked and JJ started the round.

 

“Never have I ever sent a message to the wrong person.” She said and everyone expect Garcia and herself took a drink.

 

“I’m glad that no one here speaks Norwegian.” Reid slurred, grinning.

 

“So the message last week was meant for Damian?” JJ asked.

 

“Yeah and you should be glad that you didn’t understand it. Would have destroyed the whole image you have of me.”

 

“You really shouldn’t talk about this, you know.” Damian muttered in his ear.

 

“Why not?” Reid whined, looking at his boyfriend with puppy eyes and a little adorable pout on his lips.

 

“You’re drunk. You’ll say something you will regret later on and I don’t think your dad wants to hear about it.”

 

“Right, no informations about my sex life for him.” He said as a reminder for himself and Garcia started grinning.

 

“You promised me informations about your sex life.” She told him.

 

“When?” Reid slurred in a confused voice.

 

“Shortly before you went into witsec. About five days ago.”

 

“Oh, yeah. Forgot about that.”

 

“So? I want informations.”

 

“When?“

 

“Now. How is it going?” Penelope asked grinning and Reid looked baffled at her for a moment before answering, “It’s not going. It doesn’t have legs.” which made the rest of the team break out in laughter, including Garcia.

 

“What?” Spencer asked confused, feeling the effect the alcohol had on his mind more and more with every passing second.

 

“Nothing, baby.” Damian told him snickering. Reid glared at him for a moment before the glare turned into a pout and he just shrugged and leaned into his sugar daddy. Damian welcomed him with open arms and laid his arms around his sugar baby’s waist, pulling him closer to himself.

 

“Who goes next?” Reid slurred and Morgan started.

 

“Never have I ever lied to my parents about where I was going.” He said and everyone expect him took a drink.

 

“You lied?” Rossi asked his son with an amused expression.

 

“Of course I did. You would have locked me in my room otherwise.” Reid answered grinning and everyone looked curiously at him.

 

“Is that so?” David asked.

 

“Where did you go?” Damian asked loudly enough for everyone to hear.

 

“Well, most of the time I met Sean, Ethan or Mike and went somewhere with them and other times I went into clubs. It’s so easy to get inside clubs when you’re David Rossi’s son.”

 

“Which club?” Dam asked.

 

“Sam’s or Jackson’s.”

 

“How old were you?” His sugar daddy asked with narrowed eyes.

 

“Sixteen.” Reid offered innocently and Damian looked incredulously at him.

 

“What kind of clubs are that?” Morgan asked.

 

“Clubs where minors shouldn’t be.” Damian answered.

 

“Did they know you were sixteen?“ Prentiss asked.

 

“Yeah but it didn’t matter. Most of the time I was just there to get drunk and even though I shouldn’t have been in there, those were the best clubs for me to be.”

 

“Are you sure about that?”

 

“No matter who worked the evenings, they always looked out for me. In other clubs, no one would have noticed the drugs that were slipped into my drinks. In Sam’s or Jackson’s, the bartender immediately called the police and got me another drink.”

 

“Doesn’t change the fact that you were a minor.” Hotch said and Garcia rolled her eyes at it.

 

“He had fun and that’s all that matters.” She said and looked at JJ to start the next round.

 

“Never have I ever been stuck in a washing machine.” She said and Reid took a drink.

 

“You were stuck in a washing machine?” Morgan asked laughing.

 

“Yeah. Alessandro was a jealous butthead after I was born.”

 

“Who’s that?” Prentiss asked.

 

“Brother.”

 

“Since when do you have siblings?” JJ asked confused, looking at Rossi with a raised eyebrow.

 

“Don’t look at me like that. If Alessandro would also be my son, I would have killed myself a long time ago.” Rossi said.

 

“Thanks dad.” Reid said dryly.

 

“No problem, son.”

 

“If he’s not your brother, what is he then?” Prentiss asked.

 

“Alessandro is his cousin and together they are your worst nightmare.”

 

“We aren’t that bad.” Reid protested after his father said it.

 

“You two set the house on fire.”

 

“For the last time, I did not set the house on fire.” He stressed.

 

“You both set the house on fire.”

 

“He did it, I had nothing to do with it.”

 

“How about you two discuss this another time? I still need to get dirt on Spencer and Damian.” Garcia said and both nodded.

 

“Never have I ever slept with a teacher.” She said and Reid raised his hand.

 

“You don’t need to raise your hand, boy wonder.” Penelope said snickering.

 

“But I have a question.” He whined.

 

“What is it?” Damian asked.

 

“Does a professor count as a teacher?” He asked and his father looked shocked at him.

 

“You were underage.” Hotch said with narrowed eyes and at the same time Garcia answered “yes”.

 

Reid took a shot and almost everyone in the room looked shocked at him.

 

“Does Alessandro know about this?” Damian asked him.

 

“No, he would have killed him.”

 

“How old were you?” Morgan asked angrily.

 

“Sixteen. It was just a one night stand.”

 

“Doesn’t change the fact that you were underage.”

 

“I know but it was just a one night stand and he wasn’t the first adult I had sex with while being underage.” Reid said which got the interest of everyone.

 

“What?” Damian asked.

 

“I told you about it.”

 

“You didn’t say that you were a minor.”

 

“But I told you about it.”

 

“Yeah but not that you were underage.”

 

“Can we not discuss this now? This is giving me a headache.”

 

“We’ll talk about this tomorrow.” Rossi said sternly and Reid nodded.

 

“Never have I ever been walked in on.” Rossi said and everyone expect Garcia took a drink.

 

“Oh do tell, my fine fury friends.”

 

“Well, what do you want to know?” Morgan asked smirking.

 

“Who walked in and with who you had sex at the moment.”

 

“With my high school girlfriend and Desiree walked in.”

 

“An old friend and my mother.” Prentiss said.

 

“My first boyfriend and both of my parents.” JJ said.

 

“One night stand and Spencer walked in.” Rossi said.

 

“Ex boyfriends and one night stands. Dad, Aaron, Mum, Alessandro and Sean walked in.”

 

“With Haley and Spencer walked in.” Hotch said which made everyone laugh, expect himself and Reid.

 

“I couldn’t look at you or Haley for almost three months.”

 

“I know, no need to remind me of it.”

 

“Alessandro walked in on me and Sean.” Damian said laughing.

 

“That’s where you got the broken nose from?” Reid asked, sighing.

 

“Yeah, he thought I was cheating on you.”

 

“Well, let him think whatever the hell he wants to think.” He said and Hotch started the next round.

 

“Never have I ever had sex in my parents’ bed.” He said and only Spencer took a drink.

 

“Remind me to get a new bed tomorrow.” Rossi said to Hotch and everyone burst out laughing.

 

“Never have I ever had sex in a public place.” JJ said and Morgan, Damian, Spencer, Garcia and David took a shot.

 

“Well, everyone else is missing out on something.” Penelope said laughing and Reid nodded in agreement.

 

“Never have I ever slept with a person as old as my parents.” JJ said and Reid was the only one who took a drink.

 

“Why am I not surprised about it?” Rossi muttered under his breath.

 

“You know me.” Reid replied, laughing.

 

“Never have I ever been dominant when having sex.” Garcia said and everyone including Reid took a drink which made Damian burst out into laughter.

 

“Shut the fuck up.” Reid told him grinning and Damian continued to laugh.

 

“I-I, y-you-“ Reid’s sugar daddy started but couldn’t get the words out between his laughter.

 

“Despite what you’re thinking, I am capable of being the top during sex.” Reid replied eye rolling.

 

“Why aren’t you then?” Morgan asked confused.

 

“Why should I? It’s more fun to be on the receiving end and Damian enjoys being on top of me.” Spencer replied and his father groaned.

 

“I don’t want to hear about this.” He said and Reid nodded.

 

“Never have I ever had sex in the shower.” Prentiss said and everyone took a shot.

 

“Never have I ever measured my penis.” Reid said and Damian took a shot which made everyone look at him confused and amused.

 

“You did what?” Reid asked baffled.

 

“It was because of a bet. Which I won, by the way.” His sugar daddy replied, smirking.

 

“Tell me about it when we’re at home.” Spencer whispered in his ear and he nodded in agreement.

 

“Never have I ever damaged furniture during sex.” JJ said and Reid took a shot.

 

“It was an accident.” Was the only thing he said and the game continued, even though everyone wanted to hear more about it.

 

“Never have I ever called in sick because I was hungover.” Hotch said and Morgan and Reid took a shot.

 

“Sometimes it’s just hard to get out of bed with a hangover.” Spencer offered as an explanation after seeing Hotch’s expression.

 

“Never have I ever gone on a date with someone else while being in a relationship.” Derek quickly said to change the topic and Reid took a drink.

 

“Isn’t that cheating?” JJ asked.

 

“No. I told Dam about it everytime and when he said no, I didn’t go but most of the time he says yes.”

 

“I only say yes when it’s Sean or someone else I know.” Damian explained.

 

“Looks like you truly trust him.”

 

“Of course I trust him. I know that he loves me and why should I stop him from going on dates and having one night stands? As long as the other person is someone I know or is okay with me being there, I don’t care about it. At the end of the day it’s his life.” Damian explained and Spencer slumped into his side.

 

“You okay?” Garcia asked concerned.

 

“Yeah, just feeling a little dizzy.”

 

“I think you had enough for today.” Damian said amused.

 

“I have enough when I throw up on you.”

 

“Don’t you dare.”

 

“Got a problem with puke?”

 

“Yes.” Damian said, shoving Spencer away from him.

 

“I feel really loved right now.” Reid complained and sat down between his father and Hotch.

 

“I know.” Damian said dryly and Garcia sat down next to him.

 

“Do you think he’s drunk enough for me to ask things I always wanted to know?” She whispered into his ear and after Damian looked Spencer up and down, he nodded.

 

“Definitely drunk enough. But ask the questions without him having to take shots. I still need to get him home somehow.”

 

“It doesn’t look like he’s planning to go anywhere.” Penelope said, glance still on Spencer who now half laid on Hotch and his father, his legs hanging from the couch.

 

“At least he can stay here overnight.” Damian said shrugging.

 

“When you don’t plan on having sex with him, you can also spend the night here. His bed is big enough.”

 

“Since we cleared that, are you up for a few questions Spencer?” Garcia asked.

 

“Sure.” He slurred slightly, making no intention to move from his position.

 

“Did you have any kind of teenage rebellion?” She asked grinning and his father sighed.

 

“Did you have to bring that up?”

 

“It can’t be that bad.” Morgan said.

 

“He called me David for almost 6 months.”

 

“Uhh, what did you do to deserve that? Even I never did that to my mother.” Prentiss said snickering.

 

“I made a mistake and that’s the price I paid for it. He still reminds me every month on the thirteenth how long ago I made that mistake.”

 

“Why did he start calling you dad again?” JJ asked.

 

“After he called my brother ‘dad’, I decided that it was enough. I apologized and even though he never truly forgave me, he accepted it and everything turned back to normal.”

 

“I have a really hard time picturing Spence being angry at you for such a long time.” JJ told him, deep in thoughts.

 

“If I hadn’t apologized, he would still be angry about it.”

 

“Understandably angry.”

 

“Alright, what exactly did you do?” Morgan asked.

 

“I came out to everyone expect dad when I was fourteen. It was at Christmas and dad was on a case so mum and I were there with the rest of the family and I blurted out that I’m gay. Almost everyone was accepting and mum wasn’t even surprised. After dinner, Uncle Phil called dad to tell him about it and the only thing he said was ‘it’s just a phase’. Even though dad apologized, he refused to accept that I’m gay until he walked in on me and Stephen making out.”

 

“For my defense, you were fourteen and it was at a really bad time.”

 

“I told mum when I was two that I won’t have a girlfriend. It was obvious that I’m gay.”

 

“You only said that because Carolyn made you promise her that you won’t have a girlfriend. She didn’t want to lose her little boy to some girl.”

 

“That’s the part you heard. After you were gone I told her that I would rather have a boyfriend than girlfriend. Mum wasn’t even shocked.”

 

“How did you even know that you were gay?” Prentiss asked.

 

“Despite what all of you are thinking, I had my first kiss when I was thirteen. It was with a girl and it was disgusting. I actually threw up that night. On my fourteenth birthday, I kissed a boy and it wasn’t disgusting. It just felt right. I didn’t really plan to come out at fourteen but Alessandro saw that I kissed a boy and after he got over his protectiveness, he told me that I have to come out as soon as possible. At first it didn’t make any sense for me but after I had my first boyfriend, I was glad that I came out.”

 

“What’s the name of your first boyfriend?” Penelope asked innocently.

 

“I may be drunk, but I’m not going to tell you his name. I’m still smart enough to know not to do it.”

 

“The alcohol probably sliced your IQ in half so you can’t be that smart.” Prentiss said.

 

“Which would make me have an IQ of 93.5.”

 

“Even drunk you’re an smartass.”

 

“I’m always an smartass.”

 

“Not always.” Damian said grinning.

 

“Shut up. You’re just jealous that I’m smarter than you.”

 

“I highly doubt that right now.” Damian told him laughing which resulted in him seeing his sugar baby’s raised middle fingers.

 

“I’ll keep that in mind.” His sugar daddy said amused and Reid blushed.

 

“You suck.” He murmured.

 

“You too, bae.”

 

“Stop calling me bae.”

 

“Oh no you don’t. Don’t you dare start this again right now.” Damian said groaning.

 

“You started it.”

 

“What are you two talking about now?” Morgan asked confused.

 

“He called me poop.” Spencer said which made everyone look baffled between him and his sugar daddy.

 

“I did not.”

 

“Did too.”

 

“Did not.”

 

“Did too.”

 

“Did not.”

 

“Did too.”

 

“Did no-STOP IT!” Damian screamed, frustration evident in his voice.

 

“But you called me poop.”

 

“We’re talking English right now, Spencer. Unless you decide to talk to me in danish, I called you bae and not poop.”

 

“It doesn’t matter what language we’re talking in. You called me poop.”

 

“I did not call you poop.”

 

“You did.”

 

“You’re giving me a headache.”

 

“You’re able to get headaches? I thought your head was so big that it never aches.”

 

“That doesn’t even make sense.”

 

“It makes perfect sense.”

 

“Just shut up.”

 

“First you’re calling me poop and now you tell me to shut up. Dad, I want you to stop accepting him. He’s being mean to me.” Spencer pouted and his father shook his head.

 

“Leave me out of this. You two might actually become my worst nightmare.”

 

“So you admit that Alessandro and I aren’t your worst nightmare?”

 

“No, you two together will always be my worst nightmare.”

 

“That’s not fair. We’re not as bad as you think.”

 

“You two set the house on fire, destroyed our neighbors fence, let the microwave explode, gave Carolyn almost a heart attack and ended in the ED enough times that the doctors assumed that you two were being abused.”

 

“See? We aren’t that bad.”

 

“I don’t think I want to see both of you together.” Morgan said.

 

“Hey, we’re not that bad.” Reid protested.

 

“No one wanted to watch both of you.” Rossi reminded him and he started pouting, looking at his father with puppy eyes.

 

“That’s not working anymore, Spencer.”

 

“It was worth the try.” He shrugged.

 

“No one wanted to watch them?” Garcia asked laughing.

 

“Yes, no one. Not even their grandparents.”

 

“Nana watched us all the time.”

 

“And called an ambulance every second time. You two almost gave her a heart attack and I’m pretty sure that I had one when she called me and told me that you were in ICU.”

 

“Yeah but I wasn’t in the ICU because of Alessandro or myself.”

 

“Wait a minute. You were in the ICU? How old were you?” JJ asked shocked.

 

“He was nine and gave almost everyone in the family a heart attack.”

 

“It wasn’t my fault.”

 

“I know but it doesn’t change the fact that you gave almost everyone a heart attack.”

 

“But not everyone.”

 

“I also almost had one.” Hotch said.

 

“You knew me for almost a year. I’m not that important to people.” Spencer said calmly with as steady as his voice could be and a moment later he felt a sharp pain on his butt.

 

“What the fuck?” He screeched, looking incredulously at his boyfriend who raised his hands in surrender.

 

“Don’t look at me like that. It wasn’t me.”

 

“WHAT?” He screamed, unsuccessfully trying to sit up while glaring at his father.

 

“It wasn’t me, Spencer. Even though you deserved that for what you said about yourself.”

 

“I don’t even want to know who did it. Keep it to yourselves.”

 

“I’ll gladly keep the knowledge to myself, wifey.”

 

“You’re as bad as Alessandro.”

 

“I’m not the one calling you Caterina or Claire.”

 

“I know but you called me wifey.”

 

“He still calls you that?” His father asked him amused.

 

“Yes and I’m reacting every time he says it.”

 

“Why are you reacting to girl names?” Morgan asked confused.

 

“Mum and dad had the worst doctors they could get. The doctors told them for months that they were going to get a girl and suddenly they have a boy.”

 

“The doctors were that bad?” JJ asked shocked.

 

“I sued the hospital after he was born. Doesn’t that say everything?” Rossi asked.

 

“You sued them?” Garcia asked baffled.

 

“Yes and the doctor and nurse are still working at the hospital.” Rossi told them furiously.

 

“What exactly happened?” Prentiss asked calmly.

 

“Mum had a C-section and the Doctor cut into my head, almost killing me and the nurse who gave me to my mother bumped my head into the edge of the bed rail. It was the best welcoming into life I could have wished for.”

 

“And they’re still working at the hospital? What the hell?” Morgan asked angrily.

 

“The Hospital paid twenty thousand and that’s it. I never tried anything again after it. I’m just glad that he survived it.”

 

“I’m also, well, most of the time I am.” Reid said which got everyone’s attention.

 

“Spencer?” His father asked warily.

 

“He was diagnosed with depression and PTSD about three months ago. He’s taking his pills so no one needs to worry about what he just said.” Damian explained.

 

“Were you planning to tell me about it?” Rossi asked and Reid shook his head.

 

“I didn’t want anyone to know.”

 

“That’s stupid, Spencer. You need to tell me about it. I’m your superior.” Hotch said.

 

“You don’t need to know about it.” Reid replied stubbornly.

 

“You’re a Field Agent. You go into the field. It’s important for me to know about your mental condition.”

 

“It’s not. If I know that there will be something that will trigger a panic attack or flashback, I’m staying at the station.” Reid explained and Hotch shook his head at him.

 

“Don’t try to tell him something else. He’s stubborn.” Damian said and a phone started ringing before Aaron had the chance to say something else.

 

“Dr. Reid.” Spencer answered the phone and Damian started laughing.

 

“It’s my phone, babe.”

 

“I don’t care, I’m talking now.” He said and the person on the other side of the phone started laughing.

 

“Are you drunk?” He asked.

 

“Maybe. Do you want something?”

 

“Uhh yeah, are you two up for a meeting with the lovely Mrs. Hotchner?”

 

“Depends on which one you mean.”

 

“My mother.”

 

“Kill me.” Reid said and everyone turned their attention to him.

 

“Who are you talking to?” Damian asked.

 

“My fiancé.” He said and the whole team looked shocked at him while his sugar daddy looked amused at him.

 

“Your fiancé, huh?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Ask Damian if he’s up for it.” Sean said.

 

“He’ll kill himself before I even finish the question.”

 

“Right, there was something. Is Aaron there?”

 

“Yeah, I’m sitting next to him. Do you want to talk to him?”

 

“No, just ask him if I can watch Jack tomorrow.”

 

“You want to bring an innocent child near her?”

 

“She’s still his grandmother.”

 

“He never asked to see her.”

 

“Understandably.”

 

“That’s what I said. I won’t ask him that.”

 

“Spence, please. I can’t be alone with her.”

 

“Just tell her that you’re sick.”

 

“I was sick the last time she was here and as you saw, she didn’t care about that.”

 

“Do you know my dad’s address?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Just come here. You can stay here for a few days with me.”

 

“Thank you, I’ll be there in 30.”

 

“No problem, hot stuff.” Spencer said, hung up and threw the phone in Damian’s direction.

 

“I hope you don’t mind it that Sean and I are hiding here for a few days.” He said, looking at his father and then turned to look at Hotch.

 

“You should also hide here with us.” He told him.

 

“Just what was the conversation between my brother and yourself about?” Hotch asked curiously.

 

“Your Mother is on her way to visit him.” Reid said and Aaron groaned.

 

“When is she coming?”

 

“Tomorrow. He wanted to bring Jack near her.”

 

“Jack is never going to get near her.”

 

“Is your mother that bad?” Morgan asked.

 

“You have no idea.” Damian sighed.

 

“You met her?” Hotch asked surprised.

 

“Yeah, Spence and I were at Sean’s when she came to his apartment to visit him. It was hilarious but I had the desire to jump out of a window.”

 

“I apologized after she was gone.”

 

“What did you do?” His father asked grinning.

 

“I just discussed with her about the things she said.”

 

“Discussed? Boy, you totally embarrassed her. It was hilarious.”

 

“I did not. I only pointed out that the things written in the Bible aren’t right.”

 

“Let me guess, Leviticus 18:22?” Hotch groaned.

 

“Yes and I pointed out that it is complete bullshit.”

 

“She deserved it.” Aaron said, shrugging.

 

“But she must have done something right. You do have manners and everything.” JJ said and Reid burst out laughing which got him confused looks from everyone.

 

“I’m sorry, just ignore me.” He got out between his laughter.

 

“Did I say something funny?” Jennifer asked confused.

 

“Yes.“

 

“What was it?“ Prentiss asked confused.

 

“Didn’t you hear? JJ said that his mother did something right. She deserves an award for being the worst parent of the year.”

 

“It can’t be that bad.” Morgan said.

 

“It’s worse than you think. Aaron never said something but Sean talks. And yes Aaron, he remembers everything. I truly don’t know how you did it, but you obviously raised him right.”

 

“It’s true. Despite what everyone seems to think of Sean, he actually has manners and a feeling of being responsible. At least when it comes to Spencer.” Damian said snickering.

 

“Oh for god’s sake, for the last time ever, I’m not a dog he has to take care of and feed. I’m not complaining about his food but he’s exaggerating.”

 

“You would be dead without him.”

 

“That’s not true.”

 

“Everytime he comes over or you’re going to his apartment, he cooks something for you because he knows that you’re not eating.”

 

“I am eating. I just have moments where I forget to eat.”

 

“Moments? I remind you everyday that you need to eat.”

 

“You’re not as perfect as you think you are. I could write a 500 page book about every flaw you have.” Spencer said defensively which made his boyfriend laugh.

 

“This reminds me so much of Charlotte. Are you sure that she’s not your daughter?”

 

“Yes, I’m hundred percent sure that Charlotte is not my daughter.”

 

“But she does look like you.”

 

“She looks like every second child on this planet.”

 

“I did not look like her.”

 

“Oh Damian, I know that you’ve always been an ugly child. No need to remind me.”

 

“This is how you’re going to do this now?”

 

“You started it all.“

 

“I didn’t do anything.”

 

“See? You did so many things that you can’t remember them.”

 

“Do you want me to call her and ask what truly happened?” Damian asked and Spencer stayed quiet after that.

 

“Oh no you don’t. Tell me.” Garcia said.

 

“You should ask Haley what happened. I only know about the ten calls I got from Sean and him in which they were both begging me to come to Sean’s apartment because it was an ‘emergency’. I only saw the calls later but from what I heard, Haley drove to his apartment and since then, they can’t look at her without blushing like mad.” Damian explained.

 

“Do I even want to know?” Hotch asked and Reid shook his head.

 

“You absolutely don’t want to know about it. I’m also not going to tell anyone what happened. It’s embarrassing and Sean would shoot me.”

 

“He’s probably really going to shoot you one day.”

 

“I know. I’ll just say that it’s your fault then.”

 

“Excuse you?”

 

“He would take your gun so it would be your fault. You know how much Sean loves to be my lawyer.”

 

“You have a lawyer?” Morgan asked confused.

 

“No but when I need one, there are way to many who are willing to be my lawyer.”

 

“How did you achieve that?” Prentiss asked confused.

 

“I had sex with most of them,” he shrugged, “Aaron became unofficially my lawyer when cops wanted to arrest me when I was nine and acted as my lawyer until I turned twenty. I started meeting everyone at that age and since then, every lawyer, prosecutor or judge I slept with would be willing to help me out in such a situation. It’s also good to have a boyfriend who can act as my lawyer.”

 

“You were a lawyer?” Rossi asked surprised.

 

“Not really. I have a certificate but a week after I got it, I went into the academy so I never was someone’s lawyer.”

 

“You never stepped up as Spence’s lawyer?” JJ asked.

 

“I never had the chance. Everytime he needed a lawyer, someone else was there and I’m glad that I wasn’t his lawyer. I probably would have shot every cop who was within ten feet of him or even looked at him.”

 

“That bad?” Garcia asked.

 

“You can’t imagine how bad it is to be David Rossi’s son. There are way to many people who would like to be his child and hate me because I am his son. It’s almost funny to see how many people are jealous but sometimes it’s just freaking me out.”

 

“I would apologize for it but we can’t really change the fact that you’re my son.”

 

“I know, dad. And as much as I love you and everything, I’m so glad to be living alone. Sometimes it was like hell to be living with you.”

 

“I wasn’t that bad.”

 

“I know but you had an awful taste in girlfriends. Every second girlfriend you had only seemed interested in me. Do you remember Isabella?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“You introduced me to her after you two were together for three weeks. I was twelve at the time and the goal post thing happened just two weeks earlier. I was still on edge about everything and then I met her. At first she was really nice and I could live with her being around for a few months. At least that’s what I thought. She stayed the night and the next day I was supposed to be at mum’s at 9. I didn’t show up at mum’s and when it was 11 and I still wasn’t there, she became worried and called me. Isabella answered the phone and told her that I didn’t want to see her anymore which was complete bullshit. I went into the kitchen at 12 to eat something before going to mum’s. You were in the shower and she tried to have a conversation with me which failed miserably. Then I got up and wanted to go out and she asked me where I’m going, I told her that I’m going to mum’s and she just said that she’s my new mother now and that I have to forget about the ‘devil who stole her man’. She actually wanted me to call her mum.”

 

“Why didn’t you say anything? You knew that I would always pick you over any girlfriend I had.”

 

“I told Aaron about it. I don’t know what he said but three days later you two broke up.” Reid said and Rossi looked questioningly at Hotch.

 

“I just reminded her that Spencer has a mother and that you wouldn’t hesitate to shoot her for trying to get Spencer to call her mum.” Hotch explained the bell rang.

 

“Damian, door.” Reid said his boyfriend shook his head, amused at it and got up to open the door.

 

“You need to tell me how bad he looks.” Reid screamed after him and the team looked confused.

 

“I bruised his jaw the day before we went on our last case. And he had a black eye.” He explained.

 

“Why did you do that?” Morgan asked as confused as before.

 

“It was an accident.” Spencer said and Sean came into the living room with Damian behind him.

 

“Never sneak up on a guy with PTSD.” Sean replied shrugging and Reid got up to hug him which resulted in Spencer falling over his own feet and his father’s leg, right into Sean’s arms.

 

“I’m glad to see you too.” He said amused, kissing him and Damian groaned.

 

“Does it have to be like this every time you two see each other?”

 

“Shut up, you love it.” Reid replied and tried to walk towards the couch again but he tripped and almost hit the floor if it wouldn’t be for Sean catching him and holding him in a bridal carry.

 

“All you need to do now is carry me over a threshold.” Reid said dryly, unsuccessfully trying to get out of the younger Hotchner’s grip.

 

“Isn’t he to heavy?” Morgan asked and Reid threw his head back in laughter.

 

“That’s a wonderful way to bring up my confidence, Derek.”

 

“He weighs absolutely nothing. Jack could probably carry him.” Sean explained.

 

“He’s 4 years old.”

 

“So? He could carry you.”

 

“You’re crazy.”

 

“Says the right one.” Sean said which resulted in him getting a slap on the back of his head from Damian.

 

“That hurts.”

 

“Cry baby.” Reid’s sugar daddy replied grinning before he took his sugar baby out of Sean’s arms and letting him lay down on the couch between Aaron and his father again.

 

“They call you cry baby, cry baby
But you don't fucking care
Cry baby, cry baby
So you laugh through your tears
Cry baby, cry baby
Cause you don't fucking care
Tears fall to the ground
You'll just let them drown
You'll just let them drown
Cry baby, cry baby.” Spencer began to sing as good as he could with his body full of alcohol and the two grinned at each other.

 

“We’re at it again?”

 

“We never got over it.”

 

“That’s true.”

 

“Blood still stains when the sheets are washed
Sex don't sleep when the lights are off
Kids are still depressed when you dress them up
And syrup is still syrup in a sippy cup
He's still dead when you're done with the bottle
Of course it's a corpse that you keep in the cradle
Kids are still depressed when you dress them up
Syrup is still syrup in a sippy cup.” He sang and smirked at them, completely ignoring the presence of everyone else in the room.

 

“It’s actually disturbing to think that the song is called ‘sippy cup’.” Sean said.

 

“That’s what you’re thinking.”

 

“Yeah because it’s true.”

 

“That’s the only thing you can say? You have a lawyer certificate and you can’t discuss it properly with me?”

 

“I know my ABC's, yet you keep teaching me
I say, fuck your degree, alphabet boy
You think you're smarter than me with all your bad poetry
Fuck all your ABC's, alphabet boy.” Sean sang.

 

“Oh, this is how you want it to be?” Reid asked grinning and Damian shook his head.

 

“Your father is in the room.”

 

“His brother is also here.” Spencer argued.

 

“How about you both stop before this escalates? I’m not going to pick a side again.”

 

“You picked his side the last time.” Sean said accusingly, glaring at him.

 

“I know, it was hard not to.”

 

“See? I’m irresistible.” Spencer said happily.

 

“Sadly that’s the truth.” Sean sighed.

 

“Do you want to know something else?” Reid asked him, grinning mischievously.

 

“No but you’ll tell me anyway.”

 

“But you're not my daddy and I'm not your dolly
And your dictionary's destroyed” He sang and everyone looked baffled at him. Half of the team also had a smile or grin on their face while Aaron and his father were at a loss for words and just looked throughout baffled.

 

“I think that’s enough for tonight.” Damian said and picked him up from the couch. Spencer immediately cuddled into his boyfriend and poked his tongue out at Sean.

 

“Oh no you don’t.” Sean said and took him out of Damian’s arms, laid him down on the floor and started tickling him.

 

“Se-an s-sto-stop.” He got out between his laughter while wiggling on the floor and unsuccessfully trying to escape.

 

“Apologize.”

 

“N-no.” He said breathlessly.

 

“Then I won’t stop.” Sean told him shrugging and continuied to tickle him.

 

“Stop kicking. I don’t want your feet in my face.”

 

“You would deserve it.” Damian replied while Sean still mercilessly tickled his boyfriend who is wiggling on the ground.

 

“How about you come over here and let him kick you in the face?” Sean asked friendly and the rest of the team continued to laugh or smile at the scene before them.

 

None of them had seen Spencer this happy in a long time and with all the things he goes through daily, he more than deserved to have moments like this at the end of the day.

 

“Stawp.” Reid said quietly and Sean immediately stopped, looking sheepishly at Damian.

 

“Five minutes. Congrats, Sean.” Damian said and picked Spencer up who clung to him.

 

“It’s not my fault, Dam. It just shows that he feels safe here and is happy. You should be glad that it’s like that.”

 

“I am but he still needs to take his pills. Maybe you should have the honor to do it today.”

 

“Uhh yeah this reminds me that I have to go somewhere. I’ll do it the next time.”

 

“Ohh, you want to meet your mother? I’m sure she’ll be happy to tell you all about the sin you call your life. You might want to tell her all about the fact that you’re sleeping with someone who’s in a relationship. She’ll probably tell you again that cheating and home wrecking is as much as a sin as homosexuality and that god is going to punish you for it. May your soul rot in hell, you have to pay for your sins. So all in all, have a good time with the woman you call your mother.” Damian said friendly Sean sat down sighing, not saying a word.

 

“Isn’t what you said triggering Georgia flashbacks?” JJ asked.

 

“Normally yes but he’s so far gone that he doesn’t realize it.” Damian explained and got confused stares in return.

 

“I thought they know about it?” Sean asked confused.

 

“They know that I’m his sugar daddy but that’s it. Spence didn’t want them to know but here we are now.” He sighed.

 

“Perfect.”

 

“Want to have the honor to explain it?”

 

“I’ll leave it to you.”

 

“Thanks Sean. It’s good to know that you’ll always have my back.” Damian dryly said and looked at Penelope.

 

“Google ddlb and if someone still have questions, ask but I’ll give him his pills now. Sean will happily answer all your questions.”

 

“I hate you.” Sean muttered while Garcia started googling it and Damian took out Reid’s pills.

 

“You should probably google ddlg.” Sean said and Penelope nodded while Damian tried to get his boyfriend to take his medicine.

 

“Spencer, please. I don’t have the energy to fight with you about the pills now.” He sighed but Reid still kept his mouth closed.

 

“Spencer.” Damian said sternly and Reid looked up at him with puppy eyes while saying “nu-uh” and shaking his head.

 

“Alright, listen up, I’ve been awake for three days, I’m getting tired, Sean is getting on my nerves and I don’t have the energy to fight about it now. Either you take the pills willingly or I’ll force you to take them. It’s your choice but you will take them.” He said and Spencer reluctantly opened his mouth to take the pills.

 

“See? Wasn’t that hard.” Damian said and Spencer glared at him while getting up and sitting down between his father and Aaron, cuddling into his dad.

 

“This is how you’re going to do it now?”

 

“Yes.” Reid quietly said, poking his tongue at his boyfriend.

 

“This is all your fault.” Damian told Sean amused.

 

“You gave him the pills.”

 

“You made him slip.”

 

“Yeah but you still gave him the pills.”

 

“And he slipped because of you.”

 

“And you gave him the pills after he slipped.”

 

“Leave it. I’m to tired to argue over it.”

 

“Good choice.” Sean said grinning and turned his attention back to Garcia.

 

“I found definitions on urban dictionary but they’re not really helpful.”

 

“Just read them. 10 Dollars?” Sean asked Damian and he nodded.

 

“Definitely.” Damian answered grinning and Garcia began to read.

 

“Daddy Dom / Little Girl. DDLG, or dd/lg, is a relationship in which one person is the caregiver or ‘daddy’ and the other is childlike. It is NOT a relationship between an actual father and daughter or any minor. This is a type of BDSM relationship that may or may not involve sex, but often involves play with child-like things, such as stuffed animals, bed-time stories, and spankings. The lg part of the relationship is often called the ‘little’.” Penelope read and almost everyone looked just as confused as before.

 

“Sean, explain it.”

 

“He’s your boyfriend so you should explain it.”

 

“I have a headache, I’m tired and not in the mood to explain it. And you’re sleeping with him so you should explain it.”

 

“He’s your boyfriend.”

 

“He was your fiancé.”

 

“See? He was but he still is your boyfriend.”

 

“Sean, explain.” Hotch said and he sighed.

 

“Alright, right now he’s basically in a space in his mind where he’s a lot younger than he is. He slips into it when he feels safe enough to do it. It’s just his way of relieving stress and forgetting everything for a while. When he’s in his space he completely gives up responsibility to Damian, myself and other people sometimes. Basically he’s just a child during the team he’s into it. He can relax for a while and forget about all the things he sees daily. Everyone has their way of relieving stress and that is his way. So, if you have anything against it, I wouldn’t recommend for you to say it now because Damian is going to punch you in the face and Spence really doesn’t need to see that.” Sean explained and Spencer got up to lay down on their laps. His head was in Damian’s, his hips in Sean’s and his legs took over the rest of the couch.

 

“That’s so cute.” Garcia squeaked, taking pictures.

 

“It can be but sometimes he’s just a pain in the ass.” Sean said, laying his hands down on Reid’s butt.

 

“Hands off.” Damian growled at him and got a smirk in reply.

 

“I don’t see him complaining about it.”

 

“I’ll get you back for it.” Damian promised him which didn’t concern Sean even the tiniest bit.

 

“Are you two every time like that?” Morgan asked.

 

“Yes.” Reid replied quietly in a childlike voice while Damian stroked his hands through his hair.

 

“How do you even put up with them?” Prentiss asked which resulted in protests from Sean and Damian.

 

“We’re not that bad.”

 

“I’m used to people fighting over me all the time. It’s always been like this.”

 

“You shouldn’t be used to it.” Morgan said.

 

“I know but can’t really change it.”

 

“The thing is, he knows that we mean it in a good way and I’m happy for Damian and him. But I wouldn’t have anything against him deciding to come back to me and marry me.” Sean said snickering.

 

“We’re not going to get married.”

 

“I know, baby but it was hilarious.”

 

“It really was.” Reid said, laughing.

 

“Wait, you two almost got married?” JJ asked.

 

“Yes.” Sean answered, laughing.

 

“Why didn’t you in the end?” Garcia asked.

 

“He didn’t want to get married like his father did and we both wanted to spare awkward situations.”

 

“My weddings weren’t bad.” Rossi said.

 

“Krystall.” His son said and he immediately shut up.

 

“We were both drunk and in Vegas. Mike and Ethan had the wonderful idea that we should get married and we almost did. Thank god that we decided against it in the end.”

 

“They just wanted to see me make a stupid decision.” Spencer said.

 

“I would have been a good husband.” Sean said defensively.

 

“I don’t doubt that but it would have been way to awkward.”

 

“See? He admitted that I would be a good husband.” Sean told Damian, poking his tongue out at him.

 

“I would be better.” Dam said laughing.

 

“Both of you would be good.” Reid said tiredly.

 

“Since you three cleared that, I get it that you both didn’t want to get married in Vegas while being drunk but why would that have been awkward?” JJ asked.

 

“I would have taken his name. Imagine how that would have been on every case.”

 

“Alright, I get that but why take his name?” Garcia asked confused.

 

“No matter who I am going to marry one day, I’ll take their name. I’m sick of people asking me all the time if I’m David Rossi’s son. It’s getting ridiculous.”

 

“It’s more than ridiculous. It’s bad enough if people come to him and try to get David’s number or anything else but with a different surname, he would be able to work cases without people asking all the time if he’s David’s son. I experienced it myself a few times and it was annoying. The only thing they wanted to talk about were his parents. Every question we asked was answered with a question about his parents. It got to the point where I had to tell him to wait in the car.” Damian said.

 

“You can’t forget the god damn idiots who somehow found out my undercover name and asked around in the restaurant if they know a FBI undercover agent with the name. That was absolutely idiotic. They actually asked the person I was sent to arrest. They could have gotten me killed but hey, at least they would meet dad.” Reid said, eye rolling.

 

“We were lucky that we changed the name minutes before you went inside.”

 

“Just imagine what could have happened. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out how to use the Internet.”

 

“I know. I’m just glad that everything went as it was supposed to be. But it was stupid on their part.”

 

“There were people who asked around for you and said that you were an undercover agent?” JJ asked, looking ready to run head first into the next wall because of the stupidity.

 

“Yeah. We had so much luck that we changed the name.”

 

“What was the original name?” Prentiss asked.

 

“Carolyn Baker. Stupidest thing the FBI ever did.”

 

“You were supposed to go undercover with your mother’s name?” Rossi asked furiously.

 

“Yes. They obviously didn’t think about the possibility that someone could go after mum. Whoever came up with the name deserves an award for being the stupidest agent the FBI ever had.”

 

“It was the woman in my department.” Damian told them.

 

“Which one?” Rossi asked.

 

“The one who keeps telling everyone that she doesn’t know you. I don’t even know her name but it’s getting on my nerves.”

 

“You know, every time I’m walking to your office and she’s there she asks me how my dad is doing. It’s actually kinda strange considering that she apparently doesn’t know dad.” Reid said laughing.

 

“This is embarrassing.” Morgan said and Spencer yawned.

 

“You getting tired?” Damian asked him, starting to stroke through his hair again.

 

“Yeah.” Reid replied quietly, sighing contentedly and leaning into Damian’s touch.

 

“Should we go?” JJ asked and Reid shook his head.

 

“You can stay but I’ll probably fall asleep in a few minutes.”

 

“Do you want to change clothes now or should we do it later?” Sean asked.

 

“Now. I’m really to tired to care about the fact that everyone’s going to see it.”

 

“We can look away.” Morgan said and Reid shrugged.

 

“I really don’t care right now.” He said and turned himself around so Damian was able to open his clothes. His boyfriend started to take his tie off and threw it next to the couch, his sweater vest following shortly after, as well as his shoes on the other side of the couch which Sean took off. While Sean opened his belt, he looked at his sugar daddy with puppy dog eyes and Damian sighed.

 

“Sometimes you’re really getting on my nerves.” Dam said and took off his hoodie, sitting there in only a shirt now and opened his boyfriend’s shirt. He threw it to the other clothes and helped him slip on his hoodie which was way to big. The moment the hoodie covered his crotch, Sean took his pants off and threw them to his shoes and Reid got comfortable on his boyfriend and ex again.

 

“You’re so adorable right now.” Garcia said and he blushed a little bit.

 

“Thanks, I guess.” He quietly said.

 

“You’re welcome, boo.” Garcia said smiling and Sean started to move.

 

“I’m trying to sleep, Sean. Stop moving.”

 

“Sorry, I’m just trying to pick up your pants.”

 

“Leave them. I’m sure that dad missed collecting my clothes throughout the whole house.” Reid said snickering.

 

“You’ll never know how much I missed it.” His father replied dryly.

 

“See? Just like I said.”

 

“Don’t you want your phone?” The younger Hotchner asked.

 

“I’m trying to stop falling asleep with my phone in my hands.”

 

“Good luck with that.” He said laughing.

 

“What are the plans for your birthday?” Garcia asked, interrupting their conversation.

 

“Birthday?” Sean asked confused and Reid started laughing.

 

“His birthday is in two days, Sean.”

 

“What? Your birthday was just three months ago.”

 

“It was almost a year ago now.” Damian said laughing.

 

“Oh, wow. I’m in for anything expect a repeat of last year.” Sean said and Reid nodded in agreement.

 

“I already told you that I don’t want to celebrate.” Damian said, sighing.

 

“Good luck with that. Penelope knows that it’s your birthday and since you’re my boyfriend, she’ll plan a party for you. Don’t even try to talk her out of it.” Spencer said, cuddling more into their laps and feeling his eyes getting heavier.

 

“I really don’t want anything. I’ll probably just stay in bed and sleep.”

 

“Not with me, Mister. You’ll get a party you won’t forget.”

 

“It’s not necessary.” Damian said and looked down to see his boyfriend closing his eyes.

 

“It is necessary. You’re Spencer’s boyfriend which makes you family and that means that you’ll get a party.” Penelope said determined and Damian sighed in defeat.

 

“Alright but nothing to big.”

 

“We’ll see about that.” Garcia said grinning.

 

“Is he asleep?” Sean asked and Damian shook his head.

 

“Give him a minute and he’ll be asleep for the next twenty four hours.”

 

“Finally.” Sean sighed and at the same time Reid tiredly said, “Disneyland”.

 

“Disneyland?” Damian asked confused.

 

“I wanna go there.”

 

“Are you serious?”

 

“Yeah, I wanna go to Disneyland.” Spencer said and fell asleep.

 

“Sean, are you up for Disneyland?” Damian asked.

 

“You’re not seriously considering it?” Morgan asked confused.

 

“I am. If he wants to go, we’ll go.” Reid’s boyfriend said and the girls smiled at him while Sean said, “whipped”.

 

“I know but you’re not better than I am.”

 

“You’re the one who wants to go to Disneyland because he said he wants to go there.”

 

“And you’re the one who keeps buying him everything he sees.”

 

“You both are whipped.” Morgan said grinning.

 

“You’re also whipped chocolate thunder.” Penelope said, also grinning.

 

“I’m not.” Derek said defensively which only made Garcia grin even more.

 

“You keep giving him everything he wants and as soon as he asks you to do something, you do it.”

 

“How about we just agree that he has us all wrapped around his finger?” Prentiss asked and everyone nodded in agreement.

 

“I’ll take him to bed now.” Damian said and picked Spencer carefully up, holding him close to his body.

 

“Do you even know where his room is?” Sean asked.

 

“You don’t?” Damian asked smirking, already knowing the answer.

 

“No.” The younger Hotchner said confused.

 

“I guess you’re not good enough in bed then.”

 

“That’s what you say.”

 

“Alessandro told me once that everyone who’s good enough in bed will be snuck into his room here at some point. You’ve known him for twelve years now and never been in his room. I’ve been there after three weeks of meeting him.” Damian told him smirking and quickly went out of the room to not wake Spencer up with trying to catch the shoe that Sean threw after him.

 

“Since Spencer is gone, I do have one question.” Aaron told his younger brother.

 

“What is it?”

 

“What happened between you two and Haley?” He asked straightforwardly and Sean blushed, a moment later looking into the direction Damian went with Reid and screamed, ”Spencer”.

 

“So, what happened?”

 

“That’s definitely a story for another day.” Sean said and quickly went out of the room, leaving a confused team behind but he didn’t care.

 

What happened between Haley, Spencer and himself is something he’ll take to his grave with him.