Their touches were always simple, friendly, yet weighted, anchoring them both in the chaotic whirlwind that their lives had become. Overwhelmed and overworked, they had little victories except the momentary joy exchanged in secret over innocent touches that silently communicated their hopes and fears, strengths and faults. It was one of the few constants they had left amid the maelstrom.
“I feel like I’m loosing him...” the sudden realization of her son’s actions hit her all at once and she looked up at him, her face breaking with desperation. “ ... Jack, I....” He touched her hand gently but it quickly left in favour of the side of her face. “... I need help.”
“I’ll do anything I can,” he said, gripping the hair behind her ear.
Erica looked down and then up, searching for him and finding him there in front of her. He ran his fingers through her hair and she closed her eyes for a moment before it all gets too much and she slips away from him. Silently, Erica drew back into herself and supported her chin on her hand, pressing her thumb into her lips, suppressing tears. It wasn’t long before she collapsed, falling on to the pile of hands, letting them support her, as the weight of the situation crushed what little strength she had left.
He took one last look at the chaotic state of the room; with a hand on the back of her head, Jack drew her in and pressed his lips against her forehead as she leaned into his arm for support. Jack gave it all to her freely, without question or concern, letting her soak up everything he had to offer until she stood and broke their contact.
“I... I have to go find him...” Erica ran her hand over her face, pushing the tears and frustration to the down, crushing them into the floor as she paced about the room.
“Erica...” he was up and after her, gripping her forearms with his hands, trying to catch her eyes with him. When refused to look at him, he stepped forward and caught her lips with his own, applying just enough pressure to make her stop. Stupidly, naively, he never thought that this was anything more than another simple touch that they shared; he never thought that she would kiss him back.
It ended on its own and they pushed their foreheads together, entwining their fingers together. Jack pushed her towards his desk gently and when her knees hit the back of it, he began to push her clothes away. Her head lulled to the side and there was nothing simple about her lips on his neck, his hands as he tugged her jacket’s zipper down or the sound it made as it hit the stone floor.
The loud thud brought reality back and it all started to crash around her. His lips on her, his hands running over her body, squeezing her breasts as she bit his shoulder, gasping for more... it was all too much and she panicked. He recognized it quickly and before she could start to fight him, he wrapped his arms around her naked back, gently running his fingers up and down her spine.
“Just breath,” he whispered into her hair and slowly, she calmed down. She pushed away from him, and when he pulled back, he saw it; her fear and anxiety threatened to take this all away.
“Is this a sin?” she asked him after it was far too late for questions. Her bright blue eyes looked up at him, begging for confirmation and reassurance; they flooded with tears when he didn’t answer. Instead, Jack found her lips with his own and pressed against her, vehemently determined to convince her that the decision had already been made. Erica paused; a million arguments spoke to her in words that were too fast to comprehend and she raked her nails over his back, clinging to him as he positioned himself and thrust inside of her.
She was gone, lost in a world of their own creation, away from the entanglements of real life and all the trouble that it brought; she arched her back and anchored him to her with a single hand on his cheek. She met him at every thrust as he pushed deeper and deeper into her. Jack closed his eyes and listened to her come; the sound pushed him over the edge and he threw back his head in ecstasy.
Breathing heavily, he picked her up off of the desk. His hands refused to break contact with her even after he softened. She shifted and pushed him out of her, running her fingers over his temple and down the side of his face, searching for something, searching for him.
“I need you.”
“You have me, I promise,” he touched her hands, letting the tips of his fingers pad their way down to her wrists , trying to reassure her once again. “I’m not going to stop, Erica. I’m never going to stop.”