“Yosuke, I am so, so sorry-” Souji said, for what had to be the thousandth time, and Yosuke just waved his hand (his left hand, to be very specific) dismissively at him.
“Like I said, bro, it’s fine ,” he repeated back at Souji, for the thousandth time. And he sighed. “Well, okay, it’s not fine , but, you get what I mean…”
They were in Yosuke’s room, sitting on opposite sides of Yosuke’s desk, Yosuke in his usual, comfortable chair and Souji in a kitchen chair that he’d dragged upstairs a few hours ago. The room itself was cleaner than it had been in months, thanks to Souji. The desk, which had once been pushed up against the far wall, was now sitting basically in the center of the room, to accommodate both boys as they did their homework. Well, as Souji tried to get Yosuke to do his homework, anyway. To be fair, it was kind of...difficult, considering Yosuke could only use his left hand at the moment.
It had happened a little over a week ago, on a particularly foggy morning (though thankfully this was natural fog and not caused by the Midnight Channel). Yosuke had been biking to school. Souji had been kind of off in his own little world and hadn’t been paying attention to his surroundings, so when Yosuke had called out to him to get out of the road, he hadn’t heard...and Yosuke had swerved to miss him and hit a street light instead.
Really, it could have been much, much worse. He hadn’t even broken his wrist, just fractured it. The doctor had said that he’d have his cast off in a couple of months, maybe sooner if he didn’t do anything stupid in the meantime. Still, the facts were the facts, and the fact was that Yosuke couldn’t use his right hand and Souji was at least partially to blame for it. But Souji had taken that to an extreme and was trying to take all of the responsibility for it, and Yosuke was trying to stop him every step of the way
“If I had been paying attention, I would have gotten out of the way faster...” Souji trailed off, with a depressed sigh.
“C’mon, man,” Yosuke groaned. “I’ve told you time and time again, it wasn’t your fault! I was going too fast to begin with, and I hit that patch of ice!” he insisted, but Souji stubbornly frowned even deeper. “And hey, look on the bright side! At least this didn’t happen when we were still going into the TV, when I really needed both of my hands.”
“I’m still going to do everything I can to make it up to you,” Souji insisted, and Yosuke shook his head.
“You’ve done more than enough already, dude. You cleaned my room! You took some of my shifts at Junes! You’ve been walking me to school every day, and bringing me lunch! You’re doing my homework!” Yosuke listed, adamant.
“ Helping you do your homework,” Souji corrected. “I’m only writing down the answers you’re giving me.”
“My point still stands,” Yosuke replied. “Look, I don’t see what else you could possibly be helping me with. Just about the only other time I have trouble with my hand is in the shower and-” here he sat forward and glared at Souji, who had opened his mouth to probably say he’d help him bathe, “I’m not letting you help me in the shower. There are limits .”
“Okay…” Souji replied, with a pout. Yosuke refused to find it cute.
To be honest, he was actually enjoying having Souji doting on him like this. Having a fractured wrist really sucked, and he was terrible at using his left hand for basically everything, but it definitely could have been worse. In another two weeks he should be able to hold things and use his fingers for short periods of time without it hurting, or so the doctor had said. He wouldn’t be able to do anything really dexterous yet, like eat with chopsticks, but he should be able to play video games with no trouble at the very least. He was really looking forward to that.
“Honestly, the fact that you’ve been around so much is good enough, Partner,” Yosuke said, grinning across the desk at him. “I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have you around to keep me entertained. There’s only so much fun I can have with one hand, y’know.” Souji snorted, but to his credit he didn’t take the incredibly obvious low-hanging fruit of a joke there, and Yosuke appreciated that. He felt a dust of heat settle across his cheeks anyway. “Ha ha, you know what I meant.” Souji nodded, but looked contemplative, leveling a serious look at him.
“That must be rather difficult for you right now,” Souji replied, and if Yosuke wasn’t mistaken, his face was a little red. “Are you doing okay?”
“Did you seriously just ask me if I’m doing okay jerking off?” Yosuke blurted out, incredulously. His face was definitely red. Both of their faces were.
“W-well,” Souji stuttered, and Yosuke was kind of amazed, because when was the last time he’d seen Souji so defensive and off his game like this? Never. “I mean, whenever I try to do it with my left hand it’s never any good, and... it’s been over a week since you crashed, so…”
“Well I mean, yeah, using my left hand sucks, but what else am I supposed to do?” Yosuke muttered in response, scratching at the back of his head, nervously. Souji didn’t respond for a second, and Yosuke looked at him, to find him fidgeting. He sighed. “Souji, it’s fine . Yeah, if you’d gotten out of the way I wouldn’t have hit that street light but maybe I would have crashed even worse further down the hill! Maybe you saved my life! So please stop beating yourself up about it, alright?”
Souji didn’t reply. He was still frowning, still red-faced, and pointedly not looking at Yosuke now. Yosuke’s brows furrowed, confused.
“...what?” he finally asked, and Souji let out a little, barely audible sigh before looking up at him, determined.
“Let me help you with that, too,” Souji requested, and Yosuke blinked, confused for a second, before he remembered what they’d just been talking about. He felt his face flame.
“W-with…?” he managed to stammer.
“It’s my fault you’ve been having to use your left hand to masturbate,” Souji said, and Yosuke choked a little hearing him say the word ‘masturbate’ like it was nothing. “Let me help.”
“Uh…” Yosuke managed to squeak out, before falling silent, staring helplessly over the desk at his best friend, his Partner , honest-to-god the best thing to ever happen to him, as he declared with determination that he wanted to help him jerk off.
He should have said no. Immediately, no question about it, he should have immediately turned him down. ‘There are limits ’, he remembered himself saying, not even two minutes earlier. This was definitely going past his threshold for what a bro should be willing to do for another bro in a time of need. This was so far past the threshold that the threshold wasn’t even visible any more.
But, man, did he really, really want to say yes.
It was true that he’d been feeling sexually frustrated lately - very true, very lately - and it was definitely Souji’s fault. But it wasn’t really...Souji’s fault . It wasn’t because of the cast on his wrist (and that wasn’t even Souji’s fault to begin with!). It was (and he was so ashamed to admit this) because it was Souji , and Souji had been here all week with him, helping him and tending to him and, well... acting like a nurse .
God, his face was hot even thinking about this. Why was he like this ?!
“N-nah, man, it’s fine, I’m not gonna make you do that ,” he finally responded, his voice a little higher-pitched than he would have liked.
“I want to help,” Souji insisted, and Yosuke felt himself die a little inside. He wanted to say yes, but...but he couldn’t , right? Souji was offering just to be nice. There was no way he actually wanted to do it, right? And in any case, he couldn’t take advantage of his partner like that, he just couldn’t! And besides, he wasn’t gay! Yes he found Souji attractive but of course he did, he had eyes and Souji was Souji . And, yeah, he kind of wanted to know what it would feel like to have Souji’s amazing hands on his dick, but only because Souji had really nice hands and he was really good with them and he gave amazing back rubs so of course he probably gave amazing hand jobs too. But there was a difference between being curious about these things and actually letting Souji touch his dick .
“It’s fine, you don’t have to do something like that for me,” Yosuke finally protested, and Souji shook his head.
“I don’t mind,” Souji countered. Yosuke felt himself start to panic. He was very quickly running out of excuses, and he didn’t want to just lie to Souji. It was starting to get hard to think, actually, because despite his best efforts, a lot of his blood was...rushing south.
It had to be because he hadn’t gotten off in over a week. It had to be. Just the idea of Souji touching his dick was making him ridiculously hard, and he didn’t normally get hard quite so easily. He refused to believe that it was the idea of Souji - a guy - touching his dick that was doing it. Definitely not. Absolutely not.
“You can say no, you know,” Souji said, cutting through Yosuke’s panic-induced swirl of thoughts. He looked up, to find Souji looking over at him, face serious. “I won’t be mad.”
“I-I know,” Yosuke stammered, and finally just gave up and lowered his face down to rest his forehead against the cool surface of the desk, with a groan. “Look I...are you only saying you’ll do this because you feel responsible?”
“I wouldn’t offer to do this for just anybody, Yosuke, if that’s what you’re asking,” Souji replied, sounding cautious, and Yosuke shifted so that his right cheek was against the desk, looking up at Souji to find him looking down at him, biting his lip and looking pensive.
“If my arm wasn’t in a cast, would you still...n-no, never mind, forget I asked,” Yosuke muttered, before turning so that he was face down on the desk again. “I’m being stupid.”
“You’re not,” Souji replied. He felt Souji gently place a hand on his head, and managed not to jolt in response. After a few seconds of silence, he felt Souji start to move his hand, gently carding his fingers through Yosuke’s hair. It was easy to imagine those fingers stroking something else, something that was very quickly becoming a Problem, and Yosuke felt himself turn beet red. He was starting to get lightheaded, which wasn’t a surprise considering it felt like all of the blood in his body was either in his face or in his dick right now.
“Sorry,” Yosuke groaned. “I’m making this weird.”
“You aren’t,” Souji insisted. “Honestly, I’m just surprised you haven’t said no yet.”
“I...I want to say yes, but…” Yosuke trailed off, stopping after he heard Souji suck in a breath in surprise. He looked up to find Souji staring at him in shock, hand having gone still in his hair.
“But?” Souji finally asked, and Yosuke had to swallow around a sudden lump in his throat.
“I’m not gay,” he protested.
“You don’t have to be,” Souji replied, withdrawing his hand and sitting up straight, looking down at Yosuke with a serious expression. “This can just be me helping you do something that you’re having difficulty with because of something I caused. That’s all it has to be, if that’s all you want it to be.”
“...okay,” Yosuke replied, after a few seconds of tense silence. He slowly sat up. “But for the last time, the crash wasn’t your fault, Souji. I don’t want you doing this just because you feel like you have to.”
“I’m not,” Souji stressed. “I just want to help you.”
“...okay,” Yosuke finally managed to respond. His face was so red . “Okay, yeah, sure. Uh, w-where do you want me, then?”
“Where would be comfortable for you?” Souji asked, and Yosuke looked around the room, a little frantic. He normally laid down on his bed when he jerked off, but that felt a little too...personal, for some reason. He just shook his head.
“Uh, I guess I’ll stay in the chair?” he asked, and Souji nodded.
“Alright,” he said, and scooted back away from the desk, standing up. For some reason, the movement made it seem like it was actually real, actually happening , and Yosuke panicked a little bit. Souji noticed, and stopped right where he was.
“You can still say no,” he reminded Yosuke, and Yosuke nodded, ducking his head and blushing.
“I...I know, but I don’t want to,” he replied.
“Then, can you push yourself away from the desk?” Souji asked, coming to stand beside him. Yosuke felt himself blush so hard that even the tips of his ears went red.
“Uhh...well...see, the thing is,” he sputtered, clearly stalling. “I...I’m already kind of. Uh. Hard. Really hard.”
“Good?” Souji asked, arching an eyebrow. He was blushing too, thank god , so at least it looked like he was aware of how weird the situation was.
“It's embarrassing ,” Yosuke insisted.
“You’ve got nothing to be ashamed about, Yosuke,” Souji insisted. Still, he was standing a few paces away from Yosuke, giving him ample space. Yosuke just sat there for a few seconds, sweating bullets. It wasn’t too late to call this off. He could just laugh it off, say ‘good one, Partner, but let’s get back to homework, alright?’
He could, but...it had been over a week since he’d been able to get off. It had been a week of being doted on by Souji, and a week of guilty fantasies at night and his stupid left hand not being good enough to get him off, and... god he just had to know , he needed to know if Souji’s hands on him would feel as good as he thought they would.
It was just a bro helping out another bro. It didn’t have to be anything other than that. Yes, it would be embarrassing, but, honestly, who better to share such an embarrassing experience with than his Partner? Besides, he didn’t think he’d be able to stand not getting off for another two weeks. It would be torture
He pushed himself away from his desk and swiveled the chair around to face him. His face was beet red, but then again, so was Souji’s. He saw Souji’s eyes flick down to his lap, saw his eyes widen a little, and, honestly, Yosuke felt a little smug about it.
“Uh, so, how do you want to-” he started, but then Souji moved, dropping down onto his knees so that they were eye level, and he felt himself go hot under his stare. He looked determined , like he had when they’d gone into battle in the TV world, and...having that look leveled at him was making him hot under the collar. “Oh,” he managed to squeak, surprised, when Souji reached for his belt with no warning whatsoever.
“Is this okay?” Souji asked, meeting his eyes, and Yosuke nodded, not trusting his voice. Souji nodded in response, and then his sole attention was on Yosuke’s belt, and undoing it with precise movements, sliding it carefully out of belt loops and setting it aside on the floor beside the chair. He popped open his fly with similar precision, looking back up to meet his eyes again. “Still okay?” he asked.
“Yeah, go ahead,” Yosuke replied, and he surprised even himself with how breathless he sounded already. Ugh, he probably sounded so lame. Souji looked back down and tugged down his zipper, and the change in pressure was immediately palpable, and such a relief that Yosuke couldn’t help groaning. He saw Souji smirk, but the silver-haired teen didn’t say anything, just pried open his fly and started to tug down his pants.
“O-oh, uh, here, let me…” Yosuke stammered, motioning for Souji to move back as he stood up. He awkwardly tried to push his pants down with one hand, blushing out of embarrassment for both having to be so awkward with how he took off his pants and, also, the fact that he was taking off his pants in front of Souji Seta . Because Souji was going to jerk him off.
How was this real life?!
Souji reached up and stilled him, and Yosuke swore that he could feel an electric current from Souji’s fingers into his hand. He let go of his pants and let Souji tug them down to his ankles, and then he awkwardly stepped out of them. Soon enough, he was collapsing back into his chair in relief. The constriction of his boxers was much more comfortable than his pants had been. He was actually really relieved that Souji hadn’t tried to pull off his boxers, too...for some reason, the idea of being just totally naked from the waist down in front of Souji was much scarier than it should have been. It wasn’t like Souji was going to judge him, or anything, but…
Souji scooted back to kneel right in front of Yosuke again, meeting his eyes when he looked up.
“Still okay?” he asked.
“Yeah,” Yosuke confirmed, and Souji reached down. He couldn’t help squirming when he felt Souji’s hand against the tent in his boxers, but it was hard not to. It wasn’t just that nobody else had ever touched him, but that was a big part of it. It was Souji , a guy , touching him, and if he was straight it wasn’t supposed to feel good, right?
But the warmth of his hand, even through the thin cotton of his boxers, already felt better than any time he’d ever jerked off. Shit . And now he was petting him, just a gentle back-and-forth motion across his erection, and Yosuke felt like dying a little, because he could feel his dick twitching against Souji’s fingers. Ugh, he was such a loser, getting so excited over being touched by his best friend , what was wrong with him?!
Souji’s eyes flicked up to his face, briefly, as if checking him for disgust or discomfort. Yosuke simply nodded down at him, not trusting his words any more. Souji nodded back and gently took the waistband of his boxers in hand and pulled them down enough to free his erection. His dick all but sprang up like an overeager puppy, head already glistening with precum. Ugh, why he was such an embarrassment ?! He must have made some kind of noise, because Souji paused, looking up at him.
“Uh, s-sorry,” Yosuke stammered. “It’s...it usually doesn’t, like... pop up like that.” He was so lame , why was he so lame ?!
“I’m flattered,” Souji replied, with a little smirk. “It’s happy to see me.” His eyes were all sincerity. He wasn’t joking . He wasn’t teasing Yosuke! He actually meant that .
“Y-you dork,” Yosuke muttered, covering his eyes with a hand and giving a little laugh. Souji laughed too, and waited for Yosuke to look down at him.
“Ready?” he asked, and Yosuke had no idea if he was or not, but he knew that he was still hard, somehow actually harder now, and it was definitely, absolutely Souji’s fault. He didn’t know how to take that, but he knew that having some kind of gay crisis about this now wasn’t going to do him any good. If he didn’t get a hand on his dick soon he was going to go insane .
“Yeah,” he said, and Souji’s attention turned back to his dick. As Yosuke watched, almost in slow motion, Souji reached out. And, shit , if he’d thought that Souji petting him through his boxers had felt good, it was nothing compared to how his hand felt, closing around his dick just below the swollen head. He definitely made some kind of embarrassing, high-pitched whine in response, and Souji looked up at him.
“Still okay,” he managed to blurt out, cutting off Souji’s question. “K-keep going.” Souji nodded.
“I’ve never done this for anyone, so you’ll have to tell me if it feels okay,” Souji informed him, managing to somehow sound nonchalant . Yosuke opened his mouth to reply, probably to say something stupid like ‘I’ve never had this done to me so I don’t know.’ Souji’s grip changed, and he rubbed the pad of his thumb across the underside of the head of his dick, and Yosuke lost the ability to form words, instead. Souji rubbed circles against the head of his dick for a few seconds, until Yosuke managed to make a mortifying whining noise with his stupid mouth. That must have been some kind of signal, because then he changed his grip to be a little tighter and moved his hand down to the base, and then back up. He built up a nice rhythm, a little bit slower than what Yosuke was used to, but he honestly didn’t care. A hand on his dick, another person’s hand on his dick - Souji’s hand on his dick - felt amazing , especially after a week of disappointment.
“How’s this?” Souji asked, and if Yosuke wasn’t mistaken he sounded a little breathless. “Good?”
“Unhh,” Yosuke managed to articulate. Smart, Yosuke, so smart. Souji smirked in response.
“Good, then,” he replied. Yosuke swallowed, moving is good hand to grip the side of his chair as Souji sped up his ministrations. He watched through nearly closed eyes as Souji reached up with his other hand and wrapped it around the head of his dick, and he swore he felt his brain short circuit. One hand was stroking up and down his length while the other petted and rubbed his sensitive head, and - fuck , it was better than anything Yosuke had ever done to himself. It was better than any porn he’d ever found on the internet, better than any lewd fantasy he’d ever had about a girl, better than his hottest, sluttiest nurse fetish magazines.
It was also over way quicker than he had anticipated. Definitely quicker than he wanted it to be. He didn’t really even have time to warn Souji before he was spilling hot ropes of cum all over his hands, whimpering and twitching and groaning through his orgasm. Which was, absolutely, the best orgasm he’d ever had. No question.
Yeah, of course an orgasm from having someone else’s hands, no matter whose, on him would have been better than anything he’d ever done to himself. It didn’t mean he was gay . It didn’t mean anything .
It didn’t mean anything either when he felt his dick twitch from the sight of the visible tent in Souji’s pants. He hoped he wasn’t being obvious as he stared at it, watching Souji stand up slowly and carefully. He found himself admiring Souji’s ass (not for the first time) when he turned to make his way over to Yosuke’s bathroom. It wasn’t until he returned with a warm, wet towel that Yosuke stirred out of his post-orgasm haze, taking it out of his hands before he could do something silly like clean up Yosuke’s own dick for him. ‘There are limits ’ echoed in his brain, and he almost laughed at the sheer absurdity of it. Sure, he’d take a hand job from his best friend, but let him help clean him up?
“So, how did I do?” Souji asked, after Yosuke had tucked himself away and awkwardly shuffled his way back into his pants. Yosuke looked across the desk over at him, and struggled to get his brain to put together a sentence that didn’t sound absolutely insane. He wanted to tell him that it was the best orgasm he’d ever had, ten out of ten would come again, but that was absolutely out of the question. But he didn’t want to underplay it, either, and say it was just ‘okay’ or something, because it was clearly better than that.
How did he make this not sound totally gay? That was the real question.
Before he could figure out a way to respond that was still at least somewhat heterosexual, his brain made him notice the fact that Souji looked a little...disheveled. It was barely noticeable, really, but he was panting a little as if he was still slightly out of breath, his cheeks were red, and there was a sheen of sweat across his forehead. Wait. How long had he been in the bathroom for? Yosuke didn’t really know. Time had gone a little wonky for him when he’d been trying to calm down from his orgasm.
“Did you get off in the bathroom?” Yosuke blurted out, and Souji’s eyes widened. He hadn’t meant to sound accusatory, just curious, but the way Souji was visibly panicking led him to believe that he’d sounded accusatory. “Ugh, that came out wrong. It’s fine if you did, uh…” That didn’t seem to be calming Souji down at all, if the way he was looking around the room, as if for an escape route, was any indication. “Wait, wait, hold on a second. I’m sorry. I don’t care if you did or you didn’t.”
“I…” Souji started, visibly swallowing. He wasn’t visibly panicking any more, but he looked almost...guilty, or ashamed. And, honestly? To hell with that. He didn’t have anything to be ashamed about. If jerking off Yosuke had gotten Souji all hot and bothered, that was okay. That was, if he was being honest with himself, more than okay - flattering, actually. He’d been a little worried that Souji wouldn’t want to have anything to do with him if he saw how dumb Yosuke looked when he got off, and instead it had somehow made him hard enough that he had to get off in the bathroom? Yeah, that was definitely flattering. If he hadn’t just gotten off, the mere idea of it would have definitely gotten him hard.
“It’s actually...kinda flattering,” Yosuke said, after a moment, and Souji turned to look at him so quickly he was worried that he’d given himself whiplash. The pure shock on his face was almost comical, between the way his eyes were wide and his mouth was literally open. Yosuke chuckled and reached across the desk with his good hand and shut his mouth for him. “Is that so hard to believe?”
“Yes,” Souji replied, still staring at him in shock. Okay, so, Souji believed - rightfully so - that Yosuke would hate him for needing to get off after getting him off. That was pretty gay, after all. But the whole situation was...well, it was weird. Yeah it was just a bro helping out another bro, but it was more than that. It was Souji with his amazing hands on Yosuke’s dick. It was the fact that Yosuke kind of wanted those hands on his everything . It was the fact that Yosuke wanted to return the favor. That was...really gay...but maybe that was okay. Maybe he was still stupid from his orgasm, or maybe not. Maybe he was finally thinking with a clear head, without all of his usual stupid hangups about things being ‘too gay’.
“Souji, that was...you were amazing , man. I’m cool with this being a one-time thing, but any time you want to put your hands on my dick I am totally down for it ,” Yosuke said, and Souji looked like he was somehow caught between laughing and choking in response.
“ Really ?” he asked, and Yosuke laughed.
“Dude, when my wrist heals, I wanna return the favor. That’s how good that was,” he replied, and Souji actually seemed to be choking now. Yosuke started to get up and go to him, but Souji shook his head, coughing into one hand and holding the other one up to stop him.
“Sorry,” Yosuke eventually apologized, feeling sheepish, and Souji shook his head.
“Warn a guy before you drop a bomb like that, Yosuke,” Souji wheezed, with a chuckle.
“My bad,” Yosuke apologized again, ducking his head a little in embarrassment.
“Do you really mean that, though? Are you sure?” Souji asked
“Yes, I’m sure,” Yosuke replied, and evidently his capacity to feel embarrassed was coming back, because he felt his cheeks heating up again.
“Okay,” Souji said, before sitting up straight and leveling that look at him from before, the determined look. He took a measured breath. “Then, until your wrist heals, any time you feel like you need...release...just let me know.”
“Any time?” Yosuke asked, and Souji shook his head, with a laugh.
“Well, obviously not any time. I’m not doing this for you at school or work,” he answered, and Yosuke nodded. “But, seriously, Yosuke. Don’t hesitate to ask. I don’t mind . Really.”
It was going to be seriously difficult not to ask him every day. Heck, he was still coming down from his high and he kind of already wanted to go again! Ugh, this was totally bad.
He had to show some kind of restraint here, though. He wasn’t going to take advantage of the situation. It wasn’t like Souji was his girlfriend or anything, he was just...a friend, helping out a friend. That’s all this was. He’d only ask him like...every three days or so. Maybe even less than that. Definitely not every day. Absolutely not. He didn’t need to get off every day. He absolutely didn’t need those amazing hands on his stupid dick every single day. (Yeah, he wanted those amazing hands on him every day, but he didn’t need it.)
“Okay, yeah, cool,” Yosuke replied. He was staring down at the textbook sitting between them, still open, but without really seeing it. “So, uh, I guess we should get back to this homework?”
If he wasn’t mistaken, Souji actually looked a little disappointed, but he was quick to nod and pick up a pencil. And all of a sudden, things were back to...well, not exactly normal , but something a little bit more mundane than... whatever that was that had just transpired.
It was just a bro helping out another bro. It didn’t have to mean anything. It didn’t have to mean anything about Souji, it didn’t have to mean anything about Yosuke. (But what it did mean was that the next two months were going to be... interesting , to say the least.)